Interview With the Merpony
Interview With the Merpony
First thing we did was clean up the ocean. I mean, what did you expect? Us to just abandon mother earth and move to Equus' oceans that didn't need help?
It involved opening the world's biggest recycling center, underwater! How's that for a feat of engineering?!
With complete control of the ocean waves, we managed to herd all that plastic to be melted down and recycled!
I won't say we saved the planet or something pretentious like that, but I'd say we sure as Hell did a lot towards it!
Wait, I haven’t introduced myself? Okay, introductions! Call me Pearl Polish, born Veronica Altar. College graduate. Major in oceanography. Always wanted to save the planet! I owned a fully electric car and everything (none of that hybrid nonsense)! I naturally gave pretty much everything I owned to my family or to charity when I decided to make the plunge! Haha!
No, we don't shift back and forth between species, to be honest those hippogriffs I've heard about shifting back and forth is kinda creepy to me! This creates a lot of confusion for ponies who meet us and think we're all just transformed hippogriffs! I heard it ticks off the merponies, and to be honest, I've begun to see why. Being asked every five minutes by Equus land ponies to just 'change into a hippogriff' and come out of the water gets to be a headache after a while, having to explain it over and over. Ugh!
Sorry! I know you're not here to hear some stupid sob story, so I won't bore you with one! I promise! 'Oh woe is me, nobody understands me,' or 'I'm a grit tough jerk who's gonna tell you how snobby you are!' Those New Foal blogs sure are popular it seems. Yes, I still have a computer; thanks to magic/technology hybridization, we can make almost anything waterproof!
Oh, and I can apparently now sing. I was totally tone deaf as a kid, but now I can actually carry a tune, still the picture girl for 'unexceptional singing' where merponies are concerned, but apparently as far as singing is concerned, it apparently just comes naturally to them, us, heh.
You've also got to admit, with two-thirds of the planet now opened up, and with the depth and height of the ocean, it'll take a lot of the population pressure off!
We're just over a third of the time you set aside for the interview? Okay okay, sure I have more to say! I mean, geeze, ever heard of quality over quantity? Just because something is short doesn't make it inferior. I know quantity is a quality all on its own but there's something to be said about short and sweet. Oh! Talk more about ME?! Okay!
Well, the architect for all the new homes we've building underwater deserve a medal for how beautiful they are. Oh, me personally you mean? Okay.
I'll admit, I might have been kinda naive at first. Having seen Little Mermaid as a kid, I did kinda have an ideal picture of what living as a mermaid would be, (well, merpony it turned out). The first thing I found out when King Leo's Aquaestrians helped us set up underwater communities was that there's no avoiding waste. Oh there was plenty of garbage to pick up right from the start, centuries of treating the big blue as your personal trash can will do that, but the merponies had to deal with trash, left-overs, and going to the bathroom the same as any other civilization!
So yeah, waste management, waste treatment, ecological preservation, recycling, all of it comes with being a community whether on dry land or under the sparkling sea.
I remember bloggers telling me and everyone else who signed up to become merponies that we were insane, that we'd die of suffocation from all the filth in the ocean, or worse. And that trying to clean up the great pacific garbage patch was a fool's errand. But like I said, we proved them wrong. I know almost no one notices except those who keep an eye on the sea, but I notice, I can tell, and so can my schoolmates - as in the biological term and the educational term. And there are plenty of animals out there who aren't dying every day from eating plastic because of my school's efforts.
Since most of the ocean is in international waters, we have to kinda look after ourselves, law enforcement, protection, medical care, the works. This makes it awkward with the many boats going overhead, who technically have every right to be here as we do.
Ever heard of Rip-Tide? Born John McStorm, nice guy, acted like he was Aquaman, good looking. Brave idiot tried to stop some human traffickers like he was freakin' Aquaman! (I loved the comics as a kid! I don't care what anyone else says, Aquaman rocks!). He was shot. Doctors saved him, but he still swims with a limp.
As for off-shore drilling, they actually ASKED for our help to ensure there were no accidents or spills.
A friend of mine, Sea-Violet, is getting some to think we should declare ourselves our own nation, calling ourselves the nation of New Atlantis... There are a lot of us... but I don't think there are that many of us... And I don't know the first thing about how international recognition as your own country even works!
No! I did NOT think that Mother Earth had chosen to destroy humanity when the Veil first appeared, thank you very much! In my humble opinion humanity would destroy itself long before Mother Earth would have ever bothered. ... I won't lie, I do admire the Equestrians, they've achieved a harmony with nature I'd feared was just a fantasy!
It is a shame that we had to meet like this, there's so much we've learned from them. And now we have to deal with wild alien magic where a species change is the only way to live through it. I'll admit, I had thought about becoming Earth Pony, because there is no way in Hell I was going to become a dragon, or griffin. Earth Pony magic is all about helping the natural world grow, and that was fine by me. Pegasi would have been my second choice. But the moment I heard about the merponies? I knew what species I'd choose. I didn't care about losing my fingers (which is why I think most choose griffin or dragon or abyssian), I cared that I could finally explore the deepest depths of the ocean that no person had before, and I could do more to help and conserve the beautiful ocean that I ever could before!
How do I feel about having to go around on a wheelchair on land? You have to wear a spacesuit while underwater, fair trade. Besides, I've signed up for a magic class that’ll be held next year on how to float above the water.
The rest of my family wants to hold onto their humanity as long as they can, and I don't hold a grudge for that. Either they’re hoping the rumors about a secret human moon or martian colony are true (I don't think so), or that they'll figure out a way to breed humans who can metabolize magic like ponies can, more power to you. Even if they do, I don't regret my decision, I've seen things, done things, been places, and met people I never would have before my transformation.
I won't say I was already a merpony on the side, but I'd say that we already shared the same vested interest. Not that we're completely in tune: I'm not a vegetarian, which for equestrian ponies is so much the norm that it's not even a question when you go to a restaurant! You should have seen a merpony freak out when I offered her some crab cakes...
Just don't ask me to sing Shoo-Be-Doo for the hundredth time, oh what the heck, sure I would!
Interview time's just about over? Okay. Thank you for this. I really want people to know that my friends and I have always loved the ocean, but I still love my family and friends on dry land. And it's not like we never see each other. Oh! Right! Hi Mom! Hi dad! Hey little brother! I'm on TV! ta-da! Erm, heh, can you edit that out? We're live?! Oh! Uh, erm, eh, have a nice day everyone! Shoo-Be-Doo!