Ever hear that joke about the six legged horse?
“Everypony out of the way!” Twilight exclaimed with desperation as the large crowd of ponies that frequented the streets of Ponyville were frozen in shock at the sight of their local princess. More specifically, the sight of a humans lower half sticking out of said princess’s pussy. Twilight waddled desperately towards Ponyville Hospital with the human’s legs doing their best to walk in sync with the pony they were currently stuck to.
“Twilight, please tell me the hospital is close by.” The sound of Anon’s voice was deeply muffled, given that his entire top half was currently imprisoned in magic pony princess klunge. “My back is fucking killing me having to be bent down like this, I’m pretty sure my blood circulation has been cut off as well. I wouldn’t be surprised if my legs were as purple as your fur right now.”
“Unfortunately, it’s still a few blocks from here...” Twilight grimaced as she walked by Ms.Cheerilee and her class, the fillies and colts staring in absolute horror as their poor educator desperately tried to shield their innocent eyes. Scootaloo seemed into it though.
“Alright, we’re getting nowhere fast like this, I’ve got an idea.” Anon mumbled as he stood upright, Twilight yelping as she was lifted off the ground. “Imma just walk us, you just give me directions.”
“Wait, what?!”
“You’re my eyes babe!” Anon screamed with untold conviction as he immediately broke into a full sprint.
“Anon stop! You’re insane! You’ll just end up running into something or someone! HARD RIGHT!” Twilight complained as her boyfriend almost ran head first into a concrete wall.
“Of course I’m insane! My entire upper body is currently trapped inside a purple pony princess, which shouldn’t be possible given my torso alone is bigger than you!” Anon retorted. “Now shut up and give directions! You’re my Google Maps Twi!”
“I don’t even know what that is!”
Ponyville Hospital
Nurse Redheart smiled as she watched her latest patient wave to her as they happily trotted out the door. On that particular day there hadn’t been many ponies needing any medical assistance, and those that did only had very minor injuries or ailments. Having a slow day like this was refreshing to the pink maned mare. She was about to take a well deserved coffee break when a horrifying figure burst through the front doors into the main lobby.
“Outta the way! Reverse centaur comin’ through!” Anon’s muffled warning echoed out as he sprinted right for the receptionist desk.
“Anon stop! We’re in the hospital!” Twilight cried out in panic as she braced herself for impact.
“We are? Fuckin’ finally.” The cunt concealed human sighed in relief as he slowed himself and stopped as he felt his foot touch the bottom of the receptionist desk.
“Um... can we help you?” The terrified receptionist asked shakily, not sure if she should laugh or scream at what she was witnessing.
Twilight cleared her throat and gave th poor pony an awkward smile. “Y-Yes, could please fetch a doctor or nurse for us please?”
“No need, I’m already here...” Redheart announced with a puzzled expression as she walked into Twilight’s field of view.
“Redheart? Is that you?!” Anon asked with muffled desperation. “Oh thank God! Please, you gotta get me outta here! I think this thing is tryin’ to eat me! I’m not goin’ out like this man!”
“Just calm down Anon we’ll figure something out.” Redheart reassured the trapped human as she walked around, trying to make heads or tails of what she was witnessing. “How did you even end up like this?”
“Oh, I don’t think this is a good place to explain ho-“ Twilight began to whisper before she was interrupted by Anon.
“Well I was trying to eat out Twily here after she had a hard day, but when I stuck my tongue in her happy hole it just got pulled in further and further until eventually it sucked me up like this.” The human explained loudly as multiple parents covered their foals ears while casting judgemental glares at the pair. “I can feel your stares! Judge all you want! All you mares are just jealous that your stallions will never be as deep in you as I am in my mare right now!”
“Anon in the name of all that is sacred please shut up...” Twilight groaned with embarrassment as she hid her face behind her wings.
“Honestly I’m just glad this didn’t happen with me going in dick first, whoa would my spine be fucked beyond repair.”
“Quick question, can you breathe in there?” Redheart interrupted as Anon was about to ramble on further.
Twilight felt Anon become extremely still inside her before he collapsed.
“Well, that answers that question.” Redheart groaned as she motioned for a passing nurse to bring a stretcher.
Redheart’s Office
“Well, the forceps didn’t work either...” Redheart groaned as she threw the tool in her hooves onto a growing pile of failed attempts to remove the human from the alicorn’s gash. “You doing ok?” The frustrated nurse asked as she looked up to her purple patient.
“Well given that after all those failed attempts my vagina is now mangled beyond repair, I’m about as ok as any mare could be in this situation...” Twilight answered coldly.
“Perhaps if we tried a C-Section...”
“No.”
“You’re right, that wouldn’t be pretty even if it did work.”
Twilight groaned and buried her face in her hooves. “Be honest with me nurse, am I doomed to have my coltfriend be a third set of legs for the rest of my life?”
“In my professional medical opinion... I have no fucking idea.” Redheart admitted as she walked over to a small, locked box and fished out two very large blunts. “I’m all out of sane ideas, maybe if we load our brains up with THC an idea so stupid that it works will pop up.”
Before either of the two mares could get blazed to Tartarus and back, Twilight felt something in her groin start to shift. Looking down, she blinked in disbelief as more and more of Anon’s lower half was swallowed by her kooch. “Is... is my vagina eating my coltfriend?”
Redheart took a puff of her 12 inch blunt and sighed in relief. “Honestly I really don’t care at this point, if it swallows him whole the problem is fixed and I can demand a raise.”
The two mares sat in silence as they watched inch after inch of the poor human’s legs get swallowed into the unholy pit of darkness between Twilight’s legs. Eventually, any trace of th human disappeared, leaving Twilight in a state of total confusion while her nurse surfed the cosmos.
Hopping off the hospital bed, Twilight sighed and trudged towards the door in defeat. “Well, I’m gonna go home, try to mend the gaping canyon that is my marehood and die alone now.”
“Rock on purple guy...” Redheart muttered in reply as she numbed her stress with enough grass to kill... well, no one, because weed can’t kill you. Unfortunately.
The princess rolled her eyes and left the wasted nurse to be found and fired by her superiors.
idfk
As he slowly forced his eyes to open, Anon pulled himself up into a sitting position and rubbed his temples, feeling like a bus had hit him, then an aeroplane crashed into the buss and the plane was nuked form orbit. “Ugh... these ponies are gonna drive me to drink even more than I already do...”
“Tell me about it.” A familiar voice spoke from the right of him.
Anon looked over and found another him sitting on a dark purple rock, smoking a cigarette. “Um... what?”
“From the looks of things, you tried to eat pussy but the pussy ate you.” The other Anon explained as he took a puff of his cigarette. “Just like all these poor fucks.” He said, nodding his head to a group of Anons sitting around a campfire.
“Ok... so... what now?”
“Well there’s a group of us that are female, could probably go fuck one of them. Other than that, only thing to do here is smoke or drink.”
“Pony pussy does lead to paradise...” Anon whispered with wonderment as he sprinted off to smoke, drink and literally fuck himself.
Author's Note
I don’t fucking know either
