Chapters It’s been an interesting year since I returned to Equestria. Between getting some negative press following Princess Celestia giving me a public pardon, and re-integrating into pony society, things had been exciting.
But none of that compared to being with Fluttershy.
She was so different from her human counterpart; she’s a little more determined and less shy about voicing her opinions, but still maintains the same soft spoken and kind nature.
However, there was one major difference between the two: Fluttershy’s ‘curse’. Every full moon she would undergo a change to a more feral form, almost vampiric in nature. It was a holdover from an incident with some vampire fruit bats at Sweet Apple Acres before I had returned.
Yet, it didn’t bother me when I learned of it. She was still my Fluttershy, and I loved her regardless. We also discovered that the more we shared our love, the easier it was to control her impulses and ease her conscience.
Eventually our relationship deepened and I asked for her hoof in marriage. It seemed to be enough to banish the feral mind of the bat, leaving Fluttershy in control again. Yet we both wondered if the bat was lingering deep within, waiting for an excuse to re-emerge.
“Are you ready?” I asked, looking to my fiancé.
She stared at the mirror, swallowing a nervous lump in her throat. “No.”
“You don’t have to come with me, you know. I’ll only be gone a day.”
Fluttershy lowered her head, allowing her mane to slip in front of her eyes. “I know,” she sighed. “But I want to go. It sounds like fun.”
“Just remember, there’s going to be another you there,” Twilight said, stepping into the room with a packed saddlebag. “It takes a bit of getting used to.”
I leaned into Fluttershy. “There’s nopony quite like you, and that’s the way I like it.” The blush that appeared on her face was beautiful. “Besides, we’ve been using the journal to keep in touch with them.”
“And delivering the new one you and Twilight made,” Fluttershy reminded me.
“Well,” Twilight said. “Time to go.” She spared us a smile before charging into the mirror.
I shook my head. “She’s going to trip one of these days.”
We trotted forward, and I felt the whisper soft touch of Shy’s wing as she stayed close to me. I went first, sliding through the surface of the glass. A pins and needles sensation set in and an eerie chill seeped into my body. Vertigo hit a moment later, but I was already passing through the other side, hands going forward to catch myself as I stumbled.
I began to right myself when I felt a body collide with me. I instinctively reached out to catch Fluttershy as she was ejected from the portal.
“You ok?” I asked.
She was too preoccupied to answer. She was staring at her hands, taking in the foreignness of them. Meanwhile, all I could focus on was her appearance. To see her as a human was like discovering her all over again.
Her hair was a bit darker and her skin held a slightly lighter hue. Her eyes were also purple instead of their usual blue. As for clothing, Fluttershy had ended up with a pair of ripped skinny jeans, a blouse with a decidedly gothic feel, and a dark coat of wool that reached to her hips. Hanging against the hollow of her throat was a pendant I had given her as an engagement offering, though it had changed to fit her new appearance.
“This is strange,” she said, her voice a little deeper than normal but nowhere near as husky as her fully transformed state. I caught the slightest hint of her fangs in her mouth as she spoke. She continued to curl her fingers, testing the feel of the new appendages.
Twilight looked at her and frowned before glancing at the sky. “I forgot that the moon phases are out of sync on this side.”
I followed her gaze, seeing a bright full moon glittering high in the night sky.
“Well horseapples,” I muttered, glancing at Fluttershy. “Do you want to head back?”
She shook her head. “No,” she decided. “I don’t feel any different, despite how I look.”
She looked me directly in the eyes and I waited for the Stare to connect.
Nothing.
“I think I’ll be alright tonight.”
She then stood up, revealing that she wore thick-soled boots with many buckles encasing them.
“Twilight! Sunset!” screamed a cheery voice I’d never forget. I turned and braced myself for the incoming crushing hug from Pinkie Pie. Her arms somehow managed to wrap me, Twilight, and a shocked Fluttershy in their grip. “I missed you guys soooo much!” she squealed while holding us in her impossibly strong grip.
“Pinkie,” I gasped. “Down, girl. We need air.”
She put us down and finally noticing the third member of our group. “Is that Fluttershy?” Pinkie gasped.
Fluttershy nodded, a small semblance of her meekness showing through. Pinkie gave her a once over and whistled. “It won’t be hard telling you two apart.” She held her chin in thought. “Though we should still find a nickname or something so we don’t confuse you.”
