You Don't Want to be Rescued?

Chapters

Chapter 1: It’s not weird to love gold... a lot
Chapter 2: I didn’t mean to steal you... just your gold
Chapter 3: A dragon should be clothed... especially in front of a princess
Chapter 4: Not all Princesses are girly... or kidnap victims
Chapter 5: A bath is quite therapeutic... when not interrupted
Chapter 6: When Dragons snap... they break
Chapter 7: Out of the frying pan... and into the fire
Chapter 8: Peace loved... is peace lost
Chapter 9: The Dragon... and the Amazon
Chapter 11: Applejack... When she was young
Chapter 10: The secrets we hold... and the lie we live

Chapter 1: It’s not weird to love gold... a lot

The hallways were dark in the castle that night, with more than a few of the torches having already burnt out. A guard would eventually make his way to them and replace them with fresh ones, but until then the stony corridors would be pitch black, perfect for a hooded figure to slink through the shadows unseen. The hooded pony moved like a thief in the night, footsteps barely making a sound, never walking in the light as they expertly avoided all the patrols and sentries. It was like they weren’t even there.

The unknown pony turned one final corner and saw their goal: The heavy steel doors of The Treasury. Five strong locks bound the door shut, along with two armed guards. Or well, that was usually the case. At the current moment, both of the guards were asleep. By their feet was a pie tin with the last scraps of a blueberry pie. The hooded pony walked between them, being cautious not to wake them up before pulling out a couple of small pins. They fiddled with each of the locks, opening them up in seconds and carefully taking them off before opening the door and slipping in.

Even in the darkness of the room, the glittering wonderland of gold inside shined brightly. In the large keep were mountains of gold coins, gold bars, gemstones, artifacts, and everything else that was shiny and precious. It was the kingdom’s wealth, the treasures of the crown and it was all just sitting there.

The hooded pony took down her hood, letting her brilliant purple mane free and then let down the rest of her cloak. The old drab fell around her pristine white ankles, and the pony shivered slightly from the sudden cold. After all, that cloak had been her only clothing and now the pony stood there naked before the many piles of treasure. Her heart was pounding heavily, almost violently as she took a quick step towards the gold, then another and finally jumped arms wide into the pile, grabbing two heavy fistful of valuable coins and tossing them up into the air and letting them rain down on her bare body.

“Oh goddess it’s been too long~!” The pony squealed, rubbing her body against the precious metals. “A girl should never have to go this long without indulging herself.”

She rolled around on the bits, playfully burying herself in a mixture of gold, rubies and diamonds. The mare whimpered pleasantly as the cool touch of the coins washed over her body. Even though she had barely started she could feel herself getting close to her climax already. Her eyes darted around the treasure trove, looking for something to push her over the edge. That’s when she spotted the heavy-set fire ruby just within arms reach. The mare grabbed the stone and began to kiss it. Her tongue ran down the circumference, taking in the bitter flavor that she loved so much before hastily sending it down south to her own treasure. The lapped-up ruby grinded softly against her folds, and she finally gave in with a loud coo that echoed throughout the treasury. Satisfied, the pony slouched back into the pile, catching her breath as she relaxed in the mountain of gold.

“Ah~” She sighed, looking at her beautiful reflection in the cum-soaked ruby in her hand. “Too long indeed.”

This was Princess Rarity of the Platinum Family... And she loved treasure on a sexual level.

Rarity knew she was in love with treasure ever since she was a young girl and was given her first gold coin by her father. She remembered being in awe at the shininess of it, the way it sparkled and gleamed in the sun and how even in the dark it still kept its beauty. To this day she still polishes and waxes her first coin daily, keeping it in a lock box in her room.

Of course as she grew older, Rarity would acquire more and more treasure and her feelings towards it would grow as well. What started out as a simple admiration was like a crush by the time she was eight years old, she would spend her days having tea parties with bars of silver and diamonds. By the time she was eleven, she wondered what it would be to be Mrs. Rarity Satchel of Sapphires. When she was fourteen, a rather handsome and exotic amethyst-emerald-like crystal stole her first kiss, and when she was nineteen, she had deflowered herself with a solid gold scepter with pearl rigids within this very treasure hall.

She snuggled up in the hall, smiling as she reminisced about better times. If she could stay here forever she would, never leaving the company of the shiny gold that she loved and that had loved her back. Of course even as she drifted in and out of sleep, Rarity knew she would have to leave before the sun rose, and begrudgingly pulled herself away from the mountains of coins and gems. Even as she walked away, a few bits still clung to her as if begging her to not leave, but she had to. She wiped away a sorrowful tear before dawning her coat and exiting back into the halls. The two guards at the door were still asleep thankfully. The sleeping potion she had used to douse their pie had done its job wonderfully and she had no problems sneaking through the halls and back to her room just as the sun was coming up.

Quiet as a mouse, she slipped into the massive room where she made her way to the giant bed and fell face first into the fluffy mattress. Even she would admit that the embrace of her cloud-soft bed was nicer than a bed of coins (although just barely) and she almost immediately went to sleep.

Of course, this would be short lived, as hardly twenty minutes later there was a loud pounding on her door.

“Sweetheart! Wake up, Rarity!” a warm, inviting voice called from the otherside. However, when one’s had less than half an hour of sleep, even the most pleasant voices sounds like daggers on a chalkboard.

“I’m sleeping, mother!” Rarity growled, trying to bury her head in a pillow. Maybe she would go away.

There was a loud boom as the doors swung open and a small, plump mare with crazy purple hair waddled inside her room. “Now, now by daughter. A princess mustn’t oversleep--good heavens why are you naked?!”

“Hah?” Rarity wondered, not fully understanding what her mother was talking about until she looked down and saw her boobs just hanging around. “GAH!” She screeched, curling up into a ball and covering herself. In all of her fun last night, she had forgotten to put her pajamas back on! The white mare started to turn red. “I--Uh... you see...” she bit her tongue while trying to come up with an excuse. No pony, not even her parents, knew about her weird fetish and she planned to keep it that way. “It... was... hot?”

Her mother raised an eyebrow. “Was it now?” she asked, gauging her daughter’s reaction. She was hiding something, and her mother’s instinct easily unraveled her lies. “Well, young lady, I can’t say I’m surprised.”

“Y-you can’t?!” Rarity gulped, glancing around her body. Had her mother figured it out? Did she have a coin still stuck to her butt?

“But of course!” Her mother said, beaming all of a sudden. “The prince is a rather dashing stud, isn’t he?”

“Say what now?”

“It’s only natural that you two would want to fool around a little,” the queen giggled to herself a little. “Although you two really couldn’t wait just one more day.”

“One more day?”

“Yes... before your wedding... my you really are tired.”

“Oh, right,” Rarity said with her biggest, fake smile. “The wedding... that’s something that’s happening.”

“Yes, which is why I’m here,” her mother said, walking to her daughter’s wardrobe. “Your father and the groom to be are waiting for you down in the throne room. We need pick out a nice dress for you and get you down there as soon as possible.”

“Yay...” Rarity said with the enthusiasm of a squashed turnip. Even now as she got out of bed to find something to wear she had to choke down her disgust of the whole matter. She was a princess after all, and princesses marry princes, even if a princess’s heart already belonged to a treasure horde and the mere thought of some ‘pony’ defiling her made her want to walk off a cliff. Sure the prince was wealthy but she had such a good thing going with the treasure horde here, and it had taken her two years to find the best route to sneak into the treasury to see her one true love. She’d have to start all over from scratch at this new castle! Possibly years without any conjugal visits to a pile of gold or bits... maybe she would walk off that cliff.

Rarity’s mother pulled two dresses from the massive wardrobe. “Now which one do you think Prince Blueblood will like better? The pink one is cute but the green one just screams spring.”

“Why not black,” Rarity muttered. “Because I feel like I’m going to my own funeral.”

“Oh quit being so dramatic!” Her mother snapped, throwing the pink dress at her. “You’re twenty-six years old! Stop acting like a child!” She took a deep breath, trying her best to calm her nerves. “I understand that you’ve been... reclusive about marriage, but enough is enough! Most girls your age are on their fourth or fifth child and I don’t have a single grandchild to spoil!”

“I know, I know it’s just...” Rarity sighed, racking her brain for a worthwhile excuse. It’s true, she had been putting marriage off for nearly a decade. She had hoped that the legalization of gold marriages would have happened by now but... it wasn’t looking good. “Mother, you know I love you but I just never really saw myself as the marrying type. Besides, you still have Sweetie Belle, I’m sure she’ll flood you with foals to spoil.”

“You don’t care that your seventeen-year old sister is going to be wedded before you?”

