Cutie Mark Crusaders Pranksters

by Rainbowfan45

Rating: everyone
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Princess Luna, Princess Cadance, Comedy, Cutie Mark Crusaders, Random, Princess Celestia, Main 6
Length: 4463

Three fillies, three targets, and untold pranks

The CMC has tried everything to get their cutie marks.

Well...almost everything.

Until they decide to try out for Prankster cutie marks.

Three fillies determined to get their marks.
Three unsuspecting targets.
Unlimited prank possibilities.

There's no way this could fail!

Right???

Ummmmm...that might not be true...

Published 2018-09-05 12:20:01 UTC
Last updated 2018-09-05 12:20:01 UTC

Preparing for Pranks

"Well, now what?"

The question loomed over the Cutie Mark Crusaders as they sat in thier clubhouse after yet another failed attempt to get thier marks. This one had been making Equestria's Largest Cupcake...or trying to. They had succeeded only in making what could be called Equestria's Largest Mess, resulting in getting them banned from Sugarcube Corner for the rest of the week. After cleanup and repair work, that is.

"I think we give up." Sweetie Belle said tiredly. "Spending the afternoon scrubbing frosting off of ceilings is just plain exhausting."

"Yeah." Apple Bloom spoke up. "Ah ain't never aimin' to break the record for biggest cupcake ever again."

"Me neither." Scootaloo admitted. Then she brightened. "I know! Why don't we try pranks? I know some good ones! And Dash will think I'm awesome!" She noticed the deadpan stares and added,"Er...I mean, maybe we'll get cutie marks?"

"Eh, worth a try." Sweetie Belle said.

"Yeah!" Apple Bloom agreed. "Though we gotta watch our pranks. We get caught playin' a real mean one, Ah won't sit down for a week!"

The other two grimaced at that.

"Ok, so who do we go for?" Sweetie Belle asked.

There was a long silence as they pondered thier options. Then Scootaloo shot to her hooves.

"I got it!" She said. "Celestia, Luna, and Cadance will all be in Ponyville tomorrow. Lets rig up something for them! Something epic! Something that'll go down in history! Dash'll be so proud!"

"You're joking, right?" Sweetie Belle asked.

Scootaloo shook her head. "Nope!"

"Ah hate to say this, an' burst your fun," Apple Bloom said. "But we can't prank the princesses."

"Aw, come on!" Scootaloo said. "It'll be fun! I bet nopony has ever dared to do it before!"

"Yeah, maybe cause they could send ya to the moon!" Apple Bloom said.

"Or put you in a dungeon!" Sweetie Belle piped up.

"Or banish ya from Equestria to some far off land!" Apple Bloom said.

"Girls, come on." Scootaloo said. "Its just a prank! And anyway, whoever heard of banishing a filly? Look, its all in good fun and we'll pick a safe prank. What could go wrong?"

Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom exchanged looks before saying in unison,"Everything!"

Scootaloo groaned. "It'll be fun! Come on!"

"Fine." Sweetie said. Apple Bloom gave a nod.

Then together they chorused,"CUTIE MARK CRUSADER PRANKSTERS, YAY!!!"

***********************************

The first thing about pranking is to study up on your victims...er, I mean, targets. The best way for the CMC to do that was to go see the expert. So they made thier way to Twilight's castle.

"You sure we should do this?" Sweetie Belle asked nervously. "Suppose she gets suspicious?"

"Just play it cool, Sweetie Belle. Just play it cool." Scootaloo advised. "Let me talk, ok?"

Sweetie Belle nodded in agreement, while Apple Bloom just looked skeptical.

They knocked at the door, and it was opened fairly quickly.

"Hi, girls!" Twilight greeted them enthusiastically. "Come in!"

The fillies entered and Twilight shut the door. She smiled down at them.

"What can I do for you?" She asked.

"I...um...you...we...I mean..." stammered Scootaloo, at a loss.

Apple Bloom rolled her eyes. "Let you talk, eh, Scoots?" She muttered to her friend, then looked up at Twilight and smiled.

"Twilight, would ya happen to have some books on Pricesses Celestia, Luna, and Cadance? Ya know, like what they like, an' don't, an' has anypony ever pranked 'em...that kind of stuff."

