Twilight has made a discovery; Applejack has super powers (or has she?)by Andy RayChaptersHear out my discovery!I've got to get my notes, and then... Wait, where are they?! Oh, never mind, found them.So, basically, reality's not what it seems, and I'm about to demonstrate this to you! (Don't try this at home!)Hear out my discovery!It was night time in Poniville, home of Twilight Sparkle (that's the slogan, right? Just kidding). As a custom, this town's citizens had been off to sleep. Not as to displease Luna, the night princess, of course. Yet there still was one house, in which lights were still on: a library. Not just any library, mind you! That was the Poniville library, home to Twilight... Wait, haven't we seen this one before? Oh, yes, we have! Perhaps, it is about time to tell, who this Twilight Sparkle was: she was Her Majesty Princess Celestia's best student in Friendships. What? Yes, they had such a subject... Why, since Her Majesty Princess Celestia had decided, in order to prevent her ancient enemy, Nightmare Moon, from establishing a night eternal, to send her very best student to go make some friends! And, long story short, she did make some and decided to stay in Poniville. So, despite the night time the lights in the library were still on... What?! No, the tale of Twilight defeating Nightmare Moon is a completely other story! Now, please, stop interrupting! Anyway! Twilight was in her library, studying. "Phew! Boy, it's night time already? Well... Proceed onward!" That's right, she liked studying. Anything, actually, but mostly magic. Just this morning she found a rather interesting subject to, figuratively speaking, sink her teeth into. ""...therefore reality, as we perceive it, might not be what it seems to be..." How interesting!" She quickly jotted that passage down along with the other important things she had jotted. "It appears, the whole world may be not what we see it as! Oh, I'd better have everything it says about it recapitulated! On the other hoof... It would be a nice idea to get some sleep. Getting up lately becomes all the more unfun thing to do". She chuckled slightly at the word she just used. ""Unfun", huh? Guess, that's what Pinkie might come up with. That's right, Pinkie! Need to see her and to spend some quality time with her! Boy do I need to take a rest from all these books and to relax!" She put her quill down, then stood up and stretched: "But I must finish this research! Who knows, what incredible possibilities this world may hide!" And so she returned to digging into the subject. The more she studied, the more interesting and more engaging it seemed. It was well past anypony's bedtime, that Twilight finally got satisfied with what she'd discovered. "A-a-ah! -- she yawned. -- Well, I'm done for today. Or, maybe, it is "for yesterday"? Ha-ha, no time to waste, better be off to bed!" She made to go to bed, but then stopped and stood for a second without moving, as she repeated the very essence of what she'd learnt: "Reality is all but an illusion... albeit an awfully persistent one". With these words said she trotted to bed. And so the night passed. Celestia woke up and raised her sun. The morning began. The library's door slammed open, and out sprung an eager Twilight: "OK, my dear friends! Here I come!" -- with those words said she was off. Alright, WHAT IS IT THIS TIME?!! Huh? So, you want to know... Well, OK, first, there are two princesses as of this tale's events: the day one and the night one! Second, was it not said to you, that Twilight lived in the library?! Huh? YES, HER HOME WAS A LIBRARY, AND THE LIBRARY WAS HER HOME! NOW KEEP SILENT!!! ...Uh-h-h, and go watch the origin, why won't you?.. Called "My little pony: Friendship is magic"!.. Um, now... As Twilight trotted through the streets of Poniville, she kept looking every way for her friends. "Come out, my friends! Where are you?" -- she murmured under her breath. At such rates it was going to be a long time, before she found one. Her determination unwavered, Twilight kept trotting onwards, not even noticing, Pinkie had been trotting alongside her for some time now. When she did register somepony's hooves clopping along with hers -- well, does one need telling quite what a surprise she was in for? Screeching to a halt, eyes round and directed at her sudden stalker, she yelped: "Gah! Pinkie?!" Coming to a stop as well, Pinkie replied to Twilight with a hoof-waving, eyes closing from joy: "Hiya, Twilight! What's up?" "Pinkie! I'm looking for somepony to tell what a great discovery I made just this night... and you've been following me for this whole time?!" "Uh-huh! I was just hopping through the streets of Poniville, looking, if any of my friends was out there looking for something -- and whatdaya know? I saw you doing just that! Nice guess, huh? So I up and approached you and decided to help you in your searches! Because, if two do it, it's twice as faster, isn't it? No? Well, that's what I thought, at least. So, I repeated every move you did in hopes to help you to reduce the amount of time needed... Wait. I should be saying "to save time", "to spend less time" or what? Huh... What is with my speech pattern today? Is someone out there trying to force me to speak this way?.." Uh-h-h... "...because, if there is... for example, I dunno... a guy with a quill!" He-he-hee! "...or some other means of writing stuff about pony lives, like... Uh, well, Twilight, do you know of any good writers, who write about pony lives?" "Uh-h-h... Perhaps... in the library you could find some information about what you nee..." "Oh, right, library! By-y-ye!" A-a-and with that said Pinkie zapped off to the library's direction. Phew! "Urgh! Why, when I need my friends, they just bam! and disappear?" -- grumbling, Twilight turned and made her way back to the library again. However, when she finally made it there, out of the doors jumped a slightly pissed-off... Uh-oh! "...like A. K. Yearling, for example!.. Boy, Twilight, you sure do have a lot of those!" At that T-twilight seemed n-not able to find a-any words t-to respond with: P-Pinkie's b-behaviour was a-as strange, as P-Pinkie herself. So she s-stopped in her tracks, looking j-just that: confused -- watching this little p-pink menace g-glare at s-somepony, who w-wasn't even supposed t-to be there. Oh, wait, no, she's at ease, as friendly, as can be, for she was speaking to Twilight directly. What a relief to have her calmed down and to be safe out of trouble!.. "...then I'll make sure it can't even lift up a quill any more!" -- resumed Pinkie with an angry face. Dang! And, w-whatever she was going t-to do... it seemed not to be... very pleasant! No!.. "Pinki-i-ie!" "Ye-e-es, Twilight?" -- the little pink menace looked up at Twilight with a bright and happy face, her eyelids batting a couple of times, as if nothing unpleasant and, no doubt, d-deadly of a sort was just about to happen! "Would you be so kind as to just stay still for a whole minute and listen to me?!" "Sorry, Twilight... I've got a meanie-pants to take care of!" -- she said, a bit too menacingly for anypony's liking... Or anybody's, for that matter. Holy cow, let's hope for the best. Let's hope for the best! "I can just feel it whining, curled in a ball!.." -- she said very threateningly; she'd make for a good hunter with that way of saying things... On a side note: up to this point this story most definitely does NOT contain anyone bawling and curled in a ball! Let's say it with a strong emphasis put on it: no one! "Sure, no one likes it, when they're called a crybaby..." Ya think?! "But let's just face it..." "Ur-r-rgh!" Twilight just made a turn and, with her face full of utter frustration, headed in the common direction of her friends' possible locations: "And to think, I wanted to visit her lately! She doesn't even want to listen to me! Ur-r-rgh, Pinkie! Whomever should I find to get rid of all of this frustration this insane mare brings me to experience?!" Eliciting one more grunt (or was it two?), Twilight was going away from this... little pink menace!.. N-no, rather from this aggravatingly frustrating... urgh, don't even wanna talk about how much it aggravates me! That is what Twilight was thinking, as she resumed her searches for somepony to listen to her incredible discovery she made all by herself! Thinking of those eyes filled with excitement!.. Those ears absorbing every sound she'd make out! It filled her with equal excitement... and determination! "...W-well. Seems, like, whoever was messing up with Pinkamena Diana Pie, is gone. Ah, well! So, Twilight, what was it you wanted to say to me?" Seeing no one in vicinity, Pinkie frowned a little: "Huh... I was sure, I had seen Twilight passing by... What happened, anyway? Uh-h-h..." Yeah, let's hope, she'll know (or even better, she won't), what happened, by the point we reach the end of the tale of Twilight's great discovery! Little does she know... that this tale is anything but about her no doubt great discovery! Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha-a-a! "Hey! I sense an evil laughter not far away from here! I'd better warn Twilight!!!" -- a-a-nd she's off to somewhere... We-e-ell, we'd better be heading to the opposite direction she went in. Who wants to mess with her speech pattern again, huh? For, if there were someone, not necessarily a pony, who had an incredible ability to control the flow of whatever is going on... and it's not to say there is such a being! But... if there were one! A little chance of that happening, but if... If only it were true... then this being would be just as scared of Pinkie's unsettling ability to see past the common conventions of storytelling, as just about anypo... "Aha! I knew it was somewhere close to here! Alright, little buddy, be not afraid! Come out, come out, where-e-e-e-ever you are-e-e!" She scanned her surroundings. Nothing. Nopony moved. "Come on, little buddy! Ponies are nice! Are you a pony? Or... aren't you?" Ah, darn it! She's getting close! "I won't hurt you. I've been taking lessons from Fluttershy on approaching wild animals". Wait, when? "Ha! Gotcha!" -- with that said she leapt in a random direction, as if to ca-woa-ha-a-atch! Someone! But... woah! There was... nobody, nobody there!!! Phew! "Huh? I was pretty sure, there was someone!" -- but nobody answered. Seriously, nobody to search here for. Ha-ha-ha!.. "Well... If there did be a sneaking someone!.. He'd better watch out!" -- with that said Pinkie, eyes half-closed, looking ominously, retreated step by step, until she disappeared out of view. Meanwhile, as Pinkie tried to catch an inexistent someone (who epically didn't get caught by her ominous pink hooves and is still shuddering just thinking about what, if he had...), Twilight was far away from the pink mena... frustration in disguise! -- hoping to find some of her friends. Luckily enough, she didn't need to wait for long: "Oh, Fluttershy, wait!" The shy pegasus didn't seem to need Twilight to tell once more: "Gah!" That was a particularly loud "gah!", not one she elicited very often. Only in those cases she was especially caught off guard. "Oh, sorry, Fluttershy! I didn't mean it! How are you?" "F... fine, I guess..." -- seeming very unconfident and most definitely not brave enough to stop shivering, Fluttershy rose to her unsteady hooves, not even looking directly at Twilight, still shocked. "Fluttershy, listen! Just this night I discovered something so-o-o incredible!.. -- at this Twilight squealed. -- So incredible! I don't even know, if I'll be able to unload it all before you in a huge pile, before I just explode!" And Fluttershy didn't like explosions. Nor did she like piles of information unloaded before her in an even huger pile thereof. Especially if such information required her being the centre of the unloader's attention! So... "Eek! No, Twilight, listen... Uh-h-h, I don't mean to stop you, so if you like... but..." "OK, great! -- said Twilight with an almost insane grin plastered on her face. Geez, she's excited alright! -- So..." -- she gasped for air, for she'd need that, when she unloads all of the knowledge she'd gathered so far... Only there wasn't so much of a knowledge. "Eh-h-h, I might have left my notes back in the library, but basically -- reality's an illusion, and... well, yeah, and... H-how do I put it... Uh-h-h..." Fluttershy, eyes shut tightly and face turned away of the expected source of explosions, huge piles of information and most unwanted attention, cracked one of her eyes open to make sure there wasn't going to be any of listed above. As soon, as it appeared she'd been right, she got enough courage to face Twilight, some slight confusion on her face. For some reason the onslaught seemed to have been delayed... "Uh... Well, Twilight, if you don't mind, I... yes. I'll be... off. I was... going to... well, some place, so... Um, well, I-I will be sure to check you later. That is, if... you'd like. Well... Um, yeah... I'm so sorry I didn't get to listen to you, but... just not now! Please?" With that she was off, quickly gaining distance. "F... Fluttershy! Wait! I... I almost remembered! Urgh, no, I didn't. -- she stomped her hoof. -- Oh, Celestia forgive me, I'm going to blow on the spot!" And Celestia forgave her, for she loved her little pony. Even if Twilight didn't blow. Not on the spot. Not somewhere else some time later. Not at all. Despite all that she forgave her. She even chuckled at her little outburst (even if she couldn't actually observe her at her little moment for reasons not covered in this book, for they are obvious to anyone, who's reading it. Seriously, she's far away at her castle in Canterlot, it doesn't take someone as smart, as Twilight, to understand that! Speaking of whom...). Fuming with angry discontent (to put it mildly!), she set off to one direction she knew: somewhere her friends might happen to be. And that wasn't somewhere she knew... All of this frustration: from Pinkie for acting agoof (she chuckled; Pinkie would be glad for such a silly-vanilly word... Uh-h-h... Still!), from Fluttershy for being... well, herself, but, damn it all nonetheless! -- and from herself for forgetting the very basics -- all of it clearly called for some sort of relaxation. But first she'll get to the library and learn by heart every little ink blotch she made writing her research, every single molecule of that stupid paper... papers, to be precise! She won't be unprepared for such an apocalypse any once in the future! No. Not again! "Well, my, my, darling! Why do you seem to be so blue today?" "You know I'm purple, Rarity!" -- snapped Twilight at very conveniently passing by Rarity. Wait... Rarity? "Oh dear, Twilight! That would simply not do!" "Rarity, listen! I... Actually, I have to get back to the library... and learn all of what I discovered, by heart... every single letter and... every single curve... Why". She couldn't say it more flatly. It wasn't even a question -- something between "just tell me why and bother me not" and a desperate "oh why, heavens, why??!". Rarity, having as sharp eyes, as she had, didn't need any more words or gestures. She understood immediately. "Come on, go with me!" "And then I'd need to find you... You... coming along with me?.. To... watch me learn?.. Or we'll just... uh..." -- she could obviously not think straight -- so frustrated she was. And desperate. And tired... And... "Now, come on with me, dearie. You won't simply learn anything new today!" "It's not new, Rarity, it's... well, yes, I'll learn it anew... No, I won't. I don't want to. Please, I just want to..." -- and then she just did what she intended to say: slumped to the ground. "Now, now, darling! -- tutted Rarity at her. -- Get up. Now! Come on!" -- she lifted her back on her hooves. Not wanting, Twilight, eyes half-closed, head hanging low, did as told and went -- albeit with Rarity's help -- to where she was leading her to --... ...-- to the SPA! "Huh? A SPA? Why'd I need one?" "Not another word from you, until you get that bath full of... Lotus, what is it with today?" "Today it's with fragrant rose petals, Miss". "See? You'll like it! And I don't take a "no" as an answer!" "Rarity..." -- tried Twilight again, but failed. Rarity got her to take a relaxing bath... can't say she was ungrateful for that, nope. Not for a million libraries, each full of a million books, each on a million subjects (if that's even possible!), would she end up not thanking Rarity for that relaxation... How relaxing!.. Uh? Oh, yes, right. "So tell me, dearie, -- said Rarity, as both of them were relaxing in a hot bath, aforementioned fragrant rose petals' smell helping this even more, -- what disturbed you today?" "Well, everything. Everything, Rarity! -- despite all the help from the bath Twilight still couldn't get frustration out of her heart. -- I learn something new, which is I don't even remember now what! Then I go to find Pinkie! You know what?! She isn't. Even. Listening!" "Uh, darling..." "But screw Pinkie, I've never got to understand her well enough, -- she sighed. -- Can't blame her, even though I am frustrated!" "Darling, please..." "But, again, screw Pinkie! -- another sigh. -- Thought, I would go to her place and relax a bit from my research... Now I don't even remember what I discovered!" "Forgive me, darling, but..." "Rarity, -- exclaimed Twilight, frustration expressed even more so, -- Fluttershy was busy! She didn't want to hear me out as well!" "Well, -- Rarity paused to contemplate, -- did you force her to?" "Almost, but I didn't take my notes with me, so... she ran away". A pause settled for a while. Then Twilight was about to resume her venting: "To sum it up, I was the one to blame, but Pinkie!.." "Yes, darling, uh... Pinkie..." "Oh, I am frustrated even thinking of her right now!" "Which is quite inconvenient, darling". "Why so, Rarity?" -- asked Twilight, slightly irritated. "Well, she's standing right here, beside us, and..." "Who? -- Twilight snapped her head in every direction, suddenly noticing, there was a new person present. -- Pinkie?.." "Why, duh-uh-h, Twilight! I'm right beside you, no need to even apologise for gossiping about some of my, may I notice, everyday quirks, like it's something new you encountered just this day". The speech was dry, even too dry for somepony so cheerful and upbeat (if that can be applied to a pony, that is), as Pinkie. Twilight was afraid to even think, what she might have done to break such a lovely friend! "Uh... Hi there, P-Pinkie..." -- started Twilight, unsure. "Why, hello there, Twilight Sparkle", -- replied Pinkie calmly. Twilight felt herself getting more nervous: "N-nice weather it is today outside, isn't it?.." "Why, yes, the weather today is quite charming for my liking. What do you say, Rarity?" "Uh, Pinkie, is everything OK? Because it seems to me..." -- Rarity was unsure, what to say. "Oh, no-no-no, everything is just fine, if I do say so myself", -- went on Pinkie, completely failing to notice the look on her friends' faces, which clearly spoke confusion and slight terror at Pinkie's well-mannered and so uncharacteristic speech pattern. Which can only mean one thing. It is happening again! Oh no! Celestia, why? "Pinkie Pie, darling, are you absolutely sure you are alright? You don't appear... yourself any more", -- offered a concerned Rarity. "M-m-m, -- contemplated Pinkie Pie. -- Now, that you mention it, I do ever so slightly speak... uh... not my way. I don't usually speak like that! But why is this all happening? Again!" "Again? -- Rarity showed her surprise. "Yeah, it happened to me before. When I spoke to Twilight just this morning". "Yeah, that was exactly what I got frustrated about. Sorry, Pinkie!" -- cried out Twilight suddenly and got out of the tub to step closer to her friend, hugging her as soon, as she reached her. "Uh, -- Pinkie remained stunned for some time, but then gently smiled and returned the hug. -- Oh, it's OK, Twilight, always do you get mad at me, and always do I find it really adorable!" -- she hugged her once more, tighter this time. "Oh, Pinkie!.." -- cried Twilight tears of relief, joy and whatever, you decide, it's hard to write so lately at night... Oh, sorry. "Hm? -- Pinkie sniffed the air (oh Celestia...). -- Oh! I sense it again!" "What?" -- exclaimed Rarity and Twilight. "That sneaking someone I sensed before! -- she made it a point to emphasise the words "sneaking someone" with her grudge to said someone in her voice, almost hissing it, as she said it. -- Oh, they must be the one, who got my speech pattern jammed!" Sorry, Pinkie! Sincere apologies coming your way! Please, accept them! "But who might it be, Pinkie?" -- asked Rarity. Of course she wouldn't know, she's not Pinkie. "That's the one controlling everything that happens! -- exclaimed she (oh Celestia, no!). -- The one always watching! The one..." "Now, Pinkie, dear... -- started Rarity unsurely. -- Whatever is it you're talking about right now?" "I-is it some kind of your... everyday... quirks? -- offered Twilight carefully, lest the Pink One get upset the creepy way again. "No! Whatever they say, happens; whatever happens, does so upon their will; nopony has ever-forever countered them! Not even the Princesses! Oh, I feel like speaking so solemnly! It's not me! He simply doesn't know, how to handle my way of speaking! -- she dropped on the floor and started... uh-h-h... is she... wailing?? While banging on said floor with her forehoof, no less! -- This simply isn't feh-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-heh-heh-h-h-h-h-air!" ...A-a-and she bawled loudly, everypony staring at her in shock. Uh-h-h, sorry, Pinkie... You'll get consoled soon enough! "Well, Pinkie Pie, dearest!" -- exclaimed Rarity, rushing toward her and trying to put her hoof on... her somewhere, anywhere, anything to calm her down! Twilight was right beside her in no time: "Pinkie, please, calm down! We are there for you!" -- she felt tears about to flow from her eyes. Please, Twilight, cry not, for everything's going to get settled! "Oh-h-h... I'll find him!.. -- spoke Pinkie suddenly, not even a trace of a single tear on her face. Uh-h-h... -- I'll find him, and he won't escape me this time! -- she hopped on her fours, face displaying determination... and ferocity!.. Oh-ho! -- For I am Pinkamena Diana Pie, and nopony, even if they are not a pony, gets away with what... -- she faced to some random direction... Uh-oh, wait!.. -- ...YOU!.. YOU'll never get away with what YOU did!!! Not from Pinka... PDP for short!" A-as she was doing whatever the living cupcakes she was doing, everypony engaged in a panic fit. N-no one seemed to understand, what was going on, nor did anyone know, what to do... "Pinkie, you must calm down!" -- cried Twilight, panicked. "Oh, yeah? Is that what YOU want or what The One Behind It All wants?" -- asked Pinkie, venom escaping her lips. "Whom the hay are you talking about?! Discord?" -- Twilight could not follow Pinkie's train of thought. "What? Why?.. Oh, no, that was not supposed to be a reference to that song!" -- cried out Pinkie, frustrated. "What song, Pinkie? -- Rarity joined in. -- Please, frighten us no more! You look scary!" "Well, I!.. Do I?.." "Yes, you do!" -- cried almost everypony present, a few though it might be. "Well... -- Pinkie trailed off. Her eyes darted one direction, then another. -- I... I-I..." Unable to find something reasonable to do, that would help the situation to get clearer, something that could help to fix this unfairness, Pinkie closed her eyes shut, liquid seen where it could escape from-under her eyelids, and bolted outside. Nopony seemed happy about the outcome... Not even The One Behind It All... Not even Discord would be, if he were here. Oh, Pinkie! Where did you go?!.. There had been no trail of Pinkie for quite some time by that point. And still, whoever had seen it all unfold before their eyes, had not left their places. Everyone was shocked. Stunned. Uh-h-h, dictionary, dictionary, where'd you be? "Uh, Twilight?" "Y-yes?" Rarity gave out a sigh: "I don't know, what just happened... I am going to go and console the poor thing. What she's frustrated about, I do not get, but she clearly needs somepony". "Rarity, I feel like it's all my fault! I should have never gotten frustrated over her... whatever it was she was doing!" "Twilight, dear! You have been frustrated today too much! You should not get yourself worried!" "But, Rarity!.." "No. When she feels better, I'll call you. Now, however, please... Try to relax". That said, Twilight, tears in her eyes, complied reluctantly. Satisfied with Twilight, Rarity hurried after the poor pink thing. There was still hope, she'd get Pinkie in her usual cheery shape! May this hope not perish! "Well... -- muttered Twilight, glancing down. -- Everypony's left. Whomever shall I tell about my great discovery?" "We, -- came the voice of the SPA ponies, -- could listen to you, Miss". This still didn't improve Twilight's mood: "Well, I forgot what I discovered, anyway, so does it really matter now?" "Please, worry not, for SPA treatments are on their way!" -- cheered the SPA ponies. Twilight decided just to roll with it: "OK, SPA time it is, then. I need to calm down and relax, anyway..." When done with the SPA, Twilight emerged out of its doors, clearly refreshed, compared to the state she entered there in. "Ah! Boy is it good to visit this place every now and then!" "That's for certain! -- replied Lotus cheerfully to her. -- Be sure to come again soon!" "Will do, girls!" -- Twilight really felt very spirit-lifted. She won't even need to go to Pinkie's to rela... "U-u-ugh! -- she gasped. -- Pinkie! Oh dear, how could I forget!" Saying no more, she dashed to somewhere, hoping to find Pinkie in that general direction. And she would have searched for her, no doubt, had a certain multicolour-maned, light-speed-dashing mare not happened to distract her from above: "Hiya, Twilight! What's up?" "Ugh, -- a gasp again, -- Rainbow Dash, have you seen Pinkie Pie?" -- she asked frantically. "Well... nope, can't say I have, -- replied Dash. -- Why?" Twilight was about to answer, but couldn't find the words she needed. "Well, -- she started. -- I... don't know where to begin from". "Huh? -- raised Rainbow Dash an eyebrow, confusion on her face. -- Why's that?" Twilight opened her mouth, as if to say something, but what could she really say? Unless she somehow read the story she was in... but that wouldn't happen. "Rainbow, if only I could retell you everything that happened to me today! And yesterday! Actually... yesterday I discovered something..." "Well, -- chuckled Dash slightly, -- what did you discover... egghead?" Unfazed by her friend's teasing, though clearly not amused, by the look on her face, Twilight continued: "I wrote everything down, slept for some time and in the morning bolted straight out of the library to tell all of you what I'd discovered". Rainbow chuckled: "Well, and then you met me, the one and only, who, -- here she chuckled some more, -- hovered above... -- she giggled, unable to contain herself. -- ...listening to your telling me about... your great discovery..." Rainbow couldn't hold it in. The whole exchange sounded so-o-o hilarious! Twilight practically was retelling the events, clearly nearing the point, where she'd have to say: "And then I met you, hovering above. You startled me with a "hi there, Twilight!", and I replied: "Hey there, Rainbow Dash, have you seen Pinkie Pie lately? I'm concerned about her for reasons I cannot remember, no matter, how hard I try, and try, as I may, I won't recall why. So, to help me with that, I'd like you to listen to me recall everything that happened. Ahem. Yesterday I was in the library, studying. No matter, how late it would get, I ploughed forward. Determination filled my heart, and excitement filled me up to the brim! So I bolted out of the library the moment the sun rose and..."" "Um-m-m... Rainbow?" -- at this point Rainbow Dash was rolling on the ground, laughing hysterically, the whole imaginary exchange going on, looping and recursing in her head. "Gah-ha-ha-ha-ha!" -- howled she with laughter. "O-okey, I... I'll go and get some... help?" -- with that she trotted uncertainly, not even a little bit sure, what had just happened. "I'll get you help, don't you worry!" -- yelled she back at Rainbow, who only now started to show the signs of recovering: "Ha-hah!.. W-wait... T... Twilight!.. Gah-ha-hah!.." -- she panted, clearly needing some air, despite her being outdoors. Trying not to laugh, she continued panting on, all effort put into shaking this stupid, insanely hilarious image out of her head: "Ha-ha! T-Twilight! Oh, Celestia hold... me-he-hee! Gngh..." Boy, that's one way to express somepony's amusement... Well, while Rainbow Dash was laughing, Twilight couldn't help her in any way, so she'd had better bring somepony in... "Hiya, Dashie! Whatcha laughing at?" "Oh b-boy! He-he-he... Pinkie-he-hee, heh-he-he-help!" Pinkie, who had strangely appeared out of nowhere, watched Dash in slight confusion, head tilted to one side. "Huh. Dashie, what's so funny?" "Ghee-ee-ee..." -- tried to contain herself the Amused One. "Hm-m-m... I'm sensing this again! Somepony's trying to mess with my friends!!!" -- with that an angry expression filled her face, rage sparkling in her eyes... Ah, shoot! "Now, don't you go to anywhere, Mister Meaniepants! Not before you fix everything you've done so far!!!" -- she pawed the ground with her hoof (which should be "hoofed" instead of "pawed" then, since Pinkie had no paws to begin with). "Don't you dare try whatever you're trying to do, Mister! Twice have you defeated me, but now!.. You know what? No! You won't do this! Oh, no, you won't! -- she expressly shook her head to make her point. Geez. -- Not again! -- more head-shaking, much analogous to the one before. Now, does this sound familiar?.. -- Sorry". Having said that, she approached Dash with steady steps and firmly took her by her shoulders and shook her, almost violently. "Heh-he-heh", -- Rainbow Dash's laughter died down a bit... Um, well, a whole lot of bits, actually... Holy cow, Pinkie's so scary right now! Shielding away from her won't suffice! What to do, what to do?! "Oh no, no one's shielding away from anything! Now get everything back on track!!!" O-okey! Well, as Pinkie was raging at whomever she was raging at, Rainbow Dash finally calmed down enough not to try (and not to fail miserably) to hold laughter in herself every moment. "That's better! -- said Pinkie Pie, satisfied. -- Now, did I see Twilight here?" "Oh... -- groaned Dash. -- Oh, Twilight? She was standing right there, but then..." -- she snorted in an incoming laughter fit, memories still a living picture. "Rainbow! -- exclaimed Pinkie, concerned to no end, as her friend was going to fall into the Deadly Pits Of Laughter. -- Oh, no, you DON'T!" -- she bellowed and, taking a firm grip on Rainbow once again, shook her even more violently, than before. "Whoa-oa-oa, Pin-kie! Ee! Ee! Stoh! Oh! Op!" Seeing, as Dash was not laughing maniacally any more (and was not going any time soon, sheesh!), she did stop, putting her down. "What's up, Pink? The hay are you shaking me like a... uh, a