“Just them?” I asked, glancing at Twilight.
“Nah,” Pinkie followed my glance. “SciTwi’s fine with her nickname. Unless she wants to be called Sparky.”
Twilight waved her hands. “No, thank you.”
“Well, come on then!” Pinkie skipped towards the parking lot. “We’ve got pizza ordered and Dashie will totally want to check out those threads, pony Shy!”
Fluttershy tilted her head.
“Pony Shy?”
I reached over and grabbed her hand.
“Well,” I whispered, knowing she’d hear me. “She’s not wrong.”
When she grinned at the comment, I caught another hint of her fangs, which sent a tingle up my spine. I could feel the phantom sensation of them grazing my neck.
Shame we’d be surrounded by friends all night. I’d kind of like to see if that spot on her back was still as sensitive as it was back home. Though maybe if I was subtle enough about it…
My grin grew to match Fluttershy’s.
“So, you two are engaged?” Rarity squealed in delight. Her eyes scanned our hands before she frowned. “But where…”
I giggled. “Rings are something of a tricky thing for ponies, Rarity.” I pulled Fluttershy - my Fluttershy, that is - closer as we talked. “Usually only Unicorns get them as horn decorations. I gave her the necklace she’s wearing instead.”
The fashionista leaned forward and held up a hand. “May I?” she asked.
Fluttershy nodded, and leaned forward and offered the jeweled end of her necklace. Rarity took the pendant in her palm and examined it closely. She cooed at the gemstone and released it.
“That is just precious!” She gave me a sly look. “And putting your personal mark within hers is such a cute statement! But first, I must ask about those clothes! How positively avant-garde! I wonder why the portal chose to give those to you.”
We shifted uncomfortably for a moment. The entire story of Fluttershy’s ‘curse’ hadn’t been related just yet. We had been saved from having to explain the difference in appearance by virtue of the Twilights having enough visible differences that it was merely passed off as portal shenanigans.
“It’s just what the portal gave me,” she said quietly. “I do kind of like it, even if some of the sensations are unusual.”
“I imagine going from hooves to hands could be a bit distressing,” Rarity admitted. She looked over at Princess Twilight. “And to imagine her going out with Princess Luna! Seems I have to corner her a little later and get that story too.”
Fluttershy and I looked at each other and just shrugged.
“Speaking of stories,” I asked, leaning forward. “SciTwi and Applejack? How’d that happen?”
“Oh, that’s a long story, but not mine to tell, I’m afraid.” Rarity crossed her arms and turned slightly away. “She made me promise not to.”
“Twilight?” Fluttershy asked.
“Applejack.” With a sigh, Rarity turned back towards us. “She seemed unimpressed with my color commentary.”
“By which you mean you exaggerated things a bit, didn’t you?” I mused.
“Well, excuse me if I feel that Twilight and Applejack’s way of putting things are just so…” she flipped her hand a few times, as though searching for a word. “Dry! It’s simply not within me to tell such a boring tale.”
I hid a smile under my hand as she fumed. Rarity may not have spread gossip at CHS - unlike my former self - but she certainly loved hearing it. I suspect that part of her wanting to embellish her renditions was based out of her own continuing unattached self. Though her expectations were so high that I doubt anyone would ever pass muster.
“So, what exactly goes on in one of these slumber parties?” Fluttershy crossed her legs and rested a hand on my thigh as she leaned back. Her posture was relaxed and calm, curious but keeping her eyes on Rarity’s forehead out of habit. Her Stare would enthrall others when under her moon’s curse, so she never met anypony’s eyes directly those nights.
“Well, we have horribly unhealthy food, play silly games and swap stories.” Rarity primped her hair for a moment. “And sometimes our Fluttershy and I, and Sunset in the past, will do our nails or each other’s hair. What are Equestrian slumber parties like?”
“Pretty much the same,” I replied. “Though less nail and hair things. The only pony I know personally that is obsessive about her hooves is the pony you. Since we walk on ours, I don’t see the purpose since if I’m dressing up I can put a nice pair of horseshoes on.”
“Or fly,” Fluttershy purred.
“I suppose that makes sense,” Rarity mused. She was about to continue when a pair of pink arms wrapped around her.
