The New Teacher

by Lorhelei

Rating: everyone
Tags: Trixie, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Starlight Glimmer, Twilight Sparkle
Length: 3188

Twilight needs a teacher, and Starlight knows somepony who is always free.

The new School of Friendship is opening. Twilight had everything running smoothly after the incident with Neighsay. That is until she found that she still needed one last teacher.
Starlight had an idea.
One that Twilight wish she hadn’t.
One that will haunt her scholarly halls for all eternity. Or at least the ripe old age of eighty or so. An idea Twilight believes is an act of unbridled desperation.

Twilight needs a teacher, and Starlight knows somepony who is always free.

Published 2018-09-05 04:40:02 UTC
Last updated 2018-09-05 04:40:02 UTC

It was only one job

“Are you crazy!?” a sharp and pitch sound of a mare echoing through the hallways of the castle of friendship.

“Why!? We need one more teacher and she is the only one that do not actually have a job! She is perfect!” replied another mare without hesitation. “Look, Twilight, she will do it just fine. Trust me.”

Twilight let loose a huge sigh as she tried to think in all the things that could possibly—and mostly will—go wrong, the visions of the school exploding and a war between species being the more recurrents of them. She sat on her haunches before answer back to her student and now counselor. “I know, but…” she said while gently massaging the base of her horn with her forehooves. “I do have my trust in you, Starlight… But she? I’m not sure… What about Roseluck?”

“Works at the flowery.”

“And Octavia? Or Vinyl. We could use a Music teacher,” replied instantly Twilight.

“Concert in Canterlot. They will not come back for at least a month,” said Starlight with a flat voice, taking seat in a couch in preparation of what was coming.

“Cheerilee?”

“Already a teacher,” a cup of tea slowly flying toward her.

“Lyra Heartstrings?”

“Concert.”

“Bon Bon?”

“Working on… Actually, nopony knows where she is.” her eyebrow raised as she took a zip of her tea, “do you have more sugar, Twilight?”

“Dr. Hooves? He is a Doctor after all, he could be a good teacher!”

Starlight rolled her eyes at how Twilight totally ignored her question, continuing the questionnaire after all, “working with Derpy in his secret projects or something about that.”

“What about Derpy?”

“Twilight, I already told you that she is with the Doctor,” she sighed.

“Right,” she answered with an hysterical laugh and her eye twitching, “I’m sorry. And what about Lemon Hearts? Moondancer? Minuette? Ms. Pommel?!”

“They doesn’t even live in Ponyville! You are just listing the names of ponies you know!” Starlight slowly left her empty tea cup on the floor at her side, as she saw how Twilight was walking in circles over and over again at the verge of a mental breakdown. “Come on Twilight, I want this to work as much as you, and we both know that she is the only one that will accept. Besides, what’s the worst that could happen?”

Twilight’s mind drifted to a myriad of possible outcomes to that solely decision, “the worst? What if she teleport everyone to the fountain? OR into the fountain!? Or what if she just try one of her crazy tricks with the students!? She could even turn everyone in the classroom in teacups! Oh my Celestia, they will close the school in a second! I will be know as the Princess that could not manage a single school properly! How will I expect them to take me as a Princess after that? No one will respect me! And that’s not the worse… Oh gosh what if-“

“Now you are overthinking this Twilight, if something goes wrong, we just need to erase their memories and all will be fine.”

Twilight looked at her directly at her eyes, an awkward smile painted in Starlight’s face, “that’s true! We could do that! You’re right Starlight!”

“Wait, Twilight. No, That was a joke! You are supposed to say ‘no’ and speak a lesson about friendship and the moral repercussions of mind control! You really are not taking this rationally, like, at all. You just…” Starlight’s eye began to dart side to side in search for a certain dragon that could help her, finding only a wooden door instead,” Mmmm… You should go to your room and have some rest. I’ll speak with her,” she said while pushing Twilight to her room. The Princess attempt to resist just earn her a stronger pushing force against her. “Look, everything will be fine, you just, go ahead, and I will be with you in no time,” she said in a calm tone, contrasting to Twilight’s groaning, “just do not panic, go inside and sleep with your books or something, I’ll take care of this. I’m Counselor Starlight Glimmer after all,” Starlight puffed her chest as she closed the door behind her, applying a magic but weak seal after.

