Suited for a Challenge

Chapters

1. Understanding One's Perspective
2. Storming Out
3. Let's Play
4. Butter in the Air
5. Egg Hunt
6. Sewing Seeds
7. Bucking Nonsense
Color Me Understood

1. Understanding One's Perspective

The element of kindness swirled around a green taloned hand, mismatched eyes followed the butterfly as it spun, and a deep sigh resounded through the aether Discord lingered in.

“Dearest Fluttershy, finally you gave me a gift that means more to me than you will ever know,” he sighed in resignation and grabbed the necklace by the gem. “Without the worry of being turned to stone again,” he took on a sinister grin, “I think I’ll have a little fun.”

He snapped his talons and the necklace appeared around a life size doll in the image of Fluttershy. “Watch and learn, my friend, at what little games Discord plays when not in danger of spending another nanosecond stoned… without a pipe,” a corncob pipe flashed into where the doll’s mouth would be with smoke bubbles in the shape of marijuana leaves floated out.

“Stay alert now, my little pony,” he winked and created basic features on the dolls face that scrunched and blinked, moved slightly and then grinned a pink cottony grin around the pipe, “shenanigans shall ensue after this short interlude.”

Rainbow Dash, blue showboat of Ponyville and element of loyalty hovered at Fluttershy’s door with a frown and her forelegs crossed as she stared at the butter colored mare. “I just wanted to let him know we trust him. He’s really a different creature now that he’s reformed and-”

“He’s Discord! It’s not real, it’s an act! Fluttershy, we can’t fight him now,” Rainbow retorted and thrust her forelegs up in frustration. “What made you think it was going to be okay with the rest of us? Why didn’t you talk it over or plan something with Twilight?” Rainbow recrossed her forelegs.

Fluttershy gulped and stood as tall as she could. “Rainbow, I know he’s a bit rough around the edges, but he has seriously changed for the better. He fixed my tea set after he turned it into some kind of bird that shattered when it hit the window. Discord wouldn’t do that unless he was really my friend.”

Rainbow’s deadpan expression was enough to answer Fluttershy’s concern and feelings on the matter. Rainbow landed and sighed to the ground. “Look, I know you think he’s all better and whatever, but I still don’t trust him. Something’s off about this, all of it, and I’m gonna get to the bottom of it.”

Rainbow squatted and leapt into the air, flapping her wings to take off higher into the sky. A flash of light beside Fluttershy brought Discord. “My, my. She certainly has a case of doubt-itis, doesn’t she, Fluttershy?”

She looked aside at him and shrugged. “She’ll come around, Discord. Before you know it,” Fluttershy watched her friend fly away, “she’ll be one of your best friends.”

“Hrm, I don’t doubt that one bit,” Discord said while stroking his beard and smirking at Rainbow Dash. He lowered the spyglass he had hovering in his eye, taking his eye with it and pulling it off. He stuck it back in his socket and blinked, the spyglass preventing a complete blink. “She certainly is stubborn, mayhaps a little encouragement is in order?”

He looked at Fluttershy completely normal again. “I don’t know, Discord. Rainbow Dash isn’t one to be forced into anything.”

He placed a claw to his chest. “Perish the thought,” he shrank to meet Fluttershy’s eyes, “the last thing I’d want to do it make anypony do anything against their will. That’s something the old Discord would do,” another Discord walked from behind Fluttershy to stand over them both, “and I’m certainly not him.”

Fluttershy giggled and nodded. “I know, and soon the others will come around, too. Just give it time.” She turned back to her cottage while Discord hummed.

“Time, indeed.”

Rainbow Dash flew to her cloud house and into one of the upper floor windows, stopping quickly on the cloud floor. She looked around her room and found her Daring Do book by her bed, where she’d left it. She practically pranced over to her bed and climbed onto the blanket baring her cutie mark.

When she reached for her book she fell off her bed and into a dark abyss that didn’t seem to have an end. After a split second of startled fear her wings opened and she flapped them to hover, only she didn’t know if she was. There was nothing to gauge where she was and her relation to anything was just impossible. She didn’t like where she was and knew who was to blame.

“Discord! What the hay are you doing?” A light lit the horizon and mountains in the distance became known, then she looked down and saw a tongue. She sneered and looked at the opening, now she could see they were teeth, omnivorous teeth. She flew past them and into a dark void where purple and black rippled through the very air, she turned to look at the Lord of Chaos in the muzzle.

He towered over her at what seemed like a full grown dragon. She snorted at him. “What’s the big idea?”

He opened his mouth and the stench of old cheese, fresh fruit, and rust washed over her making her stomach turn. “Why, my dearest Little Dashie; I’m only here to help you see the light that I am reformed.”

“You might have Fluttershy fooled, but not me,” she held her hooved up, ready to throw a punch.

He vanished and appeared on her back holding reigns and wearing a stetson. Rainbow gagged on the bit in her mouth then turned her head to look at him. “Nah, ah, ah,” he pulled the reigns and turned her head forward again, “a good pony does as she’s told.” Rainbow flipped over and tried to shake the draconequus off to no avail. “Yee-haw, ride’m cowpony!”

“Get oph me, gurk!”

He leaned heavily to one side and she flipped back over. Every time she’d try to move he’d counter it, leaving her worriedly looking around. “Now now,” he purred and reached over her head to pet her muzzle with a cat’s paw. He looked down at her and she flinched at the fat orange tabby cat with yellow eyes and slit red pupils. “A good friend knows how to behave, and you aren’t behaving like a good friend, have you?” he asked her and leaned back, Rainbow frowned and bit hard on the bit and it shattered.

“Ptheth, what the… peppermint?” she licked her lips at the tasty treat and looked back at Discord who was nibbling on the grape colored noodle.

“I do oh so love a little prank once in a while,” he slurped the noodle for what seemed to be several seconds before it finally ended. Rainbow looked around and took in the empty swirling space. “Welcome, to the Hall of Chaos,” he shouted from behind her left eye while pressing his hands to the back of her eye. Rainbow screamed and shut her eyes while slapping her leaning head.

“Get outta my head! Get out, get out!”

He tumbled out of her ear into a ball of cotton that he lounged on slipping glass from a juice cup through a tiny paper umbrella. “My dear, there’s so much space in there I already rented it out as a timeshare,” he lifted his drink and Rainbow covered her ears as thumping inside her head started a muffled song. The sound of partygoers chatting over one another reverberated around her skull and when she opened her eyes colorful lights flashed from her eyes. She thought she screamed but couldn’t hear herself, then there was silence.

Discord was holding a megaphone at her face while a small recorder waved at her with its play button. “Like I’d ever waste such important empty space as your head. I could fill it with candy and whack it like a pinata,” he flashed a spiked baseball bat into his talon and a flaming sword into his other. Rainbow flew back from him.

“Send me home, I’m not playing your dumb mind games,” she winced when he grabbed his horn and opened his head, a porcelain dinner set ran out screaming ‘freedom’, except for a single for he grabbed and used to scratch his fang.

“Of all your friends, they’ve come to accept me at some level, except for you.”

“That’s because I know you’re still evil and when I get back everypony’s gonna know what you’ve done!”

“What I’ve done? You mean taking you to my home and showing you how good of a time one can have when the rules don’t apply? I don’t see how that’s evil of me.”

Rainbow opened her mouth but no words came out. Finally she noticed something over her head and blinked at the circle with a small line pointed at her. The words ‘What is that thing?’ filled it in and she facehooved. ‘Let me go home, I’ve got important things to do.”

“Like?” he asked now stretching the fork to nearly as tall as him; then he scratched his back with it, shuddering slightly when it touched between his wings. “I’ve watched you, all you do is have fun napping and flying; hardly what I’d call a good time,” he yawned loudly and shoved the fork into his ear extruding crackling electronics from his other.

“It’s not fun, it’s awesome. And I’ve got pranks to pull, I meet Pinkie today and we’re gonna get a few ponies really good.”

He perked up and grinned at her. “Pranks, you say? I’m always one for a good prank,” Rainbow turned to look for him and giggled at the clown outfit he was wearing, rainbow wig and all. “There’s something about bringing a smile to others that just fills my heart with joy,” he pulled balloons from behind him small butterflies took them away.

Rainbow felt something on her mouth so she touched it and grabbed it with her forehooves. With a tug she pulled it free and looked at the fake smile he’d put on her and deadpan looked back at him for a second before breaking into a laugh and throwing the smile behind her. “Wow, good one. I gotta get some’a those, can I get a few to take home?”

Discord curled around her, holding her up, and joined her in laughing. “So, does this mean you believe I’m reformed now? Was it truly that easy?”

Rainbow Dash flexed her wings and Discord uncurled from her, hovering over her and looking down. “No way, buddy. You can’t pull the wool over my eyes that easily,” she sputtered and grumbled in muffled tones as she lifted the sheep off her head.

Discord pointed behind Rainbow with a flourish of his paint brush, splattering paint against an unseen glass barrier. “Perhaps it’s you who need to open your eyes, oh rainbow maned one. Perhaps a test of prankage, combatants who use the world as their canvas!” Rainbow let the sheep float away and didn’t watch as it turned into marshmallows, spreading across the flowery hill the two were now on. The paint started to form against the wall into thousands of pony silhouettes laughing silently at Rainbow and Discord pulling their strings.

“Discord, that’s just creepy… a joke is just a joke, not a way to control ponies.”

“Ah, how nice it was to think in three dimensions it was,” he dropped a rubix cube on the ground in front of her. “But when you think in more complex ways,” the rubix cube hovered at her face height and began to spin on all axis, breaking into trillions of pieces that broke into trillions more, each one continuing the patterns and Rainbow stared, transfixed at the improbably beautiful kaleidoscope of reality that began to form inside her mind.

A snap and she was back in the void, tears running down her cheeks as she blinked her mind back into the reality she understood. “Wha-what was that…”

He leaned in so close he dominated her vision. “That, was the barest glint of the existence I wish to bring to the world as you know it, but alas,” he backed up and stood in his normal way, “the world isn't ready for such beauty.”

Rainbow wiped her eyes on her foreleg, adopting a stern look. “You tricked me, I want crying. Take me home, Discord, this hasn't been any fun and I'm telling Fluttershy-”

She clamped her mouth closed when fire danced around him and in a split second he grew to the size of a full grown adult dragon. He bore more teeth than she'd ever seen in her life, combined. Each razor sharp and glinting with saliva.

A stench of rotten fish and Shrewsbury strawberry shortcake ice cream buffeted his voice. “You'll tell her what?”

Rainbow clapped her forehooves to her ears that were already against her head. She felt her insides vibrate for seconds after he'd finished speaking.

She saw a flash of light and she felt fine again. “Y-you don't scare me. How would you explain me going missing if you are me? Huh?” She flexed her wings and looked at him smugly.

He narrowed his eyes and lifted his clawed hand, then made a show of snapping his fingers.

2. Storming Out

Rainbow rolled to her hooves and sputtered sand out of her mouth. She shook vigorously, fanning her wings, to get as much sand of her as she could.

She looked up through the palm fronds at a clear and deep blue sky. With a snort to clear her sinuses, she set her eyes level again and looked around. She walked for nearly half an hour, not feeling the need to fly until she reached the tree line and took in what she could see. For all she could see, she was on an archipelago. At a distance she could make out another island at the edge of the horizon’s arch.

She took to the air suddenly to observe where she was, and it was a small archipelago with just enough foliage to feed her for a couple months, if she went on a strict grazing diet.

She turned and began a flight to the next island over, after two hours she was bored and starting to tire, but the island was visible now. She climbed higher and used the air currants to glide.

She yawned as the sun warmed her back, her mind drifted between where she was, what she'd tell everypony, and how they'd all kick Discord back into stone, if they had to.

She finally saw her target below her and her body stiffened, letting her glide descend as she looked at the island she'd left hours ago.

“No way…”

She dove and landed in the water at the beach to lay down and was the sweat and heat off her coat. “What the hay, Discord? What's the joke here?”

She didn't get an answer so she trudged onto land and made her way into the trees until she exited the other side. It was certainly bigger than she thought.

She began a lengthwise trek and facehooved at what was in the center of the island.

A small stone shrine, dedicated to Discord, with a bright pink, striped like a candy cane, and smelling of pineapple, full body baby minotaurs suit laying across an altar. Red gems spelled for her to put the suit on and she balked at the entire set-up.

“In your dreams, Discord. I wouldn't wear that if it was the only way off this thing.”

***

Two weeks had passed and the storms had finally relented enough to let Rainbow relax her grip on the tree she'd been holding. After being blown off the island she flew with the wind and stinging rain back to her island to wait it out.

She was hungry, had sand everywhere it shouldn't have been, and in the end stared at the costume. She fought herself until the wind picked up again and she dove into the opening, curling around until it fit, then bent down to pull the zipper up.

She had to admit, it was very warm and dry inside and she held a little frustration toward herself for being so stubborn.

That is until she tried to move. Her legs kicked and her arms moved, but she couldn't coordinate them; so she did the only thing that she could think of, and that was to cry like a baby minotaur. She didn’t know how, but it came naturally to her, the low bellow of a wailing calf combined with a need for attention and help rang across the island and suddenly the weather calmed.

She lost herself to the awkward instinct and flailed, not noticing when the trees around her bent down and encompassed the area over her. She felt the sand press against her back and she was lifted, but she didn’t know where in the near complete darkness. She stifled her crying and sniffled as a hush sound came from outside the shadows.