“Hey, guys!” Pinkie said as she hopped over the back of the couch Rarity was sitting on. “What’cha talking about?”
“Oh, just catching up,” Rarity said. “I haven’t had as much time to send missives through the journal as others have. It’s nice to talk with Sunset again, and meet her…what is the correct term again?”
“Well, technically fiancée, but marefriend can work too.” I said.
“Oh,” Pinkie said. “I was hoping you’d find out why Ponyshy is all vampy and stuff.”
I felt Fluttershy tense, her hand clamping onto my thigh. As she shrank slightly in her seat, I cleared my throat.
“What makes you say that, Pinkie?”
“Well, duh!” the baker replied, suddenly next to Fluttershy. “She’s got the totally classic vampire look. Plus, she’s not meeting anyone’s eyes but not out of shyness like ours.” She reached up and pushed on Fluttershy’s lip a bit. “Plus her teeth are all pointy now.”
“They are not all pointy,” Shy said as she pushed Pinkie’s hand away gently.
“Come on, tell us!” Pinkie said. “Did you get bitten by a vampire pony?”
“No,” she sighed.
“Did you eat a vampire?”
“No, Pinkie," I told her. “Wait, what?”
“What about mmmphh!” Her next question was silenced by Applejack’s hand clamping over her mouth.
“How’s about you let them tell the story on their terms?” the farm girl asked, and I noticed that Pinkie’s antics had drawn everyone’s attention, and the look of excitement in Rainbow’s eyes was a little scary to me, and I wasn’t even the focus.
“It was my fault,” Princess Twilight said. “A spell that had an unintended side effect. We managed to reverse most of it, but…” She trailed off and looked away.
“It’s mostly temporary,” I added. “Full moons bring it out, but she’s in control the whole time.”
“And I don’t drink blood,” she said, looking straight at Rainbow. “Or any animals..”
SciTwi had walked over to her counterpart and was speaking quietly to her. I couldn’t make it out, but the way the scientist was rubbing the back of the royal, she was trying to console her. I frowned. She hadn’t seemed upset, but did she still bear guilt for her part?
Fluttershy squeezed my thigh again, getting my attention, and I looked at her. She flicked her eyes towards her counterpart and I saw something I didn’t expect.
She was smiling at us.
The Difference Between Us
"What's got you so happy?" I asked the human Fluttershy later that night.
"I'm not sure what you mean." She responded softly.
"You've been smiling at us all night," I said, giving her a smile of my own. "So spill!"
"It's just, well," she rubbed her arm. "I've never seen you so happy and I'm honestly really glad for that. There was always that little part of you that held back when you lived here. Especially around me."
I winced, thinking I had hidden that better from the girls. "Listen, about that..."
She waved me off. "I understand perfectly." She lifted her gaze to mine and I saw the same forgiveness my Fluttershy had offered when I had first returned to Equestria. "And it's alright. I forgave you a long time ago."
I felt a little choked up as I leaned forward and gave her a hug.
"Thanks, Shy, that means a lot to me."
When we separated, I sat back and sighed contently. This had been a great night so far. As SciTwi returned, I noted the lack of her counterpart.
"Where's Twilight?" I heard Applejack ask.
“She said she wanted to get some fresh air, clear her head for a bit.” She snuggled into the farmgirl. “I don’t know if she feels any better though.”
I noticed my Fluttershy stand, a look of worry on her face. "Should we go talk to her?"
"Of course we will." Rarity standing to join her.
"Maybe she just wants to be alone for a minute," Fluttershy said.
I stood. "Let’s let her have her space. If she isn’t back before the food gets here, I’ll go talk to her.”
As we all agreed, I made my way over to SciTwi.
"What were you two talking about?" I asked.
"I just tried comforting her," she said shyly. "I know what it's like to have magic go a little astray and I wanted to let her know she could talk to us. And that you two didn't seem to mind it so much."
I sighed. "She's spent a lot of time trying to undo what happened. Sometimes I think that after working on something for so long you become used to it being there." I looked over at my Fluttershy as she stepped back into the living room. "Sometimes you learn to live with it, sometimes it stops bothering you, and sometimes it becomes a part of who you are."
"And if you don't want it to?" Twilight asked.
"Then you find a way to move past it," Fluttershy said, her steps nearly silent despite her heavy boots. She slipped an arm around my waist. "It took a long time for me to get to this point. It won't happen overnight."