“I just said I’m not the marrying type... so no,” Rarity said.

“Well... too bad,” her mother said. “Put on that dress and come down stairs. Your Queen commands it.” With that, the older mare turned in a huff and walked out of the room. “And be quick!

The door slammed behind her and Rarity rolled her eyes as she begrudgingly began to put the pink dress on. “Such a waste of a pretty dress... wasting it on that... ugh!” Just thinking about the groom-to-be was giving her chills, and not the good kind. Even if she wasn’t smitten with gold, this prince her parents were forcing upon her was... just the worst! He was snide, arrogant, and wouldn’t ever shut up about himself. His only redeeming quality was that he was prince of a rather wealthy kingdom, one which probably had a nice, fat treasure room. However, was that really worth it?

When she was finally dressed and her hair combed and styled she looked at herself in the mirror. All things considered she did look rather fabulous, but that was no surprise. Fashion was her second love in life, she loved dresses and doing up her hair in fancy curls... at least marriage couldn’t take that away from her.

Rarity took a deep breath, exhaling all her misery, or at least trying to. It was time to face the music. She left her room and started walking down the halls of the castle... down to the throne room where her family and the jackass were waiting to whisk her away from her beloved. Never again would she sneak through these halls for her secret rendezvous, or spike the guards food with sleeping potions... no, she would be gone... forever... married.

She stopped dead in the hallway.

“I can’t do this!” Rarity cried, turning around and bolting in the opposite direction. “I can’t do this, this is impossible, this is literally impossible! There is no way I can do this!” Down the hallway she ran, retreating to her only place in the castle she felt safe. The princess’s feet took her straight to the treasury. The two guards posted in front were still asleep. She may have overdone it with the sleeping potion this time... hopefully they weren’t asleep forever. Still it made it easy enough to slip past them to be greeted by the mountain of gold and gemstones that she loved.

The mare threw herself on top of the pile, tears beginning to form around her eyes. This was it, wasn’t it? The last time she would ever be able to embrace this sexy heap of treasure. She couldn’t bear the thought of breaking up with all those coins... so many hearts she would break!

“I’m sorry...” she whimpered, her hands slowly twirling around a few thick coins. “I don’t want to do this, but my parents... they, they just don’t understand what I have and that I...” she snuggled her face deeper into the gold. “I want to marry the one that I love. Is that so wrong?”

A few diamonds rolled down the pile, tumbling to the base of the heap, as if even it was crying with her.

Rarity curled up even more into the gold coins. “I want to go away.” She closed her eyes and wished with all her might. “I just wish someone would rescue me.”

As she spoke those words, the whole world seemed to shake around her. Rarity shot up, looking around in terror. Was that an earthquake? Screaming followed the shakes and a loud boom. Were they being attacked?!

“What’s going on?” There were voices from the outside. “Are we being invaded?”

“Worse...” another voice said. “We’re being raided by a--” There was another loud noise. Something was falling apart. “Lock the treasury and come with me, we need to secure the King and his family!”

Lock the treasury... wait. “Huh!?” Rarity gasped. “Wait! Hold on a minute!” she ran to the door, trying to open it. It wouldn’t budge. “Hey! I’m still in here! Help me! I’m a princess and I am in distress!”

A loud growl echoed from what seemed like all around her.

“Oh that can’t be good...” Rarity gulped, hitting the door with all her might. “I have to get out of here!” The roaring sound went off again, this time she could hear it from the other side of the door and growing closer. “Ah...” She turned around, looking for somewhere to hide. “Save me, honey!” She hopped into the largest pile of treasure and burrowed into it like a fox.

The cool embrace of the gold and gemstones offered the princess some comfort in this dire situation. She just had to wait here until all the ruckus calmed down, then she could emerge from the gold, head back to her parents, get married to the... prince... maybe she would just stay here forever.

There was another crash and Rarity curled up tighter in her trove. She couldn’t see, but she was positive that something was in the room now. The mare clasped her mouth shut as loud thuds stormed around her, circling her.

“Please just leave, just leave...” Rarity whispered to herself. The stomping around her suddenly stopped and she waited for something to happen... but it was deathly quiet. Was whoever this was just standing there? She waited and waited but there was nothing... Rarity knew that she shouldn’t take a peek but she couldn’t help it. The mare slowly started to crawl out of the gold to take a tiny peek outside.

What she saw was terrifying. Rarity was watching the countryside zoom along from beneath her from several hundred feet in the air. She was frozen in fear, unable to even scream for her dear life. Her heart was racing at a mile a minute as the turbulence whipped through her hair. The princess tried to scurry back into the treasure trove, and that’s when she saw what was keeping her suspended in the air... massive, scaly, webbed claws. Slowly, she turned her head upwards and was eclipsed by the shadow of a massive beast could block out the sun. It was the only thing that could possibly love gold and treasure more than her...

A dragon. A big, fire breathing dragon.

“Oh good heavens...” Rarity muttered before her eyes fluttered shut and she passed out from the shock.

*****

While the princess was being whisked away by an unknown dragon, things at the castle had slowly began to settle down from all the chaos. The amount of damage that had been done to the castle hadn’t been that bad, except for the east wing where the treasury was. That had been torn apart, and all that was left was rubble and the gold the dragon hadn’t taken.

The guards had done an assessment of the amount taken, and what it would cost to rebuild what had been lost, which was a lot less than they had expected from a dragon attack. It seemed like the beast knew exactly what it wanted. There weren’t even any casualties. In a weird way, this dragon was a pro.

However, even after all the gold was counted and the rubble cleared, they noticed that one very important thing was missing.

“Where is my daughter?!” A large, mustached stallion roared, slamming his fist down on his throne armrest. “Somepony better give me an answer soon or I’m going to start chopping off heads!”

“W-w-we’re still looking, my king!” A very nervous servant trembled. “We’ve just finished up clearing all the rubble and haven’t found any bodies... so that’s good, right?”

The king glared at the poor soul. “My. Daughter. Is. MISSING!” He barked. “My wife is so distraught about all of this that she’s locked herself away and won’t even let me in!” He brushed his face with his hand. “Of all the times for this to happen, why did it have to be now?”

“Well on a positive note...” the servant gulped. “The damages were not as bad as we thought, the gold that was stolen was less than ten percent of the kingdom’s treasure, and no pony was actually hurt. All things considered, this could have gone a lot worse.”

“You really don’t seem to understand... This whole castle could have burnt to the ground for all I care as long as my family was safe!” The king screamed. “You know what? You’ve just lost your head privileges.” He snapped his fingers, summoning two guards. “You two, off with his head.”

“Ah! Wait!” The servant cried. “T-there’s something else! We might have an idea of where she is... but it’s just a theory and I need my head to tell you!”

The king growled to himself. “Fine, hurry up and speak.”

“She... might have been taken by the dragon...”

There was a long silence. The king was frozen on the spot, his brain running through all of the horrible things that could have happened to his beloved first born. He had thought his daughter being crushed was the worst thing that could have happened... but the thought of some terrifying dragon having his little angel in his scaly clutches and doing goddess know what with her... it made him want to puke.

“Find the dragon...”

“My king?”

“FIND THE DRAGON!” The king boomed. “Find it, and bring me back my daughter!”

“Sir, if I may...”

The king turned towards the source of the voice. There, a flashily cladded blonde pony swayed over towards him. The stallion flicked his golden locked, grinning at the king.

“Yes, Prince Blueblood?”

“Allow me to be the one to rescue your daughter,” he said, bowing to him. “She is going to be my future wife and queen after all.”

“Hmm,” The king said. “How noble of you. I like it. Save my daughter and I will be forever in your debt, Prince Blueblood.”
“Consider it done,” he said, unbowing and leaving the throne room, a huge and wicked smile on his face. Once the doors behind him had closed and he was sure he was out of earshot, he began chuckling to himself a little. “Heh, foolish old geezer, like I’d risk my life for anything. This is why we have knights and soldiers, to die for me while their betterens reap the rewards. I wonder just how much gold his daughter’s life is worth, not to mention what I’ll be able to steal after killing that dragon. Hell, he might even give me his other daughter in marriage!”

Blueblood hurried out into the courtyard of the castle where his entourage was waiting for him.

“Gather the troops and wagons,” the prince said. “We’ve have a princess to rescue.”

Author's Note

Frist chapter.
new one next Friday.

Chapter 2: I didn’t mean to steal you... just your gold

Author's Note

I started a ko-fi page. For those of you who don't know what Ko-Fi is, think of it like a tip jar system. If you like what I'm doing, maybe consider throwing a few bucks my way. Chapters will always be free and will come out on schedule, but money is the fuel that could cut those breaks down a little...