maracas?" "Oh, Dashie, you. Won't. Be-lie-e-e-eve it!" -- and Pinkie began to unload all of what had happened since she appeared at her side and saw her laughing uncontrollably: "...and then I said: "Oatmeal?! Are you crazy!.." Oh, wait, where was I?" "Um, where... -- Rainbow wondered. Where indeed? -- I don't know. Weren't you supposed to tell me about whatever you wanted to tell me about?" "Uh? Oh, yeah, right! So, basically I ended up here, obviously summoned by someone's will!.." -- oh, come on! Why did she say that, emphasising the word "obviously" and looking unwelcomingly aside with a frown, no less, possibly at someone, when there wasn't even anybody there, and even if there were... "I know I was, because I appeared here out of nowhere!" At that Rainbow snickered, though not as severely, as before: "Well, heh, Pinkie, were you summoned or not, thanks anyway!" -- she could barely hold herself from going through all of the laughter again, ready to plop down and to laugh her rainbow-coloured mane off, as she recalled what everything had begun with. "Dashie?!" -- asked Pinkie concernedly, expecting Dashie to die of incoming howling. As if. "N-no-no, I-ha-ha, I'm a-alright", -- despite that she couldn't stop chuckles escaping her mouth. Pinkie started to get nervous and ready for a battle with someone, who might be doing it on purpose. Though why would that someone do something like this on purpose? "Please, Rainbow Dash, if you can hold this laughter in, then hold it!" Dash tried. She did. But what comes, when one tries to hold back laughter from memories of something very funny, Pinkie?! "Heh, P-Pinkie, you w-won't belie-he-heeve, just what happened! -- Dash forced out, -- Y... You should have been here!.." "Now, breathe deeply, Rainbow Dash! This will all pass! But, if it won't!.. -- her face once again turned very menacing. And, w-whoever could see that face at t-that moment, p-ponies passing by, f-for example, sh-shied away from her! -- If it won't... I'll make sure it will!" A-and Rainbow Dash tried breathing deeply, for it was her only solution to the problem. It helped. It really did! "Heh, -- one final chuckle escaped her mouth, -- yeah... So, Pink..." -- she almost choked with a laughing fit... "NO!" -- ...but she remembered the technique Pinkie taught her and stayed calm. "Phew-w-w!" "Geez, stop jerking up, whenever I'm about to laugh, Pinkie! I'm not dying or anything". "You almost did, Dashie, -- concern was clear in Pinkie's voice. -- And if you had!.." -- but Rainbow didn't let her finish that thought: "No, I wouldn't, silly! On the second hoof, I possibly could, but..." "See?! He's dangerous! He must be captured and dungeoned, then deprived of everything sweet, and then!.." "Whoa-whoa there, hold your horses! -- at that she giggled silly, but managed to keep it together. -- I have no idea, whom or what you could possibly be talking about right now, but... -- a suppressed snicker. -- ...let me first tell you what T-Twilight did there! Gah! -- laughter was bursting out, but Rainbow stood her ground. -- S-so..." -- she could barely speak at this point again. For a couple of seconds there she struggled to get words out of her throat... but nothing would come out. "D-Dash? -- boy was Pinkie Pie concerned by this moment! -- Remember: keep breathing!" It worked, but Rainbow Dash could still barely express herself, as she was bringing the events up: "...A-and... so she... -- she snorted, almost having reached the climax of her tale, -- ...r... retold... everything, gh... -- Celestia witness, she tried her best to keep from laughing, but, damn... -- Gah! Ha-ha-ha-ha!" Pinkie Pie was giggling silly as well, amused by this scene to no limits, as she grasped the very essence of what had transpired, Dash's laughter helping in almost no way: "O-okey, Dashie, he-he-hee! That sure was a funny thing to happen! -- relieved, that all of this laughter came naturally, she laughed at the silliness of this whole situation. -- Who could have possibly thought, that would have been something that silly!" And words do no justice to how glad she was, that all ended so light-heartedly! "OK, so he's not trying to force you to laugh to his own amusement, after all..." Thanks a lot, Pinkie! Though, whoever she talked about would very appreciate, if she didn't try to screw everything up next time! After all, this tale is not about Pinkie Pie trying to catch an invisible someone, who is said to have abilities beyond anyone's comprehension, but... "Spea-a-aking of which, Dash. Have you seen Twilight? You said, you had seen her, and then... -- she giggle-snorted, -- ...tha-hat ha-ha-had happened! -- she tried to calm herself down. -- Whoo! I am most definitely saving this to my favourites, where all my favourite stuff resides! Jokes, comedy routines and lots and lots of other funny things! Dash, please, could you retell me that, so I could write it down? Dash?" And Dash completely gave up on trying to hold her laughter any more. Had it not been for Pinkie present here and for her ability to be... such a scary pony at some times!.. Rainbow Dash would have choked from laughter by this point -- so hard she laughed! "OK, Dashie, please, I understand, that this is funny... to death!" -- as if somepony had been waiting for this moment, a "rim-shot" (though technically it is not called that) rang out. Pinkie only waved a hoof at somepony, who'd done that, as if to greet. -- "But, please, -- continued she, -- I'm serious, calm the hay down!" -- at this she grabbed her and shook her firmly. Dash honestly tried to calm, but... it was too hilarious to stop, so... [wpoiler]"If you don't, Dashie... -- said Pinkie softly, but with a hint to some unpleasant consequences. -- Then I'm bringing you at my place... to make cupcakes!" Dash didn't need repeating that twice: "What? Did you just say "make cupcakes"?" "Yes! Why?" "You know why... Pinkamena Diana Pie!" "Just PDP will do!" -- smiled she cheerfully. "As much, as I like pranking somepony, -- continued Rainbow Dash, a pang of hurt and a bit of anger in her voice, -- I was definitely not amused by THAT one, Pinkie!" "So-o-orry, Dashie! -- said Pinkie motherly. -- But I meant baking real cupcakes!" "Not up to it, Pinkie! -- grumbled Rainbow Dash. -- Eating -- yes, baking -- for Celestia, no! I had my share!" With that she went to somewhere, Pinkie bouncing after her, tone upset: "Wait! Dashie! Please, tell me, you're not upset, are you? Please! Don't be upset!" With that the two of them disappeared from the view of anypony that could stand at that place and watch them go. What a pity, there wasn't anyone to actually watch them... Well, even if someone did actually watch them... He would definitely be not going to follow them, because he would have slightly more important things to do! Where the hay is Twilight Sparkle?! Twilight had tried asking some ponies for help, but nopony had come. That felt... unpleasant, to say the least. "Gur-r-rh! Why does everything have to be so frustrating today?!" Nopony knew that. Which Twilight was not happy with. "Will somepony at least listen to what I discovered? -- exclaimed she. -- It's not that much to listen to... especially considering, I forgot what it was..." Well, it seemed, as though her yesterday attempts were all but futile. She might as well just get home and try it again. Wait a minute... Get home... "Ugh, -- she gasped, -- of course! I simply need to get back to the library! And get my notes! And then get everypony's attention! Then get some awards for my discovery! Then..." "Afternoon, Twah-i. Mah-inding some of your business, ain'tcha? Well, me too!" Past Twilight passed Applejack, loaded with -- who would have guessed! -- apples, all lying inside a cart. "Applejack! Are you busy?" "Uh... Well... yeah?.." "You've got to help me! Rainbow Dash's dying of laughter, and I simply have to get back to my library and to get my notes, then I'll remember what I discovered last night and will be able to tell all of you about it... Actually, I must console Pinkie, but..." "Oh, don'tcha worry your smart noggin none about that pink pony, Twah-ilight! Ah-i kinda forgot about that... -- she rubbed the back of her head with a forehoof, looking ashamed a bit. -- ...but Ah-i have seen Rarity, and she told me, if Ah-i saw you, Ah-i should tell you, she wanted you to know, that Pinkie's actually betta a lot. So..." "Oh, thank Celestia, she's OK! I got frustrated over her, and then thought, I upset her... but then we made up, anyway, but then she started... something, I don't know... Her speech pattern had been jammed... and then she tried to attack someone, and no one saw whom. And then she just turned upset again, for, apparently, nopony seemed to understand her problem! Oh, Applejack, I feel so compelled to see her! But what about Rainbow Dash? And my notes? Oh, Applejack, you've gotta!.." "A bit busy there, Twah-ilight. Gotta get to the market and sell 'em apples, till the cart's as empty, as a hungry insect's belly!" -- she knit her eyebrows at the mention of insects, for they did spoil the harvest. "But, Applejack, what about me!" Applejack sighed: "OK, Twah-ilight, Ah-i'll see, what Ah-i can do. Ain't sure, where Pinkie Pie is, but do you know where Rainbow is?" "Yes, follow me!" That said, Twilight and Applejack were off. Author's Note Will Twilight finally find a grateful listener? AJ just may be one!.. If nothing goes wrong, that is... Can't be sure with Pinkie around. May she not spoil the narrative! I've got to get my notes, and then... Wait, where are they?! Oh, never mind, found them.With Applejack by her side Twilight could not expect her already frustrating day to get screwed. She needed just one listener (though the more, the merrier) and her notes with her. So -- back to the library they're gonna go! May nothing stop them!.. Oh! She almost forgot: Rainbow Dash. Not this close to her wish was she going to give up! Friendship, however, was a complicated matter. Yeah, can't leave friends hanging, not Rainbow Dash, the most loyal of them all! They'll help her, and then... "Well? Where the hay is that rainbow-maned varmint you dragged me because of?!" Twilight snapped out of her thoughts -- they had arrived. And, apparently, not a single rainbow in near vicinity. "I-I left her here! -- stammered Twilight, confused. -- I-I guess, somepony must've helped her, while I was gone!" AJ's expression spoke for her: "OK, gotta go back to business, Twah-i. Be sure to have a nah-ice day, or whateva it is ponies say", -- and with these words she made to turn and leave... "Wait, Applejack!!!" The one being called winced at how loudly Twilight yelled this out: "Do you wanna make me deaf or what, Twah-ilight?! The hay are ya yelling like that?!" "Before you go, Applejack... -- started Twilight, a look of pain on her face. -- Please, tell me at least, where you'll be by the time I return from the library with my notes!" Applejack sighed: "Well, sugar cube, iffin ya need to know! -- Twilight cocked her head a little. Was something wrong with the way Applejack was speaking? -- You don't fah-ind me at the market -- then Ah-i must be back at Sweet Apple Acres. Now, iffin ya excuse me, Twah-ilight!.." -- and with that Applejack headed to her affairs, slightly irritated by Twilight's wondering. She was busy as it was, after all. "Thank you, Applejack! I'll be in a moment!" -- and she dashed back to the library to take her notes with her, for this time she was not going to forget it! Oh, she would unload it all! No one was to escape! Had she been a little bit crazier, she would have cackled maniacally... but that would have been creepy, so... she didn't. "And where, you think, are you going to?!" Startled by this sudden cry, everypony in near vicinity, except for Twilight, who had already been off, turned to see... Oh-h-h, no, you don't! Not again! Sorry. Uh, what's up with the references today? "May I ask you, what's with the speech pattern today?!" -- yelled at... no one in particular a certain pink pony, who'd been chasing the unknown someone from the moment she appeared in the narrative. "Excuse me, Miss! -- some stallion addressed her, sounding very displeased. -- I don't mean to impose, but would you be so kind as to yell at no one in particular at some other place?" "Oh, I'm not yelling at anyone in particular", -- replied she cheerfully, as if she hadn't been raging just the moment before. "Well, that's what I said. You're yelling at no one in particular", -- answered the stallion, a bit confused. "No! I am NOT yelling at anyone!" -- yelled Pinkie. Huh. Heh-heh! "Well, yes, isn't it?.." -- made the stallion to ask, a bit annoyed at the misunderstanding. "In fact, I'm yelling at, -- here her demeanour, her voice and expression on her face changed back to the raging ones, -- the one, who has been messing with the way my friends speak!!! He's been wise-cracking through the whole narrative! Assigning witty descriptions to whomever he has laid his eyes upon! Bringing ponies misery!" -- she fumed more and more, her voice rising and almost becoming a shrill shriek by the time she finished. "Excuse me, Miss!" -- the stallion sounded very irritated, if not beyond extremely so. "You be gone! -- Pinkie turned to him and yelled at him angrily. -- You don't belong in this scene -- maybe, another one -- but still!" "Ex... cuse me?!" -- the insulted stallion could not believe what he just heard, fury overwhelming him. "I said!.. Be... GONE!!!" -- with that Pinkie pulled out her party cannon and blasted the stallion, only summoned to calm the pink thing down, away. Well, down goes one, more left to come! "YOU!!!" -- she had trouble breathing, for so infuriated she was. Man, it would be a pity, if she... "Oh, NO, you..." -- here she choked and burst in a coughing fit. Better to be careful and to stay cool, for who may know, if any incidents await the unwary one, who decides to try and yell at... well, who was that Pinkie was yelling at, anyway? "Khem-khem, so... -- and suddenly she spoke calmly out of the blue. -- As I was saying", -- she glanced around and noticed for the first time, maybe, in this entire scene, that an angry crowd was staring at her. "Pinkie!" -- someone addressed her, clearly dissatisfied with her recent behaviour. Why would he, though... "Um-m-m... Sorry, everypony, I must have mistaken the wrong guy for the right guy! Heh-heh!" -- she laughed nervously, for she could clearly see, she was in trouble. Though, what for, no one would know. "Oh, come on, it's just me, Pinkie! Your very best party planner! Come on, would you get upset with your favourite party planner?" Silence. Unwelcoming, if allowed to add. "I-I... I'll make it up for you all! Just... please, forgive me and allow me to move on!" All stood still. Nopony moved. Nopony spoke. If one got closer, one would notice, they didn't even breathe. Now, whatta h... "Um... Hello? Anypony?" -- silence answered her. She approached one of the citizens and examined him closely. The pony hadn't moved an inch. He was frozen in the pose he was in. "Huh, artificial? Now, I know, that you hear me and all and that you control everything, but for some reason I'm pretty sure, it wasn't your hooves' deed... or whatever you've got there instead of hooves". That's right, whomever Pinkie was addressing to was not responsible for that! But what the hay is going on?.. Uh-h-h... you would ask. Yeah, what the hay is going on? -- you'd ask. Well, worry not, for everything is going to be explained... as soon, as we move to the actual story! "Oh! Well, apparently, whatever is happening, does so on somepony else's demand. Oh, well. Sorry I attacked you! -- she made a very joy-filled face, smiling peacefully and almost apologetically. -- He-he-hee! What an accident! Oops! -- clearly, she couldn't be more embarrassed by herself. -- I-I'll make it up to you too! Well, time for me to get bouncing! He-hee! Fun awaits me!.. -- her painfully stretched smile and embarrassed expression spoke for her. -- Uh-h-m-m-m... Remember: reality's an illusion, the universe is somepony's fiction! Check out my cupcakes, by-y-y-ye!.." -- with those words she dashed down some street to... make it up to everypony, to have fun, to write some fiction and, apparently, to bake cupc... Wait? What'id she just say about reality?? As soon, as Twilight got to her library, she made a mad dash to her workplace. "Notes, notes, come out, wherever you are!" She searched for them everywhere... She rummaged through the entire library... ...but they were gone. "No. Th-this can't... -- for a second there she couldn't remember, how to breathe. -- N... no... H-how am I supposed to remember?.. it?.." In utter shock she plopped onto the floor, eyes wide in disbelief and staring off into distance. Nopony would know now, what she had discovered! And there was no one, who could help her! ...Well, could anyone? W... wait a minute, that's right! Bang! -- the door to the library slammed open. "Twi-i-ili-i-ight!!! -- in burst none other, than our lovable pink random pony -- Pinkie P... -- Are you here?!!" -- she yelled loudly, unable to contain that shriek until the time for her to actually state her remark. What a rush, geez! Not wasting any more time, she zipped to her, once her eyes registered a purple smear: "There! Phew, here you go! -- with that said she slammed with a smack, what she was holding, down on the table before Twilight, almost fainting from an apparently long time spent running. -- You... gah!.. may... gah!.. be... needing... this one! Gah!.." -- and, rolling her eyes, she flopped on the floor, unable to stop panting. Now, as one would imagine, Twilight had been so shocked she wouldn't even have been going to have a look at what Pinkie had brought to her, but one quick glance was sufficient for her to immediately recognise, what it was: "I-isn't it?.. -- she brought herself forward with a speed even Rainbow Dash would have been jealous of, and took a closer look. -- This... can't be!.. -- to make sure, she flipped through several pages. Sure, these were what she had immediately recognised as... -- My research!" There were no words in whole Equestria to describe, just how happy Twilight was! Had Pinkie not been being busy catching her breath, she would have totally joined Twilight in her expressing the amount of joy that was filling her at that moment. For Twilight grinned from ear to ear, hopped in place with her eyes closed, squealed in delight, dashed from place to place; she even bounced off of walls, as if she had been made of rubber! Who knows, what else she would have done, had Pinkie not come to her senses and finally regained her breath. "Well, -- she panted a bit, -- who's to say, we need to move to what, now?" W-well-l-l... Y-yeah, Pinkie's d-definitely right... Some lost notes won't keep us from, ahem, proceeding with the story. He-hee, a little bit of tension won't harm, though, will it?.. "Uh-huh. What a sight to behold. He's smiling embarrassedly, -- she grumbled a little, her tone flat and a bit taunting; though, to whom she was speaking, was unclear. -- Yeah-yeah, right, well, I helped you not to get stuck with..." Here a still joy-filled Twilight interrupted whatever Pinkie was about to say (but didn't, for definitely is no fourth wall breaking allowed): "Oh-h-h!.. Thank you, thank you, thank you, like, a lot, Pinkie! Who knows, what I would do, were it not for you-u-u!" -- she squealed loudly in delight, grabbing the caught-off-guard Pinkie and hugging her as tight, as she could, and as close to her, as possible, face snuggled against the other's pink cheek. "W-well, -- after the first shock wore off, Pinkie smiled a bit, almost chuckling at how excited her friend was, -- not at all, Twily! -- she reached to return the hug, ruffling Twilight's mane... for some reason... in the process. Uh-h-h... -- Just had to make sure the sto... Erm!.. -- becoming aware of what she had almost said, she got one of her fore hooves close to her muzzle and coughed. -- I meant, your notes don't get scattered all over Poniville... no, over the whole of Equestria!" -- and she threw her hooves up at that, as she cried the last part out. Finally Twilight stopped snuggling with Pinkie and looked directly in her face: "Oh! Pinkie! -- and she hugged her once again. -- You can't possibly imagine, how much... horror you spared me! Thank you again!" -- as she said that, she finally unhugged Pinkie Pie, one foreleg still on the latter's shoulder, and stood on all fours. "Well... -- Pinkie's glance fell to the floor, and she smiled embarrassedly, for she was pleased with Twilight's gratitude. -- You're welcome, my friend!" With that they hugged once more, and then Twilight -- finally! -- got to the task at hoof: "Now, that I've got my notes with me, I can finally present you all what I discovered last night!" And nopony would be able to hold her back from doing this, for nothing would stop her now! "S-sorry, Twilight, but... I just remembered..." "Y-ye-e-es, Pinkie?" -- asked Twilight, and instantly did Pinkie get nervous, for so crazy did Twilight sound! But knowing, there was going to be a whole scene, where she'd talk about how she had stuck her nose into Twilight's notes and familiarised herself a bit with the material, all the while gathering them... where she'd be able to get the narrative flow back to track, if she tried... Knowing, she just could do it, filled her with determination! And so she tried to explain, why Twilight needed not to tell about it to the first pony she had met, but to go tell that to Applejack (of course, no fourth wall breaking allowed): "Back here, after you first met me this morning and I ran to check for an example of a good writer, who wrote about pony lives, I sensed... someone!.." -- here her tone changed to one of displeasure of someone. Had that someone been present, he would've sighed in frustration, slight though it might have been... "Yeah, but they escaped PDP! But not for long! But, before I could get to chasing them, I decided to wonder, what you'd wanted to say to me, but you'd been gone!" "Wait, so you heard what I was trying to say?" "Um... No, that's, why I tried to find you, but you were nowhere to be seen, so I almost gave up on searching for you, but then I went to the SPA, 'cause I sensed that someone again! Sure they were there to... well, I can't blame them, but they've been jamming everypony's speech pattern and making all sorts of things happen to everyone at their whim!" Well... If you put it that way -- sure, whatever you say, Pink One. (Gosh, will she just stop the fourth wall thing and behave like all characters? Why cannot an author have a story with an (as much, as possible) ordinary Pinkie Pie?! Huh, a pretty thick wall will be needed in a next story, apparently.) "...and I couldn't defeat them and scared all of you, -- went on Pinkie, -- which upset me very-very much, so I ran away in tears; but Rarity consoled me soon after! Thanks, Rarity! So I bounced back happily, all eager to meet you, Twilight, and to ask, what you'd wanted to say, but found Dashie, who was laughing, like there was no tomorrow!" "Oh, so you were the one to help Dash, while I was busy fetching Applejack to help me to help Rainbow! That clears it all! And now I've got my notes, and I won't even need Applejack to listen to me, 'cause I've got you!" -- with that said she started to approach Pinkie, that same unsettling grin plastered on her face, as if it were a part of that face. Now, it seems, it might just become a part, should Twilight overdo this. Scared down to her guts, but staying determined, Pinkie pressed on, as she neared the point, where she'd say, she had read Twilight's notes: "Yeah, I helped her to calm down from her guffaw, which was all because of you, Twilight, by the way, but never mind that!" "Oh", -- was all Twilight could answer with. "I tried to ask Dashie, if she'd seen you, but... then Dash laughed really ha-a-ard, and I had to calm her dow-w-wn somehow, but messed u-u-up, and then she became super upset because of me-e-e... He-he-hee! So I tried to make amends with her, but she left... so I decided to ask for an advice, and then I remembered, I still needed you, so I ran to the SPA again... but then there was that someone I'd sensed before, and... we got in a bit of an argument... He-he-hee! But then we were all good... but everypony was super-really cross with me for my yelling... Whoopsie, he-hee! So I ran to apologise to everypony, and, while doing so, I ran past your library and saw every sorts of sheets flying away, as if they had been a flock of birds, which they obviously weren't, but if they had been, that would have been amazing! And funny! He-he-ha-ha! Oh, right! So I'd gotten myself a very, incredibly, super impossible task to perform: to catch them and to help everypony to become friends with me again, because, you know, I'd screwed up and all, and I'll just spare you the details, because I feel, I need to gasp for air, because I can't say everything in a single breath, contrary to what everypony is thinking about me because of my ability to speak in long strings of words..." She went silent, only making noises, when a gasp for air would come. Had she not eaten a very sugary meal that morning, she would no doubt have collapsed on the floor breathless. "W-wow, Pinkie. I don't know, why everypony is making that remark. It's not, like you were talking without needing to take one single breath for a whole minute and 31.92 seconds, because that would be just ridiculous. Come on, nopony can even handle speaking for so long... unless they have a very large chest, but still. Speaking without taking a breath is hard. But of course you knew it all this time, so you wouldn't even consider trying to speak for such large an amount of time, now would you?" Sarcasm was clear in Twilight's voice, but it disappeared without a trace, when she heard Pinkie wheeze: "N... not... funny... T-twah... light..." -- gasped Pinkie, for she had run out of any air her already not so much large lungs could contain. In fact, every muscle responsible for squeezing air out of her lungs hurt so much she had to thank whatever supreme force that had decided to take pity on the poor thing and to leave her with at least some ability to breathe. And that's not to mention, she needed to breathe intensely, which caused her even more pain, for her breathing muscles hurt like nothing could! Plus, the lack of oxygen in her blood from not inhaling for such long a time sure caused her problems, because she would black out any minute! Why does the Universe hate this pink mare so much? Even considering, it is watching her intently and actually controlling everything that happens in the story! Why can't it just let Pinkie not have a near-death experience?! Does it not know, Death isn't supposed to appear in this story, because it wasn't planned for it?? She'd know, she was welcome, by seeing the "Death" tag, but does this story really need some death? Heck, this story isn't even about such a tragedy, it hasn't even the "Tragedy" tag! Not even "Sad"! Come on, what's happening to this innocent tale, everypony! Hello-o-o! Let's make it happy and cheery again! Let's say, Pinkie was not going to die, because that would be inappropriate, to say the least! Let's say... ...But suddenly it didn't quite hurt that much already. Suddenly the air became all crystal-clear and very enjoyable to take in. The pain in the muscles suddenly ceased, causing trouble breathing no longer. Pinkie still needed air badly, and she kept on gasping for it, but that would be just a matter of time, before she fully regained her ability to breathe. The breathing muscles were going to hurt notwithstanding, but that was nothing a pony couldn't handle. "Yeah? Well... I... -- tried Pinkie speaking, but panting still interfered with that. -- I... I need to... catch... gah, my... gah... breath!.. -- she panted some more. -- Ouch. Every... thing... hurts!" "Oh, poor Pinkie! -- exclaimed Twilight, forgetting for a minute, she had something to tell. -- Do you need something?" Still panting, Pinkie replied: "You... to leave... me... alone for some... time... Gah! -- for, you see, that would leave Twilight only with Applejack to talk to. Just as planned. -- Oh, and... please... bring me... a glass... of water..." "J... ust a little glass of water? You sure you don't want anything else?" -- asked Twilight, a bit of suspicion in her voice. "I am... not, gah... singing... that, Twilight... Just... bring... the glass... And put it... down... please..." "OK", -- with that she left for the sung glass of water, a memory of Discord, requesting that same thing once, not improving her mood any. "Wow, Pinkie, -- she said upon her return with a glass full of requested drink and seeing, Pinkie had lain down. -- Next time, please, try to remember to breathe, when you're talking! I don't want to see you like this ever again!" -- she put the glass down beside where Pinkie was lying and hugged her to comfort her: "There you go, Pinkie! Please, be alright, OK!" "Gah! Sure thing... Twilight!" -- forced out Pinkie. Apparently, her breathing had improved, for she could say more, than just one word, without as much as a struggle. "Would you like to listen to what I discovered last night, maybe? -- remembered Twilight nonetheless. Oh... -- I've been itching to pour it out since the morning! Not literally itching, of course", -- she smiled. "Ga-a-ouch! No, please... Twi!.. Don't!.. Gah! Not laughing!.." -- pleaded Pinkie almost with tears in her eyes. "Ouch! Sorry, Pinkie! Sure, no laughing for you, until you breathe properly". Then she tried again: "OK, joking aside. Would you like me to busy you for a moment? Please, Pinkie! If you don't, I might just explo-o-ode!" Pinkie felt uncomfortable under Twilight's pleading gaze. She didn't want to listen to what Twilight was going to tell, not before she achieved her goal. Which was asking Twilight, what the latter had wanted to say to her. So how does she make Twilight stop and let her, Pinkie, ask that? Does she offer her a new topic to talk about, so her unlimitedly persistent friend forgets about her discovery altogether? Pinkie shook her head mentally at that: although Twilight was often eager to talk on various topics, she seemed to be very determined to speak of this particular subject. Plus, she needed to speak to someone. Pinkie might not know it (or she might, who knows?), but Twilight had been dying to share her discovery! As a good friend Pinkie Pie didn't want to upset her. It seemed, changing the subject was not a good idea at all. "Then how about just turning Twilight down? It's just the matter of telling her, I'm not inclined to listen to her right now. That might just work... But wouldn't that upset Twilight as well? Wouldn't it be offensive of me to do that?" -- thought Pinkie to herself. Then she shook her head mentally at that as well: no, that would be even more offensive, than trying to slip out of it. It would definitely simply not do. Then how about something as inoffensive, as can be? What, if she just pleaded Twilight to stop trying to flood her with what she had discovered, for a time being? But Twilight didn't seem to be going to stop any time soon. Oh, no, she