"And you've got friends to help you when things gets tough," I reminded her. “She has gotten better about not overreacting, but…”
“She still has her moments.” Rarity finished.
“Should I go get her?” asked Twilight, nervously smoothing her skirt.
“No, she’ll be fine,” I said. “If she needs air, then it’s fine. She’s a big mare... er girl. She can take care of herself.”
But after receiving the stack of pizzas Pinkie had delivered, the Princess was still absent.
“I’ll let Twilight know dinner’s here,” Rainbow said. She hadn’t been gone long before she returned, a look of confusion on her face. “She’s not here.”
“What do you mean?” SciTwi said. “We sat on the porch and talked and she said she wanted to clear her head.”
“Oh, my,” my Fluttershy whispered, sounding like her old self. “Twilight likes to walk to clear her head sometimes.”
I felt my eyes widen. While we weren’t in a dangerous neighborhood, I knew my old place wasn’t too far away and it tended to be a rough area. “Maybe we should go find her.”
“You want help?” Dash asked.
“It might be better if it’s just Shy and I. We know how she thinks -- usually -- and might be better at talking to her about it, especially if she is feeling down about us.”
“I don’t know,” my Fluttershy muttered. “We might make it worse.”
“I’ll go too,” Rainbow said. “Three pairs of eyes are better than two.”
Before the other girls could follow in their declarations, the human Fluttershy spoke up.
“If it’s alright, I’ll stay here in case she comes back.”
Pinkie smiled and flounced over to her. “I’ll keep you company, Shy!”
“I mean, um,” Fluttershy hesitated. “It is your house, after all, so...”
We decided to split up with Shy, Rarity, and myself heading for the mirror while Twilight, Applejack,and Dash went towards observatory. It was a comforting place for this world's Twilight. So it was a decent place to investigate.
“So, I must ask,” Rarity said as we waited for the light at a crosswalk to change. “How much of a change is this, ahem, condition of yours?”
I frowned and was about to protest the question when Fluttershy turned to face us. In the red light of the don't cross light, her face had taken a slightly sharper cast, her eyes glinting purple under her brows and bangs.
“It’s still me, underneath.” She gestured to her face. “The teeth, the eyes, they’re just a little different. I can see better at night, I can hear and smell better, and I’m a little stronger. Other than that, I don’t think there’s that much different.”
“Well, you act much more assured than our own Fluttershy.” The light turned green and we began to cross. “She isn’t quite as forward as you appear to be.”
“The difference between us is likely that she hasn’t gone through some of what I have.” I felt her fingers thread through mine, giving them a gentle squeeze. “Sunny helped me through some of it, and all my friends help me through my hard days.”
“Or nights,” I added. Out of the corner of my eye I saw a quartet of rough looking teens sitting on a stoop. I vaguely remembered them from CHS. If I had to liken them to an Equestrian counterpart, there was only one tribe that came to mind.
Diamond Dogs.
I stared at them from the corner of my eye as we passed, silently wondering if Twilight had come this way. She was always confident in her safety since she had become an Alicorn, the increase in magic and addition of Earth Pony traits boosting her strength. But that magic didn’t translate perfectly over on this side. Human dimorphism tended towards mares being smaller and weaker than stallions. It didn’t make sense to me but that was just how it was here.
We had gone maybe a few more steps before I heard a muffled cry come behind us.
As we turned, we saw Twilight struggle from from the largest of the Diamond dogs. He'd been shielding her from our sight. The fear in her eyes sent a bolt of anger coursing through me as I stepped towards the group.
“Let her go.” I growled.
The smallest teen smirked. “Why should we? Found her wandering all alone. It’s not safe for pretty girls to wander at night.”
“My friend said to unhand her, you ruffians!” Rarity shot. I could practically feel the hate bubbling from her.
I nearly took another step forwards when a pair of arms looped down, one snaking around my waist while a large hand clapped over my mouth. As I was hoisted from my feet, I saw Rarity entrapped within another of the teenager's grips.
“Put me down,” Fluttershy whispered in a slow, even tone. I recognized it from the times she had accidentally used it on me.
She had just used her Gaze, the hypnotic upgrade of her Stare. I twisted my head around in time to see her pat the gang member that had tried to capture her on the shoulder as he looked forward with a slack-jawed expression.