Twilight laughed. "Well, I'm not sure about the prank part," she said. "But yes. I have books you can read about the rest of it. This way, girls."

She led them to her library and levitated several books from the shelves, stacking them neatly next to the Crusaders.

"Have at it!" She said cheerfully. "I'm going to run some errands, but feel free to stay and read as long as you like. Spike isn't here, he's at the Boutique, so you have the place to yourselves. Have fun!" She trotted out.

"Wow!" Sweetie Belle said. "All these books!"

Apple Bloom was already sitting down reading one. She looked up.

"Well, get to readin', girls!" She said. "Ah don't want to risk Twilight comin' back and hearin' us if we're talkin' pranks!"

The other two settled in to read. Things were quiet for a long time. Finally, Scootaloo yawned.

"This is so boring!" She said.

"Maybe," said Sweetie Belle. "But we gotta know our targets."

Apple Bloom stretched. "Well, Ah think Ah know one thing." She said. "So far, all the ones who have tried to attack Celestia have been defeated! Or destroyed. Ah don't like either of those options."

"Yeah, but those were wars." Scootaloo said. "We're just talking pranks."

"Well, what if they get mad and destroy us?" Sweetie Belle didn't look too happy.

"Chillax, will you??" Scootaloo said, sprawling on her back. "This will be so easy and fun! They'll never see it coming. And they won't destroy us, either."

"Chillax?" Apple Bloom echoed, staring at her. "Ah think ya might be spending too much time with Rainbow Dash."

"Girls, if we're doing this, we need prank ideas for each princess!" Sweetie Belle spoke up. "Something fitting. That they won't banish us for. And that our sisters won't be really mad about."

"Tack in thier chairs?" Apple Bloom suggested.

"Psh!" Scootaloo said indignantly. "Anypony can do that! It needs to be epic!"

"Well, uh..." Sweetie Belle searched her brain frantically for pranks Dash had pulled on Rarity. "Die their fur or something?"

"Ooh, that's good, Sweetie!" Scootaloo cried excitedly. "We can use that one! We'll dye Princess Celestia's fur, um...blue or green or something!"

"Works for me!" Apple Bloom said. "But what about the other two?"

They all sat in silence for a bit, pondering what could be done to the other two princesses. Suddenly Sweetie Belle yelled,"I got it!"

"What is it?!" Apple Bloom and Scootaloo asked breathlessly.

"Well, Cadence is the princess of love, right? Suppose we make a love potion and give it to a few stallions, to make them run after her? It'll be funny to see her trying to deal with it!"

"Um, one thing with that," said Apple Bloom, frowning. "She's already married, remember? What pony would go after her?"

"Well," Sweetie Belle said, rubbing her hoof along her neck. "We can use a potion that'll only last a very short while. You know, like maybe an hour? And then she won't have to deal with it very long."

"That's...actually pretty brilliant!" Scootaloo stated, folding her forelegs.

"So now we just have Luna." Said Apple Bloom. The fillies sat still, thinking.

"This one is hard." Sweetie Belle said.

"Hey, what if we cover her in itching powder or something?" Scootaloo offered.

"Too classic." Apple Bloom said. "This has to be good. Real good."

"What if we used itching powder, and put sneezing powder too?" Scootaloo asked. The other two shook thier heads.

We have to think of something!" Scootaloo said mournfully. "They'll be here tomorrow and we need our pranks. And after all the work we're going to, it better be worth it!"

"Yeah! Bet we get our cutie marks!" Sweetie Belle said enthusiastically.

The return of Twilight at that moment cut thier excited pranking chatter short. Twilight smiled at them.

"Did you enjoy the books?" She asked.

"Oh, yes, ma'am!" Sweetie Belle said.

"Did you find out whatever you wanted to know?" Twilight inquired, as she started levitating books back to thier appropriate spots.

"Yeah!" Scootaloo said. "And if you'll excuse us, we, um, we got some Crusadering to do, so, um, bye!!!"

The three fillies fled, leaving an astonished Twilight in thier wake.

Tomorrow was gonna be great! All they had to do was set the stage, and then, let the pranking begin!

Scootaloo nailed thier shared sentiments with the most used phrase of her big sister/idol:

"This is gonna be so AWESOME!"

Author's Note

This is my first attempt at a story that is more than one chapter. I'm hoping you guys enjoy it! Let me know!

