Traveling through the portal was a trip. Like an actual drug trip. My old life may have been literal millennia ago, but I could remember certain key things. Like the fact that I may have tampered with several illicit substances in my past. And this portal felt like I had dropped acid and then gone through the 'It's A Small World After All' ride. Complete with music. I feel like it accurately portrayed hell. The end of the portal approached like an old train tunnel, and I could hear wind passing my armor as I reached it. In a glorious, terrifying moment the tunnel collapsed, I found myself stumbling from a sudden loss of inertia as I landed on solid ground. I paused as I recovered and saw my past. In front of me sat a city. Though I was in the midst of it, I could still hardly believe it. Buildings. Real. Human. Buildings. Ones that stood tall in front of me. I stared in awe at such a familiar sight. One that had turned alien from time alone.

I allowed myself a moment to soak it in. I knew, on some subconscious level, that this wasn't home. There was no ratty apartment with a stupid cat waiting on me. No Sam crashing on my couch because she stole my internet for a late night cram session before finals. And no Parole officer coming to check on me. But, it was close. After drinking in the city for a moment reflex kicked in. I looked over my hand... and paused. It was my hand. The lack of an armored gauntlet threw me before I remembered a detail from the movie. The portal changed whoever walked through it. I guess an advanced armored warrior was okay in Equestria but was a no-go here. I looked over myself quickly. I was in what was once a standard outfit for me, with a few additions. I was in a tan collared shirt, with cargo pants and black combat boots. The addition was a tan plate-carrier, with my bolt pistol hooked to my chest. From the weight on my back, I had to assume my bolter had stayed in place, and my chainsword was routed through a belt holster. I also had on a backpack, which I assume held all my toys for my various pouches. I nodded at it and ran my hand through my hair. I paused at the feeling of cold steel in my forehead. I tapped it experimentally.

Yep. That was a service stud. I had honestly forgotten about it. A small part of my cosplay turned real. Like the rest of my life. I remembered another quirk of my life and looked down. It was hard to tell through the pants and combat boot, but I could tell something I wished wasn't true was back. My left foot was gone. No fancy augmetic to strengthen it, just a prosthetic that made me look silly. I shrugged it off, turning my attention to finding Sunset. It barely took a moment to find the lone girl, crawling on all fours like an idiot. I smiled. "Sunset, in case you hadn't noticed, we're bipedal."

She paused a moment, before looking at me with a glare. "Thanks, couldn't have warned me beforehand though?"

I nodded, before offering her a hand up. "No, I wasn't completely sure where this would lead after all."

She let me hoist her up, before holding onto my arm for another moment. She released me a moment later, walking on shaky legs to appreciate our surroundings. Skyscrapers were visible in the soft light of dawn as I watched the sunrise with Sunset beside me. I put a hand on your shoulder. "This is the start of a long road young one, are you sure you can handle it?"

She flicked her shoulder, knocking my hand off. She turned and leveled an even glare at me. "I know I can, and just cause I helped you doesn't mean I trust you." She looked me up and down again, pausing at the service stud in my head. "Mostly because after getting here I now have about a million questions. All of which you could have answered before we left."

I responded while looking around the area. "Yes and no. I had an idea of what would happen if you went through the portal, but the future is an uncertain thing. Any being that claims to know for sure what will happen is either lying or trying to sell you something." I focused on the high school in front of me. "But yes, I was fairly sure this portal would lead to a land close to my actual home." I could feel another question rise as I moved my gaze to the street, and rose a finger to stall it. "But I was unsure, in the ineffable ways of time, it could have led somewhere different."

I sighed once I was content that the coast was clear. "I have seen a thousand futures. In some, all that is good in Equestria dies, and the bastion of light that rises will be extinguished like a candle in a storm, and in others, heroes rise to fight a darkness that is blacker than the void itself." I saw a bench nearby and moved to it. "I do not know what future this world holds young one, only that it follows the same theme as all others."