Chapter 2: I didn’t mean to steal you... just your gold

Rarity’s entire body was in pain as she slowly regained consciousness. She sat up, her eyes hazy and not fully open but wherever she was it was dark. Her head was spinning, and she ended up slipping while getting up, falling down the pile of gold she was still on. Her head hit the floor rather harshly, and it jolted her awake.

“Ow! Son of a...” She bit her lip as she looked at the grimy stone floor beneath her. “Wait... where am I?” The princess was in a dark, dank chamber. Behind her was the giant pile of treasure from her castle along with... “Sweet heavens...” all her pain went away when she saw the rest of the room. Her treasury was like a valley of gold... what laid before her was an entire ocean! It was as if some glorious genius took her castle, and filled it up with her little metallic beauties. “Ha... ha...” tears started to pour out of her eyes, they were the happiest tears of her life. This was the greatest day of her life. If she had died then she had gone straight to heaven!

The mare couldn’t control herself in front of this gigantic mass of sexy gemstones and gold. Rarity slipped out of her dress and underwear so fast they practically ripped off. She jumped straight into the nearest pile. The tingle of new coins and crystals caressing her skin was the most magical touch she’s felt in ages. She dragged herself around the top of the piles, rolling around on it and rubbing coins in between her thighs.

“This is paradise...” She sighed, rolling onto her back and closing her eyes. She may have no idea where she was or how she ended up here, but if she could spend the rest of her life in this golden nirvana then she would gladly do so, even if it meant starving to death. She would have no regrets. Rarity let out a flutterly moan, not a care in the world on her pile of gold.

She hardly even noticed the sudden vibrations coming from beneath her until the coins around her started rattling like songbirds. The princess opened her eyes and shot up, looking around to see what could be causing all this commotion when there was an eruption of gold right next to her. It nearly knocked the mare over as heavy metal coins rained down everywhere, revealing the creature that had been lurking beneath the treasure, a large figure covered in shiny purple scales and muscles. The beast stretched out his arms, rolling his muscles as he cracked his back a bit before flopping down onto the gold happily and... humming?

His head mere inches from Rarity’s lap, and that’s where she got a better look at his face. Long lizard snout, long green spines, rows of sharp teeth in a grin... there was no doubt in her mind: This was a dragon.

Rarity screamed, of course. Her hellish squeal was like a banshee’s cry that caused the dragon to wake up from his daydream in a panic. The drake nearly jumped six feet in the air, he was so startled. He fell back down on his back, groaning a little in pain. Rarity should have tried to run away, but all she could do pinch her legs together and try to cover herself as she realized she had no clothes on.

The dragon rubbed his head as he got back onto his feet. He had been half submerged in the gold before and Rarity didn’t realize just how... small he was. Granted he looked like he was a good head taller than her but compared to that massive behemoth that snatched her and all that gold he was well, quite petite and naked... oh goddess he was naked as well. Why in all the land was he naked? Rarity tried to keep her gaze eye level and not think about how her treasure may have been having an affair with another.

Slowly,the dragon turned around. Rarity winced a little as she expected glowing red eyes of fury, or savage snarling like a rabid dog. What she wasn’t expecting was the shaky look of fear she saw on his sweaty face. Somehow this carnivorous monster was scared of her?

“W-What are you doing here?” He asked. “How did you find this place?”

“Huh?!” Rarity gawked. That wasn’t the response she was expecting. Are you extra lean or better with hot sauce maybe but... was he being serious? “I... what do you mean what am I doing here? You kidnapped me!”

“What?!” The dragon gasped. “N-no! There must be some sort of mistake! I don’t kidnap ponies! I don’t need that kind of heat! No, clearly you’re a thief trying to steal from my hoard!” He puffed up his chest, trying to look intimidating with his sweaty complexion and distraught eyes. The fact that his dragon meat was flopping around didn’t help either. “Leave now! Or face my wrath!”

“Oh goddess, you’re not going to throw up, are you?” the mare gagged. “That’s disgusting!”

“What? I’m not going to puke!” The dragon said, straining to hold his breath. “I’m appearing large and intimidating to scare you away.”

“Well it looks like you’re about to vomit.”

The dragon exhaled. “Fine, is this better?”

“A little...” Rarity said cautiously. “Still not a thief, still kidnapped by a dragon.”

“I told you, I didn’t kidnap you!” The dragon frowned. “I don’t mean to brag but when it comes to raiding castles’ treasure keeps I’m sort of an expert. I don’t kill anyone, I cause as little damage as possible, I only take four scoops of gold and I DEFINITELY do not take hostages. Besides, I’m sure I’d remember kidnapping somepony.”

Rarity started to turn a little red. The dragon... may be telling the truth. It was unlikely that he knew she was hiding in the gold when he took it. “Oh dear... this is embarrassing.”

“What is?”

“Well... funny story,” she laughed nervously, turning red. “At least I know you didn’t kidnap me... on purpose, that is.”

“What do you mean by that?”

She took a deep breath and put on a smile. “So... I was hiding in the gold when you scooped some up and well...”

“Huh?” the dragon wondered. “What in the hell were you doing in a pile of gold?”

“T-That’s none of your business!” she flustered.

The dragon raised an eyebrow. “Ah? Oh... I see...”

“What?”

“You were stealing from them as well, weren’t you?”

“No! Of course not!” Rarity gasped. “I would never do something so...”

“Bad?”

“I... look, I’m not a thief. You got that, dragon?”

“Hey, what the ‘dragon?’ I have a name, you know,” he said. “It’s Spike. Spike... the dragon.”

“Charmed,” Rarity muttered. “But fine, I am Princess Rarity Platinum of the royal family, the one you just stole a bunch of treasure from.”

Spike paused their for a moment and the two stood their in silence. “Ha!” he blurted out. “That’s funny! But seriously, don’t joke about being a princess. You’re going to give me a heart-attack.”

“I am a princess!” the mare frowned. “If you don’t believe me, I’ll show you!” She turned around, marched down the pile where she had stripped and picked up her clothes and made her way back up. “You see, this is the dress I was wearing--”

“Which you took off and won’t tell me why for some reason...”

“Shut up!” She snapped. Rarity unbundled the lovely gown and quickly squeezed herself back into it. Once it was dawned she gave it a little twirl. “You see? It fits me perfectly. Even if you think I stole this there’s no way it would just randomly fit me. So do you believe me now?”

The dragon was as still as a statue. “A princess... you’re actually... a... princess...”

“Yes, that’s what I’ve been trying to tell you!”

“A princess... I accidently kidnapped... a princess...” he blinked. “Son of a bitch!” He grabbed both sides of his heads, his claws digging into his head, as he went into a full on spiral. “Nonononononono! This isn’t good! This is not good! This is SO bad!” Spike’s breathing started getting heavy and rapid. “I can’t believe I--no, there’s no way...” he glared at Rarity. “You need to leave, right now!”

“Well it’s about time!” Rarity beamed. “Let me just gather my gold up and we’ll be on my way!”

“We don’t have time for that!” Spike snapped. “We need to get you back home now!”

“What?! I’m not leaving my treasure here! You didn’t just kidnap me, you kidnapped Anthony and Antonio and Amy and Allcard and Bianca and Benjaman and Bartholomew and Barry and Carsten and Christopher and Catherine and David and--”

“How many ponies did I grab?!”

“These aren’t ponies, they’re gold bits!”

“You gave them names? That’s insane, there has to be ten thousand coins!”

“You took twenty thousand, four hundred and seventy seven coins, six hundred and twenty one rubies, eighty nine emeralds, four large diamonds and three hundred and sixty nine sapphires!”

“And you named them all?”

“Of course I did!” Rarity frowned. “I love all of them!”

Spike tilted his head in confusion. “Huh? That’s a weird thing to say.”

“No it’s not!” she said. “It’s a perfectly normal thing to say!”

“I mean it’s--Look, it’s not important right now. Do you know why I only take four scoops of gold when I go on my raids? That’s because it’s pocket change to them! They’re pissed about it, but they don’t actually do anything about it because it’s not worth the time or effort! But for a princess! Oh dear lord... please tell me your father hates you.”

“Umm...” Rarity gulped. “When I was four I burnt my tongue on some hot soup and he cut the chef’s legs off and flogged him to death...”

“Holy shit! That’s horrible! What the hell is wrong with your dad?”

“Hey, watch yourself! That’s my father!”

“He MURDERED somepony because your soup was a little hot!” Spike blurted out. “Oh, good goddess... he’s going to turn me into a suit of armour!”

Rarity bit her nails anxiously. She didn’t blame Spike for panicking. It was easy for others to see her father as... well, psychotic, and she would admit that he could be quick-tempered and irrational and... murderous, but it all came out of love! Her father loved his family more than anything and was just... passionate in his methods of protecting it.

