Dance of the Rainbow

by Masterweaver

Rating: everyone
Tags: Slice of Life, Main 6, Applejack, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Mystery, Rainbow Dash, Comedy
Length: 14171

On an otherwise ordinary day at Sweet Apple Acres, Rainbow Dash unexpectedly demands the use of Applejack's barn for a day. Of course Applejack agrees to help out, but something's up; Dash is trying to handle everything herself, arrange for the Apples to be out in the fields, and doing her best to make sure neither Rarity nor Pinkie even hear about the whole thing. With her suspicions rising by the minute, the farmer goes to confront her friend and discovers something she never suspected...

Cover Artwork by Takua

[img]http://i14.photobucket.com/albums/a331/brittmcgee/MLP%20Minecraft/TLSOA_zps2aa17c49.png[/img]

Published 2012-08-01 16:54:01 UTC
Last updated 2013-02-19 04:31:25 UTC

Dal Niente

The orb of Celestia the lifegiver hung in the summer sky, illuminating the entirety of the land owned by the founding family of the local hamlet. Stretching from the ground were a multitude of carefully arranged brown pillars, each with thousands of green feeding flanges basking in the light granted by the day. There was much to celebrate, in their opinion, as quite a few of them had sprouted red bulges with hung from their limbs enticingly, soon to be gathered by their benevolent lords as the only payment they ever demanded for granting them such a wonderful realm to exist in.

This poetic environment entirely escaped the attention of the youngest of the lords, who was currently attempting to cause an image to magically appear upon her hindquarters.

"Aw come on! Ah was sure that Ah'd get mah cutie mark in botany!"

Her elder sister turned around, looking at the filly with confusion. "Er, what?"

"Ah was tryen ta record all tha branches on this here apple tree." The young lord pointed to one of her subjects, which was wearing a number of orange ribbons. "Ah finally got tha last one marked, but Ah don't even have mah cutie mark!"

"...Ya were counting branches?" The older mare pushed her hat back, looking at the orange streamers now decorating the tree. After a moment, she glanced down at her sister. "How many do ya reckon?"

"Eight hundred thirty two thousand and forty." The filly pounded her hoof into the ground. "And still no cutie mark."

"Eight hund--How long were ya doing this Apple Bloom?"

"Um.... all... week?"

After a moment, her sister gave a low whistle. "Wow. Ah don't know what ta say, sugarcube. It's dissappointing ta see such hard work go unrewarded, Ah know, but..." She floundered. "...well... Ah don't know what ta say, cept yer cutie mark will come--"

"--in its own time, Ah know..."

"...How bout we head inside fer some fritters?" The orange mare gave the yellow filly a gentle smile. "Mah treat.

"Thanks, Applejack. That sounds mighty fine right about now." Apple Bloom gave her sister a brief hug. "Are yah mad that Ah tied all them ribbons up there?"

"Not really."

"Cause, ya know, Ah can take them off--"

"It's fine, sugarcube, they ain't hurting anything." The farmer rolled her shoulders. "Now come on, the fritters are--"

A sudden streak knocked her into the ground, and she tumbled hooves over tail as she struggled with the interloper. When the dust finally cleared, she found herself staring up into the focused face of a lean blue pegasus, breathing heavily just inches away from her.

"...Applejack."

"Yeah Rainbow Dash?"

"I.

Need.

Your.

Barn."

The farmer narrowed her eyes.

"....please?"

"....Give me back mah hat, Rainbow."

***

"It'll only be for a day, I swear!"

Applejack snorted, unwilling to drop the plate of fritters she was carrying to the table. Her pegasus friend was once again violating her personal space, pleading expression mere inches from her shoulder.

"Look, I'll even pay you, okay? I just need to borrow the barn Thursday, that's all. Please AJ? This is super important here."

The farmer put the plate down on the table. "So ya give me four day's notice when ya need some big space." She paused. "What the hay do ya'll need tha barn for anyway?"

"It--Look, I just need it. I'd have told you if I found out sooner." Dash was rocking form one hoof to another, trying desperately to keep from panicking. "I only got the letter today. Please? I promise we won't wreck anything, I swear by Celestia's--"

"We?"

The pegasus winced.

Applejack raised an eyebrow. "...Yer gonna hafta tell me what's going on here."

Rainbow glanced at Apple Bloom, who was focused on the fritter she had just grabbed from the platter. Then she leaned in. "It's... a family reunion, okay? Grandma's birthday. A different one of us hosts it every year."

The farmer narrowed her eyes. The story felt true, but there was something about the way Dash had said it that made her feel a few pertinent details might have been omitted.

"Come on, AJ... you'd do the same if it was Granny Smith, right?"

There was a tense moment.

Then the farmer smiled. "Ah get ya, Dash. Alright, ya'll can use the barn Thursday."

"Ohmygosh, thank you!"

"Ah'll even help ya set up--"

Rainbow's eyes turned into pinpricks. "NO! Um, nonono, that, I should, yeah, do it by myself! Also could you not tell anypony about this?" She glanced at the ceiling. "See, Grandma's kinda fragile, you know, and, well, if Pinkie hears I'm having a party without her--"

Applejack rolled her eyes. "Fine. Ah'll let ya use mah barn, in secret, with ya setting up tha party alone, fer a family gathering."

"Great!" The sarcasm flew over the pegasus's head. "Also, don't take this personally, could you maaaaaaybe, um, get Big Mac and Granny Smith to... I don't know... not be here?"

"....what."

"It's not that I don't like them!" Rainbow backpedaled. "It's just, well, um, you see, TASTES! Grandma's kinda like Rarity, ha ha--Actually, Rarity really needs to not hear about this ever. I mean it."

The farmer stared at the serious expression on the weathermare's face.

Apple Bloom, having finished three fritters, was looking at the two of them with no small amount of curiosity.

"...Ah can't promise anything. But..." Applejack sighed. "Ah'll see what Ah can do."

Rainbow Dash let out a sigh of relief. "Oh my gosh, thank you. Thank you so so much, you have no idea how much this means--"

Applejack snorted and turned away, sitting down across from Apple Bloom and snagging herself a fritter.

The pegasus gave her a confused look, then lowered her head as she kicked at the floor. "So! I'll just, um, I'll just go and... do some stuff. And I'll be back Thursday. For the barn."

"Eeeeyup." Applejack bit down on her fritter.

"...Seriously, AJ, you're an awesome friend. You know that?"

"Eeeeyup."

Rainbow stared at her for a moment. Then with a groan, she turned away. "Anyway, going now! Bye AJ! Bye Bloomers!"

"Bye Rainbow!" Apple Bloom waved enthusiastically as the cerulean pegasus took to the air. Then she turned to her sister. "Wow, Ah didn't know Rainbow had a grandma. Did ya'll know that?"

"Eeeenope."

Apple Bloom gave her a flat look.

Applejack sighed and rolled her eyes. "Alright, alright. No, Ah didn't know bout Rainbow's grandma. Hay, I didn't know anything bout her family before today." She glanced toward the door. "Ah just can't help but feel she's hiding something...."

Sonata Form

Contrary to popular belief, Pinkie Pie did not make candies. She had tried in the past, of course, but the temptation to simply consume the entirety of the ingredients before finishing meant that her efforts were doomed from the start. Pastries, which required some rather bland components prior to their baking, could be easily managed. Because of this, the ironically named Sugarcube Corner did not sell any sweets.

No, that was the domain of the much smaller Spectral Patio, run by a cream mare with a bicolored mane.

Bonbon glanced up as the front door rang, somewhat intrigued. School age foals were in... well, school right now. And, she added to herself as she identified the customer, Rainbow Dash wasn't a romantic so there was little call for her to ask for one of the more alluring candies that Bonbon's shop could make. Still, a customer was a customer.

"Hello there, how can I help--?"

The pegasus dropped a cookbook on the confectioner's counter, opening it up to a bookmarked page. "Can you make this?"

An image of an absolutely wondrous cake, the kind that could have sat in some windows of Canterlot, greeted the eyes of the mare. Bonbon stared at it in rapture. "Can I...?" She blinked and shook her head, looking up at the weathermare. "Um, miss Dash, I would suggest maybe taking this to Sugarcube Corner--"

"NO! I mean, no. I mean, Pinkie can't know." Rainbow glanced around the room furtively. "She's not here, is she? She could be anywhere..."

Bonbon gave a helpless shrug, indicating she could predict Pinkie just as well as she could cast a spell.

"Right. So... um, can you make this or not?"

Reading over the recipe, the earth pony pursed her lips. While she specialized in candy, she was not by any stretch of the imagination a horrible cook. "....If... I had the ingredients, maybe. But they're quite expensive to--"

"Money is no object."

"...excuse me?"

Her customer glanced around furtively. "I'll buy everything. I'll pay you for this. I don't care how much it is, okay? Just--"

The door rang again, causing the pegasus to whirl about. Standing in the entryway was none other then Ponyville's premiere fashionista, the most elegant and refined unicorn in the town.

The two of them stared at each other in utter shock.

Eventually, Rarity tilted her head. "I never thought you'd be one to partake of sweets, Rainbow Dash. I'd always assumed you prefer healthy meals or," she shuddered, "fast food."

"...Sugar! Yeah, this is just a little pick-me-up for some, aheh, extreme stunts. Some, you know, colorbits."

"Colorbits? I suppose you would like them." Rarity moved to head for the counter but found herself blocked by a pair of blue wings. "Excuse me, Rainbow, I did place an order! Would you please move out of the way?"