Twilight voice coming out of the room, talking about the end of the days and how she will lost all the trust she earned in all those years of work. The possibility of her bringing manticores, going to expedition into the Everfree forest, or she just being rude at every creature. Starlight did only turn back in preoccupation, but shrugged at the antiques of her friend and teacher.

“Well, I must find Spike first, and Twilight need to calm herself. Then, I’ll go and talk with her…” she stopped for a second, just realizing what she had done, “hearing Twilight over that wooden door brings me some memories,” a chilling coursing through her spine and over her tail, “nope, nope, nope, nope,” she repeated herself until the room was filled with the faith voice of the two mares, one constantly repeating herself something and the other talking about how the world will end after her arrival. The sound of the clopping hooves inside and out of the room eventually faded along with their voices until none of them could be heard anymore.

The School of Friendship was as alive as the past week. Students from all Equestria crossing from one classroom into another as the Headmare and the Counselor finished from teaching the class plan to the new teacher. Twilight saw her carefully explained plan, describing almost at the point of the impossible what was the subjects and exercises for the new class.

It was a only one task, a simple one, one that Twilight though she couldn’t mess up. She has to teach to the class magic tricks without the use of magic, arguing that not every creature had magic and that will be a lesson about friendship, every creature being able to do similar things or something like that. She thought that there was no way she could do something bad with just smoke and mirrors.

She was wrong.

The door crashed down at the arrival of the new teacher. The students quickly turn to see what could cause such damage to the poor wooden door when a blue mare wearing a purple hat and cape appeared before them into an allegory of roses and pre-recorded cheers.

“He-llo! My students! I am your new GREAT and POWERFUL teacher!” a smoke bomb exploded at her feets, ending with the mare standing in the teacher's desk, striking a pose.

All the students stood dumbfold at the movement she just pulled, some of them did look at themselves, while Ocellus was more interested in how this happened instead in what happened. She noticed Principal Twilight jaw almost reaching the floor, while the Counselor hit herself with her hoof so fast, that it ended almost inside her own face.

Ocellus raised a brow, and without a word returned her attention to the showmare.

“The one and only, Trixie!” she jumped down of the desk, the floor full of roses and confetti. The room would be in silence if there wasn’t the sound of the stucked stereo repeating the same two seconds of the pre-recorded cheers, “Any Creature has a question? Trixie is ready for whatever you want to know about Trixie.”

Some of the students were genuinely impressed, others had mixed feelings, and a few could not tell if this was a joke or the Principal had at least give up some of her common sense to the Gods above. Whatever was the case, it raised a lot of questions among the students that they were eagers to ask.

“What class is this?” asked a pony from the last row of chairs.

“This is the ‘Class of Trixie’ of course,” replied the mare flatly.

“And what does that mean? asked another student, a Hippogriff.

“That Trixie will be your teacher and Trixie will teach to all of you the way of Trixie!,” she said while moving her hoof in the air.

“And… What will you teaching us? asked a shy one, almost about to low her claw back into her lap.

“Ahgg, Twilight said something about cards or something. But since I am the ‘GREATEST’ and ‘POWERFULEST’ of unicorns, I will be teaching you the most advanced and complicated of spells that no other teacher could and would never teach you,” she moved her cape along and stroke a pose that cause some of the students to believe her words, not knowing of the true identity of they new teacher. Meanwhile, at the other side of the door, Starlight was trying to stop Twilight from fly inside and get Trixie out of it while muffling her screams with a magic soundproof bubble to keep away those words from the young and innocent minds of their students.

Starlight whispered, trying to not be heard by the students, “Twilight, please! Stop! I will talk with her! Just calm down!” A muffled sound came out from Twilight’s mouth, her eyes spitting fire and lighting while Starlight was completely ignoring the silence bubble, “I will take that as an ‘okey’ then, be right back,” Starlight carefully opened the door, caring that no one could see Twilight’s attempts to enter the classroom.