“Now calm down, Spike,” she said. “Maybe when my father shows up I can talk to him down. He’ll listen to me... I think.”

Spike glared at her. “I need more assurance than an ‘I think’!”

“Well it’s the best I can do!” She was about to say more, but there was an interruption. In the distance, there was the faint sound of trumpets and drums, similar to that of a war march. “What’s that noise?” Rarity turned around and ran to the nearest window. She stuck her head out and saw what she feared. A large legion of what could have been over a hundred warhorses marching towards her. She squinted, looking at the large flags waving in the wind. Bright blue with gold trims with an emblem of a rose and sword. “Oh dear...”

“What’s oh dear?”

“Well... I have good news, bad news, and horrible news...”

Spike gulped. “Oh great... what’s the bad news?”

“You’re being invaded by an army of ponies most likely to kill you and rescue me.”

“Oh good lord,” Spike groaned. “This is why I wanted you to leave before all of this crap happened! What the hell’s the good news?”

“Well... the bannerponies weren't waving my father’s flags, so yay?”

“Well then who is it?”

“The horrible news...” the princess groaned. “House Blueblood... my fiance.”

“How’s that horrible news?” Spike wondered. “Your future husband’s coming to rescue you.”

Rarity nearly gagged. “Please don’t say it like that...”

“Ah...” Spike nodded. “We don’t like the groom, I take it?”

“He’s a total ass!” Rarity barked as she threw her hands in the air. “I don’t want to get married to him! Hell, I don’t want to be married to anypony at all. I...” she stopped herself, turning a little red. She barely knew this dragon and she nearly told him her biggest secret! Something she couldn’t share with any of her friends or family and yet... she felt safe with him. Her entire body was burning with this desire to finally let it out, and if she was going to tell anypony, it may as well be with the dragon that was probably going to die. “I... I don’t even like ponies.”

“I see...” the dragon said. “So what? You’re gay?”

“I’m not gay!” Rarity frowned.

“Hey, it’s cool, I don’t judge.”

“I’m not in love with women, I’m in love with treasure, you idiot!” And there it was. She had finally said it out loud. It felt rather liberating to finally say it out loud. She loved gold and she was proud of it and nopony could take that away from her! Well... maybe somepony could take that away from her.

“Wow... didn’t see that one coming,” Spike said. “That’s kind of weird.”

“Oh please, spare me, dragon,” Rarity grumbled to herself as she gloomlily watched the army grow closer. “It’s not like it’s going to matter in a few hours when they take me away and I have to marry that buffoon.” She sighed. “It’s funny, when I first woke up here I was actually relieved that I had died and gone to heaven. Just me and my treasure... no princes trying to wed me for my father’s money and approval. It was a nice... idea...” her ears perked up. By the goddess, she was a genius! “Ha! That’s it!” She started laughing to herself in an almost diabolical tone. “It’s so simple!”

Spike backed away a little. “OK... what’s so simple?”

“Spike...” She ran up to him, grabbing the drake by both shoulders and pulling him closer. “I need you to kidnap me!”

“What?!” spike asked quizzically, blushing a little. She was really close to him. “But you’re just about to be rescued!”

“I don’t want to be rescued!”

“What do you mean you don’t want to be rescued?”

“I mean I don’t want to marry him!” She cried, pushing her face even closer to his. “If I wasn’t a princess then I wouldn’t be forced to marry somepony I hate. I want to marry the one I love! Not him... please not him.” Tears were starting to form around her eyes. “I love treasure Spike and there’s so much here! Just let me stay, please... kidnap me...”

The dragon was getting really uncomfortable. The mare was sobbing right into her chest. She was so... soft, and warm. He’d known this girl for less than half an hour and she was fussy, opinionated and full of herself like any other princess. And yet... she had trusted him with her secret, and she was so scared right now. It reminded him of himself a little, but he quickly shook that thought away, he didn’t need to be reminded of that.

Carefully, Spike pushed away the princess. “I’m a pacifist, I don’t kill. Hell I don’t even like hurting anypony.”

“So you’re not going to save me...”

“Never said that,” Spike said, heading to the window. “I’m going to make them go away, because I don’t let anypony take what I’ve rightfully stolen.” He turned his head, grinning. “Because you’re one of my treasures now, too. And I’m a dragon who loves his treasures.”

Rarity squeaked, turning redder than a ruby. S-she was a treasure?! Precious like gold?! “W-w-what are you saying? D-did you say y-you l-l-lo...”

“Don’t worry about it,” the dragon said. “You want to know why I’ve never been robbed before?”

“Why?”

“Everypony’s afraid of dragons,” he beamed as he crawled out of the window. Spike looked out in the distance, the large army was nearly at the gate. He took a deep breath and hopped out, falling down the tower.

“Holy--” Rarity rushed to the dragon, looking down the side of the tower. As she stuck her head out of the window, the mare was nearly blown away as a large figure swooped upwards from below. “S-Spike?! Is that you?!

*****

“C’mon you lazy bastards, keep marching!” Blueblood muttered from his chariot pulled by two exhausted servants. “Honestly, yelling at you two is utterly exhausting.” The two workhorses let out quiet moans as they continued to trudge along.

The prince leaned up against the railing, staring off into the distance where his scouts had said they’ve seen dragon activity. An old, abandoned castle that sat on top of a hill in the middle of nowhere. The stones were dark and brittle, a few of the towers had crumbled with age, and it looked like the only thing keeping the walls still up was the uncontrollable growth of plant life that had weaved its way into the infrastructure. Normally the prince would n’t be caught dead in a place like this. It was old... and dirty, a perfect home for a vile lizard to hide out.

“My prince,” a stallion adorned in fancy gold plate said, running up next to the chariot. “We’ll be upon the castle within the hour. How shall we engage the enemy?”

“We’re going to overwhelm it,” he said. “When it leaves its hideout, send our main forces straight at it. While they’re distracting it, our knights will attack it from behind and we’ll chop it’s bloody head off.”

“Sir... if I may,” the stallion asked. “You’d be sending those men to their deaths needlessly.”

“Needlessly? They’ll be dying for me! What nobler death could there be?” Blueblood asked with a grin. “It doesn’t matter if they die or not, they’re just serfs with cheap swords and rags. If they can keep the dragon occupied long enough for somepony worth a damn to do something important then they did something with their lives.”

“I...” the stallion began to say, but the horrible glare his prince gave him made him back down, lest he be one of those poor fools marching straight to his death. “I understand, my lord. I’ll relay the message.” The stallion ran ahead, barking the prince’s orders throughout the ranks.

Prince Blueblood pulled a little on the reins. “Slow down a little you two, let the rest of them get on ahead.” There was no way in hell he was going to be anywhere near this bloodbath. Unlike everypony else here, his life meant something. He was a prince! Royalty, engaged to the eldest daughter of the Platinum Family and perhaps the younger one as well if things go according to plan. He didn’t care if every single one of these ponies had to die, if the dragon was slain along the way then it would all be worth it.

They were less than a mile from the base of the hill that the castle stood on. Every soldier were getting ready to draw their swords. Archers had their bows at the ready, heavily armoured knights began splitting off from the main forces for the flank. They were ready, there was just one thing missing.

“Where is that dragon?”

“Prince Blueblood! The south tower!” A pointing pony yelled.

Blueblood and the rest of the forces looked to where the pony had pointed, seeing what looked like a small creature standing in a window. It was hard to tell from this distance, but it didn’t look like a pony. Whatever it was also seemed to be committing suicide, as it fell from the window shortly afterwards.

“Huh... that was weird--Holy!”

A second after the unknown creature broke their sightline behind the wall, a new beast emerged. It was as large as three houses crammed together and a dark lavender. Its wings stretched out for half a mile each. Its maw was long and the whites of its fangs were clear even from this distance. It was a dragon, the dragon that had stolen from the king.
Blueblood’s heart was racing. During the raid he had been hiding under his bed, so he had no idea just how terrifying this monster was. Seeing it in real life nearly made him wet himself.

“Ha... ha...” the prince trembled, his entire body shaking in fear. He pulled back on the reins of his chariot. “Back you fools! Keep me away from that thing!”

The two servants gagged from the tugs of their cheeks. What Blueblood had done was cruel and unnecessary. They didn't want to be anywhere near that dragon either but the two slowed down to a stop, watching the rest of the forces run headon towards their doom. It was the only time in their lives that they were thankful to be the steeds of royalty.

