Emergency alert system in equestria
*Sending EOM tones*
“We interrupt our programming; this is a national emergency, important instructions will follow.”*BRRRRRT* *BRRRRRT* *BRRRRRT* *BUUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ* The following message is transmitted at the request of the United States government and the authority of the royal sisters. All brodcast and cable systems shall transmit this emergency message. This is CMC58 and we will continue to serve the manehatan area, if you are not in this local area you should tune to stations serving your local area for updates. Do not use the telephone, telephone lines should be kept open in case of emergency. The emergency alert system has been activated at the request of the White House and canterlot castle to participate in this emergency. This is CMC58 and we will continue to serve the manehaten area. This message will repeat in 10 seconds.”
Twilight didn’t know what she just heard or what’s happening but before she could say anything, her housemate, anon immediately slammed on the gas and accelerated the Ford F-350 superduty truck they were in up to speeds of 182.6 MPH.
“Anon what are you doing!?” She half asked half demanded.
“getting us the fuck out of here, did you not just here the radio!?”
He replied. He pulled into the emergency lane to get around rush hour traffic because he knew the only reason FEMA would say this is a national emergency was in the event of either or a double pronged invasion of both the eas and west coast or a nuclear attack. He decided on the latter.
“ Thats not a reason to start driving like a maniac!” She shouted
“there’s only 2 reasons that a national emergency would be declared over the radio like that! 1 being an invasion of the east and west coast at the same time or 2, a nuclear attack; and im betting on the second one.”
He said, not thinking this was how his day was gonna go. All he wanted to do was go to a racing event with the project truck they were now using to “flee” for their life’s and and not even noticing the fact that there was a significant amount of cops chasing them until they put enough distance between them and the fact the truck was a diesel and anon made the rolling coal modification to it and blinded them.
“Well what makes you say that?” Twilight asked.
”BZZZZZT, BZZZZZT,BZZZZZT, BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ” “The following message is transmitted at the request of the North American aero space defense and the equestrian ministry of defense. At 1:25 PM pacific time, NORAD detected the launch of 20 nuclear missiles from unknown locations in North Korea. it is believed that these missiles will impact targets in the United States in one and one half to two hours. while there are no missiles heading to equestria, an invasion force of 300,000 North Korean soldiers was detected heading towards the rift between equis and earth. In response to this, US president Dakota Rodriguez has authorized a full scale counter attack against North Korea and has launched 40 MIRV capable trident 2 missiles that are carrying nuclear nuclear payloads towards targets in North Korea and has deployed a force of 100,000 troops to protect the rift. All residents within a 5 mile radius of the rift location in equestria are urged to evacuate immediately if attempts to hold back the Koreans fail and the koreans cross the rift. The president is being taken across the rift to an undisclosed safe location along with the royal sisters. More updates will be released as they become available. This is CMC58 and we will continue to serve the manehatten area.”
“Well there’s your answer twilight” anon said.
20 minutes earlier
Canterlot castle
“and your sure the signal will only carry as far as canterlot’s noble district and not hit any repeaters sister?” Celestia asked Luna as she was getting ready to pull the biggest prank of all time.
“we are 100 percent sure sister. I personally had a group of ponies reduce the transmitters power greatly to avoid a real mass panic.” Luna replied.
“If you say so lulu” celestia said “it’s all ready tia, would thou like to do the honors?” Luna asked “gladly” celestia answered as she walked over to the computer to send out the activation tones. “Click” BZZZZZT BZZZZZT BZZZZZT BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
“Sister get over here your not gonna want to mis this!” Luna shouted from a nearby window. Down below she could see the nobles of canterlot running around like crazy as the message went out.
“Ok I expected them to freak out but not like this, this is perfect!” Celestia said as both sisters burst out laughing uncontrollably for around 3 minutes straight until they heard something in the distance which made them stop almost immediately.
“whhhhooooooooo, whhhhooooooooo”
The sound of a soundmaster 115 outdoor warning siren rang in their ears.
“Ummm Luna are you sure you reduced the transmitters power?” Celestia said quite nervously
Luna glanced over at the control terminal connecting the computer to the transmitter tower.
“Ummmm thou may have accidentally doubled the power and allowed it to interact with the repeaters” Luna answered equally nervous.
“Well I guess we’ve got some explaining to do then.” Celestia said. Before she could say anything else a scroll appeared before her from her personal student.
“Princess celestia
Anon and I just heard the alert about and he’s driving like a maniac to get us back to ponyville. I’m very worried about if the response force is unable to protect us and we are invaded. I hope you can do something to keep equestria safe.
Yours
Twilight sparkle.”
“Oh buck me”
20 minutes later
“BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZ” “ the following message is transmitted at the request of the royal sisters. Please stand by for a message from princess celestia. “Boop” “fillies and gentcolts, ladies and gentlemen, the princess of the sun.”
“Good afternoon everyone I’m here to inform you that the recent messages you heard were not real and they were in fact fake as me and my sister were trying to prank the canterlot nobility but forgot to take take the appropriate precautions and we are both sorry for our actions”
“boop”
“ that was a message from princess celestia, we will now resume normal programming.” BZZZZZT BZZZZZT BZZZZZT.
“I hope twilight is alright” Celestia said. Just then Celestias cellphone started ringing.
“Beep” “hello” Celestia said as she picked up and answered her iPhone.
“What the in the hell were you thinking!? Are you nuts!?”
A clearly very pissed off anon answered from the other side.
“Anon calm down it was only meant as a prank”.
“Nopony else thought it was”
“look I’m sorry alright, I’ll make it up to when you get back to the castle alright?”
“Fine. I’ll see you in a few hours.” “Well I’ll be busy tonight sister” Celestia said.
“It sounded so” Luna replied.
Meanwhile close by in a disguise.
“Oh this is perfect” said none other than the 46th us president himself dakota rodriguez. He was 5 foot 11 and 3 quarter inches tall, was wearing a black suit with a white dress shirt and a red tie that looked like the outfit of agent 47 from the hit man games, he had unkempt black hair, brown eyes, and would always openly Carry around a gun. He was secretly filming the whole thing from nearby and had plans to upload this video to YouTube after he got out until “creak”
“oh shit”.
“Huh?” Celestia said as she walked over to the closet he was hiding in. Immediately he threw open the door once Celestia was close enough and knocked her over and shouted
“I’m out of here, I got every last bit on camera”. He made a beeline towards the castle entrance where the presidential limo just arrived in time to be spared the tickling wrath of the 2 sisters to get him to delete the video considering they were all very close friends.
1 day later
“And I’m sorry for my actions”
“Oh he is so lucky he escaped when he did.”
Celestia said
“Indeed
Luna replied
“Well you two should have both seen this coming since yesterday”
An amused looking anon said while he was finishing breakfast.
“I guess so”
Celestia replied
“Next time you should make 100 percent sure that you did everything right before doing something like that again”
Anon replied.
Author's Note
I saw the eas sceneario “EF6” on YouTube and was compelled to write this price of shit of a first story. PS anons Ford is from 2010 if anyone is wondering and it’s a crew cab dually with a gas turbine engine in the bed for more power and a 12 cylinder Cummins up front in the actual engine bay. This was only made because there are no other stories on this site that even remotely mention the eas