wasn't! Not when she was so close to her goal! Pinkie was left with few options. If she didn't make Twilight stop, then the only thing left for her would be breaking down, for she wouldn't be able to fight off what Twilight tried to assault her with. And Pinkie didn't want to succumb, knowing, that the story being told was going completely off track. Well, that's an actually good point, you know. After all, this is a story about Twilight dumping (or rather trying to dump) her discovery on a busy Applejack, and that's not even the best part of it! No, this story is not going to stall! Pinkie is clearly needing somepony's help! So how about this somepony being someone... Er, well... someone a lot more competent in story-telling and the basic narrative flow, than her? "Plea-a-ase, Pinkie!" -- pleaded Twilight, unwavered by her friend's prolonged silence. Pinkie watched her friend's almost puppy-dog eyes, and then closed her own eyes and drew in a breath, letting out a small sigh: "Listen, Twilight... -- she said calmly and serenely. -- Why does it have to be me?" "I-if you don't want to, y-you probably don't have to, Pinkie!" -- said Twilight hastily, although not very wanting to concede just yet. "Then why? -- carried Pinkie on, still not opening her eyes and remaining just as calm, as before. -- Why me?" "W-w-well, if you don't want to... then, I guess... But you are the only pony around! I simply have to tell it to someone! -- her voice started to fill with pain. -- Pinkie, I've been wishing for somepony to listen to me! -- she was close to starting choking with tears. -- You won't believe, for how long I have been running about Poniville just to get one of you, girls, to hear it! -- she was on the verge of tears now. -- And I only got to get you and Fluttershy! And she hadn't even a chance of l-listening to me!.. because I, damn it, forgot what I was about to tell! -- tears now flowed down her face, unrestrained by anything. -- Th-the only one, who promised to pay me attention, was Applejack, b-but... n-now I've got y-you, and... I-I-I'm desperate, desperate for somepony's close ear!" -- she cried out and broke down. Ow! Who could expect that to happen! As for Pinkie... well, she was at the verge of breaking down herself, ready to let it out as soon, as her last resolve broke. Tears swelled up in her eyes, and... Ah, gosh! No, really, gosh! What has happened to this little story?! Why's everypony crying?? That was not supposed to be that! That's it! Pinkie Pie is leaving the stage this very instant and gets herself something to cheer her up, because a sad Pinkie is most definitely the worst (and most saddening) Pinkie! Then, without her friend to listen to, Twilight Sparkle... well, sh-she... Gets... outside?.. And then what? Her head hung low, she drags her... self?.. to where AJ is supposed to be?.. Well... But then things would get, like, really, really awkward! A-all of this isn't even s-supposed to be happening!.. Now, chin up, everypony! Why so long f-faces? Come on, this is not funny, and if it is not, it's not welcome here! Random? Sure! Funny? Absolutely! Sad? Seriously??? ...You know what? No. There is no point in simply pushing the story to the intended ending! If Twilight wants so badly to take it off her chest... then... Then she may as well do just that! Just may she do so at Applejack's, OK! "Well, -- whispered Pinkie almost inaudibly, a large (but not literal) knot in her throat. -- Here goes..." She rose onto her hooves, still panting a bit, and approached an inconsolable Twilight. Once she got closer to her, she patted her weeping friend's back: "Th-there, there, T-Twilight! L-look, I... I can't see you all l-like this! You shall not be upset any more! Or my name is not Pinkamena Diana Pie!" -- still trying to fight her yet unshed tears back, she lifted the sobbing Twilight, so she hung off Pinkie's shoulder, and continued to pat her back in consolation. "W... w... will y-y-you l-listen t-to m-me?" -- asked Twilight, yet unconsoled and sobbing, face wet, but hope sparkling throughout this all nonetheless. Pinkie looked at Twilight, as the latter stared into her eyes desperately. It was painful to watch her stare like this! Pinkie could almost feel her heart shatter, as what Twilight felt rained at Pinkie's soul, hitting it, almost as if her soul had been literally left out for a storm to beat it! Tears swelled in her eyes once again: "Only if you stop being so blue, Twilight". "O-okey... -- she sniffed. -- I-I'll try..." Pinkie then contemplated her next move. "Say, Twilight... -- she started warily. -- W-why don't we go and... well... f-find s-somepony else, y-you know... to... well, join us? What do you say? Sound good?" Twilight just might buy it. If she did, then the story would be back to what had been originally intended! "Y-you... know where th-they are?" -- she sniffed again. "Well... I mi-i-ight know where Rainbow Dash could be... but..." -- her face distorted slightly at the mention of the upset pegasus. She certainly shouldn't have mentioned "baking cupcakes" prank she'd pulled on one of her best, no, bestest friends! She needed somepony's advice on how to approach it best! That just might be Twilight, but... she'd got a problem that prevented her from advising, so-o-o... Then again... What, if?.. Nope. "B-but sh-she is-sn't th-there a-any m-more, r-right?" -- still choking with tears (and swallowing lumps), asked Twilight. Pinkie immediately felt Twilight's despair rising again and hurried to hug her: "Well, -- she said, stroking Twilight's m... mane? Wait, what's she doing? -- if we can't find her anywhere, we might try somepony else". Twilight started to get better, as Pinkie's strokes comforted her. Her mood was improving steadily. Then a thought occurred to her: "Hey, Pinkie, -- she sniffed, -- now, that I think about it, -- another sniff, -- I do know where Applejack is, so... -- she sniffed again, her mood improving with each passing second, -- ...how about we go to her place and... well, you know, -- she sniffed again and smiled gently, -- involve her into my little presentation? After all, the more, the merrier, isn't it? And couldn't you, please, gather everyone else?" -- she asked, getting even more excited, hope filling her heart to the brim once again. "Erm-m-m... N... no, I... d-don't believe I know where the others are... well... beside Rarity, but she might have already not been there, so let's... go to Applejack's?" -- offered Pinkie with an unsure and uneasy smile, as if something had been wrong; but Twilight didn't seem to notice that. "Then to Applejack's we go!" -- exclaimed Twilight and, her mood improved to the degree, where one couldn't even say she had cried, made a dash to the library's door. "Hey! Twilight! -- chuckling, a grin on her face, Pinkie called out to Twilight. -- Haven't you left something behi-i-ind?" Twilight stopped dead in her tracks and turned: "Oh, really? What? Oh! -- and then she almost facehoofed herself. -- Of course. How could I forget about my notes!" Chuckling to herself as well, she walked up to the table she'd left her notes on at one moment, and picked them up. Then, having made sure, she hadn't forgotten anything, she cantered happily outside, Pinkie following her immediately after, as much happy, as the former. "Well, you owe me nothing, Mr The One Behind It All!" -- whispered she with a grateful grin, as she followed the happy Twilight. And had that One Behind It All actually been there to hear her, he would've... "Oh, quit playing a narrator, Mister! You know I know, you're right there... -- she lowered her voice to a barely decipherable whisper, -- ...behind the Fourth Wall!" Oh! Well, that was a mighty, mighty blow! Were it not for the readers, the One Behind It All would most definitely answer to Pinkie with a voice of his own, but, since Pinkie's inside, and she's not supposed to see past the Fourth Wall, giving the One... the OBIA a voice of his own would make the OBIA a character. This is not to happen, when an author is pulling a Fourth Wall breach, so-o-o... "So make him a character, then!" Pinkie. "Ye-e-es-yes-yes, I know, I know! -- she smiled almost playfully. -- Bad Pinkie, I know". Now, don't make it sound as something awkwardly... Uh, well. Although, you know... You might end up in one of the stories to be published. You know, as a reward. "You're getting off track". Oh, really? Well, uh-h-h... And so the two of them trotted merrily... "Cantered!" ...merrily to the very culmination of this tale! For Applejack was the only one left to tell to, and if she had not been, then Twilight would have had to go through all of it again! And that would be boring. "Yeah, totally!" "What was that?" -- asked Twilight, who led the way and so trot... fine, cantered ahead. "Oh, nothing, Twilight! Just was thinking: what, if Applejack were not there, so you'd have to relive this day all over again!" Now, wait just a... No way! "Ugh! Pinkie! How could you?.." -- gasped Twilight, completely at a loss of words. Naturally, for suggesting such a horrible (but let's just be honest here: boring) idea to a pony, who'd had an awfully frustrating day, seemed as something nopony would tolerate. Nor should. "Oh, come on, Twilight! Why fuss over nothing?" At first Twilight couldn't even come up with a proper reply. She only sputtered, unable to get a word out of her mouth, her indignation boundless... before Pinkie snorted, and then burst into merry laughter. Uh, o-o-o... kay... "Oh. Ha, ha, ha, Pinkie, -- said Twilight, her face expressing absolutely no amusement. -- Very funny". However she couldn't stay mad at a friend she'd almost lost, and then had been rescued and even consoled by. Still she found it appropriate to grumble a little: "Celestia my witness, Pinkie, you were the very reason I even visited the SPA with Rarity! And to think, I was even going to relax at your place!" At this Pinkie gasped a lungful (two ones, actually): "You were?? WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME, THEN?!! WE'D HAVE HAD A PARTY!!!" Twilight's expression changed a little, when she heard the cues of an upcoming celebration, and made a motion, as if to step back from the overexcited party planner, who seemed to be planning as huge a party, as one Equestria had never seen before! "Ooh! -- squealed Pinkie in delight. -- Oh, oh, oh! Can't wait to get started with arranging it! It's gonna be super exciting!!!" With that she made to dash in a blur to her place and to arrange a party, whose glory to come no words would do justice to describe! And they neither would, nor will. 'Cause that party shall be cut short, even if it isn't even planned, much less started! For, if Pinkie is so reluctant to go to Applejack's at the highest speed possible... Well, then Applejack's going to appear at their place right this instant! "Woah-ah!" Bam! -- and, before Pinkie could dash to anywhere, a very inconveniently passing-by Applejack appeared, returning from the market to the Sweet Apple Acres, just as she'd promised to Twilight back when they'd talked. And, as she appeared, Pinkie Pie dashed from her place to arrange a party of unimaginable proportions -- and crashed into her. "Ouch! -- exclaimed Pinkie. -- What gives?!" "For sweet cida's sake! Who in tarnation doesn't watch where they're goin' to?! Curse you, you varmints!" "Wait! Applejack?" "Huh? Pinkie?" "Oh, oh, oh! Applejack, we were exactly going to you! D'you know where everypony else is? Do ya? No? Well, OK, doesn't matter any more, though the more, the merrier, but scratch that! We needed somepony to make us a company! You see, two aren't a company, now are they? And three? Duh, three's a crowd! Well, I don't blame Discord for ruining the perfect quality time Twi and Princess Cadance were about to have, but can one argue the old proverb, can they, can they, uh-uh-uh?" Any further excitement, expressed through inconceivable blabbering, got, unfortunately, cut short by an apple shoved unceremoniously into Pinkie's mouth. This, however, didn't stop Pinkie from proceeding her speech even with her mouth blocked. For some time she was running without any fuel, but then finally came to realise, she was not heard, so she slowed down to a complete stop, and only then did Applejack speak: "Now, would ya kah-indly promise me to spare mah-y ears from any more onslaught coming from ya, Pinkie?" -- and she squinted expectantly. Realising, how displeased Applejack was, Pinkie felt all of the situation's seriousness. Her face, for once in her life, became less smiling and more serious, and she nodded. "Good", -- responded Applejack and allowed the apple to leave Pinkie's mouth. Then her eyes bulged, as she saw, the apple lacked one of its sides, apparently swallowed by Pinkie's mouth's fellow, Pinkie's throat. "The HAY, Pinkie!?? W... why didja?.. Uh..." -- Applejack lost every word she had, for so shocked she was. After she found the words she wanted to say, she managed: "Pinkie! That was a bad apple! Do ya?.. do ya even know where this rotten apple came from?!" "Nope, -- eyes closed with joy, replied Pinkie, seeing absolutely nothing wrong in biting an apparently rotten apple. -- Have no idea!" "Well... uh... Do y... Have ya eva even thought, why one shouldn't eat 'em bad apples?!" "We-e-el-l-l... Y'know... -- Pinkie smiled mischievously, as if planning something. -- I haven't until the day I did, and that day I thought: why are bad apples not to be eaten? To answer that question, I needed an apple, for how can a pony say, if an apple is bad, without taking a glance at it? Perhaps you know? I headed to your orchard, so I could interrogate some of the bad apples, why they're so bad. You won't believe, quite what a fascinating and enlightening story those thugs told me!" Here Applejack opted to shove her hoof into Pinkie's mouth instead of a rotten apple to stop this nonsense: "The hay in tarnation are ya, silly filly, shooting the breeze about?! Ah-i ain't in no mood for your silly granny's tales!" Pinkie tried to say something, but words wouldn't get out, for so great was the sturdiness of Applejack's hoof. Well... was it? No sooner did Applejack say anything more, than her hoof was suddenly jerked out of Pinkie's orifice with a bit of laughter. When she calmed down, her face was a sight to behold! "The HAY didja just lick my hoof, Pinkie?!! Ah-i did not put it in your mouth for ya to lick it!!!" Pinkie... well. To put it shortly -- she giggled silly, so amused she was! Has any of you ever licked a hand pressed to your lips as to keep your mouth shut? No? Well, Pinkie just did. Funny, isn't it? No? OK... The scene would have gone on endlessly, had Twilight not intervened: "Uh-h-h, I don't mean to interrupt, but... don't you all suppose, you could all hear a bit or two of words from me?" At that everypony stopped sharply whatever shenanigans they were busy doing, and snapped their necks to turn in her direction: "Yes?" -- they both said simultaneously. "Thank you. OK, so, as I intended to say this ages ago... -- and she paused, memories of what she had experienced still alive in her mind. -- Well... here goes..." And she flipped her precious notes to start it all off. While doing so, she smiled to herself contentedly: since the very morning had she wished to share her incredible discovery with her friends, and now has she got a chance! "Ahem. Before I get to the bottom of it: what do you consider most unshakable in the whole world?" "Uh... well..." -- Applejack made to say... "Oh! Oh! That's an easy one! -- cried out Pinkie. -- An unripe or rotten fruit!" Uh. Now, if only there had been some background music playing, it would have stopped with a stock vinyl scratch sound. Everypony stared at Pinkie, obviously having no clue, as to why she had suggested such a ridiculous answer. Then again, she was Pinkie Pie. "Yeah, I mean, duh! If I were not Pinkie Pie, then who would I be? Hm-m-m... Come to think of it... who indeed?.." "P... Pinkie?.. -- asked Twilight, incredulous. -- Wh... what are you talking about?? Wh... what has the answer to my question to do with you being none other, than you??? A-and... why exactly is it a fruit out of the blue?! -- but her incredulity wasn't going to last longer, than needed. -- Huh-h-h. You know what? Never mind. I should have not expected anything else from you. I mean, Pinkie! Even that randomness was wa-a-ay over your everyday definition for "randomness"!" Boy had Twilight been triggered! Her reaction would have been called "adorkable", had there been someone to call her that. Because, you know. Dorkiness made adorable? Come on, she was, wasn't she? "Oh, Twilight! -- Pinkie giggled and gave her a playful noogie. -- Relax! Just tell me I was right! Was I? Was I?! Is that a fruit?! Is-it-is-it, uh-uh-uh?!" This time Applejack durst not to shove objects Pinkie could possibly munch over into her mouth, deciding instead on something really inedible: "Will ya stay quah-iet for a minute, Pinkie! Ah-i am pretty sure, it was not what Twah-ilight meant, when she said "unshakable"!" "Pft!.. Bleh! What are you, insane?! -- shouted out Pinkie, spitting out a hoofful of dirt Applejack had previously shoved into her mouth, as to stop her blabbering. -- That was not even TASTY!!!" "Sorry, sugar cube, -- grinned Applejack slyly, -- would ya lah-ike to have some of 'em bad apples?" -- and she pointed to a cart she had come with, which contained a basketful or two of those. "Thanks a lot, Applejerk! -- grumbled Pinkie, obviously angry with her, and, her gaze away, made to head off to somewhere not even near Appejack. -- I had my share!" "Honestly, -- muttered she under her breath, -- that must've been what Rainbow Dash had felt, when I had mentioned "baking cupcakes" prank to her. Guess, I won't even need Twilight's advice regarding that". "Pi... Pinkie! Where're you going to?" "Say, Twilight, -- replied Pinkie gloomily, -- by any chance, weren't you going to say, "reality's an illusion" or something like that?" To say, Twilight's eyes bulged, would be saying nothing: in addition to that her jaw dropped so hard it actually hit the ground. "H-h-h... How?!" "Huh-h-h. Twilight, remember my rant back in the library? When I was saying, I was gonna need to take a breath?" ...but everypony was super-really cross with me for my yelling... Whoopsie, he-hee! So I ran to apologise to everypony, and, while doing so, I ran past your library and saw every sorts of sheets flying away... So I'd gotten myself a very, incredibly, super impossible task to perform: to catch them and to help everypony to become friends with me again, because, you know, I'd screwed up and all, and I'll just spare you the details, because I feel, I need to gasp for air... "...I mentioned running to apologise to everypony for my yelling, and then stumbling upon your library and seeing every sorts of sheets flying away -- those were these notes! I read them, while I was gathering them for ya! I don't need to listen to this, if this is what you've wanted to say to me for the whole time!" Intention to leave, she turned and walked away: "Sorry, Twilight, but I have some more important tasks to do, like making up with Rainbow Dash for what I said, -- she shifted her eyes, so her glare was directed at Applejack. -- You, Applejerk, are encouraged to do that too!" And with that she was gone. Author's Note My apologies, Pinkie and I messed the story up somewhat, but now it's all prepared to culminate and to resolve! Now there's only one listener to entertain! Twilight must achieve her dream! What will she do, when that listener tries to escape? Will she be able to pique her interest enough to prevent her? And what has Applejack got to counter Twilight's determination? ...Suffice it to say, the "Random" tag does not appear here for nothing... So, basically, reality's not what it seems, and I'm about to demonstrate this to you! (Don't try this at home!)Everypony was left stunned at Pinkie's sudden change of mood. "Well, -- muttered Twilight, still shocked, -- here goes one listener. Only one left to bother". "Uh, excuse me, Twah-ilight. Ah-i've got places to be, so you'd betta hurry, before Ah-i'm late". At this Twilight snapped back with a start and quickly remembered what she was here after: "Oh, right, so, basically -- most ponies would consider reality the most unshakable thing in the world. Anything can be proven to be false. Reality, however, cannot". "Yeah, so?" -- Applejack raised an eyebrow. "Well, it appears, reality itself is not as steady, as it might be! There exist proofs to that! I researched this subject yesterday in my library and got some spell samples to demonstrate it!" "Well... -- Applejack didn't know, what to say, words lost. -- That's nah-ice and all". Twilight went on, explaining her theory to a dumbfounded Applejack, who seemed to have lost the track of the things back when Twilight first opened her mouth. "...hey, Applejack! Applejack! Are you even listening to me?!" "Wah! -- gave Applejack a start. -- What? Uh... Wh... what didja say, Twah-ilight?" -- she asked apologetically. Twilight sighed exasperatedly: "Gurgh! Have you not been paying attention to me?!" -- she asked angrily. "W-well..." -- began Applejack, embarrassed. Twilight let out another exasperated sigh: "For Celestia's sake! Why is NOPONY LISTENING TO ME!!!" -- she exclaimed and threw her hooves up in the air. "O-okey, Twah-ilight, look, Ah-i've got some places to be rah-ight now, so, iffin ya excuse me, Ah-i shall go". Twilight's state was indescribable at best! Teeth clenched, an angry glare blazing in her eyes, smoke blowing from her nostrils, head tilted forward, so her eyes looked from-under her brow -- she looked, like she was about to explode, for real this time! "Whoa!" -- yelped Applejack and proceeded to running away as fast, as possible, because... "YOU GET BACK HERE, YOU UNGRATEFUL LISTENER!" -- roared Twilight, giving chase not long after. Meanwhile at the Canterlot philharmonic an orchestra transitioned to the next composition. "Playing now is an arrangement of "Yakety sax" from "The Benny Hill show"!" The audience applauded. The orchestra made the first notes. If the aforementioned orchestra had been playing anywhere in vicinity of this little tale's events, no doubt would it have been most hilarious for any possible viewers. For any, except for Applejack. "Gotta go fast! Gotta go fast!" -- muttered she under her breath, all effort put into keeping up the speed. No time to turn and look, if Twilight got any closer! She is no farther, that's for sure. All set to catch up with and to stop the running-away pony, Twilight felt her determination fill her up. Had she been able to use the strength it was giving to her, she would have used it in any way possible to stop Applejack! Actually, wait, she thought. Why couldn't she use the abilities she had already? She summoned her magic and cast a teleportation spell. Startled, Applejack barely managed to skid to a halt and not to crash into a suddenly having appeared Twilight. "You. Are. Going. To. Listen. To me. No. Matter. How. Badly. You. Want. Not to", -- she said sternly, emphasising every word. "No! Go away, Twah-ilight! What's gotten into ya?" -- cried out Applejack, anger entering her voice. But Twilight didn't seem to be listening. Gathering her magic once again, she prepared to encase Applejack into some kind of a detention spell, so she didn't get away. Yell or not, the time had come to get the hay outta there! Applejack, in a sudden burst of despair, made a mad dash forward and tackled Twilight to the ground, before she could do anything significant. Twilight oomphed, as she fell, her magic undone in an instant. Not wasting a second, Applejack quickly snatched Twilight's notes from her grasp: "Sorry, Twah-ilight. Ah-i've got work to do. Ah-i will be sure to read your great discovery, but now is not the best tah-ime, ya know". Twilight rose onto her hooves. Applejack could clearly see fury written all over her face. "Well, gotta go, bah-ye!" But no sooner did she make to bolt out of there, than Twilight took a magical grip on her: "First Pinkie's busy catching somepony inexistent, -- she spoke, suppressed emotions boiling through her voice, -- then Fluttershy flees as soon, as I forget the very basics of what I discovered... then I am so frustrated I cannot even talk to anypony! Then YOU make a promise to listen to me, when I get back with my notes! Then I and Pinkie stumble upon you, and it's two of you already to listen to my discovery! Then one of you disappears, and I am only left with one bucking listener! -- her voice rose with every sentence she spat. -- Only for that listener to make a terrible excuse, that she has to work!!! -- she shouted that so loudly even Princess Celestia would have heard that, had she been a bit closer to the source. -- I am not, you hear that, Applejack? Not going to lose my only listener just because she's got things to do!" And what was left for Applejack to do? Only to unleash her hidden power, for nopony knew that, but she did have some. Surprise? It sure is so! "Ya know, Twah-i, let's make it fair. You only show me what ya've got, if Ah-i getta show you what Ah-i have". At this Twilight even paused, stopping her deadly explanation. She contemplated what Applejack had said. "Oh, really? -- baneful sarcasm entered her voice. -- Well, whatever have you got, Applejack? -- and she started mocking her every way possible. -- A mighty rope that could tie any villain up? -- she chuckled, pacing. -- Or, maybe, a lucky horseshoe? -- she pondered a bit. -- Some irresistibly delicious cider, I guess? Not, that I'd like to taste some right now, anyway, but still". Here Applejack smirked a bit. Now was her time to troll the Obsessed One: "Um... Nope, none of above. Ya know, now, that Ah-i think of it... Ah-i'm not gonna show to ya, Twah-ilight!" Another vinyl scratch might be appropriate here, as Twilight froze for a second from Applejack's sudden retort. When she finally found her ability to speak, she only managed: "Ex... cuse me? -- she sputtered for a few seconds. -- Why?" Applejack only chose to be silent in defiance. "Tell me! At once!" -- demanded Twilight, growing annoyed of this resistance. Damn, Applejack sure had very strong determination to match Twilight's. It seemed, she'd need something more, than just that, to achieve her goal. Maybe... "OK, -- seemingly defeated, conceded Twilight. -- I give up. What have you got, Applejack?" Applejack only smirked and, eyes closed, her head turned in defiance, simply said: "No way am Ah-i tellin' ya". At that Twilight made a frown: "B... but!.. But, Applejack!.." -- perhaps, pleading will be the solution? Applejack only grew more cocky: "Go, buck, some, apples!" -- she said, as if daring her to punish her. "Pwetty pwea-a-ase!" -- made Twilight a cute pout. Seeing that, Applejack chortled: "In the name of zap-apples are ya doin'?" -- she laughed. Well, that didn't work, thought Twilight. Annoyance overtook her. "Will you STOP that?! -- she exclaimed. -- What's the big deal? Just spill the beans, and I'll present you my research!" Applejack's smirk only got even wider: "You know... Ah-i don't wanna listen to what you've got! So Ah-i ain't telling anythin'!" -- as she said that, triumph overwhelmed her. Take that, Twilight! Baring her teeth, Twilight growled, annoyed at this turn of events. Had she been a bomb, she would no doubt have exploded -- so aggravated she was, even Pinkie hadn't aggravated her so much, as Applejack! Brute force? Well, let's see, how that turns out to be. "For the last time... Applejack... -- she growled. -- Will you kindly tell me, what you've got, so I may tell you, what I've got, and spare ourselves a lot of oncoming trouble?" Not intimidated even in the slightest, Applejack firmly shook her head: "Ain't gonna show to you, Twah-ilight. Ah-i really ain't up to this rah-ight now", -- with an almost apologetic smile, albeit not so truly apologetic, she finished: "Sorry". "Oh, so tha-a-at's how we are, huh? You refuse to show to me, don't you?" "...Yep". "Well, then... -- Twilight telekinetically brought her notes forward for Applejack to see. -- I didn't spend time researching this subject for nothing!" -- she started flipping through the pages, searching for the one she needed. As she kept on flipping, she let out no word, suddenly all ominous. This itched Applejack for no obvious reason, although she didn't let her cocky attitude falter. "Aha! Now, -- exclaimed Twilight, as she finally found the page she'd needed, -- prepare, o thou apple pony, for my demonstration of a special ability I learnt over night! May reality return safe and sound at the end of this, for it is going to be ripped apart before the gr-r-reat and powerful m-m-me-e-e!!!" She posed dramatically, almost copying Trixie at that. Her horn lit, as she started to work her arcane magic, eyes shut from the effort. "Uh, Twah-ilight? -- asked Applejack, concern showing through her still fairly cocky attitude. -- Now, what in the sweet Apple's cida are ya goin' t..." "Reisanil, theunisaho, buggow, yu-u-ub! D'lwagg yub! Marre-gol-woh haz isservinue eethe, nozjule-lin na zyttilla-irre!" -- shouted out Twilight seemingly nonsense. And... SPELL ACTIVATED! * Reality changed slightly. * All things, up to this point deemed hidden or invisible, became very distinct. * Nopony was happy about that. * Twilight proceeded anyway. * She was filled with DETERMINATION. TSSSSSHHHHSHHHHPTS! BADOOOOOOOOMMMM! REALITY We really mean it this time. * Reality, as anyone perceives it... * ... BUMMM! BUMMM! * Reality... is cracking. BUMMM! KABOOOOOOOOMMMMMM!!! REALITY SHATTERED! "Twah-ilight! What'id you do?!" -- cried out Applejack, fright overwhelming her. "That's simple, Applejack! -- said Twilight, clearly enjoying everything that was happening and herself. -- As I was about to tell to you, reality is not what we see it as. In fact, what we consider reality, is merely an illusion! Now, isn't this a proof?" -- she asked with a happy smile of a pupil presenting her work to the class. Whatever Twilight meant by reality really didn't seem as real, as the world had before. Things ceased being just plain things and became a very complex set of components, each as complex, as what it composed. If one looked carefully enough, he would grasp the world's workings! Applejack, however, hadn't time for grasping concepts: "Twah-ilight! Dontcha realise this is dangerous to... to... do whateva ya just did! If... if ya don't change it back, then!.." "Well, AJ... What, you said, had you got?" -- inquired Twilight, a faint shadow of a smirk on her face, as she was approaching her, for she knew, Applejack wouldn't get away from answering this time! Applejack only remained silent, clearly scared of the madness surrounding her. "Oh, you may not answer this! -- said Twilight cheerfully. -- After all... -- she stopped, and her smirk got wider, turning an excited and somewhat ominous grin, -- ...I can find it out all on my own!" Her horn activated yet again... A sound effect followed her actions, and before her eyes appeared... "Huh??!" -- was Twilight's only response, as she watched in bewilderment the new form Applejack had assumed. "Twah-ilight... did ya... just do... what Ah-i think ya did?" Twilight checked quickly her notes to make sure this wasn't yet another illusion. It couldn't be! No way!.. "I'm not a fool! -- she let out frantically. -- Reality or illusion, I can still recognise a pair of wings, when I see one!" She cast yet another spell to shatter any left-over illusions, which might possibly remain... Computerised beeps filled everything, going off faster and faster. When they reached their maximal speed, a bright white light filled everypony present's vision and someone's voice (robotic, it appeared, but how a robot made its way to Equestria, shall remain a mystery) yelled out dramatically: "Oh, yes!" And the white light faded. And it became dark. And darker. And yet darker... When it seemed, it couldn't become any darker, a set of spotlights turned on suddenly, outlining Applejack's new form... And out of this form was protruding... "No! -- exclaimed once more surprised Twilight, not believing her eyes. -- I refuse to believe this is an unicorn horn I spot!" "Oh-h-h-h mah-y... -- Applejack's voice made her known to all present (even if the only present there was Twilight alone). -- If ya did what Ah-i think ya did, that can only mean one thing". Twilight simply stood there, watched her shadowed figure and listened, awestruck and utterly confused. "You're desperate for the premier of mah-y new horn". "No..." -- Twilight whispered, still refusing to believe the sight before her eyes. For this whole time?.. "How rude... -- scolded her Applejack mildly. -- How rude of ya it was to pesta me with your silly discovery! Howeva much ya wanted mah-y attention, Twah-ilight!.. ya had betta have not gone 'n chased me lah-ike that! Lucky for you, -- continued she not so sternly, -- Ah-i've been aching to show what Ah-i've got off for a long tah-ime, mah-yself, -- with that she made a step forward. -- So... to be fair, Ah-i should get mah-yself a handsome reward for being exposed to your actions' consequences", -- and she frowned, though that wasn't as much noticeable, as it would have been without the poor lighting. Twilight... well, how her brain hadn't molten into jelly, shall remain an even greater mystery, than how a robot made its way to Equestria (or how Pinkie eats so much sugar without as much as toothache or plays ten instruments at once -- not to mention with her mouth taken away from her! -- or how her Pinkie-sense works...)