A sky blue pegasus flapped through a tree-infested sky blue sky. She was not sleek, this pegasus; in fact, she looked like a lumpy sack of potatoes with wings. An eyepatch covered the left side of her swollen, misshapen face. Parts of her pelt were missing; some of it was burnt away, other places had been shaved away so that wounds could be stitched. Some of her bandages seeped a bright crimson, while others were stark white against her sky blue pelt. Wearing an eyepatch, she lacked depth perception and flew dangerously close to the trees.
This pegasus careened through said trees—with each flap almost ending in catastrophe—until she came to a well. But this was no ordinary well, no. This was an entirely unremarkable well sitting all alone out in the middle of the forest. Long ago, during Equestria’s Civil War, the Lulamoons sought a way to keep peasants safe should the worst happen. So a well was constructed—or at least, what appeared to be a well. What it was was actually a place of sanctuary, of safety, a place for imperiled peasants to seek shelter from the advancing Separatists.
The sky blue pegasus actually crashed into the well, smacking into it. Dazed, she tumbled to the ground with a thump, then she shook her head, grunted, and then barked out a stream of profanity that caused a nearby field mouse to faint in shock. Rubbing her lumpy-potato-bumpy head with one hoof, the sky blue pegasus mare struggled to sit up and she tossed her saddlebags off to one side. Even more vulgarities slipped out, a flood of fornicative adjectives and descriptors that caused shimmering squiggles to gleam in the air around her.
The field mouse would never quite be the same after this encounter.
Staggering about, Rainbow Dash struggled to regain her balance. Woozy, her pupils flexing to a funky, unheard rhythm, she made her way to the well and walked around it a few times, squinting with her unpatched eye. After circling the well a number of times, she finally found the stone she was looking for. She pressed it with her hoof, heard a clunk of stone against stone, and then began turning the crank handle to raise the bucket—but no bucket rose up from the depths.
Instead, with the sound of stone grinding against stone, the well slid off to one side, revealing a circular staircase leading down. Wincing, her lips pressed together, she snatched up her saddlebags, yelped when they hit her wounded sides, and then made her way down the stairs into the darkness below.
After a few moments, there was a metallic clonk from deep within the ground, followed by nothing happening at all. When a brief period of nothing had passed, the well began to move again, and the stones made an awful racket grating against one another. The well returned to its state of disguise, a simple unassuming well sitting in the middle of a verdant forest.
Rainbow hesitated at the door and drew in a deep breath that made her aching ribs feel as though they were getting battered again. She flicked her tail—most of which was missing—and reaching out with her right front hoof, she popped the latch to open the door, hoping that her friends would come through for her.
As the door swung open, she heard a familiar voice say, “Darling! You look positively dreadful!”
Beyond the door was a vast underground grotto—or perhaps it was a cistern, she could never tell—and not too far from the door, there was a quaint little table loaded down with everything needed for tea, as well as candles for some much needed light. Water could be heard dripping and there was a nostril-tingling mineral smell. Sitting at the table were three ponies that Rainbow was quite glad to see; Rarity, Trixie, and Sumac.
“Darling! What happened! Do come over and sit down!”
Trudging forwards, her saddlebags slapping her tender sides, Rainbow hesitated to elaborate upon what had happened. Rarity would pester her… plus, Rarity would need to know. The details would have to be discussed in detail, if Rarity was to do her job. But at the moment, Rainbow just wanted to sit down and rest her battered, achy body.
“I followed up on a tip and found Sweaty Brown Betty’s Secret Sweatshop of Shame.” Upon reaching a chair, she sat down, winced, and then let out a whimpery whine before continuing, “I infiltrated her Secret Sweatshop of Shame—”
“By yourself, darling?” Rarity raised both front hooves and covered her mouth while Sumac looked on with rapt, worshipful adoration.
“At first, yeah. I did the sneaky infiltrator thing and I used the toys that Trixie gave me, but then things took a turn for the worst and suddenly I was fighting a whole sweatshop worth of mooks—”
“Rainbow… you really must be more careful! The suit can only do so much to protect you!”
“Yeah, well, this suit didn’t do much at all.” Reaching up, Rainbow rubbed one of the many lumps on her head. “Captain Equestria showed up—”
“Tarnish!” Sumac shouted, causing Rainbow to cringe in pain.
“Yeah… he was in town I guess for Society business. Turns out, he talked to the same informant that I did. He shows up while I’m fighting like a hundred or so mooks and when he opened up the doors, there was a moment where you could have heard a pin drop. I swear to Princess Celestia, it was that quiet. A mouse fart would have been deafening. But he locks the doors behind him and everypony just kinda stopped to reconsider their next move.”
