Banished for the Better

by Thought Prism

Rating: teen
Tags: Shining Armor, Equestria Girls, Sex, Profanity, Violence, Slice of Life, Twilight Sparkle, Dazzlings, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Cutie Mark Crusaders, Other
Length: 5479

Sometimes, all a man/pony-eating monstrosity needs to turn things around is a bit of guidance from other man/pony-eating monstrosities.

Good communication between friends is important. Otherwise, accidents can happen. Such as an unlucky chimera being sent to the human world by a clueless Star Swirl, and then winding up in prison for trying to eat Sweetie Belle. Thankfully, there are plenty of folks with experience fixing this sort of thing. Unfortunately, none of those people are available, but all is not lost. Sometimes, all a man/pony-eating monstrosity needs to turn things around is a bit of guidance from other man/pony-eating monstrosities.

Written for FanOfMostEverything's Villain Exchange Program contest against my own better judgement.

Published 2018-09-17 22:20:01 UTC
Last updated 2018-09-17 22:20:01 UTC

Sweetie was convinced not to press charges.

Twilight Sparkle settled into her desk chair with a sigh, a stack of letters held in her magic. Today had been blissfully ordinary so far, without any unwelcome visitors or surprise friendship quests disrupting the well-planned proceedings of her school. It was the little events she appreciated, those minor antics her ever-amusing friends and students got up to that made each day unique. Leaning back into her seat, she began to open and sort the mail, her mind wandering as she filed away royal paperwork and pleas for sage advice to be addressed in the evening.

Her smile brightened a bit when she came upon a postcard from Star Swirl, the image depicting a bed of water lilies in front of the recognizable stilt-borne structures of Hayseed Swamp. It was still a bit surreal, being looked up to by her former idol, but friendship was a strange thing, sometimes. Flipping the card over, she began to read.

Dear Princess Twilight,

How have you fared these past few weeks? I've been doing well in my continued explorations of Equestria. With each passing day, I discover something new to pique my curiosity. Much as the land itself, the ponies have changed greatly, and I am eager to lean more.

It saddened me to hear of Rockhoof's inability to adapt until recently, and I am very glad he did not succumb to the temptation to do something drastic. Knowing the old fighter has found a place bringing joy to the young ones warms my heart. Still, the reminder of my comrade has brought to light the fact that I have not spoken to the other Pillars in quite some time. As you have likely surmised, I decided to bade visit Mage Meadowbrook and her home village first.

As I write this, I have just arrived in the hospitable portion of the swamps. The journey was more perilous than usual, as I encountered a fearsome multi-headed beast which hungered for my flesh. Let it be known that such a trip along the flaming path will be an easier undertaking for your subjects in the future, as I sent the beast through a dimensional portal. Much like the Sirens of yore, it will not be bothering anyone again. No need to thank me.

All the Best,
Star Swirl

Twilight's magic cut off abruptly, sending the card fluttering down as her face went pale. "Oh. Oh no."

Reclining on the soft grass, the warm breeze gently ruffling her curly hair, Sweetie Belle was content as could be. Nothing beat a relaxing day at the park with her two closest friends. Since she was a responsible girl, at least regarding her education at CHS, Sweetie didn't even have any homework to worry about, and she was free to enjoy the weekend. The laughter of kids at play echoed in the distance, punctuating the sound of hard wheels on concrete from close by.

Apple Bloom sat upright next to her, hands supporting her from behind as she leaned back. She turned to look down at Sweetie. "You're not gonna watch Scoots practice?"

Sweetie shrugged. "In a bit. I'm, like, super relaxed right now. It's this perfect weather. You should be enjoying it too, while it lasts."

Apple Bloom smirked. "You sure it aint a food coma? You downed that huge milkshake like you were possessed."

"You of all people should know how good the ice cream at Sugarcube Corner is," Sweetie asserted. "I couldn't stop myself."

Apple Bloom just chuckled, shaking her head.

Still, Sweetie knew she had a point. Taking a deep breath, she heaved herself upright, smoothing out her skirt as her attention refocused on her other longtime companion. Scootaloo was getting better, she had to admit. Having traded in her scooter for a skateboard, she was in the middle of working on her grinding technique in the one place it was technically allowed: the skatepark. Her board's wooden deck jumped up with a ka-flip before sliding along the metal rail for a foot or so before Scootaloo lost her balance and collapsed.

