A Dire Situation

by Damien Darkside

Rating: mature
Tags: Profanity, Princess Celestia, Human, Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Second Person, Comedy, Other, Romance, Porn, Sex
Length: 9054

You have to have sex with Celestia in order to save your soul. This is obviously Twilight's fault.

A demon wants to make a deal with you. You have to have sex with Celestia or he will take your soul. This wouldn't be a huge problem, but you are also extremely attracted to the princess. You have to now make a decision, to either lose your soul or tell Celestia how you feel about her.

And her butt.

This is obviously Twilight's fault.

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Contains: Anal, of course.

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Thanks to Fedairkid for editing!

Cover art by Suikuzu

Featured on September 6 2018! Thanks everyone! 20 minutes is a new record for me.

Published 2018-09-06 18:00:01 UTC
Last updated 2018-09-06 18:00:01 UTC

Getting to the Bottom of the Issue

“Celestia! I need to stick it in your butt or I’m gonna die.”

Total silence took hold of the room. Everypony’s eyes were fixated on you, mouths agape and ears perked up. It was as if time itself stopped moving.

After a few seconds, all of the ponies in the room slowly turned towards their princess to hear her response. There were a lot of ponies as well.

Celestia sat on her throne in front of an eighty year old mare who was presumably speaking to her before you kicked the door open. With refined grace, she used her hoof to close the mouth of said senior before the old mare’s teeth fell out.

“I assume by ‘stick it in my butt’, you are implying that you must ‘park it in my back door’ or you will surely perish?” Celestia asked calmly.

It was only now that you realized what you did. Barging into Day Court and proclaiming that you must fuck Celestia in the ass.. You always have the best plans. Go you. Gold star. Your father would be so proud of you.

Roll with it.

“Yes Princess, by ‘parking it in your back door’ I imply that I have to stick my raging rocket into your second sunny socket or I’ll kick the bucket. The one place where the sun does indeed not shine.” You reply.

“Truly?” She asked you with her eyebrow raised.

“Yeah uh… that’s the long and short of it.” You admit as everyone started murmuring.

One of the pony guards snapped out of her stupor and shook her cute tiny spear at you. “H-how DARE you make a mockery of this royal court! I’ll have you sent to the dungeo-”

“I believe that decision is mine to make, and we will have none of that now. Everypony, Day Court is adjourned for the rest of the afternoon as I sort this business out. Everypony out, including the guards.” Celestia spoke to the court as she kept eye contact with you.

Within thirty seconds, all ponies, a few minotaurs and one griffon left through side doors and the door behind you. The glances you received from them varied between angry, amused or shocked. Mostly shocked though. That poor granny will probably need a doctor.

“Right, so obviously you are going to explain yourself right now. This should be way more interesting than Day Court.” The Solar Monarch said as she made pillows appear on the throne and tossed one at you.

You paused for a second as you caught the large, plush, and probably five thousand bit pillow. Obviously this was all Twilight’s fault, but you had to decide whether to tell her the entire story or not. Looking up at Celestia’s beautiful eyes you wanted to lie, to tell her something that wouldn’t be so embarrassing for you. However you knew the mare, and you knew that it was the best idea to tell the whole truth. She would know if you didn’t anyway.

“It’s Twilight’s fault.”

Celestia closed her eyes and took a deep breath, then exhaled very loudly. You weren’t sure if she was annoyed at Twilight or you, but considering you don’t start an apocalypse every week, it was most certainly at her student.

“Yes, I figured my former student would have some part in this. Please tell me the full story.”

You placed the comfy cushion on the floor and sat on it as a tray of fruit was also summoned between the two of you. “Well it all started this morning, I was sitting down reading a book…”

===000===

Reading was one of the only things you could actually do in Ponyville on the regular. There wasn’t any television, internet was about a hundred years from being invented, and the only shitposting you could do was sitting down on the toilet writing your own thoughts to yourself. All in all it was a pretty slow place, with reading taking up a lot of your time between working.

Of course you did have other things to pass the time with. You’d do some alchemy with Zecora, the zebra in the woods. Sometimes you’d have a nice lunch with Rarity and discuss things around town. A few days in the month you’d help decorate cakes for the Cakes because of your fine finger control. Every two weeks you’d pick up some meat from the Griffon traders that would come through and make some tacos for yourself and Discord.

Discord loved his tacos as much as you did. You never questioned where he got the taco seasonings or the sombrero.

Other times you took trips over to Canterlot. Despite what ponies claimed, the trains were actually pretty cheap. Then again you noticed ponies were pretty loose with their bits. Everypony except Applejack of course. The opportunity to visit the castle and talk to the Princesses was always welcome.

You never addressed them as such though. After spending your first month in Canterlot adjusting to Equestria, you really got to know Celestia and Luna. The two sisters were a bit more mature than most ponies, but always had that playfulness that they hid from most of the castle staff and nobles. Twilight got to see it periodically, but they always seemed more relaxed around you. You just treated them like friends, calling them by their names without honorifics and being extremely casual with them. You actually did piss off some of the nobles by not ‘addressing those above your station’ correctly. Secretly you figured Celestia and Luna enjoyed being around someone who didn’t spend their entire lives seeing them as goddesses, higher beings or just something to be worshipped.

It was a painful decision, but Celestia. Luna, and Twilight all thought it was for the best to spend more time with the general population. So you settled down in Ponyville and started to take oddjobs. After all, you can’t just live off off Celestia’s allowance. Well, you totally could, but even you have some honor as a man. You grew to love Equestria and it’s bright sunny days spent outside.