Dash glanced behind her, eyes darting from the cookbook to Bonbon in a desperate plea. Catching her drift, Bonbon slid the tome off behind the counter. The weathermare glanced back and chuckled. "Heh heh... I waaaas just, you know, trying to make sure you didn't buy anything too fattening! Don't want you to lose that amazing figure of yours."

For a moment, there was stunned silence.

"...My dear Rainbow, are you coming on to me?"

"What?! I--No, what I meant was--"

The unicorn tutted sympathetically, putting a hoof to the pegasus's mouth. "No, darling, I know how it is. Finding a friend suddenly attractive can be a confusing thing, but remember: there is a difference between attraction and romance. I'm not going to suggest your feelings aren't real," she added quickly, "just... perhaps you should examine them closely before you make any moves. Don't worry, I can wait for you decision."

Rainbow Dash's face carefully reassembled into a mask of embarrassment. "Riiiight. Right. I'll... yes. Thank you for being so understanding." She slid to the side slowly, eyes fixated on Rarity as she tried to judge her next move.

With a gentle smile, the fashionista broke her gaze with the weathermare and turned to Bonbon. "I'm terribly sorry this all happened in your shop dear. Do you have those refreshments Sweetie Belle wanted for her sleepover?"

"Right here miss Rarity!" Bonbon gave her a sack of candies with a grin. "And might I say you manage to snag some of the best ponies in town." This was definitely something she'd tell Lyra about when she got home.

"Why thank you." The unicorn tossed her mane. "I do try to keep myself looking well. Good day, Bonbon, good day Rainbow!" She turned around, humming as she left the Spectral Patio.

The pegasus let her gaze follow her until she was absolutely sure she was out of earshot. Then she whirled back to the confectionist. "The cake?"

"I can do it."

"I need it by Thursday." She tapped the counter. "And the other bookmark, I need two hundred fifty of those."

Bonbon raised an eyebrow, glancing down and turning the pages of the cookbook. Another grandiose recipe greeted her eyes. "I... will need to purchase more ingredients--"

"Put it on my tab. And tell nopony." Rainbow looked over her shoulder. "Heck, keep the cookbook. I gotta... oh geeze, can't ask her... Fluttershy, that'll work." She walked out the door, somewhat distracted as she took to the skies.

The earth pony stared after her for a few minutes. Then she flicked her mane, pulled out a notepad, and started calculating. The loud squee she gave when she came up with the final number could be heard three blocks away.

***

Fluttershy stared at Rainbow Dash. "I'm sorry, but... you want me to do what?"

The pegasus sighed, kicking a hoof against the porch. "I need a dress. And I need to make sure Rarity never ever ever learns the dress exists." She let her eyes raise to meet that of the other mare's. "Please, Fluttershy. This is bad enough for me as is..."

After a moment, the caretaker stepped back and glanced around the room. "Why do you need a dress?"

"...I'm hosting Grandma's birthday." Rainbow shrugged. "Normally I'd just buy something from Cloudsdale but--"

"Oh my. Oh, oh wow, I didn't know!" Fluttershy put a hoof on her friend's shoulder. "Wow, this has to be hard for you. I'll do it, don't you worry. Are you going to host the party in your home?"

"It's not big enough. I... had to rent out AJ's barn."

"...so she knows that you're--"

"NO!" The cerulean pegasus stamped her hoof. "No, she doesn't know. Nopony can ever know! Please, just.... can you keep this quiet, please please please?"

Fluttershy nodded, knowing full well her secret could utterly devastate Rainbow's reputation. "Alright. I haven't told anypony before, right?"

"Right. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to snap...." The weathermare glanced around. "...do you need to take my measurements?"

"That would be helpful, yes."

"Um... can you have it done by Thursday?"

"Oh! Well, I suppose."

Rainbow shuffled her hooves. "There's... one other thing..."

She reached into her saddlebags, and Fluttershy couldn't help but gasp at what she pulled out.

Staccato

"Hi Rainbow Dash!"

"GAAAH!" The pegasus jumped in surprise, nearly spilling her saddlebags as she backpedaled from the ludicrously happy expression that had appeared in front of her. "Pinkie! Where did you come from?!"

Pinkie tilted her head. "Hmmm. Well you see, Rianbow Dash, when a pony and another pony reaaaaaally love each other, they--"

With a sigh, the weathermare clapped a hoof over the baker's mouth. "Yeah, not that. I walked into that one. Do you want anything?"

"I was wondering if you wanted to help me cause I have this really cool idea for a new dance only it needs somepony on top of me doing a different dance and you have wings so you wouldn't actually fall off or if you did it wouldn't be hurt--"

"Sorry, no. I'm... busy." Rainbow Dash glanced around. "Got something big in three days... Got to get everything ready."

"Oooooooh. What is it?"

The pegasus rubbed the back of her head. "Weeeeellllll it's kinda sorta something that, ya know, only Cloudsdale ponies would understand and, well, it's.... something." She waved a hoof vaguely. "You know. Just... one of those things that I have to do."

Pinkie gave her an admonishing look. "Rainbow Dash, are you keeping a secret from me?"

"...You know what? I am."

"Oh, okay then!" The party pony returned to grinning. "Just wanted to make sure."

"Wait that's it? No 'what are you doing' or 'what's in my saddlebags'?"

"Don't you worry silly filly! Everypony has some secrets, and I don't mind not knowing. Just so long as I know about the secrets that I need to know about to help ponies out because ponies keeping secrets just so I could not help them is kinda silly when you think about it."

"Er, yeah!" Rainbow nodded enthusiastically. "Silly! And I wouldn't do anything as silly as that."

"Well not unless your reputation depended on me not embarrassing you in front of a bunch of ponies."

The weathermare sighed. "Believe me, Pinkie, it's the other way round."

The baker nodded in understanding. "I gotcha, family can be embarrassing."

"Yeah they--" Dash's eyes shot open. "How did you know that?!"

"I didn't! I just guessed." Pinkie Pie giggled. "But don't worry, I know the feeling definitely. You know my mom just can't stand the taste of cupcakes or regular cakes or anything that's too sweet? She'll eat my stuff of course but she always makes these wacky faces like glargh or oooog and then she pretends it's nothing so I have to make a lot of crackers to put on her plate so she's happy." The earth pony shrugged. "Moms are weird."

"Try having three."

"You have three moms?"

Rainbow Dash waggled a hoof noncommittally. "See what happened was... there were these three brothers, right? And they each married a mare, and all the mares happened to be sisters. And all six of them sort of communally raised each other's children. So that's my family life," she finished lamely.

"Ooooo. That explains so much."

The pegasus narrowed her eyes. "What, exactly, is that supposed to mean?"

Pinkie Pie just giggled. "That's why you're so embarrassed about meeting your family on Thursday and don't want me to know about it right?"

After a moment, the pegasus nodded. "...Yeah. That's completely right, you're very observant. Now if you'll excuse me I need to head home and do things." She turned to leave

"Don't you worry about a thing! I Pinkie Pie promise not to crash your secret family barn party Thursday!"

Rainbow's head snapped around. "HOW DID YOU KNOW ABOUT THAT?!"

"Apple Bloom told Sweetie Belle who told Spike who told Twilight who told me." Pinkie rolled her eyes. "Really though, trying to set up a party on your own when my special talent is parties is kinda hurtful, Dashie. Are you sure you don't need me to--"

"Family affair! Tradition! No outside help! Sorry gotta fly!"

The baker watched the polychromatic trail speed through the sky with a sigh.

After a moment, though, she grinned mischievously and hopped down the road. New ponies were going to visit Ponyville soon, after all, and she hadn't ever said anything about not throwing them a party not at the barn....

***

"Rainbow Dash, what in tarnation are ya'll doing with mah barn?!"

The pegasus looked up guiltily as Applejack stormed through the doors with a snarl. "I'm--I'm just sweeping it out! That's all!" She glance around. "And, well, kinda setting up a carpet."

"Kinda." The farmer tapped the red monstrosity that covered the entirety of the barn floor. "Ah ain't no expert, but Ah'd label this as a Neighponese hoof-woven import with custom crest and, if ah ain't mistaken, no less then seven blessings upon all who walk across it written inta tha border."

Rainbow Dash stared at her.

"...Ah spent three months in Manehattan. Ya kinda pick up on these things."

"Er...." The pegasus smiled awkwardly. "I just... my... aunt had this lying around, and she sent it ahead, you see, so--"

Applejack stomped her hoof down. "THIS AIN'T SOMETHING THAT JUST LIES AROUND RAINBOW! This is worth about a fourth of Sweet Apple Acres! What in the hay are ya'll hiding from me?!"

"...I have a rich aunt, that's all!"

"Oh, nonono. That ain't enough. Thar's rich, then there's this. This is rich fer tha rich." The earth pony walked calmly across the carpet she had identified, closing in on the increasingly nervous pegasus. "Yer asking ta use mah barn, making it more froufrou then Rarity, and want me to kick mah own kin out fer a day so ya'll can spend it with yers. Something's up, Rainbow Dash. Something big. And quite frankly Ah'm thinking of taking tha barn back just ta spite ya, but Ah don't want ta leave ya hanging. So, yer gonna tell me what the hay is going on here."

The weathermare, now pressed against the wall, looked into the still emerald lakes of concern and anger. Eventually, she sighed in defeat. "All right. All right, I... Pinkie Pie promise you won't tell anypony else?"