The light expanded and she blinked at a crowd of a hundred creatures from across the world as Discord lowered a blindfold he was holding in his paw. The crowd erupted into laughter at her and she flinched back, unable to move she looked down at herself and her jaw slacked enough for a pacifier to fall from her lips and bounce between her hind legs, on the stage floor, just before leaving her sight.

She frowned at Discord, who was holding his clasped hands to his cheek with a goofy face. “Aww, is widdle Wainbow upset? Was just a pwank,” he reached down and pinched her cheek.

She slapped at his talons, missed, and fell over onto her face. She struggled to get her hooves under her but the fitting diaper she was wearing kept getting in the way and forcing her legs in awkward directions, so she finally resorted to flapping her wings. She managed to sit herself properly and after the buzzing her wings made stopped, she finally returned her glare to the being of chaos.

“Discowd, fix me back to nowma wite naw!” she crossed her forelegs on her chest and pouted, the crowd gave a unanimous ‘awww’.

“Aww, little Rainbow thinks she’s so tough still? How was your vacation on the island?” he asked pulling a model of the archipelago from the floor and holding it in his hand. He picked a tree from the earth and scratched his left eye with it. “You know, you were only there for about an hour,” he grinned at her baffled expression. “Time has little meaning when the boring stuff is taken out of the story. Can you recall what you ate your first night there? Or perhaps where you slept until the storms?” he wiggled his fingers over the island and it began to rain sprinkles until the island was covered.

“I dunt caw, fish me ow Ah’m tew’in.”

“Aww, spoil sport. Tell you what, why not explain why you don’t trust me and I’ll see if I can fix your opinion of me,” he said breaking the island in half and dunking one part into the floor. Rainbow fell forward again, thankful to see her adult body; then upset to see the diaper still on her.

“What’s with this thing? I’m not a baby, I don’t need this!”

Discord chomped the island and chewed it, the sound of glass shattering with each motion of his jaw. “Audience participation; they want you to keep it, so until they say otherwise,” he tossed the other island into the crowd and it turned into a sand golem with tree fronds for eyes, “and it seems they just keep coming,” he looked back just in time to get a hoof to his face.

His head spun around three times and he fell over with a blue flower held to his chest. The audience booed her, but she only cared about Discord. “Get up and send me home,” he didn’t answer, just lying still as he could. She stomped her hoof on the stage. “Discord!”

He slowly rose with a halo over his head and white wings on his back. “You have quite the way of shouting, you could wake the dead,” he lifted one hand and the stage rumbled. Rainbow looked at her hooves and then back to Discord just before a boney hoof broke through the floor. She took wing and managed to hover for a second before she fell back down and looked at her infant wings.

She danced between the undead forelegs and dodged them as music began to play. She glanced at Discord who was wearing a flashy outfit and had started to spin records in the air around him. She used some of the boney legs as a base and ran to him, leaping and knocking into him. He caught her and looked at her with a neutral expression.

“You, little mare, weren’t supposed to get out of that so fast.” She curled her hind legs and bucked out at him, barely missing his jaw because it stretched out of her way before snapping back into place with a click. “Well, you have to do something for me to get out of that diaper.”

She glared at him in response.

“Oh, nothing so inappropriate. You must simply give Twilight Sparkle, your friend, a bop’n’tug.”

Rainbow sucked in a breath in surprise. “What? No way, that’s foalish!”

“Says the mare in a diaper. I send you back, you do that without saying to anypony why you’re wearing a diaper, do the task and when you come back you won’t be wearing that diaper anymore.”

She looked down at the white cottony cloudy diaper and then to Discord. She knew he could keep her in it for the rest of her life, so she averted her gaze and grumbled her agreement.

“Fantastic,” he said and tossed her into the air. When she landed she was in the Ponyville market, and it had just fallen very silent.

Rainbow looked around at the ponies she’d known for years and shrugged. She opened her wings, glad to see them full sized again, and tried to take off. She flapped so much and so hard ponies complained about the dirt she was kicking up before she stopped and realized three of her hooves wouldn’t leave the ground.

She blushed and moved to step, quickly finding she could walk at a slow pace. When she’d try to run she’d stumble and almost fall, quickly learning that she had to keep two hooves on the ground the whole way through town to The Golden Oaks library. She casually waved at the gawkers and gave casual greetings as she went on her way like it was just another day in Ponyville.

“Lookit Rainbow Dash, she’s wearing a diaper!”

Rainbow blushed and glanced back, the diaper, now baring her cutie mark on both hips and a visage of herself on outside her view, on her rump, just under her tail and to the side, was a sad face; a glass of lemonade slowly filling under it. “Great, it just get better,” she said from what little she could see and returned to her awkward walk. Foals and adults snickered at her and she couldn’t help but blush brighter.

“Okay, shut up! I have to do this because mggphhlm…” her lips wouldn’t open and she cursed Discord under her breath. She walked as quickly as she could out of the laughing crowd of ponies, much to her dismay they followed her, mocking her walk as a mass of stumbling equines with the blue grounded pegasus as their leader.

Every pony that they crossed joined in, some not even knowing why but joining in on the fun.

Rainbow finally reached the library and knocked on the door and waited for several seconds before pounding repeatedly. “Okay, okay, I’m coming, hold your hooves,” Spike called before the door opened. Rainbow and he looked at each other, then his eyes gazed across her body and he stifled a laugh.

“Where’s Twilight, Spike?” Rainbow asked curtly as his dragon cheeks puffed and he snorted a tuft of flame. “Spike?!”

He burst out laughing and pointed at her. “Y-y-your wearing a polka dotted diaper! Why, did you forget how to go potty like a big mare?” he fell over. “Spicy burrito night at the cloudhouse again? Or maybe,” he rolled to his belly and held his sides, “maybe… maybe you lost a bet with Pinkie Pie and have to wear it all day!”

The crowd behind her heard his calls then burst into laughter of their own, pointing at Rainbow and mocking her, some holding up their own foals and tapping their diapers and pointing to Rainbow, shaking their heads, implying ‘don’t be like her’.

Rainbow gasped and turned to glower at the dragon whelp. “Where is she?!” She shouted loud enough to cover, briefly, the laughing.

Spike rolled to his back and looked at her with yellow slitted eyes and winked at her. In a quiet voice that belonged to the Lord of Chaos he spoke, “She’s at Fluttershy’s cottage. I certainly hope you make it in time, because that glass of lemonade is getting full.

Rainbow gasped in shock. “You wouldn’t dare.”

“Can’t stop nature, now can you?” he winked and fell back down, closing his eyes and laughing; the laugh returning to Spikes. The dragon opened his eye and looked at Rainbow with his natural gaze and resumed his fit.

Rainbow turned and began a two alternative legged march toward the outskirts of town. She nearly fell every so often, even while trying to seem like she was trekking normally. The crowd had partially dispersed, but with loud promises exchanged for details about what was going to happen and to take notes.

Rainbow did her best to ignore the comments, laughter, and even foals poking her diaper to make sure it was real. It was when she had left Ponyville that ponies noticed the filling glass of lemonade and made the connection, starting another round of teasing and even a parent or three tossing new diapers onto Rainbow’s back.

Rainbow spent several minutes distracting herself with thoughts of what she’d do to Discord when she saw him face to face again. She perked up when she heard birds singing in harmony and she noticed she was already near the cottage. “Finally. Twilight?!” she screamed at the house sending the birds away in a rush.

Fluttershy flew around her home at a quick pace, trying to herd the flying creatures back together while Twilight followed and looked at Rainbow. Her frown turned to a smile and she stood taller, waving hello. She froze and cocked her head when she took notice of Rainbow and said something to Fluttershy.

Both her friends looked at Rainbow, Fluttershy landing and exchanging words with the unicorn while Rainbow walked as quickly as she could to meet them. They moved to meet her halfway.

“Um, hi, Rainbow Dash,” Twilight said casually when Rainbow was close enough, “why are you leading a parade wearing a diaper?”

Fluttershy turned her head and hid behind her mane, but Rainbow could swear she heard a quiet sniffle from her foalhood friend. “I can’t tell you yet, just come here so I can tell you something else.”

“Oh?” Twilight’s ears perked and she leaned closer, “like some gossip?” she asked with a giggle.

Rainbow rolled her eyes and waved her closer. When Twilight moved closer Rainbow turned her hoof aside and lifted it, bringing it down onto Twilight’s horn. “Bop!” Twilight was dazed for a second as the uncommon sensation tingled her nervous system and didn’t resist when she was encouraged to walk past Rainbow with a little help from the cyan mare’s wing. Twilight let out an ‘eep’ when she was stopped suddenly and fell to her haunches.

The crowd snickered and Twilight’s mind cleared suddenly to see her tail being spat out of Rainbow’s mouth. “Rainbow Dash?! Did you just bop and tug me?!” The crowd burst into laughter at the two of them, even Fluttershy had a hoof over her mouth to quiet her laugh. “What are you, a foal?!”

Rainbow frowned and stomped her hoof into the dirt and turned to Twilight. “I had to because if I don’t get out of this diaper soon-” a ding sounded and from nowhere and everywhere the sound of water filling a glass filled the area. Rainbow turned bright red and looked at her now lumpy like a yellow nimbus cloud and bright as a lightbulb diaper.

A hush fell over the entire area, only wind rustling leaves and blades of grass rubbing together for the longest heartbeat of Rainbow’s life. Then like a flood of sound everypony, bird, squirrel, cat, bunny, and critter nearby pointed and laughed at Rainbow Dash.

Rainbow opened her wings and flapped them, finally leaving the ground and ramming her head into a large tree ahead of her. Leaves fell, cascading all around as she looked at the stars that danced in her vision. She quickly regained her senses and took wing, flying high over Ponyville in a couple seconds, only to let out a quiet sob when she reached a cloud she could hide in.

The cloud darkened, but she didn’t care. She curled onto herself and hugged her tail to her chest from between her legs, petting it softly as tears left her eyes. She shut the world out by closing her eyes and humming a steady tone.

3. Let's Play

Rainbow rocked back and forth, soothing sounds filled her mind as she opened her eyes. Back on stage and now wearing the cloud as an outfit, she lashed out and swung at Discord. Her hoof passed through him like a cloud would part around her and she hovered in the air without flapping. She looked back and down at herself to see she was covered and made out of a yellow cloud.

Her head was all that seemed normal, but she felt the same inside the cloud as anywhere else. “What’d you do to me, Discord?” she asked, giving him what she thought was a withering glare.

Discord, for his part, ate some cotton candy cloud as it rained chocolate onto the stage floor. “I am doing nothing, my dear Rainbow Dash. I said I’d get you out of that get-up, and I did,” he ate half his arm while stuffing his treat into his mouth and chewed, blowing a large purple bubble that popped and splattered across his head. He pulled it with his pawed hand and pulled it off.

Rainbow didn’t budge or react when she saw him pull the gum off. He was grinning, holding a candy striped cane, and pointing behind himself with it at a spinning pigwheel, its ticking loud and annoying. “Well, Miss Dash, care to take a spin?” he asked as it stopped on a blank slot.

“No, send me home and I’ll forget all about this, otherwise I’ll kick your flank, and I mean it this time. I’ll even tell Fluttershy why you’re bleeding when I drag you in front of her and she’ll totally understand.”

“So, no spin then?” He asked. Rainbow hovered stoically still. “Well, I’ll just have to spin for you,” he grabbed a wheel peg and pulled down, sending it spinning. “Whatever it stops on, is a slight task you have to perform to save one of your friends; Fluttershy included. Now, before you react, know that they’re not in any real danger. But,” he pointed at a spot behind her. “Yes,” he spoke deeply from behind her ear, so close she could feel his breath, “that’s your real body. From mane to tail, hoof to ears.

“If you play my little game, you get yourself back; piece by piece. A friend for a part of yourself, are you going to play now,” he asked, licking her cheek and moving back with yellow cloud on his tongue. Rainbow looked gasped and blinked one eye as he spat the glob of cloud back onto her.

Her vision returned completely and she nodded without a word.

“That’s a mare, now let’s see where it stops,” he said small enough to fit on Rainbow’s snout.

“Discord, what am I right now?”

“Shh, it’s slowing,” he said, lying back until all she could see of him were his legs and tail. The feeling of him lounging on her face was awkward, but she focused on the wheel as it slowed. “Tick, tick, tick… tick… Woo-hoo! Pinkie Pie, what luck. You can go through that door whenever you’re ready and give the audience, myself, and readers a show.”

Rainbow didn’t think about the potential thousands of eyes on her as she floated to an open door that shone pink fog whisps just beyond the threshold and what she’d have to endure to save her friend.

Rainbow crossed the pink mist and got stuck when she’d passed halfway through. “Guh! Gum?! Really, Discord, you can do better than that,” she exclaimed while looking at the candy filled world. It looked like a forest had been turned to candy. She tugged herself and flipped several times, looking back at a tree made of jello. “So, I’m here to stay. Great. I’ll just go find Pinkie and get this over with.

“Maybe I’ll get my legs back and I can kick him in the… what do you kick a draconequus in?”

She listened to the cascade of normal forest noises and looked over the landscape taking it in. In the distance she could see a building that looked normal enough. It was white as a cloud and tall, she guessed that a good place to go first and hovered over the grass into the denser forest. She stretched her body inside the cloud and noticed that it didn’t change the outside of the cloud at all.

She felt her wings and flapped them, gaining height. “Ha, so I can fly at least!” She pumped her wings and realized she did have a maximum speed, about a trots pace. She lowered to the ground and landed to a squish. “What the?” she leaned over and licked the grass. “Icing? Well, could be worse.”