Also.....if anyone has any prank idea for Luna...

I can't think of one right now to save my life!

When Pranks Fail...

Author's Note

This chapter might seem a little rushed in spots, and for that I apologise. I was on a writing roll and putting down stuff as fast as it entered my head. And like Pinkie Pie, my mind sometimes bounces from subject to subject so fast it can give your brain whiplash:rainbowlaugh:

Thanks for your suggestions on pranks for Luna! I decided not to, but to take it in a somewhat different direction. And also to throw in a bonus prank...:pinkiehappy: Hope you enjoy!!

Oh, and...there's another chapter in the making...:twilightsmile:

When Pranks Fail...

The Crusaders were full of excitement. They were gathered in thier clubhouse, eagerly discussing thier plans as the early morning sun shone through the window.

"Alright, now! Atten-TION!" Scootaloo shouted.

Her two partners in crusading crime popped up to stand straight and still at the command. Anypony walking in on the three fillies would very likely have burst out laughing.

They were wearing thier Crusader capes, and had battle helmets on thier heads...said helmets having been borrowed from Pinkie Pie the night before. They had also gathered everything together they might need.

"Alright, troops!" Scootaloo went on, pacing back and forth. "Our goal is set. Our mission is clear. We must prank the princesses in such as way as to go down in Equestrian history as the best pranksters ever!" She giggled. "After Pinkie and Dash, anyhow." She sobered again. "Girls, the stakes are high. The risks are great. We might not make it back in one piece. Or alive. Or..."

"Yeah, yeah, we get it, Captain!" Apple Bloom interrupted. "Its risky. But we are so gonna nail this and get our cutie marks!"

Scootaloo frowned disapprovingly at having been cut off in the middle of her well rehearsed motivational speech, but before she could speak, Sweetie Belle piped up.

"I think I just thought of our first problem." She said. Her friends looked at her. "How exactly are we gonna dye Celestia's fur? Not like we can just walk up and dump a big barrel of dye over her."

The other two stared at each other, completely taken aback by this unexpected developement.

"Aw zap apples!" Apple Bloom finally said. "We never thought of that!"

"Nope." Scootaloo added, rubbing her hoof across the back of her head and knocking her helmet over her eyes in the process. She righted it. "Girls. We are down but not out. Not yet. Lets think on this a little bit."

They all sat down to do some hard thinking. How in Equestria could they pull off the fur dye? It was a good plan, but Sweetie Belle was correct: they couldn't just walk up and dump dye over Celestia's head. That would kind of defeat the whole top secret mission thing they had going. They didn't want to be discovered as the culprits until after all the pranks were played.

"What if we hide an' shoot her with it?" Apple Bloom finally asked.

"How?" Scootaloo said, waving her hooves. "We don't have any cannons or anything."

"What if we built a catapult and threw the dye that way?" Sweetie Belle offered.

"Nah, we might hit somepony besides Celestia with it." Scootaloo replied, sighing.

After what seemed like hours, but was actually only about two minutes, Apple Bloom suddenly stood up.

"We need a plan B for her, I guess." She said. "How about super spicy sauce in her drink?"

"Well..." Scootaloo hesitated, then shrugged. "Not exactly epic, but, ok. I guess it's not so bad for a plan B."

With that crisis averted, the fillies set to pulling together thier prank kit. In it went the love potion, a bottle of spicy sauce(why it was in the clubhouse at all is a mystery), and three walkie talkies(again, borrowed from Pinkie Pie).

"We still need an epic prank for Luna!" Sweetie Belle said suddenly, eyes widening.

Scootaloo patted her on her helmet(which for some unexplained reason had had a hole put in it more than large enough for a horn)and smiled.

"Never fear, my fine soldier!" She said confidently. "We'll think of one. But first, lets talk battle plans!"

It was decided that Scootaloo would deal with putting the spicy sauce in Celestia's drink, Sweetie Belle would deal with putting the love potion in a few unfortunate stallions' drinks, and then they would meet up to pull the final prank on Luna...when they figured out what it would be.

Armed with capes, helmets, pranks, and thier assignments, the three Crusaders headed for town to pick thier hiding spots and await the arrival of the princesses.