Meanwhile, perched on the top of his castle’s walls, Spike looked down curiously at the advancing forces, assessing just how much trouble he was in. There were lots of soldiers that were... running right at him? Did these ponies have a death wish?! No... they were just distractions to keep him from noticing the two quickly making their way around the castle. They were trying to stay spread out to surround him and raid the castle more effectively. Of course, they weren’t being incredibly subtle about it...

The drake spread his wings, taking off into the air with one, giant flap. As soon as he took off, the arrows began to fly. The sky became littered with the pointy projectiles all trying to dig into the dragon’s scales. Luckily for Spike, these arrows were subpar and simply bounced off of his scales like pebbles. He looked around the battlefield, trying to find a gap in their lines to he could make his counter attack. On the left end of the platoon, he saw his opening. Spike took a nosedive towards his opening, his jaw open as he unleashed a spectacular blast of emerald flames. The dragon’s fire was nowhere near anypony, which allowed any bystanders to make a hasty retreat, which was his plan. He was never aiming to hurt them, but the wall of flames he made did cut off the knights from the main forces, and definitely freaked them all out. He glided around the forces, spewing more flames to the ground, corralling them away from the castle and from their commanders.

This was how Spike fought. Deep in his heart he was a pacifist. The idea of hurting anypony made his stomach turn, and while it made him seem like a coward, it didn’t mean he wasn’t above protecting his home. But since he wouldn’t take lives, he would take his enemies morales and drown them in fear. The fields around his castles was popping straw, a luscious minty grass that burned easily, but would always ‘pop’ back up within a day. It made his flame corralling techniques very effective over countless back-to-back raids on his castle, and he never had to worry about replanting!
The main forces seemed to be in disarray, running around trying to find an escape from their fiery prison. Spike of course left a gap in the circle of fire, the exit leading away from the battlefield. He watched happily as they eventually made their way out and began dispersing among themselves.

“Screw this!” he heard one of them say. “I’m not staying around to be roasted alive!”

“How dare you, t-that’s treason! The prince will have your head for this!” Another pony shouted.

“I’ll take my chances with the axe!”

“I don’t want to die like this!”

“Somepony call for a retreat!”

Spike smiled to himself. “There’s the magic words,” he said. He looked to out into the distance towards the only pony that hadn’t engaged, the one he assumed was this Prince Bluedouche or whatever. Rarity hadn’t exactly painted the nicest picture of this stallion, but even so there was no way that he would allow so many of his subjects to die pointlessly (even though they weren’t in any real danger...)

“Well!” Blueblood yelled at the top of his lungs. “What are you idiots doing!? If you’re afraid of the fire so much then kill the blasted thing making them! Put them out with your bodies if you have to, I just want that dragon dead!”

“What the hell!?” Spike gasped. He really was an asshole! Spike had scared away many armies and even the most ruthless of warlords or scummy of kings wouldn’t just tell their armies to kill themselves. This pony’s head must be so far up his ass he’s popping out of his mouth! He was horrible, but since Spike wasn’t going to kill anything it did pose a real problem. They weren’t just going to retreat like normal... no, he would have to do something a little more drastic.

Spike made a beeline towards the backlines, avoiding the flurry of arrows being shot at him. Normally, he wouldn’t go after the leader, they tended to be the most ferocious and strong-willed out of everypony on the battlefield, willing to die for glory. That didn’t seem to be the case with this guy.

Blueblood saw the dragon heading towards him. “Crap, crap, crap, crap!” He stammered, trying to turn his chariot around, but it was too late. Spike was already upon him, and quickly scooped him up in his claws. His two servants watched from the ground as their leader was carried off into the sky. They were worried for him, but they were also relieved that they didn’t have to feel the horrible pull against their jaws. Blueblood on the other hand was not loving his new situation. He was miles up in the sky, moving at breakneck speeds in the clutches of a fire-breathing beast. He’d be screaming if he wasn’t so afraid of throwing up.

Once Spike had gotten him up high enough, it was time for a little talk. He raised the prince to eye level, so he could get a good look at Rarity’s fiance. He was definitely dressed like a noblepony, but his expression resembled a child about to wet himself. “So... you’re the prince?” he growled, doing his best, most intimidating dragon voice.

“Please don’t eat me!” He cried. “W-w-w-we can work something out! I-I’m about to c-c-come into a lot of money! Let me live and you can have it!”

“Bartering for your life? How pathetic!” Spike roared. “I already have my riches, what I don’t have is peace and quiet!” His gripped loosened a little, letting Prince Blueblood slip through his fingers.

“Wh-whaaaa! Don’t drop me!” the prince screamed. “D-Do you know w-who I am?! I am a prince! I-If I die you’ll face m-my family’s w-wrath!”

“Maybe...” Spike growled. Deep inside he was legitimately afraid of that happening, but he kept a straight face. “But fine, send your legions after me. I’ll wipe them all out in a sea of fire and blood. You won’t live to see though, at least.” He released his grip for a brief moment, letting Blueblood slip though his fingers. The stallion gave out a hellish squeak before Spike caught him by the hand, letting him dangle. “But... that sounds like a lot of work... and I’m tired. So I’m going to give you an out. Call off your troops, leave, don’t come back, and I don’t kill you. That sounds fair, right?”

“B-But I can’t leave without the princess--”

“THE PRINCESS IS MINE!” The dragon boomed. “Now, are you taking the deal, or taking the fall?” Internally, he begged like crazy for him to take the deal, because he had absolutely no exit strategy.

“OK! Fine! It’s a deal!” Blueblood cried. “Just let me live!”

Spike smirked, nosediving towards the ground and dropping the prince next to his chariot. “Remember, pony... stay away, or I roast you alive.”

“Ra... rea... retreat!” He yelled, jumping onto his chariot and snapped the reins. “Get me out of here, you fools!” Spike watched happily as the three ponies fled. He turned around, taking back to the air and circling the rest of the army.

“Attention, cattle!” he announced. “You’re leader flees as we speak, leaving you all to die! You have thirty seconds to leave my domain before I make death your reality!” His announcement, of course, was enough for the already downtrodden ponies to flee as well. Thankfully they seemed to hold little loyalty to a prince that left them all to die, or at least they were smart enough to follow his example.

He flew back to his castle, resting on the fall as he watched the legions of ponies leave. Once they were out of sight, he let out a heavy sigh.

“That was a close one...” he muttered to himself. The dragon turned back to the treasure tower and lept towards it. As he was soaring through the air, his form began to shrink and grow less monstrous. His wings started to shrivel up and fell off of him like dead skin. When he landed back on the windowsill he was no bigger than a large pony. He crawled back in and turned to Rarity, who was stunned and speechless. “Hey there. So we’re all good now, your marriage is officially broken off.”

The princess didn’t say anything for a few seconds. She didn’t know what to say. This dragon who she’d barely knew had done so much for her without even asking for a reward. It had taken her getting kidnapped to finally be rescued from her life, and it was all thanks to Spike. Rarity rushed to the dragon, tears flowing from her eyes as she wrapped her arms around him.

“Thank you!” she cried. “Thank you so much!” It was all she could say, what else could she do but show her gratitude. “I’ll never forget this!”

Spike turned a little red. This was a little sudden and he didn’t know what to do. “Uh... you’re welcome! I mean it’s my fault you’re in this mess anyways...” His eyes widened as Rarity started pulling down on him. She clenched tighter around his stomach and started sliding down him. The mare was so overcome with emotions her legs were giving out and now her face was sliding down his chest and towards his... “Uh, Rarity! You might want to--”

But it was too late. Rarity felt it before she saw it. Something large and soft like a sausage tapping on her cheek. She stopped sobbing for a moment to see what this could be and was greeted by Spike’s penis.

Well, she stopped crying at least.

Chapter 3: A dragon should be clothed... especially in front of a princess

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.

Chapter 4: Not all Princesses are girly... or kidnap victims

“Shit, shit, shit, shit!” A mare muttered to herself as she stumbled through the thickets of a forest. She was covered in scrapes and mud. Broken twigs and leaves were tangled up in her colourful mane, and the puffy dress she was wearing was getting caught in every bush she passed. “Son of a bitch! This is why I hate dresses!” In the distance, she heard the rumbling in the trees and the barking of dogs. Her pursuers were getting closer to her and she could barely stay ahead of them. It was this damn dress and she had enough! There was a small tear by her hip. She dug her nails into it and tore her dress a new one down the side. Her long blue legs were finally free. “Why the hell didn’t I do this earlier?”

“Where is she?!” A voice called out.

“I think she’s over here! Hurry up and find her. We can’t lose her again.”