She hovered again, looking at the smear she’d made in the otherwise well crafted grass, then began to make her way to the object. Vines of some kind of taffy whipped from the branches and blocked her path when she was a few trees in. “Oh, c’mon!” She floated back and the taffy retracted.

“Ha, dumb candy,” she said moving forward again, once more the taffy blocked her path. She frowned and growled quietly, turning right and meeting the same barrier. She looked to her left and slowly edged her way to the opening; then it closed with a snap. She moved forward through the open space and ran into the taffy wall, bouncing back slightly and losing her balance. She rolled and tumbled through the air several times on all axis and saw both the taffy wall retract.

“Okay, you wanna play? Let’s play!” she floated with her maximum speed at one of the openings and then turned to the other, still floating into the barrier as it snapped into place from dozens of locations across trees made of gingerbread. She thought for a moment and grinned. “I got it!”

A moment later she was spitting cinnamon from her mouth and glaring at the bite mark she’d made on the tree’s surface. Gingerbread, filled with compressed cinnamon was her prize. She spent the next ten minutes floating into the taffy barriers, venting her rage at what she was at the moment.

“Okay, fine. What would Daring Do do?” There was a quiet chorus of chuckling from the trees around her. “What? What’d I say?” she asked and then thought about it and snickered. “Ha, one time I was playing hoofball, the stallion didn’t hit on me after that.”

The taffy wiggled with the giggling it was making. “Ah, you’re laughing taffy! I get it. So, did you hear that you can tune a piano, but you can’t tuna a fish? Even in a can!” If she was able she’d have held her sides and fallen over into the piles of potato chip leaves on the ground. The taffy ate it up, strands retracting until there was enough space for her to go through.

“Hey, how many licks does it take to get to the center of a lollipop? I dunno, three! How about that sea liner food? More like ‘slimier’ food, am I right? I asked for a salad and they brought me kelp. Kelp, I couldn’t believe it. When I sent it back I told them to tell the chef he needs to go back to chef school of hard rolls.”

She looked at the taffy space and realized there was an eerie quiet around her now. No animals, no bugs, not even the wind seemed to ruffle the chips in the trees. “Well, I thought those were funny,” Rainbow scoffed.

There was a roar of laughter and the path opened for her. She quickly made her way past the taffy infested trees with a grin and noticed it was feeling warm. “What gives? Who turned up the heat?” she looked around her and saw a ball of fire bouncing after her. Not wanting to take the chance of what would happen to her body inside the cloud when fire touched her, she backed away, turned back to her path, and kept an ear at the thing.

Every few seconds the sound of crackling would make her twitch. It was approaching her and it was faster than her. She turned sharply to the right and went between two trees, then began zigging and zagging through the nearby sweet foliage. She did bite a leaf and got a treat of sweet tea candy, then she looked back and yelped; the fireball had ignored her trickery and had gone straight to where she was finishing.

Sweat beaded as it reached her and stopped mid air. It had eyes that blinked and a mouth that drooled flame back onto its body. Rainbow slowly floated back and it followed her, hovering with her. “Uh, hi?” she asked. The creature responded by violently vomiting fire below her. “Gah! See ya,” she turned again and pushed her cloud covered body to the limits, even rocking her head back and forth for more percieved speed.

The creature burnt candy and melted softer sweets as it followed her, spewing napalm around her in random patches.

“Crap, where’s that building?!” she flew up but capped out when she neared the canopy. “Agh, don’t do this! It’s like I’m in an oven,” she looked down and balked. The entire forest around and under her was either aflame or burnt. She noticed she didn’t smell anything, and she knew what burnt food smelled like.

Filing that away, Rainbow picked a direction that seemed to be the way and flew as fast as she could. The creature wasn’t anywhere she could see, but the burning area behind her made her think it was close.

She kept a sharp eye out and didn’t see anything after a while so she finally let her guard down. That was when it returned, now a giant cloud of rolling black smoke made up its body. Its eyes still burned of fire and flame leaked from its mouth, but now it seemed different. “Why are you here?”

Rainbow gasped. “I just wanna find my friend and get out of this place as fast as possible. Can you help me get to the white building so we can book it?”

It seemed to take shape and loomed over her, past the canopy, and looked down on her with baleful eyes. “You may go, but only on the path I give you.”

He pointed at the ground and spikes made from packages worth of dried gum sticks shot up. The branches grew and bound together tightly, nearly blocking out the sunlight and forcing her down, closer to the ground. She looked behind herself and saw the beginning a few seconds flight away, so she turned down the dark corridor and began her flight.

“Oh, a little incentive from the forest. We don’t want you here, so hurry and move along,” it chuckled from ahead of her; its flaming eyes opening. It formed an arm and then two green talons. With a familiar snap, it vanished and fire caught her attention from behind.

“Jerk!”

She flew forward as the fire encroached upon her, keeping a steady pace that was slightly faster than her. She had to weave over, under, and around all manner of candies. Cotton candy bushes, chocolate bunnies would hide as she passed, unknowing of the danger their soft melting bodies were in, peanut butter cups were set as hurdles she had to fly under and over, Skittles and M&M’s rained down on her, stinging when they made contact with her nose or squinted eyes.

“You’re not stopping me, Discord. Why don’t you just give up?”

“Where’s the fun in that?” he replied from beside her. She glared at him. “Oh, come now. A little danger is what you’re all about, right?”

“Yeah, when I’m in control. Not when somepony’s just doing it to mess with me.”

He reached over and pulled a hankerchief from her nostril, then used to to dry her head. “Must it always be about you? What about your dear friend, Pinkie Pie?”

“I’m doing this for her!”

He moved from her sight and whispered inside her mind in a way she’d never felt before. “Are you so sure?”

The tunnel ended suddenly and she breathed in fresh air and felt warm sunlight on her head. The building was just up ahead and she was a bit elated at the sight. She approached and rolled her eyes. “Of course it is,” she said as she looked up the gigantic glass of milk. She reached a fancy door with ornate carved gold trim and carefully pushed it open something she didn’t expect to expect.

“A hospital? I hope she’s okay; if she’s hurt, Discord, I’m gonna bite your nose.” She made her way in, taking notice of a lack of ponies. She reached the counter and pressed the bell with her snout..

“What’d’ya want, murderer?”

Rainbow looked over the counter but didn’t see who spoke, only a snack of an apple. “Hey, I’m no murderer. Where’s Pinkie Pie?” she demanded as she floated herself into a horizontal position and quickly grabbed the apple in her lips. She took a bite and then another, then she finished it on the third.

“Hey, I ate your snack cuz I was hungry. I see some grapes that’re calling my name.” When she was forcibly pulled back, she grinned at the assistance. “Thanks, I need he-”

Two stalks of broccoli towered over her from behind, their shadows letting electric light through their heads. She looked up to see something moving inside their florettes, they were spiders. “You’re coming with us on the charge of serial murder,” they moved to pull her back but she resisted. “Call for backup, this one’s as strong as a carrot!”

Rainbow tugged herself free and hovered past the now very living and cowering fruit and vegetables as she moved down a hall. Green onions wearing white hopped aside while turnips wearing varying colors of shirts ran into nearby rooms and barred the doors. Rainbow rolled her eyes and turned a corner and into a green banana.

“Hey, watch it, ya freak,” it said and pushed past her without a care.

“Unripe fruit,” she scoffed and turned into a stalk of broccoli. “Ah, lunch is served,” she bore her teeth in a manic grin that had it walking backwards on rooted legs. “I know its weird, but I like to start with the middle, because it has lots of fiber,” she leaned forward and gave chase as spiders fell from its head and scurried around.

Rainbow didn’t notice until something tickled her ear, but that was when she saw at least three spiders climbing the side of her muzzle. With a very loud and not very Rainbow Dash scream, she bad to spit and sputter, twirling in place at her slow pace in an attempt to get them off. As soon as one would leave, two more would enter her vision, most were climbing across her muzzle and she realized they were webbing her mouth closed.

She tried to lick through it but the webs were actually more solid than she’d expected. “Mo, monp moophfith.”

She faced a wall and bumped into it, stopping three spiders from webbing her, but six more took their place. She saw them moving and working in an order and she felt insulted, that these spiders were going to stop her just before she saved her friend. Her ear tickled again and she’d had enough of whatever was teasing and tickling her.

She floated up and pressed her head against a ceiling tile, than turned her head left and right, her ear stopped being tickled and she shuddered with delight. She lowered and looked around, frantically for anything she could use to get the spiders off. She shook her head to no avail, and snorted without any advantage given, and mumbled and whined at creatures that couldn’t hear.

Then she thought of something, something she hadn’t tried. She turned back the way she came, hoping to find a nurse or maybe the banana to get them off. She managed one better when she saw an eye peeking out of a doorway. She looked at the eye and it blinked, she gave the most pathetic expression she could and the door opened.

Rainbow recoiled at the potato covered with more eyes than she wanted to count. Each eye swiveled and turned, as though it were watching everything all around it at once. All too quickly the potato had reached her and spindly tendrils slithered out of it, wrapping around her head and leaving a sticky slime as it went and wiped the spiders away.

Rainbow worked her jaw and blinked several times to clear her vision. She averted her eyes, “Uhm, thank you? Look, uh, I owe you one, so I guess I promise not to eat raw potatoes for the rest of the year,” she glanced at the potato and didn’t see a reaction, did it understand her? It stepped to the side to show several tiny potatoes with one single eye, each looking at her.

“Yeah, that’s not creepy at all… Look, thanks a ton. I’ve gotta find my friend so we can leave this world and go home, so,” she quirked an eyebrow as the giant potato fell to its side and rolled down the hall. “Well, okay then,” she followed down the hall to the gasps and overall fear she raut in her wake. She felt a little proud at the awe she inspired, even in these vegetables. The halls were long and the turns were many, the stairs were thankfully easy to transverse, and she yawned loudly twice going down them.

“Ugh, how much farther? Are you even taking me to my friend, or are you just rolling on to Boringsville? We’ve been moving for, like, hours,” she whined even though it had only been six minutes. The potato stopped, the eyes she could see opened and blinked at her and then closed in a pattern that guided her down a dark hallway. “Huh, the only hall without lights? Dark and spooky? My only assistant staying behind?”

She grinned. “Boss fight ahead.”

She entered the darkness and once it was all consuming she turned her gaze around, there was nothing. No sound, no light, just complete sensory deprivation. She moved ahead quickly, she didn’t bump into anything even as she moved around, zig zagged, and dropped for as long as she thought she could before she hit the ground.

“Hello?” she called out. She called out again, screaming this time and only silence replied as an echo.

Ponies aren’t designed to be alone and even the most strong and stalwart pony can become a cowering foal in the darkness that is all consuming, but to taking away all the senses will turn any sapient being mad with time.

Rainbow quickly fell into panic, she didn’t know how long she’d been in this void but she wanted out, now. She screamed, called, fought against the cloud holding her limbs and flew in any direction she could in the hope of finding anything besides the dark. A light came on behind her and she pun around, it was blinding for an instant and then it was manna from heaven.

She rushed towards it and hovered under it with her eyes closed and her snout held high, as though she were a plant getting a taste of sunlight after days in darkness. A clunk sound and she turned to see another light, then another and another. She followed the path they lit in the absolute darkness that existed just beyond the beam from the lights.

A door, plain and simple wood with a handle and Applejack’s cutie mark on it, brought a few tears to Rainbow’s eyes. She didn’t care which of her friends was behind the door, as long as she wasn’t alone anymore. The door opened inwards before she got to it and she crossed the threshold.

“Pinkie?!” Rainbow called out to her friend. She heard a pop and she landed on all four hooves, thankful for the freedom to move, she flapped her wings and flew over to Pinkie.

“R-rainbow Dash?” She said weakly, “I, don’t know how much longer I have…”

“What? Pinkie, what’re you talking about?! You’re fine, let me get this thing off your head and unstrap your legs and-”

Pinkie gave her friend a hard glare. “No, they have what I need. I don’t have long, Rainbow. They’re coming, hide and save yourself.”

“Wh-what do they have, Pinkie? What can I do to help you?”

A cracking sound echoed through the room that started to appear from the darkness. Three stalks of celery were flanked by six broccoli, spiders crawling around their florettes freely. One of the celery tossed something to Rainbow and she caught it, dropping it suddenly.

“Ah, the serial killer is afraid of a potato eye? What a fearsome beast, just like your friend,” he gestured to Pinkie, “but we’ve taken everything we need from her. A new subject will certainly help us fight off the murdering monsters that plague our farms, till our homelands, and fertilize our ancient lands for their own neferious purposes.

“The stories we’re told by those that come out of those places is harrowing,” it stared at Rainbow, “the vegetables are thin and gaunt, the fruit seem to change every generation… whatever you’re doing is destroying us, and we can’t let that happen.”

“Woah, woah, woah. Wait. You mean to tell me that somepony’s farming is making you all go crazy?”

“A ‘farm’? Truly a word in your language that has no meaning to us,” it motioned and the broccoli began taking slow steps with various garde manger tools as weapons. “Finish the pink one, we have her now,” Rainbow’s eyes turned to Pinkie and the small colander helmet she was wearing, the two wires that led out of the room via a wall, and the bells rang in her head.

She flew to the helmet and yanked it off just as it began to spark. Rainbow felt a surge of energy pulse inside her and in a flash she was blinded. The sound of popping came from what seemed like everywhere and she clutched the helmet to her chest as the lights dimmed. She inhaled carefully and opened one eye, then the other.

“Pinkie?”

