Hole-y Frijoles

by CapNTilfy

Rating: mature
Tags: Rainbow Dash (EqG), Comedy, Equestria Girls, Sex, Flash Sentry, Somnambula, Profanity
Length: 1771

Rainbow Dash is on a mission: Fuck Flash Sentry to prove she's not gay.

Rainbow Dash is many things. Awesome, an athlete, a great friend...but she's not gay! Having had her honor offended, she sets out to make things right by doing what she must: Fuck Flash Sentry!

My second entry into the wonderful madness that is the Beanis Cinematic Universe

Special thanks to all those who helped me in writing this, especially Flash Notion for going above and beyond. Thanks a ton, man! =)

Published 2018-10-04 03:40:02 UTC
Last updated 2018-10-04 03:40:02 UTC

Man-hole

Rainbow swaggered into the Ballkickers’ locker room, wiping off her sweat from practice. “Jesus, I didn’t know my dick could sweat! I’m so used to it being inside something moist that I thought I was fucking a ghost or something!”

“News flash, Dash,” Soarin said as he shut his locker. “Every part of your body sweats.”

“Pfft. Duh, I was just testing you.” Rainbow Dash said.

Soarin rolled his eyes. “Suuure. Just like how fucking Fluttershy doesn’t make you gay.”

Rainbow Dash’s eyes shot wide open as she began changing out of uniform. “Of course not! I have Concentrated Awesome,” she said. “I fuck her with my dick, not my pussy.”

Soarin folded his arms and scoffed. “A woman fucking another woman still sounds gay to me.”

“Bet you wouldn’t be saying that if I had sex with a dude!”

“Well, yeah, obviously. Wait - which dude?”

“Uh-” Rainbow frowned, thinking about it. She didn’t know many dudes. Just Soarin’, Fluttershy’s gross brother, and--“Flash Sentry!”

Soarin’ gave Rainbow a confused look. “Who?”

Rainbow turned around, naked from the waist down. “Flash Sentry! You know, our security guy at Beanis?”

“Uhh...” Soarin gaped in awe at Rainbow’s cock. “Yeah, sure. Do him. He’d do! So...say,” he said, spellbound. “Speaking of things that totally aren’t gay…”

After she finished with Soarin, Rainbow Dash realized what just happened. “Oh shit,” she said in a panic. “Spitfire’s gonna kill me!” She quickly finished dressing, then sped out of the locker room, leaving a dazed and sexually confused Soarin on the bench.

I’ll deal with Spitfire later, Rainbow Dash thought. Right now, I need to fuck Flash to prove that I’m not gay!

Rainbow shifted slightly in her chair. This wasn’t what she’d planned on doing. “Fluttershy, what are you doing here?” she asked. “You’ve been getting sick every morning for the past couple of days, you should be at home, not here at Beanis!”

Fluttershy paused for a moment, then took Rainbow’s dick out of her mouth. “Rainbow, it’s about three in the afternoon,” she said.

“You’re not answering my question.”

“I did,” Fluttershy protested. “I’ve only been sick in the morning. Not in the afternoon or evening.”

“Oh.”

Hey,--maybe Fluttershy could help her out. “Fluttershy,” Rainbow said quietly, “Do you think I’m...gay?”

Fluttershy popped Rainbow’s dick out again. “Why do you ask?”

“I didn’t say to stop blowing me, just answer my question,” Rainbow said impatiently.

“I can’t do both, Dashie,” Fluttershy said.

Rainbow folded her arms and sighed. “Okay, fine,” she said in an irritated tone. ”Answer my question.”

Fluttershy stood up to her full height and looked Rainbow Dash in the eyes. “What does it matter if you’re gay or not?”

Rainbow sighed. “I don’t like being made fun of...and Soarin’ keeps saying that I’m gay because I fuck girls with my penis,” she said, turning her gaze away from Fluttershy. She held her arm with her hand.

Fluttershy stared blankly at Rainbow for a moment, then blinked. “What.” She quickly regained her bearings. “How is he making fun of you?”

Rainbow looked back at Fluttershy. “I think Soarin’ thinks I’m lame because I have sex with other girls. I need to fuck Flash so I can be cool again!”

“Oh. I… guess that makes sense? Since gay means lame and he - yes. Okay. But why does it matter what he thinks anyway?” Fluttershy asked. “What about what you think?” She took hold of Rainbow’s hands.

“What I think, huh,” Rainbow asked.

“Yes, Rainbow,” Fluttershy said with a soft smile. “What do you think?”

“Well…” Rainbow trailed off for a moment, then nodded as she made a decision. “I think you should finish sucking my dick.” She paused. “And then I’m gonna go fuck Flash.”

Rainbow Dash was a woman on a mission. She walked up to Flash's office, which had a door sign that read "Gash Entry", and knocked.

"Come in." Flash said.

The moment she entered, she was greeted by a scent she was all too familiar with. "Flash, have you been fucking in your office? And you didn't even invite me?" she asked, throwing her hands up in the air.

Flash blinked. "What do you mean, 'my office'? This is Gash Entry's. That bastard never shows up for work, so I thought I'd teach him a lesson by having sex in it."

Rainbow Dash put the palm of hand to her head and dragged it down her features. "Impressive. Every word in that sentence is wrong. First off, this is your office. Twilight still hasn't gotten it through her head that your name is Flash," she said. "Second, even if this wasn't your office, what makes you think revenge fucking and the awesome smell of cum everywhere would teach anyone a lesson?"