"...Cross mah heart, hope tah fly, stick a cupcake in mah eye."

Rainbow Dash breathed in. "I... well... that is, my grandma...." She shuddered.

And then she told her.

Allegretto

Rainbow Dash entered the library cautiously, well aware that Twilight Sparkle had a tendency to practice spells in the main area and not wanting to disturb her two days before the big party. Fortunately, her egghead companion seemed to be doing research, what with the books floating around and all the notes she was taking. The pegasus smiled, bracing herself. Get in, give her the plans, get out. That was all she needed.

"Hey there Twi!"

"Oh! Hey Dash. What brings you here?" The librarian put down her pen. "Have you finally come to embrace the art form that is true study?"

"....actually I need your help. See, Thursday I have to be somewhere--"

"That barn thing Spike told me about?"

Rainbow blinked. "...Yes. Aaaanyway, the thing is there's a new cloud shipment coming in on the same day, and it needs to be properly arranged." She glanced at the ceiling. "Now, since I'm the regional weathermare I'd usually have it done quicker then you could say kumquats, but--"

"But since you'll be in the barn all day you want me to take over?" Twilight grinned. "I think I can handle that."

"Great! Here's the plans." The weathermare pulled a stack of sheets from her saddlebags. "I don't usually do checklists, but I tried to get everything so you could get it. I'll just tell the weather crew what's up." Yes! That had been easy.

"Hmmm... er, Rainbow, what do these lines mean?"

"Lines?" The pegasus looked over her friend's shoulder. "Oh, those are pressure fronts."

"Oh! So it's wind."

Rainbow Dash gave a half-hearted smile. "Yeah. Well, not exactly, but you're only going to be handling the thing for a day. I think I can clean up any mess you make."

Twilight gave her a deadpan look. "Rainbow Dash, since when have I ever made messes?"

"Gala tickets. Gala dresses. The Gala itself. Smarty Pants, the parasprites, I heard about a lot of Winter Wrap Up shenanigans..."

"Alright already, I get it." The unicorn snorted. "I'll be careful."

Dash smirked, nudging her friend playfully. "Relax, I was just screwing with ya."

"How a pony like you ever got into weather management I'll never know...." Twilight tilted her head. "Actually, how did you get into weather anyway? It seems so out of character for you."

"What?"

The librarian gestured with a hoof. "I mean, you're Rainbow Dash, fastest flier in Equestria. You're always doing stunts or... napping. But weather needs a precise hoof and quite frankly takes a lot of study to manage. It's a complete oxymoron!"

The pegasus looked at her, an unusually contemplative expression on her face. Well.... she didn't need to know the whole story, and it would be good to get this out in the air....

"Rainbow?"

After a moment, Rainbow Dash sat down next to Twilight Sparkle. "Well... see, it started when my family cut me off."

The unicorn's eyes shot wide. "Your family did what?!"

"Hey, I deserved it!" The pegasus shrugged. "I was a complete brat, didn't care about anything but me, wrecked lots of my parent's stuff... they tried sending me to flight camp to learn discipline, but that backfired. Like hard." She laughed and shook her head. "So they kicked me out, and for the first time in my life I actually had to rely on my skills. Like before, I'd just assume I could do anything, but now I had to prove it. I spent about a week and a half on the streets before I actually considered working for money."

"Wow. That's... that's harsh." Twilight wrapped a hoof around her neck. "I'm sorry you had to go through that."

"I'm not."

"What?"

Rainbow looked directly into her eyes. "I'm not. In Cloudsdale, pushing clouds is a hobo job. No requirements, just obey your superiors. That's where I started. That's where I learned the value of hard work." She tapped the ground empatheticly. "That's how I grew up, I mean really grew up. I worked my way up the ladder. I earned this position. I bought my own home. I've made up with my family, don't worry," she added, "but you have to understand; before they kicked me out I expected everything on a silver platter just because I was awesome. I don't resent it, and I certainly don't regret it."

She smiled and bumped her shoulder against Twilight. "And hey, if it had never happened I'd never have met you, right?"

The unicorn blinked. Then, slowly, a smile grew on her face. "Wow. That's... yeah, you're right."

After a moment, though, she adopted a sly expression. "So you were a hobo?"

The pegasus laughed. "Cardboard box and everything, filly! Heck, I still have the box if you ever want to see it."

"I'll take your word for it."

***

Rarity looked up from her work as the door jingled, eyes widening when she saw who it was. "Applejack! Darling, whatever happened to you?"

The farmer merely glanced up, her gaze unfocused, and wandered over to the dresses. It was clear she wasn't looking at them so much as looking at them. In Rarity's mind the distinction was quite important; ponies looked at dresses when they wanted to be pretty, but looking at dresses only happened when a pony was seriously considering their self image.

Without a moment's hesitation, the fashionista trotted over to her friend's side. "You know you can tell me anything, AJ. I promise not to judge you."

"Ha..." Applejack smirked. "Right. Ah can't, Rares, I Pinkie Pie promised...."

"...oh."

After a moment, though, the earth pony turned to her friend. "What would ya'll say a pony is?"

Rarity paused. "Well... hmmm, that is a tough question. Someponies say they are the end result of their cutie mark, and others say they are the result of their background... and both of those are important. But in the end, a pony is more defined by their actions then by where they came from, by their experiences and achievements."

"Yeah.... that's what Ah thought too..."

The fashionista looked at the farmer. "...Sometimes a pony will find something out about their past they didn't know. But that only changes circumstances, never who they are."

Applejack reflected on the words. Then she nodded to herself.

"....Rarity, Ah need a dress. Bah Thursday morning."

"Oh, well certainly!" The unicorn smiled, glancing around. "It's a rather sudden order, mind you, but I'm sure I can modify one of these outfits--"

"It needs ta be frou frou. Like, yah know, them rich ponies up in Canterlot? And yah know what, Ah think Ah'll want ya ta style mah mane as well. And make up, right, that's girly too."

Rarity blinked. "Ah.... that is, um, certainly an unusual request, darling."

Applejack turned to her with an unexpectedly dark smile. "Rainbow Dash is being a very silly pony. Ah intend ta show her that."

"What?" The fashionista was scrambling to process this. "Is this something to do with her sudden crush on me?"

"Wait, Rainbow has a crush on ya? When did this happen?"

The door jingled again. Both of them turned, eyes landing on a cerulean earth pony whose multicolored mane was tied up in a bun. The filly gave them a bit of an awkward smile. "I'm sorry if I'm interrupting anything, darlings, but I heard that the Carousal Boutique had simply the most dashing outfits and, well, I'm in need of something new."

Marcato

"Yoohoo! Dashiel!" The earth pony waved, her multicolored tail flicking anxiously. "I can see you on that cloud. Might I trouble you for some of your time?"

Dash sighed, facehooving. Two days before the party and she had to come...

"Better get this over with," the pegasus muttered, descending to the ground. "Hey there, couz."

"And a good morrow to you, Dashiel! I say, I was rather surprised you agreed to host this, how do you put it, shindig?" The cerulean pony leaned in. "I didn't know you had it in you. Grandma, quite frankly, terrifies me to the core!"

"I got the message two days ago."

"You... Oh my! I had assumed you were prepared!" The other pony put a comforting hoof on her cousin's shoulders. "I will of course be more then willing to assist you in any way, darling."

Dash gave her a flat stare. "I've got it handled."

"...Yes, quite."

The two of them looked at the ground.

"...Rainbow, look--"

"...Dashiel, I--"

The two of them both stopped, looking at each other in mild embarrassment. Rainbow bowed her head, silently indicating the pegasus initiate the conversation.

"....Look, I have a life here, okay? I'm doing this for my family, but I'm not going to pick up and pack up just because that mare thinks I should be with them all."

"I'm not asking you to." The earth pony looked around. "This is a nice town, and it's clear you've set down roots. I just wish you would visit more often, darling."

"But if I visit, then she tries to keep me there and make me... something else."

"Like she did with me?"

The pegasus sighed. "No... you were always you. What happened wasn't your fault, it's hers."

"Auntie always told me that, but..." Rainbow sighed. "I'm named after you, Dashiel. We can't just slide the problem away."

Dash snorted. "Like I said. It's your mom's fault, not yours."

"She tried to replace you, Dashiel! How can you not--"

"BECAUSE I'M ME, OKAY?!" The pegasus growled. "I don't care what that madmare thinks. I'm me and you're you and whatever she decided to call you doesn't matter. You are not Rainbow Dash two point oh. You are..." She floundered. "You're... Rainbow, the pony who always dresses in style."

The earth pony lowered her head. "I don't understand how you can feel that way. I don't understand how you can just forgive her."

Oh no... not this again. Dash put a hoof on her cousin's shoulder. "Stop it. You have nothing to be guilty about, so stop beating yourself up, alright?"

"How can I? You're never coming home...." The earth pony let her teary eyes rise. "You, you're never coming home and it's all m--my fault--"

Dash pulled her into a powerful hug. All Rainbow could do was sob gently.

"...how many times do I have to tell you this? You're not a replacement, Rainbow. You could never replace me, because you are your own pony." The pegasus stroked her mane. "I don't know how to say it but... just be yourself. Don't worry if you're better then me or anything."

"But... I'm pushing you away--"

"No, Rainbow. It's her. Not you. Trust me on this." Dash leaned back, looking into her eyes. "Ya know I always like hanging with you, right? You've always got something dashing to show me."

The earth pony snorted slightly, a small smile forming on her muzzle. "I... Yes. I do. Thank you, Dashiel, I... I don't know what came over me."