“Oh, Starlight! You came at last!” said Trixie with a cheerful smile.

“Hi, Trixie,” Starlight lift up a hoof up to her head, not knowing how to speak with her. She know that Trixie could be a little reckless, but when is time to talk with her, Starlight never had the strength to say no to that smile and those bright eyes of her. She tried to find a way to tell her what Twilight said, until she recalled what Trixie just said, “at last!? Was you waiting for me?” she asked, rapidly changing her preoccupation with confusion.

“Of course, you silly filly, you are Trixie´s GREATEST assistant after all. How else do you think I could teach to this creatures the power of Trixie!”

“But, that’s exactly why I came here, to tell you that—“

“I know, I know you are shy, my dear assistant, but this is for the best, for the students, and more importantly, for me. Trixie! So, prepare the ‘Cage of Doom!’ my lovely assistant!”

“But… I—“ she replied, but her decision were crushed in an instant by those enemies she didn’t account for. Her eyes. Her purple puppy eyes. Her innocent smile. It was literally like having a puppy, and no creature could say ‘no’ to a puppy, “fine… But just one trick, okey!? If Twilight see us doing this things in her School, or worse, if Neighsay found this, the School will close, and Twilight will be mad at me, and I will be mad at you, and you know what that means, Trixie,” she replied firmly, yet kind.

Trixie gulped, remembering the last time she made Starlight mad, she made her apologise to everypony in the town for what she did that time, and nothing, nothing was worse punishment than that two words for her. “Fine…” she replied in complete defeat, “but Trixie wants the canon.”

“Are you sure? I always had the canon, it could—“

“The Great and Powerful Trixie will have her canon!” she demanded while waving her cape.

“Okey, fine… Just… Be careful… Okey? Twilight already took twenty four canons from Pinkie Pie… Seven of them were mini cannons.”

“Twenty Four!?” yelled the whole classroom, Trixie included.

“Well, yeah? No one knows from where she gets them. I mean, have you seen a canon seller here in Ponyville?” said Starlight with an arched brow.

Again, all the creatures, including the teacher, shaked their heads at the same time. “Do you know?” asked Trixie a moment after, the whole class nodding, like sharing the same thought.

“Well…” her eyes darted from side to side as she came closer to the blue mare’s ear. “Maud told me once, but, believe me… You don’t want to know,” she said, her voice shaking and her hoof trembling.

“What are you…” Trixie replied. Looking Starlight in their eyes. Yet, the only thing she saw was her friend shaking her head and with her pupils shrinked, “Okey… Trixie have no more questions,” said Trixie, her pupil’s size now the same as her friend. “Let’s… Let’s start this show, shall we? Assistant?”

“Fine, fine… I be right back… Just, try to act like a teacher for Twilight while I return, okey?” Starlight began to walk to the door, the moment she opened it, Twilight was there with her face and ear as close at the door as she could. Reacting in surprise at the sudden loss of the door’s hold.

“Trixie makes no promises!” she replied, the door closing an instant after.

“Starlight…” Twilight stood awestruck with a emotionless face as her precious school was being showered by dozens of Pegasi with water in order to extinguish the green and purple fire that spread all over the place and onto her castle, “What happened?” she said, in an amused tone.

“Well~” Starlight was interrupted by a crashing pillar of wood accompanied with the scream of a dozen of fireponies claiming for the name of one of them, “do you remember the ‘Cage of Doom’?”.

“Yes. Yes I do…” her eyes glimmering with the fire of her former school.

“Well—“

From between the smoke, a ball of fire flight through the sky and landed just in front of the two mares, causing Starlight to shriek, but not Twilight. She stood in there, just watching her whole hopes and dreams enveloped on fire and bringed down to ashes, again.

The ball of fire spitted out a bunch of feathers, crisped fabric, and a candle before she wave rapidly her purple hat in order to extinguish the fire on it. “Trixie forgot to carry the one… I guess… That might be Trixie’s fault. But Trixie is not sure.” Trixie recovered her teared cape from below the crashed door of the school and wear it like if nothing had happened. “I think it was the crocodile fault,” Trixie hummed.