Flash's eyes widened. "Wait, you mean there's no Gash Entry?"

Rainbow sighed heavily. “Shit, and some people think I’m the dumb one around here… No, Flash. There is no Gash Entry." She said wearily.

"I'm just screwing with you, Rainbow. I know this is my office," Flash said with a smirk.

Rainbow rolled her eyes and smiled. "Okay, you got me," she admitted.

"So what brings you here, anyway?" Flash asked.

"Let me fuck you!" Rainbow Dash begged in a praying position, futilely trying to give Flash puppy dog eyes.

"Wait...what?" Flash said, his eyes and mouth opening wide.

"You heard me. Right here, right now. Please?" Rainbow said, giving Flash her saddest possible look.

"This is kind of sudden." Flash said.

"Come on! It's a matter of pride!" Rainbow continued her begging posture.

"You might as well stop with the begging. The sad look only works on me when Somnambula does it," Flash said.

"Oh, please." Rainbow scoffed, rolling her eyes and folding her arms. "You only say that because she blows you nearly every damn second you're awake. I bet I could give you a better BJ than her."

Somnambula appeared from out of Flash's crotch, causing Rainbow to yelp and nearly fall on her ass. "Is that so?" she said in a challenging tone, putting her hands on her hips as she narrowed her eyes. "Can you give him a blowjob from the inside?"

"That's not physically possible!" Rainbow said with a confident smirk.

"It is if you're a ghost!" Somnambula said in a singsong tone, pointing to herself with her thumb, wearing a huge smile.

"Oh. Right," Rainbow said, sighing.

"Why do you want to fuck me, Rainbow? What's this all about, anyway?" Flash asked as he got up off of his chair.

"I want to prove that I'm not gay." Rainbow said.

Somnambula raised a eyebrow. "But you've only been having sex with Fluttershy and women who see your penis."

"That's 'Concentrated Awesome' to you." Rainbow said, "And what you said is exactly why I want to fuck Flash!"

"But you don't just have a dick, right? You have both a penis and a vagina," Flash asked as sweat dripped down his forehead. “You want me fuck you in the pussy, right? T-That’s what you meant...right?”

Rainbow shook her head. "I don't want to run the risk of getting pregnant. That's why I want to fuck you with Concentrated Awesome!" she said, punctuating her sentence with a pelvic thrust. For several moments, the room was filled with silence. The pause would have become pregnant if Rainbow had whipped out her dick.

Until Somnambula spoke up. “Ooh,” she said excitedly, “I would like to see Flash get fucked in his boipussy!”

Rainbow Dash's thought process skidded to an abrupt halt, then decided to take a nap that lasted all of five seconds. It swore at the time lost, then went back to work, but not before quickly smoking a cigarette just to take the edge off. "Wait...you have a what?!" she all but shouted.

Flash sighed as put his hand to his head. "I don't have a vagina, Rainbow. 'Boipussy' is internet slang for anus."

Rainbow sighed in disappointment, then turned to Somnambula. "Why'd you have to get my hopes up like that?"

Somnambula giggled. "I didn't think you'd take the term so literally."

Rainbow folded her arms and rolled her eyes with a grunt. "Still..." She said, slowly cupping her chin. "Anal, huh," she thought out loud.

"Yeah..." Flash said, trailing off. "I don't think I like the idea of that. I've only had...well, kind of had sex with Somnambula here." He said, gesturing to his incestral ghost lover.

"What's wrong with that?" Somnambula asked, "I used to do similar things to the slaves I had back in my day."

"Firstly, I thought we agreed I wasn't your slave," Flash said, narrowing his eyes.

"You agreed to that. I did no such thing."

Flash sighed, resigned. "Fine. But what about your husband? Flash Magnus?"

"Oh, please." Somnambula said with a wave of her arm. "He was absolutely into cuckolding." She noticed Rainbow's confused expression. "It means he liked watching me fuck other people while I told them how much better they were at it than he was."

Rainbow slowly turned her gaze back to Flash, as did Somnambula. He squirmed under the dual stares.

"Look," he said. "I'm not saying I agree, but... just so I know what I would be getting into... can I see it?"

"See what?"

"He means your dick, dear." Somnambula purred.

"Sure!" Rainbow tugged at her pants. "But hey, I just want you to know that there's no pressure." She even paused to hold up her hands in a gesture of meekness. "Right, Somnabula?"

The ghost stared at Flash's crotch and licked her lips.

"Right Somnabula?" Rainbow said more sternly.

Somnambula heaved a sigh. "Fine." she said, slightly disappointed.

Rainbow finished removing her pants and paused again. "The ball's in your court now," she said, putting a hand on the elastic of her panties while locking eyes with Flash. "So just remember that there's no pressure. Even though my pride is on the line here." The passive-aggressiveness of the statement flew right over her head. She tugged down her underwear--

Rainbow Dash put her pants back on as Flash lay sprawled on his desk, pantsless. Somnambula gaped in awe. "Well, I have to say I'm quite impressed...and maybe even a little jealous." she said once she regained her mental faculties. "Keep me in mind when you pass away, will you?" She asked Rainbow.

"You got it!" Rainbow said, making finger guns before leaving Flash's office.

"So. How are you holding up?" Somnambula asked Flash.

Flash lay on his desk contemplating life, the universe, and why he was so sexually confused.