! Unless her brain actually had... But, if it had, Twilight wouldn't have been able to shake herself and to cast yet another spell. What could go wrong now? Not only did the horn not go away, but Applejack got a pair of wings as well, becoming thus... "An alicorn??!! Celestia help me-e-e!!! What the hay has gone wro-o-ong??!!" "Twah-ilight, Twah-ilight, Twah-ilight! -- pretended Applejack to be scolding her. -- Didn't ya hear what Ah-i told ya? Ya oughtn't to be so rude! Ah-i am gonna show you all of it very soon, dontcha fret!" -- she promised to her with an amused smile. Twilight's frantic attempts to make her spell work out right only caused everything to go more wrong with each attempt: after another cast a thing would reveal itself to be hiding some great, even shocking secret, as would Applejack. Being a princess had been all but an illusion, for Applejack was secretly a changeling... ...which only'd been a Nightmare night costume... ...under which an actual Nightmare Moon had been hiding!.. ...Only for that mare to be revealed as Princess Luna... ...who'd been Celestia this whole time! Nah, just kidding, she'd been a banana! In fact, Twilight was shocked to find out she'd been a banana herself as well!.. ...But was she really? Because, if she'd been... wouldn't she have been twilightlicious? (A "rim-shot" was played immediately after for no obvious reason...) "He-hee! -- giggled someone. Oh, hi there! -- Seriously, tee-hee? "Twilight... licious"?" Cracking with internal laughter was none else, than Pinkie Pie herself. That is, if she could have been named Pinkie, for, what she really was, was... well, were three things, namely: a pin, a key and a pie (bring the "rim-shot" in!). Um... Nope, there were not three things, but two, actually: a pink Internet Explorer window and a pie. A pink-frosting-covered pie, actually. There were words of frosting of another shade of colour pink, which read: "Happy earth-pony-day, Microsoft Pinc. I. E. //Math.PI!" Scratch that! It was a Raspberry Pi computer with a, mind you, licensed copy of Microsoft Windows Pinksta. Naturally there was the pink Internet Explorer window opened on fimfiction[.]net. The pie had been gone. On the computer's screen showed up an animated Pinkie Pie. She then charged at the screen and, breaking it, leapt out of it. The computer screamed from pain and seemed to die (that much could be said from looking at its Pink Screen Of Death). The pony then said: "You just can't get enough, huh? Aren't you tired of all these puns? Because I... -- she took a box of sweet potatoes out of nowhere and held it up. -- ...yam!" -- as if on cue, another "rim-shot" was played. Zap! "Hey! My yam!" -- yelped Pinkie, for her precious sweet potatoes had just been zapped to smithereens by Twilight. "OK, I'm done! I! Am! So-o-o done!!!" -- screamed Twilight. "No, you're not, silly! You just zapped the yam! -- tried Pinkie to make a pun again. -- What you probably are is... tyred!" And she was indeed, for instead of hooves she had now a set of four tyres. Someone, please, play us a "rim-shot"! "Yes! Yes, I am tired of all this madness!!! Where in the name of hay is Applejack?!!" "Why, in hay, of course!" -- smiled Pinkie cheerfully, pointing at a hay bale a couple of steps away. Ha, a clever one! "Thanks!" "Thanks?! -- um-m-m, Twilight was rather wound up. Not just because a wound-up-toy key in her back indicated that much, but because her nerves were not going to last for long as well! -- You should be thanking me, Pinkie, for not blowing you on the spot for not being helpful! I mean, shall I ever get down to the bottom of it???" -- asked she dramatically, despair and a bit of hysteria in her voice. And no, she wouldn't, for it would take a journey down the abyss she was currently above to get to the bottom of it! (Badoom-pss!) "No matter, how hard I try, -- continued she, -- I just can't discover the truth! I can't tell an illusion from reality any more! And the other way around too! -- that said, she clutched her head in her hooves (or were they still wheels???), almost weeping by this point. -- I am officially not following! Please, Pinkie, be a dearie and get a hold of the situation! You're the only pony I know, who actually can handle the unexplainable! Please, Pinkie! -- repeated she, miserable. -- Or, I fear, -- she added, -- reality is not going to return safe and sound, much less my brains!.. If that jelly even can be called brains, that is..." -- added she after a short pause. With that all said she whimpered pathetically and curled into a ball, with which Pinkie didn't pass up an opportunity to play for a while. Then she remembered herself and stopped: "Oh, yeah, r-right, s-so... um... There's got to be an explanation, hasn't it? I mean, Mister The One Behind It All! Please, there's got to be!" And the response did come. For Pinkie heard a distant laughter, which she recognised as that of... "O-o-oh-h-h! You. Are. In-ge-e-enious! -- exclaimed she, spirits lifted. Literally as well, for she hovered above the ground (even if it was no real ground any more). -- Ahem. Worry not, Twilight! I can think of only perfectly logical explanation there may be! -- with these words said she pulled a blackboard (or rather a black surf board) out of nowhere and scribbled something quickly. -- Here! Try this! And... um-m-m, please, don't ask me of "where'd I" and "how'd I", huh? Just... don't, pretty please? I won't bear a loss of such a smart friend!" -- she pleaded almost with tears in her eyes, afraid of what could have happened to Twilight's... jellybrain (badoom-pss!), should she have tried questioning. But that she wasn't going to do. Rather she did as suggested, and took a glance at the surf board. Written on its surface (yes, the surf board really had a face... a surf face (badoom-pss)!) was an instruction for her to execute. Now, normally Twilight would have thought to herself, that that could not have been possible, that there wouldn't have been an explanation to what she saw, because -- did Pinkie REALLY KNOW MAGIC??! Naturally the brain would have shut down and never recovered after that... Y-yeah, it would have... "Um-m-m... Mister... The OBIA?.." ...But Pinkie was worried for naught, for did Twilight not question the illogical... "Phew! You bastard scared me outta my mane!" ...and did she execute it. A strange sound of something revving filled the space. A "click" could be heard. "Twilight! Won't you look at this!" -- exclaimed Pinkie excitedly and tried to shake the ball that was Twilight. Who uncurled and took a good look at everything. No more was the world what it might or might not have been, just a simple plane of some unknown material. Above it was the simple, ordinary sky with ordinary stars and an ordinary moon. Wait, the moon wasn't ordinary. In fact, no ordinary celestial body is square. The moon, however, was. Instead of round it was square. "What". That was all poor Twilight could say, before her brain initiated the Purple Screen Of Death procedure, and then a reboot. "Oh no! YOU! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!!!" Ju-u-ust kidding, Pinkie, this critical process didn't die! Rather it froze temporarily, before it resumed. And, before Pinkie could express her immense rage at whoever could have been guilty for Twilight's misery (could anyone?), the laughter from before rang out again. Boy, what a hysterical laughter it was! Whoever was laughing that hard didn't die, only because, if she had died, there would have been night no more. "P... Pinkie! Do you hear that?.. Isn't it?.. Princess Luna???" And her it was indeed, rolling on the ground laughing not so far away from the two: "Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha-a-a!" -- did the night princess holler, her fore hooves clutching to her stomach, for naturally did such an extreme guffaw hurt! "Now, -- squinted Pinkie Pie, -- where'd I see that one befo-o-ore?.." She remembered Rainbow Dash howling with an almost exactly same laughter, back when she'd run into her, searching for Twilight. "Yes, I do remember, thank you a lot! Now, if you would kindly shake Her Majesty back to her royal senses, please!" "Who? -- gave Twilight a start. -- Me?" "No, Twilight, the One Behind It All!" "Who?" "No! The One Behind It All is not Who, silly head! Can't you tell 'em apart? You're supposed to run a library!" "Pinkie, what!.. Huh-h-h, Pinkamena Diana Pie, please, stop screwing with my mind! Who's the one behind this all?" "No!" A pause followed. Then Twilight asked, confused out of her skull: "What??!" "Neither!" "...Pinkie!.." "NO! Do I look like the One Behind It All?? He's not even a pony!.." "Pinkie, I am dead serious here right now. You had better stop goofing around and, please, help me to fix all this insanity, or you are no friend of mine any further, ya hear!!!" Wow! That's a lot for one to take upon himself, no kidding! "O-o-oh-h-h my!.. -- interrupted them Princess Luna, having somewhat caught her breath and still panting heavily. -- By our sister... Twilight!.." "Please, Your Majesty! -- pleaded Pinkie, concerned, -- breathe and choke with laughter not, for Equestria shall not bear its princess' penetration!" "Wow, Pinkie, -- noted Twilight, amazed, -- where'd you learn such royal a language from?" "Thou hast no idea, Twilight..." -- muttered Pinkie thoughtfully, smiling brightly afterwards. Twilight did not succeed in holding it in and burst out giggling, and then cackling too. And did the merry laughter fill the boring plane of the unknown material under the square moon! And did it echo throughout the land, and there did be much happiness and fun! "Ah! -- sighed Twilight contentedly. She was lying on her back, relaxed, filled not with determination, but with mirth, a happy smile on her face. -- Have I told you, how happy I feel right now!" "Sure, Twilight! -- answered Pinkie, lying near her head to head, the angle between their bodies obtuse. -- I would be lying, if I told you hadn't". "But thou art lying, Pinkie", -- made Luna a notion absent-mindedly. Her Majesty did not disdain lying along with her subjects, not after she had had such hearty two lungfuls of laughter watching one of said subjects rip reality to pieces, then freak out because of it, and then... Well, suffice it to say, she had seen Twilight's misadventures from above. Despite her mood Twilight could not help but cringe ever so slightly at Pinkie's extremely bad pun. Her smile did not falter, however, for her tired brain could not worry itself and work up over anything that could nag at her overly logical mind. Her discovery been made known, she felt she deserved her time to be relaxing. With Pinkie, no less. And with Princess Luna. Strange, she thought. Reality did turn out to be a mere illusion, but not the kind of an illusion she would've expected... "Well, most definitely was it an entertainment to, how ye say, "hang out" with you, but, alas, it is our time to set the moon, -- decreed the lunar princess, as everyone got up. -- Therefore we must leave you". "But, Princess Luna-a-a!" -- whined Pinkie, as a filly would. Twilight only chortled upon this: "Pinkie, it really is time for us to wake up". "But, Twilight! WHERE ELSE CAN YOU HAVE SO MUCH FUN!!!" Twilight only smiled: "Where else, if not out of beds!" "But we are out of beds!" -- answered Pinkie to her. "Huh?" "Yeah, if we were in beds... -- she paused, intrigue intensifying, -- ...would we stand on top of this rock?.." Princess Luna seemed to have caught what Pinkie was trying to say, and tried to stifle giggles with a hoof. "Pinkie, -- came out Twilight's reply a bit flatly. -- We are standing on top of this... -- she knocked her hoof a couple of times on the unknown material this plane was made of. -- Well, whatever this is. What is it, anyway?" "Why, Twilight! -- grinned Pinkie so widely Twilight all stiffened up internally. -- Isn't it obvious?! We are out of beds, because we are not inside this... bedrock!" Twilight's face fell in an unsatisfied fashion, as yet another "rim-shot" rang out above the plane of bedrock, while Princess Luna gave up on trying to stifle her laughs and guffawed openly now. "Yes, it is time for us to go", -- muttered Twilight, as she lifted her fallen face and reattached it to its rightful place. As the lunar princess finally calmed down and got ready to perform the waking, Twilight glanced at the world around her for the last time: "I will miss my discovery", -- she whispered. "Do not, Twilight! -- cheered her Pinkie. -- Just imagine, how much fun we could have all together, when we wake up!" "But I wish I'd really made a discovery! Pinkie! Do you realise the time I'd spent researching this subject?!" -- exclaimed she. "Oh, worry not, my nerdy friend!" "I am not "nerdy"!" -- muttered Twilight under her breath, a slight frown clouding her face features. Pinkie just smiled, finding her frown all too adorable. Were any shippers here... But that won't happen. Not in this story, anyway. "Get prepared, o ye ponies, to meet the real reality! -- announced Princess Luna. -- May your mood remain as good, as can be, from the sun's rise till its setting! -- she activated her horn, which glowed bright white. -- So end this bizarre dream and start a new morning!" SPELL ACTIVATED! * The bright white light enveloped everything one could see. All visible things faded into it. * Everypony felt themselves losing the grip on reality... * No more could they see. No more perceive. * Instead they felt themselves having to make up, what was happening and going to happen. * That was the feeling one might get upon their waking up... TSSSSSHHHHSHHHHPTS! Twilight flickered her eyes open slowly. Before her sight came a vision of a desk, littered with scrolls, books et al.. For some time she stayed rested at the desk, until she finally tore her head off it and shook it. Yes, it was a desk. Her desk, to be precise. She turned and looked around: she was in her library. "Huh?.." Was it really... just... a dream? Dazed, she'd sit like this, in a strange trance, Celestia knows for how long... Her train of thought was interrupted, however, when a baby dragon came in. He was muttering something and carrying some items needed for his chores. Upon seeing Twilight up he turned his attention to her and exclaimed with a bright face: "Oh, hi, Twilight, good morning! Man! Here I thought you'd be sleeping till the sunset! -- and he approached her. -- Man, you must be hungry, aren't you? Are you OK? You stayed up so long last night! I'd thought, you'd have worked yourself... down to the head-bone!" -- as he said that, trying to hide his grin, he pointed at her unicorn horn. At the mention of her "head-bone" Twilight flinched: "Spuh... S-Spike! D... did ya... really? Just make... that pun?" -- she asked, incredulous and a bit suspicious. There had to be NO way puns still were trying to plague her life like that! All Spike did was laugh: "Ha-ha! Cheer up, Twilight! -- he cried out. -- Why don't you go take a rest from aw-w-all these books, huh? C'mon, Twi! Since when haven't you been outside recently?" -- he made to take a grip on her and to lead her to the door. "Spike! -- tried Twilight to interrupt him. -- A breakfast should be nice, shouldn't it?" At this Spike stopped with a start and said, embarrassed: "Oh, y-yeah, right! I'm on my way!" -- and he zipped to the kitchen. Meanwhile Twilight took her time to wrap her head around what had happened. She looked at the scroll she'd been napping on. Written on it were the very words she remembered herself to write down: "Therefore reality, as we perceive it, might not be what it seems to be..." Did... did that mean?.. "Here's your breakfast!" -- zipped Spike in with a meal. "Thanks..." -- thanked him Twilight absent-mindedly, as a thought was ringing through her head: "Does that mean, I was making a research on it?" As she ate her breakfast, she flipped through her endless notes, all on the subject of reality's possible unreality. There even was a spell sample to demonstrate its feebleness... "No way! -- Twilight thought to herself. -- I... I!.. I must be going insane!" After she finished her meal, she decided first-hoof to test the spell out to see, if it really worked. As Spike had told her, she went out. Poniville was hustling and bustling, as the normal life was going on. Everything normal, nothing unusual. Finally Twilight found a not so much crowded place to test her spell. There was a reason she chose for less ponies to witness this. She wasn't really sure herself, if anything she'd dreamt of was actually real events taking place. Tell she about it all -- would anypony actually believe her? She unfolded the slip of paper containing the spell and prepared to put it to the test. What would come out of it?.. "Well, -- she muttered through her teeth, -- come what may..." -- Her horn flashed: "Here goes nothing!.." But before it started to show any signs of working... "Hi-i-i the-e-ere, Twi-i-ili-i-ight!!!" Twilight only registered, she was tackled to the ground by somepony with a shrill voice. And a pink puffy mane. "Oh, Twilight! Can you belie-e-eve what I dreamt this morning about!" -- Pinkie all but shone with excitement, her smile finding few room on her face, so big it was. Surprisingly, she wasn't ranting. Twilight even took an appropriate pause, before finally asking, a bit annoyed: "Let me guess, Pinkie. Were there puns in this dream?" "Yes!" -- elicited Pinkie excitedly. "Her Lunar Majesty?" "Yes!!" "Me freaking out?" "Yes!!!" Twilight paused, trying to remember anything else... "I had exactly same things too". "Well! Guess what!!!" -- yelled Pinkie out. Then began waiting expectantly. ... Finally Twilight gave in: "Ye-e-es, Pinkie?" "You. Aren't. Gonna... BE-LIE-E-EVE IT!!! -- truly did her excitement know no bounds! She got off of Twilight and started bouncing, her eyes closed. -- I may just explode before I even told you what!.." "Pinkie-ie-ie!!! -- screamed Twilight. -- What is it?!" Pinkie stopped her bouncing and opened her eyes: "Too excited to tell! Sorry! He-hee! Just, uh... S-start this spell, m-maybe?" -- she asked, as if disturbed by something. Twilight squinted and tried to find a spark of mischief in those devious blue eyes of her... but found none. She sighed and proceeded to performing the spell again... AND THAT'S HOW TWILIGHT SPARKLE SUMMONED a dog that would annoy every citizen of Equestria for the rest of this story! AND THAT'S ALL, FOLKS! "Wai-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-it!!!" Out of nowhere Pinkie Pie appeared and stared at somepony inexistent... "Don't you behave like you're not here! -- tried she talking to no one. -- I know, what you did!" -- and she continued staring angrily at... urm... someone?.. Which... she was accusing?.. -- "You won't bear to write this nonsense all over again! -- she spoke very slowly, stretching her words. -- Because you're tired!" -- a pause. -- "WILL YOU STOP DOING THAT?! I'm trying to monologue here! Hello-o-o! Your narration only disrupts it and makes it sound, like YOU are NOT part of the story!!! [taking breath] Anyway... As I was about to say: you think, you may just LEAVE it all?!.. Leave the story hanging?!" Look, Pink... "No, you look here, Mr The One Behind It All!" -- but that was all she could force herself to say... No matter, how hard she tried to speak... Mwa-ha-ha! Words won't leave her mouth! "M-m-m! M-m-m!!!" -- muffled screams of indignation could be heard. But were they really to be meaningful? If anyone remembers, wasn't the second chapter spent trying to get the story back on track, huh?.. Pinkie made to proceed resenting... but then remembered something: "Yeah, ri-i-ight, it sure was!" Then... obviously... i-it is unwise to make this story longer, than it is going to turn out to be?.. Right?.. Pinkie looked with puppy-dog eyes. She, um... She's clearly unsatisfied... But... w-well... What can be done? Can anything?! Is this story really just to make Pinkie happy?! What about "Sad" or "Tragedy" stories?!! ARE THEY REALLY NOT AN OPTION?!!!.. ...Meh. Was worth a shot, though... "No, I mean, it's OK, I-I j-just... -- hey, did that pony just speak??! -- Uh... Um... w-w-well, y-y-yes, I-I m-mean... I w-won't, if... -- she sniffed. -- ...G... go ahead and... -- another sniff, -- ...d-do it!.. W-why wontcha, huh?" -- damn, sometimes a narrator just can't do their job! Why, oh, why can't they just hug and comfort a sad pony?! "W-why, th-th-thank y-you, M-mis... ter!" -- another sniff -- and no more narration! Come here!.. "Hello?.." Twilight Sparkle looked around, confused. Had... had nothing changed?? Incredulous, she stared at everything around her and tried to figure out, what had happened. Reality did not seem to be any different from what she'd observed. "Huh. W-well... -- the words wouldn't come. -- O-one more... time?.. I guess?.." But, before she could even try to proceed to spell-casting... "Oink!" -- honestly, that was supposed to be a chortle. A very grunting chortle. As if someone had been trying to stifle it... "Whee! Whee!" -- now it was a literal pig squeal... Eh-heh-heh!.. B-before it actually started to resemble a normal laughter... Yeah, "normal"... Words will do no justice here to the live sound of this... erm... yeah, beautiful laughter! To say, someone was dying of it, would be just plain amateurish. No, that someone was literally rolling on the ground, breathing in a broken breath, unable sometimes to properly inhale, stopping breathing for a couple of lo-o-ong seconds; then extruding yet another squeal of hearty laughter!.. ...Uh. L-l... let us stop here and now, before this story loses its narrator!.. Eh-heh-heh-heh... Heh... heh. ... ... . . . T-Twilight turned to look around and see, who that could possibly be -- only to find... "P??!.. Princess Luna??!!!" The poor princess had been exhausted. She lay with a smile stretched, tired. Internally, however, she was still laughing! If there had been a laughter hell... Poor Princess, let's end her sufferings! Akhem-khem, that is, when this story ends, which will end, when Twilight... uh... well, let's proceed, shan't we? Eh-heh-heh!.. A-a-anywa-a-ay!.. There is no telling, how close Twilight was to giving an actual screen of death! She threw the slip with the spell hard to the ground (which succeeded somehow despite it being just a piece of paper...) and started to stomp it. Whoa, Twilight!.. She then picked it up with her magic and incinerated it. Then resurrected it and burnt it again. And again. And again! And again... And... OK, Twilight, please, stop it now. "A-a-ah-h-h!!!" -- was Twilight screaming, ready to take it no more. Oops! She then literally blew on the spot... Er, ex... cuse?.. "Oh my Celestia-a-a! -- managed Her Majesty to shriek, then somehow to get a hold of herself. -- That sure was an entertainment, no kiddin'!" -- as she was saying that, she... ... ... SHE. TOOK. A DISGUISE. OFF... ...Applejack. For this whole time... this was Applejack?! "Huh, welp, Twah-ilight, are ya satisfah-ied with what ya got, eh? -- asked Applejack with a mild smirk on her freckled face. -- Dinn't Ah-i tell ya Ah-i had somethin' up mah-y Stetson or what? Heh, so much for the "reality's an illusion" thing, I guess?" And with that she proceeded to her unfinished work. ...But wait! Reality's been a dream, and the real reality!.. Is it?.. WHAT IS IT??! ...Twilight woke up. In her library. Yet again. "And why have I a feeling, that I am still dreaming somehow?.." -- asked she, not really surprised. She hopped onto her hooves and walked to the table. This time she woke up in her bed, which probably meant something. Or didn't. On the table still was all that paper stuff from before. Here was her research... Here was the spell... "No, -- she said simply and pushed it away angrily. -- Just NO! No more "reality", thanks!" -- she spat. "What was that, Twilight?" -- came in and asked her a sleepy Spike, yawning. "Say, Spike... -- began Twilight, somewhat creepily. -- What if I told you... reality was a mere illusion?" "Be it what it may, Twilight, if you ask me, -- grumbled Spike. -- Did you even sleep? Just look at yourself!" Twilight wouldn't bother herself and do as told... but she really had a look of a mare that hadn't had enough sleep. And so had Spike, though not a look of a mare. Because he was a dragon. "Spike, listen: if "reality" is just an illusion... then how about I zap you?!" "Huh?! -- gave Spike a start. -- Twilight! W-wait! Y-you're tired! Y-you've got to get some sleep!" But Twilight was already charging her horn... "No-o-o!" -- screamed Spike and took off. "Oh, Spike, no, you don't!" -- shook her head Twilight, giving chase. ...Then she stopped. An even more brilliant idea visited her mind: "Oh! I must be really going insane! -- and she laughed. As if crazed. Boy!.. -- Why should I zap Spike??!" "Yeah, you shouldn't zap me, Twilight! -- peaked Spike from outside warily. -- What you should is probably get some sleep! -- and he entered the room he had left, carefully approaching a frazzled Twilight. -- Please... -- he put his claw over her shoulder, -- go with me, won't you?" Silence. "Uh, Twilight?" "Should I really go?.." -- asked Twilight, her voice even more crazy, than before. "Um... y-yes?" "I should really... -- having said that, she moved, apparently into her bedroom, -- ...really zap myself INSTEAD!" Which she did. With an audible "zap!". "NO!!! TWI-I-ILI-I-IGHT!!!.." * WORRY NOT, FOLKS! TWILIGHT DID NOT ELIMINATE HERSELF! * WHAT SHE DID WAS MERELY AN ILLUSION... * NO. * INSTEAD OF AN ILLUSION HOW ABOUT... [Twring!] * ...FICTION? FICTION... SHATTERED?.. To my most faithful student. Dear Twilight! Heart full of sorrow and regret, I, Princess Celestia, your -- I dare hope -- good friend and the elder sister to Princess Luna, am writing these lines to express my most inexpressibly deep and sincere regrets toward your unutterable misadventures! From now on it is with the most watchful eye, that I shall supervise up to the smallest drop the amount of cider or anything able to substitute for it (for the purpose of inebriation prevention), which my sister should take at any given period of joining any festivity involving beverages of varying degrees of hardness. Should she, if ever, take a dose of such inebriating a beverage outside aforementioned festivities' scope, I shall make absolutely sure (be it allowed for me to drop the formal writing for a moment, Twilight), that she should be properly supervised as well. In any case, my hope is, you have not suffered anything I should regret more, than I can bear. Your dreams shall henceforth be kept impenetrable for any instance of what could strike you as "illogical" of any degree, lest your mind "get screwed" (please, forgive my writing, I am pissed off at my sister!). Your dreams, as per last sentence up to this point herein, shall be under aforementioned decree, until any new considerations by me and/or those I will be keeping my trust to take aforementioned considerations in are taken (worry not, Twilight, to put it simply, aforementioned decree is not forever and only to repay you for your recent misadventures, which arose from... well, as a princess, I must be precise and impeccable legal-wise... Sorry). My castle is always open to you (for the purpose of hospitality)! I will look forward to seeing you and talking to you personally, and I wish you to get well! So be it! With best regards, Princess Celestia. P. S.: Sister will get punished, worry you not! It shouldn't have been screwed with your mind like that! P. P. S.: I wish I had been there! Sister drunk or not, I am never to pass up an opportunity to celebrate with my subjects and friends! P. P. P. S.: Don't tell Luna I said I wanted to have joined! P. P. P. P. S.: Forget it... THAT'S ALL, FOLKS! Author's Note So, yes, Her Lunar Majesty did have her share of fun in all this... what even WAS this, ANYWAY??! ...Ahem-ahem, so, she has screwed with both Twilight's and ours minds... But she had been tipsy, what do you want from me? It is a great get-together time partying with subjects/friends, is it not? In A-A-ANY case! Did you, guys, enjoy reading this? Did you laugh? Do you want a friendship lesson? Do you see a lesson in here?? Randomness, randomness, may you not screw with our minds! I wish I could say, I had been smoking weed while writing the reality-shattered part... Because I most certainly didn't! So why is it even so... brain-cooking? I don't know it myself! There are references throughout this whole thing! Can you find them all? Some puns were said before I did by Merrelltwins in their "The punny life" videos (for the purpose of copyright). Unless they, as the creators and original publishers of the videos, state otherwise, I may have these puns used. Should, if ever, litigation arise, each party will have the right to defend their use (and prohibiting such use, if applicable) of the aforementioned videos' contents. (Still writing like Celestia would... And I'm not even a lawyer! Nor have I studied Law!..)
