The Conversion Bureau: A Pony's Revenge
Was it Bullying? Yeah kinda
The Conversion Bureau: A Pony's Revenge
By: No sh*t sherlock
Chapter 1: Was It Bullying? Yeah Kinda
The first time I saw Freeze Drop, It was a pretty normal day of school. And I use the word "normal" very lightly. The island of nation of Equestria rising from the depths of the ocean and the Conversion Bureaus opening were the farthest thing from normal, but everyone seemed to get used to it. Seeing a couple of ponies on the street became the norm if you were going out.
However, even in 2025 seeing a convert in a school was very rare. Like me, Freeze Drop was a Freshman. A 14 year old who under went conversion had to be really fucked up. At the time he was the only convert in the entire school. Naturally people gravitated towards him.
Now I was that type of guy that everybody liked to see around. When I was in the room, they knew something funny would happen. I accomplished my status by basically getting on everybody about every possible thing I could find. I got on people for everything from hair, to clothes, physical appearance and even intelligence and the big one; their sexual orientation. I was in no way perfect, but I had an incredibly confident voice and spoke really fast. For some reason that kept people from stepping up to me.
Since I talked shit about everybody, people would try and join me. It was funny how they'd go along with me just to avoid me humiliating them. I loved it. I tried to keep my shit talking pretty even, so I would talk about someone then move on to the next one. Yeah I was pretty much a bully and an A class asshole, but damn, those reactions were so funny. There were some people who followed what the internet said and tried to just ignore it, but my persistence eventually would make them crack. Then others would try to form some kind of a come back, but like I said, I would shut that down right away.
It was the end of second period when I first saw Freeze Drop. The moment people saw the convert walk through the double doors, they turned to me, eager to see what I would do. They all knew of my hatred for all things pony related. The crowd of people split as I walked towards the pony. He was a light blue unicorn with a dark blue mane and tail. Even by pony standards I knew he was small. I knew that unicorns possessed powerful magic and if he used some on me he could embarrass or even hurt me. But there was a sort of unwritten street rule about ponies using magic on humans and if Freeze Drop did, he could be killed. Surprisingly, since I was unable to come up with a suitable first insult, I decided the funny thing for now would be just to play it nice.
"Hey buddy!" I greeted him cheerfully, with the fakest smile ever. "Whats going on, man?"
"Nothing." He said. Jesus, this kid sound so depressed. I should've taken that as a hint to just leave him alone. But of course I didn't.
"You just move here?" I asked harmlessly.
"Yes"
"You like it so far?"
"Its alright."
"Cool. Well it was nice meeting you. I'm Kyle Maye. I guess I'll see you later."
I turned around to find the crowd of people were staring at me, disappointed they had nothing to laugh at. It bothered me that people were so intrigued by me talking to a pony. Especially when they knew why I hated them.
"The fuck ya'll looking at?" That did a pretty good job of dispersing the crowd. I looked up at the clock and cursed. I had a minute to get to my next class.
I had two more classes to get through before lunch. I sat through each one completely unable to focus which was odd for me. When it came to classes I was usually the smartest one in the room. Hey, there can be intelligent assholes.
When it was lunch time I decided it was time to introduce Freeze Drop to the real me. I walked over to his table and sat down next to him. I had made sure to load my tray up with as much meat and dead animal parts as I could. I slammed the tray down down on the table so that the food rose off of it a little. Freeze Drop stared at the tray for a good long time.
"Oh you hungry?" I asked as I held up a hamburger.
"No Im fin-"
"Here try some!" I slammed the burger against his mouth and rubbed it in. I push the back of his head forward as he keeps his mouth closed tight as a vault door. All the eyes in the entire room turn towards us as smash the last bit in to face
*Cough* *Cough* What are you doing!?" He looked like he was going to be sick. Combined with the look of confused at my quick change of attitude made it hilarious!
"Yeah I don't really like ponies too much, especially the faggot converts like you." I spat
"Why so friendly earlier then?" He was still wiping grease from his mouth.
"I thought it'd be funny. I'll see you later, Fag Drop." I'll admit that it wasn't my best line, but it was decent enough. I flipped the rest of the contents of my tray on him as I got up to leave.
From that moment on he became the target for me. The name "Fag drop" would eventually stick to him for whatever reason. Messing with him made me evolve into a more physical bully. When I saw him in the halls I would grab him by his tail and drag him for a while. I'd pull his horn, which turns out to be a really sensitive spot on a unicorn. In our third year when we got full lockers I even started stuffing him inside them. Nothing like getting back to the basics.
Probably the meanest (and most dangerous) thing I've done to him was forcing him to actually eat some meat. You see I had tried to get him to eat some for months. On days when they were serving a particularly meaty option at lunch, I would take whatever vegan option he brought from home, hoping that he would be hungry enough to go buy a lunch. It finally dawned on me to just force it down.