"Hey, it's no biggie."

"No, I mean it. You are one of the most friendly mares I have ever known. That Rarity darling is a lucky pony."

The pegasus raised an eyebrow. "Er.... why?"

Rainbow blinked. "...I thought you were courting her?"

"What?! No!" Dash actually laughed. "Oh, no, that was... that whole thing was a complete misunderstanding. She's a nice pony, don't get me wrong," she added quickly, "but me and her like that is like... Ugh. No."

"Oh my. I had assumed from the way she spoke of you--"

The pegasus shrugged. "She's always like that. Er..." glancing around, she leaned in. "You... didn't tell her about our family history did you?"

Rainbow giggled and shook her head. "Do give me some credit, Dashiel. I am well aware what the results would be of revealing our heritage wily nilly. All she knows is that I am your astonishingly fashionable cousin."

"Good. Cause, to be honest, nopony here in Ponyville knows. They see me as miss tough and I'd like to keep it that way." The pegasus saluted. "Well, I'm going to continue my weather duties now, couz. You got a place to stay?"

"Oh yes, a Pinkimena Diane Pie simply insisted we room together once she learned we were related."

Dash wilted. "Oh. Wow, are you sure you'll be okay?"

"Don't worry, darling, miss Pie has been nothing if not accommodating!" She shrugged. "Though she does seem rather interested in learning about our family, something about--Oh, I apologize, I was sworn to secrecy on that!" Rainbow giggled again. "Oh well, I do hope you'll make a good speech at Grandma's birthday."

"You and me both..." The pegasus gave the earth pony a final smile and took to the skies.

***

Fluttershy jumped as she heard the knocking on the front door. "Oh my..." Looking out her window, she noticed that Rarity was outside. "Oh, yes, I'm grooming Opalescence today... I'll be right down, Rarity!"

The pegasus glanced back at her work, nodding to herself; she could afford to abandon it for a brief moment, and Rainbow Dash certainly wouldn't want Rarity to see it. Walking down the stairs, she opened the front door; the alabaster unicorn stepped in, levitating Opal's carrier behind her. "I do hope I wasn't interrupting anything important, Fluttershy. Come on out, Opal, miss Fluttershy is going to make you look beautiful!" She placed the carrier on the ground and opened it, oblivious to the sudden rush of animals into their dens.

The feline, for her part, stepped out calmly and started licking her paws. She was in complete control of the situation, as always. Fluttershy smiled, amused, as she began to brush the long white fur; a part of her was quite upset that somepony had even thought to breed longhairs and inflict such torment on generations of poor kitties, but what was done was done.

"Oh I hope you have been doing well, dear." Rarity immediately took up her accustomed position on the couch as the caretaker took care of her pet. "I may have to cancel our spa date, Applejack has actually requested a very special order for this Thursday and it's taking up most of my time."

"Oh?" Something about her friend's tone piqued Fluttershy's curiosity.

"Yes, apparently it's some sort of Prank on Rainbow Dash." The unicorn giggled to herself. "Or Dashiel, as her cousin calls her... did you know that Rainbow has a cousin with her exact same name?"

"Rrrr!"

"Oh my goodness, I'm so sorry Opal!" Fluttershy dropped the brush she was holding; she had just jerked it up in shock, not ever a good thing to do with longhairs. "So... you've met Rainbow's cousin?"

"Oh my, of course! We talked for hours about fashion, I must say the filly has an absolutely dashing sense of style. Our Rainbow did eventually come up, of course; apparently she was named after her."

"Really?" Fluttershy smiled. Innocent conversation, Rarity didn't know. "Well then... That must have been interesting."

"Why didn't you ever tell me Rainbow Dash had such interesting relatives?"

The yellow pegasus sighed as she brushed Opal's tail. "Well... she's kind of embarrassed about them."

"What? Because of her heritage?"

"RRRR!"

"Sorry! You, um, know about that Rarity?"

The unicorn smiled. "But of course darling. I've known for years."

Crescendo

Pinkie Pie bounded into the library, an all too wide grin on her face. "Hey there Twilight! Are you about to do some serious magic that would cause wild shenanigans if interrupted?"

The unicorn paused in the midst of placing a book back in its home. "...no, I'm just re-shelving the books. Why does everypony think I'd do spells that required concentration in the middle of a populated area? I usually go out to the meadows for that sort of thing, I'm not stupid."

"It's not so much that they think that as it's a convenient opening for a story. 'Wonder Wizard Wobbles! Cue Zombie Invasion!'" The party pony giggled. "Don't worry Twilight, it's not like anypony seriously expects it or anything. Anyway I was wondering if you have any books on what did Rarity call it that sort of thing like acting to the high-class types started with Social Et but I forget the rest?"

"...Social Etiquette?"

"That's the one!"

Twilight Sparkle gave her bouncy friend a cautious look, but levitated an elegant tome to her. "Here you go. Any particular reason you want this?"

Pinkie's grin, impossibly, grew wider. "That's a seeeeeecreeeeeeeeeeet."

"O...kay." Twilight glanced outside. "Huh... You know I have to take over weather management tomorrow, and Rainbow's not even clearing today's clouds..."

"There's a rainstorm day after tomorrow, she's probably preparing in advance. So she roped you into doing some work for her while she's doing her family shindig?"

"Yeah that's-- How did you know about that?"

The party pony rolled her eyes. "Does it really matter? Dash is being a silly filly. She shouldn't be. That's my job."

"Well, maybe she's worried about her family history." Twilight pulled a certain hefty tome from the bookshelves. "And since I know you're going to ask how I know about that, I'm going to tell you the truth: I don't. Not for certain. But I've got some theories."

"Oooo! Storytime!" Suddenly the baker was peering over her shoulder, hooves digging into her neck. "So tell me what the word up is in this biznasty secret Rainbow thinks she's been hiding from all of us these years, yo, I'm totally going to use some egghead mojo in prepping the grand subversion I be planning!"

"...DJ PON-3 is a bad influence on you." Twilight rolled her eyes. "See, I formed this theory a while back. Rarity asked me to research some special shampoo and one thing led to another and we started wondering why Rainbow was... well... Rainbow." She tapped her mane. "So, I started looking through the history books for references to rainbow manes, sonic rainbooms... multispectrals in any form, really."

"Oh whoa! What did you find out?"

The unicorn gave a half smile, her expression grim. "It started long, long ago. Like, the last time Discord reigned."

Instantly, Pinkie frowned. "Discord? Rainbow Dash is multicolored because of Discord?! Twilight, that doesn't make sense!"

"No no no. See, way back then there were... other beings. Like Celestia and Luna. They were worried that Discord would try to conquer their lands. And one of those creatures was the Rainbow Serpent."

The unicorn turned a page, illuminating an image of a massive, vibrant band of chroma that sparkled in every shade Pinkie Pie could imagine and then some. It was flying from a stormy land on the horizon, fanged expression grim and determined.

"He lived in Uluru, but in order to better attack Discord he moved to South Amareica. And there, he used his powers to craft soldiers."

"Soldiers?"

"Yep." Twilight turned the page again. This time, the fresco depicted a flock of glittering birds... no, they were winged snakes, their feathers and scales wild with hues that left Pinkie dizzy. "They were called the Quetzalcoatl. The Rainbow Serpent thought that since their feathers were manifestations of chaos in color, they would... sort of cut through Discord's chaos and kill him."

"Um." Pinkie tilted her head in confusion. "Didn't... Celestia and Luna sort of, you know, encase Discord in stone with the Elements of Harmony?"

"Yeah... The Quetzalcoatl plan didn't quite work out. The part we're concerned with is how they took care of ponies. They would fight to the death or worse to protect their charges, and they were sort of admired by the locals." Once more did the page turn, and Twilight grinned when Pinkie gasped; the image was clearly a wedding between a mare and one of the flying snakes, who both had eyes filled with love. "Maybe admiration is too weak a word. In any case, it's said that to this day, some of the descendants of these warriors are marked."

"Oh. Oooooh! So Rainbow's got a rainbow mane cause she's part flying snake?" The party pony tilted her head. "That's... weird, okay, but the flying snakes look like they'd be cool! I don't understand why Rainbow would hide that sort of thing."

The unicorn sighed. "Well, it may be because of what happened next...."

***

"WHAT?!"

"Ah'm gonna be thar. Pure and simple."

"AJ, don't do this to me please. You already know about this, but I don't want you to have to see--"

"This is mah barn. Ah'm gonna make sure yer kin don't burn tha place down." The farmer narrowed her eyes.

Rainbow Dash flickered her wings nervously. "But, but... Um, you see, if they find out you're, like, a country girl, they'll be on your tail and--"

"Well then, I suppose I will have to conduct myself in a matter befitting a true lady. Don't you fret, dear, I can certainly handle myself amongst the upper echelons of society."

The pegasus stared.

Applejack rolled her eyes. "Three months in Manehattan."

Rainbow Dash frantically searched her mind for an out. "...There's another Rainbow Dash! Yeah! It'll be too confusing for you if--"

"Met her."

"You met... right. She's staying with... Pinkie... Oh! Um, I'm pretty sure Big Mac needs you to help him buck trees tomorrow and--"

"Gave me the day off."

"He... did. Okay. Um. Dress! You'd need to wear a dress, and be all fancy and--"

"Taken care of."

"...My parents will ask if we're dating!" Dash cried, desperate.

Applejack raised an eyebrow.