Today was a lazy rainy day however, and you enjoyed a nice cup of coffee whilst reading fine literature. Soft jazz music played through the lounge as you were reading about how a dragon eviscerated ponies outside of Manehatten a few hundred years ago. Light reading, of course. Twilight’s castle was filled with so many books about so many mystical things you could happily spend the whole day here. After all, a world with talking ponies and magic would be interesting for any human. You were having a great time as well, since the weather was planned here you actually could plan when to have a nice day inside.

You heard hooves run down the halls loud enough that you could hear it over your music. Sighing, you picked up a bookmark with ‘Reading is COOL!’ written on a snowy background and slid it on the page you were enjoying.

The Problematic Pretty Purple Pony Princess of Friendship herself opened the door as she slid into the small study you were resting in.

“I need you, I have something so amazing and interesting. You won’t believe it!” Twilight excitedly declared as you put the book down.

You chuckled. “Of course I don’t believe you Twiggles. You just said you found something interesting and cool.”

The scrunch on Twilight’s face was absolutely adorable. “Hey! I am actually serious this time. I found out a way to summon a bound demon from Tartarus!”

Okay that was actually cool. Twilight was such a powerful unicorn that she could definitely pull a demon from Pony Hell and control it. Still, demons sound like trouble. “So why exactly are we excited about summoning demons?”

Twilight looked at you with an expression that reminded you of your third grade math teacher when you asked a stupid question. “We are excited because Demonology was mostly shut down over a thousand years ago! The only ones alive who communicated with any being from Tartarus is likely Luna herself.”

“Not Celly?”

Twilight shook her head. “No, most sources say that she despised all demons and would banish them back to Tartarus whenever she could.”

“Okay so how do you know that we can summon this one?” You asked as you got up, knowing you are going to be roped into this.

Twilight clapped her hooves together as she lead you to her laboratory. “Well, I was poking around the Royal Archives, the section that only the Princesses and I can get into. There was somewhat of a mess, probably left behind by Luna. Out on a table was a scroll to summon a ‘Subucni’. I read it while I put the other books and scrolls away. The spell actually isn’t hard at all! I also know quite a few failsafes so the demon can’t leave the summoning circle after it is summoned.”

“What can I do to help? Write stuff down?” You suggested. Most of the time you were forced to take notes while Twilight executes some crazy experiment.

Twilight opened up the doors to her lab. “Actually just being a witness is great. You said that your world had its own stories and such about monsters and demons, so you might be able to give some insight. We can even cross-reference with your legends afterwards!”

Twilight used her magic to move some tables and chairs away so she had enough room for the summoning circle. You are still amazed at how many things she could do at once as everything was stacked nice and neatly.

You shrugged as you watched Twilight take some chalk and started drawing runes and circles on the ground. “Sure Twilight, but wouldn’t Starlight be more helpful? That mare can control time, I don’t see how she wouldn’t be more suited for this.”

“She is off with Trixie to Las Pegasus for a few shows. I figured it would be good for her to help Trixie out with her career and keep her in check.” Twilight replied as she looked at the tattered scroll and her drawings.

“So Spike was asking too many questions on why Trixie’s wagon was rocking at two in the morning?” You joked as you picked up one of Twilight’s alchemical books.

Twilight ceased movement as she blushed a deep shade of crimson. “Well, that too. I heard that new relationships can be very… energetic at the start so I decided to give them some space. Also to give me some space as well. The noise kept waking me up.”

With a few more chalk strokes, Twilight stepped back. “Done! Now all I have to do is fuel it with some energy and summon a real-life Subucni!”

“Wait, shouldn’t we tell somebo-”

Twiggles didn’t even let you finish as her excitement got the best of her. Without warning she shot her magic onto the circle. The runes instantly lit up and spun around the center of the circle a few inches off the floor. As far as standard summonings go, this pretty much ran par for the course. Not much different than what you expected one to look like. However you could feel the room heating up, and the energy coming off of the summoning circle so enormous that even you could feel it, magical abilities or not.

The room took on a red hue as a small layer of smoke came up out of the ground. The smell of brimstone and really, really dank weed flowed through the air. Slowly, horns appeared rising from the fog as the Subucni’s form entered your world.

As more of the demon appeared you noticed quite a few things. It was almost human, with a dark red skin tone. The demon was probably several feet tall, and had curved horns that made it obvious that he was from Hell… Tartarus. Whatever. Its arms were bulky and looked like they could easily lift a car, and it had human-like hands. You assumed it was male since the demon didn’t have breasts, but almost a bodybuilder’s physique, with strong pecs and a well-defined set of abs. His skin was red, and so was his fur; his legs looked like they belonged to a goat that took steroids. His goatee was thick and well maintained too, which you thought was weird for a demon to have.

Oh and you guessed it was male since he had a two foot knotted horse cock.

“So mortals.” The Subucni started, and he was grinning way too hard to make the situation comfortable for anyone but him. “For what desires have you summoned me to fulfill?”

“W-what? Y-you can speak Equish?” Twilight squeaked out.

“Of course, as a demon of desire I can speak in any tongue to fulfill my duties.” The Subucni answered.

This was getting weird, and you were really trying not to look at the giant Bad Dragon toy inspiration swinging like a pendulum. Then, as if an actual light bulb went off above you, something really made sense in your mind. Something so blindingly obvious you felt stupid you didn’t figure it out before.

If playing too many old video games taught you anything, it was that Alucard was Dracula spelt backwards…and if that was the case... then that must mean…

“Twilight you fucking summoned an Incubus.” You realized with a groan and a palm to your face.

“Ah! One who knows of our kind. Feel free to call me Mr. Boyd. Tell me, what is it that you desire?” Boyd replied with a grin, which would be less unsettling if his eyes weren’t perfectly white.

“Oh nononono. I am not getting mixed up in this.” You said waving your arms about. “First you ask what you want from me, then you fuck me in the ass with that massive cock of yours for magical energy or some shit. Finally, you’ll suck my soul through your flared tip and I’ll be soul semen for the next unholy abomination you impregnate. Well quite frankly I am not making any deals with you Mister Boyd.”

The demon laughed, which reverberated off the walls and shook you to your very core. “Ah the old ways! Those were fun times. No foolish mortal, we do things differently now. I already know what you want.”

You wanted to leave but something was keeping your feet glued to the floor. Twilight started to use her magic to unsummon the Incubus, but he pointed his finger at her. Suddenly, some goo formed on her horn, making it useless. “Hey! You can’t do tha-” Twilight started before her mouth was magically shut with demonic power.

“Human!” The Incubus yelled. “You will tell me what you desire right now.”

You tried to resist but you couldn’t stop the words from coming out of your mouth. It was like someone else was speaking for you, but saying exactly how you felt and what you wanted most. “I am deeply attracted to Celestia romantically and want to have sex with her. I want to plunge into her so hard and deep that the next pony to pull me out of that divine ass would be crowned as King Arthur. Her body is as beautiful as it is sexy, and I can’t keep my eyes off her flanks when I am in the castle. She is funny, smart, and one of the few ponies who can understand me. Celestia is one of the best things I have met in Equestria apart from Twilight and her friends that makes me feel good about being here. I also really want tacos.”

The summoning room was silent as you made your revelation. You felt the hot wave of embarrassment and shame flow over you. Twilight was looking at you angrily yet blushing deeply. Maybe because you wanted to fuck her mentor and idol in the ass. She calmed down after your last line about her friendship though. Boyd was calmly sipping on a cup of hot coffee that somehow appeared in his hand.

“Wow, that is quite the confession. Usually I get someone talking about how much they want to fuck their mom and get a new sister from her to also impregnate, but that actually was heartfelt. You know what? I am gonna give you a chance. You have to fuck Celestia in the ass today or I’m gonna take your soul.” Boyd stated casually.

“What the fuck? How is that a chance?” You yelled.

“Well normally I just make it happen and I take your soul as payment.” Boyd patted his soft phallus for emphasis. ”However, I think you got a shot so I’m gonna give you a chance to make it happen without me.”

You looked over to Twilight. “And what about her?”

Boyd laughed as turned around to face Twilight, his massive horse dong almost smacking her cherry-red face. “Oh her? She is staying here so you don’t tell anyone about me. Also, she needs to tell me about her desires too…”

The demon laughed maniacally as he stroked the paralyzed purple pony princess with a clawed finger. “Might wanna get going, it’s almost noon.”

“So if I do this, you won’t hurt Twilight?” You said as you went for the door.

“I am not going to hurt Twilight regardless of how this turns out. Just go plow that pony ass. You’ll be glad I did this.” The incubus chuckled as the room filled with more of the noxious pot smoke.

===000===

“So that is pretty much everything apart from me freaking out on the train ride of how I was going to tell you. I decided that you must know everything, regardless of how I feel.” You finished your tale as you ate a strawberry.

Celestia sipped her tea as she thought over your description of the events. “So I have a few questions I hoped you would answer.”

“Go ahead.” You replied, happy that you weren’t just chucked out of the room and onto the moon.

“Is Twilight okay?” She started.

You shrugged, which probably wasn’t the best motion to make considering it was the life of her beloved student. “Honestly I think so. Strangely enough, as far as demons go this one seemed pretty chill. I think he won’t harm her at all.”

“Who is this King Arthur?”

Celestia did enjoy the tales of your world, though you had to make sure that you separated fiction from reality. It was sometimes harder than expected, considering how wireless communications and touch screen tablets seemed as magical to them as levitation was to you.

“Oh him? We have plenty of stories about him, pretty much to the point where we actually don’t know if he really existed or not. Either way, there are two stories on how he became king, both about him claiming a sword named Excalibur. One is where some lady in a lake gave him the sword, which I think is kind of boring. The other one is how Excalibur was stuck in a boulder, and only the person worthy of becoming the next King of England could pull it out.”

Celestia grinned mischievously as she set her teacup and saucer down on the table. “So if you are able to pull your cock from my tight flanks you’ll be the next King of Equestria? Your words if I recall.”

You chuckled as you finished off a particularly juicy slice of pineapple. “Well, I said someone else would have to pull me out, but if that is how monarchy is decided around here I’ll be able to save my soul and become royalty myself.”

Celestia simply smiled at you and you instantly recognized it as one of her ‘I’m thinking of what to say next’ faces. During your first few weeks in Equestria you spent a considerable amount of time near her. You could always tell when one of her more diplomatic ‘masks’ was on. Maybe it was because ponies were subtly different than humans in ways that you can’t explain. Perhaps the reason was that you were exposed to so many politicians on the news you knew when bullshit was going to spout out of their mouths. Either way, you decided to say something about it.

“Hey Celly. I’m not one of your nobles or one of your advisors. Fuckin’ spill it you white flanked cutie.” Not the ideal way to speak with a princess you need to have buttsex with, but you perceived that you were in a hole so deep that you could knock on Mr. Boyd’s door in Tartarus.

Might as well keep going.

Fortunately that got Celestia to try and stifle her ridiculously cute giggle in her golden-clad hoof. “My, my, my. It definitely is apparent that you are not one of my nobles. Then again, you aren’t a pony either. Now is what you said to Mr. Boyd true? That you find me attractive?”

You took a sip of the tea, “Celestia, if I can make you laugh like that once a day for the rest of my life, I’d consider myself a lucky man.”

Celestia simply smiled and shook her head. Her ethereal hair catching the sunlight coming in through the open windows perfectly captured her beauty. It wasn’t the kind of beauty that blew you away and left you feeling breathless, but left you with a smile on your face knowing you saw it in that moment. Celestia filled you with a comforting warmth that made you feel content and happy.

“If I could simply just have you, in my life, exactly the way you are, I’d consider myself a lucky mare.” Celestia countered.

There was no falseness behind her words. She wasn’t putting on an act. No political mask to give a false sense of security. This wasn’t Princess Celestia, it was just Celestia.

“Well, I can at least give you that.” You reply, smiling as you place the empty tea cup down.

Celestia got off her throne and walked over to the side door, swaying her flank and giving you quite an eyeful. “Then how about you follow me to my chambers? We can see about getting rid of your little soul problem.”

“As you wish.” You reply as you follow after her.

The trip up to Celestia’s room was one of the most magical experiences of your life. Which,considering you were in a land of mythical beasts and real magic, was saying a lot. Celestia and you would be giggling as you chased her through a few of the hallways, only to stop and pretend to be formal when a maid or guard were present. As soon as you two were in the clear the playful princess would slap you with her tail and run ahead of you.

There was this spark of energy between you two that took you back to being an awkward teen about to lose his virginity. The anticipation of knowing that you were going to get laid, mixed with the fear of completely fucking it up. You didn’t even feel this awkward when you first had sex with a pony. Then again, Berry Punch did get you completely smashed that night.

Come to think of it, a drink would be really good right about now.

Both of you approached the door to Celestia’s bedroom. The guards nodded to their ruler, who was doing her best to keep composed. She was doing a pretty good job at it, but the edges of her smile were shaking, dangerously close to breaking out into another fit of giggles. Still, her smile was wide and genuine, not the facade she put on during day court.
The door closed behind you two as you looked around the room to see if anything changed since your last visit.

Celestia’s room was quite simple, yet quite obviously made for a princess. A large fireplace was to your right and flooded the room with warmth. In front of it were two big, plush pillows to sit on and a desk full of food and papers. Many a night was spent right there when you first arrived in Equestria, talking to Celestia. About your world and about hers, about the differences and similarities.. A light breeze caused the papers to flutter a bit in the breeze a bit. The balcony door was open, allowing access for the outside air. The balcony was where Celestia raised and lowered the sun. You’ve only witnessed it a few times, but it was still one of the most powerful things you have seen in your life. Maybe it was because you knew exactly what she was moving in the sky, and she was defying everything you knew about physics.

Well they said laws were meant to be broken.

The room was filled with a ticking noise, caused by the steadily swinging pendulum of a grandfather clock. The rest of the room was filled mostly with cabinets and drawers, presumably for clothes. You’ve never seen Celestia open any of them, so you don’t know if she has a panty drawer. Meaning unlike some of the maids, she was never a potential target for a panty raid.
Well maybe after tonight she might be. She might be a kinky bitch, you never know.

One of the mysterious cabinets opened, and a bottle of amber liquid and two small glasses floated over to you two. At least one of your questions was solved. “Now I’d have to admit, this is making me as nervous as a schoolfilly. I’m going to need a quick drink to calm down my nerves. Are you interested?” Celestia asked as she sat down on a cushion, pouring herself a small amount in her glass.

Pony alcohol was actually pretty weak compared to what you had back on Earth. Most likely since they were smaller they couldn’t hold their liquor. So far, only Berry Punch managed to get you hammered.. “How strong is it?”

Celestia brought the bottle closer to read the label. “It’s an alcohol from the Zebras. One of their ambassadors gifted it to me when he visited a month ago. I can’t remember what he called it, but it packs a punch. I think it’s fifty proof.”

“Celly, that’s probably a liqueur, where I come from it’s at least twenty eight percent alcohol. This is less than that. Hell I used to drink a rum that was hundred proof. I’ll take a double.” You reply as you take a glass out of her magical grasp.

Celestia looked at you slightly nervously, before realizing you were an adult who knew how much you can take. “Well, if this works out you’ll be able to take these bottles. I keep collecting them but rarely drink any of it since I’ll get sauced after just a few drinks.”

You smiled at Celestia’s giggling as she poured you a decent amount of booze. “I wouldn’t complain at all. Do we sip this or slide it on down?”

Celestia looked at the bottle as if it was going to give her some answers. “Honestly? I have no idea. However I am just going to swallow it as fast as I can to get it over with so I can relax.”

You shrugged in response. “Works for me? Should we have a toast?”

Celestia’s eyes furrowed as she thought. “How about ‘to making the best out of a dire situation’?”

“To making the best out of a dire situation!”

You both tilted back and drank the liquid down. Immediately the low burn of alcohol hit your mouth as a sweet and spiced rum-like taste flooded your senses. You couldn’t really identify what exactly was in the drink. Though with how Equestria was, they would certainly be using different ingredients. You made a mental note to get the bottle afterwards and savour the taste next time. It was exquisitely good, even if it didn’t punch you like Earth rum did.

Celestia still coughed a bit as she set her glass down. “I still can’t fathom how you can stand it. Sure it tastes divine, but that burn. Way too harsh for me, wine is much more tolerable.”

You waved her concerns off. “Ah we’ll make a drinker out of you yet Celly belly.”

Celestia raised an eyebrow. “Celly belly?”

“It rhymed. Humans do that sometimes.” You say as you hastily defend yourself from her judgement.

She simply smiled at your quick pet name for her. “I think it is cute, just don’t bring it up in front of Luna or she won’t let me live it down.”

There was a pause in the conversation as you both realized what you were here for. “Now quite honestly I don’t know the human traditions or rituals for mating. I apologize if I am making this awkward.” Celestia commented as she looked at you, clearly nervous.

You shook your head. “Nah, we don’t have anything special. I am quite certain you’ll find that we have a lot in common when it comes down to it. Hell, if anything I’m making it awkward by having to ask you to do anal.”

Celestia blushed as she looked to the side sheeply. “Yes, about that issue…”

“Celestia, you have aggressively cuddled someone right?”

“Of course I have.” Celestia waved her hoof at your concern. “Why did you call it aggressive cuddling?”

“Well I would have considered asking for a bit of ‘how’s your father’ but figured that you wouldn't get it. Then I wanted to make sure you’ve had a banana tossed into your fruit salad but that was a bit too normal for this world, and also didn’t apply to anal.”

“Well at least you didn’t say that you were going to clean my cobwebs with your womb broom.” Celestia giggled as she said it, almost not believing the words coming from her own mouth. “But alas, I have not ‘slid the slimy sausage into my puckered ponut’ if my improvised slang is up to par. I try to keep up as to not appear too old.”

Your eyes widened in realization. “Wait, you’ve never had anal sex? Like, we talking penis in butt or not even playing at all?”

Celestia’s face glowed a deeper shade of red. “I am afraid that my last companion was maybe fifty years ago. Prior to that, either nopony has thought of such a style of intercourse or they kept me blissfully unaware of it. I’ve heard of it in recent times out of curiosity and reading a few magazines catered to mares.”

You nodded in understanding. “Well okay. That's completely fine.”

“Really? I don’t want to disappoint you by not being prepared or knowing what I am do-” Celestia was cut off as you moved to her and pressed your lips to hers.

Celestia squeaked in shock, then immediately relaxed and melted into the kiss. You broke apart after about ten seconds. “Anyone ever tell you that you worry too much?”

“My assistant mentions it on a weekly basis.” Celestia’s voice was low and her breathing was erratic. “I trust you know what you are doing?”

“Well I know the basics for humans, so we will see if ponies are the same.” You reassured her before placing your hand under her chin and stroking her neck.

As you brought your lips together again, Celestia’s breath hitched while your hand scratched under her chin and lightly behind her ears. It was funny, you stroked her as if she was a pet but kissed her with as much passion as you would for a human.

You started to push the princess back slowly, until the two of you stood in front of her expansive bed. One push later, you were falling onto it with Celestia still clinging to your lips like her life depended on it.

You decided to take the lead, placing yourself on top of the Sun Princess as she laid herself on her back. Her forehooves here all over your body, one either pressing against your chest or both rubbing all over your back .Your hands were busy as well, running your fingers through her magical hair or scratching at her neck. Feeling a tugging on your shirt, you leaned back up, straddling Celestia as she took off your shirt, belt, and eventually your pants with her golden magical glow. You were left only in your boxers as she looked over your mostly naked body for the first time. Her expression made clear that she appreciated the sight.

“Working out at Applejack’s farm I see.” Celestia complimented.

“Just got over harvest season, glad to see you like the progress I’ve made.” You reply as you get back to kissing her, enjoying the feeling of her soft fur on your bare chest.

You prodded her lips with your tongue. She opened her mouth up to your exploration as you slid yours along hers. Celly apparently didn’t know what french kissing was but definitely adapted quickly. Her pleasured moans of approval got your heart racing as you tasted each other for the first time.

Your hand slowly moved from her neck down to her barrel, scratching her all the way. She made no signs of disapproval and seemed to be enjoying the entire experience as both of your arousals spiked. Your length was hard and pressed against Celestia, only held back by your boxers. Meanwhile, her arousal filled the room with a strong scent of vanilla.

Your hands travelled further south, scratching here and there. You experimented a little, learning what made Celestia giggle, twitch, or gasp in surprise between kisses. You gave your partner one quick little peck on the lips before nibbling on her neck.

“Mmmm… you are spoiling me dear”, Celestia softly spoke as her hoof lightly ran through your hair. “Aren’t we supposed to save your soul?”

You shrugged, looking at the grandfather clock, noticing you had two hours before midnight. “Tia, we got all night. I don’t know how stallions are, but personally I like some foreplay.”

“Then have your way with me.” Celestia used her magic to put a pillow under her head. “I cannot wait to see, and especially feel what you have in mind.”

You decided that you’ve given her enough gentle treatment and bit down harder on her neck. The arm that wasn’t exploring Celestia’s body was wrapped around her neck as your lover gripped you tightly in her forelegs. You bit and sucked through her white fur, hoping that it would give her a small mark like it does on human skin. On the final and harder bite, your hands met her firm breasts between her legs and squeezed roughly.

“Hnnng!” Celestia grit her teeth and arched her back as her fluids pattered the bed.

You pulled back off Tia a little. Celestia’s eyes were unfocused and glazed over.

“D-did I just make you cum?”

Celestia nodded slowly “I appear to be a bit more sensitive than I thought. It wasn’t huge mind you, but it certainly was... pleasurable.”

“Oh good, because I am not done yet.” You said as you slid down her body, before placing yourself between her legs.

Celestia seemed embarrassed as you looked at her, with her wings splayed out beneath her, forelegs pressed to her chest and hind legs wide open, she left nothing to imagination. You’ve spent enough time in horseland to know what pony pussy looked like, but the clear pink folds were enticing regardless. Her clitoris rapidly exposed itself from her folds, juices running from her slit every time it poked out.

“Uhhh…everything okay? I know I’m not a human female, bu-”

You cut Celestia off as you bent down and gave her a lick from the base of her folds upwards. Refraining from slipping your tongue in just yet, you kept teasing her slowly until her clit poked out. From there you gave a sharp and quick lick on her exposed button before smugly looking back at Celestia. “Everything’s fine. I was just enjoying the view.”

Celetia closed her eyes and relaxed. “Well then, don’t let me stop you from enjoying me to your heart’s content.”

You didn’t bother to answer with words, deciding to move your fingers to each side of her soft lower lips instead. Spreading her open, Celestia’s sex was dripping with arousal. The heady scent of vanilla clouded your mind and made your heart thump in your ears. With Celestia’s pussy wide open, you slipped your tongue inside of her.

Warm juices ran over your tongue as you entered. It was way more substantial than any woman, or pony, you’ve ever been with, with a slicker consistency as well. Tia’s flavour spread over your tongue, giving you the taste of warm vanilla cream cheese frosting of all things. It might have been from all the cake she eats, but you certainly weren’t complaining.

The next few minutes were spent indulging in that taste. Bringing her closer and closer to the edge of another orgasm, before retreating to play with her swollen lips. All the while kneading her amazing ass with your hands as her moans reverberated around the room.

However, if you wanted to penetrate her royal rear you needed her more relaxed. You toyed with her for a few more second before her clit winked out of her once more. When it did, you placed your lips on it and sucked, making sure it couldn’t retract again. You lavished her with your tongue as your fingers gripped her flanks hard. Celestia squealed in ecstasy as she was finally granted relief. A flood of thicker, stronger juices squirted from her sex, coating your face in marecum. Her flanks trembled as your attack went on, her pussy becoming a veritable fountain of vanilla arousal as you savoured every drop.

Celestia finally calmed down after you released her button from your mouth. Your face was wet from the nose down and so was the top of your chest. Celestia’s buns were soaked in her slightly sticky orgasm and she panted heavily as you backed off slightly.

You quicky made up how you were going to make this work in your head as you saw Sunbutt’s perfect puckered plothole pleasantly pulsing to her clit winks. “Just relax Celly, I’m gonna use my fingers to get you nice and loose before I pound your pretty plot, alright?” You decided to stay your casual self in hopes it’d calm her.

It seemed to work, as Celestia pleasantly sighed. “I trust you, just be gentle.”

First you slid your middle finger deep into her soaked sex to lubricate it. Her juices slick and almost perfect to use as lube. You gently circled her ponut before resting your fingertip at her bottom entrance. Surprising you, your finger slid into her without much resistance. Celestia definitely felt it however as she tensed up and lightly gripped your finger.

“Oh dear, that’s definitely a new sensation.” Celestia commented as you worked your finger inside of her.

Your knuckles tapped against her ass as your finger was firmly inside of her all the way. “A good sensation I hope?”

“Y-yes definitely, more please.” Celestia’s horn lit up and using her magic, she spread her gorgeous flanks more to give you even easier access to her.

Shrugging to yourself, you lubed up a second finger in her pussy before placing it at Tia’s plothole. There was a bit more resistance this time, and you knew you’d have to get her used to this before you could use a third finger, and eventually your own cock.

Celestia actually seemed to be enjoying it, if the noises she was making were any indication. When you moved your fingers she would slightly moan in pleasure, and when you curled your fingers her back would arch off the bed slightly. Either pony ponuts were actually incredibly sensitive, or Celestia was a secret anal slut and you were bringing it to light.

She almost came when you slipped the third finger inside of her.

After a few more minutes of her twitching and gyrating on your triple digit penetration, you decided she was loose enough for the real thing. She whimpered in disappointment as you pulled your fingers out of her slightly gaping behind. Celestia looked like she was about to ask you why you stopped, but then she noticed your erection as you stood up.

You leaned down and placed your length against her wet sex. You needed to be nice and slick to fit inside of her and Celly’s dripping wet cunt was more than willing to help you with that. You ground your shaft against her lips, her clit coming out to wink against your member. Celestia moaned as you grazed her love bud.

“Oh by the sun, you are definitely going to give me a nice hard proper rutting next time we have a moment. ” Celestia spoke with her eyes closed, enjoying the sensations you were sending through her.