“Crocodile…” Repeated Twilight in a soft and unamused tone.

“No, it has to be Starlight’s fault, not Trixie, that’s obvious, Trixie makes no mistakes after all!” Trixie walked to the side of her friend and extinguished a small fire on her mane, “Did you put the exact amount of powder that I gave you? Starlight.”

“What, but I—… Yeah, I did it. Exactly five kilograms,” replied Starlight, trying to find another unnoticed fire on her fur.

“Five kilograms…” Repeated Twilight. Her eyes fixed on the white smoke coming from what once were a great and beautiful school.

“It was your fault, Trixie. I told you I had to have the cannon! Your magic isn’t enough to control the Element of Magic!”

“The Element of Magic…” Repeated Twilight. Soulless.

Trixie gasped. “It might be true, but Trixie will not accept that an old stone tell Trixie what Trixie can do,” she said, offended.

“That’s why the wormhole exploded! Gosh… I told you that you has to encapsulate the element so it will not entangle with the space and time!” Starlight sat abruptly on her haunches, rubbing her head while she was watching at the enormous ring of fire on the sky.

“Wormhole…” Twilight’s eye twitched.

“Your maths were all wrong.” said Trixie, unamused.

“It was your math!” replied Starlight, walking to a piece of wood in front of her that use to be a chair.

Trixie walked along with her friend. Her cape and hat had some green aura at some parts as she began to walk closer to the former building. “Trixie’s math is never wrong! Universe’s math has to be wrong.”

“Oh, come on!” She began to move pieces of wood from the dirt “Twilight! Say something!” she exclaimed, without even looking at her.

“Sure… I… Whatever you say, Starlight… I trust you…” she replied, her eyes fixed on the now black land that were her dreams and legacy.

“See! She is with me, I told you that I should have the cannon,” Starlight took from the ashes a metal piece that should have the school emblem. It was now all black and distorted, but it was clearly the same.

“Na-ah, Trixie always have the canon,” she said as she found the center of the emblem and give it to Starlight.

Starlight took the emblem and used her magic to keep the metal plate and the formerly golden emblem together. “It was the first time you had it!”

“Trixie doesn’t have first times. She have all the times!”

“That doesn’t make any sense it—“

The sound of both mare’s hooves walking far from the former school began to fade as their voices seemed further away, leaving behind them only a Princess, a distorted emblem, and a pile of ashes. The group of fireponies finally ended up their jobs and approached the poor Twilight with something between their hooves.

“This is the only thing that survived, your majesty. We’re sorry,” he said a piece of metal with Twilight’s name on it fall onto the floor. After that, the squad did fly away, sadness and pettiness over their faces, and a lot of empty buckets.

A couple of seconds passed until a shriek caused all the ponies nearby to cover their ears to avoid permanent damage because of the high pitch.

“WHAT THE HAY!

“I told you she will be mad,” said Starlight while picking a card with her magic.

“It was not Trixie’s fault,” she replied. Picking another one across the bars of a huge cage she was now in.

“Do you have any four?” she asked to a creature on a cage on the other side.

A gigantic creature, half bear and half bug did only move his head from side to side, calling for a negative as he pointed to his cards and signaled the number ‘two’.

Starlight sighed. A card flying from her hooves into the creature claws. “Well, I think he wins again,” she said as she dropped her cards into her cage’s floor, “how much time left until we can get out?”

“If Trixie’s math is right. And it always is. We can play another three hundred matches,” Trixie said as she turn down a sand clock that measured two minutes.

“Great…” replied Starlight with a less than happy tune. “Do you have a four?” she said. Waiting for the Bugbear response.

After that. She lose two hundred and ninety eight matches.

Author's Note

Well. I wrote this like after Season 8 premiere, I just made some changes and decided to upload it just like that. So…

Anyway, if you find any mistake (and you will) please let me know. I’ll be happy to correct any of them, any recomendation or anything is well recieved (It's my first comedy) and well… Thanks for reading. hehe.

See you later. :twilightsmile: