The Biggest Bottom

When it came to Equestria’s geography, it was doubtful that any pony or creature could deny how varied and unique the nation really was. From the frozen tundras surrounding the Crystal Empire, to the boggy swamp-like terrain nearby the Smoky Mountains, and to the near-uninhabitable deserts that littered the southern landscapes near its borders; it seemed that Equestria had a region suited for every type of pony and their lifestyle. Whether it was for comfort, or to challenge their fortitude, it was hard to find any spot in Equestria where there wasn’t some township.

One of those towns was Apploosa, a somehow thriving community that managed to build a successful apple orchard and cider brewery in the middle of the desert. Despite some earlier scuffles with the pre-existing Buffalo Tribe, the town was now a booming spot for high-paying jobs and more “off the grid” living. And due to its peace treaties with the buffalo, most of the ponies in town didn’t bat an eye whenever different species came around town.

Of course, there were still a few curious glances towards a particular dragon thatcame to Apploosa with his Element friends.

For some reason, Twilight and the other five Elements were summoned by the Friendship Map to the desert community to help solve a friendship problem. Even though Spike wasn’t summoned himself, he was brought along just in case the others got into any danger. The ex-drake didn’t want to think he was needed, but being reminded of the Elements’ first interaction with Starlight Glimmer kept him from speaking up on the matter. So instead of arguing, the newly winged assistant just let the girls be while he explored the quaint township by himself.

Fortunately, the dragon wasn’t completely alone as he walked down the main street with a confident smile. Despite wanting to use his recently molted wings as often as possible to build up their strength, he was fine with walking to be more even with the Earth pony beside him. A familiar Apploosan stallion with a golden coat and blonde mane trotted next to him, and was more than eager to try and swap tales with Spike. The dragon remembered that the last time he and the others visited Apploosa, he didn’t think too much about Applejack’s cousin Braeburn; although, an accidental kidnapping and a massive pie fight would probably keep a lot of guys from doing much social interaction. But this time, Spike felt much more comfortable with the pony after learning how much the two had in common.

Most notably, their very similar mindsets which were causing so many ponies to sneak glances over at them while they walked together.

“So,” chirped Braeburn as he smiled giddily down at the dragon, “do you usually come with AJ and the others when it comes to those ‘Friendship Missions’?”

“Honestly, no,” replied Spike with a meager shrug, “Buuuuuuuuttttt… the last time all six of them were summoned somewhere for a serious mission, they almost lost their cutie marks forever because of some cult. They kinda figured having me within easy contact might be a good precaution this time.”

Even though he could understand Spike’s point, Braeburn couldn’t help scoffing a little with his muzzle pointed elsewhere. “Heh~ Well, hopefully all you’ll have to do is enjoy the sights of Apploosa while you’re here.”

“Are you sure about that?” asked the former drake as he perked his brows and looked up towards him with a cheeky-looking grin. “Because judging by how happy you look, I have a feeling you’d like to do a little more than just give me a tour~”

Braeburn’s cheeks began to blush a little, and he giggled nervously while trying to avoid Spike’s sultry gaze. “W-Well, ummm… C-Can you really blame me? I mean… You know…”

After a quick sigh, Spike rolled his eyes and replied happily, “Yeah, I know exactly what you mean. Applejack already told me about your rep around here, and I’m willing to bet that Big Mac gave you some juicy stories about me~”

That made Braeburn giggle even more, and the turn of his head away from Spike made him realize just how many guys at the nearby saloon were eyeing them from the window. He didn’t want to veer off his chat with Spike when they were still getting acquainted, but he still gave a cheeky wave of his hoof towards them as they walked past the building. After a quick exhale, Braeburn replied with a more sheepish-sounding, “Well, I… I ain’t gonna lie, I definitely heard a lot about your, errr… exploits~”

Spike chuckled with a devilish grin while shrugging in acceptance to that wording. Ever since that fateful trip to the Dragon Lands during migration season years ago, the little drake was able to make a name for himself as a rather… unconventional assistant around Equestria. Much like Apploosa itself, Spike was able to overcome the odds when it came to being successful at his controversial craft. Despite how young he may have looked physically, his confidence (as well as his legal and mental maturity) helped turn the tides in his favor when it came to being recognized and respected in the same profession Braeburn was known for.