“Ahhh! Can’t they take a hint?!” The mare growled as she picked up the pace. She could run faster now, but those dogs were going to catch up to her within moments. The girl needed to find a safe place to hide. She needed to get out of this damn forest. Looking around, she saw the faint flicker of sunlight through the trees. Something new in the dank dark array of shadows of the woods. “Thank the goddesses.” She sighed, making a mad dash towards the light and burst out into the open. Out of the forest was nothing but grasslands, nowhere to hide... well, with the exception of the creepy looking castle at the top of a hill. But it looked like it was miles away. “Well... shit.”

“I think she’s over here!” The voices called out. They were getting closer.

“Screw it,” The girl said, reaching behind her back to the zipper of her dress. After a powerful yank, it came undone and two large wings were freed. The mare clutched her chest to keep her dress from falling off and took off into the air. “Woo hoo! Suck it, assholes!” She looked behind her, the ponies hunting her down just breaking the treeline with their canines. She laughed at them, flipping them off as she made her way closer to the castle. From below she could hear them shouting at her.

“Come back!”

“You can’t run forever!”

“Watch me, idiots!” She shouted back. “Enjoy the view of my ass!” With that, she zoomed off towards the castle. Now that she could fly again, there was no way they could keep up with her. She would go to that castle and lay low for awhile to catch her breath and think of her next move. It looked abandoned after all...

*****

“Hey Rarity...” Spike asked.

“Yes Spike?” The white mare asked.

“Tell me again why I’m carrying you...”

“Because my feet are sore,” Rarity beamed up at him. The two were within eyesight of Spike’s castle, and they were no more than a half-hour walk. The dragon and pony had changed clothes as well, with Rarity wearing her new green dress and Spike begrudgingly donning his new shorts and shirt. The rest of the dresses were neatly folded up and stored in a bag made by their old curtain cloaks and tied around the dragon’s neck like a knapsack. Curled up in his arms was Rarity, nestled comfortably as she was carried like... well a princess.

“I should drop you...” Spike leered. “I’m already carrying everything else!”

“Oh please, you’re strong enough to carry me and much more. Besides, I’m comfortable now. You shouldn’t have agreed to carry me if you were just going to complain about it.”

“I’m carrying you because you wouldn’t stop whining about your feet!”

“And unless you want to keep hearing about it, then you’ll keep carrying me,” Rarity grinned wickedly. “If it’s that exhausting, why don’t you transform into your giant form. You have wings when you’re like that, right? We could be home in a few minutes.”

“Yeah no,” Spike said. “Transforming like that really takes it out of me.”

“What do you mean?”

“Imagine your entire body exploding but you’re still alive afterwards,” the dragon said. “That’s what it feels like to grow. Now imagine after a while, just when the pain is gone from growing, every cell in your body decides to crumble up into itself to shrink you down. So yeah... we’re walking and praying that no pony else decides to attack us today.”

“Oh... I see...” Rarity looked down. She didn’t realize how much pain the dragon was in because of her... and here she was, complaining about her feet. “You know what? My feet are feeling better now.” she wiggled herself out of Spike’s arms and landed next to him. “Thank you for carrying me for as long as you did.”

“Umm...” Spike said. This was surprising... he didn’t peg her for the sympathetic type. “No problem...” He looked on ahead. Soon he would be home and he could finally have that nap he’d been dreaming of. Just him alone in his room with no disturbances. Normally when there were invasions on his home he could count on being left alone for a few more days as news of the army’s defeat made its way across the land. Today should be no different.

At least... that’s what he thought.

“Spike...” Rarity asked. “Is it just me, or is that a pony flying towards your castle?”

“A what now?” he asked, looking towards were Rarity was pointing. True to her word, there was a small speck making a beeline to his castle. “Oh come on! You’ve got to be kidding me!” He yelped, seeing that behind her were even more ponies, at least three, following her.

“Are they more invaders?” Rarity asked, looking worried. Had her father already sent another rescue party after her?

“No... it’s too soon,” Spike said. “If anything, your father just heard of your ex-fiance’s defeat. We’re dealing with a different party here.” He grabbed Rarity’s arm and scooped her back up. “Looks like you get a free ride still.”

“Huh?” Rarity blushed as the dragon started sprinting at full speed towards the castle.

*****

The blue pegasus had a hard time sticking her landing. Heels were the devil’s instrument, even when broken they provided zero friction. She was lucky that she didn’t end up falling flat on her face as she stumbled into a window.

“Stupid heels,” She growled, kicking them off and freeing her feet. The ground was cold and dirty but just being able to wiggle her toes again felt like heaven. The mare looked around her, seeing that she had landed in a cobweb ridden pantry that was severely lacking in anything edible. Well, this was an abandoned castle after all, and she was safe for now, that was all she could have asked for.

Of course there was no way that she was going to be staying here for long. All she wanted to do was lay low until she could find an opportunity to bypass her pursuers. Until then she needed to find a good place to hide and it certainly wasn’t here.

She opened the door to the hallway, peeking around to make sure she was alone. There was no telling who else could be squatting here. However the dark, dusty hallways gave the impression that she was quite alone. Still, she didn’t want to dawdle so she quickly and quietly made her way down the stairs and away from her tower. It was pretty creepy being alone in such a dark place, like something was just waiting to jump out and give her a heart attack. Every little noise made her jump, and every breeze sent a chill shiver up her spine.

“Just find a room,” she whispered to herself. “Just find a room to hide in for a few hours and then you’re home free.”

She finally made her way down the tower and to what looked like the main entrance to the castle. It was quite large and barran, although there was something rather unsettling about the room. The dust on the floor was a lot more scattered around than other places she had been in the castle. Which could only mean one thing...

Somepony else had been here.

“Crap in a handbasket,” she gulped. Had the ponies chasing her already caught up to her? Were they inside the castle looking for her right now? What was she going to do?!

That’s when she heard the thud. She looked around desperately to try and find the source of the noise, but the room was so echoey, it was impossible to tell. There was a creaking noise that soon followed, and a small ray of light cracked through the giant doors of the entrance. Somepony was opening the door.

She didn’t know or care who opened the door, she just knew she had to get the hell out of there. Quickly, she dashed down a random hallway and headed up a flight of stairs, not waiting to see who was coming in.

If she had stayed a little longer she would have seen Spike push open the doors with Rarity quickly running in from behind him.

“Close the door, quickly!” the unicorn princess commanded, waving for Spike to come in. The dragon complied, slamming the doors shut. “I can’t believe you were able to outrun those ponies.”

“Same... it’s weird... I mean they had wings from the looks of it and yet they were running along the ground.”

“I kind of want to know what guards from the Sky Kingdom are doing here as well,” Rarity said.

Spike gave her an odd look. “The what now?”

“Sky Kingdom,” Rarity said. “You know, the country in the clouds, some call it the first city of Heaven. It’s a rather peaceful country from what I can remember, since it’s so hard to get up to.”

“Because it’s in the clouds?”

“Not just that,” the princess said. “Even if you could get up there, living there if you’re not a pegasus is a completely different story. Something about their makeup allows a pegasi to walk on clouds like its solid ground, it’s a mystery how they do it! Not even they’re completely sure how it’s possible.”

“Huh,” the dragon wondered. “With a kingdom like that, you’d think that they would have taken over the world by now. Kind of surprised they haven’t now that you’ve explained them.”

“Well... that’s the thing...” Rarity chuckled to herself a little. “They live on clouds and it’s made the citizens just as soft. They’re a kingdom of pacifists, just like you! Their military’s a giant joke but you don’t really need one when no pony on the planet can reach you.”

“Sounds kind of nice... might have to check out this Sky Kingdom sometime, do they have any treasure?” The dragon asked hopefully. Targeting a whole country of pacifists was his dream! He could take all he wanted and wouldn’t have to reap any of the consequences!

“They’re not rich, if that’s what you’re thinking,” she said, crushing the dragon’s dreams. “That’s why I think it’s crazy that anypony would want to live up there when there’s so much beautiful gold and treasure down here.”

“Great...” the drake sighed. “ I’d rather not rob an impoverished nation.”

“How very kind of you,” Rarity said. “But it’s lucky for us, since they’re pacifists, there’s no possible way that they’re here for you or me.”

“Yeah, I guess that’s true... but then, why are they here?”

“I have no idea,” the princess said, shrugging as she started heading up the stairs. “In any case, if they do decide to invade the castle, they shouldn’t be too hard to scare off.”

“Wait, where are you going?” Spike wondered. “And what about this giant ass bag of dresses?”

“Oh, put that in the cleanest room in the castle. I’ll be making that my bedroom from now on,” she beamed, skipping down the hall. “As for me, I’ll be retiring to the treasure chamber for a little rest and relaxation with my special sometreasure. Don’t wait up!” With that, the princess disappeared, humming happily as she left the dragon there in disbelief. She had far more important things to do, after all. Even in the short amount of time that she had been at the castle, she had memorized the location of the treasury. Who would forget the home of their love, after all? Rarity gave the large doors a strong push open and was greeted with the sparkling glimmer of millions of gold coins, the subtle gleams of a hoard of gemstones and a single pony staring at the trove with amazement.