“What happened next?” Trixie asked.
“Captain Equestria closed and locked the doors behind him. That’s when things got interesting. I got my second wind with the two of us, it was pretty even odds at that point. We even captured Sweaty Brown Betty.”
“Apple Brown Betty.” Sumac almost spat out the words. “One rotten Apple. Think she’ll escape? Think she’ll get away?”
Rainbow shook her head and then whimpered when her neck popped.
“What makes you so sure?” Sumac leaned over in his chair and waited for an answer.
“Captain Equestria shattered her spine after she set me on fire. Unless she gets magical healing somehow, for some reason, she’s never walking ever again. I gotta say, the suit did pretty good against the flames… until it didn’t.”
“Darling… you’re bleeding. Allow me to change your bandages. I brought first aid supplies and a medical kit. With each meeting, I become a little more prepared. Let me have a look at you, will you?”
Sighing, too weary to resist, Rainbow acquiesced with a halfhearted nod.
Surrounded by teacups, plates, and delicate snacks, Rainbow Dash winced while Rarity tore off her bandages. A few feet away, Trixie Lulamoon was holding up the tattered remains of what was left of the Mare Do Well suit while Sumac walked in a circle around her. The suit—what little that was left of it—was in even worse condition than Rainbow was. Not much was left to study so that improvements could be made to the existing design.
“These stitches are terrible!” Rarity let out a keening, wordless whine of horror to punctuate her words. “This will leave a puckered scar! It’s just behind your wing, too, where the skin stretches! What happened?”
“I got shanked,” Rainbow replied, her words muffled because her chin rested upon her foreleg and she did not bother lifting her head. “The blade hit my ribs and scraped bone. It’s a flesh wound.”
“I’m going to cut these stitches out and redo them.” Rolling her eyes, Rarity let out a disgusted huff. “Is this what passes for medicine these days? Wretched!”
Even with the icy numbing spray, the stitching hurt. Rarity made many small, tight stitches, sewing up Rainbow’s side as if she was a torn dress. Though she’d never admit it, Rainbow was vain about how she looked; she liked being a pretty, pretty pegasus and the idea of having hideous, deforming scars scared her.
Dribbling water made the walls glisten, but Rainbow made no effort to enjoy the underground beauty. She lay on the table, a fine pegasus meal served up for tea, and every time Rarity skewered her with her needle, the rainbow-maned pegasus had to fight back the urge to blubber. She couldn’t cry in front of Sumac, because she was his hero and that would be letting him down.
“Kiddo, are you okay?”
“Apple Brown Betty was… my… she was my aunt, I guess?” There was a faint clink as the colt put down his teacup atop a saucer. “She was my father’s mother’s sister. I want to feel good about what happened, but I feel bad.”
“Kiddo, family is complicated.”
“I know.”
“She’s been evading the authorities for years.” Rarity rolled her eyes while she stitched and then blew a fabulous, fashionable raspberry. “The bane of Manehattan’s fashion row. Her cheap knockoffs of designer fashions and haute couture ate into sales and did great harm to hard working designers… including myself. An Apple, no less. I do wonder what Applejack will say when she finds out.”
“I bet it involves cussing,” Sumac muttered.
“She ran that awful immigration racket.” Trixie scowled. “Offering to help poor immigrants and then saddling with them debt. That’s dirty.”
“The last suit was so stiff and inflexible that I could hardly move. I got roughed up pretty bad by those mobsters, but at least it protected me. This suit I could move in, but it offered nothing in the way of protection.” Rainbow closed her unpatched eye and gritted her teeth for a moment while Rarity pinched the wound together. When the pain became too much to bear, she bit down upon her own fetlock and banged one hoof against the table. When the worst of it passed, a sweaty Rainbow Dash lay panting and spitting out short blue hairs.
“Darling, I am positive that perfection can be achieved… in time.”
“Sumac’s stink bombs caused blisters. It had a nasty effect. They were effective, but also a danger to me.”
Saying nothing, the disappointed colt let out a groan.
“The smell was so bad that it made ponies puke and that turned the floor slippery and everypony was sliding and falling down. Nopony could scramble out of the way when Captain Equestria started tossing sewing machines. My mask saved me from the stink and my suit saved my skin from those blister bombs… good work, Rarity. The mask caught fire though and that’s how my eye got injured. Burned my eyelid a bit.”
“Ew!” Trixie shuddered with revulsion while giving her head a shake, no doubt an attempt on her part to ward off the mental imagery evoked by Rainbow Dash’s description.