Things were busy in town. Twilight was organising the festivities, Rarity was busy with Pinkie Pie overseeing decorations, Rainbow Dash was clearing clouds, Fluttershy was organising her bird choir for last minute practice, and Applejack was busily unloading various apple themed desserts onto a long table. Spike was busy following Rarity around with a starry eyed look on his face.

The fillies quickly hid so as to not be spotted and Scootaloo handed out the walkie talkies.

"Remember the plan!" She whispered.

They watched the big ponies finishing up, and then grinned as a horn sounded. The royal chariot descended with Princesses Luna, Celestia, and Cadence in it.

Twilight stepped forward to greet them, with a slightly long speech, and then the three were whisked off to enjoy the festivities set up for them.

It got kind of boring, watching while the princesses walked and talked and oohed over this and that, but at long last they were led to a table set up for thier dining pleasure.

"Maybe we should have thought to get Twilight, too!" Scootaloo whispered to her comrades. "I forget sometimes that she's also a princess."

"Itching powder?" Sweetie Belle asked softly, grinning.

"You have some???" Scootaloo asked in dismay. "Who carries itching powder to...no, never mind. I don't wanna know. Fine. Itching powder. You brought it, you do it!"

The princesses had all taken thier seats(Twilight included), and the meal was about to begin. Pinkie Pie, dressed as a waiter, bounced up and excitedly asked what they wanted to drink. They all chose punch.

"Now!" Scootaloo hissed.

Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom each grabbed a vial from the prank bag and hurried to do thier tasks. Sweetie Belle was able to spike the drinks of three stallions, unnoticed, while Apple Bloom somehow managed to do the same to Celestia's punch.

Back in the safety of thier hiding spot, they giggled. Scootaloo handed over the itching powder, and Sweetie Belle made a last daring run to carefully sprinkle some on Twilight.

She fled back into hiding immediately. The three fillies watched excitedly.

Three things happened all at once, one expected, and two not.

Twilight started scratching and twisting and yelling about how she was so itchy; Princess Celestia went moony eyed and stared at a group of passing stallions before charging after them with giggles and flirtatious comments; and the three stallions whose drinks had been spiked turned beet red and rushed madly to a nearby fountain, plunging thier heads in and drinking hastily.

"What in the wide world of Equestria is goin' on here?!" Applejack yelled, attempting to lasso the stallion crazed Celestia.

"I don't know, but somepony please MAKE THIS ITCHING STOP!!!!" Twilight ended in a scream.

Celestia's rampage scared Fluttershy's bird choir into flight, ponies scrambled to get out of her path, knocking into stuff and turning it over, and the three stallions at the fountain were nearly drowning themselves in thier effort to cool thier fiery tongues.

Things were going crazy, and stuff was getting smashed and broken. Luna and Cadence, the only princesses not inflicted with some odd malady, just sat and watched in shock.

Twilight was on her back in the dirt, rolling and twisting and going through all kinds of gyrations to scratch the insufferable itch. Thankfully, Rainbow Dash came to her rescue, picking her up and hurriedly taking her and dropping her in the water fountain. Rarity had managed to save the three stallions from an untimely and watery death, and was busy helping them to get glasses of milk to cool them off.

Applejack had finally lassoed Celestia, who grinned at the fleeing stallions and cried,"No! Come back, my loves! Let us get to know each other better! All of us!"

Pinkie Pie was bouncing about trying to catch cupcakes and muffins as they were knocked over, and Fluttershy had hastily gone after her panicked birds.

While all this was going on, the CMC sat motionless behind thier bush, wanting to run but not able to move.

"Oh no..." Sweetie Belle whispered. "We must have mixed up the potion and hot sauce!!"

"Oh man, this is a disaster!" Scootaloo groaned.

"Well, Ah don't reakon it could get worse." Apple Bloom offered helpfully.

And then it did.

Somepony knocked against the outside cookstove being used to grill fresh hayburgers. It fell, hot coals spilled out and landed among a pile of nearby straw. It burst into flame almost instantly.

"Ah take it back! It can get worse!" Apple Bloom whispered.

Unable to bear watching the destruction around them, which they had inadvertantly caused, the Crusaders cowered together and hoped nopony would find them.

That was short lived when a familiar voice called out,"Hey, AJ! Rarity!!! You might want to see this! Over here!" It was Dash...right above them.

