Whodunnit?????

by Rainbowfan45

Rating: everyone
Tags: Random, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Mystery
Length: 1143

Pinkie must solve a heinous crime!

Somepony has commited a hideous crime, and its up to the avenging Detective Pinkie Pie to discover who!

Who is the corrupted pony who executed such a dastardly thing? And what will happen when they are discovered?

Published 2018-09-03 20:10:01 UTC
Last updated 2018-09-03 20:10:01 UTC

In which Pinkie solves a crime!

Author's Note

This was just a hilarious scenario I thought of. Inspired by my love of both mysteries and comedies. :twilightsmile:

In which Pinkie solves a crime!

"I WILL discover the culprit. And when I do, there WILL be severe punishment!" Pinkie Pie poked her snout up against Rainbow Dash's. "Was it YOU????"

"What?? Me??? No!" Dash sputtered, rather unconvincingly.

Pinkie turned on Rarity. "Was it you??!" She demanded.

"Gracious, no, Darling!" Rarity said smoothly. "I know better than to violate the sacred sanctuary of the kitchen without your express permission, especially to do something as terrible as this. Why, that would be rude and unladylike and very, very abominable!" She tossed her mane and stomped a hoof for emphasis.

"An' Ah didn't do it, either, sugarcube." Applejack spoke up firmly, with a nod that nearly sent her hat flying.

Pinkie frowned. Rarity, she knew, would not ever want to be caught dead doing something rude........her two or three very past acts of rudeness not withstanding. So maybe she was being honest. And Applejack was absolutely not a liar, so she was ruled out. Dash had denied it, but then again........Pinkie threw the cyan mare a warning look. She then turned to the remaining two suspects, one eyebrow arching in stern suspicion.

"I didn't do it, Pinkie." Twilight said firmly, meeting her eyes.

Pinkie stared hard at her, said stare nearly matching Fluttershy's infamous one in its intensity. Twilight did not move, blink, or look away. Finally, Pinkie turned her attention to the last suspect.

"Fluttershy!!!!!"

The yellow pegasus eeped loudly and cowered back at the sudden sharp sound of her name.

"I.....i.....it w....was....wasn't m....m...me....." she faltered out, as Pinkie loomed over her.

"Then why are you so afraid, hmmm??" demanded her interrogator.

"Maybe because you shouted at her." Twilight deadpanned.

"Oh." said Pinkie. "Sorry, Fluttershy." She softened her voice. "Did you do it?"

"No." Fluttershy replied, with more confidence this time.

Pinkie frowned. "Well, somepony around here is guilty." She said. "And I'm going to find out who!!! Nopony does something this horrible and gets away with it!!!!" She stamped a hoof.

The others exchanged looks, the same thought running through all thier heads: whoever had committed this atrocious act was doomed to face the avenging wrath of one Pinkamena Diane Pie. They shuddered at the thought of it. Pinkie was pacing and thinking. Suddenly, she whirled about.

"I know how to figure it out!" She yelled, and bounced out the door in a flash.

"Uh......what just happened?" Dash asked, confused.

"Ah think Pinkie just set out to get herself a culprit." was Applejack's observation.

"Let's just hope to Celestia she doesn't scare ponies with her unusual interrogation techniques." Twilight said, shaking her head.

"Pinkie Pie? Loose in town with somepony who committed such a heinous act? With an unlimited supply of determination to avenge it? And a limitless supply of interrogation tools?" Rarity spoke up.

They all exchanged looks and groaned collectively.

"Ah don't see this endin' well for nopony." Applejack stated.

And nopony disagreed.

***************************************************

A very tired and forlorn Pinkie Pie ambled into Sugarcube Corner late that afternoon, much to the relief of her friends.

"Any luck, Pinkie?" Twilight asked.

"No." Pinkie sighed. "I asked nicely, I gave a sad face, I tried jokes, I tried floating ponies up high with balloons. And I even unleashed the worst interrogation tactic ever."

"Uh, what, exactly, was that?" asked Dash, not sure she even wanted to know.

"I tickled them!" Pinkie said, grinning. "But no luck. And I called in the big guns, too."

"You made them Pinkie Promise they didn't do it?" Rarity asked. The others smirked. That'd be big, alright!

"No, I literally brought out the big guns!" Pinkie said. "I stood them up and aimed my biggest party cannon at them and promised to shoot if they didn't confess."

"How did that go?" Twilight was afraid to ask. Pinkie sighed.

"I'm afraid many a fine pony succumbed to confetti." She said. "They faced their colorful demise with honor and courage, though."

Not one of her friends dared laugh, so they all just observed a moment of tickled silence for the fallen citizens who had been unable to confess to the crime and perished.

Suddenly Pinkie looked up. "Great idea, Rarity!" She cried out, excitedly.

"Huh?!" Dash said, bewildered.

"What was, Darling?" Rarity asked, equally confused.

"The only ones I didn't fully interrogate are you guys!" Pinkie Said. "And I can make you Pinkie Promise it wasn't you! Well, except Applejack, cause she already said she didn't do it, and she's the element of Honesty so she can't lie, but the rest of you could!" She trotted up to Twilight. "Well????"

Twilight gulped. She met the party pony's gaze.

"Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye!" She said, going through the motions. "It wasn't me!"

Pinkie smiled broadly. One down, three to go! She turned. Fluttershy and Rarity followed Twilight's lead, Pinkie Promising they hadn't done the dastardly deed. But when Pinkie turned to Dash, the normally fearless cyan pegasus was sweating furiously.

"Uh, cross my.....uh.....hope....I...." she stammered nervously.

One thing was law: one did not, absolutely did NOT, Pinkie Promise on a lie. And Dash knew it. Pinkie instantly caught on.

"Rainbow Dash.....?" She said, narrowing her eyes.

Dash looked desperately for an escape, and saw no way out. She gulped and rubbed a hoof on her neck.

"I....uh.....I....that is......" she sputtered.

Pinkie knew immediately. "You!!!" She exclaimed. "You did it!!! How could you do something so rotten, Rainbow Dash?! How?!"

"Well, I.....I don't know! I just did! I'm sorry!" Dash exclaimed.

"Not good enough!" Pinkie said. "Rainbow Dash! Prepare to suffer grave punishment for your diabolical crime!"

Dash found herself staring down the barrel of Pinkie's biggest cannon.

"No! No, Pinkie, wait! I'm sorry!" She cried. "I'm sorry I dumped salt in the cupcake batter!!! It was only a prank!!"

"Tell it to the cupcakes, sister!!!" Pinkie yelled, grabbing for the rope on her cannon.

Before Dash could beg further, there was a major explosion and she was flung back onto the floor by a massive ball of confetti and streamers. "GAH!!!"

Pinkie Pie dusted her hooves and came to stand over her fallen, and colorfully buried, friend.

"Consider the cupcakes avenged." She said triumphantly. She saluted smartly, turned, and bounced off to the kitchen, singing.

"Rainbow Dash? You still alive?" Applejack asked, while the others looked on anxiously.

From underneath the colorful pile came a long, low groan. "Owwwwww......" Dash slowly sat up, looking slightly dazed. Shaking her head to clear it, she met the gazes of her snickering friends and grimaced.

"I am never pranking her cupcakes again."

She crossed her legs and scowled at the others as they fell to the floor in explosive laughter.