"...You won't like the food?"

The eyebrow remained raised.

"...My, um, embarrassing brothers will flirt with you?"

"Ya think that doesn't happen ta me already?"

"Please, I just..." Finally, the pegasus sighed. "I'm going to be wearing a dress and giving a speech and, and, and I can't let anypony know. Okay? I only let you know because I'm borrowing the barn, but... I just... If you're there..."

"Rainbow Dash. Ah promised not ta tell anypony. What's tha harm in letting me see ya gussied up?"

The pegasus looked up at her.

"...fine. You know what. You win. Just walk on in and watch everything I am be wrecked. It's not like this will, I don't know, COMPLETELY CHANGE HOW YOU SEE ME!"

"Dash--"

"What? I said yes. We're done here." Without another word, she took to the clouds.

Applejack watched her soar away and shook her head. Well... tomorrow was the big day.

Con Brio

Today was the day.

In Carousel Boutique, Rarity had just finished with Applejack's mane, making her practically unrecognizable as a farmer. Twilight Sparkle stood at the center of town, commanding the forces of weather with a calm but organized manner. Fluttershy managed to wrangle Rainbow Dash into her dress hours ago, and was even now assisting her in making her way to the barn unseen. Big Mac and Granny Smith were in the south field, caring for some trees, while Apple Bloom sat in the schoolhouse too curious to focus on her lessons. And a stream of visiting ponies found, each and every one of them, greeted by a smiling pink baker, who slipped them all a piece of paper.

As the orb of Celestia the livegiver slowly made its way through the sky, Ponyville itself began to realize that something was going to happen today. It was an extra sense the natives had developed after so many crazed happenings in their small hamlet; the way that some ponies had plans, the way that others seemed to be missing, the influx of foreigners, Applejack in a dress... It was enough. They knew something was going on. And as Pinkie Pie began to bounce around town, sending invites to everypony, they felt that all too familiar feeling of anticipation. Still, the majority of the population waited; whatever crazy shenanigans would occur, they wouldn't occur any faster for interference.

Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, and Applejack all arrived at Sweet Apple Acres without incident. The two in dresses had glowered at each other, silently entering the barn together to begin the last minute preparations. The animal caretaker had, after a moment of looking around awkwardly, flown back home... only to discover Pinkie Pie waiting with a maniac expression and find herself roped into an informal sentry duty. Rainbow Dash's identically named cousin, meanwhile, began leading the stream of visitors through the streets; Rarity and Twilight watched them pass with knowing looks.

And now, at last, they arrived at the barn. Now, at last, the true purpose of their presence would be known....

***

"How many relatives do you have, Dash?" Applejack was staring at the increasing crowd that was still growing ever larger.

"Well... there's my six brothers and sisters, seven cousins from aunt Spectrum, and five from aunt Chroma... I think three of Chroma's kids have married, so that's two and three and one kids from them... Oh, yeah, my big big bro over there divorced recently, his wife was just the worst, but he's got custody of his four kids. And big sis over there is pregnant again, geeze, she... sleeps around a lot, but she's got two fillies already and I guess she's a good mom to them." The pegasus tapped her hoof on the ground. "...Oh yeah! Aunt Spectrum's kids are all married, except Rainbow and Cumulus. But only four of them have kids, so that's... another sixteen... Hey look, Big bro over there brought a date, who'd have thunk it."

Applejack rapidly did the mental calculations. "So that's fourteen from Chroma, twenty six from Spectrum, fourteen from your mom... add the six pairs on top--Is your grandpa still alive?"

"One of them. Not Grandma's husband."

"...Sixty three?" The farmer considered her calculations. "Hmm. Sixty three. Not as big as the Apple clan, but pretty close."

"Oh darling, hello!" Rainbow Dash the earth pony walked up to Applejack. "I must say I was not expecting to see you here, but I can see it was quite worth it. You look simply dashing in that outfit. Did miss Rarity design it for you?"

"Why yes! She was quite helpful in creating this lovely piece of clothing." The farmer smiled. "Thank you very much for your well paid compliments. I do hope you find the barn here to be fitting of such a large soiree?"

"Well, to be honest, yes! True, it is a tad rustic for the tastes of my mother but," she leaned in conspiratorially, "my mother is quite frankly a diva."

"I do declare, such scandal! To hear a daughter talk like that about her own mother!"

Dash looked between the two of them. "Okay, fine. AJ, you've proven you can be high class, but seriously you're freaking me out."

Applejack flittered her eyelids. "Oh? I am so sorry, I am only presenting myself as you decreed was appropriate for this gathering. Did I misinterpret your request?"

"I asked that you not be here at all," Dash growled.

Rainbow's eyes flickered between the two friends. "I'm sorry, is something wrong?"

"Oh, no. Dashiel is simply feeling nervous about having one of her 'rough country bumpkin' friends present in such a unique gathering." Applejack gave Rainbow an apologetic smile. "It's merely a personal drama, I assure you, I doubt you have to worry about it."

Dash groaned. "Please, AJ, don't act like this. This isn't you. It's creepy. And don't call me Dashiel," she added as an afterthought, "only my family should call me that."

"Ooooooh, is that what this is about?" Rainbow smiled mischievously. "Well, don't you worry, Dashiel, I shall endeavor to ensure that your compatriot is not too overblown by the events which are coming forthwith. Come, miss Applejack, I have something I need to discuss with you in private; let us take to yonder snack table and continue our conversation free from the prying ears of my dear cousin."

"My, do I detect intrigue?" Applejack grinned. "Do please lead the way!" The two of them meandered off, leaving the pegasus somewhere between glaring and confused.

After a moment, Rainbow Dash glanced at the informal stage set up in the back of the barn. Her grandma was already walking up the steps, smiling and shaking hooves with well wishing descendants. With a resigned sigh, the weathermare adjusted her regalia, making sure her tiara was straight, and made her way to a position next to the old mare.

"...let's get this over with..."

Her grandma raised an eyebrow, but didn't comment on her tone. Instead, she lightly pinged a wineglass with her wing. The conversations around the room died down slowly, every eye looking upon them.

After a moment, the older mare cleared her throat. "Thank you all for attending my ninety seventh birthday anniversary. It is certainly good to see your lovely faces..." She adjusted her glasses. "Well, those that I can see anyway."

There were a few chuckles.

"About sixty three years ago... give or take a month, something very precious came into my hooves. And I loved it so much that I made two more of the dang things. Now, here I stand, and I see those three things have not only made their own bundles of joy but a few of those went ahead and started making their own! I believe it is safe to say that I am really freaking old."

Rainbow Dash blinked. This was... this wasn't what she was expecting at all. She gave her grandmother a look of confusion, but the old mare didn't seem to notice.

"That's what this really is, kiddos, a celebration of family. The fact that I'm the oldest one here, ha, that's just an excuse! Not that I mind the presents," she mused, "or the cake... or the food... but they're all besides the point. The point is, we're all in this together. So let's all support each other, no matter what path we take!"

The applause was polite, but genuine. The old mare held up a hoof.

"Thank you... and now, as is tradition, I turn the speechmaking duties over to our host. Fillies and Gentlecolts, please lend your ears to Rainbow Dashiel Silverhoof, fifteenth heir to the duchy of Cloudsdale."

Mordent

"Um, Pinkie?" Fluttershy landed in the town square, approaching the party pony cautiously. "Are we... doing the right thing?"

"Whaddaya mean?"

"Well... Rainbow, you know, kind of wants her family life and her social life to be... separate..." The pegasus rubbed the back of her head. "I... just think this might kind of... you know, be violating her boundaries or something."

Pinkie Pie smiled and wrapped a foreleg around her shy friend. "Fluttershy, let me tell you a story. Once, there was a girl and she had a friend. Now this friend was totally happy. Popular enough, good friends of her own, you know, average girl with an average life. But you see, she never spoke about her dad. It was a given that topic was off limits. So this girl, the one that was her friend, got curious. One day the average girl came to school bruised and bleeding, but she said it was just because she tripped. Her friend didn't buy that for a second; she was smart, connected the dots, and went to confront her friend's father about beating her up."

"Oh my." Fluttershy shuddered, she'd heard about such things before. "What... what happened?"

"Well, he knocked her into a coma and she woke up three months later with magical powers that she used to fight monsters. But that's not the point. The point is, there was a boundary there, she violated it, and her friend got moved out of a horrible situation." Pinkie gave Fluttershy a friendly pat on the head. "So you see, it's not always a bad thing to poke your nose where it doesn't belong! All things in balance, that's what Auntie Pinkie is telling you."

"Well, yes, but that was abuse. This is just Rainbow being embarrassed." The pegasus sighed. "I mean, I was okay with Mare Do Well but this is kinda extreme."

"Said the pot to the kettle."

"Excuse me?"

"Which one of us stuck a turtle in her face?"

Fluttershy started. "Um, well, technically that was a tortoise, but--"

"Don't worry, darling," Rarity interjected, walking up to her friends. "What's at stake here is Rainbow's self image. I'd assume that since Applejack knows about her so-called secret she feels she's lost everything about herself that matters. This is to remind her that no matter what happens, we'll still see the real her."

"Oh... I... guess that makes sense..." The pegasus whimpered. "I just don't... want her to be angry with us..."

The unicorn sighed, giving her friend a comforting hug. "I know, I know... I'm a bit scared she'll overreact too. But even if she does, it's unlikely that she'll stop being our friend."