She strode forward, locking eyes with the Diamond Dog that held me, her eyes glowing in the shadow cast by the building. I avoided meeting her eyes out of instinct.
“Put my friend down, would you?” she purred. “She’s soooo much trouble to hold on to. It’d make me happy to see her free. Don’t you want to make me happy?”
I shivered at the words. Even without the enthralling gaze, a part of me would do anything to make her happy after hearing that voice.
The goon's grip slackened as I was placed back upon my feet. I instinctively wiped a sleeve across my mouth, to rid away the taste of his clammy hands.
No additional words were required in order to get Rarity free, as the goon's grip slackened. Fluttershy then steeled her gaze, approaching the Diamond Dogs with a seductive sway to her step.
I leant over to Rarity. “Are you ok?” I whispered.
“I'm afraid my clothing may need a cleansing after being crushed by that cretin. But I'm no worse for wear," she muttered, brushing ineffectively at a smudge on her white jacket. "Do you know what Fluttershy is doing?”
I watched as she spoke to the group surrounding Twilight. They all took on a distracted look, eyes glassy as she spoke softly. I noticed she avoided looking at Twilight directly, likely trying to spare her from the worst effects of the Gaze. It almost seemed to work, until the burliest of the group shook his head and snarled at Fluttershy.
“What d’ya think yer doing?” he spat, turning and gripping Twilight's arm tightly. “I ain't gonna be scared by some slip of a girl.”
I saw Fluttershy tense.
“Let her go,” she growled.
The Diamond Dog laughed at her, shoving Twilight back towards his cronies and advanced on Fluttershy. “And I ain't gonna let you get away with speaking to me like you just did.”
Despite being around the same height, his bulkier frame gave him an intimidating look. I began to dart over to help her fend him off.
I hadn’t taken more than a few steps before Fluttershy was swallowed by a small cloud of inky black smoke. We all froze, and I couldn't figure out what had just happened. Then the thumping of wings drew my attention upwards.
She was held aloft by leathery wings, and her ears sprouting from the top of her head, large and tufted. Her eyes gleamed in the night sky with a menacing glare that made me recall the early nights of our relationship, seeing her transformation for the first time.
The bat had returned.
She furled her wings and dropped straight to the ground, landing with a thud before her aggressor, the cloud of smoke ushered away in the wake of her descent. She stalked forward, closing the distance between them until they were almost nose to nose.
“You look so intimidating, hurting a harmless girl. It’s a good look on you, but do you know what the difference between us is?” Her hand shot out and fingers curled around the Diamond Dog’s neck just under his jaw. “I always follow through with my threats.”
She lifted the man into the air as though he weighed as much as Angel Bunny. Her wings spread out again and she lifted up into the air, the struggling gang member clutched in her hand. The smell of fear, and a few other less pleasant odors, began to reach my nose as he kicked and struggled.
“Lemme go!”
“Oh, I will.” Fluttershy flicked her bangs behind her shoulder. “The height of which I do so depends on you.”
They continued lifting higher, feet now at eye level. I was worried that Shy had been completely sublimated and was intent on actually harming this challenge to her authority.
“Fluttershy?” I whispered.
"Let'r go! Let'r go!" a terrified cry sounded out.
This was immediately followed by him being dropped gracelessly against the pavement below. He remained unharmed, however, as he stumbled to his feet and broke into a full blown retreat. This was soon followed by his gang as not a Diamond Dog opted to linger behind.
With her work done, Fluttershy drifted back towards the ground, her wings furling against her back.
I took a cautious step forward. “Fluttershy?”
She turned to face me, so I approached with my gaze away from her potentially hypnotic gaze and my hands out to the sides, like a zoo keeper approaching an especially problematic animal.
“It’s just me, Songbird,” I soothed, using one of the pet names I had for her. “It’s ok.”
She broke out laughing as her wings vanished.
“Of course it is, Sunny!” she said, her voice returning to her normal tone. “I’m still your Fluttershy, after all.”
“So, what did you think about your first Pinkie Pie slumber party on the other side?” I asked as we stepped out of the cottage, the warmth of the sun bathing my coat.
Fluttershy shook her wings for a moment and sighed in contentment.“It was interesting. It’s unreal how alike they are to our friends here.”