You moved up to kiss her, your cock sliding in between her teats. “Sounds like a date.”

You slid down her soft chest before aiming your tip a bit lower. “Slide in slowly or balls deep right away to get it over with?”

“The tension is killing me dear. Your head is pointed more than a stallion’s. I think you should slide right in. Go for it, I’m a big mare.” Celestia suggested.

You moved your hands to her hips, adjusting your hips until your cockhead was piercing the tight ponut in front of you. Taking a deep breath, you thrust forward, sinking your cock into her depths as your hips slammed into Tia’s large flanks.

Three sensations rocked your world at the same time. The first was how hot and tight Celestia was, which was saying something considering she was the Sun Princess. Secondly, was her tight ponut gripping the base of your cock. It was so tight it almost made your eyes roll into the back of your head. Finally, was the splash of mare juices of the mare you loved as you blew a fuse in her brain with an earth shattering orgasm.

“Oh holy f-fucking shit, Celly y-you okay?” Words stuttered out of your mouth as the tight ring of her anus flexing on your shaft sent a shock through you.

“B-b-bu-buck-k” Celestia could barely speak as her body tensed up. “Shug-gg-guhhhhh”

Welp, you broke her.

Waiting for a few moments while Celestia got herself back together, you slowly slid in and out of her. At least as much as her backdoor allowed. Celestia eventually relaxed enough for your dick to move freely. Soon after her body followed, rocking back and forth instead of being painfully stiff.

She opened her eyes until they were half-lidded. “Mmmmaybe we should have taken that a bit slower.” She chuckled.

You cracked a smile, “Yeah, but you’re a big mare.”

Celestia’s hind legs did their best to wrap around you lightly, encouraging you to move a bit faster as she moved with you. “I’m your big mare, and you’re my human.”

“Wouldn’t have it any other way.” You both gazed at each other's eyes, and you almost got lost in her magenta orbs. “You ready for more?”

You felt her squeeze your shaft. “Yes. How long do humans last anyways?”

You straightened your back and just gave her a devilish smile. “Oh d-d-dear!” Celestia exclaimed as you plundered her depths again.

The room was filled with slapping sounds as you hammered into Celestia’s butt. Your balls colliding with the base of her dock as you make sure she feels you hilt in her every time. Sweat started to coat your body as the Sun Princess was reduced to nothing more than gasps, moans and spouting gibberish.

You slid Celestia onto her side, showing off the bright sun on her flank. Gripping her dock you pulled on it, immediately arching Celestia’s back and making her cum again as her muscles contracted around your cock. Even if Boyd was to take your soul after this, it was completely worth it. Celestia didn’t tire, or complain, she just took your merciless assfucking with a grin on her face and a clench of her cheeks.

You were getting close, and you knew it. Your thrusting was getting more erratic, there was that ever-so-familiar tightening of your balls and your breathing was shallow. You weren’t going to pull out either. Celestia was coming out of this with you thoroughly claiming her butt. That meant you were leaving her with a well fucked ponut dripping with your seed. You just needed one last push before you could nut.

You raised your hand, and slapped Celestia hard across her huge ass, leaving a red handprint. Celestia cried out in pleasure as she came one last time, her juices missing you and splashing on the floor. The sudden grip sending you over the edge as you bury yourself into her ass. You cried out Celestia’s name as you fired rope after rope of cum deep inside her body. Stars started to appear in your clenched eyes as you finished draining your balls into the monarch below you.

Your orgasm was subsiding when you felt your legs get shaky, and you pulled out of her with a wet pop before collapsing beside her. You would have loved to see your seed dripping out of her now undoubtedly-gaping ponut, but alas you were too tired to check out your handiwork. You’d have to settle for next time to see how badly you brutalized her backdoor. “Oh, my legs hurt.” You said as you shimmied to Celestia’s back to spoon her.

Celestia moved back a bit to properly be the little spoon. “Mmmmm. I can’t feel my lower half. I won’t be able to sit on my throne for days.”

You nuzzled your face into her neck and flowing hair, which -strangely enough- didn’t feel like it was moving now that you were face deep in it. “Worth it though?”

“Yesssss”, Celestia replied as she relaxed against you. “I haven’t been rutted like that for centuries. I’m afraid I didn’t contribute much to the performance though.”

“Don’t worry about it, I am more than happy to put in the work.” You used an arm to prop yourself up and looked down on your favourite mare. “Thanks Celly, for saving my life and giving me the best sex I’ve ever had.”

Celestia turned her head to look at you, with a smile on her face and a twinkle in her magenta eyes. She leaned forward and bit and kissed you, nice and short but full of affection. “Anytime my little human. Now kindly please shut up and let’s get some sleep before I have to raise the sun.”

You chuckled as you laid back down on the bed, Celly pulling the covers over you as you both fell asleep while cuddled together.

---===OOO===---

The next morning was quite pleasant. After raising the sun, you two got into the shower and joked about as you washed off. Luckily her shower was massive, one of the perks of ruling the country. Celestia used a spell to clean most of the dried fluids all over the bed and floor.

The smell went away as you two showered together.. The two of you were warmed by the morning sun as you ate fruits, muffins and drank coffee. Celestia of course laid down on her side, since she wasn’t able to sit very well.

“So how are we going to make this work Celly? We just up and out ourselves as a couple?” You asked as you snacked on a cantaloupe.