"That's right!" Pinkie bounced up and down. "She forgave us for the Mare Do Well thing so she'll be okay with this too! Now get back up there and keep a firm lookout, I want to time everything perfectly!"

Fluttershy sighed, keeping her eyes to the ground. "...Alright." She flew back to her perch on the clouds, keeping her gaze away from the massive machine Pinkie Pie had wheeled out. It... things would work out. Yes. She had to keep thinking that.

***

Rainbow Dash took a long, deep breath and steeled herself. This was it. This was the moment.

Every eye was upon her, every member of her bloodline staring at the stage as they awaited this no doubt long prepared speech. In the back, she could see Applejack waiting patiently for her to begin...

She coughed.

"Um."

Her eyes flickered around the room.

"....Okay. I would... like to... I would like to thank you all for coming and joining me in celebrating the ninety seventh year of the life of the current Duchess of Cloudsdale. Ninety seven years of, I'm sure, difficult legislative decisions," choosing which quill to sign with most likely, "and noble leadership. I myself have..."

She paused.

"...long looked up to her example, as one of the most... most... quick-witted ponies I have ever met." That makes sense, right? "And I know that she had been more then devoted to the nation of Equestria as a whole. In fact, I might go so far as to say her nobility should be an example to all of us who hold such high office." What would Rarity say here... "So, it is a dazzling honor to host this party, for, Dazzler Prism."

She hadn't even meant to use that pun...

"Ahem. Would you all join me in wishing a long, happy life to her?" Dash took a glass. "Not that she hasn't already had one, but... To Dazzler Prism Silverhoof, Duchess of Cloudsdale, may Celestia's light grant you long life. Oh, and Luna's moon guard you."

It was all she could do not to contort her face as she sipped her drink. She hated wine. It was an unholy combination of sweet juice and hard cider, in her opinion, two things great on their own but that should never be mixed. Her duty fulfilled, Dashiel Silverhoof politely but quickly abandoned the stage, walking to the side of the gathering.

No cheers, no real applause... not that she deserved any. Not that she wanted any from this crowd, not for that.. nonsense.

Applejack sidled up to her. "My word, that seemed rather strained. Are you faring well?"

"Please. Don't talk like that...."

The farmer rolled her eyes. "Fine. If that's what ya wanted ya should have said."

The pegasus sighed. "You know the worst part? Even though they all live these high class lives, even though this isn't what I am at all... I still love them. Can't help it. It'd be nice if I could say they were horrible, but... they're just..." She waved a hoof vaguely.

"...Stuffy?"

"Something like that."

"Hey, wanna blow this joint?"

Dash started. "What? I can't abandon these ponies, I'm their host! I mean, yeah, this is a little.... fancy..." She watched her aunt go by in a dress she was certain she'd seen hanging in Rarity's store this morning. "....But I can't leave them. It's my duty. Heck, it's pretty much my only duty."

"Ya royals are purty big on duty, aincha?"

"Nobles," Rainbow Dash corrected absentmindedly. "We're supposed to be the great bridge between commoners and royalty. I know," she added, holding up a hoof, "if we're a bridge then why don't I just tell everypony?"

"Cause ya hate dresses?"

"Because that actually gives them legal reason to ask me for favors. I want to help because of my own skills, not because I was born into... this." Dash gestured widely. "So... yeah."

"....tha offer ta blow tha joint is still open."

"....I'll think about it."

Sforzando

"She didn't take tha bait."

Rainbow rolled her eyes, glancing at the pegasus she had been named after. "Well then, I suppose we'll just have to follow the original plan. I'm rather surprised your pink friend managed to come up with something so insidious, she seems quite innocent."

"Pinkie Pie is a puzzle wrapped in an enigma," Applejack replied. "Thar are times Ah think she's actually smarter then tha rest of us and just uses her silliness as a mask ta live a normal life." She sighed and shook her head. "And then thar are tha times where Ah wonder if she even thinks at all."

"I completely understand. She does seem to have a form of logic... but it's not anything I can follow." The cerulean mare glanced around the barn. "In the meantime... why don't we talk? How has Dashiel been doing in this little hamlet?"

The orange mare snorted. "Fer tha record, this little 'hamlet' was founded by mah granny and her pa."

"Oh, I didn't mean to offend!" Rainbow quickly assured her. "I only meant... well, compared to Cloudsdale or Manehattan, this is a rather small town. Dashiel grew up in a metropolis, the transfer to such an intimate venue must have been rather jarring for her."

Applejack nodded thoughtfully. "Ah never actually noticed anything like that when she came round... but that was tha first time Ah'd met her. Ah think she was more focused on maken a good impression--well, an impression, anyway. She's not actually one ta come round and talk 'bout her troubles. If ya ask her if anything's wrong...."

"...she'll just laugh and distract you with something 'awesome.'" Rainbow shook her head. "I know exactly what you mean. She did it all the time while I was growing up. Sometimes I wonder if she's just afraid of being hurt."

The farmer looked across the room at the subject of their conversation. She was sitting at a table, sipping champagne and staring at her hooves. When ponies came up, she would put on a smile and talk for a bit, but as soon as they left she became... inert, for lack of a better word.

"...Ah don't think Ah've been tha best friend Ah could be."

Rainbow's ears flicked forward. "I beg your pardon?"

"Well... a while back, me and some others took up a sort of collective hero identity. Dash was being an arrogant brat, we wanted ta show her why that was wrong... she seemed to get the message, but only after we humiliated her." Applejack pulled her hat off her head. "And tha worst thing was, none of us realized we'd done that. Hay.... I should have known. Ah'm her best friend, less ya count Pinkie.... And Dash didn't tell us how she felt about it at all."

"...if... she didn't tell you... how did you find out?"

The farmer shook her head. "Mah sister told me. A friend of hers is tha president of the Rainbow Dash fan club... she told her she'd seen Dash sulking. Ah'm not even sure that this whole party thing Pinkie's plotted is tha best idea."

Rainbow placed a gentle hoof on the farmer's shoulder. "Look at her. She's so obsessed with her awesome image she would cover any secret to keep it. She puts on a strong face for me, but... One night, I walked in while she was sleeping and she was clutching her box with tears in her eyes. She hasn't healed from the rejection, only... ignored. I think that's why she tries to keep her facade up... so she isn't rejected again."

"Ah know, but--"

"The party is to show we won't reject her. No matter what."

"And if she doesn't get that?" The farmer turned on the other mare. "What then? What happens?"

Rainbow looked at her.

"...I....I don't know," she admitted finally. "I don't know... but what else can we do?"

***

"People, people, the sound system has to be put NORTH of the buffet table, otherwise the balloons will wub into the dip!" Pinkie Pie facehooved. "Seriously, Vinyl, do you even think these things through?"

"Nah, sis, I just follow the beat of my heart." The unicorn petted her turntable. "I don't think Spinners here likes the north, the way the clouds are he just gets too much sun, yaknow?"

"Ugh, fine.... Fluttershy! I know you're on lookout duty but could you please move that cloudbank just a titch to the west?"

"Um, I... I don't actually... know how to..."

Pinkie blinked. "You don't? You grew up in Cloudsdale!"

"Yes, but, well, I... I just never figured out how to push clouds. They're so slippery..."

The party pony stared at her for a full ten seconds.

Then suddenly she shrugged and spun around. "Oh well, I guess I can get somepony else. Hey Derpy! Could you maybe--"

"I am legally required to have Rainbow Dash observing me whenever I engage in weather protocol."

"....aaaaaaaalright, fair enough. Cloudkicker! Maybe you could--"

"I'm not going to have any part of this fiasco."

"....Blossomforth, why don't you--?"

Blossomforth got up and eagerly ran out of the patio, but she gave out a small squeak as she tripped down the stairs and ended up tangled in a knot of legs and wings.

Pinkie's eyelid twitched.

Thunderlane walked up with a wide grin. "Hey. Heard you needed a weather pony."

"Yeah. Know any?"

"Yeah. Me."

"...Move those clouds a bit to the west, would you please?"

"Sure thing, sugarmane." The pegasus took to the sky, easily moving the cloud over. "Was this all you needed?"

"Yeperoni! Thanks, Thunderlane, you're a lifesaver."

"All in a day's work. Noble stallion, helping out the mares. That's me." Thunderlane landed, nodding to himself. "Now, does anypony else need help here?"

Blossomforth scabbled in the dirt. "Well, actually--"

"I hear Twilight's doing some paperwork that she needs help with!" Pinkie offered.

"...I think I'll help Blossomforth." The stallion turned to the grateful mare. "Now let's see, if I just kinda... pulll. like... this--"

While his efforts did manage to set the other pegasus free, Thunderlane had forgotten about the basic laws of physics. Thus, he stumbled backward, knocking into the buffet table and triggering a chain reaction which ended with all the food on the floor.

Pinkie Pie stared.

Thunderlane had the decency to look embarrassed.

"....Oh. Kay." The party pony glanced up at the sky. "Fluttershy! Your job's changed! I need you to keep the guests away until I've baked up some new treats!"

Portato

Fluttershy cowered in the doorway that connected the Apple living area to the barn proper. She could see Dash sitting like a porcelain doll mere feet away, her blue wings drooping against the sparkling waistline of her gown. Thankfully, the other pegasus hadn't noticed her yet; unfortunately the farmer she was attempting to wave over was on the other side of the barn. She tapped her hoof in frustration; how could she possibly get the orange mare's attention while not letting Dash know she was here?

"Excuse me, miss, are you the wait staff?"