"Hey, not bad," Sweetie said. "You can actually get onto the rail now."

Scootaloo stood up, unfazed by the fall, and rolled her eyes. "Gee, thanks, Sweetie."

"You're welcome!" she replied.

"Pfft, you're lucky I like you," Scootaloo added before preparing for her next attempt.

Sweetie giggled at that, vowing to be less backhanded in her complements for the rest of the afternoon.

She let her mind wander as she continued to watch, zoning out a bit in the heat. Sweetie appreciated the break from their more adventurous activities, content to just unwind. Eventually, she found herself getting distracted again, listening to the conversations of passersby. Pretty standard stuff mostly, like gossip, current events, and idle chit-chat. However, one voice in particular caught her attention, as it was coming from behind. Apart from a bit more grass, the only thing in that direction was the Whitetail Woods, a dense nature preserve in the middle of town. The trail didn't even run through it on this side. Curiosity piqued, she focused on what they were saying.

"—don't think this is going to work, sister." It was a woman's voice. "We've changed, in case you haven't noticed."

"So what? We have experience," replied another woman with a quite distinctive deep, gravelly tone.

"It's not like we have a choice," added a third, her speech very nasally. "Besides, I'm ravenous."

"I'm just glad things didn't turn out worse," said the first.

"Me too, obviously," confirmed the second. "Now, quiet. We're getting close. That one looks nice and tender."

Sweetie didn't hear anything more for a short while after that. She was tempted to turn around and look, given how strange these people seemed to be acting, but then Sweetie remembered she was supposed to be cheering on Scootaloo and willed herself back into attentiveness. Or was about to, at least, until she heard something simply too unusual to ignore: growling.

Spinning her head, what Sweetie beheld in that instant could have jumped right out of a fever dream. It was a wideset female figure, wearing nothing but a pelt dress of the kind you'd see on cavewomen mannequins at a museum. But with three heads, each a different color, all of which had their mouths open in a vicious snarl. Oh, and also in the middle of a flying leap in Sweetie's direction, hands outstretched.

Sweetie stiffened on reflex, letting out a high pitched wail of terror just as the lunatic(s) landed on top of her. She was immediately pinned to the ground, sharp pain blooming in her neck as one of them bit down with full force. "Oh god, why!? Help me!"

Apple Bloom jolted upright, her jaw dropping as she noticed what was happening mere feet away. "Sweetie!"

The three-headed woman crouched over her like an animal, viciously shaking her central, orange head back and forth in an effort to rip a chunk of flesh out of poor Sweetie Belle's marshmallowy neck. And she might have succeeded, too, were it not for Scootaloo, who ascended the half-pipe and took rapid stock of the scene. Gasping, she charged forward like an avenging Valkyrie, skateboard held overhead. "Get away from her, you bitch!"

Wood met skull with a resounding crack, dazing Sweetie's assailant enough that she lost her jaw's grip. Now thoroughly peeved, they roared as one before whirling on Scootaloo, who could only shield herself with her arms as she too was pounced upon. Still, Scoots was going a better job of defending herself that Sweetie, who had elected to curl up into a whimpering ball and clutch at her bleeding neck the second she was freed.

Pulling out her phone, Apple Bloom rapidly dialed nine-one-one, her eyes rapidly flickering between the prone forms of her two best friends in panic. She didn't even bother waiting for the responder on the other end to finish asking what the emergency was before frantically explaining. "Skatepark! Friend! Being attacked! Maniac! Send everyone!"

In a panic of her own, Twilight half-galloped, half-teleported back to her castle, where the enchanted notebook she used to communicate with Sunset Shimmer in the human world was kept. After grabbing it from her study in a whirlwind of papers, she summoned a quill and got to writing, holding everything in front of her as she paced back and forth.

Sunset? Are you there? PLEASE respond! It's an emergency!

Her reply came blissfully soon. Its contents, however, could not be described as such.