We we're both now Seniors. My "friend", Derrick (a fellow asshole)and I waited in the bathroom for him. I had a chicken sandwich in a container that was still hot.
When he entered the bathroom, Derick closed the door on him.
When he saw me leaning menacingly on one of the stalls his expression turned to the depressed one that I was so used to seeing.
"What is it now, Kyle?"
"Nothing, I just want you to get some protein in your system." I pulled out the sandwich and removed the bread.
"You're going to make me eat your meat in the bathroom?!" He gasped in terror.
Derrick shook his head and we both sighed.
"You have to make everything sound gay?" He asked.
"Well isn't that whats about to happened?" he tilted his head, confused.
"NO!...Well yes...not really, kinda. ARGH just forget it! Bring him over here!"
Derrick stepped away from the door and dragged Freeze Drop by his mane towards me. He pulled his mouth open while I put a piece of the chicken inside. He then just kept pushing his mouth open and close a bunch of times, only stopping for me to put more of the sandwich inside. After a little while of it, I could see the chicken was now just mushy brown shit.
"That's good enough." I pulled Derrick off him.
That day I learned one very important lesson. Giving a pony meat equals a VERY bad idea.
Freeze Drop fell to the ground, coughing and choking. His legs convulsed like he was having a seizure.
"Hhhmgh *cough* aaghgh *choke* ughghh..."
He finally went silent with one eye closed and one half open. He puked his guts out, including the mushy chicken.
"Yo, Freeze Drop... Ya' alright?"
"...Hguh..."
After that he was silent and didn't move for a while. After about five minutes Derrick and I exchanged nervous glances, then looked back to him.
Derrick started nodding as he grasped the situation.
"We killed him."he said calmly. "WE FUCKING KILLED HIM!!" He repeated less so.
He started running around with his hands in the air. I just stared at Freeze Drop. Luckily for all of us, he wasn't actually dead.
"Ohhh ahhhgh" He eventually groaned and moaned.
"Holy shit man, we're saved!" I shouted. I scooped him up and handed him to Derrick.
"Why you giving him to me?" He retracted his hands.
"Take him to the hospital! You're faster than me!"
"Hell no! I'll get arrested! They're cracking down on violence against ponies!"
"Just say you found him like this in an alley and saw some HLF members driving away from him."
"Alright fine." He turned with Freeze on his back and ran out of the bathroom.
After that I didn't see him again until a couple weeks before graduation. When he came back, I laid off him for a while. I only shoved him inside a locker once. Old habits do die hard.
We graduated in June of 2029, I was one of the only humans up there. Through the years more and more students underwent the conversion. All the ponies looked disgusted at me while I walked across the stage. Mostly because of how mean I was, but there was another reason too. Last November a group called the HLF had bombed nine conversion bureaus. It really lighted a fire between ponies and humans and turned us against each other. Most ponies assumed that if it was a human, it was an HLF member.
It kinda of hurt my feelings to see how they thought of me... Nah just playing, I didn't care what a bunch faggot ponies thought.
After Graduation it became very rare to see any other humans. There were hardly any jobs left so I raided a couple stores to get food and water. I lived in my converted aunts house, where I had lived through middle and high school. My mom had died years ago when her plane impacted with the magical border surrounding Equestria and my dad was never there to start with. After graduation my aunt moved to Equestria and let me have whatever was left of her possessions
Whenever I went out I noticed that ponies would follow me and bother me. They would ask me stupid questions like "When are you getting converted?" and "Why don't you go to a conversion bureau?". Most of my answers would either be "Fuck off" or "Fuck you".
One of scariest moments of my life was when I opened the door one day and saw like twenty ponies standing outside. What really made it scary was that I thought I saw a certain pony in the back. I went to get a bat and they and they cleared out, but the thought of who I saw really spooked me.
It was April 1st, 2030 when things got really bad for me. There was a knock at the door and with the bat behind my back, I went to answer it. As soon as the door was open, I immediately dropped my weapon in shock.
"Oh my god."
Freeze Drop was standing there with an evil looking smile on his face. He shot something from a tube into my right arm and my body felt heavy. I very quickly felt too heavy to stand and I fell on my right side. I had heard about some ponies forcing conversion upon reluctant humans. My heart raced and I looked down at my hand...except it wasn't there. A light blue hoof had replaced what used to be my right hand.
I start to panic. My body starts to shake and convulse as other changes begin to happen. I manage to glance up at Freeze Drop with a terrified look on my face. He stares back down at me with an sad frown.
"You deserve so much more than this." He says bitterly. As I think back on everything I did to him from my nice home in Cloudsdale, I'd say hes damn right.
