Author's Note

Hey kids! Want some Depressing Background?
Well if not then this chapter isn't for you.
Please though, if you are feeling down or having bad thoughts talk to someone. Even your cat. Just please don't hurt yourself.
And if haven't gotten the gist yet;
WARNING bad shit ahead aka talks about suicide and death.

3 - Back to the Beginning

Three months prior-

"Are you sure about moving Ash? We've all really enjoyed you being apart of the gym, heck you've probably helped out more here than Cage and he's an actual employee." James said, making sure that Cage could hear him. "You never even told me why you're moving man."

"Listen, James... I just have to leave. Can't really explain the why right now, but this is goodbye." I reach my hand out to shake his and with his usual closeness James turns it into a clasp then shoulder-bump. "Hope both you guys and the gym stay awesome, it's a good place and... you're all good people."

Better people than I could ever deserve.

"You already said 'adios' to that medieval thing you do with the guys across town? I swear man seeing you beat the shit outta Cage when he told ya he could take you in the ring was priceless." James still making sure to dig at Cage while he was within hearing range. "I know we've never really hung out as friends man, but didn't you have a couple of bros over there that you're gonna miss?"

"I-I knew them about as well as you guys. I know I've been distant for most of the time I've been here James, but... Thanks. It was nice knowing all y'all, but I gotta go meet up with my family. You know?" With this I waved my last goodbyes to the other familiar faces as I went out the door.

You know they will just forget you. Give it a week, why bother caring about goodbye?

Perspective of James

"Hey, boss. So Ash finally decided to hit the road?" Cage asked as he walked up to James. "Wonder where he's off to?"

"Said something about going to see his family or something." Seeing Cage's strange expression, he asked, "What's that look for?"

"Well boss, you know how I was looking into him finding some info to prank him with?"

James knew Cage's pranks and the lengths he would go to just to achieve them, the fact that he never full on pranked Ash was kind of a rarity considering that was something that Cage did to everyone with one exception. "Yeah? You thought he was just some nerd into larping, right until we all found out that Medieval MMA was a thing. What about it?"

"Well... Boss I found some shit while looking into him, made me decide to let him be. Real bad shit. H-he ain't gotta family anymore. They all died bout a year and a half back. Some big ass fire that started during a big family reunion got everyone but him." Cage finished looking sober and serious for once.

"Fuck man, what the hell?" James had never really seen Ash smile much, but hell he never looked like some shit like this had gone down. He just always seemed sort of placid, a bit distant maybe but nothing that ever made him think of this bombshell. He couldn't even think of how he'd react to Cage or Ash suddenly being gone let alone his own family. "Where the fuck is he going then?"

That was the last of his goodbyes to make, not that there were many to make in the beginning. Still, those people were the closest he had come to friends in a good while even if they forgot him in a short while. He had given it a good year after making that promise to his old psychiatrist after his last attempt at 'moving,' but everything still felt so... hollow. No job fulfilled him, no romantic partner stayed, no anything seemed to last or make him feel anything. Except for some of the things he had done before, like going to the gym with his brother, training so hard for the tourney so he could make his sister a princess for a day, sitting in the library. These things only brought as much good as they did bad though.

Suddenly he was back with his brother Yewan, feeling more alive than ever with muscles aching and burning as he finished his last rep. They had promised to help whip each other into shape, if for nothing else but to help each get the girl they were pinning after. Still didn't mean they couldn't have a small sibling rivalry going on, seeing who could get the most gains. But all that training didn't help his brother when a beam had fallen on him during the blaze.

Then he was clashing with his opponent in the last match of the tourney, looking for an opening to finish it. He couldn't afford to be hasty though, he had more riding on this than some stupid trophy. Glancing in the stands he saw his little sister Elma waving his personal banner, an emblem of Yggdrasil with the sun and moon on either side with runes saying, 'Sacrifice for Love & Honor.' He was never too much of a religious person, but his parents had gotten him into the whole 'Norse' aesthetic.

Emblem being something like this

With this reinforcement he steeled his resolve and moved to strike... Then he was placing the circlet upon Elma's brow, thus naming her an honorary princess for the rest of the festival. Then he remembered how cold she was, as her casket was closed and lowered into the earth.

He remembered that she was one of the only open caskets that day, as he stood alone with no one but the funeral homes workers nearby. He remembered how cloying the perfumes and chemicals they had used to mask the smell of smoke and burnt bodies was. He did not cry. Not until it was all done and everyone was laid to rest. Then the barely remembered events that followed, paperwork with the banks and funeral home, deciding what to do now, finding himself unable to enter his own home for a week. He was scared of what sights and smells awaited him, of what demons they would summon.

Now he was back in his apartment in his new town multiple states away from home. He had tried piecing his life back together, but he was missing the people he needed to share it with. Maybe even missing a piece of himself. He had gathered all of his personal belongings; a trunk of books both fiction and non, his armor with sword and board, a duffel that he used to store his clothes, and a box filled with memorabilia.

"Don't want to give whoever has to clean this up more grief than needed." He thought to himself as he finished tying one of the few knots he knew by heart. His things were gathered, he had dressed himself up, and his train would soon depart. "I'm sorry Doc, but I've lived my year and nothings changed. I still have no one and nothing left in this world, no one here needs me and no one will miss me when I'm gone."

With that he set up the stool and stepped up. "Unless anyone needs me for anything at all, I will bide you all adieu." Giving the rope an experimental tug, he loosened and tightened it lost in thought. Would Elma and Yewan want to see him like this? No... but they aren't here anymore. Before he could continue with his train of thought though, a bright light filled his vision and suddenly he was falling... falling... and then he was hitting the ground.

And then things got really painful.