My Friend is Dead

by Frost E Bear

Rating: everyone
Tags: Princess Luna, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Starlight Glimmer, Twilight Sparkle, Slice of Life, Alternate Universe
Length: 2721

A skeleton shows up to become Twilight's new friend

One night, Twilight answers the door. It was the biggest mistake of her life.
Now Princess Luna has given her the responsibility to teach friendship to an animated corpse. Through trial and error, the cold heart skeleton (who doesn't have a heart) might warm up to having a few companions along his long life after death.

Published 2018-08-30 06:40:01 UTC
Last updated 2018-08-30 06:40:01 UTC

Unexpected Visit

Unexpected Visit

A loud knocking echoed within the crystal castle of Twilight Sparkle. Said alicorn groggily waltzed to the entryway. A prolonged journey as she was forced to traverse through multiple rooms and trek down several flights of stairs. Eventually she made it to her destination and opened the door.

“Heya,” greeted possibly the most unsettling sight Twilight has ever witnessed, “I’m Frost, this is Bug, we’re looking for a Twilight Princess. You haven’t seen her, have you?”

Twilight stared, wide eyed, at what appeared to be a talking skeleton and a pony shaped tree.

After some hesitation; Twilight slowly closed the door an immediately locked and barricaded it with a wardrobe, a chair, and a desk lamp.

“SPIKE!” she screamed down the halls, “SPIKE! WAKE UP! I NEED A LETTER SENT TO THE PRINCESSES!”

“No, ah, wha?” Starlight wondered out wearing pajamas, “What’s going on out here?”

Spike dragged himself out into the hall from his room only to fall over, returning to his slumber on the cold floor.
Twilight replied to this protest with a bucket of water.

“Look, I just opened the door to a talking skeleton asking where I was,” Twilight grumbled, “As if he didn’t know who he was talking to…”

Starlight yawned, “Oh I’m sure it was just your imagination. It’s like, what, 4 AM?”

Twilight glanced at the clock, “3 AM, actually… but that doesn’t change my point! I know what I saw! I had a very good look at them before closing the door!”

“Ok, fine, if we send a letter to the princesses would you let us go back to sleep?”

Twilight nodded.

With that, Starlight managed to get Spike up enough to write a semi-coherent letter which was to be sent straight to Celestia via dragon fire.

“Dear Princess Celestia; I was awoken to a knock on my door and found a living corpse at my door! It said its name was Frost and he was looking for me. I hope you understand how unnerving it is to come across something that should be deceased looking for you and not recognizing you are the person that abomination against nature is looking for! Please send help immediately. Your faithful student, Twilight Sparkle.”

With a swift breath and a puff of smoke, the letter was sent. However, considering it was incredibly late, and the princess in question was most likely asleep, the letter should be replied to in the mor-

A letter materialized within a puff of black flames. Upon the letter was a blue seal with a crescent moon embedded in it. Twilight unraveled the scroll and began reading.

“Dear Twilight; My sister is asleep at this time but fret not, for the night is still my domain even when it is early morning. As for the individual you described in your letter… it seems that you have met one of my loyal servants from before my banishment… Even though I gave him specific orders to remain subtle with your first meeting. I will be there as soon as possible to resolve this mild issue. See you soon, Princess Luna.”

Starlight blinked, slack jawed at what she heard.

“Princess Luna… has a corpse for a servant?”

“A servant she’s had since before she became Nightmare Moon?” Spike pondered, “That sort of raises a few questions…”

“I assure you, we have plenty of answers,” Luna sighed from behind Twilight who nearly jumped out of her skin, “I apologize, Twilight, I had assumed Frost knew the definition of subtle.”

“You also said to be myself,” a confused corpse called, “It’s not everyday I interact with anyone who isn’t already dead. Speaking of which…”

Luna turned with a glare, “Perhaps you should’ve worn a large cloak like I suggested!”

“Oh yeah, show up to a crystal castle covered head to hoof, that’s not suspicious at all,” Frost chattered sarcastically, “That’s like doomsday cult 101!”

“WHELP,” Spike shot up his arms, “I’m going back to bed. See you tomorrow, when you got this crazy stuff out of the way.”
Spike ran to his room, leaving the equine shaped individuals in the room.

“Right… can this wait until morning or…”

“Princess Luna is standing next to a skeleton and a tree pony…” Twilight shouted, “and YOU think this can wait until morning?!”

“It IS very late,” Starlight pouted, “plus we need to get some rest for school tomorrow.”

“I’ll make some coffee and meet you in the map room,” Twilight pulled on Starlight and dragged her to the room which held a glowing map of the world.

Luna and her two servants, not knowing what else to do, followed closely behind. There was a few seconds of awkward silence. Starlight couldn’t decided if she wanted to ask about the skeleton or the tree pony first. Luna patiently waited for Twilight to return, although she did have a foul scowl plastered on her face. Frost, the skeleton, seemed as though he had gone into rigor mortis. Then there was the tree pony who wondered around the room.

“So…” Starlight began, ”What’s your name?”

Her question was directed at the tree pony. Instead of an answer, like she expected, the tree pony merely grunted with a smile.

“His name’s Bug Bear,” Frost stated, “He doesn’t speak as well as you or me so his vocabulary is limited.”

Starlight blinked, “Oh… that’s… interesting.”

Twilight entered the room with a pot of coffee and five cups with saucers. She expertly placed the cups and saucers in front of each person present. However, Frost quickly grabbed the one that was placed in front of Bug.

“Nu-uh, no way! No coffee for this guy! I already have to deal with his never ending energy, never putting him on caffeine again.”

Bug stood up and howled angrily.

“Hell no! You remember last time. I STILL haven’t found my sixth rib cause of you!”

Bug grumbled and sat down again. It was evident that he was not pleased with the circumstance.

“Should I get you some water instead?” Twilight asked the tree pony.

Bug smiled with a growl, causing Twilight to flinch.

“Relax, he doesn’t bite unless you shove something in his mouth,” Frost laughed, “He said water would be nice, thank you.”

Twilight blinked and looked to Luna for help.

Luna waved a hoof, “Well go on, Twilight, we don’t have all night.”

Reluctantly, Twilight ran off to get a glass of water and returned shortly. Bug was happy to have a drink as everyone had poured their coffee. It was only then Twilight realized something important.

“Wait, are you even able to drink coffee?” she asked Frost.

“Of course I can drink coffee,” Frost said slightly offended, “But it does go through me!”

He took his cup and poured the contents in his mouth. Twilight nearly panicked as she ran off to find a mop. Luna prevented her from going further than the doorway. Forcing the jittery unicorn back in the room.

Luna sighed, “He is a jester of sorts, Twilight.” she pointed to the area below Frost.

To Twilight’s surprise, there was not a single drop of liquid near or around him. Looking up, she noticed the coffee did enter Frost’s mouth but was not visible beyond that point. Somehow he was drinking the coffee despite the fact he was literally nothing but bones.

“This raises so many questions,” Twilight whispered in astonishment.

“Does this mean the ‘coffee goes through me’ pun means it makes you have to go to the bathroom?” Starlight inquired.

Frost placed the cup down and refilled it, “Yes.”

“Wait, you go to the bathroom even though you don’t have any organs?” Twilight screeched.

“Yes,” Frost simply replied.

“THAT JUST RAISES FURTHER QUESTIONS!” she screamed.

“Twilight…” Luna moaned, “there are far more pressing matters than your fascination of my servants bodily needs.”

“It is rather creepy,” Frost inquired.

“He shouldn’t even HAVE bodily needs!” Twilight shouted, “He shouldn’t even be able to be drinking that cup of coffee!”

Starlight raised an eyebrow, “It is… very weird… and goes against logic in general. What gives?”

Luna rubbed her temples, “It was a stupid little curse I put on him over one thousand years ago,” she took a sip of her coffee, “I’ve been regretting it ever since I returned.”

Twilight was about to refute that there was no such thing as curses but the fact an animated corpse was drinking coffee inside her castle made of crystal in the same room as a mare who caused temporal rifts and another mare who was believed to be a fictional character within a child’s storybook holding a strange conversation about the corpse while a pony shaped tree happily sucked on a glass of water caused her to realize how nonsensical that would be.

“Uh… Well… can you tell me what your dead yet living servant is doing here?”

Luna glared at Twilight, “He wouldn’t NEED to be here if YOU were not so careless with the artifacts my sister gave you!”

“You mean the six relics that were lend to me?” Twilight was taken aback, “I was SUPER careful with them! They haven’t been stolen, yet, have they?”

“Key word is ‘yet’,” Frost chastised her, “These are powerful artifacts that have the potential to wipe out entire cities. I’d hate to see what you’d do with something that is able to warp reality.”

A familiar laugh echoed in the room. The artifacts Twilight had in her possession floated around the center table.

“Oh look! ALL of the dangerous artifacts are being stolen!” Frost shouted angrily.

Discord materialized on the table with the artifacts floating around him.

“You know, I never did get a reward for winning the scavenger hunt,” Discord maliciously grinned.

“Discord?” Twilight snarled, “What are YOU doing here?”

Luna sighed as she motioned Discord to take a seat… Which he Literally did. Then he sat on a stack of books he pulled out of his arm pit. Which was only the eighth strangest thing Frost had seen, and barely the twenty ninth for Luna. Twilight and Starlight recoiled in disgust.

“Discord was fully aware of the artifacts and how dangerous they were,” Luna began, “He also informed me that you had been endangering the lives of the entire town by playing games with them.”

“We weren’t playing games with them,” Starlight rebutted.

“Scavenger hunt,” Discord sang, causing Starlight to wilt in her seat.

“Had you been anyone else; Frost, here, would have peeled your skin off.”

“That only happened ONE TIME, princess,” Frost yelled, “It was fun though, totally would do it again.”

Twilight was mortified how light Luna said that statement. Looking at the skeleton, she had to wonder what kind of a being would be able to do such a thing and think it was fun. Only for Starlight to answer her question.