Fluttershy squeaked and nearly jumped back, but managed to hold her own against the small colt staring at her. "Um... yes. I, well, I need to have a small talk with miss Applejack, you see..." This could actually work. "There's been a bit of a, well, issue and since she is hosting, we thought, well... but of course, um, it's not like we want to disturb the party... Would you be a dear and discreetly bring her over here? Please?"

"What's Discreetly?"

"Um... quietly, without, you know, letting anypony else know..." Fluttershy gave a small smile. "I... really don't want to be a bother."

"You could just fly over the crowd. Only half the ponies here are pegasi, so nopony expects a flyer."

The yellow mare glanced at the sulking Rainbow Dash. "I don't think that would work."

"Are you sure you're the wait staff?"

"I'm... new. Could you just tell miss Applejack that Fluttershy needs to talk to her?"

The colt raised an eyebrow. "You're trying to crash the party, aren't you?"

"What-?! N-No! I just need to talk to--"

"MOMMY! THERE'S A PARTY CRASHER HERE!"

All eyes turned to the doorway, spotting the shivering pink mane. Rainbow Dash got out of her seat, intent on protecting her friend--

But Applejack beat her to the punch, trotting across the room. "Young sir, that's no party crasher. That is one of the ponies who helped arrange this party on such short notice. Is that not right, Dashiel?"

The pegasus nodded. "Um... yes. She was, well, the coordinator for... decorations. Abagail and I will talk to her."

The farm mare's smile froze a titch, but she shook it off. "Don't any of you worry, dears, this will be sorted out right quick!" The three of them stepped behind the door into the Apple living area, shutting it gently.

In the ensuing silence, Rainbow Dash the second slowly facehooved.

Dazzler Prism rolled her eyes, rising from her seat. "Well, I think the cat's out of the bag now. How about we wrap this up and all head for that 'afterparty' the baker was setting up?"

"What? That thing is actually happening?" A mare scoffed. "I thought it was some commoner joke!"

"Shut up, mother," Rainbow groused.

"Excuse me?"

"That commoner, mother, is not only one of the bearers of the elements of harmony, has not ONLY contributed to the Equestrian Research division on multiple occasions, doe not only hold a rare license in the studies and sciences of the fae, will not only inherit one of the most profitable geoformation centers this side of the Crystal Empire, but also happens to be a loving older sister, a caring mentor, a source of joy for everypony in this town, and my friend."

Rainbow took a deep breath, suddenly aware of all the eyes on her.

Dazzler smiled gently, gliding over to her and giving her a reassuring nuzzle. "There there... you've said your piece. I'm sure little Vari's got it."

"Mother! Please don't call me that! It's embarrassing!"

The elderly mare sighed, looking at her. "I've told you before to stop worrying so much about image. Let your mane down, relax a little. Goddesses know you've earned it Vari."

"My name is Variegation!" the mare protested, stomping her hoof.

"I know, I'm the pony that gave it to you." Dazzler grinned, walking up to her and giving her a hug. "And when you're in your public with the admiring fans, I'll call you that. But to me, you'll always be my own wonderful, hardworking, somewhat prissy Vari."

The barn was filled with a gentle sound of ponies appreciating the heartwarming scene.

Rainbow the second glanced at the ground, a bit ashamed of her own behavior. "Mother... I just wanted to say that--"

The mare put a hoof to her mouth. "No. I... I was the one acting disrespectfully, and... I'm sorry."

The barn was once more filled with a gentle sound of ponies appreciating the heartwarming scene.

Dazzler glanced around, reassured that her family was whole again, and flew to the exit. "All right, everypony, enough dilly-dally! We've done the regal side of things, let's go have fun!"

She turned around, opening the barn doors.

"....right after we fight through this pack of mountain lions. Who here brought their swords?"

***

"Ya surrounded mah barn with what?!"

Fluttershy cringed. "W-well, Pinkie told me to find a way to keep the ponies away while she repaired some damage Thunderlane did, and I asked my animal friends to help me and, um, one thing led to another--"

"I still can't believe Pinkie did that," Rainbow growled. "A town-wide party with my family--I am going to be RUINED for sure." She kicked the wall half-heartedly before descending into a sulk. "Once everypony knows I'm part of this frou-frou group, my awesomeness is going to plummet."

"That's not tha problem now! Tha problem is tha bunch of predators around us! No offense Fluttershy."

"Oh, um, none taken I guess..." The pegasus idly traced a pattern on the ground with her forehoof. "They, um, actually suggested that since a lot of ponies are afraid of predators they scare them back into the barn, if, you know, they come out..."

"FOR CLOUDSDALE!"

Appejack's ears flicked up, and she flung open the door to the barn to see Dazzler leading a charge against the very beasts meant to delay her. "What the hay? They have swords! Where did they get SWORDS?!"

"It's part of the regalia," Dash explained dully. "My tiara actually has a dagger hidden in it." She pulled the blade out to demonstrate. "Of course the higher up the ranks, the bigger the weapon..."

"Oh my goodness, oh my goodness! I never meant for this to happen, oh no, what if they hurt the poor mountain lions?"

Applejack rolled her eyes. "Mountain lions have rocky skin, Shy, I don't think they can--"

A sudden yowl interrupted her, and she caught sight of Rainbow the second's mother clinging to a leaping stone feline's mane with a raging expression. "DON'T YOU TOUCH MY DAUGHTER!"

"...huh." Slowly, Applejack shut the door. "Okay, so we have a problem. What're we going ta do?"

"Nothing can stop them now," Rainbow replied, toying with the dagger in her hooves. "It's all over. They'll get there and I'll be ruined, yep. Nothing for me now but dresses and makeup."

There was a quiet moment.

"...Ya know, Dash, Ah never took ya for a quitter."

The pegasus looked up. "What?"

"Here ya are, trying ta keep yer family secret from all the world, and now that it's about ta be blown wide open yer just sitting thar in yer dress and staring at nothun!"

"Well, yeah, but--"

"Yer granny's out thar fighting MOUNTAIN LIONS, Dash! Do ya think she'd ever give up?"

"No..." the weathermare admitted.

"And Ah bet she hasn't done the sonic rainboom, or mastered it so well she can perform it on demand."

"No, that's just me."

"So are ya just gonna sit here and let yer life be taken out from under ya?!"

"...no."

"What was that, sugarcube? Ah can't hear ya."

"No."

"Beg yer pardon?"

"NO!" Rainbow Dash stood up, wings flared.

"Well then, get out thar and help yer granny fight those mountain lions!"

"YEAH!" The pegasus flicked her wings. "FOR CLOUDSDALE! WOOO!" She zoomed out the front door and joined the fray.

Fluttershy looked at Applejack in confusion. "What just... happened?"

"Don't you worry none, sugarcube. Just head out the back door and tell Pinkie to be ready."

Rondo

Pinkie nodded to herself, setting the cake table up and glancing around to ensure there were enough seats for the massive crowd she was planning to host. Ah yes, everything was perfect. The party chi was flowing like rivers of candy in her mind's eye, all she had to do was shoo a few ponies away from the snacks while she waited for the nobles to arrive.

Her smile widened as she caught sight of Fluttershy flapping desperately toward her. "Oh hey! Are they coming?"

"Well, um... yes, but--"

"Great! You would not believe what I've had to pull out of the waxworks to get this whole shindig arranged. Outdoor carpeting is really really expensive and there had to be like twenty different tables not counting the buffet--"

"Oh my... Pinkie, um--"

"--which means I had to cut budget from silverware and balloons but what's a party without balloons and then there was that whole thing with that tatzelworm that got into the library--"

"Well, that's... Listen, Pinkie--"

"--and after the third jump I don't know where we were but when you're being chased by ravenous glove monsters you then to lose track of these things so that's how I recovered the cake--"

"Pinkietheguestsarecominghereridingonmountainlions."

The party pony blinked. "Say that again?"

"Well, when I tried to keep them from heading here my animal friends suggested that a few predators stand around and look scary and so I asked mountain lions to just stand around AJ's barn but Rainbow's family weren't scared and they had swords for some reason so now they're fighting the mountain lions and headed this way and I'm so sorry I didn't think this through!" Fluttershy flung herself at Pinkie's hooves, sniffling.

The baker took a moment to factor this into her calculations. Her eyes screwed up as she pondered the nature of her new struggle, mind whirling with choreographed plans and tools available in her immediate vicinity.

"Do you mean cougars or actual lions made of mountains?"

"Stone, technically... but they live in mountains..."

"Okay then." Pinkie grinned, looking beyond Fluttershy; eying a crowd of panicking ponies now running at them. "That? I can work with that."

She stretched her lips wide, inhaling. The yellow pegasus looked at her bulging friend and, with survival skills tempered by countless parties, jumped to the side.

As predicted, a pack of mountain lions rushed over the sup of the hill, ridden and harried by various ponies in elegent dress. The party pony grinned, waiting for the perfect moment....

"RCHK'KRM KRCKCH'A!"

...and released her breath in a single shout.

The effect was instantaneous. Every single stone feline stopped dead in their tracks, eyes snapping to the smiling pink mare as they suddenly ignored the very ponies they had been battling. One, an elderly sort with a cracked mane, stomped forward.

"Chk'k' rch uk krkrk ch?"

Pinkie nodded. "Rch."

"Chk'k' rrchk'a! R chi kika kk chk qrch." The mountain lion flung a paw behind him.

"Rch k'k' chki quch kchq rq." The party pony shook her head sympathetically. "Chik k k krch rch qi ch."