The bush was stomped aside with an orange hoof and Applejack exclaimed,"You three!"

"What do you know about this?" Rarity demanded.

The three fillies looked up and found not just thier big sisters, but several townsponies, and all the princesses staring at them sternly.

Well...almost all of them. Celestia was still giggling and trying to solicit attention from every stallion she saw.

The fire had been put out before it got worse, but there was still a scene of utter destruction around them.

"They know alot, apparently." Dash said, having lifted the pack off of Sweetie Belle, looked inside. "Pepper sauce, itching powder, and...what the hay?! Love potion?! No wonder Celestia went stallion crazy!"

"What do ya'll have to say for yourselves?" Applejack demanded sternly.

The Crusaders exchanged looks of dread before Scootaloo opened her mouth and yelled one word:

"RETREAT!!!!!!!!!"

That was all the other two needed as they followed thier formerly fearless captain's order and ran for thier lives.

Capture and Punishment

The Crusaders' panicked retreat was a short lived one. They had split up outside of town and gone in three different directions, hoping that maybe doing so would make it much harder to find them. They could meet up later, at the clubhouse, after it was searched for them. Which it would be...considering they were now likely on Equestria's Most Wanted list.

Five of the Mane Six had split up to look for them, while Luna, Twilight, and Cadence had taken the still hog tied Celestia to Twilight's castle to wait for the effects of the live potion to wear off.

Applejack and Rainbow Dash found Sweetie Belle hiding in a haystack at Sweet Apple Acres.

Rarity and Fluttershy, who had finally calmed her birds, found Scootaloo hiding in a tree by the pond.

Pinkie Pie found Apple Bloom hiding in a dust bin at Fluttershy's cottage...not too smart, all things considered.

All three of course tried to flee, but to no avail. They were taken to the castle...and thier impending doom.

Applejack and Dash arrived first, and placed the terrified Sweetie Belle down in front of the four princesses. She immediately flopped on her belly and hid her head.

Rarity and Fluttershy were next, placing Scootaloo next to Sweetie Belle, who gave her captured leader a mournful look.

"Scoots..." Dash's tone was threatening, and she didn't finish. Rarity simply shot her younger sibling a death glare.

Pinkie bounced in last, a terrified Apple Bloom being jostled on her back. Pinkie lightly bucked her off next to the other two, where she cowered.

"Apple Bloom!" Applejack sounded highly upset. The filly cringed.

"Alright, girls." Twilight spoke up, glaring down at the three at her hooves. "Would you like to explain what in the name of Celestia you thought you were doing?!"

"I...we...that is...it..." poor Scootaloo couldn't get her thoughts together.

"Sweetie Belle?" Rarity asked sternly.

The filly eeped loudly and pressed her body closer to the floor, ears pinned back, too terrified to even attempt to talk.

"Apple Bloom?" Applejack said, eyeing her younger sister with more than a little anger.

"It...it...Ah mean...well..." stammered Apple Bloom. "We were, um, trying for our cutie marks...?"

From the expressions on everypony's faces, it was evident that it might have been the worst answer possible.

"Do you mean to tell me," Twilight began, "that you were playing pranks JUST TO GET YOUR CUTIE MARKS??!"

The Crusaders cringed. "Um...yes?" said Apple Bloom slowly.

Twilight's eye twitched and she began pacing furiously. "Pepper sauce in the wine, itching powder on me, love potion in the punch." She fumed. "You caused Princess Celestia to go stallion crazy, you nearly caused three stallions to drown themselves while trying to cool thier mouths, you made me going through all kinds of completely unprincess like movements, and don't even get me started on all the property damage your pranks caused!! You three should be ashamed!"

The Crusaders cowered lower, if that was possible. They realised how mad everypony was. It was true: thier pranks had caused a ton of trouble, even though they hadn't meant them to. They risked a glance up at Twilight and the others. All they saw was fury on all thier faces.

"You...you're not gonna banish us, are you?" Sweetie Belle finally mustered up enough courage to ask.

Princess Celestia stepped forward, now very much recovered from the love potion, and very, very upset at the fillies responsible for giving it to her.

"Why the love potion, girls?" She asked, expression stern.

"Well, if it helps, it...it wasn't meant for you, it was for Princess Cadence." Scootaloo said.