The pink mare was standing over a giant popped popcorn with a grin. “Heya, Dashie! I got my stuff back,” she tossed a bag of sweet and salty roasted almonds at Rainbow’s hooves. “I was so hungry I didn’t know how long I’d last, but it turns out I wasn’t that hungry after all, then you came in here and took the helmet off and I don’t know why you did that,” she bounced to Rainbow and took the helmet from her and placed it back on her head, “ahh, smooth jazz.”

“What, buh, I… Pinkie?! What’re you talking about? You were about to get popped! I mean, shocked, and I saved you from those guys!” she pointed to the popcorn.

“Oh, them? Nah, they do this every hour or so,” she zipped to the now popcorn guards and picked up what was once broccoli and some large pieces of salt from the floor. She used her hooves to grind the salt into grains, spread them over her treat, and then ate it in one bite. “These are awesome, Dashie, try one,” she hook kicked a popcorn to Rainbow who dodged the delicious projectile.

“Pinkie, I thought you were in trouble.”

“Why’d you think that? I’m just a side character, but still main cast, so I can’t be hurt too badly.”

Rainbow held a hoof to her temple. “Okay… you’re still random as ever, so you’re you, but now what? How do I get back to Discord and buck him to next week.”

Pinkie tossed another popcorn at her that she swatted away. “Pinkie, quit it. I’m seriously not thinking about snacks right now,” she turned to the table and gripped the colander in her hooves. She put it on her head just as popcorn hit her in the back. With a loud crack, Rainbow saw everything vanish into a void of white, smooth jazz was all she heard.

She looked around and out of the corner of her eye she noticed something in the distance. She tried to flap her wings, then looked back and groaned loudly. She saw pink where blue should have been, all over her body except her legs. Her legs were blue, but she was completely dressed as Pinkie.

A curl of pink fell into her vision and she grumbled at it, blowing it away only for it to bounce back into place. She noticed Discord lying somewhere in the distance, his form was too unique to be anything else. “Discord, I’m gonna… I’m gonna, well, you won’t like it when I get my hooves on you,” she started to gallop towards him and after several minutes she slowed to a canter.

He waved at her, still as far away as he’d been, egging her on. She galloped again for a few seconds, then slowed and narrowed her eyes. “Wait a second,” she rubbed her eyes with her right foreleg and he was gone when she opened her eyes.

“Oh, that could have gone on for a while,” he said from somewhere. She looked around herself and then at her foreleg where he was curled like a wristband from her elbow to her cannon. “Well done, brava, the crowd goes wild,” he cheered and a wilde beast leapt over Rainbow. “So, did we learn anything?”

A short yellow filly looked at Rainbow with hazel eyes, she moved her orange mane from her face with a blow. “Miss, am I okay?”

Rainbow looked her over, then at Discord who shrugged in ignorance. “Uh, yeah, you look fine, kid.”

“Oh, I was just asking because you’re dressed in a puffy pink bodysuit and I thought it was a different kind of party. Thanks, miss!”

Rainbow turned and watched the filly go and as quickly as the filly walked past, she was now looking around a grand ballroom. Wherever she was it was a really swanky party full of rich unicorns and fancy accents. “Rarity would love this place,” Rainbow commented and quickly made to follow the filly.

4. Butter in the Air

The orchestra reached its crescendo, finishing softly to the polite stomping of hooves sporadically around the dance floor. The filly walked around ponies and under a stallion that was less than pleased.

She was around a corner before he could complain and Rainbow just plowed through the crowd and simply shoved the stallion aside. She turned the corner and nearly tripped over her.

“Hey, why’re you following me, lady?”

Rainbow looked down at the filly and shrugged. “Cuz you know where you’re going and I’m not supposed to be here.”

She got a flat look in reply. “No, really? Dressed like pink cotton candy in a formal party for a bunch of rich snobs? I thought you were a guest of honor trying to stand out.”

“If I was, I’d be the most awesome guest of honor there ever was,” Rainbow would have struck an awesome pose, but she wasn’t in the position or costume for it.

“You… are familiar. Didn’t you almost fall to your death a couple years ago or something and a unicorn had to save you?”

Rainbow recoiled with a gasp. “You don’t know about that?! I was the one who saved a unicorn from falling to her death,” she grinned, “and a couple Wonderbolts, too. It, was, awesome. I even did a sonic rainboom, second time in history, both by me.”

With a roll of her eyes so mighty her little head moved with them, the filly turned and trotted away. “Whatever you say, super mare. I’ve got a friend to meet and don’t have time for you.”

“Wait, what’s your name? Where am I? Have you seen a yellow pegasus with a pink mane she hides behind?”

“Name’s Kira, you’re in Windfall, and why the hell do you think I know everypony?”

Rainbow flinched at the Kira’s verbiage. “Watch the language, you’re gonna get us in trouble.”

Kira inhaled deeply, sucked in her bottom lip, and started blowing and forming an ‘f’ sound when she stumbled over the dress she was wearing and landed on her chest with a sudden exhale. “F-udge. Heh,” she smirked as she got up and brushed her dress flat again, “gotcha. C’mon, stalker, the gal’s up ahead.”

“I’m not a stalker, I’m Rainbow Dash, the best flier in-”

“Yeah, sure you are. I’m Kira, princess of farts. Behold my power,” she showed her mighty power while Rainbow was about to speak and then coughed.

“Guh, ack! My mouth was open, nasty! What kinda power is that?”

Kira groaned. “I was hoping the power to get you to shut up and leave me alone, but I guess it’s a bit weak. I’ve gotta power it up some. Come on,” she looked ahead and side to side as they walked down an empty hallway, “walk closer, stalker.”

Rainbow frowned at her. “I’m not a stalker!”

“Then why’re you following a filly you don’t know down a long and lonely hallway at night, alone,” she slowed and her head turned slightly so she could see Rainbow out of the corner of her eye. She gasped and started to gallop. “You won’t get me! Stranger danger! Help, she’s gonna foalnap me!”

Kira’s voice echoed through the hall and Rainbow gave chase, her legs pounding on the floor and suddenly she was silent, slowing down as she left the ground. “Oh no, stupid no wings, fluffy stupid suit!” she landed again and resumed the chase as Kira turned a corner and a door slamming echoed.

Rainbow turned the corner after her and skidded to a stop. “Of course,” she sighed as she looked down the hallway. Doors every few paces for nearly two hundred strides, and Kira was behind one that may lead to others. “Yeah, forget that,” she went to the first door and opened it to a blank stone wall that was as smooth as glass.

The door opposite was the same, as were the next three doors. “Okay, this’ a waste of my time. Forget you, kid, I’ve got important ponies to find and you aren’t one of them.” She slammed the door and down the hall three opened. “Gotcha,” she shouted as she galloped to one of the doors and turned to enter the room.

She yelped and flailed her legs over the open air, barely managing to get to a hover in time. The door slammed shut behind her, leaving her floating in an unknown sky. She flew to the door and rattled the handle, bucked the door, managing to fling herself very far away from it, once she got back to it, Rainbow rested her head against it. “C’mon, kid. Open the door so I can go home.”

The door clicked and then flipped open from the bottom, sending Rainbow into the sky over the door. The filly peeked out and looked left, right, then down. She shrugged and the door reclosed before Rainbow could call out to her. Rainbow looked around the area with a scowl, then noticed something she knew very well.

Training rings made from clouds, two of them that she could see, were set up a ways away. Rings meant pegasi, pegasi meant Fluttershy. With an annoyed groan, Rainbow hovered slowly towards her objective. About half way there she grabbed a piece of cloud from one drifting by and formed it into a plank, then knocked herself over the head with it every time she thought of how long it was taking.

“Ugh, it’s been -whack- hours it feels like. The stupid -whack- rings are right there! Float faster -whack, whack, whack- stupid body. If I had my wings I’d be there already!” she shouted and dispersed the cloud she was hitting herself with. More time passed, and Rainbow was practically drooling from boredom while she floated ever closer, until she felt a shove from behind.

“C’mon old lady, we’ve been watching you forever, you’re gonna miss the race!”

Rainbow grinned and her heart rate jumped. “Yeah, that’s what I’m talkin’ about! Speed, finally.”

She looked back and a laugh died in her throat. She was looking at Gilda and herself, as children. “Yeah, I’m a gryphon, take a picture, it’ll last longer.”

“Not as long as you keep moving so slow, move over and let a real flier show you how to push some old pony.”

Rainbow scoffed. “I am not old, you whippersnappers,” she winced when the word left her mouth and the image of Applejack laughing at her flashed into her mind. “I mean-”

“Great job, Dash, you got her all riled up. It’s not enough she’s bald, but now you’re gonna give her a bad heart, too.”

Rainbow gawked and looked between the two fliers pushing her toward the training field. “I’m not bald, I’ve got your hair,” she reached up and moved to flounce her mane with a forehoof and met only air. Her hoof tapped her scalp and she screamed immediately once her hoof moved to her neck and she felt nothing.

Gilda flew around her and closed her mouth with her talons. “Look, it’s not so bad. You forgot your wig… there’s gotta be something we can use ‘til you get a new one.”

Young Rainbow appeared behind her adult counterpart and slapped a cloud on her head. “There, she’s covered. Now hurry, she can’t miss this!”

Discord slithered from the cloud mane into her vision and curled around her muzzle, closing it tightly. “Now, now, little filly. Don’t make yourself upset, or you might not like what you grow up into,” he said in her voice. The filly Rainbow scoffed and said something to Gilda adult Rainbow couldn’t hear.

“What?! Dash, we can’t just… but what about… ohhhh, well… that’s a good point,” Gilda conceded and then flew off.

“Well, good news, granny. You get to take the race with us, aren’t you excited?”

Rainbow shook her head while Discord answered. “Why, yes, darling. I’d love nothing more than to partake in your race. It shall be resplendent.” He snickered while Rainbow glared death at him. He leaned down and stretched his lips to her ear. “Oh, that was how that other one spoke, isn’t it? Well, we can’t all be of such fine upbringing,” he winked and his lips retracted to his face with a honk.

“Here we are,” the filly said as she landed and gave her adult self a final shove to the rings, “I’ll be back in a minute.”

Rainbow looked at the ring and the one past it, there weren’t any more so she chose to grown and grumble at Discord.

“Well, if that’s how you feel, then I guess I don’t have to be here to help you then, do i?” he uncurled from her mouth and she worked her jaw.

“No, go count nose hairs or something.”

He reached down and grabbed Rainbow’s nose and tugged a large human nose into the air. He was wearing a microscope in his left eye and he peeled the nose open like a banana; exposing a bouquet of multi hued hairs. “One,” he plucked one. “Two,” he plucked another and perched on her snout. “Three-”

Rainbow shook her head and inverted herself, rubbing her face into the cloud layer.

“Four,” he plucked one and she watched as it turned into a balloon animal. “Five,” he plucked a green one that popped open and three doves flew out from it.

“Discord, I can’t concentrate when you’re doing that,” she said softly as foals gathered around her and lined up, getting an odd look from some of them.

“Six-”

“Go!” Rainbow blinked and saw the foals charging ahead through the first ring and she scrambled into action, hovering and galloping as though it would help her go faster. The first ring cleared and then the second, she followed the foals’ path to a new ring down and to the right, so she followed and got stuck before she could clear it.

Two foals pushed her backside while Rainbow grunted and squirmed, cursing the suit as she popped through the ring. The two foals flew past her and didn’t look back as Rainbow followed them, straight up to the next ring. She frowned at the distance and how long it would take, but she soldiered on and made her way to it.

The ring was large enough and when she passed through it she heard a clap of thunder that got her to snap her gaze below. “That, wasn’t there a second ago,” she gulped at the arcing lightning below her and the ring just on the other side. She didn’t want to, but she decided to go around and was forced back by a column of air that pressed against her with each attempt.

“What the buck, Discord? Where’s my lightning rod if you want me to get through that?”

“Who ever said I wanted you to get through it?” he answered in his full form wearing a trench coat and holding an umbrella made of rain that deflected a rain shower worth of miniature cocktail umbrellas.

“Then what am I supposed to do? Just fly through it?! I’ll get burnt, getting burnt hurts.”

He gasped and covered his mouth with his paw as a ball of yarn fell to his feet as though he were standing on a floor. He picked it up and bit the end, slurping it like a wet noodle. “I’m certain I don’t know what you’re talking about, burns are marks of glory that-”

“Save it, I know what Sergeant Tempest said about lightning, and it applies to battle. I’m not in battle, just with you.”

He bit the string and finished with a gulp, bouncing the yarn in his talon. He dropped the yarn and began to yo-yo with it while he walked around Rainbow. “Ah, but isn’t that just one of those little things that just irks you, when you have to do something that you don’t want to do, knowing you’ll get hurt? Just, cut your magic and fall,” he let the yarn go and they watched it fall into and through the lightning, catch fire, then bounce between the bolts and finally explode with little flames that rained out of their sight.

She looked at him and growled. “You’re crazy if you think I’m gonna do that.”

“Then you’re going to have to take the long way to the end, this time. No time skips, just wait until it stops.”

“How long’ll that be?”

“When you cross the finish line,” he said darkly and lightning flashed behind him and blinded her just long enough for him to vanish.

“Great,” she thought about it and after more time than she’d like to have spent, shouted in frustration and stopped the magic flow into the cloud and she fell like a round rock in a lake.

Wind didn’t buffet her from side to side, there was no wind as she fell, and when she reached the floor of electricity she exhaled and sucked her tongue to the back of her closed mouth.

The feeling was like she always remembered it being; terrible. She instinctively fought the spasms and twitches her body made, while trying to keep where she was in relation to the ground, as well as her goal of the next ring. It was the longest three seconds of her life, that she could think of once she was past it.