Hear out my discovery!It was night time in Poniville, home of Twilight Sparkle (that's the slogan, right? Just kidding). As a custom, this town's citizens had been off to sleep. Not as to displease Luna, the night princess, of course. Yet there still was one house, in which lights were still on: a library. Not just any library, mind you! That was the Poniville library, home to Twilight... Wait, haven't we seen this one before? Oh, yes, we have! Perhaps, it is about time to tell, who this Twilight Sparkle was: she was Her Majesty Princess Celestia's best student in Friendships. What? Yes, they had such a subject... Why, since Her Majesty Princess Celestia had decided, in order to prevent her ancient enemy, Nightmare Moon, from establishing a night eternal, to send her very best student to go make some friends! And, long story short, she did make some and decided to stay in Poniville. So, despite the night time the lights in the library were still on... What?! No, the tale of Twilight defeating Nightmare Moon is a completely other story! Now, please, stop interrupting! Anyway! Twilight was in her library, studying. "Phew! Boy, it's night time already? Well... Proceed onward!" That's right, she liked studying. Anything, actually, but mostly magic. Just this morning she found a rather interesting subject to, figuratively speaking, sink her teeth into. ""...therefore reality, as we perceive it, might not be what it seems to be..." How interesting!" She quickly jotted that passage down along with the other important things she had jotted. "It appears, the whole world may be not what we see it as! Oh, I'd better have everything it says about it recapitulated! On the other hoof... It would be a nice idea to get some sleep. Getting up lately becomes all the more unfun thing to do". She chuckled slightly at the word she just used. ""Unfun", huh? Guess, that's what Pinkie might come up with. That's right, Pinkie! Need to see her and to spend some quality time with her! Boy do I need to take a rest from all these books and to relax!" She put her quill down, then stood up and stretched: "But I must finish this research! Who knows, what incredible possibilities this world may hide!" And so she returned to digging into the subject. The more she studied, the more interesting and more engaging it seemed. It was well past anypony's bedtime, that Twilight finally got satisfied with what she'd discovered. "A-a-ah! -- she yawned. -- Well, I'm done for today. Or, maybe, it is "for yesterday"? Ha-ha, no time to waste, better be off to bed!" She made to go to bed, but then stopped and stood for a second without moving, as she repeated the very essence of what she'd learnt: "Reality is all but an illusion... albeit an awfully persistent one". With these words said she trotted to bed. And so the night passed. Celestia woke up and raised her sun. The morning began. The library's door slammed open, and out sprung an eager Twilight: "OK, my dear friends! Here I come!" -- with those words said she was off. Alright, WHAT IS IT THIS TIME?!! Huh? So, you want to know... Well, OK, first, there are two princesses as of this tale's events: the day one and the night one! Second, was it not said to you, that Twilight lived in the library?! Huh? YES, HER HOME WAS A LIBRARY, AND THE LIBRARY WAS HER HOME! NOW KEEP SILENT!!! ...Uh-h-h, and go watch the origin, why won't you?.. Called "My little pony: Friendship is magic"!.. Um, now... As Twilight trotted through the streets of Poniville, she kept looking every way for her friends. "Come out, my friends! Where are you?" -- she murmured under her breath. At such rates it was going to be a long time, before she found one. Her determination unwavered, Twilight kept trotting onwards, not even noticing, Pinkie had been trotting alongside her for some time now. When she did register somepony's hooves clopping along with hers -- well, does one need telling quite what a surprise she was in for? Screeching to a halt, eyes round and directed at her sudden stalker, she yelped: "Gah! Pinkie?!" Coming to a stop as well, Pinkie replied to Twilight with a hoof-waving, eyes closing from joy: "Hiya, Twilight! What's up?" "Pinkie! I'm looking for somepony to tell what a great discovery I made just this night... and you've been following me for this whole time?!" "Uh-huh! I was just hopping through the streets of Poniville, looking, if any of my friends was out there looking for something -- and whatdaya know? I saw you doing just that! Nice guess, huh? So I up and approached you and decided to help you in your searches! Because, if two do it, it's twice as faster, isn't it? No? Well, that's what I thought, at least. So, I repeated every move you did in hopes to help you to reduce the amount of time needed... Wait. I should be saying "to save time", "to spend less time" or what? Huh... What is with my speech pattern today? Is someone out there trying to force me to speak this way?.." Uh-h-h... "...because, if there is... for example, I dunno... a guy with a quill!" He-he-hee! "...or some other means of writing stuff about pony lives, like... Uh, well, Twilight, do you know of any good writers, who write about pony lives?" "Uh-h-h... Perhaps... in the library you could find some information about what you nee..." "Oh, right, library! By-y-ye!" A-a-and with that said Pinkie zapped off to the library's direction. Phew! "Urgh! Why, when I need my friends, they just bam! and disappear?" -- grumbling, Twilight turned and made her way back to the library again. However, when she finally made it there, out of the doors jumped a slightly pissed-off... Uh-oh! "...like A. K. Yearling, for example!.. Boy, Twilight, you sure do have a lot of those!" At that T-twilight seemed n-not able to find a-any words t-to respond with: P-Pinkie's b-behaviour was a-as strange, as P-Pinkie herself. So she s-stopped in her tracks, looking j-just that: confused -- watching this little p-pink menace g-glare at s-somepony, who w-wasn't even supposed t-to be there. Oh, wait, no, she's at ease, as friendly, as can be, for she was speaking to Twilight directly. What a relief to have her calmed down and to be safe out of trouble!.. "...then I'll make sure it can't even lift up a quill any more!" -- resumed Pinkie with an angry face. Dang! And, w-whatever she was going t-to do... it seemed not to be... very pleasant! No!.. "Pinki-i-ie!" "Ye-e-es, Twilight?" -- the little pink menace looked up at Twilight with a bright and happy face, her eyelids batting a couple of times, as if nothing unpleasant and, no doubt, d-deadly of a sort was just about to happen! "Would you be so kind as to just stay still for a whole minute and listen to me?!" "Sorry, Twilight... I've got a meanie-pants to take care of!" -- she said, a bit too menacingly for anypony's liking... Or anybody's, for that matter. Holy cow, let's hope for the best. Let's hope for the best! "I can just feel it whining, curled in a ball!.." -- she said very threateningly; she'd make for a good hunter with that way of saying things... On a side note: up to this point this story most definitely does NOT contain anyone bawling and curled in a ball! Let's say it with a strong emphasis put on it: no one! "Sure, no one likes it, when they're called a crybaby..." Ya think?! "But let's just face it..." "Ur-r-rgh!" Twilight just made a turn and, with her face full of utter frustration, headed in the common direction of her friends' possible locations: "And to think, I wanted to visit her lately! She doesn't even want to listen to me! Ur-r-rgh, Pinkie! Whomever should I find to get rid of all of this frustration this insane mare brings me to experience?!" Eliciting one more grunt (or was it two?), Twilight was going away from this... little pink menace!.. N-no, rather from this aggravatingly frustrating... urgh, don't even wanna talk about how much it aggravates me! That is what Twilight was thinking, as she resumed her searches for somepony to listen to her incredible discovery she made all by herself! Thinking of those eyes filled with excitement!.. Those ears absorbing every sound she'd make out! It filled her with equal excitement... and determination! "...W-well. Seems, like, whoever was messing up with Pinkamena Diana Pie, is gone. Ah, well! So, Twilight, what was it you wanted to say to me?" Seeing no one in vicinity, Pinkie frowned a little: "Huh... I was sure, I had seen Twilight passing by... What happened, anyway? Uh-h-h..." Yeah, let's hope, she'll know (or even better, she won't), what happened, by the point we reach the end of the tale of Twilight's great discovery! Little does she know... that this tale is anything but about her no doubt great discovery! Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha-a-a! "Hey! I sense an evil laughter not far away from here! I'd better warn Twilight!!!" -- a-a-nd she's off to somewhere... We-e-ell, we'd better be heading to the opposite direction she went in. Who wants to mess with her speech pattern again, huh? For, if there were someone, not necessarily a pony, who had an incredible ability to control the flow of whatever is going on... and it's not to say there is such a being! But... if there were one! A little chance of that happening, but if... If only it were true... then this being would be just as scared of Pinkie's unsettling ability to see past the common conventions of storytelling, as just about anypo... "Aha! I knew it was somewhere close to here! Alright, little buddy, be not afraid! Come out, come out, where-e-e-e-ever you are-e-e!" She scanned her surroundings. Nothing. Nopony moved. "Come on, little buddy! Ponies are nice! Are you a pony? Or... aren't you?" Ah, darn it! She's getting close! "I won't hurt you. I've been taking lessons from Fluttershy on approaching wild animals". Wait, when? "Ha! Gotcha!" -- with that said she leapt in a random direction, as if to ca-woa-ha-a-atch! Someone! But... woah! There was... nobody, nobody there!!! Phew! "Huh? I was pretty sure, there was someone!" -- but nobody answered. Seriously, nobody to search here for. Ha-ha-ha!.. "Well... If there did be a sneaking someone!.. He'd better watch out!" -- with that said Pinkie, eyes half-closed, looking ominously, retreated step by step, until she disappeared out of view. Meanwhile, as Pinkie tried to catch an inexistent someone (who epically didn't get caught by her ominous pink hooves and is still shuddering just thinking about what, if he had...), Twilight was far away from the pink mena... frustration in disguise! -- hoping to find some of her friends. Luckily enough, she didn't need to wait for long: "Oh, Fluttershy, wait!" The shy pegasus didn't seem to need Twilight to tell once more: "Gah!" That was a particularly loud "gah!", not one she elicited very often. Only in those cases she was especially caught off guard. "Oh, sorry, Fluttershy! I didn't mean it! How are you?" "F... fine, I guess..." -- seeming very unconfident and most definitely not brave enough to stop shivering, Fluttershy rose to her unsteady hooves, not even looking directly at Twilight, still shocked. "Fluttershy, listen! Just this night I discovered something so-o-o incredible!.. -- at this Twilight squealed. -- So incredible! I don't even know, if I'll be able to unload it all before you in a huge pile, before I just explode!" And Fluttershy didn't like explosions. Nor did she like piles of information unloaded before her in an even huger pile thereof. Especially if such information required her being the centre of the unloader's attention! So... "Eek! No, Twilight, listen... Uh-h-h, I don't mean to stop you, so if you like... but..." "OK, great! -- said Twilight with an almost insane grin plastered on her face. Geez, she's excited alright! -- So..." -- she gasped for air, for she'd need that, when she unloads all of the knowledge she'd gathered so far... Only there wasn't so much of a knowledge. "Eh-h-h, I might have left my notes back in the library, but basically -- reality's an illusion, and... well, yeah, and... H-how do I put it... Uh-h-h..." Fluttershy, eyes shut tightly and face turned away of the expected source of explosions, huge piles of information and most unwanted attention, cracked one of her eyes open to make sure there wasn't going to be any of listed above. As soon, as it appeared she'd been right, she got enough courage to face Twilight, some slight confusion on her face. For some reason the onslaught seemed to have been delayed... "Uh... Well, Twilight, if you don't mind, I... yes. I'll be... off. I was... going to... well, some place, so... Um, well, I-I will be sure to check you later. That is, if... you'd like. Well... Um, yeah... I'm so sorry I didn't get to listen to you, but... just not now! Please?" With that she was off, quickly gaining distance. "F... Fluttershy! Wait! I... I almost remembered! Urgh, no, I didn't. -- she stomped her hoof. -- Oh, Celestia forgive me, I'm going to blow on the spot!" And Celestia forgave her, for she loved her little pony. Even if Twilight didn't blow. Not on the spot. Not somewhere else some time later. Not at all. Despite all that she forgave her. She even chuckled at her little outburst (even if she couldn't actually observe her at her little moment for reasons not covered in this book, for they are obvious to anyone, who's reading it. Seriously, she's far away at her castle in Canterlot, it doesn't take someone as smart, as Twilight, to understand that! Speaking of whom...). Fuming with angry discontent (to put it mildly!), she set off to one direction she knew: somewhere her friends might happen to be. And that wasn't somewhere she knew... All of this frustration: from Pinkie for acting agoof (she chuckled; Pinkie would be glad for such a silly-vanilly word... Uh-h-h... Still!), from Fluttershy for being... well, herself, but, damn it all nonetheless! -- and from herself for forgetting the very basics -- all of it clearly called for some sort of relaxation. But first she'll get to the library and learn by heart every little ink blotch she made writing her research, every single molecule of that stupid paper... papers, to be precise! She won't be unprepared for such an apocalypse any once in the future! No. Not again! "Well, my, my, darling! Why do you seem to be so blue today?" "You know I'm purple, Rarity!" -- snapped Twilight at very conveniently passing by Rarity. Wait... Rarity? "Oh dear, Twilight! That would simply not do!" "Rarity, listen! I... Actually, I have to get back to the library... and learn all of what I discovered, by heart... every single letter and... every single curve... Why". She couldn't say it more flatly. It wasn't even a question -- something between "just tell me why and bother me not" and a desperate "oh why, heavens, why??!". Rarity, having as sharp eyes, as she had, didn't need any more words or gestures. She understood immediately. "Come on, go with me!" "And then I'd need to find you... You... coming along with me?.. To... watch me learn?.. Or we'll just... uh..." -- she could obviously not think straight -- so frustrated she was. And desperate. And tired... And... "Now, come on with me, dearie. You won't simply learn anything new today!" "It's not new, Rarity, it's... well, yes, I'll learn it anew... No, I won't. I don't want to. Please, I just want to..." -- and then she just did what she intended to say: slumped to the ground. "Now, now, darling! -- tutted Rarity at her. -- Get up. Now! Come on!" -- she lifted her back on her hooves. Not wanting, Twilight, eyes half-closed, head hanging low, did as told and went -- albeit with Rarity's help -- to where she was leading her to --... ...-- to the SPA! "Huh? A SPA? Why'd I need one?" "Not another word from you, until you get that bath full of... Lotus, what is it with today?" "Today it's with fragrant rose petals, Miss". "See? You'll like it! And I don't take a "no" as an answer!" "Rarity..." -- tried Twilight again, but failed. Rarity got her to take a relaxing bath... can't say she was ungrateful for that, nope. Not for a million libraries, each full of a million books, each on a million subjects (if that's even possible!), would she end up not thanking Rarity for that relaxation... How relaxing!.. Uh? Oh, yes, right. "So tell me, dearie, -- said Rarity, as both of them were relaxing in a hot bath, aforementioned fragrant rose petals' smell helping this even more, -- what disturbed you today?" "Well, everything. Everything, Rarity! -- despite all the help from the bath Twilight still couldn't get frustration out of her heart. -- I learn something new, which is I don't even remember now what! Then I go to find Pinkie! You know what?! She isn't. Even. Listening!" "Uh, darling..." "But screw Pinkie, I've never got to understand her well enough, -- she sighed. -- Can't blame her, even though I am frustrated!" "Darling, please..." "But, again, screw Pinkie! -- another sigh. -- Thought, I would go to her place and relax a bit from my research... Now I don't even remember what I discovered!" "Forgive me, darling, but..." "Rarity, -- exclaimed Twilight, frustration expressed even more so, -- Fluttershy was busy! She didn't want to hear me out as well!" "Well, -- Rarity paused to contemplate, -- did you force her to?" "Almost, but I didn't take my notes with me, so... she ran away". A pause settled for a while. Then Twilight was about to resume her venting: "To sum it up, I was the one to blame, but Pinkie!.." "Yes, darling, uh... Pinkie..." "Oh, I am frustrated even thinking of her right now!" "Which is quite inconvenient, darling". "Why so, Rarity?" -- asked Twilight, slightly irritated. "Well, she's standing right here, beside us, and..." "Who? -- Twilight snapped her head in every direction, suddenly noticing, there was a new person present. -- Pinkie?.." "Why, duh-uh-h, Twilight! I'm right beside you, no need to even apologise for gossiping about some of my, may I notice, everyday quirks, like it's something new you encountered just this day". The speech was dry, even too dry for somepony so cheerful and upbeat (if that can be applied to a pony, that is), as Pinkie. Twilight was afraid to even think, what she might have done to break such a lovely friend! "Uh... Hi there, P-Pinkie..." -- started Twilight, unsure. "Why, hello there, Twilight Sparkle", -- replied Pinkie calmly. Twilight felt herself getting more nervous: "N-nice weather it is today outside, isn't it?.." "Why, yes, the weather today is quite charming for my liking. What do you say, Rarity?" "Uh, Pinkie, is everything OK? Because it seems to me..." -- Rarity was unsure, what to say. "Oh, no-no-no, everything is just fine, if I do say so myself", -- went on Pinkie, completely failing to notice the look on her friends' faces, which clearly spoke confusion and slight terror at Pinkie's well-mannered and so uncharacteristic speech pattern. Which can only mean one thing. It is happening again! Oh no! Celestia, why? "Pinkie Pie, darling, are you absolutely sure you are alright? You don't appear... yourself any more", -- offered a concerned Rarity. "M-m-m, -- contemplated Pinkie Pie. -- Now, that you mention it, I do ever so slightly speak... uh... not my way. I don't usually speak like that! But why is this all happening? Again!" "Again? -- Rarity showed her surprise. "Yeah, it happened to me before. When I spoke to Twilight just this morning". "Yeah, that was exactly what I got frustrated about. Sorry, Pinkie!" -- cried out Twilight suddenly and got out of the tub to step closer to her friend, hugging her as soon, as she reached her. "Uh, -- Pinkie remained stunned for some time, but then gently smiled and returned the hug. -- Oh, it's OK, Twilight, always do you get mad at me, and always do I find it really adorable!" -- she hugged her once more, tighter this time. "Oh, Pinkie!.." -- cried Twilight tears of relief, joy and whatever, you decide, it's hard to write so lately at night... Oh, sorry. "Hm? -- Pinkie sniffed the air (oh Celestia...). -- Oh! I sense it again!" "What?" -- exclaimed Rarity and Twilight. "That sneaking someone I sensed before! -- she made it a point to emphasise the words "sneaking someone" with her grudge to said someone in her voice, almost hissing it, as she said it. -- Oh, they must be the one, who got my speech pattern jammed!" Sorry, Pinkie! Sincere apologies coming your way! Please, accept them! "But who might it be, Pinkie?" -- asked Rarity. Of course she wouldn't know, she's not Pinkie. "That's the one controlling everything that happens! -- exclaimed she (oh Celestia, no!). -- The one always watching! The one..." "Now, Pinkie, dear... -- started Rarity unsurely. -- Whatever is it you're talking about right now?" "I-is it some kind of your... everyday... quirks? -- offered Twilight carefully, lest the Pink One get upset the creepy way again. "No! Whatever they say, happens; whatever happens, does so upon their will; nopony has ever-forever countered them! Not even the Princesses! Oh, I feel like speaking so solemnly! It's not me! He simply doesn't know, how to handle my way of speaking! -- she dropped on the floor and started... uh-h-h... is she... wailing?? While banging on said floor with her forehoof, no less! -- This simply isn't feh-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-heh-heh-h-h-h-h-air!" ...A-a-and she bawled loudly, everypony staring at her in shock. Uh-h-h, sorry, Pinkie... You'll get consoled soon enough! "Well, Pinkie Pie, dearest!" -- exclaimed Rarity, rushing toward her and trying to put her hoof on... her somewhere, anywhere, anything to calm her down! Twilight was right beside her in no time: "Pinkie, please, calm down! We are there for you!" -- she felt tears about to flow from her eyes. Please, Twilight, cry not, for everything's going to get settled! "Oh-h-h... I'll find him!.. -- spoke Pinkie suddenly, not even a trace of a single tear on her face. Uh-h-h... -- I'll find him, and he won't escape me this time! -- she hopped on her fours, face displaying determination... and ferocity!.. Oh-ho! -- For I am Pinkamena Diana Pie, and nopony, even if they are not a pony, gets away with what... -- she faced to some random direction... Uh-oh, wait!.. -- ...YOU!.. YOU'll never get away with what YOU did!!! Not from Pinka... PDP for short!" A-as she was doing whatever the living cupcakes she was doing, everypony engaged in a panic fit. N-no one seemed to understand, what was going on, nor did anyone know, what to do... "Pinkie, you must calm down!" -- cried Twilight, panicked. "Oh, yeah? Is that what YOU want or what The One Behind It All wants?" -- asked Pinkie, venom escaping her lips. "Whom the hay are you talking about?! Discord?" -- Twilight could not follow Pinkie's train of thought. "What? Why?.. Oh, no, that was not supposed to be a reference to that song!" -- cried out Pinkie, frustrated. "What song, Pinkie? -- Rarity joined in. -- Please, frighten us no more! You look scary!" "Well, I!.. Do I?.." "Yes, you do!" -- cried almost everypony present, a few though it might be. "Well... -- Pinkie trailed off. Her eyes darted one direction, then another. -- I... I-I..." Unable to find something reasonable to do, that would help the situation to get clearer, something that could help to fix this unfairness, Pinkie closed her eyes shut, liquid seen where it could escape from-under her eyelids, and bolted outside. Nopony seemed happy about the outcome... Not even The One Behind It All... Not even Discord would be, if he were here. Oh, Pinkie! Where did you go?!.. There had been no trail of Pinkie for quite some time by that point. And still, whoever had seen it all unfold before their eyes, had not left their places. Everyone was shocked. Stunned. Uh-h-h, dictionary, dictionary, where'd you be? "Uh, Twilight?" "Y-yes?" Rarity gave out a sigh: "I don't know, what just happened... I am going to go and console the poor thing. What she's frustrated about, I do not get, but she clearly needs somepony". "Rarity, I feel like it's all my fault! I should have never gotten frustrated over her... whatever it was she was doing!" "Twilight, dear! You have been frustrated today too much! You should not get yourself worried!" "But, Rarity!.." "No. When she feels better, I'll call you. Now, however, please... Try to relax". That said, Twilight, tears in her eyes, complied reluctantly. Satisfied with Twilight, Rarity hurried after the poor pink thing. There was still hope, she'd get Pinkie in her usual cheery shape! May this hope not perish! "Well... -- muttered Twilight, glancing down. -- Everypony's left. Whomever shall I tell about my great discovery?" "We, -- came the voice of the SPA ponies, -- could listen to you, Miss". This still didn't improve Twilight's mood: "Well, I forgot what I discovered, anyway, so does it really matter now?" "Please, worry not, for SPA treatments are on their way!" -- cheered the SPA ponies. Twilight decided just to roll with it: "OK, SPA time it is, then. I need to calm down and relax, anyway..." When done with the SPA, Twilight emerged out of its doors, clearly refreshed, compared to the state she entered there in. "Ah! Boy is it good to visit this place every now and then!" "That's for certain! -- replied Lotus cheerfully to her. -- Be sure to come again soon!" "Will do, girls!" -- Twilight really felt very spirit-lifted. She won't even need to go to Pinkie's to rela... "U-u-ugh! -- she gasped. -- Pinkie! Oh dear, how could I forget!" Saying no more, she dashed to somewhere, hoping to find Pinkie in that general direction. And she would have searched for her, no doubt, had a certain multicolour-maned, light-speed-dashing mare not happened to distract her from above: "Hiya, Twilight! What's up?" "Ugh, -- a gasp again, -- Rainbow Dash, have you seen Pinkie Pie?" -- she asked frantically. "Well... nope, can't say I have, -- replied Dash. -- Why?" Twilight was about to answer, but couldn't find the words she needed. "Well, -- she started. -- I... don't know where to begin from". "Huh? -- raised Rainbow Dash an eyebrow, confusion on her face. -- Why's that?" Twilight opened her mouth, as if to say something, but what could she really say? Unless she somehow read the story she was in... but that wouldn't happen. "Rainbow, if only I could retell you everything that happened to me today! And yesterday! Actually... yesterday I discovered something..." "Well, -- chuckled Dash slightly, -- what did you discover... egghead?" Unfazed by her friend's teasing, though clearly not amused, by the look on her face, Twilight continued: "I wrote everything down, slept for some time and in the morning bolted straight out of the library to tell all of you what I'd discovered". Rainbow chuckled: "Well, and then you met me, the one and only, who, -- here she chuckled some more, -- hovered above... -- she giggled, unable to contain herself. -- ...listening to your telling me about... your great discovery..." Rainbow couldn't hold it in. The whole exchange sounded so-o-o hilarious! Twilight practically was retelling the events, clearly nearing the point, where she'd have to say: "And then I met you, hovering above. You startled me with a "hi there, Twilight!", and I replied: "Hey there, Rainbow Dash, have you seen Pinkie Pie lately? I'm concerned about her for reasons I cannot remember, no matter, how hard I try, and try, as I may, I won't recall why. So, to help me with that, I'd like you to listen to me recall everything that happened. Ahem. Yesterday I was in the library, studying. No matter, how late it would get, I ploughed forward. Determination filled my heart, and excitement filled me up to the brim! So I bolted out of the library the moment the sun rose and..."" "Um-m-m... Rainbow?" -- at this point Rainbow Dash was rolling on the ground, laughing hysterically, the whole imaginary exchange going on, looping and recursing in her head. "Gah-ha-ha-ha-ha!" -- howled she with laughter. "O-okey, I... I'll go and get some... help?" -- with that she trotted uncertainly, not even a little bit sure, what had just happened. "I'll get you help, don't you worry!" -- yelled she back at Rainbow, who only now started to show the signs of recovering: "Ha-hah!.. W-wait... T... Twilight!.. Gah-ha-hah!.." -- she panted, clearly needing some air, despite her being outdoors. Trying not to laugh, she continued panting on, all effort put into shaking this stupid, insanely hilarious image out of her head: "Ha-ha! T-Twilight! Oh, Celestia hold... me-he-hee! Gngh..." Boy, that's one way to express somepony's amusement... Well, while Rainbow Dash was laughing, Twilight couldn't help her in any way, so she'd had better bring somepony in... "Hiya, Dashie! Whatcha laughing at?" "Oh b-boy! He-he-he... Pinkie-he-hee, heh-he-he-help!" Pinkie, who had strangely appeared out of nowhere, watched Dash in slight confusion, head tilted to one side. "Huh. Dashie, what's so funny?" "Ghee-ee-ee..." -- tried to contain herself the Amused One. "Hm-m-m... I'm sensing this again! Somepony's trying to mess with my friends!!!" -- with that an angry expression filled her face, rage sparkling in her eyes... Ah, shoot! "Now, don't you go to anywhere, Mister Meaniepants! Not before you fix everything you've done so far!!!" -- she pawed the ground with her hoof (which should be "hoofed" instead of "pawed" then, since Pinkie had no paws to begin with). "Don't you dare try whatever you're trying to do, Mister! Twice have you defeated me, but now!.. You know what? No! You won't do this! Oh, no, you won't! -- she expressly shook her head to make her point. Geez. -- Not again! -- more head-shaking, much analogous to the one before. Now, does this sound familiar?.. -- Sorry". Having said that, she approached Dash with steady steps and firmly took her by her shoulders and shook her, almost violently. "Heh-he-heh", -- Rainbow Dash's laughter died down a bit... Um, well, a whole lot of bits, actually... Holy cow, Pinkie's so scary right now! Shielding away from her won't suffice! What to do, what to do?! "Oh no, no one's shielding away from anything! Now get everything back on track!!!" O-okey! Well, as Pinkie was raging at whomever she was raging at, Rainbow Dash finally calmed down enough not to try (and not to fail miserably) to hold laughter in herself every moment. "That's better! -- said Pinkie Pie, satisfied. -- Now, did I see Twilight here?" "Oh... -- groaned Dash. -- Oh, Twilight? She was standing right there, but then..." -- she snorted in an incoming laughter fit, memories still a living picture. "Rainbow! -- exclaimed Pinkie, concerned to no end, as her friend was going to fall into the Deadly Pits Of Laughter. -- Oh, no, you DON'T!" -- she bellowed and, taking a firm grip on Rainbow once again, shook her even more violently, than before. "Whoa-oa-oa, Pin-kie! Ee! Ee! Stoh! Oh! Op!" Seeing, as Dash was not laughing maniacally any more (and was not going any time soon, sheesh!), she did stop, putting her down. "What's up, Pink? The hay are you shaking me like a... uh, a maracas?" "Oh, Dashie, you. Won't. Be-lie-e-e-eve it!" -- and Pinkie began to unload all of what had happened since she appeared at her side and saw her