Does this have something to do with the unhinged mutant who put Rarity's sister in the hospital after trying to eat her alive yesterday? Because if so, I'm well aware.

Twilight cringed, cursing under her breath. She'd been too late. Damn non-dragon postal service, with their non-instantaneous delivery time.

Ok, yes it does. From what I've heard, it's very likely that person is actually a chimera from the Flame Geyser Swamp. More importantly, is Sweetie alright?

She's fine. Nothing a bit of therapy and a Pinkie Pie party can't fix.

But seriously? How the hell did a Chimera of all things end up in Canterlot city?

Actually... It was Star Swirl's fault. He may have, kinda, sorta, recently banished one to your dimension.

Twilight stood in dread anticipation of what Sunset would say, her ears drooping preemptively as she stared at the pages.

Wait. Wait a minute.

You freed Star Swirl from Limbo, and have spoken with him on multiple occasions, but never once thought to tell him "oh by the way, stop throwing monsters into that other reality, since people live there"!?

I know. And I'm sorry. My bad. In hindsight, I probably should have thought to broach that subject with him earlier.

Ya think?

I'll make sure to write him back and make sure it won't happen again once we're done. Still, you and the girls beat them, right? The chimera, that is.

Actually, it was the police this time, if you can believe that. They have her locked up for assault, battery, and attempted murder.

Oh. I assume she'll be in there for a while?

Decades, probably. Why do you ask? You going to take them back to Equestria?

Maybe. Chimerae are omnivorous, and don't attack ponies often. I'm sure she was just scared and desperate. Reformation is always worth a shot in situations like that. But it would be better to try and do so on your end, Sunset, especially now that she's been both literally and figuratively defanged.

Reformation, duh. Normally, I'd be right on that, but right now I'm kind of tied up in our own case with a woman we thwarted recently named Vignette Valencia. She treats people like objects, has zero respect for the sanctity of human life, and believes it's impossible for someone to know better than she does about something. And she isn't currently in jail.

Twilight balked at this. She'd have to dig around, make sure there wasn't an equally sociopathic pony Vignette causing problems. Definitely a wrinkle to be smoothed out later. But for now, as long as Sunset was teaching Vignette, that left the chimera without guidance. Moreover, Twilight couldn't very well go over there herself, she had far too many responsibilities of her own. The same applied to Starlight.

Well, in that case, is there anyone else you can send? Fluttershy, maybe?

I would, but I'm fairly sure they don't let random high schoolers go in and talk to prisoners. If you really think it's necessary to teach the chimera to be friendly, a group does come to mind. But I can't exactly say they're 100% reformed themselves...

The Canterlot precinct police headquarters was busier than one would expect of such a typically peaceful city. Still, most of that activity was from minor issues, such as complaints about parking tickets or college parties that got too noisy for the neighbors. Today, though, Shining Armor was glad to be back manning the front desk in the evening. After that dangerous takedown he'd pulled off earlier, the chance to de-stress was welcome.

However, it seemed a return to the typical was not in his future, as a face he both recognized and slightly dreaded came through the door, the voluminous orange curls that framed it unmistakable. This time, she was trailed by two other women he didn't recognize as she led them directly up to him. Only Adagio looked like she actually wanted to be here, her companions wearing expressions of annoyance.

"Ah, Officer Armor. Now nice to see you again," she said, one hand resting on her hip, which was framed by a pair of skinny jeans.

"Miss Dazzle," he replied, curtly. "What brings you here? Going to try and prod me for leads again?"

Adagio shook her head. "Not this time. My sisters and I are here to see someone. Namely, the woman with three heads."

"You're well informed as usual, I see," Shining noted. He steepled his hands, elbows resting on the counter. "But this relationship doesn't go two ways. Private eyes can't just waltz in and speak to detainees."

Raising her chin, Adagio smirked. "That would be true, but we're actually familiar with the individual in question. And I'm assuming you aren't. Wouldn't someone higher up like to know the details?"

She'd hit the nail on the head. Shining knew the conjoined triplets had carried zero form of identification on their person. Plus, if Adagio did know her, she had rights. He sighed. "Ok, let me grab the proper forms for you."

"Thank you," she said, beaming.