“Did the magnets in the boots work at least?” Sumac asked while he took a moment to adjust his spectacles.
“Yeah.” Rainbow did her best to smile for the forlorn-looking colt whose pride had been wounded. “I was able to fish bombs out of my pockets and ignite them. Those magnets made everything easier. When we started using sealed masks, I couldn’t use my mouth no more.”
“Did anything stick?” Still disgusted, Trixie patted her son on the head. “Were the magnets too powerful?”
“I just had to give the bombs a good flick to release them. It worked just fine.” Feeling the needle pass through her skin, Rainbow hissed and hoped that Rarity was almost finished, because the numbing spray was wearing off.
Now rubbing her fuzzy chin, Trixie sat back and appeared thoughtful.
Weary, tired, in pain, demoralised but still somehow hopeful, Rainbow sighed and reached a decision. When Rarity tugged a stitch tight, the pegasus whimpered, whined, and resisted the urge to turn her head around so she could have a look. It was time to follow Rarity’s advice, even though it was really icky advice.
“I’m ready to try leather, I think.” Rainbow’s voice was far, far raspier than usual. “I’m not so sure how I feel about wearing another animal’s skin, but getting stabbed again has got me thinking. Maybe even lightweight metal plates in places where we can get away with them. I still need it to be flexible though. It’s how I stay alive. My ability to fight large numbers depends on me moving fast enough to stay out of reach. I’m not like Tarnish, er, Captain Equestria… I can’t take a hit and shrug it off. I’m kinda fragile.”
“I’ve said from the beginning that leather is the way to go—”
“I know, Rarity, I know.” Miserable, Rainbow Dash focused on breathing to manage the pain.
“You’ve already made it clear that you’re not going to give this up—”
“I can’t give this up!” Ears rigid, her mostly naked tail slapping against the table, Rainbow’s nostrils flared wide. “Too much crime and not enough cops! I’m one of Equestria’s many exceptionals now. I have all of this speed and power and strength! I can do things that no other pegasus can do. I owe the world the best parts of myself and all I have to give. Besides being a Wonderbolt, this is the only other part of my life that makes sense!”
“Darling… I wasn’t going to tell you to quit. I was going to remind you that your friends will be here for you. I make empowerment outfits for quite a number of exceptionals now. I’m getting better at it every day.” A fine moue graced Rarity’s lips while she snipped the thread she had stitched Rainbow’s side with. “I have to come up with a name at some point, because I’ve been unofficially added to the roster.”
“Really?” Rainbow, Trixie, and Sumac all said in unison.
“In my own way, I too, am an exceptional. I make empowerment outfits. Functional, practical outfits. I am told it is a rare gift…”
“I was against it, but Sumac registered—”
“He did?” Rainbow turned her head so that she could focus her good eye on the colt. “You did? Even though you knew that your mothers would kill you? You’re brave, Sumac.”
“Professor Egghead. What Flurry calls me. It just seemed fitting. I’m not sure if it is right for a superhero to come up with their own name. They’re part of a public image. It’s up to the public to decide who their heroes are.”
“Professor Egghead, I can totally respect that.”
“No, Rainbow… don’t even think about it.” Frowning, Trixie crossed her forelegs over her barrel. “The answer is no.”
“But I—”
“No.”
“But he—”
“No!”
“But we—”
“NO!”
Crushed, defeated, Rainbow Dash did her best to look sad. “But I wanted a sidekick.”
“Mom—”
“Don’t you even ‘Mom’ me, Sumac Apple Lulamoon! Nuh-uh! Rainbow is on the table being sewed up right now! There’s no way that I’m letting you go out and fight crime with her!”
“There’s no way I’d let Sumac go on the prowl with me. That’d be crazy dangerous. I just need a sidekick at home. A buddy I can confide in. A gadgeteer.”
Mollified, Trixie let out a snort and stared down her muzzle at Rainbow, her forelegs still folded over her barrel. “He’s already doing that now… sorta. I suppose I can allow that. I’m still not happy that he went against my wishes and registered. Pebble put him up to it, I just know it.”
“She did,” Sumac confessed while nodding. “She told me that she could never love anypony who sat back and did nothing while evil prospered. She said her parents raised her better. I really want Pebble to love me. She’s cute.”
“And I want to be the most awesome pony that everypony loves.” For the first time, Rainbow smiled, revealing chipped, damaged teeth in need of repair. One swollen, somewhat singed ear quivered and the proud, lithe little pegasus somehow managed to look quite pleased with herself, even in her battered state.
