Tom groaned as a loud, shrill beeping noise assaulted his ears. His hand flopped around on the nightstand until the noise finally stopped. Grunting, Tom rolled over.

The shrieking noise of a thousand banshees invaded Tom’s eardrums as he lay with his head towards the wall.

“Damnit, fine!” Tom cursed, slamming his hand down on the alarm clock and switching it off as he pulled himself out of bed. “Fucking hate this cursed alarm clock. ‘Guaranteed to wake you up on time’ they said! Of fucking course it does when it gets increasingly louder every time you hit snooze! You’d have to be deaf to stay asleep!”

Sighing, Tom stood up, stretching his limbs as the Sun’s rays peaked through the blinds to his room. It is why I got it, though… Shaking his head, he dragged himself to the small restroom, and turned on the shower to begin his morning ritual.

Thirty minutes later, Tom was dressed and as ready as he’d ever be to face the day. As Tom locked the door to his apartment, he heard the door open behind him.

“Good morning lad,” A gruff voice called from behind him.

“Mornin’ Mr. Shoe,” Tom said, turning around squinting as the sun poured its hateful rays into his eyes.

“Glad to see you’re still alive and well. Where’s the nice young mare you brought home last night?” The gray stallion asked, tilting his head slightly. Mr. Shoe gasped, as he held a hoof to his muzzle. “She didn’t dine and dash, did she?”

“What are you talking about?” Tom asked, an eyebrow raised. “We didn’t even go out for dinner.”

“Oh, I see,” Shoe said, nodding his head with a small smile. “Well, she seemed nice enough. And you seemed rather fond of her.”

“Ugh,” Tom groaned, face-palming. “Did I sperg all over her? Please tell me I didn’t drop my spaghetti everywhere.”

“Wait, what?” The stallion asked, blinking repeatedly.

“I mean, I didn’t do anything too awkward, did I?” Tom asked, peaking through his fingers.

“Oh, I’m sure she didn’t mind,” Shoe replied, a low chuckle escaping his lips.

Tom raised an eyebrow at the stallion’s response. “Well, as long as I didn’t scare her away I suppose.”

“You did good, colt,” Shoe said, resting a hoof on Tom’s leg as he smiled up at Tom. “I’m sure everything will be fine. Just calm down and she’ll be back for you sooner than you can say ‘snickerdoodle’.”

Tom shook his head as he laughed. “You have some weird mannerisms Mr. Shoe, but thanks.”

“Anytime my young stallion,” Shoe said with a smile as he retracted his hoof. “Now you best be getting along now. Don’t want to be late for your first day on the job!”

Tom waved goodbye to the stallion as he made his way towards the spa. The one thing in Tom’s favor was that the spa was very close to his humble abode. A few minutes and the doors to the spa loomed ominously as he stared at them from across the street. No sense in trying to back out now. Gotta pay rent somehow… Sighing, he closed the distance and opened the doors to his inevitable doom.

The chime of a bell announced his presence, Lotus looking up from behind the front desk with a smile. “Welcome, Tom. Ready for your first day?”

“As ready as I’m ever going to be,” Tom said with a shrug.

“Perfect,” Lotus said, gesturing for Tom to join her behind the counter. “Let’s get started on training then.”

“Tom?” An eerily familiar voice asked as the bell chimed.

Tom looked up from the price sheets he’d been attempting to memorize with his best award-winning smile. His smile morphed into an uneasy grin as he noticed the light brown earth-pony stallion with a dark brown mane. Well, shit. There goes any chance to keep this job on the down-low. “Oh, hi Davenport. How can I help you today?”

“Why, I came to get my daily usual,” Davenport said, trotting up to the counter as he eyed Tom curiously. “Though, I can’t say I expected you of all stallions to be working here.”

“Ah, well, you know. The opportunity presented itself and I took it,” Tom said, a bead of sweat running down his brow. Daily!? You mean I have to deal with this stallion on a daily basis!? “What’s your usual, Davenport?”

“Oh, the deluxe package with extra cream,” Davenport said, waving his hoof dismissively. Davenport looked pointedly at Tom with a large Cheshire grin on his muzzle. “More importantly, I heard you were out with Starlight Glimmer last night.”

Extra cream? What the fuck? Tom looked down at the price sheets, finding nothing mentioning ‘extra cream’. Is that… Wait. He already knows about Starlight? Tom exhaled as he rubbed his temples, trying to keep his smile in place. Of course he knows. He isn’t the town gossip for nothing.

“Yeah, Starlight and I went out to Karaoke last night,” Tom replied with a shrug. “Anyways, I’m sure-“

“Oh, you must tell me all about it!” Davenport squealed, hopping on his hooves in excitement. “To think that Ponyville’s very own janefilly would-“

“That’ll be 25 bits for today, sir,” Tom said, cutting him off with a plastered on smile and nodding towards the growing line behind Davenport.

“Oh, yes. Of course,” Davenport said with a huff, hoofing over the bits. “We’ll talk later, then.”

Tom’s muscles relaxed a tad as Davenport passed, not missing the hungry glare aimed Tom’s way. Thank Celestia I found that in the price sheet. Though, it’s not going to save me for long… I’m going to have to come up with anti-Davenport measures tonight. Shaking his head, Tom greeted the next customer. “Welcome to the Ponyville Spa. How can I help you today?”

“About time,” a light-brown stallion with blue eyes said with a huff. “I’d like the ‘date-night special’, hold the side-bar conversation.”