Of course, Spike proved to be a bit more blunt about his lifestyle than the Apploosan as he replied, “Well, I certainly hope so~ Given how many cocks I’ve serviced over the years, I was hoping you’d hear a story or two to get inspired~”

Braeburn had to cover his mouth and muffle his reaction while his face grew a beet-red. Fortunately, a quick look around showed that no ponies were nearby them to overhear Spike’s statement. Nevertheless, the stallion still looked back at his open-minded friend and whispered, “S-Spike! We’re in public, remember?!”

“Right, I’m sorry…” Spike lifted his claw and gave an apologetic wave towards Braeburn, and looked around as well to confirm no ponies overheard him. “Heh~ Yeah, sometimes I forget that not all towns are as used to someone like me as Ponyville.”

“Well, at least you’re not the only one like that here,” noted Braeburn with an understanding nod of his head. As his blush began to decrease, the stallion added with his shoulders shrugged, “I mean, when it came to me being an Escort, it was mostly because everything lined up in my favor. It was scary enough just coming out as gay at first, since I didn’t wanna end up homeless or a statistic or whatever. But to my surprise, being in a town with such a low number of mares made most of the stallions miiiiighty open to a guy like me walkin’ around. Instead of gettin’ picked on or harassed, I was being offered good amounts of cash to get some first-hoof experience from guys who needed some... company. And since bills had to be paid, I figured, ‘Why the heck not?’ And before ya know it, here we are~”

Spike nodded with a respectful smile up at Braeburn, clearly understanding the means a fellow “Escort” would get themselves into such a taboo trade. Of course, the stallion was quick to huff and scratch the back of his his head the instant he finished talking. “Oh, shoot! Here I go again talkin’ my muzzle off. I’m sorry if I’m sayin’ too much.”

“Hey, it’s perfectly fine,” stated the dragon with a sincere tone of voice. “Honestly, it’s kinda nice hearing from another slut’s--Umm, I mean Escort’s experience.” After that little slip-up, Spike looked around again while giggling to himself. “Sorry, I’m not that used to using that term to describe myself. Only Twilight calls me that, and that’s mostly for her own comfort.”

“Well, at least she respects you enough as an adult to keep from judgin’ ya,” retorted Braeburn back at him. “Seriously, you wouldn’t believe how awkward Apple Family reunions used to be for me! The only reason they respect me now is because they found out how much I regularly donate to the orphanage the next town over. It’s kiiiiinda hard to hate a sex-worker when they single-hoofedly saved a bunch of orphans’ Hearth’s Warming.”

“Yeah, Applejack told me about that!” chirped Spike with an impressed smile up at him. “And I gotta say, that’s really noble of you! If I charged for my services, I’d probably do the same thing.”

“Well, thank ya kindly,” the pony said with a grateful tip of his Stetson. However, his face grew a little more blushed after hearing that last detail from the promiscuous dragon. “Although I gotta ask somethin’. Is the whole... ‘sex for free’ thing just because you don’t want your Dragon Greed rilin’ up again?”

“Weeeeellllll… I also don’t want guys to feel like they have to give something to receive a little relief, you know? Sometimes a good gesture is all you need to brighten up someone’s day~” Spike shot his buddy a wink after that answer, but then added with a more hesitant shrug, “But, uuhhh… yeah, I’d rather not have my Dragon Greed rile up a second time. Especially now that I have wings. I mean, could you imagine if I grew into a monster the size of the building that could fly and was horny?”

“Heh~ Alright, I’ll give you that,” Braeburn said with a shake of his head and a hearty chuckle. “I will say though, there are probably a loooooot of guys who’d love to have fun with a bigger version of ya~”

Spike knew that Braeburn was likely right, but he still huffed with a scoff and said defensively, “Yeah, maybe if they wanted to bottom~”

That caused the two guys to stop in their tracks and start laughing, not seeming to mind if anypony was nearby to overhear the dragon’s little quip. Since they had walked through most of the main road that went down Apploosa during their conversation, not many townsponies were nearby the outskirts to make Braeburn look too worried about any unneeded intervention. However, neither of them seemed to notice a particular stallion who was perched just around the corner of the Post Office, who was leaned over to get a look at both of them. And given how massive the brute looked, it was almost a shock that neither of them saw the guy until he lumbered out into full view.