Sunset looked at me with her flat glare, but I could see the slight burn of wonder in her eyes. I waved toward the sun. "If you look to the sun, you see light." I then moved my hand to the shadows surrounding us. "But no matter how fast light travels, the darkness will be there first, and almost always swallow it all... eventually." I sat on the bench and leaned forward, keeping my backpack comfortably off the back. "And so I do the only thing I can. I rage." I raised a hand to the sun and clenched my fist over it. "I rage. I rage against the dying light and rise to fight all the thrice-damned daemons and witches who wish to further it. Because I have seen what happens when people fall to the dark. They begin to count everything in numbers, uncaring of the people who die to keep their meager lives going for even a second longer." I shrugged, brushing off all the thoughts I shared. "Or I did. Now I wish to have a few calm years of retirement without having to charge into battle for folk who might betray me. And you need someone who knows about this world. A perfect trade of abilities."

Sunset looked at me with a raised eyebrow. "Really, all that faux-poetic crap and you end it with a retirement talk? For a second there I thought you were some badflank warrior poet or something."

I smiled at her. "I was. If Celestia kept my old works you could probably read all sorts of short poems or songs about the great war, or the loss of family. And at one point, an excellent sonnet on a small food shack in the ruins of Hamshire."

She stared at me in confusion. "So what changed? Cause, meaning no offense, but you've taken the quiet approach to most things for our grand escape. Minus the breaking of a few random pieces of pottery. And the humming." Her voice turned to growl there, and I couldn't contain the quick flash of laughter from bubbling up my throat.

"Of course young one. I have always been a man of action. Even if I have no foes in front of me I find something to do. Being stuck in stone was perhaps the worst fate that could have ever happened to me." I moved my backpack to my lap and opened it. Indeed, Various tools and icons were scattered around my pack. I pulled out the Cog of the Omnissiah and a piece of string. Tying everything together I fashioned a crude necklace and pulled it over my head. "But we are getting distracted. We need to come up with a plan."

My blood froze as a familiar voice chimed up behind me. "Well stranger. Think I got something that might interest yah."

I rose like the lightning itself. My pistol in my hand and pointed at the voice before the noise of my rise even registered in my ears. There sat the bastard who stole me. The sick puppetmaster who took me away from my life. The merchant. I moved my finger to the trigger.

And then, a second voice stopped me. "Geez pops, you really ticked this one off, huh?"

I paused and saw a young woman behind him. She was wearing a slim cloak, which hid her identity as well as the merchant's coat. She moved her thin hand up to her chin in thought, looking me up and down. The dawn light seemed to shine of her dark skin, and I thought I saw a thin smile from the depths of her cloak. I looked at her. "Indeed he did. Stealing one from home is likely to spark one's ire."

There was a dark chuckle from the merchant, but the girl nodded. "Well, we both know your pea-shooter there won't hurt him, so go ahead and lower it. I strike much nicer deals than the old man, so at least hear me out."

I groaned but chose to abide. "You make a fair point madam." I struck my chest with a fist, giving a quick Roman salute. "Crucius Marx, at your service."

She looked me up and down again, before dropping her hand. "I'm the Trader. Goods and services exchanged for goods and services." She quirked a thumb towards the Merchant. "And unlike pops over here, I normally give folk the full story of the trade." She paused for a moment. "Unless it's for something important. Sometimes folks need a push to get the help they need." I kept my eyes on her as she made what I presumed was eye-contact. "But enough on that. Seeing what you have on you, I have an offer you might be interested in."

I looked to Sunset, who was staring at the three of us in confusion. I gestured for her to stand beside me. I expected her to hang back honestly. Most scholars do not enjoy being shoved to the front lines. To her credit, she moved up to me with only a moment's hesitation. I turned my sight back to the trader. "Well then, speak your mind Trader. I promise to at least give it thought."