She plummeted past the rings, clouds, and racing foals while her mind regained control of her body.

“Gotcha. Geeze, for an old geezer ya sure fly fast.”

“Gilda, she was falling, not flying.”

“Dash, she was pointed down, so she was flying… and fell asleep.”

Rainbow coughed a puff of black smoke and trembled. “Th-thanks. Look, can you help me? I gotta,” she motioned her head to the race.

“Fine, but Dash’s gonna take the first turn,” Gilda said and tossed her to her younger self.

“Whatever, let’s go, granny.”

Rainbow coasted along for the ride while she was led through the rings in order, finally passing the last one with two tired and panting helpers beside her. They all landed on a cloud and the kids groaned and grumbled. “Hey, thanks for the assist. I had it, but I can’t fly too fast in this thing,” she patted her pink chest.

“Whatever, we won, and came back, for you.”

“Yeah, like, you owe us one.”

Rainbow looked between the two and rolled her eyes. “Yeah, don’t mess with a pink pony when you grow up,” she looked at Gilda pointedly.

Gilda narrowed her eyes. “What’s that mean? You gonna come lookin’ for me someday? Cuz I’ll take you on, right now.”

“Nah, it’s not me. I’m blue wearing pink, she’s gonna be all pink. Hey, have you seen a yellow mare with pink mane? Name’s Fluttershy?”

“Oh, her?” Gilda snorted and reached into the feathers on her head, “this’ for you.”

She tossed a small pink box with a darker pink bow on it to her, and Rainbow opened it as quickly as she could. She didn’t expect a pie larger than her to pop out on a spring, recoil away, and then splat on her head; raining sweet whipped cream to the ground below. Rainbow stumbled back and toppled off the cloud to the shocked shouts of the two friends who were too sticky to fly and help.

Rainbow turned her fall into a dive and arced her body to leave the sweet treat and used the wind to clean her as best she could. She wished she had her wings, she’d open them and-

She yelped at the sharp pain in her back, then realized her fall had turned into a sharp bank. She looked back to see bright pink wings flapping from the suit, and didn’t care at the moment. She turned away from the area and flew up to a cloud to rest on. With a final flap she landed and grinned at herself. “Oh yeah, I’m back!”

She hopped into the air and cheered for herself; the sound of a dozen hooves clopping on the floor startled her and she landed on a platform somewhere on the ground. Green grass, large trees, and a variety of ponies all sitting like an audience, watching her as the applause died down.

“Uh, what?”

“C’mon, read us another!” a stallion shouted and was joined by a dozen cheers.

Rainbow looked to her left and saw a book with a pair of glasses on it, and she shook her head. “No way, I am not-”

“Not what?” The unique voice of Discord called from the crowd. She looked twice and finally saw he was disguised as a colt, dressed like a sailor, holding an obnoxiously large lollipop in his fetlock. “Not going to read with your glasses on in front of your adoring fans?”

Rainbow opened her wings and flew at him, being stopped by a mare with her magic. “Hey, you have to read the next page! Don’t leave yet,” she said happily and returned Rainbow to the stage, as she realized it was.

Rainbow glared at Discord, who rolled his eyes on the ground and hopped for joy when they came up as a pair of fours.

She put on the glasses and weathered the laughter at having to wear her prescription glasses in public, then opened the book. She yelped in a high screech, dropping the book and looking out to the crowd who had started to fall silent in anticipation.

She eventually picked the book back up and gulped. Her hooves trembled and her throat went drier with each breath she took. “The Wonderbolts aren’t cool. I’m not cool. The only cool thing, is soda on a hot day,” she clicked her tongue and glanced at the audience sitting on the grass, total attention on her.

“There once was a pony named Rainbow Dash, she wore her ego like a sash, she got to big for her britches,” she pouted, “and hung out with five other bit-”

“And that’s enough of that! Discord,” Fluttershy shouted from somewhere, but Rainbow couldn’t see. “What’s the meaning of all this?” she scolded the creature and Rainbow saw the colt shrinking in size with each word. “You change me back and fix all of this, right… now.”

He peeked out from behind one of Rainbow’s legs into the darkness. “But, lessons have to be taught and learned.”

There was a rustling and Rainbow dropped the book and the glasses fell from her muzzle as she watched a yellow tree with pink leaves shoving dirt aside as it moved toward them. “I don’t want to hear another word, mister. Fix us, right now.”

Even though Rainbow couldn’t see it, she could hear the rage in her friend’s voice. “So, you gonna do what she says, or are you gonna leave her like a tree?”

Discord groaned and snapped his tiny fingers and the three of them were back in the studio with the audience watching blankly. “There, spoil sport,” he said and pinched his fingers together while looking at Fluttershy. “But you only get one interference to help your friend. Do you want it to be now, when she could really use your help later?”

The mares exchanged glances and Fluttershy shook her head. “Good! Now, when next you speak I will count it as an opportunity to assist your dear friend on her quest. Until then,” Fluttershy whimpered when she was picked up suddenly.

“Fluttershy! I knew you’d make it. Here, have some popcorn and soda, this’ been a great ride so far! I’ve already had a turn, now you have! Only three to go, right Dashie?” Pinkie waved from several feet away while dropping Fluttershy into a beach chair.

“Pinkie, you gotta help me, here! Can’t you, just, throw a cake on him and help me get away?”

“Ha, you’re silly! I ate the last of my cake before you got back just now. I have some pie, if you want some.”

Rainbow cringed and repressed a gag noise. “No, thank you, Pinkie. What’s next, Discord?”

“Well, I find your impatience unbearable and-”

Rainbow sighed. “I’m dressed like a bear, aren’t I?” Pinkie giggled from out of her view and a very large and smelly salmon landed in front of her. “Ew! Pinkie!” She looked over to see Fluttershy with her lips pursed in a silent whistle and looking around nervously and deadpanned. “Really?”

Fluttershy looked back at her and shrugged nonchalantly. Rainbow looked left and couldn’t see past brown in her vision. She wiggled her ears and felt felt and tried looked around, trying to see herself and saw a dark brown bodysuit with purple wings and a rabbit’s cottony tail that wiggled in place of her own.

“Really, Discord?” she looked at where he was and saw a giant pencil where he was. Looking around she saw a classroom with embellished stationary and desks small enough for a foal. “Great, egghead hunt.”

5. Egg Hunt

Rainbow looked around the room and just started walking to the nearest door at the front right of the class, then slipped on a pencil and landed softly on her barrel. “Ha, didn’t even feel a thing,” she foolishly said. A normal pencil fell on her padded head, then another, and another. She glanced up quickly, sneaking a peek at where they were coming from, and saw three pencil sharpeners reverse shredding pencils and dropping them from the ceiling.

Worse, was she got a pencil, eraser first, in her left eye. With a customary yelp in surprise and pain, she moved her forehoof to her eye and rubbed it. After blinking to make sure it was alright, she noticed that there were more and more pencils raining on her now and a glance above her, with a foreleg as a guard, let her count that there were now seven.

“Great, it’s raining lead.”

She carefully stepped through, over, and on pencils as they started to cover the floor. A loud thump startled her and she took a look behind her. She yelped and flapped her wings, then started flying from the scroll that’d appeared at the back of class and started tumbling towards her.

She reached the door; pulled, tugged, yanked for all she was worth, but it wouldn’t budge. The scroll was as tall as the ceiling and as long as the room itself. The windows didn’t push out when she tried and she finally resorted to hiding under the teacher’s desk for cover as it crushed the desks under its roll.

She felt it press against the teacher’s desk and clenched her eyes. Nothing happened. She got up and looked over the desk at the scroll.

“Hi, Misses Rainbow Dash,” a class of smiling unicorn foals said in unison. All foals, except for one adult purple unicorn in the back that sat with wide eyes that held an embarrassed fear as she finished the statement.

“Twilight!” Rainbow was in her face in an instant and the mare flinched back and fell out of her seat. “C’mon, let’s go,” she turned and started fly away.

“B-b-but, wh-what’d I do?!” Twilight called back loudly as she got to her hooves and looked completely ashamed and her classmates made an ‘ooo’ sound in unison. “Whatever I did, I’m sorry and I’ll stay after class, please don’t take me to Princess Principal Celestia.”

Rainbow held a forehoof up in a placating manner. “Woah, look, I don’t know what’s got you so worked up, but we have to go, Twilight, now.”

Twilight backed to the wall and shrank as low as her adult body would let her. “Please, I’ll study harder, I’ll read more, I’ll stop playing with other ponies and Spike… just don’t take me out of school.”

Rainbow’s ears drooped and she looked at the foals around her. All unicorns, all nervously looking between her and the cowering mare that was behaving like one of them, and she understood everything in that moment. She sat and looked at Twilight, “I’m sorry, Twilight, I didn’t mean to sound so mean.

“Look, uh, I’m not really good at talking to foals and being soft, it’s not my style, so… can you just walk with me and we can talk about this. Princess Celestia won’t know, even. It’ll be between just you and me, alright?” she rubbed a foreleg against the other and realized she’d been looking at the floor.

She looked at Twilight again and saw the mare hesitantly stand up and take a slow step closer, then another. “You mean it? I’m not in trouble?”

“Psh, you can’t get in trouble at school if you tried,” Rainbow beamed and the class groaned while Twilight perked up a bit. “I mean, I’ve never known a pony that’s as smart as you. You’re Princess Celestia’s student, for Celestia’s sake,” she blinked at what she’d said, then shook her head, “you’re the most powerful magic user in Equestria, why would you think seeing Princess-”

“Princess Principal Celestia.”

“Yeah,” Rainbow rolled her eyes, “her. C’mon, egghead, let’s get out of this place.”

Rainbow draped a wing over Twilight and led her through the door and into the hall, where they immediately hiccupped and felt themselves fly apart. Twilight fell down while Rainbow went up in an uncontrolled fall through the school hallway, both felt gravity under their hooves and in the shock of a couple seconds they both landed, separated again, only Rainbow didn’t stop at the far wall with a soft pillow to cushion her; she fell through a window made from royal icing and splatted into a bathtub full of sweet whipped cream.

A shower nozzle squeaked when she broke the surface and inhaled a breath of air, and she winced and yelped, then trudged through the topping to escape the butterscotch candies that were raining on her.

“Darn it, Discord! What the hay? I had her right under my wing,” Rainbow tried to move her wings, but they weighed too much and she quickly realized she couldn’t even lift them over her head from the weight of the cream.

Rainbow shuddered along her back from tail to her neck as Discord slithered under her bodysuit, the thought of him popping out and doing something he thought was funny at that moment almost sickened her, so she wasn’t expecting a gummy worm to rear up from below her and roar audibly, spittle of chocolate cream filled cookie crumbles covering her exposed body. She gulped and smiled awkwardly at it. “Uh, nice worm?”

She tried to turn and run, swim, fly, all to no avail as the worm chomped down on her and lifted the screaming mare into the air. It tipped its head back and in a moment of sheer terror, Rainbow whinnied and thrashed as the deepest instincts of her kind took over her mind. She didn’t say another word, she couldn’t, not as its gummy mouth forced her into its body and she got to see the whipped cream cover her again, only this time she couldn’t breathe, barely move, and it was pitch black.

A bright flash of red light changed the color of the worm for a split second, just before it exploded and Rainbow hovered in the air above a pock mark of cream. She nickered, looked around in a panic, and then reared and kicked the air as she flew up and back into the hallway.

She landed in front of a surprised Discord, who was standing by a doorway and talking to somepony. He pulled the door closed, folded it several times, then ate it with a loud gulp. “My, Rainbow Dash, you seem to have-” She flew into him, tackling him to the floor and before he could form a witty remark she landed a solid slap with the wall of her hoof across his face.

Discord shattered into ten thousand and two candy pieces that coated the floor when she struck him and she didn’t waste a second; she started stomping on the candies shouting curses and promises of terrible things she’d do to him until she slipped and fall onto her side, panting.

Discord walked through a locker wearing a school uniform that focused on Twilight’s purple scheme and looked down at her. “Feel better after going feral for a moment?”

Rainbow lifted her head and then the rest of her followed as she hovered eye level with him. “Stop this right now, Discord. It’s not fun or funny to have me eaten!”

“Oh? I thought nothing scared you, most daring pony,” he widened his eyes and images of her challenging Applejack to feats of ability flashed inside his pupils. “Now,” he said from behind her and placing an arm over her back to hold her in place, “there’s your friend, Twilight Sparkle,” the other Discord pointed down the hall and Twilight looked up, from her perspective, down the hall to them.

He snapped his fingers and the lockers opened, books and all manner of school supplies floated across and down the hall in an unorganized pattern. “I can’t take your element away, but it doesn’t seem you know it’s true power consciously, so I don’t need to worry about it. Just, go get your friend and we’ll have a nice long talk after,” he finished by shoving her into the Discord she first saw.

They tumbled over each other with Rainbow ending on top, she raised a hoof to slap him again; luckily stopping as a high pitched scream assaulted her ears. She hopped up and back, apologizing to the colt who replied with more screams as he ran past her and jumped through the window.

She watched as the window swirled after him and shrank to nothing with a very unique whoop sound. She shook her head and looked down the hall. Her wings flexed, she shifted inside the bodysuit, and she bent her knees. “Here I come, Twi.”

Rainbow bound forward and under the first set of stuff and things flying between lockers, then over, around, then between notebooks, folders, and through a loopty hoop that spun slowly. She came to a sudden stop when the obstacles began to gather and fill the hallway, barring her passage.