As they filled out the documents, Shining gave Adagio's siblings a once-over. The purple woman, apparently named Aria Blaze, was dressed professionally in a blouse and slacks. Sonata Dusk, meanwhile, was very out of place in a low-cut, sparkling red dress and matching heels. Once properly on file, Shining begun escorting the three of them back through the unadorned halls towards the holding cells.

"So, how exactly do you know these women, Adagio?" he asked. "And why come visit?"

"Let's just say we grew up in the same place," she replied.

Sonata rolled her eyes. “There’s no point in being secretive anymore, Dagi. He’s gonna find out soon enough anyway.” Then, she increased her pace for a second to catch up to Shining. "She's a monster from another world, if you can believe that! So are we, actually."

"From another world," Adagio clarified, "not monsters."

Sonata chuckled at that. "I mean, some people would say we were too."

Shining Armor didn't quite know how to process this. For now, though, it was as good an explanation as any. Ever since Spike started talking, weird had been the new normal. "Okay? I best be on higher guard than usual, then." He paused, allowing them to continue.

"Either way, we're here because we owed someone a favor," explained Adagio.

"Yeah. Otherwise, I'd be at home right now," Aria added. "Apparently we're the most qualified individuals to help this chimera become a good person. Or fit into society, at least. I'm not a miracle worker."

Shining's brow rose. "She's still under arrest, though."

"Not our problem," said Aria with a shrug. "I'm sure one of our 'acquaintances' is already working on that."

"Exactly," said Adagio. "It wouldn't make sense to imprison a lion for trying to eat someone; it's in their nature. But this beast can be tamed, and that's what little miss obnoxious-glare-in-my-eyes wants us to do."

Shining supposed that logic checked out. "If you say so."

It was then that they passed the last security station and entered the small cell block. Shining pulled out his keys and unlocked the gate, allowing Adagio and the others to enter. The whole area was painted a stark white, including the bars, and only one of the cells was occupied with inmates, their bickering grating. Shining was used to it, but Aria groaned in annoyance. As the four of them approached, forming a semicircle outside the bars, the chimera didn't even notice. Their appearance really was baffling enough to be otherworldly.

The head in the middle was the same color orange as their fresh jumpsuit and most of their skin, and had messy, black and orange locks. "How is this my fault?" she growled.

"Well, you're the one who insists on being in charge!" retorted the one to her left, who, along with their shared left leg, was charcoal grey. Her yellow eyes glared angrily.

"I'm stuck here too, thanks to you, and I never get a say," complained the last, green woman as she slammed her matching right fist against the bed upon which they sat. She was completely bald.

Adagio coughed loudly to get their attention. Three faces stopped and whirled in her direction. "So sorry to interrupt your sibling bonding," Adagio began, "but we have a lot of ground to cover."

"Do you have names?" Sonata asked. "Just calling you 'Chimera' would get confusing fast."

"Oh, this one recognizes us," noted the green head.

"They're with the hunter!" exclaimed the orange head, pointing at Shining.

"No we aren't," said Adagio. "Trust me. Please just answer the question. We're here to help you and we don't have all night."

They were noticeably skeptical, but the grey head nevertheless replied, eventually. "No. Never needed names when we basically only talk to eachother."

"Or our food," added orange head with a grin.

Shining winced, debating internally whether or not to brandish his nightstick. Adagio, Aria, and Sonata had their work cut out for them. For now, though, he would fade into the background and watch carefully.

"Fine. Can we just call you Tiger, Snake, and Goat, then?" Adagio asked.

This proposition was met with three nods. "Whatever," said Tiger, sulking.

"Ok, great," said Adagio, resting her hands in the pockets of her sweatshirt. "First things first, I assume you realize that you aren't in Equestria anymore, yes?"

"Obviously!" bleated Goat. "That old bastard flung us through a hole in the sky!"

"And even then, suddenly having digits was a dead giveaway." Snake wiggled her fingers for emphasis.

"Does that fact have something to do with why we're locked up in this cage?" Tiger asked.

"Yes, it very much does," confirmed Aria. Then, she sighed, adopting the patient tone of a practiced lecturer. "You see, this world has rules that humans, which is what you now appear to be, must follow or be punished. Can you guess which one it is that you broke?"