“So much... shinies...” the mystery pegasus was in total awe. She was physically trembling at the sheer sight of all that gold. “H-how in the hell did they...”

Rarity was stunned. There was this... intruder ogling her treasure, her treasure! In her own damn home! She would not stand for that! “Hey!” she snapped. “Just what in the hell do you think you’re doing?!”

The stranger gave out a shrill shriek as she bolted up into the air and nearly hit the ceiling. She landed with a heavy thud at Rarity’s feet. “What the heck...” She rubbed her head and tried to collect herself.

Rarity finally got a good look at this new mare as she got up. Her fur was a fine sky blue, though covered in dirt and scratches. Her mane and tail were a crow’s nest of twigs, rocks and bright colours, and she was wearing what at some point was a very nice frilly white dress. That was several tears and a walk through a swamp ago though. Rarity backed off a little, she could feel just how dirty this girl was.

“Umm... sorry if I was a little loud, dear. Are you OK?”

“Back off!” the girl spat at her, getting her footing and swinging a blind fist at Rarity. “You’ll never take me alive!”

“Hey! Watch it!” the princess yelped. “I’m not attacking you! I’m just asking if you’re hurt or not. Why on earth would I want to take you alive?”

The rainbow-maned mare held her fists up, not letting her guard down. “Uh-huh, yeah sure, keep telling me that but I ain’t going to believe you. But tell you what. You see that giant treasure pile behind me. You can have it if you never saw me, capiche?”

That almost made Rarity laugh. “Darling, you can’t give away what’s not yours. Especially when it’s already mine.”
“No it’s not.”

“Yes it is.”

“No it’s not.”

“YES IT IS!” Rarity snapped. “Now I have no idea what you’re doing here, and frankly I wasn’t thrilled of the way you were looking at my gold but if you’d like to explain what you’re actually doing here then I’m all ears.” She folded her arms, waiting for the girl to reply.

“I...” the mare sighed, slowly letting her guard down. “You really aren’t after me? What the hell are you doing here then?”

“My question first, dear,” Rarity said.

“Fine...” she groaned. She took a deep breath. “My name... is Princess Rainbow Dash of the Sky Kingdom... and I ran away from home.”

Rarity’s eyes widened a little. She certainly wasn’t expecting that answer. “Huh... are you sure?”

“Of course I’m sure!” Rainbow frowned. “I know what kingdom I’m a princess of!”

“It’s just that you don’t... well, look like a princess. You look like you’ve fought a bear and lost.”

“Yeah, running around a forest will do that!” the dirty princess muttered, looking down at her drabby and torn dress. “Trust me, I’m a princess...”

“Well...” Rarity said. “Then that’s that.” This was bizarre. How on earth did ANOTHER princess find her way in this castle?! “So what brings you to this... humble castle.”

“Just hiding out,” the rugged princess sighed, stretching her arms as she took a seat on the ground. “There’s a few ponies from my kingdom hunting me down to bring me back home because I’m a... you know, runaway.”

Rarity nodded. As a fellow runaway princess she could only imagine what hardships she had to endure back home. “If you don’t mind me asking... what made you leave home?”

“Why would anypony want to split from their home?”

“Love?”

“Freedom!” Rainbow shouted. “The Sky Kingdom is a friendly, encouraging and safe environment and everyday I stayed up there I wanted to slit my own throat but I can’t do that because guess what? We don’t have knives or anything sharp in a kingdom made of clouds! We don’t have anything in the bloody skies! It is so. Mother. Fucking. BORING! I’ve been on the ground for less than a day and I feel more alive than I ever had before!” The cyan mare was heaving with excitement, like a cat in heat. “My heart hasn’t stopped racing since I’ve touched the ground. There’s so much cool crap down here like.. Like this!” She pointed to the treasure hoard. “Look at this! This is insane! And look at me! I’m covered in... I don’t know, poop for all I know. I smell horrible and it’s great!” She rolled onto her back. “I don’t ever want to go back...”

“Ah...” Rarity mumbled. At least she knew where that smell was coming from. There was a good chance that Rainbow was covered in... droppings. “As happy as I am for your... liberation. You may want to look into a bath in your future.”

“What’s a bath?”

“... you’re kidding, right?” Rarity asked. The other princess just gave her a funny look. “Really? You don’t have baths in the Sky Kingdom?!” What do you do to stay clean?”

“Fly through a raincloud, what else?”

“I...” She was at a loss of words. “No! That’s unacceptable! As a princess, you must learns the ins and outs of proper bathing!” Rarity grabbed the pegasus by her cleanest finger and pulled her off the ground. “Come with me, we’re going to find the bathhouse.”

“There’s a whole house for these bath things?”

“Oh sweetheart, I have so much to teach you,” she said, leading her towards the door. “While we’re at it, we have to get you a change of clothes.” the white mare swung open the door. “Lucky for you I just--” her sentence was cut short as she bumped into Spike, who was standing just outside her door. “Oh, sorry Spike.”

“Hey Rarity, we have a- who the hell is that?”

Rarity eyes widened. She had forgotten that Spike hadn’t met Rainbow yet... and Rainbow hadn’t met the dragon. Rarity turned to the other mare.

The colourful pony was stunned. Her jaw was dropped as she tried to understand what she was looking at. Rainbow had never seen a dragon before... or a lizard... or any reptile really. So to the sheltered mind of this rebellious princess, it was nothing more than a nightmarish abomination. A mix of all the carnal fears embedded into one’s very instincts and self-preservation. There was only one thing a girl could do when facing such a sight.

She screamed and punched him in the throat.

Rainbow’s punch was surprisingly fast and accurate and even though Spike’s scales were tough, they did little to suppress the crushing of his windpipe. The dragon gargled as she clamped his throat. Dropping to his knees in pain.

“W-Why...?” He cried, coughing and gasping for air.

“What the hell is that thing?!” Rainbow cried. “It’s like a... I-I don’t even know what-- is that thing even a pony?!”

Rarity dropped to her knees, doing the best she could to help Spike, although she didn’t really know what to do and was just... helping him morally. “Spike, are you all right?” Spike shook his head. “Well... just keeping trying to breathe.” She turned to Rainbow. “Why would you do that?!”

“It scared me!”

“He...” Rarity frowned. “Is harmless. He’s a dragon, a friendly one and the co-owner of this castle.”

“Co-owner?” Spike grumbled, his throat feeling a little less inflated. “What do you mean co-owner?”

“Well naturally since I’m living here I’ve inherited partial ownership. And be thankful for that, I was planning on claiming the whole palace,” Rarity said matter-o-factly.

“Yeah I don’t think so, princess,” Spike growled. “Just because you live here now, doesn’t mean you’re entitled to jack. If anything, you owe me.”

“What are you talking about?” Rainbow asked. “I don’t owe you anything, I don’t even know you!”

“I wasn’t talking to you...” Spike said confusedly.

“But you said princess...” Rainbow slowly said as she and Spike both grew quiet. Rainbow turned to Rarity. “You’re a princess?!”

“You’re a princess?!” Spike screamed at Rainbow. “Oh goddess were you hiding in the gold too?”

“No I came from the sky,” Rainbow explained. “I ran away from my kingdom so I could be free from a boring, mundane life.”

“Well that’s just swell,” the dragon said sarcastically. “Now get the hell out of my castle! I already have one too many runaway princesses living here, I’m not looking for anymore. Besides, we don’t have time to argue about this! There are ponies; armed ponies, in my castle.”

“Our castle.”

“Can we not do this right now?!” Spike said in a panic. “I came up here to hide while they look around and to warn you. We don’t know what these ponies want so it would be best to just let them poke around for a bit and get on their way.”

Rainbow raised her hand. “Oh, they’re looking for me. My parents sent them to bring me back home. But you guys are nuts if you think I’m ever going back up there!”

“Then I guess I’m nuts,” Spike said bluntly. “Now get out there or else.”

“Or else what?”

“I...” Spike started to say, eventually drawing a blank. He... didn’t have a follow up to that. He had just hoped that Rainbow would be scared enough to leave but despite being a bit of a featherbrain she was rather... stubborn. If there was one thing a pacifist like Spike hated it was stubbornness. “I’ll... umm...”

“Spike...” Rarity said, grabbing the dragon’s hands and holding them close to hers. “Please kidnap her as well.”

“Huh?”

