Some Useful/Troublesome Information

by Cyndaquil

Rating: everyone
Tags: Romance, Lily, Flower Ponies, Comedy, Random, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Princess Cadance, Roseluck, Daisy
Length: 1993

Due to a drop in birth and marriage rates, Princess Cadence decides to make it so that anypony can find out who their soul mate is, if they wish to know. What can go wrong?

Due to a drop in birth and marriage rates, Princess Cadence decides to make it so that anypony can easily find out who their soul mate is, if they wish to know.

What can go wrong?

Artist: Holivi

Published 2018-09-04 05:20:01 UTC
Last updated 2018-09-04 05:20:01 UTC

1 Some Useful/Troublesome Information

Daisy looked upon the large crowd that was gathering. Every pony in Ponyville seemed to have come. Fortunately she could just stay in her stall, safe from the rush of the crowds.

On Sundays, she would always open a stall in the town market, selling the same wares you could find daily in the Shoppe of the Flower Trio. Today was Tuesday. She figured a public announcement from the princess of love might be a good place to sell flowers, and based on the size of the crowd she might not be wrong. Perhaps it would depend on what the princess had to say.

After a brief introduction from Mayor Mare, Princess Cadence stepped up onto the podium. She unravelled a short scroll, and began to speak.

My Dear Little Ponies,

As princess of love it is my privilege, as well as my burden, to know and understand the secrets of the heart as much as any one pony is capable. As such I have developed a special gift, a new form of magic which allows me divine who is a ponies true soul mate.

Ever since acquiring this skill, I have struggled with the implications. Part of the magic of love is in the discovery, yet if I know where your true hearts belong, how could I withhold that information from any of you. Also, the birth and marriage rates are dropping slightly.

Immediately after this proclamation, you will all receive letters. The letter will be addressed you by name. Inside this letter is the name of your soul mate.

You don't have to open my letters if you don’t want to! I strongly suggest you all take time to think on this.

Whatever you decide, know this: each of you has my love.

There was not a roar or cheer from the crowd. Instead there were a strangely deafening number of whispers.

Once she was finished, Derpy Muffins, a town favourite, appeared wearing her postpony hat, and having her letter-bag filled to the brim. She would pull out pink envelopes one by one and hand them to the ponies they were addressed to.

Apparently Derpy was trying to outdo Rainbow Dash, by not making any ponies wait. A few received the wrong letter and had to swap with another pony; each was very properly addressed in Cadence's own handwriting.

The princess answered a few questions, though apparently she had to hurry and catch the friendship express. She was doing this in Canterlot and Appleloosa as well.

Daisy was just starring, in no particular direction when she heard an awkward squeak. She turned to see that Derpy was holding out a letter for her.

Answering a knock on the door, Lily took two letters from Derpy.

Closing the door behind her, she climbed the steps to the second floor of their cottage. It wasn’t really a second floor, just the part below the triangular roof; though the way they use the space, you couldn’t really call it an attic either.

“Roseluck, I have Cadence’s letters.”

“That’s nice Lily.” Roseluck couldn’t even be bothered to look up from the scope of her rifle.

Lily had really expected more of a reaction from Roseluck.

“It has the name of your one true soul mate.”

“I know.”

“Roseluck, you’ve been watching the garden all day. That rabbit is not coming.”

“It’ll come! A rabbit has been tearing up our garden. That Fluttershy says, ‘Oh it couldn’t be my sweet little Angel bunny,’ but I know it is.”

“Uh huh.”

“Let’s see what Fluttershy says when there’s a paint ball in that rabbits fur.”

“Could you please tear yourself away from that toy and be excited with me for a minute. I’m about to find out who is my special somepony.”

“Oh…so you’re opening yours.”

Mrs Cake accepted her letter from Derpy.

She was about to call out to her husband, when a thought occurred to her. Why should Cadence even bother with the two letters? They were already married. For that matter, why send two letters to married couples, each private to the spouse for whom it was addressed? Why not one? All that time, all they shared; how could he not be?

At first it was just a thought, but soon it started to nag at her. What if she opens her letter and finds out that Carrot Cake isn’t her soul mate? Is that possible?

Suddenly she didn’t want to look at her own letter. Perhaps she would look at her husbands. She opened his mail all the time, anyhow.

As she looked at the pile of envelopes in her hooves, she noticed something. There were letters for Pound and Pumpkin as well. They were foals, how could Cadence know so soon? Surely it was still subject to change.

She starred at the pile of envelops wondering what to do.

“Let’s open ours together Roseluck. Let’s do it on the count of three, come on!” Lily held up her envelop ready to tear into it.

“Lily, I don’t want to open mine.”

Lily stopped in her tracks, and stared at her incredulously.

“You’re seriously not going to open your letter.” Lily was amazed.

“Actually I probably will, eventually.”

“Rosie, how can you stand it? How can you possibly wait on something like this?”

“Well, there’s this pony I like, and I thought… I thought maybe tomorrow this pony will come to me with flowers.” Roseluck blushed. “And if this pony doesn’t come, then… next time we see one another, I can act all cool and casual ask ‘Hey did you read your letter from Cadence?’ This pony might say yes, and tell me all about this great wonderful romance with some other pony, and I’ll smile, and I won’t even cry.”

Roselucks eyes began to water. Lily had her beat, her eyes were now dripping like a leaky faucet. She pulled Roseluck into a hug.

“So did you read yours yet?” Smoulder asked.

“Read what?” Spike asked.

“What do you think?”

“Do you mean Twilight's new academic paper on generosity?”