I nodded, stopping for a moment. The glittering walls of Twilight’s castle were visible in the distance.
“Are you ok, Sunset?”
I nodded absently. “I’m still puzzled by your transformation.” I looked at her as we turned the bend into Ponyville. “We’ve known that the bat has always been there, on the fringes, but you’ve been able to keep her in check lately.”
“And you’re worried that she may slip free again and wreak havoc?”
I shook my head. “I trust you, Shy, you know that.” I glanced again at the glittering spire of Twilight’s castle. “But you know she still thinks of it as a curse. One that she inflicted on you. How long do you think it’ll be until she starts going Twily-nanas again over a cure?”
Fluttershy sighed, her wings rippling. “Should I talk to her?”
I shook my head and pecked her on the cheek.
“No, I’ll do it. I might be able to get through to her.”
When I stepped into the library, I had to stop for a moment. Books laid around haphazardly, scrolls and scraps of paper were strewn about, and an uncharacteristically subdued Twilight was flipping through a bundle of papers, barely looking at their contents. Her mane was mussed and her eyes had bags large enough to carry Rarity’s daily shopping.
“Is this a bad time?” I asked.
“Sunset! No, what can I do for you?”
I went and sat down in front of her desk. “How long have we been friends, Twilight?”
“Three years, four months, ten days…”
I waved a hoof, cutting her off. “And how long have I been back in Equestria?”
“Eighteen months tomorrow.”
“Already?” I murmured. “And do you trust me now?”
“I trust you! I trust all my friends.”
“No, you don’t.” I said flatly.
I doubt she could’ve been any more shocked if I had revealed that I was a Changeling right then and there. She just stared, jaw working like she was trying to say something.
“If you really trusted us, you wouldn’t have spent months trying to find a way to reverse the spell on Fluttershy. Especially after we told you that we were fine and had her condition under control, and especially after it helped save you two nights ago.” I floated a scroll over and skimmed the hastily written notes in the margins. “Keegin’s Sphere of Annulment? Really, Twilight?”
“It works to neutralize curses and hexes on ponies. I thought that maybe…”
“Twilight, stop. Please.” I lowered the scroll and looked at her. “Fluttershy and I are fine. We have it under control and it doesn’t matter! Why are you so determined to try to change that?”
Her wings flared as she stood, an anguished look on her face. “Because it’s my fault!”
I blinked. “What?”
“It’s my fault, Sunset!” She slumped down to the floor. “I made Fluttershy endure countless nights of transforming into a monster, and it’s my responsibility to fix it!”
Tears streamed down her muzzle and she hung her head. Her voice dropped to near nothing.
“And I keep failing her.”
I approached her and draped a foreleg over her withers. “You aren’t failing her, Twilight. You’ve been there for her. It isn’t some countercurse that kept her strong in the nights, it was knowing that you stayed by her side despite it. And now she has a hold on her feral side and has come to accept it.”
“Accept that she could become a monster?”
“Sunny won’t let that happen, Twilight,” came a soft voice from the door.
I looked up to see Fluttershy standing there.
She walked in, a soft smile on her face. “Neither will Starlight, or Applejack. And I know you feel sorry for what happened, but you don’t bear any responsibility for me.”
She came over and sat on the other side of Twilight, draping a wing across her back.
“And you don’t need to feel sorry. I’m happier now than I have been for a long time. That’s how I stay in control. My friends give me strength and support and keep me centered.”
Twilight clung to her, tears leaking free.“But it bothers me, Fluttershy.”
“I know it does,” the soft voice was barely audible. “But I forgave you a long time ago, and if it hadn’t happened, I would never have been able to get together with Sunset. Can you at least try to forgive yourself, for me?”
We held our friend tightly as she cried herself out.
I laid in bed that night, snuggled close to Fluttershy. The moon shone into our window with an argent glow, glinting across our manes.
“Do you think she’s accepted it?” she asked.
“Maybe. She at least cleaned up the library.” I sighed and ran a hoof along her side. “But who knows how long until it sets in.”
“We’ll just have to be patient. After all, look at how long it took her to relax enough to go to the spa with Rarity and I.”
“True,” I murmured, feeling sleep tug at my eyes.
“Sunny?”
“Yeah?”
“I love you.”
“Love you too Fluttershy.”