Eyes rolling, and with each breath a near wicker in her throat, Rarity did her best to be dramatic while she finished up her work. When she squirted antiseptic into the wound, Rainbow whinnied, and when the pegasus tried to squirm away, the fashionista dragged her back, showing no mercy.
The chai was spicy with ginger and had a pleasing, pleasurable bite. Rainbow, now wrapped in bandages that were all clean and white, leaned back in her somewhat rickety wooden chair and held her teacup between her front hooves. With her damaged teeth, she had to be careful drinking, and when she was done here, she would need to pay a visit to Zecora.
“For a better suit, we’re going to need more… exotic materials.” One perfectly groomed eyebrow arched on Rarity’s graceful forehead. “That is going to be costly. Very costly. I recently made suits of armor for Piper and Hennessy—Flicker wears heavy armor and it doesn’t slow him down in the slightest, but those two require lighter, more flexible armor. At exceptional cost, I made them full body armor from hydra hide. Amazing stuff, hydra hide. Even self-repairing, so long as it’s tanned properly.”
“Ghastly!” Trixie hissed.
“That’s kinda gross.” Rainbow’s words caused ripples in her tea. “What’s the cost of that project, if you don’t mind me asking?”
“For the two full body suits, a little over ninety-thousand gold bits.”
Hooves suddenly shaking, Rainbow very nearly dropped her teacup. “Holy alicorny poop! How’d they pay for that?!”
Across the table, Sumac let out a weak cough of surprise.
“Rainbow… darling… what if I told you that you’ve already spent over ten-thousand gold bits already?”
“I have?” Rainbow’s tea almost sloshed over the edge of her teacup. “No wonder I’m always broke lately.” Not at all liking the sudden feeling of uncertainty, Rainbow took a cautious sip of tea and tried to do the complicated mental calculations that would confirm what her friend had said. After a few moments—her skull aching—she drew a blank and gave up. “I’m a broke little pegasus. Right now, I don’t even have the money to pay for another suit. We might have to put this off for a while, until I can do a couple of Wonderbolt shows and get paid.”
“The worst part is, we don’t even know if hydra hide would be a good material for you. It might be too stiff… too restrictive. The cost is prohibitive, darling… exceptionals face a dire conundrum. Hero work doesn’t pay the bills, but it is dreadfully difficult to go to work when you’re laid up and recovering. I’m seeing this in a lot of my clients. I’d love to help them, all of them, but I’d go bankrupt if I sponsored their efforts. As it is, my fashionable boutiques are all just the means to an end now, to pay for my real passions. My interests… my hobbies… fashion has become so incredibly dull compared to making empowerment outfits. A dress is just so… vulnerable. So unbelievably fragile!”
Head throbbing, Rainbow realised that she and her friend shared the same trouble.
“Rarity has the means to keep Rainbow a little safer.” Trixie set her teacup down upon its saucer and then rested both of her forelegs on the table’s edge. “Rainbow has the means to make the world a better place by fighting the good fight.” Smiling a smug smile, she nodded and her eyes took on a prideful twinkle. “Trixie Lulamoon has the greatest superpower of all… money. Bits. Finances. As a noble, Trixie has considerable assets. Trixie has means…”
“Mom?” Ears pricking, Sumac turned his head and cast a sidelong glance at his mother.
Rainbow Dash found herself staring at Trixie. So intent was her focus that she failed to notice that Rarity was doing the same. Wild, racy thoughts zoomed through the speedster pegasus’ brain and the frail, fragile flame of hope kindled within her slight, delicate, almost-avian breast.
“House Lulamoon is interested in sponsoring an exceptional… it’s become the de rigueur thing to do. You’re already using my hidey-hole. My son is your sidekick. And Pebble is absolutely right for once… House Lulamoon needs a champion to strike a blow against evil. It’s time for us to do something. To be the powerful force of great goodness we once were.”
“You’re serious?” With her one good eye, Rainbow gave Trixie an incredulous stare.
“I want Sumac to grow up to be a good lord… and I still have much to answer for… for my own sake. For my own self-improvement. This is a good time for Sumac to learn how to do good by empowering others to act in his stead.”
“My goodness… you are serious.” Eyelids fluttering, Rarity began to fan herself.
“Now… I have terms… are you willing to discuss them?”
Observing the shrewd look in Trixie’s eye, Rainbow nodded. “Yeah… let’s discuss your terms…”
Author's Note
I've been meaning to toss this out for a while now. Uh, about the time I released Mud Monsters or so? I dunno. Anyhow, the one shot is done. Just a glimpse into the secret stuff going on in 'verse.