"Kika...?"

"Chk kchq."

"...Rch." With that, the mountain lion turned around and roared. Instantly, the pack of stone felines made speed for the forest in the distance.

The gathered ponies stared at the baker in utter shock.

"....I speak fluent rock."

The alabaster unicorn at the turntables grinned. "PREACH IT SISTER!" Her hoof went down, spinning the discs and turning up the volume. "Let's get this afterparty started!"

***

One moment Rainbow Dash was having the time of her life. And the next her heart froze up in terror.

Her eyes darted round the gathered crowd as the wubs reverberated in her ears. She could feel the tension in the air, as the ponies of Ponyville examined her and her family; she could taste the curiosity radiating from them in continuous waves. The stench of fate assailed her, inevitably drawing toward her certain deredicalination.

"...YOU GUYS ARE SO COOL!"

The stench of fate suddenly smelled a lot better.

"I mean you were riding those mountain lions like WOW and I saw Rainbow Dash go BANG and ohmygosh ohmygosh ohmygosh!" Scootaloo bounced up and down with a maniac grin. "Why did you never tell me your family was so cool?!"

Dash blinked. Her family was... what?

"Well, because she doesn't like wearing the fancy dresses." Dazzler Prism trotted up with a sly smirk. "Shouldn't you be in class, little filly?"

"Well, Miss Cheerilee decided we could all come to the party to meet the archduchess of Cloudsdale." The pegasus filly pointed to her schoolteacher, who was busy shepherding a large group of fillies out of a nearby building. "We're supposed to write a report on what she actually does... do you know who she is?"

The two pegasi shared an amused look. "Well, Scoots... this is my grandma, Dazzler Prism. And... um..." She rubbed the back of her head. "How... exactly do you feel about me being a... noblepony?"

"Well, you fight mountain lions." Scootaloo shrugged. "What's being a noblepony have to do with that?"

"So... I'm still, you know, awesome?"

"Uh, yeah? That's never going to change." The filly gave her a weird look. "You feeling okay? That frilly lacy stuff isn't cutting off your blood circulation, is it?"

Dash laughed. "Nah, I just wanted to make sure everypony still saw me the same way as before. You know. So they knew I'm awesome."

"I'm afraid I have to change my opinion of you, miss Dash."

The assembled pegasi turned to the new speaker, a brown earth pony giving the cerulean mare a disapproving look over her glasses.

"You've been paying taxes using commoner laws." The mayor raised a critical eyebrow. "I may have to reimburse you."

For a moment, there was silence.

Then Rainbow Dash broke out in a grin. "Tell you what, let me keep my job and we'll call it even."

Coda

Rainbow Dash finished another slice of cake, looking around her with an expression somewhat akin to amazement. Her family, mingling with her friends. Not the Canterlotian 'let's get connections' kind of mingling either; no, this was the genuine kind where everypony wanted to just talk and... well, hang out.

"Hey Rainbow Dash!"

The pegasus turned to her egghead friend. "Oh, hey there Twilight. What's up?"

"Well, if you're not too busy partying, I just wanted to see if you think I did everything I needed to with the weather." She gestured at the clouds. "I've read a lot of books, and the team was quite cooperative but this is the first time I--"

A blue hoof cut her off. "It's fine! Don't worry, Twilight, it's perfect." Dash smirked. "Well, a few things are different then the checklist, but most of that relates to... well..."

She flicked a wing at where her cousin was chatting with Scootaloo.

"Seriously, though. How did Pinkie arrange this entire thing without me noticing?"

"You were too busy moping to notice." The pink pony bounded up with a grin. "I don't like seeing frowny faces, but I have to admit that it helps make a surprise party a surprise."

"I guess that makes sense."

"Now I have one really big important ultrasuperduper important question that I want to ask you, and I want you to answer with complete utter total honesty and truthyness. Are you ready for this?"

"...you're going to ask why I didn't tell you I was a duchess."

"WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME YOU WERE PART SNAKEYBIRD THING?!"

The pegasus blinked. "Er, what?"

"Your mane," Twilight explained casually. "It means you're part Quetzalcoatl. And, well, a lot of the Quetzalcoatl were granted duchies for their actions in the Era of Discord."

"Wait, seriously? I'm a duchess because of something some snakybird thing did thousands of years ago?"

"...Yeah pretty much."

"That explains a lot."

"Wait." Pinkie tilted her head. "You didn't know you were part snakybird thing?"

"Nah, I just thought the rainbow mane was just something we had, you know?" Dash grinned, pulling on a fetlock thoughtfully. "Part snake, huh?"

Twilight rolled her eyes. "Quetzalcoatl. Quite a few generations removed."

"...Still neat." The pegasus shrugged. "Wow, you learn something new every day."

"Why would you want to be part snake anyway? Snakes are freaky!"

"No, Twilight, you think snakes are freaky. I like 'em. They're awesome. Not radical, though."

"So you didn't know you were part snakeybird thing?" Pinkie asked.

"Nope, had no idea."

"Oh, alright then."

"My, this is quite the smashing party!" Rarity walked up, giving the weathermare a coy look. "And it's all thanks to you, darling. So... why didn't you tell us you were a duchess?"

The pegasus sighed. "I... look. I just... It doesn't fit who I am. I mean, I... Okay. I was embarrassed, I guess." She kicked the ground awkwardly. "I mean... I thought if everypony knew about this... I'm wearing a tiara for crying out loud!"

Twilight frowned. "What's wrong with tiaras?"

"How many awesome pegasi have you seen wearing tiaras?!"

"I've see you wear a tiara," Pinkie replied brightly, "and you're pretty awesome!"

Rainbow Dash stared at her, uncomprehending.

"I believe what Pinkie is trying to say is that your nature is not in what you do, but in how you do what you do." Rarity smiled. "When I see you wearing that tiara, I don't see you as... well, as a soft-spoken fashion obsessed mare. I see you as one of the pegasus warriors of old. I see nobility, true nobility, not the kind that Blueblood purports to have, but the kind that is worth praising precisely because the one with it will do anything for their companions."

"You'll never be Duchess Silverhoof to us," Twilight agreed. "You'll always be Rainbow Dash, world's most awesome pegasus."

Pinkie bounced up and down with a wild grin. "Twenty percent cooler in ten seconds flat!"

"...Thanks, guys. You have no idea what that means to me."

"Mind you, Dashiel is a rather elegant name. Perhaps I should use it more often, seeing as we're dating."

"What? OH! That thing at the--Look, um, Rarity, that, uh, that wasn't--"

"Wasn't what? Genuine?" The fashionista pouted. "I'm hurt, Dashiel. I truly am."

"....you're just having me on, aren't you."

***

The nobles of Cloudsdale smiled, danced, hugged, and eventually dispersed throughout the day. when the time finally came for Rainbow Dash to say goodbye to her namesake, there was much hugging, most of it genuine, some of it awkward. Dazzler Prism had given her action-obsessed granddaughter a bit of advice; "If anypony comes by asking for favors, not help, just tell them you'll look into it. If they keep pressing, actually look into it. They're probably the cause of the problem."

That had been some surprisingly good advice.... then again, grandma was always a surprising mare.

Now she relaxed with her friends in Sugarcube corner, still wearing her dress and most of her finery. She'd taken off the slippers though. Those things were just irritating.

A smile quirked onto her face. "Hey everypony?"

Applejack turned to her, shaking her mane loose from the style it had been in. "Yeah Dash?"

"I just thought of something. See, you all know my big secret. Out in the open, yadda yadda yadda." She leaned forward, still grinning. "I think it's only fair that you all let me know one of yours."

Silence filled the room.

The pegasus continued to smirk.

"...er..." Applejack was the first to speak up. "Um... Ah, uh... Ah kinda, ya know, collect.... doilies."

And with that, the dam burst.

"I... well, I am something of a fan of the electronic music genre. Wubs, and... all that, it's actually rather conducive to making dresses."

"Okay, so my favorite food? Asparagus. I tried making an asparagus cake once, but the Cakes said it tasted awful and I guess they were right but I just can't help but like ASPARAGUS!"

"Well, I... have a small recording studio under my cottage, where, I, um, make musical albums and, um, my publisher says I'm almost as popular as DJ PON-3."

Rarity blinked. "Wait wait wait. Are you... are you saying that you're Mama Tomcat?!"

"Menea esa cola hacia mí, corcel, porque yo seré quien la encadenará." Fluttershy blushed lightly as she sang.

"I know this is going to sound rather... fanish, but I have all your albums! Are you working on a new one?"

"Well, yes. I... could give you a signed copy from the first edition line, if, um, if you like."

Rainbow Dash couldn't help but giggle at the absolutely elated expression on the fashionista's face.

"Come on, Twilight." Applejack gave the librarian a friendly nudge. "All of us have gone, it's yer turn."

"Oh! Um, well, I.... I kinda have a cosplay hobby." The unicorn giggled. "I like to dress up in period accurate costumes of famous historical figures, and I like to check the costumes myself or even make them--"

"Everypony knows about that," Rainbow interrupted.

"What? No they don't."

"Uh, yeah, ever since Nightmare Night they've figured it out."

Twilight's eyes narrowed to pinpricks. "You're... joking. Please, please tell me you're joking."

"She's not joking," Pinkie replied, deathly serious.

The protegee of Celestia accepted this new knowledge with the dignity and aplomb that befitted her position.

That is to say, she fainted.

Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes. "Wow. Such a drama queen."