To my dearest Scarlet.
Me and the rest of the boys up here in the forty-fifth heard the news this morning my scarlet rose. The Changelings finally decided to lay down they're arms and left their trenches, hooves and wings high and shaking. Captain says the war for us is practically over, and that this little outpost us in the forty-fifth armored division called home, should be abandoned by the end of next week. It's a shame too, the engineers just finished laying down those landmines general Soarin asked for two days ago. I bet they aren't thrilled they have to dig those things back up on the west side of the base. Perhaps it's for the best though, the signs they put up are really hard to see at night.
But my love, that's not why I'm writing to you today. Do you remember that promise you made me swear when I got on the train leaving Manehatten? You know, the one where you made me promise to write you about my day and say nothing but the Celestial truth in each letter. An' when I told you I'd try, you gave me that puppy-eyed look you always do, knowing full well I could never say no to those beautiful emerald eyes.
Well, Scarlet. I lied. I lied in nearly every letter I sent back home to you. I sugar coated the entire bit, because if I told you every little thing that went on over here you'd worry your pretty scarlet mane off... Doesn't stop me from feeling guilty about it though. I guess that's why I'm writing this final letter. I want to make everything right, and let me tell ya. The ponies at the draft office, are bucking liers.
Basic was Tartarus, the tank I ponied with Slips and Clink was cramped and hot, and I feel like an absolute piece of manure. We were trained to kill bugs, that's it. But you know what we finally saw after a couple weeks of training to drive that brick? Ponies, those bugs used their Celestia damned magic to look like ponies. Not just anypony either! They looked like Ma, and Pa, Sis... and even you... Goddess I don't know how they even knew about you my love. But they did.
It was so real that I really thought it was you running out of that burning hive our flame troops torched a month or two back. Smoke was billowing out of the cave those wretches called a home, a bright green flash caught the attention of our driver Slips and he told me the degree. And when I turned the tanks barrel I saw you. Your beautiful tan coat was covered in soot, your mane was disheveled and your eyes. Goddesses your eyes were so wide and full of despair, and your whole body shook the same way it did when you woke me up thinking somepony was robbing our flat. I had half a mind to climb out of that tin can and wrap you in my hooves once more.
To comfort and kiss you, to tell you everything was going to be alright. That we were going home right that instant. I didn't even hear Slips barking orders at me to fire. Nor did I really register Clink taking the controls out of my hooves and doing it for me. ~~And I~~ ~~I saw you're~~ I really wish I could unsee what I saw that day. You're pupils turn to pinpricks as the fifty barked to life. I nearly killed Clink before Slips pulled me off him and pointed out the green smear left behind from whatever was left of the imposter.
Ever since that day, whenever I close my eyes I still see your horrified face. I know it wasn't actually you but... I can't help but feel like I took part in your murder that day my love. Even when I got your letters every week since it still felt like some part of you was dead. Maybe a small part of me died that day instead. It just hurts reliving it. Clink says he understands why I went off on him that day and accepted my twelve separate apologies. Said he saw me gun down a few bugs that looked like his family and that he felt obligated to return the favor.
I still can't shake those thoughts from my mind, however. All those "ponies" I just... gunned down. My dreams don't even spare me from the agony. Some nights, I dream that I'm pointing the barrel of old Betsy at ma or pa. Sometimes its that mare from the grocery store. Others it's that little neighbor colt from down the street. The one with the basketball. But recently, it's been you. An' all the dreams have one thing in common. I'm still here, on the front, firing shells at ponies I came out here to protect and quite honestly. I'm not sure what's real anymore.
I'm so sorry my love... But I ain't the same tough little colt that left you all those months back. I can't sleep without hearing the distant sounds of machine gun fire and artillery barrages from the forward trenches. Even though the guns stopped firing early this morning, I still hear the distant cracking of shells piercing through the sky. I swear, even now as I look out my tent towards the sunset I can still see the tracers fly high into the veil of coming night.
But today, we finally brought peace back to Equestria, and tonight I think I'll try and find some peace for myself. A nice night walk might just allow me such. I love you my dearest Scarlet, with all my heart. And I'm so sorry for being the pony to take away all those years of happiness we've planned for with each other. Tell Ma and Pa I love em, and sis that I miss her most of all. I'll be home soon.
With all the love in the world.
~Sergeant first class Mint Cutter, forty-fifth armored division.
Author's Note
I hope you enjoyed the read! This is my first completed dark short story, but I feel it only right that it's this subtle suicide note.
I hope you all have a fantastic day!