“I think a pony can only survive a few seconds before dying of shock,” Starlight pondered, “How long did the screaming last?”

Frost shrugged, “Eh, not that long to be honest. He just sort of screamed in pain and died,” he gestured something falling, “Splat! Blood everywhere! Gave my wardrobe a make over. Pretty hard to get out of cloth. Should’ve worn mithril.”

“Wait, he screamed and died? Did you take it all off at once?! How’d you manage that?”

“Annnd we’re changing the subject!” Twilight interjected, “You were going to punish me for endangering everyone with a scavenger hunt, right Luna?”

Luna blinked, “Yes… I was…” he eyes went over to Frost then to Twilight. It was then Luna had a truly malevolent idea, “I want you to show Frost how the outside world works.”

“What?” both Frost and Twilight shouted.

“Show Frost around town. Have him make friends. Make him comfortable with others.”

Twilight stared at Frost, “That might be difficult.”

“With all intended offense, but,” Frost snickered, “This is the worst idea you’ve ever had.”

Discord gave Luna the relics, “Well I think it’s a wonderful idea!”

“Of course you’d like the idea of a corpse walking around a town of easily frightened foals,” Frost growled.

“Oh you wound me,” Discord feigned innocence, “I merely wish to see Twilight tackle the challenge of helping a cold hearted corpse find a friend.”

“But I don’t have a heart,” Frost chuckled.

Twilight grabbed Luna’s attention, “So you want me to give an animated corpse, who just so happens to be one of your servants, friendship lessons? In broad daylight? Where everyone is afraid of reformed changelings and rubber spiders?”

“You do have several points,” Luna pondered, “No worries. Frost has a large wardrobe to protect himself from the sun. As well as conveniently covering his… bare bones.”

“And the tree pony?” Starlight inquired.

“Bug Bear? Oh he’s no trouble so long as you keep him happy.” Luna said her farewells and wished them luck before teleporting away. Discord decided to leave as well by eating himself out of existence.

“Wait uh ah…” Twilight sighed, “I hope she went to get your wardrobe, Frost.”

“Nah, I got it right here,” Frost pulled out a small rectangle. With a gentle toss, the rectangle grew larger and larger until with was the size of a door. The rectangle then popped outward, turning it into an actual door in the middle of the room. The features were simply a collection of bones encased in ice with a skull for a door knob.

Starlight inspected the door, seeing that it did go anywhere.

“Um, how does this work?”

Frost gave Starlight a deadpanned look as he opened the door, “You can move it wherever you want. I got everything I want inside. Goodnight,” he said before closing the door.

Twilight and Starlight stared at each other for a while. The silence lingered like a thick fog. Bug Bear had fallen asleep on the table, miraculously the only one around able to do so. The two unicorns had much to think about.

“So… giving the dead friendship lessons,” Starlight ended the silence, “Think, maybe, we should inform the others?”

Twilight nodded, “Don’t know if I should have all of them here at once or do individual assessments.”

“Why?”

“Well, considering he’s been princess Luna’s most loyal servant, he might not need Rainbow’s loyalty lessons. He might not need honesty lessons from Applejack but he seemed a bit blunt. And the thought of him with Pinkie…”

The mares shivered at the thought.

“I get it,” Starlight admitted, “Fluttershy might faint or have her animals burry him. Which just leaves Rarity…”

“If anything, she’d make him a mannequin for her dresses. Can’t see much else from her.”

“So…”

“So.”

“Maybe one on one with Fluttershy being last?”

“Yeah, that sounds good,” Twilight approved, “Rainbow should be easiest since she’d compare him to the undead in a couple Daring Doo books.”

“Wait, isn’t Daring Doo real?”

“Yeah, but I assume she fabricates the stories a little bit to keep the audience interested.”

“Makes sense,” Starlight thought, “Pinkie would probably throw him a party of some kind. Might warm him up to the idea of talking to people?”

“I think Applejack would want the dead to stay dead. Crime against nature and all that.”

“Oh yeah, I still get stern glares from her whenever I’m about to cast a spell.”

“She’s a traditionalist, she’ll be a good warmup for Fluttershy… maybe we should bring her with us to help Fluttershy calm down?”

Starlight rubbed her chin, “Definitely.”

“Sounds like a plan!”

“Alright! Good night, Twilight!”

“Good night, Starlight!”

Bug Bear stirred from his slumber with a menacing growl. The two mares jumped back as though he were some kind of beast. Silently, they crept back to their bedrooms, careful not to disturb Bug Bear. Tomorrow was going to be a busy day. They were going to need as much rest as they could get.

As for the door that stood in the center of the room. It was best to ignore it until someone had to move it. No telling what strange madness would happen if Twilight or Starlight did something they weren’t supposed to.

It was a peaceful few hours before they would wake up again to introduce Frost to Rainbow Dash. Oh the nightmareish pranks she would come up with haunted Twilight’s dreams. Much to Luna’s great displeasure.