“Whatever you think you’re gonna do, it isn’t gonna work!” She leaned into a more aerodynamic stance and launched at the the wall, slamming into it and bouncing back to the ground with an oof. “I’ve knocked down stacks of rocks that were harder than you,” she spat on the floor when she was standing again and repeated the action three more times before she finally landed and held her head between her hooves.

That was when she looked behind her and noticed the path was clear all the way back to the windowless wall she’d been through. She rocketed towards the wall and landed with her hooves against it, looking down the hall at the obstruction. “Try and stop this,” she said and launched herself into a rainboom that shattered the reality Discord created when it erupted.

She saw the reality shatter like a photograph torn to shreds and let blow into the wind, except her friend that she caught and held onto as they struck the darkness and appeared on the stage. She heard a roar of applause, the crowd had grown by hundreds and the stage had proper lighting, a red curtain backdrop, and a podium with microphone.

Discord picked her and Twilight up into a tight hug that both mares struggled in. “What fortuitous chances in your favor, dearest Rainbow Dash,” his arms left his body and new ones grew in their place so he could clap. “I didn’t expect you to get so much out of that one, and so fast, too. You really are the fastest mare,” he winked, “is that in every capacity?”

Rainbow bucked at him from the hold his hovering pawed arm had across her while starting to blush. “Stuff it, let us go so I can get onto the next whatever and save my friends.”

She looked over at Twilight and stopped struggling when she saw the awkward look she was getting. “Smarty Pants? You’re really here?! Oh my gosh,” Twilight giggled and was released from the draconic arm at the same time as Rainbow was. She caught Rainbow in her magic and brought her in for a big hug and nuzzle that Rainbow didn’t stop right away. “I’m so glad you’re here, you can help me think of a way to stop big bad Discord.”

“Okay, that’s enough,” Rainbow pushed Twilight back as Fluttershy and Pinkie came from behind the curtain, “look, there’s our friends, go get sappy on them.” She looked at her foreleg and then the rest of her, dressed as Twilight’s doll she’d seen a glance of once.

Discord clicked a camera, the flash getting her attention as the camera rolled onto itself and formed a complete picture of Rainbow in a very tight fitting bodysuit, this time she had a visual when he held the picture so she could see. Stitched eyes and black rope dangled in her view when she moved her head.

Discord crumbled the picture into a ball and tossed it aside where a wheel of cheese splashed from the floor and rolled around and to Discord. He hopped onto it and rocked side to side. “Great! Well, now that you’ve found friend number three, you’re feeling more complete, aren’t you?” he asked as Rainbow hair fell into her eyes. Rainbow grinned and brushed her hoof across her mane from forelocks to the base of her neck.

“Much better, three more? Piece of cake.”

Pinkie’s face appeared between Rainbow’s front legs and the pink mare’s grin unnerved Rainbow more than usual, being so close and out of nowhere. “Cake? Can I have some?!”

Rainbow took to the air and backed away from Pinkie and noticed Discord had a raised eyebrow at her. “No cake, Pinkie. Go plan a saved friends party, we’ll have cake then.”

Pinkie saluted with a smile. “Okie dokie lokie!”

Discord lifted his paw and winked. “I want cinnamon icing,” he snapped his fingers and Rainbow saw the world flash white, then blue. Carousel boutique blue, and she face hooved. “Great, dresses,” she said looking at dozens of ponyquinnes wearing all manner of dresses of all colors.

6. Sewing Seeds

“Alright, let’s get this over with,” Rainbow inhaled and shouted, “Rarity? I’m here, where are you?”

Her ears swiveled and fabric rustles in a nonexistent wind that blew through her mane, and the mane of the suit she was wearing. She wasn’t prepared to be attack from above and swung around when she hit the floor, a short struggle ensued and Rainbow felt like she was losing a couple times, the suit getting in the way at the worst times.

She finally flapped her wings and created a gust of wind that blew everything, from dresses to plastic models, away from her. She stood muzzle to muzzle with herself, only with blue eyes and a very curled/coiffed mane. “Darling?!” Her voice came out of her doppleganger’s mouth with the heavy haughty accent Rarity used.

Rainbow took a step back from herself and cringed. “Buh?”

“Oh, psh-aw, we needn’t spend time with such trivalities as our backgrounds. My name is Rainbow Rarity and this,” he opened her wings and smiled a winning smile, “is moi boutique! Where everything is chique, unique, un magnifique. This dress I’m wearing,” she turned aside and showed a slender, form fitting black dress that hugged her body, “is one of my latest tre magnifique masterpieces. As you can see, black truly goes with everything as it simply makes my coat shine, where fabric meets fur neither mare nor stallion can, nor should they want to tell where they truly blend into one another. It’s formed to fit and doesn’t hinder the movement of my wings nor does it interfere with my aerodynamics, and where it widens and arches over my hindquarters to give freedom of movement is simply devine.

“Overall, it feels like wearing a lover that hugs you tightly and won’t let you go,” she flapped and hovered while Rainbow sneered at her other self, “oh, to be held like this is certainly like having an affair of the body, but neigh the heart,” she extended her forelegs to the side and slowly landed, opened her eyes and looking Rainbow over.

“Rarity?”

“Oh, I prefer Rainbow Rarity, or RR,” she rolled her eyes snidely, “as some have come to call me. And what, might I ask, are you wearing?”

“A stuffed bodysuit that looks like my friend’s doll.”

RR tutted and shook her head, “no, dear. I don’t kink shame and your fetishes are yours to do with as you please, however the dress, if you can call it that, is anything but goche, at best. You have come to the best boutique for the best dresses for the best ponies, and I’m here to make you and your,” she looked Rainbow over, “choice of outerwear shine.”

“Woah, this is too freaky. I don’t want anything to do with this dress, bodysuit, or weirdo version of me, I just want my friend back.”

RR flew around Rainbow in a rainbow colored blur and picked her up, carrying her to a showroom pedestal where she was gently set down and measuring tape quickly began tracing across her body. “Yes, and when you find your friend you’ll be the talk of her week,” she flew into Rainbow’s sight and winked, “or is it a he?” She blinked at the expression that Rainbow made. “Or she… I don’t judge when it comes to love, only couture; and you need something your special somepony will remember for days.”

Rainbow opened her wings to fly away, only to be stopped when measuring tape was pressed to the base of her wing and sent her into a brief giggle fit. “Hey, I don’t have or want a special somepony.”

“Ah, marvelous! Hitting the town and looking one’s best is a must in all occasions, why, this one time I was at a small gala where the models were the best dressed, it was simply a nightmare. Well, best dressed save for moi,” she tittered in a soft voice as she landed behind Rainbow.

Rainbow inhaled sharply and leapt forward into a slow glide. “No pony touches my hooves, not even me. Look,” she tried to bite the dress that dangled outside her view to get it off, “I don’t wear clothes unless I have to,” she grunted while speaking, “and I’m not wearing a dress over this stupid thing. Just find me a white unicorn with gems on her flank and I’ll be out of this,” she looked around as she glided over a table covered with cloth.

“Oh, you mean Dash Belle,” RR chirped and tapped her chin thoughtfully. “I haven’t seen her for a few moons now. Why don’t you land right here and I can fill you in on her latest whereabouts,” RR said more than asked. She tapped a hoof on the floor and turned to follow Rainbow as the mare thought over her options.

Rainbow finally landed and stomped onto the pedastal. “Get me out of this dress,” she said curtly and RR was only too happy to oblige. Rainbow felt the tugging and yanking as it was pulled off her, then finally saw the multicolored dress tossed aside, into a box full of scrapped clothing and torn fabric.

“Now that you’re out of that dreadful-”

“Okay, that’s enough,” Rainbow turned to RR and placed a forehoof on the black dress and RR stepped back with a disgusted look at the hoof, “ugh, don’t start with the drama. Look, I’m just gonna go look around and see if I can find her.”

Rainbow hovered and started to fly away, stopping only when her other self flew in her way and flipped her curled mane. “Well, if you feel you don’t want my services then I feel you should leave and let other customers have their turn,” Rainbow looked around and glared at the spirit of Rarity that had taken over her body.

“There’s nopony even here! Get out of my way,” she shoved the well dressed mare aside and while she tumbled end over end into a ponynequin, Rainbow shot for the stairs and ascended them while a shout of frustration followed her.

She flew up, and up, and up the stairs as they wound in a large spiral, seeming to go on forever. She finally stopped and turned around, flying back down to ask RR about the stairs only to change into a glide, and finally land with a puff of breath. “Great, stuck on stairs. What else can happen?” she covered her mouth with her forehooves, then her forehooves with her wings. She looked side to side, backing up to the wall so she could listen and watch both directions of stairs.

That was when the wall opened and in a green blur of light, she was enveloped in slime. Rainbow scowled and started to swim for an exit, finally poking her head from the onion smelling goop and fell to the floor in a tumble that left her sitting. She turned her head to the side and smacked the other side, she was rewarded with a few drops of green liquid that oozed from her ear and gave her a shiver.

She looked behind her and saw a giant green blob that had what seemed like a smile. She smiled back and waved, to her surprise it waved back. A low blurble and gurgle followed and she introduced herself, asking about Rarity as she went through the motions. It sank into itself and produced a tiara that clattered to the floor, rolling past Rainbow and down what she now realized was a hall reminiscent of the stained glass hall in Canterlot Castle, only with framed poorly drawn caricatures.

“Yeah, that’s her. Total drama queen, unicorn, gems for a mark.”

It formed a smiling head again and sank into itself, producing the unicorn herself. Rarity was on her back and stayed as it slid off of her, save for her hind legs. Rarity gasped for air and coughed a lung full of green slime from her mouth and nose. “Ghuh, positively vile creature, unhoof me or I’ll do something we shall both come to regret,” she offered in an empty threat.

“Rarity! I can’t believe I found you, c’mon, let’s get outta here,” Rainbow grinned at Rarity, who looked at the upside down mare for a couple seconds and grinned back.

“Rainbow! I can’t believe you’re here to save me from this… this… ooze monster,” she pouted and reached to the pegasi, “look what it’s done to my mane and tail, ruined. Absolutely ruined my style and,” she blinked and rolled over, her hind legs crossing while she pushed herself up on her forelegs. “And what in Celestia’s name has it put on you? Garish isn’t strong enough a word.”

“This,” Rainbow gestured to herself in the bodysuit, “was Discord, not that thing,” she pointed at it and softened her gaze when she noticed it seemed sad. It turned away and sank into the floor; to both their surprise it took Rarity with him and they both screamed when she seemed to melt through the marble floor. “Hang on, I’m coming, Rarity.”

She reared and stomped her forehooves on the floor several times, then tried to dig through the marble; it worked as well as one would expect, so she shouted at the scuff marks her hooves had made.

“Hey, quiet down out there, I’m trying to rest,” a voice called to her and she looked around. “To your right and on the wall,” it said when she couldn’t find it and after several spins. “Yeah, pictures that talk, crazy, right? Name’s Minoy Angoy Noy, you wouldn’t happen to have a pencil, do you?”

Rainbow shook her head.

“Figures. The way to follow the Smooze is easy, all you have to do is lose. Take a crown or take some gold, drop it and it will add it to its horde untold. There, I’ve fulfilled my contract with Mickelodeon ™, copyright, all rights reserved and am thus free to offer clues without rhyming.”

“So, can you tell me what that meant?”

“Yes, but I won’t,” it blew a raspberry and returned to a still drawing.

Rainbow looked back to the tiara and shrugged, “Well, here’s something shiny,” she called out, “come and get it. Here Blobby, Blobby, Blobby,” she waited and frowned, growling around the circlet. “Come get your stupid thing and give me back my friend!”

Her voice echoed, but there wasn’t any response. Rainbow stomped the floor and took to the air, flying to the far end of the hall and landing when she saw a very small door. “Wait, seriously? I have to squeeze through that in this,” she tugged at her Smarty Pants costume, put the tiara around her neck because she wasn’t going to look girly, and nickered as she crawled into the doorway.

She managed to get her head through, when her body got stuck and she found the other side of the doorway was polished to a mirror shine, thus removing any grip she could have had. It took her hooves slipping to make her shout in anger and thrash like a foal denied candy in a very busy store. Somewhere, perhaps even Discord was blushing and denying it was his fault while several pairs of eyes glared at him.

Four hooves clacked onto the floor and Rainbow’s ears pointed to the sound before she saw who it was. “Great, it’s you…”

“Oui, tis moi. Fashionista to the stars and… garters what happened to you?” RR asked, her normal voice coming through at the end. “I mean, whatever happened to you, darling, to end up in such a predicament? Hold on, I shall return.”

Rainbow watched as RR flew away at a speed that made her give a half smile. “She’s kinda fast, but I’d still beat her in a race.”

RR returned a second later with a stick of butter and a frown adorning her face. “You think you can beat me in a race?” she laughed loudly, condescendingly, and loudly. “You jest, there’s no pony that’s ever beat me in a fair race.”

“Help me out and I’ll show you what a real race is like.”

“Very well then,” RR unwrapped the butter and rubbed it between her forehooves, then rubbed around the doorframe. “Now for a little tug,” she grabbed the door frame and pulled it up, sizing it into the proper size a door should have been, much to Rainbow’s surprise.

“How’d you do that?” she asked, standing up.

“This is a Discord world. Sometimes what you see isn’t truly what you see. On your marks, get set-”

“Woah, where’re we racing to?”

“Oh, um, how about,” RR’s mane swung in the wake of Rainbow’s contrail and she narrowed her eyes. “Oh, it is on.” She bolted after Rainbow Dash, quickly catching up and passing her with a mocking laugh. “Too slow!”

RR turned a corner that blended into the wall and down a smaller hallway that Rainbow didn’t see until she was past it. She made a turn so sharp her wing joints stung under the strain, but it wasn’t going to stop her. She followed her other’s trail and when it turned up so did she, right into a, thankfully, rounded sconce.

She blinked her eyes open and saw purple flower petals raining down on her; her head throbbed and she sat up from the floor and looked down the hall she was facing. She squinted her eyes as the hall slipped into and out of focus, then turned her head to look behind her down another length of hall.

“That was a cheap trick, I’d never do that,” she winced as she got to three of her hooves, “probably.” She looked at her hoof and was glad she wasn’t bleeding, then flew quickly down the hall she was facing. “RR, I’m coming for you!”

Her voice echoed back to her, only it was a little snide. She knew she was mocking herself and followed the voice to RR, who was leaning against a door inside a small room to her right She landed and glared at the hovering mare. “Hey, glad ta see ya made it. Look, it’s cool if ya just go ahead and admit defeat at my hooves,” RR bragged in Rainbow’s voice.

“What happened to your accent, dork for brains.”

“Nice one, Smart Pants,” RR smiled coyly and even Rainbow had to give her a nod at her joke. “I don’t feel a mare like you deserves to hear me at my best, so here I am at my worst.”

“Ha, that dress is the worst,” Rainbow looked at the dress RR was wearing, “I mean, really? How can you even fly in that thing? It’s so ugly!”

“Ugly?! This’ designed after Spitfire’s dress uniform!” she looked back and admired the stitching she’d done twice to get right, “she’s the captain of the Wonderbolts and has a different,” her curled hair wafted after Rainbow as she took off through the door, into the room, and down a staircase at the back. “Cheater!”

“Takes one to know one,” she shouted back and flew, a floor below, back where she’d come from. RR entered her field of view to quickly pass her again and this time she flew in front of Rainbow and the back of her dress came off, blinding Rainbow and, as luck would have it, managed to get stuck between the tiara on her neck and the button eyes on her bodysuit.

Rainbow screamed as she pulled at the fabric and RR realized she’d made a mistake in her retaliation as Rainbow turned quickly towards a wall. “Hang on, I’ve got ya!”

RR banked and flew back, missing Rainbow by a hair when the mare pulled up slightly on the draft created by RR’s first flyby. Normally it wouldn’t be more than an inconvenience, but this writer doesn’t like cliches, so Rainbow clipped RR’s wing and they both spun wildly in the air, helicopter blade speed until Rainbow bounced off a wall and RR landed on the floor with a loud squeal as the fabric of her once dress but now shirt, dragged her along.

Rainbow landed and pulled the cloth off her face. “Ha, this’ totally too thin, I could see right through it!”

Both mares blushed and blinked at what she’d said and RR’s tail fell while she looked over her shoulder at her brash self. “You didn’t see anything, did you?”

“No, just your stupid tail trying to keep up,” she hovered and stuck out her tongue while RR stood and slipped, both her forehooves losing purchase on the marble floor. She tried to stand, her forelegs finally crossing she fell to the floor and clacked her teeth together so hard it hurt her front set when her chin impacted. Rainbow laughed at the stumbling mare, even as RR opened her wings and yelped when she couldn’t take off.

“You… broke my wing?!”

“That, hotshot, is barely a fracture. I clipped you just right to sprain it, good luck winning, Butter Hooves.”

RR screamed in rage as she tried so very hard to give chase, only to have to watch Rainbow’s form shrink and turn a corner when she crossed a sconce. She smirked and her eyes flashed red on yellow. “Well done, playing unfair in an unfair race. Commendable,” Discord said and vanished in a flash, leaving what was left of the dress shirt on the floor.

Rainbow flew to the blob and saw Rarity floating inside its center, forelegs crossed over her chest and frowning at nothing, simply being indignant. Her eyes widened and she reached toward Rainbow as the Shmooze gave her its attention. “Hey, blubber butt! Trade you this,” she held the tiara up, “for that,” she pointed to Rarity, who promptly frowned at what Rainbow’d said.

It nodded fervently and Rarity slid up its center and out of its mouth, in exchange for the golden circle that it ate in a single bite and hummed approvingly.

Rainbow swooshed in and picked Rarity up, then flew back and away before setting the white mare down. Rarity just stared at Rainbow with unblinking eyes that wandered over her body.

”That doll of Twilight's,” Rarity clapped her hooves together with a swelling of pride that she remembered. “What in Celestia’s name have you gotten yourself into, Rainbow?”

“I made Discord upset, so he's having me go through these tests to find you girls. I've already got Pinkie, Fluttershy, Twilight, and now you.”

“That only leaves our dearest Applejack, but where is she? Shall I accompany you on this adventure?” She bounced her mane only to find it was slick with slime. She inhaled deeply and placed a forehoof to her head, then fell into the floor. “Ouch! Rainbow?!”

“What?”

“You were supposed to catch me, or pull my fainting couch out for me.”

“Does it look like there's a couch in here?”

Rarity looked around the grand hall. “Are we in Canterlot?”

“I dunno, let's just get out of here and-” her ears fell when Rarity screamed, pointing behind Rainbow. The cyan mare managed to see her friend faint, again, before what felt like a thunder cloud fall into her and everything went green.

7. Bucking Nonsense

Rainbow felt slime roll across her body from back to hooves and eventually felt it against her skin and while it was gross, it was nice to feel something that wasn’t cloth or cloud. Then, the feeling was gone and she felt the urge to breathe. She inhaled deeply and coughed some slime from her mouth, then stood up ready to shout at Discord instead facing a mirror that let her see she was wearing a white cat bodysuit, much like opalescence with bows on each ear. She saw movement from the corner of her eye, not sure what to expect.

She wasn’t expecting to be looking at a banana the size of Big Mac. She really wasn’t ready to see it glide across the ground and start peeling itself, showing the top half of a mare that was merged with the fruit. Rainbow grimaced and backed away, then moved aside while it slid past her trailing purple slime that she gagged at when thoughts crossed her mind.

Rainbow watched as it kept sliding and then tore her gaze from it to look around the Apple’s farm. “Huh,” she said as she watched what she considered to be food as it milled about and gathered. Dozens of variety of plants, flowers, and other eatables intermingled while country music played from inside the barn, and while being clearly edible and somewhat appetizing, the fact that each item had a pony’s upper body carved out of the top.

From a pumpkin that rolled and stopped with a fat mare on its stem, to corn with a pony made of husk. Rainbow trotted into the mix, ready for anything. “Hey, who’s in charge here?” she asked an old pickle that turned and smelled like it was from a very old jar. She coughed when the pony on its top opened its mouth and exhaled vinegar and spices. Rainbow looked up and flinched back, taking a step away when she noticed it didn’t have eyes, just black dots.

“Why is it talking?” it hissed in a slow voice. Nearby a stalk of corn and a very ripe beet turned to look at what the pickle was talking about and both screamed. The party, save for the music, came to a halt and every eye was on her.

The potato didn’t need to turn to see her, but it was hanging out with a hemp leaf and was a little too fried to notice at the moment. Rainbow looked around the party and smiled awkwardly. “Uh, hey, you seen Applejack?”

An apple appeared from behind a bale of hay with green lipstick marks on its body, followed by a green apple. “It wants to eat us?!” the red apple screamed and started running away while the green apple watched her leave.

“Well, I wish I would be eaten,” she huffed.

“Don’t mind her,” a yellow carrot said from beside Rainbow making her jump, “that apple’s just green with envy and red’s a bit raw about losin’ his uncle in Fuji last year. Name’s Tippy Toppy Pippy Poppy Yellow Yarn Green Grass, but you can call me Tpyg.”

“Ain’t noveg callin’ ya that, Tops.”

The carrot turned around and its greens waved the pony atop it. “Who said that? Was it you? It was! Onion, you stinker, don’t interrupt me while I’m talkin’ to this thing,” he turned back to Rainbow and its leafy arms crossed. “What are you, by the way?”

“I’m Rainbow Dash, fastest pony in Equestria,” she struck a pose and heard the gathering gasp. “Yeah, I know, you’re impressed. I’ll-”

“Murderer!” “Killer!” “Maniac!” “Potato?” “Help, save the children!” “Oh Harvest, why won’t anyveg think of the children?!” “Potato?” “Man the lifeboats, save the peppers first.” “Stuff yourself and wait!” “Potato!”

The crowd panicked, scattering to the orchard and hiding behind trees as they went while Rainbow shook her head. “I’m not hungry right now and I’m not going to look at vegetables any different, they’re still just food, Discord.”

Something bumped into her rump and she looked behind her. “Orange you glad you didn’t see me earlier?” and orange unpeeled itself to an empty pithy inside and it covered her in a swift move, enveloping her in darkness.

Rainbow bucked out and the orange peeled itself, falling onto Rainbow exposing her to the bright light of a halogen bulb, flickering at random. “Guh, what the hay’s-” she blinked when a swell of applesauce splashed onto her hooves; she was standing on a raft made from apple tree bark. There wasn’t anything for as far as she could see, just the sweet smelling applesauce and her on a raft. She sat and felt something under her, jumping when she heard a whine.

“Ew, you sat on me. Hi, I’m Leek,” a normal enough leek with a pony stallion’s face at the base said.

“Of course,” Rainbow had to laugh, “there’s a leek in the boat, I get it! Ha, okay, that one’s pretty funny.”

“So, none of this is funny but you’ll laugh at a joke that lame?” Leek gestured around with its leaves.

“Heh, classic,” Rainbow said licking her lips. “I think I’m getting hungry, glad Discord didn’t ‘leek’ me alone out here,” she bore her teeth in a grin and took a step towards Leek.

“You wouldn’t!?”

The chase began with them running around the outer edges of the raft, finally Leek jumped over the edge with a scream and Rainbow followed, once under the surface she felt the cool refreshing feel of water and swam in a lazy circle and tasted the sweet taste of soda. She swam up and broke the surface, gulping air, then sweet soda.

She looked around and saw bottles floating around her. “Huh, I thought this was a lake of soda, but it’s a Fanta-sea,” she fell back under the water and floated on her back. “This might be the best one yet,” she giggled and began to move her wings faster to keep herself afloat. “What the-” she gulped soda and kicked to the surface to no avail as she sank like a pony wearing a bodysuit soaked with soda.

Panic set in as it most likely would as she touched the bottom and gently touched all four hooves to the ground. She fought to hold her breath, but after twenty seconds she snerked and exhaled, inhaling deeply right afterwards with wide eyes. The she exhaled the slightly used fresh air she’d inhaled.

She looked around herself and it was tinted yellow, but she could breathe and was glad for that at least. She started to move ahead through the soda, looking around at the submerged apple trees, tried to talk without any success, and then made her way to the farmhouse. She opened the door and was sucked in with a dozen gallons of soda before Granny Smith could close the door.

“Dangnabbit, what in tarnation’re ya doin’ ta my farm? And what’re ya doin’ dressin’ like a fat cat? Ya done darn gone’n spit yer bit?”

Rainbow hacked soda from her lungs, thankful it didn’t hurt as much as it should have while lying on the floor as her bodysuit dried quickly. “Look, I’m just trying ta find Applejack. Is she in here?”

“Eeennggyyeh… Oh yeah, she’s upstairs in her room waitin’ fer ya. Said somethin’ about this bein’ the day you’ve been, uh, a’waitin’ fer er something.”

Rainbow blushed with wide eyes and stood, shaking herself while Granny frowned at her. “Uh, you’re gonna need a towel,” she said when she looked at the mare with soda dripping off her, “I’ll get you one, be back in a few,” Rainbow flew up to Applejack’s door and stopped, hovering. She hesitated and then knocked.

“C’mon in, Sugarcube. Ah’ve got somethin’ you’ve been want’n fer a while; it hot and ready fer ya.”

Rainbow landed, wings open fully. She gulped and shakily pushed the door open and looked in, she didn’t see anything out of the ordinary so she walked in and the door slammed behind her. She spun and looked at Applejack, wearing a Wonderbolt’s uniform. “Ah got in! Can ya believe it?!”

Rainbow’s jaw dropped as she looked at her groundbound friend in an aerodynamic form fitting Wonderbolts uniform that had Rainbow Dash embroidered in gold under her collar. Applejack reared and started flapping her arms and hovered. “Ah know you’ve been waitin’ fer this, but Ah guess honesty wins the race, slowpoke.”

Rainbow grit her teeth. “That’s mine, AJ. Take it off.”

Applejack smiled coyly. “Why Rainbow, not so soon.”

Applejack flew away and through her window, shattering it into romaine lettuce as she led Rainbow on a chase back into the orchard. “Get back here and give it!”

“Can’t hear ya from all that dust yer eatin’,” Applejack called back and looped around a tree, flying off in another direction while Rainbow followed. She flew into the branches of an apple tree and when Rainbow followed she quickly found out the tree’s branches and leaves didn’t seem to end where they should have.

“Great! Another endless hallway gag, so soon?” she slowed and was about to look around when she felt Applejack land on her back and slip a bit into her mouth and a rope over her muzzle

“Yee-haw! Ride’m cowpony!”

Rainbow bucked and spun, fighting the tugs on the reigns. Finally she flew her back into the trunk of the tree and heard something crack. Fearing she hurt her friend she turned around and glared at the squirrel that was glaring at her, holding a nutcracker with a freshly shelled nut on the branch.

“You mind, lady? I’m eatin’ here?!”