Mother- Tom took a deep breath. Don’t get fired on your first day, Tom. Don’t do it. You’ll only make it impossible to get any other job later on… Putting on his best customer service smile, Tom quickly glanced at the price sheet. “Yes, that will be 20 bits, sir.”

“So you can actually do your job? Surprising,” The stallion snorted, placing the bits on the counter.

“Please have a seat. Someone will be with you shortly,” Tom said politely, pointing in the direction of a small waiting area. Tom sighed, taking the bits as the stallion walked away. Writing up the two order tickets, he placed the originals in the register with the bits while the copies went into the slot in the wall behind him.

“Hey there, hot stuff,” A familiar female voice called out as Tom had his back turned.

Why is it all in one day? Just why? It can’t just be staggered. Oh noooo. That would be too easy. Can’t have Tom get the easy route now. Letting out a restrained breath, Tom turned around and smiled. “Hello, Cloud Kicker. What can I do for you?”

“Oh, I think you know what you can do for me,” Cloud Kicker said, waggling her eyebrows as she leaned on the counter. “Maybe I can get a ‘happy ending’ with my massage? I’m feeling a bit pent up.”

“I’m sure you’ll be very happy with the ending of your massage,” Tom said with a carefully carved smile. “Will there be anything else?”

“Oh, Tom. You gotta stop playing so hard to get. What’s a mare gotta do to get a piece of that tail?” Cloud Kicker asked, leaning further forward, biting her lip as she angled her vision downward behind the counter.

If it were any other mare… Tom sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. Fine. I guess I’ll just have to act the part of an Equestrian male then. “Cloud Kicker, how is Gentle Breeze these days?”

“Oh, he’s fine,” Cloud Kicker said, waiving her hoof dismissively. “But I’m not here about him.”

“Right. Of course. You’re here to get your massage. How silly of me,” Tom said while nodding sagely, crossing his arms. “That’ll be 15 bits.”

“Fine, here’s your bits,” Cloud Kicker said, hoofing over the bits. She snorted as she turned away, mumbling under her breath. “Prude.”

Tom’s eye twitched at the sight of a line of stallions forming. This is going to be a long day…

Tom sighed as he leaned back against the cushioned seat, sipping from his cider.

“Wait, did Cloud Kicker really do that in front of the entire line?” Thunderlane asked, eyebrow raised as he set down his drink.

“Yeah, I thought it was a bit bold too. I’m not sure if Gentle knows she’s screwing around and doesn’t care at this point or if he’s truly that deaf and blind.”

“Wouldn’t surprise me either way,” Thunderlane snorted. “Though, I did hear you and Starlight got along pretty well last night. Care to spill the beans on what went down after you passed ol’ Mr. Shoe?”

Tom groaned as Thunderlane leaned in. “And here I though Davenport was bad…”

“Oh, c’mon!” Thunderlane said with a hearty laugh, slapping Tom on the back. “What are stallion friends for if not knowing every little detail about each other!?”

Tom rolled his eyes and smiled. “Well, you’re not going to give up anyways, are you?”

“Nope,” Thunderlane said simply, sipping his cider.

“Fine. But only because, ill-advised as it is, I actually trust you.” Tom leaned forward, lowering his voice. “She walked me home when I was plastered off my ass, we had some conversation with Mr. Shoe, but I can’t remember the details, and then she put me in bed and I was out like a log. Then I woke up the next morning. The end.”

Thunderlane rose an eyebrow, “That’s all?”

“That’s all,” Tom said with a smirk as he sat back in his seat once more. “What? Disappointed?”

“Of course I am,” Thunderlane snorted. “I was rooting for you to get some and you go and do some lame thing like falling asleep on your first real date.”

“Hey! It was not a date!” Tom snapped, a frown forming on his face.

“Sure, whatever you say. Just like how you were not flirting with each other the whole night?” Thunderlane asked, a grin on his muzzle.

“I-“ I kinda was, wasn’t I? Tom stopped, shaking his head. No, no, don’t feed Thunderlane’s ego anymore. That’s no good. “Anyways, do you have any real advice on what to do about Davenport and Cloud Kicker?”

“Fine, fine, I won’t pry any farther. I’ll be here when you’re ready to seduce her, though. Just let me know and I’ll help you out with the finer aspects of seducing a mare.” Thunderlane snorted, taking a swig of his drink. “Davenport will just be nosey. You’re just gonna have to push through that one. There’s not really any way around that.”

“I was afraid of that…” Tom replied with a sigh.

“As far as Cloud Kicker… Well, I’d like to say you could go to your bosses but I don’t really know Aloe and Lotus as well as I’d like. And trust me, I’d like…” Thunderlane drifts off, staring out at the distance with a dopey smile on his muzzle.

Frowning, Tom snaps his fingers in Thunderlane’s face.

“Right,” Thunderlane said, shaking his head and returning his attention to Tom. “Well, I think you handled it pretty well. If it gets too bad, though, we might have to resort to that plan.”

“But that one has so many potential downsides,” Tom whined, resting his head in his hands.

“I know, but it’s either that or tell the sisters. I’ll let you decide which route to take but for all we know, you might lose the one job you managed to get in your time here.” Thunderlane replied.

“Well, I guess we’ll just have to hope that it doesn’t come to that then.” Tom sighed, sipping his drink.

Author's Note

I live.

A bit of set-up in this chapter. More fun to come next time.

Fun fact, most of this was already written before today. I just go side-swiped with a bunch of new changes in my life all one after the other. I won't bore you with the details, but with any luck I'll be able to continue this on a regular basis again (Celestia, please no more life-changing events in the next few months, I beg you). Sorry for leaving you all hanging for so long.