“No, the letter from Cadence!” Smoulder was now huffing smoke.

“Why would I get one of those? I’m a dragon. Those letters are for ponies.”

“I know of a yak, a changeling, a griffon, and one dragon who all got theirs.”

Just as Spike was about to say something, he felt a tap on the shoulder, then something slid into his field of view.

“Oh thanks Derpy.”

Spike pulled out a muffin, as payment, then accepted his letter. He turned back to smoulder.

“Well I guess I did get one.”

“Told’ ya!”

“Now I can find out if me and Rarity are really meant to be together.”

“Rarity! That marshmallow coloured pony who can’t stop saying ‘darling’ all the time.” Now flames where shooting from Smoulder’s snout.

“Yeah, that’s the one.”

“Okay, I’m going to do it.”

“Go for it!” Roseluck cheered.

Lily poised herself like she was about to tear the envelope, then she held that pose, and held it, and held it. Finally she started to relax her hooves, though she still hadn’t opened the envelope.

“What’s wrong?”

“I’m afraid!” Lily confessed.

“It’s okay.” Roseluck circled around her and massaged her shoulders. “It’s a big decision.”

“I’m a coward Rosie.”

“No you’re not!”

“I once fainted at the sight of bunnies.”

“Hey, those bunnies wrecked our flowers, and it was practically Hearts and Hooves Day. That stampede hurt all of us, and ponies treated it like a joke.”

“Stupid bunnies!” Roseluck mumbled as she took another peek through her sniper scope.

“I’m probably the only pony in town who’s this afraid.”

“Hey Twilight!” Rainbow Dash called out. “Have you opened yours yet.”

“Uh… not yet!” Twilight looked around. She was a little self conscious about how loudly Rainbow Dash was speaking

“Awesome, the girls and I were talking, the mane six I mean. Rarity is definately going to open hers, and so are Applejack and Fluttershy.”

“Even Fluttershy.”

“Actually, Fluttershy was afraid to do it alone, so Pinkie suggested we all get together and have a big letter opening party.”

“Uh… okay.”

“Y’know, just for the ponies who wanna open theirs. Rarity thinks it’s nice cause we can tell our friends the news as soon as we know.”

“Right, what can go wrong.” Twilight laughed nervously.

“Oh, and invite Glimmer for me, will you?” Rainbow Dash flew off.”

“Everything can go wrong!” Twilight pulled her hair, and started hyperventilating.

“All my friends are going to find out who they love. Love! Love is like the one thing that friendship can’t compete with! I’m freaking out!”

“So that pony you like, is it Time-Turner?”

“Time-Turner; is he that pony who wore the oversized scarf to Matilda’s wedding.”

“You mean it’s not him?”

“Nope.”

At just that moment, Daisy came in through the door. “Hi girls, any luck shooting that rabbit?”

“So do you want to open your letter?” Maud spoke in her usual monotone.

Mudbriar lifted a brow, an unusual level of facial expression for him. “Technically it would be the more practical thing to do.” Mudbriar answered.

“How about we both do it on the count of three?”

“Yes, let’s.” He couldn’t think of how to fit a ‘technically’ into his reply.

“3-2-…”

Before Maud could finish, Mudbriar grabbed her letter. With both letters in his mouth, he ran away, in a mad panic.

“Cute,” said Maud in monotone, “he’s nervous.”

“It’s the bunny.”

Catching a glimpse outside the window, Roseluck jumped for the rifle and quickly fired.

Nopony, even looked until the smoke cleared from the spent cartridge. It was a small window, and it was hard for all to watch at once. Lily looked outside, while Roseluck looked through her scope. “Well, you hit it.”

“Sorry Mudbriar!”

Daisy crossed her hooves and gave Roseluck the look. “He was trampling the garden. It was just a paint ball.”

“I didn’t know you could get them pink with glitter.” Lily commented.

“They were a birthday gift from Pinkie.”

The CMC skipped and bounced, circling Big Mac and Sugar Belle.

“So did you get your letters?” Sweetie asked.

“Euyup.”

“Are you gonna open them.”

The two looked at each other, giggled, then spoke in unison. “Nope.”

They giggled some more, as the fillies felt they were being teased.

“So are you going to open yours Daisy?”

“I already did.”

Roseluck and Lily both gaped at her in surprise.

“You did!”

“Yes I did.” Daisy answered.

“And…”

“It confirmed something I already knew.” Daisy giggled.

“Are you going to tell us.” Roseluck asked.

“I don’t know. You haven’t told me either of yours.”

The two seemed to think about this for a minute.

“I guess,” said Lily bravely, “I’ll just have to open mine.” She poised herself once again to tear open the letter.

“Lily,” said Daisy, “before you do, promise me something. Promise we’ll always be best friends.”

Lily thought for a moment. “Daisy, you know I love you. Isn’t your special somepony also supposed to be your best friend.” She didn’t even stop opening the letter as she spoke.

“That won’t be a problem.” Daisy told her.

She looked at the letter. Roseluck looked over her shoulder, and saw just an instant after she did.

“All three of us! Can Cadence do that?”

The next morning, the three left their cottage. The cottage, and lot were perfectly normal, though the whole town was burning around them.

The three saw a hoof sticking out of a pile of rubble, and worked together to dig Derpy out.

“Thanks girls.” Said Derpy.

“Derpy, what happened here?”

“It was those letters. Too many ponies freaked out over them. It plunged the whole town into chaos.”

“Was it something about the pairings in the letters.”

“Oh, I don’t think anypony was actually brave enough to read their letters.”