“Where’s Applejack? What’re you doing here, what’m I doing here?! Get over here, I know you’re Discord in disguise,” she lunged and shoved the squirrel against the trunk and pressed her muzzle to its.

“Woah, calm down, you got me,” Discord said and grew to his full height. Rainbow looked where her hooves were and squeaked pulling her hooves back and scraping them on the branch. “Why, Rainbow Dash, I had no idea.”

She hovered in his face, glaring at him. “This’ over, Discord. I’m not playing your dumb game anymore. Give me back AJ and send me home, all of us.”

He lifted his paw and held his fingers ready. “Fine, spoil sport. There’s only one thing left, anyway.”

He snapped his fingers and all five of her friends were sitting in the crowd on stage while the whole crowd otherwise was gone. “Sugarcube, what just happened?” Applejack asked holding her hat in her forehoof and fanning herself. “Ah feel like I just rode a bull and got bucked into a tree.”

Twilight smiled sheepishly and patted Applejack on the back. “You’re not totally wrong.”

Color Me Understood

Rainbow stood up and blinked several times, clearing her vision until she realized she was lying in a cloud. She swam up and when she broke the surface she snorted excess cumulus from her nose, “Cloudsdale?” she asked herself while climbing to the surface of the cloud. The city was just as she remembered it last she’d seen it. “So, I’m home? No more jokes or tricks,” she looked at her body, wearing a new bodysuit

She couldn’t see much besides the color brown behind her and her forelegs made her blink; one yellow and the other tan. She shook her head and looked back at the floating city in the sky she’d called home for the first few years of her life and took off in a wobbly flight towards the market area.

She got too many odd looks along the way, shrugging them off as another of Discord’s illusions that wouldn’t matter anyway as she flew through city streets and down unnamed but well known avenues, finally stopping by her favorite ice cream place. “Illusion or not, I deserve a treat for all this,” she said pushing open the cloud door and floating into the establishment.

The room fell silent as she flew to the counter, pegasi moving quickly to make space for her. A very nervous mare gulped when she saw Rainbow and started trembling while giving her welcome. “H-hi, what c-c-can I g-et you, Miss, uh, Ma’am?”

“Name’s Rainbow Dash, just wearing a disguise for the day,” she winked and watched other ponies back away from the edge of her vision. “I’ll take a double scoop of double mint in a cone, but with another cone on top, like it was a coney ice cream sandwich,” she motioned her hooves while talking and the sound of wings flapping got her attention enough to see most pegasi had fled through the floors and walls. “Rude,” she scoffed and looked back at the mare.

“Th… That’ll be, um,” she looked at Rainbow and made to sneeze, when she released a fake sneeze Rainbow rolled her eyes, and in that split second the mare slipped into the flooring and left Rainbow alone in the restaurant. She giggled and rubbed her forehooves together.

“All alone in an ice cream shop? Why yes, I would like to make my own cone,” she chuckled darkly as she flew to the display case and started scooping herself scoop after scoop of all her favorite flavors. She grabbed a large bowl and stuffed the multicolored glob into it, then made it a crown of cones, took some wall and fluffed it into a bag and hid the bowl inside it, and then took her leave. “I’ll send them ten bits when I get home, even if this isn’t real; they make the best ice cream!”

She laughed, pegasi scrambled out of her way, and Rainbow made her way to one of her favorite places to perch, the feeling of wind against her face was brisk and reminded her of why she loved to fly. She wasn’t very acurate or aerodynamic because of the suit, but she didn’t let that bother her.

Alighting onto a small nimbus cloud, Rainbow took it with her as she flew higher into the sky. When the air was cold to inhale and she felt the tips of her ears tingle from the frigid winds, she stopped the cloud and laid back, whimpering when she almost fell over the edge because the suit’s bulk.

She grumbled while moulding part of the cloud into a backrest so she could recline and watch the world move slowly beneath her, then she sighed in relaxation. The memories of simpler times washed through her mind while she made habitual motions brining ice cream to her mouth and chewing slowly, savoring the mariade of flavors as they swam and danced around her mouth and finally chilled her throat when she swallowed.

She snerked when she remembered meeting Applejack, then Rarity, then she remembered learning Fluttershy was living in Ponyville and how it still surprised her because she never really thought about the yellow filly between the race she met her and the moment she reheard the name two years later.

Pinkie had shown up out of the Everfree Forest one day and just never left… That led to that eventful Summer Sun Celebration and Twilight; joined destinies; she moved the ice cream to her side and leaned back more, just enjoying a short silence her mind gave her as images flashed through and little sound clips mixed themselves into snippets of time she’d already passed.

She was asleep shortly after and snorted awake suddenly when the sun was starting to set, beautiful oranges, reds, yellows, purples, a strip of blue; all danced across the clouds, most still white, in the distance as she watched. Time had no meaning, all the troubles she’d felt over the past day were in the past, and even though she was dressed in a goofy outfit, she didn’t care as a tear streaked down her cheek in this, the moment she had so rarely but loved so often.

A short period of time when she could be one with the sky in an intimate way; a way that she wouldn’t trade ten minutes with the Wonderbolts for. Well, maybe for the Wonderbolts, but they weren’t there, so she was free to enjoy her moment with the sky on her own. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath in, let it out slowly, and rolled off the cloud in a dive.

She glanced back at the cloud that still held her ice cream with a longing second, then when she reached terminal velocity she opened her wings and spun in a barrel roll, partly from experience, partly from the suit ruining her flight, but she still grinned and turned it into a large corkscrew that she inverted every four loops until she reached the ground, walking across the grass flawlessly from the end of her time in the air.

She trotted quickly towards a stream she liked to sip from and cocked her head, looking oddly at the place the stream should have been. That was the moment she remembered she was still in a game of Discord’s design. She moved to where the stream was and poked at the ground with a hoof, digging slightly then she moved her snout to the ground and snuffed loudly sending rich soil out of the tiny hole.

She lifted her head and moved to a nearby bush, twitching her ears while she went about pulling leaves from the branches and then moving down to nibble grass lightly.

Nearly an hour passed where she acted as a merely sentient horse might act when a rustling got her to stand tall and look pointedly at the noise. She tensed and when a young colt ran out towards her she turned and galloped away while he was asking for help. The colt slowed and watched her vanish into the trees faster than his legs could move, then sat with a harumph.

Rainbow watched ahead of her as she ran through or over bushes, around trees, and under low branches for nearly ten minutes before she slowed to a stop and stood still, listening. She snorted in the silence broken only by nature itself, then carefully walked to a bush and bit a slender stem, pulled back, and too leaves and berries into her mouth while leaving the stem dangling. She chewed loudly and some nomming noises left her while she ate, until she heard hoofsteps approaching, fast.

"Help," a filly called and just as she broke into the small area Rainbow was in, the mare turned and bolted away with the intention of eating alone, appearantly. The filly scowled and its form changed, elongating until Discord popped out of a stuffed toy looking displeased at Rainbow. "Why won't she just stay and play?" he asked himself.

The Discord to his right shrugged while the one to his left blew pink smoke from a small television he was smoking. "I think she's gone crazy, and we can't have two crazy creatures in this story, can we?"

They looked between one another and traded faces, all wearing one of a frustrated white rabbit. They hopped after Rainbow and Discord was intent on catching her. He chased her, easily catching up, only to lose her again and again. She hovered in the air and was pressed to a tree, her hooves still moving in a frantic pace to get her away. All she could do was whinney over and over, working a nicker in while staring around fearfully for her captor.

Discord emerged from the tree that was holding her, now rocking her in his arms while struggled to get to her hooves and run away. "Okay, that's enough," he said loudly and snapped his fingers returning Rainbow to her original form and letting her fall to the floor. "Now we're taking a break and you tell me," he started and his muzzle went flacid when she turned and galloped away again.

He teleported in front of her in a flash and reached down to catch her, only managing to get a multicolored tail slapped in his open mouth. He spat his teeth out and pointed after her, they gave chase with urgency, picking up dirt and debris, leaves and branches until Discord quickly reformed himself and shouted after her to slow down. When she whinnied in response he tripped over an exposed root and landed muzzle first into the ground.

He stood with a donut encircling his muzzle that he took off and dipped into nothing, then he took a bite of the soggy treat and burped potato chips. "What is going on with that mare," he asked, but this time before he could answer himself he took to the air, found Rainbow, and watched her.

Discord followed her from above for nearly two hours, during which time he nearly fell asleep from boredom. She wasn’t doing anything, just grazing and she leaned against a tree to take a nap, certainly a short one before she was spooked and ran away again. He dragged his hands over his face and pulled it several inches down while groaning and when he let his face go it stayed sagged. “So, boring. What’s going on with her, she’s not being fun at all!” He dove with urgency and landed in front of her, trees moved instantly and wrapped her in place preventing nearly all movement while she struggled. He looked into her eyes and saw an almost primal fear of him and he balked at her. “What’s happened to you?! You’ve gone feral!” he snapped his fingers and nothing happened.

He looked at his talons and glared, then snapped them again. And again, looking at Rainbow he growled. “Who’s done this?! Who’s taken my game and… and… taken the fun out of it?!” Silence. He sneered and slithered away, leaving Rainbow stuck in place making scared horse noises while struggling every chance she could.

He returned shortly after and the trees released her, but before she could flee he picked her up and turned her to face him. “There’s nothing near by, no spells, no hexes, no magic and this vexes me. What are you playing at?”

Rainbow switched and gave him a cocky smirk. “I played your game, now I’m playing mine; dumb horse that doesn’t know she’s in a game,” she laughed and nickered, dulling her gaze, “ready for round two?”

Discord dropped her and roared into the sky, lightning flashed, and thunder boomed… then it started raining rubber duckies and he bowed to her. “Well played, I concede this round to you. The final round is yours,” he snapped his fingers and they were on the stage, every pony Rainbow knew and felt close to was in the audience while Discord was by her side, she stood by at the lecturn with spotlights on her in the silence. “Now, all you have to do is speak the truth.”

Discord winked at her and slipped between the floorboards, leaving her alone. She cleared her throat and the sound reverberated and echoed around the room, the few ponies she could see winced at the sound and she smiled awkwardly. Just, get it over with, Rainbow Dash. This’ just another illusion, anyway.

“Well, I guess if I look back at everything,” she moved her foreleg and saw it was yellow again and chose to ignore the warmth being trapped inside the suit from the heat of the bulbs, “I guess I have to say that I’ve been through a lot of crap today. I’ve been left alone on an island during a storm, I had to play through candy to find Pinkie. I had to go through school again to get Twilight. I had to push myself through a race with myself against… my past,” she looked at the silhouette of Discord and slowly realized what she was saying. “I… let me start over.

“I was in a chaotic storm, then I had to fight through sweetness to find somepony I care about,” Discord nodded to her and Rainbow went on, “then I had to push myself and go through hoops to find Fluttershy. I had to learn to deal with problems, even one that scared me to death; only to turn around and realize that I… didn’t like myself,” she sighed and looked at the floor, scuffing it with her hooves. I hated the different me that I saw and I tried everything to not be her, even though, deep down I kind of liked what she represented and what I could be if I just gave in to my softer side.

“I also really don’t like slimy stuff,” she smiled weakly and tried to find Rarity, “so that’s something that’s true. Then,” she sighed and looked into the crowd, “I had to find AJ, and to be honest I felt like I was the odd one out, being hated by food and things that weren’t normal to me. I mean, I eat most of the stuff that was chasing me and it was like… wrong, because food is, like, below us ponies and that kinda makes sense when Discord had to change the way he did stuff, if that makes sense.

“And then the last one,” she hovered and looked at her talons and paw, now knowing she was in the shape and body of Discord, “I did to myself… I felt like the only way to beat the game was to be a dumb animal that couldn’t be what I really was,” she looked up and Discord’s silhouette moved and stayed shadowed as it seemed to look her in the eye. “Discord, I’m sorry, I didn’t really realize how much you have to change to be our friend, but I think I understand you now.”

The shadow flew into Rainbow’s eyes and in a blink Rainbow was lying on a tree in Sweet Apple Acres, the feeling of sleep and grogginess pulling at her mind. She wiped drool from her chin and looked around the apple trees, smelled the sweet fruit, and felt a warm breeze as it rustled the leaves and her mane. She flexed her wings, looked herself over, then smiled.

“It was all a dream?”

She looked ahead again and her snout bumped Discord’s, sending her falling from the tree with a yelp. “Ah-ha! That was classic, truly a prank worth its weight in gold,” he rolled in the air and held his chest laughing. Pinkie hopped into Rainbow’s vision giggling and Discord flew down to bump her hoof.

“Classic! You should’ve seen your face, Rainbow, it was all,” Pinkie pulled her cheeks and make a far more goofy face than Rainbow could have done naturally.

Rainbow rolled to her hooves and flexed her wings, then looked between the two. “Yeah,” she smiled, “that was pretty good, but you wanna see something really funny?” she asked the other two pranksters. When they eagerly nodded she told them to wait and flew off, returning a minute later and landing, kicking soil into their faces.

Pinkie and Discord were wearing face shields when the dust cleared and they laughed loudly at Rainbow’s outfit. “Rainbow Dash,” Discord laughed, “where in Equestria did you find that thing?”

Rainbow shrugged her wings and looked away casually. “I dunno what you’re talking about, I’ve had this costume for years,” she joined them in laughing while Applejack, Fluttershy and Rarity smiled facing away. Twilight ran to them, a camera held in her magic snapped a picture of all of them enjoying the moment, Rainbow Dash standing out the most dressed up as Spike the Dragon wearing a wedding dress grinning and bumping hoof to paw with Discord in the background.