She nodded. "That is all I can ask." Her cloak ruffled with movement ass she pulled out an iron lockbox and placed it on the bench between us. "In this box is all the paperwork you need to get set up. Enough money for both of you to live comfortably for six months, including buying essentials as you get set up, and a lead for a job for you." She paused, before moving again, bringing out a small tablet from underneath her cloak. After consulting it for a moment, and pointedly ignoring a glare from her 'father' she continued. "And since I know what I'm asking for, I'll throw in a sweetener. I know someone in a similar situation as you. What with the whole ripped from reality nonsense. I can get her here for six months as well. She'll be covered if you accept, so your money will last just as long."

I looked at her and sighed. "So with all these great things on the line, I assume you want something small. My first born perhaps? Or maybe my memories of home?"

Trader let out a more genuine laugh at that. moving a hand under her cloak to wipe her eyes. "No, nothing so cliche. I like to get objects with something unique. And while I could find a million toys to play with, you are in possession of something special." She pointed to my bolt-pistol. "That little terror is something that is rare even in my circles. A weapon based on an alien design. Created by all the species of Equestria in a concentrated effort for one creature." My eyes flipped between her and the pistol rapidly, and I bit back my instant refusal. She held up her hands. "I know it's sentimental for you, that's why I threw in a friend with the physical stuff. Besides, you've got one made by the same folk back home." She rubbed the back of her head like she was embarrassed. "I don't think I could get a trade off the ground if you didn't have what amounted to a second mythically rare item tucked in your metaphorical back pocket."

I looked at Sunset and raised an eyebrow. Even if we just met, one doesn't make what amounts to a business deal without consulting a partner. She looked back to me, before shaking her head back and forth. I assumed that was an 'I dunno' and was suddenly on my own. I pulled the bolt pistol out of its holster and looked at it. It didn't have all the pretty inlays and etchings of my regular bolter, but it was still special. A memento of a family long dead. But... but this was all I'd need to set-up a new life for me and a lost child. While I'm fairly sure Jack wouldn't care, the rest of my old crew would probably string me up by my toenails if I said no. I let out a low whistle. "Fine. You have a deal Trader."

She nodded as I passed the bolt-pistol to her and turned to the merchant. "Thanks for the lift pops."

He nodded and then nodded to me. I was surprised when he actually talked to me. "For what it's worth stranger, I tried to make sure you ended up in a place you'd enjoy. You aren't the only one who had their life changed from what the envisioned."

I was dumbstruck as they both walked off. And when I blinked, they were gone. There was a pause as I tried to process that before I mentally filed it into the same file as dealing with seaponies. It even has a special name. Weird mystic shit. This file is different from weird magic bullshit, as it is both strange, and doesn't touch the warp. As I said, weird. I shook it off and walked up to the box. Opening it up I found a manilla envelope. Popping it open was a large stack of bills. I nodded and placed it back in the box. There was a second envelope that was smaller, popping it open I found a glorious stack of papers. Immigration papers that claimed asylum. I smiled at my driver's license, which was happily M-class. I hadn't gotten to rip through streets faster than safety or common sense would allow in too long.

I turned to Sunset and pulled out a photo id. It stated she was sixteen, so happily I could probably begin teaching her to drive soon. Good to get her nice and independent. I looked her over while she stared at where the two strangers had disappeared to. "Well young one, it seems the wheels of fate have given us a boon." I pulled my backpack back up from it's fallen spot and looked at my Bolter. With some fine-tuning and a lot of cramming, I managed to fit the bolter into the backpack. Kinda. Well, the grip was sticking out, but that was fine. I shouldered the pack and resumed speaking. "So, I guess we should find a place to stay and I'll start my job hunt, huh?"

I heard Sunset clear her throat. "Yeah, uh. Sure, could I get an explanation on that though?"

I was about to answer when a soft thud came from behind me. I heard a soft voice from behind me speaking a phrase I felt a deep emotional bond with. "GODDAMNIT TRADER! I WAS TAKING A NAP!"

Author's Note

As far as I know Trader premiered here. https://www.fimfiction.net/story/403406/skull-the-cursebringer So give that a quick read if you're curious. It's better than my tripe.