Celestia took a deep sip of her tea, which you knew was her way of delaying the answer so she could think of one. “That might be a problem considering your entrance yesterday. I’d say a more subtle approach might be in order.”

“I’m all ears.”

“Well I got Sundays off from most duties. I could meet you at your house and we could spend the day together. Sometimes you can come over here and spend some nights as well. Honestly, after Day Court is finished I usually only have some light paperwork due until dinner and I have free time after that”, Celestia mused. “Luna will be happy that I finally got myself a new coltfriend.”

She said coltfriend, that means you’re a couple in your books. Not like you can declare it on Facebook to truly make it official. “I could always cook you dinner one of these days too you know.”

Celestia looked up at you. “You know how to cook?”

You shrugged. “Well not as well as your cooks who have trained for life but I can make a few dishes.”

Celestia nodded and smiled. “I would absolutely love that, I’m sure you’d do a fine job.”

“What about the nobles and such? Are they going to take it well?”

Celestia scrunched her nose in thought. “You know what? Buck the nobles.”

You gave a good laugh at that. “Hey Celly, try saying it with an ‘f’ instead of a ‘b’. Fuck. Fuck the nobles. Really put emphasis on the ‘f’ too.”

“FUCK THE NOBLES!” Celestia bellowed with her foreleg out, as if commanding. “Oh wow, that is way more satisfying. I probably shouldn’t have said that so loud though. The guards might have heard us.”

“We can tell them that it is the alternate way of swearing. Tell them that it’s the clean way to say ‘buck’ or something. They will buy it if you tell them.”

You were about to speak again when there was a loud popping sound behind the two of you. The smell of that sweet sticky icky hit your nostrils as you realized who it was. “Hey Boyd, you got pants on this time?”

You turned around. He was not wearing pants.

“Well hello to you too! I’m just checking up on you to see if you were able to complete that task I gave you. Considering how Celestia isn’t on her butt I’d say mission accomplished, eh?” Boyd stated with his hands on his hips, satisfied with himself.

“What happened to Twilight?” Celestia demanded as Boyd levitated a strawberry into his mouth.

He swallowed the fruit without even chewing. “Oh her? We spent the night going over formulas and magical theory. It’s been centuries since I’ve been able to speak to another person so highly educated.”

You and Celestia relaxed a little knowing Twilight came to no harm. Boyd spoke once again, “Oh and I gave her about twenty orgasms before she passed out in her bed twitching. Don’t worry, she’ll be fine. Maybe a little dehydrated, but fine.”

Celestia just rolled her eyes, clearly not awake enough for this shit. You turned to the demon, “So, we are done here?”

“Yup, just making sure you did your job. You two have a good one. We’re having a party on the Icon of Sin tonight in the Necropolis. I’d invite you two but… yeah. Not really a thing for humans and ponies if you catch my drift. Anywho, peace bitches!”

In a puff of smoke, he was gone.

“I’m so going to give Twilight the biggest lecture of her life.” You and Celestia said at the same time before giggling and giving each other a kiss.

All in all, not bad for a deal with a devil.

Author's Note

Special thanks again to Fedairkid. This story wouldn't have been as good as it is without him.

Of course drop a comment, I always read through them all.

Check me out on stream though, and tell me how much I suck.

Bonus: The Conspiracy

Luna smiled as she walked through the Necropolis. With Boyd beside her, none of the demons posed a threat. Even with the undead possessed souls of the damned wandering about, it actually was a good party. Luna politely refused a goblet made from a skull filled with the blood of virgins from Boyd.

“So, seems like everything went as planned. Your sister got laid, and got a new lover.” Boyd spoke while AC/DC played in the background.

“Yes, so it seems. The plan worked out quite well, great job.” Luna complimented the demon. “I saw Celestia earlier today and she was positively beaming. She looks so much happier now that she has that human in her life.”

“How did you know that Twilight would pick up the scroll though?” Boyd asked the Night Princess.

“It’s Twilight Sparkle. She would never tolerate a small mess like that in a library. She used to be a librarian until Tirek blew it up.”

Boyd waved off the mention of Tirek. “He was an asshole, even by demon standards. We have simple rules, don’t fucking invade worlds anymore. It always ends poorly for us in the long run. You should have seen the previous attempt on this alternate dimension of that human’s world. This one dude just came along and single handedly ripped us apart.”

“After Twilight had the scroll, the rest was on you. Great job finding out he had a thing for her butt, then again half of Equestria does.” Luna said with a hint of jealousy.

“You got a great butt yourself Luna. Trust me, Celestia will share the human if you ask, and he wouldn’t mind a piece of those moons.”

Luna started up her portal back home as she rolled her eyes. Boyd could see she was smiling though. “Well, I’ll think of it. I’m headed home. Talk to you later Boyd.”

“You too Moonbutt.”

Luna stepped through the portal as Boyd got a letter from a Cacodemon. Reading it, Boyd immediately got angry. “Who authorized a new invasion on Earth? We have barely recovered from the previous attack by that armored maniac two years ago! WHY WON’T YOU JUST LEAVE HIM ALONE?”

Alas, most demons weren’t that smart. Their anger made their doom, and it would be eternal.

“Fuck this. That’s it, I’m leaving. Find myself a good spot in Tamriel. Maybe give good ol’ Sheogorath a call. It’s been fucking centuries.”

Author's Note

Luna was behind it all!

Memes are love
Memes are life