laughing uncontrollably: "...and then I said: "Oatmeal?! Are you crazy!.." Oh, wait, where was I?" "Um, where... -- Rainbow wondered. Where indeed? -- I don't know. Weren't you supposed to tell me about whatever you wanted to tell me about?" "Uh? Oh, yeah, right! So, basically I ended up here, obviously summoned by someone's will!.." -- oh, come on! Why did she say that, emphasising the word "obviously" and looking unwelcomingly aside with a frown, no less, possibly at someone, when there wasn't even anybody there, and even if there were... "I know I was, because I appeared here out of nowhere!" At that Rainbow snickered, though not as severely, as before: "Well, heh, Pinkie, were you summoned or not, thanks anyway!" -- she could barely hold herself from going through all of the laughter again, ready to plop down and to laugh her rainbow-coloured mane off, as she recalled what everything had begun with. "Dashie?!" -- asked Pinkie concernedly, expecting Dashie to die of incoming howling. As if. "N-no-no, I-ha-ha, I'm a-alright", -- despite that she couldn't stop chuckles escaping her mouth. Pinkie started to get nervous and ready for a battle with someone, who might be doing it on purpose. Though why would that someone do something like this on purpose? "Please, Rainbow Dash, if you can hold this laughter in, then hold it!" Dash tried. She did. But what comes, when one tries to hold back laughter from memories of something very funny, Pinkie?! "Heh, P-Pinkie, you w-won't belie-he-heeve, just what happened! -- Dash forced out, -- Y... You should have been here!.." "Now, breathe deeply, Rainbow Dash! This will all pass! But, if it won't!.. -- her face once again turned very menacing. And, w-whoever could see that face at t-that moment, p-ponies passing by, f-for example, sh-shied away from her! -- If it won't... I'll make sure it will!" A-and Rainbow Dash tried breathing deeply, for it was her only solution to the problem. It helped. It really did! "Heh, -- one final chuckle escaped her mouth, -- yeah... So, Pink..." -- she almost choked with a laughing fit... "NO!" -- ...but she remembered the technique Pinkie taught her and stayed calm. "Phew-w-w!" "Geez, stop jerking up, whenever I'm about to laugh, Pinkie! I'm not dying or anything". "You almost did, Dashie, -- concern was clear in Pinkie's voice. -- And if you had!.." -- but Rainbow didn't let her finish that thought: "No, I wouldn't, silly! On the second hoof, I possibly could, but..." "See?! He's dangerous! He must be captured and dungeoned, then deprived of everything sweet, and then!.." "Whoa-whoa there, hold your horses! -- at that she giggled silly, but managed to keep it together. -- I have no idea, whom or what you could possibly be talking about right now, but... -- a suppressed snicker. -- ...let me first tell you what T-Twilight did there! Gah! -- laughter was bursting out, but Rainbow stood her ground. -- S-so..." -- she could barely speak at this point again. For a couple of seconds there she struggled to get words out of her throat... but nothing would come out. "D-Dash? -- boy was Pinkie Pie concerned by this moment! -- Remember: keep breathing!" It worked, but Rainbow Dash could still barely express herself, as she was bringing the events up: "...A-and... so she... -- she snorted, almost having reached the climax of her tale, -- ...r... retold... everything, gh... -- Celestia witness, she tried her best to keep from laughing, but, damn... -- Gah! Ha-ha-ha-ha!" Pinkie Pie was giggling silly as well, amused by this scene to no limits, as she grasped the very essence of what had transpired, Dash's laughter helping in almost no way: "O-okey, Dashie, he-he-hee! That sure was a funny thing to happen! -- relieved, that all of this laughter came naturally, she laughed at the silliness of this whole situation. -- Who could have possibly thought, that would have been something that silly!" And words do no justice to how glad she was, that all ended so light-heartedly! "OK, so he's not trying to force you to laugh to his own amusement, after all..." Thanks a lot, Pinkie! Though, whoever she talked about would very appreciate, if she didn't try to screw everything up next time! After all, this tale is not about Pinkie Pie trying to catch an invisible someone, who is said to have abilities beyond anyone's comprehension, but... "Spea-a-aking of which, Dash. Have you seen Twilight? You said, you had seen her, and then... -- she giggle-snorted, -- ...tha-hat ha-ha-had happened! -- she tried to calm herself down. -- Whoo! I am most definitely saving this to my favourites, where all my favourite stuff resides! Jokes, comedy routines and lots and lots of other funny things! Dash, please, could you retell me that, so I could write it down? Dash?" And Dash completely gave up on trying to hold her laughter any more. Had it not been for Pinkie present here and for her ability to be... such a scary pony at some times!.. Rainbow Dash would have choked from laughter by this point -- so hard she laughed! "OK, Dashie, please, I understand, that this is funny... to death!" -- as if somepony had been waiting for this moment, a "rim-shot" (though technically it is not called that) rang out. Pinkie only waved a hoof at somepony, who'd done that, as if to greet. -- "But, please, -- continued she, -- I'm serious, calm the hay down!" -- at this she grabbed her and shook her firmly. Dash honestly tried to calm, but... it was too hilarious to stop, so... [wpoiler]"If you don't, Dashie... -- said Pinkie softly, but with a hint to some unpleasant consequences. -- Then I'm bringing you at my place... to make cupcakes!" Dash didn't need repeating that twice: "What? Did you just say "make cupcakes"?" "Yes! Why?" "You know why... Pinkamena Diana Pie!" "Just PDP will do!" -- smiled she cheerfully. "As much, as I like pranking somepony, -- continued Rainbow Dash, a pang of hurt and a bit of anger in her voice, -- I was definitely not amused by THAT one, Pinkie!" "So-o-orry, Dashie! -- said Pinkie motherly. -- But I meant baking real cupcakes!" "Not up to it, Pinkie! -- grumbled Rainbow Dash. -- Eating -- yes, baking -- for Celestia, no! I had my share!" With that she went to somewhere, Pinkie bouncing after her, tone upset: "Wait! Dashie! Please, tell me, you're not upset, are you? Please! Don't be upset!" With that the two of them disappeared from the view of anypony that could stand at that place and watch them go. What a pity, there wasn't anyone to actually watch them... Well, even if someone did actually watch them... He would definitely be not going to follow them, because he would have slightly more important things to do! Where the hay is Twilight Sparkle?! Twilight had tried asking some ponies for help, but nopony had come. That felt... unpleasant, to say the least. "Gur-r-rh! Why does everything have to be so frustrating today?!" Nopony knew that. Which Twilight was not happy with. "Will somepony at least listen to what I discovered? -- exclaimed she. -- It's not that much to listen to... especially considering, I forgot what it was..." Well, it seemed, as though her yesterday attempts were all but futile. She might as well just get home and try it again. Wait a minute... Get home... "Ugh, -- she gasped, -- of course! I simply need to get back to the library! And get my notes! And then get everypony's attention! Then get some awards for my discovery! Then..." "Afternoon, Twah-i. Mah-inding some of your business, ain'tcha? Well, me too!" Past Twilight passed Applejack, loaded with -- who would have guessed! -- apples, all lying inside a cart. "Applejack! Are you busy?" "Uh... Well... yeah?.." "You've got to help me! Rainbow Dash's dying of laughter, and I simply have to get back to my library and to get my notes, then I'll remember what I discovered last night and will be able to tell all of you about it... Actually, I must console Pinkie, but..." "Oh, don'tcha worry your smart noggin none about that pink pony, Twah-ilight! Ah-i kinda forgot about that... -- she rubbed the back of her head with a forehoof, looking ashamed a bit. -- ...but Ah-i have seen Rarity, and she told me, if Ah-i saw you, Ah-i should tell you, she wanted you to know, that Pinkie's actually betta a lot. So..." "Oh, thank Celestia, she's OK! I got frustrated over her, and then thought, I upset her... but then we made up, anyway, but then she started... something, I don't know... Her speech pattern had been jammed... and then she tried to attack someone, and no one saw whom. And then she just turned upset again, for, apparently, nopony seemed to understand her problem! Oh, Applejack, I feel so compelled to see her! But what about Rainbow Dash? And my notes? Oh, Applejack, you've gotta!.." "A bit busy there, Twah-ilight. Gotta get to the market and sell 'em apples, till the cart's as empty, as a hungry insect's belly!" -- she knit her eyebrows at the mention of insects, for they did spoil the harvest. "But, Applejack, what about me!" Applejack sighed: "OK, Twah-ilight, Ah-i'll see, what Ah-i can do. Ain't sure, where Pinkie Pie is, but do you know where Rainbow is?" "Yes, follow me!" That said, Twilight and Applejack were off. Author's Note Will Twilight finally find a grateful listener? AJ just may be one!.. If nothing goes wrong, that is... Can't be sure with Pinkie around. May she not spoil the narrative!
I've got to get my notes, and then... Wait, where are they?! Oh, never mind, found them.With Applejack by her side Twilight could not expect her already frustrating day to get screwed. She needed just one listener (though the more, the merrier) and her notes with her. So -- back to the library they're gonna go! May nothing stop them!.. Oh! She almost forgot: Rainbow Dash. Not this close to her wish was she going to give up! Friendship, however, was a complicated matter. Yeah, can't leave friends hanging, not Rainbow Dash, the most loyal of them all! They'll help her, and then... "Well? Where the hay is that rainbow-maned varmint you dragged me because of?!" Twilight snapped out of her thoughts -- they had arrived. And, apparently, not a single rainbow in near vicinity. "I-I left her here! -- stammered Twilight, confused. -- I-I guess, somepony must've helped her, while I was gone!" AJ's expression spoke for her: "OK, gotta go back to business, Twah-i. Be sure to have a nah-ice day, or whateva it is ponies say", -- and with these words she made to turn and leave... "Wait, Applejack!!!" The one being called winced at how loudly Twilight yelled this out: "Do you wanna make me deaf or what, Twah-ilight?! The hay are ya yelling like that?!" "Before you go, Applejack... -- started Twilight, a look of pain on her face. -- Please, tell me at least, where you'll be by the time I return from the library with my notes!" Applejack sighed: "Well, sugar cube, iffin ya need to know! -- Twilight cocked her head a little. Was something wrong with the way Applejack was speaking? -- You don't fah-ind me at the market -- then Ah-i must be back at Sweet Apple Acres. Now, iffin ya excuse me, Twah-ilight!.." -- and with that Applejack headed to her affairs, slightly irritated by Twilight's wondering. She was busy as it was, after all. "Thank you, Applejack! I'll be in a moment!" -- and she dashed back to the library to take her notes with her, for this time she was not going to forget it! Oh, she would unload it all! No one was to escape! Had she been a little bit crazier, she would have cackled maniacally... but that would have been creepy, so... she didn't. "And where, you think, are you going to?!" Startled by this sudden cry, everypony in near vicinity, except for Twilight, who had already been off, turned to see... Oh-h-h, no, you don't! Not again! Sorry. Uh, what's up with the references today? "May I ask you, what's with the speech pattern today?!" -- yelled at... no one in particular a certain pink pony, who'd been chasing the unknown someone from the moment she appeared in the narrative. "Excuse me, Miss! -- some stallion addressed her, sounding very displeased. -- I don't mean to impose, but would you be so kind as to yell at no one in particular at some other place?" "Oh, I'm not yelling at anyone in particular", -- replied she cheerfully, as if she hadn't been raging just the moment before. "Well, that's what I said. You're yelling at no one in particular", -- answered the stallion, a bit confused. "No! I am NOT yelling at anyone!" -- yelled Pinkie. Huh. Heh-heh! "Well, yes, isn't it?.." -- made the stallion to ask, a bit annoyed at the misunderstanding. "In fact, I'm yelling at, -- here her demeanour, her voice and expression on her face changed back to the raging ones, -- the one, who has been messing with the way my friends speak!!! He's been wise-cracking through the whole narrative! Assigning witty descriptions to whomever he has laid his eyes upon! Bringing ponies misery!" -- she fumed more and more, her voice rising and almost becoming a shrill shriek by the time she finished. "Excuse me, Miss!" -- the stallion sounded very irritated, if not beyond extremely so. "You be gone! -- Pinkie turned to him and yelled at him angrily. -- You don't belong in this scene -- maybe, another one -- but still!" "Ex... cuse me?!" -- the insulted stallion could not believe what he just heard, fury overwhelming him. "I said!.. Be... GONE!!!" -- with that Pinkie pulled out her party cannon and blasted the stallion, only summoned to calm the pink thing down, away. Well, down goes one, more left to come! "YOU!!!" -- she had trouble breathing, for so infuriated she was. Man, it would be a pity, if she... "Oh, NO, you..." -- here she choked and burst in a coughing fit. Better to be careful and to stay cool, for who may know, if any incidents await the unwary one, who decides to try and yell at... well, who was that Pinkie was yelling at, anyway? "Khem-khem, so... -- and suddenly she spoke calmly out of the blue. -- As I was saying", -- she glanced around and noticed for the first time, maybe, in this entire scene, that an angry crowd was staring at her. "Pinkie!" -- someone addressed her, clearly dissatisfied with her recent behaviour. Why would he, though... "Um-m-m... Sorry, everypony, I must have mistaken the wrong guy for the right guy! Heh-heh!" -- she laughed nervously, for she could clearly see, she was in trouble. Though, what for, no one would know. "Oh, come on, it's just me, Pinkie! Your very best party planner! Come on, would you get upset with your favourite party planner?" Silence. Unwelcoming, if allowed to add. "I-I... I'll make it up for you all! Just... please, forgive me and allow me to move on!" All stood still. Nopony moved. Nopony spoke. If one got closer, one would notice, they didn't even breathe. Now, whatta h... "Um... Hello? Anypony?" -- silence answered her. She approached one of the citizens and examined him closely. The pony hadn't moved an inch. He was frozen in the pose he was in. "Huh, artificial? Now, I know, that you hear me and all and that you control everything, but for some reason I'm pretty sure, it wasn't your hooves' deed... or whatever you've got there instead of hooves". That's right, whomever Pinkie was addressing to was not responsible for that! But what the hay is going on?.. Uh-h-h... you would ask. Yeah, what the hay is going on? -- you'd ask. Well, worry not, for everything is going to be explained... as soon, as we move to the actual story! "Oh! Well, apparently, whatever is happening, does so on somepony else's demand. Oh, well. Sorry I attacked you! -- she made a very joy-filled face, smiling peacefully and almost apologetically. -- He-he-hee! What an accident! Oops! -- clearly, she couldn't be more embarrassed by herself. -- I-I'll make it up to you too! Well, time for me to get bouncing! He-hee! Fun awaits me!.. -- her painfully stretched smile and embarrassed expression spoke for her. -- Uh-h-m-m-m... Remember: reality's an illusion, the universe is somepony's fiction! Check out my cupcakes, by-y-y-ye!.." -- with those words she dashed down some street to... make it up to everypony, to have fun, to write some fiction and, apparently, to bake cupc... Wait? What'id she just say about reality?? As soon, as Twilight got to her library, she made a mad dash to her workplace. "Notes, notes, come out, wherever you are!" She searched for them everywhere... She rummaged through the entire library... ...but they were gone. "No. Th-this can't... -- for a second there she couldn't remember, how to breathe. -- N... no... H-how am I supposed to remember?.. it?.." In utter shock she plopped onto the floor, eyes wide in disbelief and staring off into distance. Nopony would know now, what she had discovered! And there was no one, who could help her! ...Well, could anyone? W... wait a minute, that's right! Bang! -- the door to the library slammed open. "Twi-i-ili-i-ight!!! -- in burst none other, than our lovable pink random pony -- Pinkie P... -- Are you here?!!" -- she yelled loudly, unable to contain that shriek until the time for her to actually state her remark. What a rush, geez! Not wasting any more time, she zipped to her, once her eyes registered a purple smear: "There! Phew, here you go! -- with that said she slammed with a smack, what she was holding, down on the table before Twilight, almost fainting from an apparently long time spent running. -- You... gah!.. may... gah!.. be... needing... this one! Gah!.." -- and, rolling her eyes, she flopped on the floor, unable to stop panting. Now, as one would imagine, Twilight had been so shocked she wouldn't even have been going to have a look at what Pinkie had brought to her, but one quick glance was sufficient for her to immediately recognise, what it was: "I-isn't it?.. -- she brought herself forward with a speed even Rainbow Dash would have been jealous of, and took a closer look. -- This... can't be!.. -- to make sure, she flipped through several pages. Sure, these were what she had immediately recognised as... -- My research!" There were no words in whole Equestria to describe, just how happy Twilight was! Had Pinkie not been being busy catching her breath, she would have totally joined Twilight in her expressing the amount of joy that was filling her at that moment. For Twilight grinned from ear to ear, hopped in place with her eyes closed, squealed in delight, dashed from place to place; she even bounced off of walls, as if she had been made of rubber! Who knows, what else she would have done, had Pinkie not come to her senses and finally regained her breath. "Well, -- she panted a bit, -- who's to say, we need to move to what, now?" W-well-l-l... Y-yeah, Pinkie's d-definitely right... Some lost notes won't keep us from, ahem, proceeding with the story. He-hee, a little bit of tension won't harm, though, will it?.. "Uh-huh. What a sight to behold. He's smiling embarrassedly, -- she grumbled a little, her tone flat and a bit taunting; though, to whom she was speaking, was unclear. -- Yeah-yeah, right, well, I helped you not to get stuck with..." Here a still joy-filled Twilight interrupted whatever Pinkie was about to say (but didn't, for definitely is no fourth wall breaking allowed): "Oh-h-h!.. Thank you, thank you, thank you, like, a lot, Pinkie! Who knows, what I would do, were it not for you-u-u!" -- she squealed loudly in delight, grabbing the caught-off-guard Pinkie and hugging her as tight, as she could, and as close to her, as possible, face snuggled against the other's pink cheek. "W-well, -- after the first shock wore off, Pinkie smiled a bit, almost chuckling at how excited her friend was, -- not at all, Twily! -- she reached to return the hug, ruffling Twilight's mane... for some reason... in the process. Uh-h-h... -- Just had to make sure the sto... Erm!.. -- becoming aware of what she had almost said, she got one of her fore hooves close to her muzzle and coughed. -- I meant, your notes don't get scattered all over Poniville... no, over the whole of Equestria!" -- and she threw her hooves up at that, as she cried the last part out. Finally Twilight stopped snuggling with Pinkie and looked directly in her face: "Oh! Pinkie! -- and she hugged her once again. -- You can't possibly imagine, how much... horror you spared me! Thank you again!" -- as she said that, she finally unhugged Pinkie Pie, one foreleg still on the latter's shoulder, and stood on all fours. "Well... -- Pinkie's glance fell to the floor, and she smiled embarrassedly, for she was pleased with Twilight's gratitude. -- You're welcome, my friend!" With that they hugged once more, and then Twilight -- finally! -- got to the task at hoof: "Now, that I've got my notes with me, I can finally present you all what I discovered last night!" And nopony would be able to hold her back from doing this, for nothing would stop her now! "S-sorry, Twilight, but... I just remembered..." "Y-ye-e-es, Pinkie?" -- asked Twilight, and instantly did Pinkie get nervous, for so crazy did Twilight sound! But knowing, there was going to be a whole scene, where she'd talk about how she had stuck her nose into Twilight's notes and familiarised herself a bit with the material, all the while gathering them... where she'd be able to get the narrative flow back to track, if she tried... Knowing, she just could do it, filled her with determination! And so she tried to explain, why Twilight needed not to tell about it to the first pony she had met, but to go tell that to Applejack (of course, no fourth wall breaking allowed): "Back here, after you first met me this morning and I ran to check for an example of a good writer, who wrote about pony lives, I sensed... someone!.." -- here her tone changed to one of displeasure of someone. Had that someone been present, he would've sighed in frustration, slight though it might have been... "Yeah, but they escaped PDP! But not for long! But, before I could get to chasing them, I decided to wonder, what you'd wanted to say to me, but you'd been gone!" "Wait, so you heard what I was trying to say?" "Um... No, that's, why I tried to find you, but you were nowhere to be seen, so I almost gave up on searching for you, but then I went to the SPA, 'cause I sensed that someone again! Sure they were there to... well, I can't blame them, but they've been jamming everypony's speech pattern and making all sorts of things happen to everyone at their whim!" Well... If you put it that way -- sure, whatever you say, Pink One. (Gosh, will she just stop the fourth wall thing and behave like all characters? Why cannot an author have a story with an (as much, as possible) ordinary Pinkie Pie?! Huh, a pretty thick wall will be needed in a next story, apparently.) "...and I couldn't defeat them and scared all of you, -- went on Pinkie, -- which upset me very-very much, so I ran away in tears; but Rarity consoled me soon after! Thanks, Rarity! So I bounced back happily, all eager to meet you, Twilight, and to ask, what you'd wanted to say, but found Dashie, who was laughing, like there was no tomorrow!" "Oh, so you were the one to help Dash, while I was busy fetching Applejack to help me to help Rainbow! That clears it all! And now I've got my notes, and I won't even need Applejack to listen to me, 'cause I've got you!" -- with that said she started to approach Pinkie, that same unsettling grin plastered on her face, as if it were a part of that face. Now, it seems, it might just become a part, should Twilight overdo this. Scared down to her guts, but staying determined, Pinkie pressed on, as she neared the point, where she'd say, she had read Twilight's notes: "Yeah, I helped her to calm down from her guffaw, which was all because of you, Twilight, by the way, but never mind that!" "Oh", -- was all Twilight could answer with. "I tried to ask Dashie, if she'd seen you, but... then Dash laughed really ha-a-ard, and I had to calm her dow-w-wn somehow, but messed u-u-up, and then she became super upset because of me-e-e... He-he-hee! So I tried to make amends with her, but she left... so I decided to ask for an advice, and then I remembered, I still needed you, so I ran to the SPA again... but then there was that someone I'd sensed before, and... we got in a bit of an argument... He-he-hee! But then we were all good... but everypony was super-really cross with me for my yelling... Whoopsie, he-hee! So I ran to apologise to everypony, and, while doing so, I ran past your library and saw every sorts of sheets flying away, as if they had been a flock of birds, which they obviously weren't, but if they had been, that would have been amazing! And funny! He-he-ha-ha! Oh, right! So I'd gotten myself a very, incredibly, super impossible task to perform: to catch them and to help everypony to become friends with me again, because, you know, I'd screwed up and all, and I'll just spare you the details, because I feel, I need to gasp for air, because I can't say everything in a single breath, contrary to what everypony is thinking about me because of my ability to speak in long strings of words..." She went silent, only making noises, when a gasp for air would come. Had she not eaten a very sugary meal that morning, she would no doubt have collapsed on the floor breathless. "W-wow, Pinkie. I don't know, why everypony is making that remark. It's not, like you were talking without needing to take one single breath for a whole minute and 31.92 seconds, because that would be just ridiculous. Come on, nopony can even handle speaking for so long... unless they have a very large chest, but still. Speaking without taking a breath is hard. But of course you knew it all this time, so you wouldn't even consider trying to speak for such large an amount of time, now would you?" Sarcasm was clear in Twilight's voice, but it disappeared without a trace, when she heard Pinkie wheeze: "N... not... funny... T-twah... light..." -- gasped Pinkie, for she had run out of any air her already not so much large lungs could contain. In fact, every muscle responsible for squeezing air out of her lungs hurt so much she had to thank whatever supreme force that had decided to take pity on the poor thing and to leave her with at least some ability to breathe. And that's not to mention, she needed to breathe intensely, which caused her even more pain, for her breathing muscles hurt like nothing could! Plus, the lack of oxygen in her blood from not inhaling for such long a time sure caused her problems, because she would black out any minute! Why does the Universe hate this pink mare so much? Even considering, it is watching her intently and actually controlling everything that happens in the story! Why can't it just let Pinkie not have a near-death experience?! Does it not know, Death isn't supposed to appear in this story, because it wasn't planned for it?? She'd know, she was welcome, by seeing the "Death" tag, but does this story really need some death? Heck, this story isn't even about such a tragedy, it hasn't even the "Tragedy" tag! Not even "Sad"! Come on, what's happening to this innocent tale, everypony! Hello-o-o! Let's make it happy and cheery again! Let's say, Pinkie was not going to die, because that would be inappropriate, to say the least! Let's say... ...But suddenly it didn't quite hurt that much already. Suddenly the air became all crystal-clear and very enjoyable to take in. The pain in the muscles suddenly ceased, causing trouble breathing no longer. Pinkie still needed air badly, and she kept on gasping for it, but that would be just a matter of time, before she fully regained her ability to breathe. The breathing muscles were going to hurt notwithstanding, but that was nothing a pony couldn't handle. "Yeah? Well... I... -- tried Pinkie speaking, but panting still interfered with that. -- I... I need to... catch... gah, my... gah... breath!.. -- she panted some more. -- Ouch. Every... thing... hurts!" "Oh, poor Pinkie! -- exclaimed Twilight, forgetting for a minute, she had something to tell. -- Do you need something?" Still panting, Pinkie replied: "You... to leave... me... alone for some... time... Gah! -- for, you see, that would leave Twilight only with Applejack to talk to. Just as planned. -- Oh, and... please... bring me... a glass... of water..." "J... ust a little glass of water? You sure you don't want anything else?" -- asked Twilight, a bit of suspicion in her voice. "I am... not, gah... singing... that, Twilight... Just... bring... the glass... And put it... down... please..." "OK", -- with that she left for the sung glass of water, a memory of Discord, requesting that same thing once, not improving her mood any. "Wow, Pinkie, -- she said upon her return with a glass full of requested drink and seeing, Pinkie had lain down. -- Next time, please, try to remember to breathe, when you're talking! I don't want to see you like this ever again!" -- she put the glass down beside where Pinkie was lying and hugged her to comfort her: "There you go, Pinkie! Please, be alright, OK!" "Gah! Sure thing... Twilight!" -- forced out Pinkie. Apparently, her breathing had improved, for she could say more, than just one word, without as much as a struggle. "Would you like to listen to what I discovered last night, maybe? -- remembered Twilight nonetheless. Oh... -- I've been itching to pour it out since the morning! Not literally itching, of course", -- she smiled. "Ga-a-ouch! No, please... Twi!.. Don't!.. Gah! Not laughing!.." -- pleaded Pinkie almost with tears in her eyes. "Ouch! Sorry, Pinkie! Sure, no laughing for you, until you breathe properly". Then she tried again: "OK, joking aside. Would you like me to busy you for a moment? Please, Pinkie! If you don't, I might just explo-o-ode!" Pinkie felt uncomfortable under Twilight's pleading gaze. She didn't want to listen to what Twilight was going to tell, not before she achieved her goal. Which was asking Twilight, what the latter had wanted to say to her. So how does she make Twilight stop and let her, Pinkie, ask that? Does she offer her a new topic to talk about, so her unlimitedly persistent friend forgets about her discovery altogether? Pinkie shook her head mentally at that: although Twilight was often eager to talk on various topics, she seemed to be very determined to speak of this particular subject. Plus, she needed to speak to someone. Pinkie might not know it (or she might, who knows?), but Twilight had been dying to share her discovery! As a good friend Pinkie Pie didn't want to upset her. It seemed, changing the subject was not a good idea at all. "Then how about just turning Twilight down? It's just the matter of telling her, I'm not inclined to listen to her right now. That might just work... But wouldn't that upset Twilight as well? Wouldn't it be offensive of me to do that?" -- thought Pinkie to herself. Then she shook her head mentally at that as well: no, that would be even more offensive, than trying to slip out of it. It would definitely simply not do. Then how about something as inoffensive, as can be? What, if she just pleaded Twilight to stop trying to flood her with what she had discovered, for a time being? But Twilight didn't seem to be going to stop any time soon. Oh, no, she wasn't! Not when she was so close to her goal! Pinkie was left with few options. If she didn't make Twilight stop, then the only thing left for her would be breaking down, for she wouldn't be able to fight off what Twilight tried to assault her with. And Pinkie didn't want to succumb, knowing, that the story being told was going completely off track. Well, that's an actually good point, you know. After all, this is a story about Twilight dumping (or rather trying to dump) her discovery on a busy Applejack, and that's not even the best part of it! No, this story is not going to stall! Pinkie is clearly needing somepony's help! So how about this somepony being someone... Er, well... someone a lot more competent in story-telling and the basic narrative flow, than her? "Plea-a-ase, Pinkie!" -- pleaded Twilight, unwavered by her friend's prolonged silence. Pinkie watched her friend's almost puppy-dog eyes, and then closed her own eyes and drew in a breath, letting out a small sigh: "Listen, Twilight... -- she said calmly and serenely. -- Why does it have to be me?" "I-if you don't want to, y-you probably don't have to, Pinkie!" -- said Twilight hastily, although not very wanting to concede just yet. "Then why? -- carried Pinkie on, still not opening her eyes and remaining just as calm, as before. -- Why me?" "W-w-well, if you don't want to... then, I guess... But you are the only pony around! I simply have to tell it to someone! -- her voice started to fill with pain. -- Pinkie, I've been wishing for somepony to listen to me! -- she was close to starting choking with tears. -- You won't believe, for how long I have been running about Poniville just to get one of you, girls, to hear it! -- she was on the verge of tears now. -- And I only got to get you and Fluttershy! And she hadn't even a chance of l-listening to me!.. because I, damn it, forgot what I was about to tell! -- tears now flowed down her face, unrestrained by anything. -- Th-the only one, who promised to pay me attention, was Applejack, b-but... n-now I've got y-you, and... I-I-I'm desperate, desperate for somepony's close ear!" -- she cried out and broke down. Ow! Who could expect that to happen! As for Pinkie... well, she was at the verge of breaking down herself, ready to let it out as soon, as her last resolve broke. Tears swelled up in her eyes, and... Ah, gosh! No, really, gosh! What has happened to this little story?! Why's everypony crying?? That was not supposed to be that! That's it! Pinkie Pie is leaving the stage this very instant and gets herself something to cheer her up, because a sad Pinkie is most definitely the worst (and most saddening) Pinkie! Then, without her friend to listen to, Twilight Sparkle... well, sh-she... Gets... outside?.. And then what? Her head hung low, she drags her... self?.. to where AJ is supposed to be?.. Well... But then things would get, like, really, really awkward! A-all of this isn't even s-supposed to be happening!.. Now, chin up, everypony! Why so long f-faces? Come on, this is not funny, and if it is not, it's not welcome here! Random? Sure! Funny? Absolutely! Sad? Seriously??? ...You know what? No. There is no point in simply pushing the story to the intended ending! If Twilight wants so badly to take it off her chest... then... Then she may as well do just that! Just may she do so at Applejack's, OK! "Well, -- whispered Pinkie almost inaudibly, a large (but not literal) knot in her throat. -- Here goes..." She rose onto her hooves, still panting a bit, and approached an inconsolable Twilight. Once she got closer to her, she patted her weeping friend's back: "Th-there, there, T-Twilight! L-look, I... I can't see you all l-like this! You shall not be upset any more! Or my name is not Pinkamena Diana Pie!" -- still trying to fight her yet unshed tears back, she lifted the sobbing Twilight, so she hung off Pinkie's shoulder, and continued to pat her back in consolation. "W... w... will y-y-you l-listen t-to m-me?" -- asked Twilight, yet unconsoled and sobbing, face wet, but hope sparkling throughout this all nonetheless. Pinkie looked at Twilight, as the latter stared into her eyes desperately. It was painful to watch her stare like this! Pinkie could almost feel her heart shatter, as what Twilight felt rained at Pinkie's soul, hitting it, almost as if her soul had been literally left out for a storm to beat it! Tears swelled in her eyes once again: "Only if you stop being so blue, Twilight". "O-okey... -- she sniffed. -- I-I'll try..." Pinkie then contemplated her next move. "Say, Twilight... -- she started warily. -- W-why don't we go and... well... f-find s-somepony else, y-you know... to... well, join us? What do you say? Sound good?" Twilight just might buy it. If she did, then the story would be back to what had been originally intended! "Y-you... know where th-they are?" -- she sniffed again. "Well... I mi-i-ight know where Rainbow Dash could be... but..." -- her face distorted slightly at the mention of the upset pegasus. She certainly shouldn't have mentioned "baking cupcakes" prank she'd pulled on one of her best, no, bestest friends! She needed somepony's advice on how to approach it best! That just might be Twilight, but... she'd got a problem that prevented her from advising, so-o-o... Then again... What, if?.. Nope. "B-but sh-she is-sn't th-there a-any m-more, r-right?" -- still choking with tears (and swallowing lumps), asked Twilight. Pinkie immediately felt Twilight's despair rising again and hurried to hug her: "Well, -- she said, stroking Twilight's m... mane? Wait, what's she doing? -- if we can't find her anywhere, we might try somepony else". Twilight started to get better, as Pinkie's strokes comforted her. Her mood was improving steadily. Then a thought occurred to her: "Hey, Pinkie, -- she sniffed, -- now, that I think about it, -- another sniff, -- I do know where Applejack is, so... -- she sniffed again, her mood improving with each passing second, -- ...how about we go to her place and... well, you know, -- she sniffed again and smiled gently, -- involve her into my little presentation? After all, the more, the merrier, isn't it? And couldn't you, please, gather everyone else?" -- she asked, getting even more excited, hope filling her heart to the brim once again. "Erm-m-m... N... no, I... d-don't believe I know where the others are... well... beside Rarity, but she might have already not been there, so let's... go to Applejack's?" -- offered Pinkie with an unsure and uneasy smile, as if something had been wrong; but Twilight didn't seem to notice that. "Then to Applejack's we go!" -- exclaimed Twilight and, her mood improved to the degree, where one couldn't even say she had cried, made a dash to the library's door. "Hey! Twilight! -- chuckling, a grin on her face, Pinkie called out to Twilight. -- Haven't you left something behi-i-ind?" Twilight stopped dead in her tracks and turned: "Oh, really? What? Oh! -- and then she almost facehoofed herself. -- Of course. How could I forget about my notes!" Chuckling to herself as well, she walked up to the table she'd left her notes on at one moment, and picked them up. Then, having made sure, she hadn't forgotten anything, she cantered happily outside, Pinkie following her immediately after, as much happy, as the former. "Well, you owe me nothing, Mr The One Behind It All!" -- whispered she with a grateful grin, as she followed the happy Twilight. And had that One Behind It All actually been there to hear her, he would've... "Oh, quit playing a narrator, Mister! You know I know, you're right there... -- she lowered her voice to a barely decipherable whisper, -- ...behind the Fourth Wall!" Oh! Well, that was a mighty, mighty blow! Were it not for the readers, the One Behind It All would most definitely answer to Pinkie with a voice of his own, but, since Pinkie's inside, and she's not supposed to see past the Fourth Wall, giving the One... the OBIA a voice of his own would make the OBIA a character. This is not to happen, when an author is pulling a Fourth Wall breach, so-o-o... "So make him a character, then!" Pinkie. "Ye-e-es-yes-yes, I know, I know! -- she smiled almost playfully. -- Bad Pinkie, I know". Now, don't make it sound as something awkwardly... Uh, well. Although, you know... You might end up in one of the stories to be published. You know, as a reward. "You're getting off track". Oh, really? Well, uh-h-h... And so the two of them trotted merrily... "Cantered!" ...merrily to the very culmination of this tale! For Applejack was the only one left to tell to, and if she had not been, then Twilight would have had to go through all of it again! And that would be boring. "Yeah, totally!" "What was that?" -- asked Twilight, who led the way and so trot... fine, cantered ahead. "Oh, nothing, Twilight! Just was thinking: what, if Applejack were not there, so you'd have to relive this day all over again!" Now, wait just a... No way! "Ugh! Pinkie! How could you?.." -- gasped Twilight, completely at a loss of words. Naturally, for suggesting such a horrible (but let's just be honest here: boring) idea to a pony, who'd had an awfully frustrating day, seemed as something nopony would tolerate. Nor should. "Oh, come on, Twilight! Why fuss over nothing?" At first Twilight couldn't even come up with a proper reply. She only sputtered, unable to get a word out of her mouth, her indignation boundless... before Pinkie snorted, and then burst into merry laughter. Uh, o-o-o... kay... "Oh. Ha, ha, ha, Pinkie, -- said Twilight, her face expressing absolutely no amusement. -- Very funny". However she couldn't stay mad at a friend she'd almost lost, and then had been rescued and even consoled by. Still she found it appropriate to grumble a little: "Celestia my witness, Pinkie, you were the very reason I even visited the SPA with Rarity! And to think, I was even going to relax at your place!" At this Pinkie gasped a lungful (two ones, actually): "You were?? WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME, THEN?!! WE'D HAVE HAD A PARTY!!!" Twilight's expression changed a little, when she heard the cues of an upcoming celebration, and made a motion, as if to step back from the overexcited party planner, who seemed to be planning as huge a party, as one Equestria had never seen before! "Ooh! -- squealed Pinkie in delight. -- Oh, oh, oh! Can't wait to get started with arranging it! It's gonna be super exciting!!!" With that she made to dash in a blur to her place and to arrange a party, whose glory to come no words would do justice to describe! And they neither would, nor will. 'Cause that party shall be cut short, even if it isn't even planned, much less started! For, if Pinkie is so reluctant to go to Applejack's at the highest speed possible... Well, then Applejack's going to appear at their place right this instant! "Woah-ah!" Bam! -- and, before Pinkie could dash to anywhere, a very inconveniently passing-by Applejack appeared, returning from the market to the Sweet Apple Acres, just as she'd promised to Twilight back when they'd talked. And, as she appeared, Pinkie Pie dashed from her place to arrange a party of unimaginable proportions -- and crashed into her. "Ouch! -- exclaimed Pinkie. -- What gives?!" "For sweet cida's sake! Who in tarnation doesn't watch where they're goin' to?! Curse you, you varmints!" "Wait! Applejack?" "Huh? Pinkie?" "Oh, oh, oh! Applejack, we were exactly going to you! D'you know where everypony else is? Do ya? No? Well, OK, doesn't matter any more, though the more, the merrier, but scratch that! We needed somepony to make us a company! You see, two aren't a company, now are they? And three? Duh, three's a crowd! Well, I don't blame Discord for ruining the perfect quality time Twi and Princess Cadance were about to have, but can one argue the old proverb, can they, can they, uh-uh-uh?" Any further excitement, expressed through inconceivable blabbering, got, unfortunately, cut short by an apple shoved unceremoniously into Pinkie's mouth. This, however, didn't stop Pinkie from proceeding her speech even with her mouth blocked. For some time she was running without any fuel, but then finally came to realise, she was not heard, so she slowed down to a complete stop, and only then did Applejack speak: "Now, would ya kah-indly promise me to spare mah-y ears from any more onslaught coming from ya, Pinkie?" -- and she squinted expectantly. Realising, how displeased Applejack was, Pinkie felt all of the situation's seriousness. Her face, for once in her life, became less smiling and more serious, and she nodded. "Good", -- responded Applejack and allowed the apple to leave Pinkie's mouth. Then her eyes bulged, as she saw, the apple lacked one of its sides, apparently swallowed by Pinkie's mouth's fellow, Pinkie's throat. "The HAY, Pinkie!?? W... why didja?.. Uh..." -- Applejack lost every word she had, for so shocked she was. After she found the words she wanted to say, she managed: "Pinkie! That was a bad apple! Do ya?.. do ya even know where this rotten apple came from?!" "Nope, -- eyes closed with joy, replied Pinkie, seeing absolutely nothing wrong in biting an apparently rotten apple. -- Have no idea!" "Well... uh... Do y... Have ya eva even thought, why one shouldn't eat 'em bad apples?!" "We-e-el-l-l... Y'know... -- Pinkie smiled mischievously, as if planning something. -- I haven't until the day I did, and that day I thought: why are bad apples not to be eaten? To answer that question, I needed an apple, for how can a pony say, if an apple is bad, without taking a glance at it? Perhaps you know? I headed to your orchard, so I could interrogate some of the bad apples, why they're so bad. You won't believe, quite what a fascinating and enlightening story those thugs told me!" Here Applejack opted to shove her hoof into Pinkie's mouth instead of a rotten apple to stop this nonsense: "The hay in tarnation are ya, silly filly, shooting the breeze about?! Ah-i ain't in no mood for your silly granny's tales!" Pinkie tried to say something, but words wouldn't get out, for so great was the sturdiness of Applejack's hoof. Well... was it? No sooner did Applejack say anything more, than her hoof was suddenly jerked out of Pinkie's orifice with a bit of laughter. When she calmed down, her face was a sight to behold! "The HAY didja just lick my hoof, Pinkie?!! Ah-i did not put it in your mouth for ya to lick it!!!" Pinkie... well. To put it shortly -- she giggled silly, so amused she was! Has any of you ever licked a hand pressed to your lips as to keep your mouth shut? No? Well, Pinkie just did. Funny, isn't it? No? OK... The scene would have gone on endlessly, had Twilight not intervened: "Uh-h-h, I don't mean to interrupt, but... don't you all suppose, you could all hear a bit or two of words from me?" At that everypony stopped sharply whatever shenanigans they were busy doing, and snapped their necks to turn in her direction: "Yes?" -- they both said simultaneously. "Thank you. OK, so, as I intended to say this ages ago... -- and she paused, memories of what she had experienced still alive in her mind. -- Well... here goes..." And she flipped her precious notes to start it all off. While doing so, she smiled to herself contentedly: since the very morning had she wished to share her incredible discovery with her friends, and now has she got a chance! "Ahem. Before I get to the bottom of it: what do you consider most unshakable in the whole world?" "Uh... well..." -- Applejack made to say... "Oh! Oh! That's an easy one! -- cried out Pinkie. -- An unripe or rotten fruit!" Uh. Now, if only there had been some background music playing, it would have stopped with a stock vinyl scratch sound. Everypony stared at Pinkie, obviously having no clue, as to why she had suggested such a ridiculous answer. Then again, she was Pinkie Pie. "Yeah, I mean, duh! If I were not Pinkie Pie, then who would I be? Hm-m-m... Come to think of it... who indeed?.." "P... Pinkie?.. -- asked Twilight, incredulous. -- Wh... what are you talking about?? Wh... what has the answer to my question to do with you being none other, than you??? A-and... why exactly is it a fruit out of the blue?! -- but her incredulity wasn't going to last longer, than needed. -- Huh-h-h. You know what? Never mind. I should have not expected anything else from you. I mean, Pinkie! Even that randomness was wa-a-ay over your everyday definition for "randomness"!" Boy had Twilight been triggered! Her reaction would have been called "adorkable", had there been someone to call her that. Because, you know. Dorkiness made adorable? Come on, she was, wasn't she? "Oh, Twilight! -- Pinkie giggled and gave her a playful noogie. -- Relax! Just tell me I was right! Was I? Was I?! Is that a fruit?! Is-it-is-it, uh-uh-uh?!" This time Applejack durst not to shove objects Pinkie could possibly munch over into her mouth, deciding instead on something really inedible: "Will ya stay quah-iet for a minute, Pinkie! Ah-i am pretty sure, it was not what Twah-ilight meant, when she said "unshakable"!" "Pft!.. Bleh! What are you, insane?! -- shouted out Pinkie, spitting out a hoofful of dirt Applejack had previously shoved into her mouth, as to stop her blabbering. -- That was not even TASTY!!!" "Sorry, sugar cube, -- grinned Applejack slyly, -- would ya lah-ike to have some of 'em bad apples?" -- and she pointed to a cart she had come with, which contained a basketful or two of those. "Thanks a lot, Applejerk! -- grumbled Pinkie, obviously angry with her, and, her gaze away, made to head off to somewhere not even near Appejack. -- I had my share!" "Honestly, -- muttered she under her breath, -- that must've been what Rainbow Dash had felt, when I had mentioned "baking cupcakes" prank to her. Guess, I won't even need Twilight's advice regarding that". "Pi... Pinkie! Where're you going to?" "Say, Twilight, -- replied Pinkie gloomily, -- by any chance, weren't you going to say, "reality's an illusion" or something like that?" To say, Twilight's eyes bulged, would be saying nothing: in addition to that her jaw dropped so hard it actually hit the ground. "H-h-h... How?!" "Huh-h-h. Twilight, remember my rant back in the library? When I was saying, I was gonna need to take a breath?" ...but everypony was super-really cross with me for my yelling... Whoopsie, he-hee! So I ran to apologise to everypony, and, while doing so, I ran past your library and saw every sorts of sheets flying away... So I'd gotten myself a very, incredibly, super impossible task to perform: to catch them and to help everypony to become friends with me again, because, you know, I'd screwed up and all, and I'll just spare you the details, because I feel, I need to gasp for air... "...I mentioned running to apologise to everypony for my yelling, and then stumbling upon your library and seeing every sorts of sheets flying away -- those were these notes! I read them, while I was gathering them for ya! I don't need to listen to this, if this is what you've wanted to say to me for the whole time!" Intention to leave, she turned and walked away: "Sorry, Twilight, but I have some more important tasks to do, like making up with Rainbow Dash for what I said, -- she shifted her eyes, so her glare was directed at Applejack. -- You, Applejerk, are encouraged to do that too!" And with that she was gone. Author's Note My apologies, Pinkie and I messed the story up somewhat, but now it's all prepared to culminate and to resolve! Now there's only one listener to entertain! Twilight must achieve her dream! What will she do, when that listener tries to escape? Will she be able to pique her interest enough to prevent her? And what has Applejack got to counter Twilight's determination? ...Suffice it to say, the "Random" tag does not appear here for nothing...
So, basically, reality's not what it seems, and I'm about to demonstrate this to you! (Don't try this at home!)Everypony was left stunned at Pinkie's sudden change of mood. "Well, -- muttered Twilight, still shocked, -- here goes one listener. Only one left to bother". "Uh, excuse me, Twah-ilight. Ah-i've got places to be, so you'd betta hurry, before Ah-i'm late". At this Twilight snapped back with a start and quickly remembered what she was here after: "Oh, right, so, basically -- most ponies would consider reality the most unshakable thing in the world. Anything can be proven to be false. Reality, however, cannot". "Yeah, so?" -- Applejack raised an eyebrow. "Well, it appears, reality itself is not as steady, as it might be! There exist proofs to that! I researched this subject yesterday in my library and got some spell samples to demonstrate it!" "Well... -- Applejack didn't know, what to say, words lost. -- That's nah-ice and all". Twilight went on, explaining her theory to a dumbfounded Applejack, who seemed to have lost the track of the things back when Twilight first opened her mouth. "...hey, Applejack! Applejack! Are you even listening to me?!" "Wah! -- gave Applejack a start. -- What? Uh... Wh... what didja say, Twah-ilight?" -- she asked apologetically. Twilight sighed exasperatedly: "Gurgh! Have you not been paying attention to me?!" -- she asked angrily. "W-well..." -- began Applejack, embarrassed. Twilight let out another exasperated sigh: "For Celestia's sake! Why is NOPONY LISTENING TO ME!!!" -- she exclaimed and threw her hooves up in the air. "O-okey, Twah-ilight, look, Ah-i've got some places to be rah-ight now, so, iffin ya excuse me, Ah-i shall go". Twilight's state was indescribable at best! Teeth clenched, an angry glare blazing in her eyes, smoke blowing from her nostrils, head tilted forward, so her eyes looked from-under her brow -- she looked, like she was about to explode, for real this time! "Whoa!" -- yelped Applejack and proceeded to running away as fast, as possible, because... "YOU GET BACK HERE, YOU UNGRATEFUL LISTENER!" -- roared Twilight, giving chase not long after. Meanwhile at the Canterlot philharmonic an orchestra transitioned to the next composition. "Playing now is an arrangement of "Yakety sax" from "The Benny Hill show"!" The audience applauded. The orchestra made the first notes. If the aforementioned orchestra had been playing anywhere in vicinity of this little tale's events, no doubt would it have been most hilarious for any possible viewers. For any, except for Applejack. "Gotta go fast! Gotta go fast!" -- muttered she under her breath, all effort put into keeping up the speed. No time to turn and look, if Twilight got any closer! She is no farther, that's for sure. All set to catch up with and to stop the running-away pony, Twilight felt her determination fill her up. Had she been able to use the strength it was giving to her, she would have used it in any way possible to stop Applejack! Actually, wait, she thought. Why couldn't she use the abilities she had already? She summoned her magic and cast a teleportation spell. Startled, Applejack barely managed to skid to a halt and not to crash into a suddenly having appeared Twilight. "You. Are. Going. To. Listen. To me. No. Matter. How. Badly. You. Want. Not to", -- she said sternly, emphasising every word. "No! Go away, Twah-ilight! What's gotten into ya?" -- cried out Applejack, anger entering her voice. But Twilight didn't seem to be listening. Gathering her magic once again, she prepared to encase Applejack into some kind of a detention spell, so she didn't get away. Yell or not, the time had come to get the hay outta there! Applejack, in a sudden burst of despair, made a mad dash forward and tackled Twilight to the ground, before she could do anything significant. Twilight oomphed, as she fell, her magic undone in an instant. Not wasting a second, Applejack quickly snatched Twilight's notes from her grasp: "Sorry, Twah-ilight. Ah-i've got work to do. Ah-i will be sure to read your great discovery, but now is not the best tah-ime, ya know". Twilight rose onto her hooves. Applejack could clearly see fury written all over her face. "Well, gotta go, bah-ye!" But no sooner did she make to bolt out of there, than Twilight took a magical grip on her: "First Pinkie's busy catching somepony inexistent, -- she spoke, suppressed emotions boiling through her voice, -- then Fluttershy flees as soon, as I forget the very basics of what I discovered... then I am so frustrated I cannot even talk to anypony! Then YOU make a promise to listen to me, when I get back with my notes! Then I and Pinkie stumble upon you, and it's two of you already to listen to my discovery! Then one of you disappears, and I am only left with one bucking listener! -- her voice rose with every sentence she spat. -- Only for that listener to make a terrible excuse, that she has to work!!! -- she shouted that so loudly even Princess Celestia would have heard that, had she been a bit closer to the source. -- I am not, you hear that, Applejack? Not going to lose my only listener just because she's got things to do!" And what was left for Applejack to do? Only to unleash her hidden power, for nopony knew that, but she did have some. Surprise? It sure is so! "Ya know, Twah-i, let's make it fair. You only show me what ya've got, if Ah-i getta show you what Ah-i have". At this Twilight even paused, stopping her deadly explanation. She contemplated what Applejack had said. "Oh, really? -- baneful sarcasm entered her voice. -- Well, whatever have you got, Applejack? -- and she started mocking her every way possible. -- A mighty rope that could tie any villain up? -- she chuckled, pacing. -- Or, maybe, a lucky horseshoe? -- she pondered a bit. -- Some irresistibly delicious cider, I guess? Not, that I'd like to taste some right now, anyway, but still". Here Applejack smirked a bit. Now was her time to troll the Obsessed One: "Um... Nope, none of above. Ya know, now, that Ah-i think of it... Ah-i'm not gonna show to ya, Twah-ilight!" Another vinyl scratch might be appropriate here, as Twilight froze for a second from Applejack's sudden retort. When she finally found her ability to speak, she only managed: "Ex... cuse me? -- she sputtered for a few seconds. -- Why?" Applejack only chose to be silent in defiance. "Tell me! At once!" -- demanded Twilight, growing annoyed of this resistance. Damn, Applejack sure had very strong determination to match Twilight's. It seemed, she'd need something more, than just that, to achieve her goal. Maybe... "OK, -- seemingly defeated, conceded Twilight. -- I give up. What have you got, Applejack?" Applejack only smirked and, eyes closed, her head turned in defiance, simply said: "No way am Ah-i tellin' ya". At that Twilight made a frown: "B... but!.. But, Applejack!.." -- perhaps, pleading will be the solution? Applejack only grew more cocky: "Go, buck, some, apples!" -- she said, as if daring her to punish her. "Pwetty pwea-a-ase!" -- made Twilight a cute pout. Seeing that, Applejack chortled: "In the name of zap-apples are ya doin'?" -- she laughed. Well, that didn't work, thought Twilight. Annoyance overtook her. "Will you STOP that?! -- she exclaimed. -- What's the big deal? Just spill the beans, and I'll present you my research!" Applejack's smirk only got even wider: "You know... Ah-i don't wanna listen to what you've got! So Ah-i ain't telling anythin'!" -- as she said that, triumph overwhelmed her. Take that, Twilight! Baring her teeth, Twilight growled, annoyed at this turn of events. Had she been a bomb, she would no doubt have exploded -- so aggravated she was, even Pinkie hadn't aggravated her so much, as Applejack! Brute force? Well, let's see, how that turns out to be. "For the last time... Applejack... -- she growled. -- Will you kindly tell me, what you've got, so I may tell you, what I've got, and spare ourselves a lot of oncoming trouble?" Not intimidated even in the slightest, Applejack firmly shook her head: "Ain't gonna show to you, Twah-ilight. Ah-i really ain't up to this rah-ight now", -- with an almost apologetic smile, albeit not so truly apologetic, she finished: "Sorry". "Oh, so tha-a-at's how we are, huh? You refuse to show to me, don't you?" "...Yep". "Well, then... -- Twilight telekinetically brought her notes forward for Applejack to see. -- I didn't spend time researching this subject for nothing!" -- she started flipping through the pages, searching for the one she needed. As she kept on flipping, she let out no word, suddenly all ominous. This itched Applejack for no obvious reason, although she didn't let her cocky attitude falter. "Aha! Now, -- exclaimed Twilight, as she finally found the page she'd needed, -- prepare, o thou apple pony, for my demonstration of a special ability I learnt over night! May reality return safe and sound at the end of this, for it is going to be ripped apart before the gr-r-reat and powerful m-m-me-e-e!!!" She posed dramatically, almost copying Trixie at that. Her horn lit, as she started to work her arcane magic, eyes shut from the effort. "Uh, Twah-ilight? -- asked Applejack, concern showing through her still fairly cocky attitude. -- Now, what in the sweet Apple's cida are ya goin' t..." "Reisanil, theunisaho, buggow, yu-u-ub! D'lwagg yub! Marre-gol-woh haz isservinue eethe, nozjule-lin na zyttilla-irre!" -- shouted out Twilight seemingly nonsense. And... SPELL ACTIVATED! * Reality changed slightly. * All things, up to this point deemed hidden or invisible, became very distinct. * Nopony was happy about that. * Twilight proceeded anyway. * She was filled with DETERMINATION. TSSSSSHHHHSHHHHPTS! BADOOOOOOOOMMMM! REALITY We really mean it this time. * Reality, as anyone perceives it... * ... BUMMM! BUMMM! * Reality... is cracking. BUMMM! KABOOOOOOOOMMMMMM!!! REALITY SHATTERED! "Twah-ilight! What'id you do?!" -- cried out Applejack, fright overwhelming her. "That's simple, Applejack! -- said Twilight, clearly enjoying everything that was happening and herself. -- As I was about to tell to you, reality is not what we see it as. In fact, what we consider reality, is merely an illusion! Now, isn't this a proof?" -- she asked with a happy smile of a pupil presenting her work to the class. Whatever Twilight meant by reality really didn't seem as real, as the world had before. Things ceased being just plain things and became a very complex set of components, each as complex, as what it composed. If one looked carefully enough, he would grasp the world's workings! Applejack, however, hadn't time for grasping concepts: "Twah-ilight! Dontcha realise this is dangerous to... to... do whateva ya just did! If... if ya don't change it back, then!.." "Well, AJ... What, you said, had you got?" -- inquired Twilight, a faint shadow of a smirk on her face, as she was approaching her, for she knew, Applejack wouldn't get away from answering this time! Applejack only remained silent, clearly scared of the madness surrounding her. "Oh, you may not answer this! -- said Twilight cheerfully. -- After all... -- she stopped, and her smirk got wider, turning an excited and somewhat ominous grin, -- ...I can find it out all on my own!" Her horn activated yet again... A sound effect followed her actions, and before her eyes appeared... "Huh??!" -- was Twilight's only response, as she watched in bewilderment the new form Applejack had assumed. "Twah-ilight... did ya... just do... what Ah-i think ya did?" Twilight checked quickly her notes to make sure this wasn't yet another illusion. It couldn't be! No way!.. "I'm not a fool! -- she let out frantically. -- Reality or illusion, I can still recognise a pair of wings, when I see one!" She cast yet another spell to shatter any left-over illusions, which might possibly remain... Computerised beeps filled everything, going off faster and faster. When they reached their maximal speed, a bright white light filled everypony present's vision and someone's voice (robotic, it appeared, but how a robot made its way to Equestria, shall remain a mystery) yelled out dramatically: "Oh, yes!" And the white light faded. And it became dark. And darker. And yet darker... When it seemed, it couldn't become any darker, a set of spotlights turned on suddenly, outlining Applejack's new form... And out of this form was protruding... "No! -- exclaimed once more surprised Twilight, not believing her eyes. -- I refuse to believe this is an unicorn horn I spot!" "Oh-h-h-h mah-y... -- Applejack's voice made her known to all present (even if the only present there was Twilight alone). -- If ya did what Ah-i think ya did, that can only mean one thing". Twilight simply stood there, watched her shadowed figure and listened, awestruck and utterly confused. "You're desperate for the premier of mah-y new horn". "No..." -- Twilight whispered, still refusing to believe the sight before her eyes. For this whole time?.. "How rude... -- scolded her Applejack mildly. -- How rude of ya it was to pesta me with your silly discovery! Howeva much ya wanted mah-y attention, Twah-ilight!.. ya had betta have not gone 'n chased me lah-ike that! Lucky for you, -- continued she not so sternly, -- Ah-i've been aching to show what Ah-i've got off for a long tah-ime, mah-yself, -- with that she made a step forward. -- So... to be fair, Ah-i should get mah-yself a handsome reward for being exposed to your actions' consequences", -- and she frowned, though that wasn't as much noticeable, as it would have been without the poor lighting. Twilight... well, how her brain hadn't molten into jelly, shall remain an even greater mystery, than how a robot made its way to Equestria (or how Pinkie eats so much sugar without as much as toothache or plays ten instruments at once -- not to mention with her mouth taken away from her! -- or how her Pinkie-sense works...)