That most certainly did not help.

Princess Cadence loomed over them, her snout mere inches from Scootaloo's. "What?" Her voice was low, but oh so very terrible. One would not have thought the Princess of Love could sound so...mad.

"I...I mean, not for you, for you, but for some stallions who would chase you around for a while!" Scootaloo hastily explained, gulped. "I mean, we thought it would drive you a little crazy. Nothing more. It was supposed to be harmless!"

"Yeah!" Sweetie Belle added. "And the pepper stuff was for Princess Celestia! Only, somehow the bottles got switched around and...and...well, you know."

Princess Celestia stared down at them intensely. "Oh, yes, I know." She said severely. "I made a fool of myself thanks to you three."

Luna, at this point, let out a giggle. Everypony stared at her, and Celestia arched an eyebrow. "Sister?"

"Oh, do pardon me, Sister!" Luna said, still giggling. "But we found the foalish pranks of these young fillies quite amusing. We are suprised they did not get us, as well."

"We were goin' to." Apple Bloom confessed. "But we couldn't think of any."

Celestia scowled as Luna giggled louder.

"I do not find this funny, Sister." She said. "These three caused all of us, with the exception of Cadence, to look very foolish. And thier pranks caused massive destruction to the town center."

"Oh, but the looks on your faces, sister!" Luna said. "It was priceless!" And she collapsed on the floor howling with laughter.

Celestia gave her a glare that promised retribution at a later date, then turned her attention back to the fillies.

"Whoa, nellie!" Apple Bloom whimpered as the Sun Princess towered over them, eyes blazing.

Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo instantly pressed themselves closer to the floor and thier friend at the same time.

"Ah just can't believe you thought this was a good plan!" Applejack huffed, stomping a hoof.

"Indeed!" Rarity added, scowling. "Sweetie Belle, you are in big trouble, young filly!"

Dash took a step forward and gave her fan/sort of little sister a withering glare...although secretly she was a little impressed at the Crusaders' pranks. And the fact that they had even dared to prank Equestria's rulers in the first place. But still, it had been a foalish and dangerous thing to do, so she knew she was going to need to give the filly a sound talking to later.

Twilight stepped forward again. "Are you three prepared to face your punishments?" She asked, eyes narrowed.

Three very audible gulps rang through the room. Then Scootaloo straightened and put a foreleg over each of her friends.

"Its been mighty nice knowing you, girls." She said sadly. "I don't guess we'll be banished to the same place, so...I'll see you in a hundred years. Or never."

The other two latched onto her, starting to cry at that thought.

Everypony else exchanged looks, then Twilight leaned down and gently nuzzled the fillies.

"You're not being banished, girls." She said.

"We...we aren't?" Sweetie Belle faltered.

"Of course not!" Princess Celestia smiled a little. "We don't banish fillies."

Cadence leaned down and nuzzled the fillies too, smiling reassuringly.

"But you still are going to be punished." Twilight added. "I'm sentencing the three of you to clean up the mess your pranks caused. And I'm fairly sure your sisters will see that you do it...right after they have thier own talks with you."

"Ah'll be sure Apple Bloom is there." Applejack said, giving the filly a look that she knew all too well.

"Sweetie Belle will be cleaning up within the hour, Twilight." Rarity promised, glaring at her sister.

"What they said." Dash added, looking hard at Scootaloo.

"Very well, then." Twilight said. "I'll expect it done by the end of the day."

"Yes, Twilight." They said in unison. Then Scootaloo frowned.

"You know the absolute worst part of all this?" She asked her friends.

"Ya mean besides havin' the princesses mad, havin' to clean up the town, an' likely gettin' tanned, too?" Apple Bloom asked.

"Yeah, what's worse than that?" Sweetie Belle asked.

Scootaloo sighed and pointed toward her flank.

"Not a single cutie mark."

The other two checked thier own flanks.

"Aw, zap apples!" Apple Bloom groaned. "All that an' no marks? Ugh!"

"That really is worse than all the rest!" Sweetie Belle moaned sadly.

The three fillies couldn't quite get why everypony exploded into laughter.

Author's Note

Ok, final chapter. I tried to make sure that the CMC got thier appropiate punishment.
Hope you guys enjoyed it!!!