Tiger's brow creased in confusion. "The only rule I'm aware of is Survival of the Fittest. In this body, we're less fit than before, and our quarry was rescued. But that has nothing to do with cages."

"Yeah, all we did was try and grab lunch. Twice," said Goat.

Aria crossed her arms. "And therein lies the problem."

"See, here's the thing," began Adagio, "you're not supposed to kill people at all, let alone eat them afterwards."

"Same thing back home with ponies," added Sonata. "Not even dragons can get away with it anymore. It's just common sense."

Tiger, Snake, and Goat all balked at that. "Wait, you're serious?" asked the latter, incredulous.

"But ponies are delicious, one of the few foods we can all agree on!" exclaimed Tiger. "Humans too!"

Keeping her face neutral, Sonata met her eyes. "I agree. But you'll have to settle for just licking like the rest of us."

Shining Armor sputtered. "And only consenting adults!" he added.

As one, the chimera sisters' faces each fell in disappointment. In that moment, they truly resembled ordinary luckless convicts.

"I know, it's unfortunate," said Adagio, sympathetic. "We had to learn the hard way ourselves. However, being sirens, we got let off easy since we were only preying on people emotionally, not physically. But look at us now." She gestured to herself, Aria, and Sonata. "The three of us got normal jobs. Begrudgingly, but still."

"That's now humans get food and shelter, by the way," Sonata elaborated. "You work to earn money, and then you can use that money to buy almost anything, including munchies!"

Aria allowed herself a rare smile. "It's less fun than the alternative, but more rewarding."

Once this information sank in, Snake began stroking her chin in thought. "I've never heard about these 'jobs' before."

"They sound weird," muttered Tiger as she pulled herself upright. "Seems... indirect, compared to just hunting and raiding."

"Oh, they are, Tiger. But it's less dangerous, and failing a day's efforts won't lead to you being thrown in here again," said Adagio, pointing at the floor.

Goat bobbed her head. "Sounds good to me."

"I don't know. Can we actually do one? Give us examples," Tiger commanded, looking to each of the sirens in turn.

Aria turned away. "Well, we used to be... vocalists, of a sort, before we lost our singing voices."

"So, we had to start relying on our other talents," finished Adagio. "That's usually the place to start: finding something you're good at that the average joe isn't." Here, she smiled, placing a hand on her chest. "I happen to be a very successful private investigator. People pay me to snoop around and ruin someone else's life for them using what I information can find. They suffer, I prosper, my clients adore me. It's pretty great."

"That's... not how I would describe detective work, Adagio," Shining said with a frown.

She snorted at him. "Stay out of this, soldier boy. You wouldn't want to confuse these poor girls, now, would you?" Adagio posed, coyly.

Shining sighed, pursing his lips shut. It wasn't like Tiger, Goat, and Snake could make it in a field that required being discreet anyway.

Aria cleared her throat, facing the cellmates. "Anyway, I just got back from my gig as a marriage councilor. I help people in relationships get along better. Given my extensive track record of doing the opposite, all I had to do was reverse my thinking."

"Maybe we could do the same for siblings?" quipped Goat.

"Ha ha. Very funny," Snake deadpanned.

"I don't think that would work, exactly," said Adagio, who at least had the courtesy to look apologetic. "You're on the right track, though, Goat."

"Hmm. What do you do, siren?" Tiger asked, staring at Sonata.

At this, she struck a sultry pose, flipping her ponytail. "I happen to be a hostess."

Shining blinked. To him, this was even more unexpected than what Aria did. "Really? What restaurant?"

A few seconds passed before Sonata started giggling. She beamed devilishly. "No."

"No? What do mean n— ohh." Realizing what she was implying, the outfit now making sense, Shining crossed his arms and glared. "Yeah, I think that's enough from you on the subject."

Sonata kept giggling. Eventually, her fit of amusement ended, and she apologized to Tiger. "Sorry. Goodie-two-shoes over here won't let me explain."

Tiger tilted her head in confusion, nearly hitting Goat's ear in the process. "O-kay?"