! Unless her brain actually had... But, if it had, Twilight wouldn't have been able to shake herself and to cast yet another spell. What could go wrong now? Not only did the horn not go away, but Applejack got a pair of wings as well, becoming thus... "An alicorn??!! Celestia help me-e-e!!! What the hay has gone wro-o-ong??!!" "Twah-ilight, Twah-ilight, Twah-ilight! -- pretended Applejack to be scolding her. -- Didn't ya hear what Ah-i told ya? Ya oughtn't to be so rude! Ah-i am gonna show you all of it very soon, dontcha fret!" -- she promised to her with an amused smile. Twilight's frantic attempts to make her spell work out right only caused everything to go more wrong with each attempt: after another cast a thing would reveal itself to be hiding some great, even shocking secret, as would Applejack. Being a princess had been all but an illusion, for Applejack was secretly a changeling... ...which only'd been a Nightmare night costume... ...under which an actual Nightmare Moon had been hiding!.. ...Only for that mare to be revealed as Princess Luna... ...who'd been Celestia this whole time! Nah, just kidding, she'd been a banana! In fact, Twilight was shocked to find out she'd been a banana herself as well!.. ...But was she really? Because, if she'd been... wouldn't she have been twilightlicious? (A "rim-shot" was played immediately after for no obvious reason...) "He-hee! -- giggled someone. Oh, hi there! -- Seriously, tee-hee? "Twilight... licious"?" Cracking with internal laughter was none else, than Pinkie Pie herself. That is, if she could have been named Pinkie, for, what she really was, was... well, were three things, namely: a pin, a key and a pie (bring the "rim-shot" in!). Um... Nope, there were not three things, but two, actually: a pink Internet Explorer window and a pie. A pink-frosting-covered pie, actually. There were words of frosting of another shade of colour pink, which read: "Happy earth-pony-day, Microsoft Pinc. I. E. //Math.PI!" Scratch that! It was a Raspberry Pi computer with a, mind you, licensed copy of Microsoft Windows Pinksta. Naturally there was the pink Internet Explorer window opened on fimfiction[.]net. The pie had been gone. On the computer's screen showed up an animated Pinkie Pie. She then charged at the screen and, breaking it, leapt out of it. The computer screamed from pain and seemed to die (that much could be said from looking at its Pink Screen Of Death). The pony then said: "You just can't get enough, huh? Aren't you tired of all these puns? Because I... -- she took a box of sweet potatoes out of nowhere and held it up. -- ...yam!" -- as if on cue, another "rim-shot" was played. Zap! "Hey! My yam!" -- yelped Pinkie, for her precious sweet potatoes had just been zapped to smithereens by Twilight. "OK, I'm done! I! Am! So-o-o done!!!" -- screamed Twilight. "No, you're not, silly! You just zapped the yam! -- tried Pinkie to make a pun again. -- What you probably are is... tyred!" And she was indeed, for instead of hooves she had now a set of four tyres. Someone, please, play us a "rim-shot"! "Yes! Yes, I am tired of all this madness!!! Where in the name of hay is Applejack?!!" "Why, in hay, of course!" -- smiled Pinkie cheerfully, pointing at a hay bale a couple of steps away. Ha, a clever one! "Thanks!" "Thanks?! -- um-m-m, Twilight was rather wound up. Not just because a wound-up-toy key in her back indicated that much, but because her nerves were not going to last for long as well! -- You should be thanking me, Pinkie, for not blowing you on the spot for not being helpful! I mean, shall I ever get down to the bottom of it???" -- asked she dramatically, despair and a bit of hysteria in her voice. And no, she wouldn't, for it would take a journey down the abyss she was currently above to get to the bottom of it! (Badoom-pss!) "No matter, how hard I try, -- continued she, -- I just can't discover the truth! I can't tell an illusion from reality any more! And the other way around too! -- that said, she clutched her head in her hooves (or were they still wheels???), almost weeping by this point. -- I am officially not following! Please, Pinkie, be a dearie and get a hold of the situation! You're the only pony I know, who actually can handle the unexplainable! Please, Pinkie! -- repeated she, miserable. -- Or, I fear, -- she added, -- reality is not going to return safe and sound, much less my brains!.. If that jelly even can be called brains, that is..." -- added she after a short pause. With that all said she whimpered pathetically and curled into a ball, with which Pinkie didn't pass up an opportunity to play for a while. Then she remembered herself and stopped: "Oh, yeah, r-right, s-so... um... There's got to be an explanation, hasn't it? I mean, Mister The One Behind It All! Please, there's got to be!" And the response did come. For Pinkie heard a distant laughter, which she recognised as that of... "O-o-oh-h-h! You. Are. In-ge-e-enious! -- exclaimed she, spirits lifted. Literally as well, for she hovered above the ground (even if it was no real ground any more). -- Ahem. Worry not, Twilight! I can think of only perfectly logical explanation there may be! -- with these words said she pulled a blackboard (or rather a black surf board) out of nowhere and scribbled something quickly. -- Here! Try this! And... um-m-m, please, don't ask me of "where'd I" and "how'd I", huh? Just... don't, pretty please? I won't bear a loss of such a smart friend!" -- she pleaded almost with tears in her eyes, afraid of what could have happened to Twilight's... jellybrain (badoom-pss!), should she have tried questioning. But that she wasn't going to do. Rather she did as suggested, and took a glance at the surf board. Written on its surface (yes, the surf board really had a face... a surf face (badoom-pss)!) was an instruction for her to execute. Now, normally Twilight would have thought to herself, that that could not have been possible, that there wouldn't have been an explanation to what she saw, because -- did Pinkie REALLY KNOW MAGIC??! Naturally the brain would have shut down and never recovered after that... Y-yeah, it would have... "Um-m-m... Mister... The OBIA?.." ...But Pinkie was worried for naught, for did Twilight not question the illogical... "Phew! You bastard scared me outta my mane!" ...and did she execute it. A strange sound of something revving filled the space. A "click" could be heard. "Twilight! Won't you look at this!" -- exclaimed Pinkie excitedly and tried to shake the ball that was Twilight. Who uncurled and took a good look at everything. No more was the world what it might or might not have been, just a simple plane of some unknown material. Above it was the simple, ordinary sky with ordinary stars and an ordinary moon. Wait, the moon wasn't ordinary. In fact, no ordinary celestial body is square. The moon, however, was. Instead of round it was square. "What". That was all poor Twilight could say, before her brain initiated the Purple Screen Of Death procedure, and then a reboot. "Oh no! YOU! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!!!" Ju-u-ust kidding, Pinkie, this critical process didn't die! Rather it froze temporarily, before it resumed. And, before Pinkie could express her immense rage at whoever could have been guilty for Twilight's misery (could anyone?), the laughter from before rang out again. Boy, what a hysterical laughter it was! Whoever was laughing that hard didn't die, only because, if she had died, there would have been night no more. "P... Pinkie! Do you hear that?.. Isn't it?.. Princess Luna???" And her it was indeed, rolling on the ground laughing not so far away from the two: "Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha-a-a!" -- did the night princess holler, her fore hooves clutching to her stomach, for naturally did such an extreme guffaw hurt! "Now, -- squinted Pinkie Pie, -- where'd I see that one befo-o-ore?.." She remembered Rainbow Dash howling with an almost exactly same laughter, back when she'd run into her, searching for Twilight. "Yes, I do remember, thank you a lot! Now, if you would kindly shake Her Majesty back to her royal senses, please!" "Who? -- gave Twilight a start. -- Me?" "No, Twilight, the One Behind It All!" "Who?" "No! The One Behind It All is not Who, silly head! Can't you tell 'em apart? You're supposed to run a library!" "Pinkie, what!.. Huh-h-h, Pinkamena Diana Pie, please, stop screwing with my mind! Who's the one behind this all?" "No!" A pause followed. Then Twilight asked, confused out of her skull: "What??!" "Neither!" "...Pinkie!.." "NO! Do I look like the One Behind It All?? He's not even a pony!.." "Pinkie, I am dead serious here right now. You had better stop goofing around and, please, help me to fix all this insanity, or you are no friend of mine any further, ya hear!!!" Wow! That's a lot for one to take upon himself, no kidding! "O-o-oh-h-h my!.. -- interrupted them Princess Luna, having somewhat caught her breath and still panting heavily. -- By our sister... Twilight!.." "Please, Your Majesty! -- pleaded Pinkie, concerned, -- breathe and choke with laughter not, for Equestria shall not bear its princess' penetration!" "Wow, Pinkie, -- noted Twilight, amazed, -- where'd you learn such royal a language from?" "Thou hast no idea, Twilight..." -- muttered Pinkie thoughtfully, smiling brightly afterwards. Twilight did not succeed in holding it in and burst out giggling, and then cackling too. And did the merry laughter fill the boring plane of the unknown material under the square moon! And did it echo throughout the land, and there did be much happiness and fun! "Ah! -- sighed Twilight contentedly. She was lying on her back, relaxed, filled not with determination, but with mirth, a happy smile on her face. -- Have I told you, how happy I feel right now!" "Sure, Twilight! -- answered Pinkie, lying near her head to head, the angle between their bodies obtuse. -- I would be lying, if I told you hadn't". "But thou art lying, Pinkie", -- made Luna a notion absent-mindedly. Her Majesty did not disdain lying along with her subjects, not after she had had such hearty two lungfuls of laughter watching one of said subjects rip reality to pieces, then freak out because of it, and then... Well, suffice it to say, she had seen Twilight's misadventures from above. Despite her mood Twilight could not help but cringe ever so slightly at Pinkie's extremely bad pun. Her smile did not falter, however, for her tired brain could not worry itself and work up over anything that could nag at her overly logical mind. Her discovery been made known, she felt she deserved her time to be relaxing. With Pinkie, no less. And with Princess Luna. Strange, she thought. Reality did turn out to be a mere illusion, but not the kind of an illusion she would've expected... "Well, most definitely was it an entertainment to, how ye say, "hang out" with you, but, alas, it is our time to set the moon, -- decreed the lunar princess, as everyone got up. -- Therefore we must leave you". "But, Princess Luna-a-a!" -- whined Pinkie, as a filly would. Twilight only chortled upon this: "Pinkie, it really is time for us to wake up". "But, Twilight! WHERE ELSE CAN YOU HAVE SO MUCH FUN!!!" Twilight only smiled: "Where else, if not out of beds!" "But we are out of beds!" -- answered Pinkie to her. "Huh?" "Yeah, if we were in beds... -- she paused, intrigue intensifying, -- ...would we stand on top of this rock?.." Princess Luna seemed to have caught what Pinkie was trying to say, and tried to stifle giggles with a hoof. "Pinkie, -- came out Twilight's reply a bit flatly. -- We are standing on top of this... -- she knocked her hoof a couple of times on the unknown material this plane was made of. -- Well, whatever this is. What is it, anyway?" "Why, Twilight! -- grinned Pinkie so widely Twilight all stiffened up internally. -- Isn't it obvious?! We are out of beds, because we are not inside this... bedrock!" Twilight's face fell in an unsatisfied fashion, as yet another "rim-shot" rang out above the plane of bedrock, while Princess Luna gave up on trying to stifle her laughs and guffawed openly now. "Yes, it is time for us to go", -- muttered Twilight, as she lifted her fallen face and reattached it to its rightful place. As the lunar princess finally calmed down and got ready to perform the waking, Twilight glanced at the world around her for the last time: "I will miss my discovery", -- she whispered. "Do not, Twilight! -- cheered her Pinkie. -- Just imagine, how much fun we could have all together, when we wake up!" "But I wish I'd really made a discovery! Pinkie! Do you realise the time I'd spent researching this subject?!" -- exclaimed she. "Oh, worry not, my nerdy friend!" "I am not "nerdy"!" -- muttered Twilight under her breath, a slight frown clouding her face features. Pinkie just smiled, finding her frown all too adorable. Were any shippers here... But that won't happen. Not in this story, anyway. "Get prepared, o ye ponies, to meet the real reality! -- announced Princess Luna. -- May your mood remain as good, as can be, from the sun's rise till its setting! -- she activated her horn, which glowed bright white. -- So end this bizarre dream and start a new morning!" SPELL ACTIVATED! * The bright white light enveloped everything one could see. All visible things faded into it. * Everypony felt themselves losing the grip on reality... * No more could they see. No more perceive. * Instead they felt themselves having to make up, what was happening and going to happen. * That was the feeling one might get upon their waking up... TSSSSSHHHHSHHHHPTS! Twilight flickered her eyes open slowly. Before her sight came a vision of a desk, littered with scrolls, books et al.. For some time she stayed rested at the desk, until she finally tore her head off it and shook it. Yes, it was a desk. Her desk, to be precise. She turned and looked around: she was in her library. "Huh?.." Was it really... just... a dream? Dazed, she'd sit like this, in a strange trance, Celestia knows for how long... Her train of thought was interrupted, however, when a baby dragon came in. He was muttering something and carrying some items needed for his chores. Upon seeing Twilight up he turned his attention to her and exclaimed with a bright face: "Oh, hi, Twilight, good morning! Man! Here I thought you'd be sleeping till the sunset! -- and he approached her. -- Man, you must be hungry, aren't you? Are you OK? You stayed up so long last night! I'd thought, you'd have worked yourself... down to the head-bone!" -- as he said that, trying to hide his grin, he pointed at her unicorn horn. At the mention of her "head-bone" Twilight flinched: "Spuh... S-Spike! D... did ya... really? Just make... that pun?" -- she asked, incredulous and a bit suspicious. There had to be NO way puns still were trying to plague her life like that! All Spike did was laugh: "Ha-ha! Cheer up, Twilight! -- he cried out. -- Why don't you go take a rest from aw-w-all these books, huh? C'mon, Twi! Since when haven't you been outside recently?" -- he made to take a grip on her and to lead her to the door. "Spike! -- tried Twilight to interrupt him. -- A breakfast should be nice, shouldn't it?" At this Spike stopped with a start and said, embarrassed: "Oh, y-yeah, right! I'm on my way!" -- and he zipped to the kitchen. Meanwhile Twilight took her time to wrap her head around what had happened. She looked at the scroll she'd been napping on. Written on it were the very words she remembered herself to write down: "Therefore reality, as we perceive it, might not be what it seems to be..." Did... did that mean?.. "Here's your breakfast!" -- zipped Spike in with a meal. "Thanks..." -- thanked him Twilight absent-mindedly, as a thought was ringing through her head: "Does that mean, I was making a research on it?" As she ate her breakfast, she flipped through her endless notes, all on the subject of reality's possible unreality. There even was a spell sample to demonstrate its feebleness... "No way! -- Twilight thought to herself. -- I... I!.. I must be going insane!" After she finished her meal, she decided first-hoof to test the spell out to see, if it really worked. As Spike had told her, she went out. Poniville was hustling and bustling, as the normal life was going on. Everything normal, nothing unusual. Finally Twilight found a not so much crowded place to test her spell. There was a reason she chose for less ponies to witness this. She wasn't really sure herself, if anything she'd dreamt of was actually real events taking place. Tell she about it all -- would anypony actually believe her? She unfolded the slip of paper containing the spell and prepared to put it to the test. What would come out of it?.. "Well, -- she muttered through her teeth, -- come what may..." -- Her horn flashed: "Here goes nothing!.." But before it started to show any signs of working... "Hi-i-i the-e-ere, Twi-i-ili-i-ight!!!" Twilight only registered, she was tackled to the ground by somepony with a shrill voice. And a pink puffy mane. "Oh, Twilight! Can you belie-e-eve what I dreamt this morning about!" -- Pinkie all but shone with excitement, her smile finding few room on her face, so big it was. Surprisingly, she wasn't ranting. Twilight even took an appropriate pause, before finally asking, a bit annoyed: "Let me guess, Pinkie. Were there puns in this dream?" "Yes!" -- elicited Pinkie excitedly. "Her Lunar Majesty?" "Yes!!" "Me freaking out?" "Yes!!!" Twilight paused, trying to remember anything else... "I had exactly same things too". "Well! Guess what!!!" -- yelled Pinkie out. Then began waiting expectantly. ... Finally Twilight gave in: "Ye-e-es, Pinkie?" "You. Aren't. Gonna... BE-LIE-E-EVE IT!!! -- truly did her excitement know no bounds! She got off of Twilight and started bouncing, her eyes closed. -- I may just explode before I even told you what!.." "Pinkie-ie-ie!!! -- screamed Twilight. -- What is it?!" Pinkie stopped her bouncing and opened her eyes: "Too excited to tell! Sorry! He-hee! Just, uh... S-start this spell, m-maybe?" -- she asked, as if disturbed by something. Twilight squinted and tried to find a spark of mischief in those devious blue eyes of her... but found none. She sighed and proceeded to performing the spell again... AND THAT'S HOW TWILIGHT SPARKLE SUMMONED a dog that would annoy every citizen of Equestria for the rest of this story! AND THAT'S ALL, FOLKS! "Wai-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-it!!!" Out of nowhere Pinkie Pie appeared and stared at somepony inexistent... "Don't you behave like you're not here! -- tried she talking to no one. -- I know, what you did!" -- and she continued staring angrily at... urm... someone?.. Which... she was accusing?.. -- "You won't bear to write this nonsense all over again! -- she spoke very slowly, stretching her words. -- Because you're tired!" -- a pause. -- "WILL YOU STOP DOING THAT?! I'm trying to monologue here! Hello-o-o! Your narration only disrupts it and makes it sound, like YOU are NOT part of the story!!! [taking breath] Anyway... As I was about to say: you think, you may just LEAVE it all?!.. Leave the story hanging?!" Look, Pink... "No, you look here, Mr The One Behind It All!" -- but that was all she could force herself to say... No matter, how hard she tried to speak... Mwa-ha-ha! Words won't leave her mouth! "M-m-m! M-m-m!!!" -- muffled screams of indignation could be heard. But were they really to be meaningful? If anyone remembers, wasn't the second chapter spent trying to get the story back on track, huh?.. Pinkie made to proceed resenting... but then remembered something: "Yeah, ri-i-ight, it sure was!" Then... obviously... i-it is unwise to make this story longer, than it is going to turn out to be?.. Right?.. Pinkie looked with puppy-dog eyes. She, um... She's clearly unsatisfied... But... w-well... What can be done? Can anything?! Is this story really just to make Pinkie happy?! What about "Sad" or "Tragedy" stories?!! ARE THEY REALLY NOT AN OPTION?!!!.. ...Meh. Was worth a shot, though... "No, I mean, it's OK, I-I j-just... -- hey, did that pony just speak??! -- Uh... Um... w-w-well, y-y-yes, I-I m-mean... I w-won't, if... -- she sniffed. -- ...G... go ahead and... -- another sniff, -- ...d-do it!.. W-why wontcha, huh?" -- damn, sometimes a narrator just can't do their job! Why, oh, why can't they just hug and comfort a sad pony?! "W-why, th-th-thank y-you, M-mis... ter!" -- another sniff -- and no more narration! Come here!.. "Hello?.." Twilight Sparkle looked around, confused. Had... had nothing changed?? Incredulous, she stared at everything around her and tried to figure out, what had happened. Reality did not seem to be any different from what she'd observed. "Huh. W-well... -- the words wouldn't come. -- O-one more... time?.. I guess?.." But, before she could even try to proceed to spell-casting... "Oink!" -- honestly, that was supposed to be a chortle. A very grunting chortle. As if someone had been trying to stifle it... "Whee! Whee!" -- now it was a literal pig squeal... Eh-heh-heh!.. B-before it actually started to resemble a normal laughter... Yeah, "normal"... Words will do no justice here to the live sound of this... erm... yeah, beautiful laughter! To say, someone was dying of it, would be just plain amateurish. No, that someone was literally rolling on the ground, breathing in a broken breath, unable sometimes to properly inhale, stopping breathing for a couple of lo-o-ong seconds; then extruding yet another squeal of hearty laughter!.. ...Uh. L-l... let us stop here and now, before this story loses its narrator!.. Eh-heh-heh-heh... Heh... heh. ... ... . . . T-Twilight turned to look around and see, who that could possibly be -- only to find... "P??!.. Princess Luna??!!!" The poor princess had been exhausted. She lay with a smile stretched, tired. Internally, however, she was still laughing! If there had been a laughter hell... Poor Princess, let's end her sufferings! Akhem-khem, that is, when this story ends, which will end, when Twilight... uh... well, let's proceed, shan't we? Eh-heh-heh!.. A-a-anywa-a-ay!.. There is no telling, how close Twilight was to giving an actual screen of death! She threw the slip with the spell hard to the ground (which succeeded somehow despite it being just a piece of paper...) and started to stomp it. Whoa, Twilight!.. She then picked it up with her magic and incinerated it. Then resurrected it and burnt it again. And again. And again! And again... And... OK, Twilight, please, stop it now. "A-a-ah-h-h!!!" -- was Twilight screaming, ready to take it no more. Oops! She then literally blew on the spot... Er, ex... cuse?.. "Oh my Celestia-a-a! -- managed Her Majesty to shriek, then somehow to get a hold of herself. -- That sure was an entertainment, no kiddin'!" -- as she was saying that, she... ... ... SHE. TOOK. A DISGUISE. OFF... ...Applejack. For this whole time... this was Applejack?! "Huh, welp, Twah-ilight, are ya satisfah-ied with what ya got, eh? -- asked Applejack with a mild smirk on her freckled face. -- Dinn't Ah-i tell ya Ah-i had somethin' up mah-y Stetson or what? Heh, so much for the "reality's an illusion" thing, I guess?" And with that she proceeded to her unfinished work. ...But wait! Reality's been a dream, and the real reality!.. Is it?.. WHAT IS IT??! ...Twilight woke up. In her library. Yet again. "And why have I a feeling, that I am still dreaming somehow?.." -- asked she, not really surprised. She hopped onto her hooves and walked to the table. This time she woke up in her bed, which probably meant something. Or didn't. On the table still was all that paper stuff from before. Here was her research... Here was the spell... "No, -- she said simply and pushed it away angrily. -- Just NO! No more "reality", thanks!" -- she spat. "What was that, Twilight?" -- came in and asked her a sleepy Spike, yawning. "Say, Spike... -- began Twilight, somewhat creepily. -- What if I told you... reality was a mere illusion?" "Be it what it may, Twilight, if you ask me, -- grumbled Spike. -- Did you even sleep? Just look at yourself!" Twilight wouldn't bother herself and do as told... but she really had a look of a mare that hadn't had enough sleep. And so had Spike, though not a look of a mare. Because he was a dragon. "Spike, listen: if "reality" is just an illusion... then how about I zap you?!" "Huh?! -- gave Spike a start. -- Twilight! W-wait! Y-you're tired! Y-you've got to get some sleep!" But Twilight was already charging her horn... "No-o-o!" -- screamed Spike and took off. "Oh, Spike, no, you don't!" -- shook her head Twilight, giving chase. ...Then she stopped. An even more brilliant idea visited her mind: "Oh! I must be really going insane! -- and she laughed. As if crazed. Boy!.. -- Why should I zap Spike??!" "Yeah, you shouldn't zap me, Twilight! -- peaked Spike from outside warily. -- What you should is probably get some sleep! -- and he entered the room he had left, carefully approaching a frazzled Twilight. -- Please... -- he put his claw over her shoulder, -- go with me, won't you?" Silence. "Uh, Twilight?" "Should I really go?.." -- asked Twilight, her voice even more crazy, than before. "Um... y-yes?" "I should really... -- having said that, she moved, apparently into her bedroom, -- ...really zap myself INSTEAD!" Which she did. With an audible "zap!". "NO!!! TWI-I-ILI-I-IGHT!!!.." * WORRY NOT, FOLKS! TWILIGHT DID NOT ELIMINATE HERSELF! * WHAT SHE DID WAS MERELY AN ILLUSION... * NO. * INSTEAD OF AN ILLUSION HOW ABOUT... [Twring!] * ...FICTION? FICTION... SHATTERED?.. To my most faithful student. Dear Twilight! Heart full of sorrow and regret, I, Princess Celestia, your -- I dare hope -- good friend and the elder sister to Princess Luna, am writing these lines to express my most inexpressibly deep and sincere regrets toward your unutterable misadventures! From now on it is with the most watchful eye, that I shall supervise up to the smallest drop the amount of cider or anything able to substitute for it (for the purpose of inebriation prevention), which my sister should take at any given period of joining any festivity involving beverages of varying degrees of hardness. Should she, if ever, take a dose of such inebriating a beverage outside aforementioned festivities' scope, I shall make absolutely sure (be it allowed for me to drop the formal writing for a moment, Twilight), that she should be properly supervised as well. In any case, my hope is, you have not suffered anything I should regret more, than I can bear. Your dreams shall henceforth be kept impenetrable for any instance of what could strike you as "illogical" of any degree, lest your mind "get screwed" (please, forgive my writing, I am pissed off at my sister!). Your dreams, as per last sentence up to this point herein, shall be under aforementioned decree, until any new considerations by me and/or those I will be keeping my trust to take aforementioned considerations in are taken (worry not, Twilight, to put it simply, aforementioned decree is not forever and only to repay you for your recent misadventures, which arose from... well, as a princess, I must be precise and impeccable legal-wise... Sorry). My castle is always open to you (for the purpose of hospitality)! I will look forward to seeing you and talking to you personally, and I wish you to get well! So be it! With best regards, Princess Celestia. P. S.: Sister will get punished, worry you not! It shouldn't have been screwed with your mind like that! P. P. S.: I wish I had been there! Sister drunk or not, I am never to pass up an opportunity to celebrate with my subjects and friends! P. P. P. S.: Don't tell Luna I said I wanted to have joined! P. P. P. P. S.: Forget it... THAT'S ALL, FOLKS! Author's Note So, yes, Her Lunar Majesty did have her share of fun in all this... what even WAS this, ANYWAY??! ...Ahem-ahem, so, she has screwed with both Twilight's and ours minds... But she had been tipsy, what do you want from me? It is a great get-together time partying with subjects/friends, is it not? In A-A-ANY case! Did you, guys, enjoy reading this? Did you laugh? Do you want a friendship lesson? Do you see a lesson in here?? Randomness, randomness, may you not screw with our minds! I wish I could say, I had been smoking weed while writing the reality-shattered part... Because I most certainly didn't! So why is it even so... brain-cooking? I don't know it myself! There are references throughout this whole thing! Can you find them all? Some puns were said before I did by Merrelltwins in their "The punny life" videos (for the purpose of copyright). Unless they, as the creators and original publishers of the videos, state otherwise, I may have these puns used. Should, if ever, litigation arise, each party will have the right to defend their use (and prohibiting such use, if applicable) of the aforementioned videos' contents. (Still writing like Celestia would... And I'm not even a lawyer! Nor have I studied Law!..)