“Whoa!” Spike jolted the instant he saw the brown and white stallion emerge seemingly out of nowhere. The dragon’s wings sprung out by instinct, and he ended up hovering a good ten feet in the air with a distinct leathery flapping. Even though his face showed a notable expression of fear or surprise, the heavy blush on his cheeks indicated that Spike wasn’t completely against seeing somepony that huge. Of course, the draft horse-sized pony retreated back several steps upon seeing that response, and tried to disappear behind the corner again.

“Wait, wait, wait, wait!” Braeburn quickly stood on his hind-legs as he held both forelegs out, with each hoof pointed at one of the two guys. His focus first turned towards Spike as he said assuredly, “Hey, it’s alright! It’s alright, he’s a local ‘round here. He’s actually one of the rodeo clowns as of recently!” He then turned back around while Spike was still hovering mid-air, and shot a friendly wave to the bashful stallion. “Heya there, Troubleshoes! Wanna come and meet Spike here?~”

The draft horse quickly disappeared behind the corner once more, almost as if a nervous colt was taking the reins instead of the stallion himself. Spike managed to land back on the ground, but his cheeks were still visibly reddened while he bit his bottom lip. As he blinked a couple times towards Troubleshoes’ direction, Braeburn huffed with a disappointed glance before saying back to the dragon, “Uhhh… don’t worry none ‘bout that, Spike. He might be a big fella, but he’s also as skittish as your yellow friend, errr… Fluffershy?”

“Fluttershy,” the dragon corrected briefly, but his sights were still set towards that building as his head began to tilt to the side. While his emerald eyes narrowed with a look bordering between curiosity and wariness, he had to take a quick breath before asking, “So… how well do you, like… know him?”

Braeburn shrugged rather casually and replied, “Honestly, it ain’t until recently that ponies ‘round Apploosa are willin’ to give him a chance. He was kinda considered a criminal for the longest time, but we were able to see he was just clumsy and not some ‘mastermind vandal’.” He chuckled a little after that part, and readjusted his Stetson while shaking his head in disbelief.

After a sharp exhale, the yellow stallion added with a raised brow on Spike, “I will say, though... if you’re meanin’ whether or not I know him like that, I can’t say I’ve ever had the privilege. Around these parts, it’s not really smart to go ‘round solicitin’ stallions left and right, you know? There might be a lot of willin’ guys in town, but that don’t mean an unwillin’ one won’t punch ya in the mouth for askin’ upfront. I usually just let ‘em come to me, and Troubleshoes ain’t never done that as of yet.”

“R-Right…” Spike nodded pertly, but he still tried to lean his body over to get a better angle around that corner. Even though he could understand Braeburn’s perspective on not asking out guys around this region, it was clear that the dragon saw an opportunity he wasn’t too keen on letting slip away. Not to mention, being a flying dragon with claws and fire-breath was probably a big reason he felt braver about seeking that Troubleshoes fellow out. So after unbiting his lip, Spike huffed before deciding to speak up. “Ummmm… Mister Troubleshoes? Are you still there?”

Neither of them could hear any confirmation that a pony was still around that corner. However, the faintest hint of a shadow could be seen peering from the ground where Spike and Braeburn could see it. That could’ve easily been a different pony (or even just some random object), but the drake was determined enough to smile and add optimistically, “J-Just so you know, I’m sorry for jumping like that! I mean… you’re literally bigger than Celestia, so I hope you can understand it from my perspective. But, ummm… if you’re the same Troubleshoes that Apple Bloom and her friends helped out, then I’d really like to know you!”

Another awkward bout of silence followed after that genuine response. While the two waited to see what Troubleshoes might do (if he was still there), Braeburn blinked a couple times before looking back at the dragon. He wanted to ask how Spike knew of Troubleshoes’ story from his cousin’s perspective, but that first statement got him curious enough to ask, “Wait, is he really bigger than Princess Celestia?”