"So," began Snake, "let me know if I have this right. We can do basically anything to get food here except the easy way?"

Aria nodded once. "That's about the jist of it, yes. And make sure to always remember: don't fucking attack people for their flesh."

Tiger snorted, crossing her leg over Goat's. "Yep. Weird."

Adagio shrugged. "We're just telling it like it is. It's not our place to judge. But while you're in here, take some time to mull over what it is you might want to do," she suggested. "Actually, Mr. Armor?"

Surprised, he met her eyes. "Yes?"

"Would they be allowed a book during their stay here? One detailing career paths?" she asked.

Before he could reply, Goat cut him off, stating plainly "We can't read."

Adagio facepalmed. "Never mind."

"No, that's still a good idea," said Aria. "We'll just have to come back later and read it to them."

Sonata groaned. "Ugh, do we have to? I'm already bored enough as it is."

Adagio shared her disdain, tapping her foot. "It's either we follow through with this or risk incurring the wrath of Sunset Shimmer. And I'm sure you remember the last time that happened."

A shudder ran through Sonata's body. "Point taken. I'd rather square off against Star Swirl and his merry band again."

"The astronomer?" asked Shining Armor, more that a little confused. "And how exactly do you know my sister's friend Sunset?"

Grimacing, Adagio failed to meet his gaze. "It's a long and painful story." Rather than elaborating further, and potentially ruining her working relationship with Shining in the process, she immediately turned to leave. "Come on, girls."

Aria blinked. "Well. I guess we're done for the day." After a polite wave goodbye, she followed.

Letting out a huge sigh, Sonata picked up the rear. "Later."

Ignoring the trio's rudely abrupt departure, Shining doublechecked that Tiger and company were secure before marching ahead to shepherd the visitors back out. He was a bit peeved at Adagio for dodging his question at the end there, but supposed he could just ask Twilight about it. More importantly, Shining couldn't deny that she, Aria, and Sonata had been... reasonably effective at reshaping his perspective regarding his latest arrests and preparing them for their eventual release. The fewer repeat offenders, the better.

Sure, Tiger, Snake, and Goat had resumed audibly arguing almost instantly once out of sight, but at least it was about their job goals. Now, it would be up to them to integrate. Hopefully they'd find a better reason to do so besides 'avoiding prison' at some point, Shining thought, shaking his head.

~ 5 Years Later ~

All around the huge kitchen, not a single soul was idle. Grills sizzled, pans simmered, and ovens hummed as cooks zipped this way and that, their shoes clacking on the tile floor. Some plated dishes, while others gathered ingredients, chopped, or blended. Bus boys and waiters dashed in and out, taking the food to and from their recipeients. And in the center of it all stood the maestros behind the organized chaos.

"Ladle, make sure you doublecheck the fish!" Goat exclaimed. "A single bone could spell disaster!"

"Aye!" he replied, his sous chef's hat making him easy to identify.

Goat's continued examination of the room was interrupted when Tiger tapped the edge of her spoon against the pot she had been tending. Once she had Goat's attention, Tiger pressed the spoon up to her mouth. Goat took a small lick, her brow creasing in concentration. "The sauce could use a touch of nutmeg."

Nodding, Tiger then reached across her body to Snake, who was in the middle of kneading a ball of dough with practiced finesse. Snake didn't miss a beat, taking her own taste without pausing in her work. "And a pinch of salt. Then it'll be perfect."

"Got it. Tomorrow's special will be a hit," Tiger declared, dropping the spoon into a nearby sink before grabbing a fresh one and reaching for the spice rack.

The three were only able to resume tackling their respective tasks for a few moments before something else came up. One of the waitresses walked up next to them. "Ms. Chi, the order for table ten is ready."

"Ah, excellent!" Goat exclaimed. She turned to her sisters. "Let's go, ladies."

Nodding, Snake and Tiger each got their work to an appropriate stopping point before they stepped to the side and rapidly, vigorously washed their hands. After drying them off on their custom made white jacket, Tiger deftly lifted the large tray at the end of the counter before pushing through the door into the restaurant proper.

The space was packed with well-dressed diners, their chatter filling the space with sound. Tables of dark wood were lit softly by large, brass candelabras and sunlight filtered through wispy orange curtains. Eyes turned their was as the three made their way over to the best booth in the house, one occupied by familiar faces.

"Oh, hey!" exclaimed Sonata. "You came to serve us personally!" Aria and Adagio sat across from her, both equally pleasantly surprised.

"Of course we did," said Tiger. "You think we wouldn't make time to say hello to our oldest friends when they stop in?"

Adagio grinned. "Well, you are pretty busy, from what I hear. What being the owner and head chef of a restaurant famous nationwide. The Trifecta, best eatery in Canterlot since Gustav's. I'm almost jealous."

Goat barked out a laugh. "If you knew exactly how busy we were, you wouldn't be."

"Oh, I'm sure," said Adagio.

Aria, meanwhile, while trying to be polite and maintain eye contact, kept glancing at the gently steaming food being held aloft. "That smells delicious."

"Just wait until you have a taste, then," replied Tiger mischievously.

The Dazzlings sat in anticipation as Snake set a huge slice of pie in front of each of them, golden, buttery crust encasing a hearty filling. "Three servings of our signature steak pie," said Snake, with more than a hint of pride. "Dig in! And make you to tell us exactly how much you love it," she added with a wink.

Snake and her sisters watched as Sonata, Adagio, and Aria picked up their silverware and cut off bites one after the other. Popping it into her mouth, Sonata had barely gotten in a single chew before her eyes rolled back into her head. "Ith tho guud!"

Aria had a similar reaction, but had the courtesy not to talk with her mouth full, swallowing her bite with a contented sigh. "Yeah, this is some damn good pie."

Sonata giggled, unable to help herself. "Oh Aria, I didn't know you swung that way!"

Aria and Adagio ignored her, used to such innuendo. Instead, Adagio ponderously consumed her food with her brows raised. She turned to face the chefs. "Honestly? I've never been one for solid food, but this might actually be better than hatred."

Tiger, Goat, and Snake beamed in unison. "I knew you girls would like it," Tiger said.

"Such high praise," added Goat. "Don't rush through your meal; we'll have plenty of time to catch up in a few hours."

"I don't know if I'll be able to pace myself, though," said Sonata, popping another piece of pie into her mouth, one twice as big as the last.

Snake let out a single snort of laughter before facing Tiger. "I've said it before and I'll say it again. Going to culinary school? Best decision we ever made."

"Definitely," Tiger confirmed. Then, to their guests: "And we owe it all to you. Well, most of it."

Aria waved her off. "All we did was point you in a less brutish direction. The rest was all effort on your parts."

"You didn't have to keep in touch, though. But you did anyway, and that really helped us stay on track," said Snake. "And gave us an idea of what we'd been missing."

Adagio smiled. "Honestly, talking with you was refreshing. I wasn't really able to connect with other people before, either. The life of a predator leads to one building a unique perspective on life that never quite goes away."

"Heh, no kidding," said Tiger. "Adapting this much was a tough process, but worth it. Our old lives are nothing but memories now."

"The takeaways we kept surely helped us find the best butchers, though," added Goat.

Aria pointed to her plate, smirking. "We'd already figured out that much. Right, Sonata?"

Sonata frowned at her. "Jutht lemme eat!" she said around her food.

Snake let out an amused hiss. "You heard her! Best let them partake. We should really be getting back to work, too."

Letting out twin hums of agreement, Goat and Tiger stepped back, the latter waving goodbye. As they retreated toward the kitchen again, satisfied in a way a mere meal could not accomplish, all three surveyed their domain. Everyone dining at the Trifecta, not just the sirens, was clearly elated by the fare served.

Tiger wore a thoughtful expression. "Boy, to think, our first instinct was to try and eat the humans, and now we're feeding them. What a world."

"You said it," Goat confirmed.

The End

Author's Note

Honestly, this isn't my best work, but with so few people seemingly interested in entering this time around, I might win cash by default! :trollestia:

For real, though, I hadn't gotten the chance to write the Dazzlings until now, and I've been meaning to showcase my own take on the sirens, brief though it is. The image of Aria as a marriage councilor amuses me.