“I think so,” answered Spike with an honest shrug. He turned back to Braeburn and added hesitantly, “I mean, I’m not a hundred percent sure since he was kinda far away, but it seemed like it. Although, if I were to count Celestia’s horn, then I think she might be a little taller th--”

The sound of a couple heavy hoofsteps interrupted Spike’s words, and the two looked back to see Troubleshoes’ head peeking from behind the building once more. Instead of flinching a second time, Spike carried a much friendlier smile as he waved a claw towards him. “Hi there! You wanna come over and chat with us a little?~”

Despite the small suggestive perk the dragon instinctively made with his brows, he kept his expression fairly innocent-looking as a whole for Troubleshoes’ sake. While Braeburn carried a warm smile and kept himself rarely silent, Troubleshoes slowly walked out from the corner with a timid-looking stance. The stallion’s white muzzle was visibly wrinkled, making it clear that he was still more than a little apprehensive. If this was any other pony, Spike would’ve likely went right up to them and make his intentions crystal-clear; but due to his experience with more sensitive friends like Fluttershy, the dragon kept himself in place as he smiled kindly towards Troubleshoes. “If you want, we could easily talk with you at a different time if it makes you more comfortable.”

Troubleshoes seemed a little less nervous after hearing that option, and gave a meager-looking smile and a blush back at the dragon. However, the stallion then looked away from the two to point his muzzle down to the ground. He looked like he was taking a couple breaths, and trying to get himself ready to act appropriately. Meanwhile, Braeburn gave a light nudge to Spike’s side before whispering with an impressed smile, “Man, you really are good at bein’ social, ain’cha?~”

“Well, I’m not just a slut, you know,” Spike replied back with a cheeky smirk. “I am a Royal Assistant too.”

“Right, right…”

After nodding in understanding, Braeburn looked back at Troubleshoes alongside his scaled friend. Fortunately, it seemed that their quick back and forth was just long enough for the larger stallion to huff in determination. Troubleshoes pursed his lips tightly shut as he looked back at Spike, and breathed in through his nostrils before walking forward. The dragon didn’t say anything to spook him, but he smiled a little wider in anticipation of the burly stud coming towards them. Braeburn, upon seeing that Troubleshoes looked to be focused on Spike, politely stepped away so the two could have some more room.

As soon as Troubleshoes came up to the dragon with a heavy blush and tensed-up expression, Spike put out his claw to introduce himself properly. “Hey! My name is Spike. I’m here in Apploosa with my friends, and I was curiou--”

“Can you come to my place tonight?”

Troubleshoes’ sudden, deeply-toned statement was abrupt enough to freeze Spike’s greeting for a split-second. Braeburn had to do a double-take after hearing that reply, and blinked a couple times while his brows were raised. Meanwhile, the dragon himself was able to recompose himself after a second or two. “Ummm… a-absolutely!” he chirped with a surprised and grateful smile, certainly not wanting to look a gift-horse in the mouth. He didn’t want to make any hasty assumptions, but Spike was hopeful enough to ask with a blushed shiver, “Do… you want me to bring anything?”

Troubleshoes’ blush grew even heavier, and his eyes darted back and forth with a growing look of hesitance. However, despite Braeburn standing nearby within earshot, the burly stallion was able to look back at Spike and nod his head. “Ummm… B-Bring some lube.”

Braeburn’s jaw dropped, looking downright offended that Troubleshoes just asked the dragon upfront. As for Spike, his face lit up like it was on fire as he nodded excitedly. “You got it!~”

After exhaling shakily with a confirming nod of agreement, Troubleshoes ran off without saying another word. Braeburn just stood in utter shock while gawking at Spike, who looked like he was trying his hardest to keep from dancing giddily. Upon seeing the dragon’s bubbly, giggling reaction to that proposition, it took everything in the Apploosan to not scowl in bitter jealousy.

“Hehehehehe… Oh my gosh, that was one of my quickest offers ever!~” beamed Spike as his wings spring out and buzzed in anticipation. Of course, his excitement wasn’t enough to keep him from saying towards Braeburn, “Ummm… you wanna come along with me, Brae?~”

“No, no… He clearly wanted you…” Despite how strongly Spike’s expression slumped after his offer was rejected, Braeburn could only sigh and walk away with a dejected look of his own. Before his friend could say anything else, the stallion raised a hoof and said, “Y’all have fun tonight. I’ll be at the saloon if you need me…”

While the dragon remained by himself with a saddened look, Brae waited until he was out of earshot to mutter to himself, “Dammit! I’ve wanted Troubleshoes to fuck me for months…”