“WHAT?!” the pegasus gasped. “I don’t want to be kidnapped! And what do you mean ‘as well’? What sort of stockholm syndrome shit is going on here?!”

Before Spike or Rarity could give her an answer, the door to the treasury was kicked open. In poured four guards and several... poodles? Why were there so many rabid looking poodles? Each of the ponies were cladded in thick, leathery looking armour and held the leashes of two dogs. The four of them were shaking a little and were out of breath.

“That was a lot of stairs...” one of them said, breathing heavily while wiping away some sweat. “Wait, is that the princess?”

“Princess Rainbow Dash!” Another one said. “Will you please just come with us? The King and Queen are worried sick about you! Your father won’t stop crying and it’s really bumming the rest of us-- what the heck is that thing?” He pointed at Spike.

“Has no pony ever seen a dragon before?” Spike sighed. Although in a way this was perfect timing. From what they just said they were here just for Rainbow Dash, not Rarity. And from what Rarity said the Sky Kingdom didn’t care about treasure, so they wouldn’t be coming back. This was great! He could just explain to these guys the misunderstanding and give Rainbow Dash back.

“Oh thank the heavens you came to rescue us!” Rarity cooed with a dramatic flair. She wrapped her arms around Rainbow Dash and pulled her close. “This nasty dragon is holding the two of us captive against our will!”

“WHAT?!” screamed Spike.

“Huh?” gasped Rainbow Dash, about to protest more before Rarity clamped her mouth shut.

The unicorn shushed her before turning on the dramatics. “Yes, he’s such a vile beast! You should have heard all of the dirty, embarrassing things he said he was going to do to us!” She leaned into Rainbow’s ear and whispered. “If you don’t want to be rescued play the part of the damsel. Got it?” Rainbow gave her a weird look as Rarity flung her head back stylishly. “Woe is us, two poor defenseless princesses!”

“ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!” the dragon gawked. Was Rarity seriously doing this right now?! After making such a big deal about not wanting to be rescued here she was playing the damn victim? He looked at Rainbow, praying that she would set this all straight.

The pegasus princess looked at the dragon, all the worry and panic in his face. She almost felt bad for the guy. Then she looked at the four ponies and their war poodles and realized... there was no way in hell she was going back to the Sky Kingdom, and if that meant getting ‘kidnapped’ then so be it.

“He’s a monster!” Rainbow cried in the girliest, most innocent voice she could muster. “I’ve only been his prisoner for less than an hour and he’s already confessed all the nasty things he’s going to do to me. Like butt things! Lots of butt things. And feet too. Pretty sure he said that a foot was going to go up someone’s butt.”

One of the soldiers gulped in horror. “By the goddess, that’s disgusting! This beast is beyond redemption!”

“I think I’m going to be sick...” Another one said.

“How could anypony get off to sticking their entire foot up somepony’s ass?”

Spike was at a loss of words... there was literally nothing he could say. He just slowly looked towards the two mares, a petrified face of defeat plastered all over his face as if to ask ‘Why? Why would you do this to me’? These two girls were going to be the death of him, he just knew it.

“Soldiers, now more than ever must we bring the princess back, as well as rescue this other mare!” One of them said. “Men, release the hounds!”

The four of them released their dog’s leashes, and soon the dragon was swarmed by poodles. The puffy little monster started gnawing at the drake’s ankles to... little effect. Truth be told, poodles were not the most vicious dogs. These ones in particular had rather dull teeth, and the biting barely even hurt. It was more annoying if anything.

“Uh... I’m not sure what’s happening.” Spike said, watching the dogs try and get through his thich scales. “Are these supposed to be attack dogs?”

“By the goddess...” One gulped. “He’s bested our mightiest war poodles!”

“Not really, it’s just that rottweilers would be a little more scary... or even pugs. These aren’t even the big poodles! They’re teacup poodles!” Spike exasperated, trying to shoo away the dogs with his toes. “Besides, I’m just trying to explain-”

“You might have bested our dogs, you vile creature! But lets see how you fair against the strongest iron of the Sky Kingdom! “With that, the four ponies charged at Spike, drawing their swords and raising them high overhead before striking down with as much force as they could muster against the dragon. Spike covered his face, not wanting to catch a blade to the eye as the swords bounced harmlessly off his scales. The resulting recoil shook several of his attackers to the bone. One even screamed in pain while clutching their wrist.

“I think I just sprained my hand!” One cried.

“My sword just cracked!” Another said.

“It’s broken? That sword was five percent of our military’s arsenal!”

“Wait, really?” Rarity asked.

Rainbow bowed her head in shame. “My country has a really shitty military.”

Spike turned around angrily, pointing at the princesses. “Both of you, zip it! Now will the rest of you please li--”

“Retreat!” the pony with the hurt hand cried. “This beast is too much for us!”

“Forgive us, princess!” Another one wallowed as he ran out the door. “We’ll be back, and with the full might of the Sky Kingdom’s forces!”

“That’s only like forty ponies!” Rainbow growled as the intruders all disappeared from the room. “You don’t even have enough swords for all of them!” the scattering of their footsteps dissipated behind the slamming of the castle’s doors. “Holy crap my ponies suck ass...”

“But we did it!” Rarity beamed. “Spike was able to stave them off, so you’re now officially captured by the fearsome dragon! Welcome aboard, fellow captive!”

“Woo hoo! I’m a prisoner!” Rainbow cheered. “I’ve never been so happy!”

As the two princesses rejoiced in their victory of not being rescued, Spike stared at the door where the ponies had ran fled from. He just wanted to clear things up. He didn’t want to kidnap another princess! He didn’t want TWO kings pissed at him! He didn’t want anything to do with Rainbow Dash!

He turned around violently, glaring at Rainbow. “YOU. OUT. NOW!”

“Huh?” Rainbow asked. “I don’t think that’s how kidnapping works.”

“You are not kidnapped!” Spike roared. “You’re just some rebel princess who needs to get out of my castle before I make her get out of my castle.”

“OK.”

“OK... what?”

“Make me leave,” Rainbow said with a cocky grin. “Or are you too much of a pussy to make me leave by force.”
“I...” Spike started to tremble a little. “I will if I have to!”

“Doubt it...” she took a few steps closer to the drake, looking him dead in the eye. “... pacifist.”

“Hah-I’m not a--”

“My kingdom is basically one giant vagina, Spike,” Rainbow said smugly. “So I know a pussy when I see one. And you, dude, are such a pacifist that I can smell the estrogen fuming off of you. So you’re going to let me stay, and I’m not going to kick you in your big boy parts. Do we have a deal?”

“I...” Spike started to say, but stopped short. He was beat, and didn’t want to get beaten anymore. Even a dragon’s grapes were sensitive. “Deal...”

“Yay!” Rarity cheered, running up to Spike and giving him a hug. “Thank you, Spike! You really are just a big sweetheart, stealing us damsels.”

“Don’t remind me...” he said, trying to look away. Again, his cheeks were burning up a little. What was this mare’s deal anyways? What made her so affectionate over stupid little things like this? “I just didn’t want to get beaten up by a girl again.”

“Again?”

“Don’t want to talk about it!” Spike said, breaking their hug.

“Fair enough,” the white unicorn shrugged. “Now I believe before we were interrupted, Princess Dash and I were going to the bathhouse.”

“Oh yeah, I was wondering what smelt like deer shit,” Spike chuckled. “Guess it was the Princess Ass over here.” He felt a sharp kick in his shin. “Ow! Watch it!”

“Shut up, Spike! And I don’t smell like deer shit,” she leaned towards Rarity and whispered. “What’s a deer?”

“I’ll explain later, dear,” Rarity smiled. “Now come along. Spike, draw us up some water and warm it up as well. Also, show us where the bathhouse is because frankly I have no idea where it is.” She flashed Spike a few eye flutters. “Pretty please?”

The dragon sighed. “Yeah sure, why not?!” All this privilege was getting a little annoying... though to be fair he was also the only thing in the castle that could boil water... Plus, after all the crap that had happened in the last few days, a bath sounded kind of nice.

Author's Note

Well here we are! Introducing a new Princess. I hope you guys enjoy her character in this.
Next update Friday.

Chapter 5: A bath is quite therapeutic... when not interrupted

Author's Note

This Chapter will be a lot... fluffier than usual. Probably because the next chapter is going to be quite plot driven. So I guess enjoy this chapter for what it is: Three hot bodies taking a bath.

Chapter 5: A bath is quite therapeutic... when not interrupted

In a castle as old as the one Spike lived in, things tended to not be in the best shape. The walls were dirty and overgrown with vegetation, the floors hadn’t been swept in years, dust was everywhere and there were more than a few floorboards that were rotting away. In all the hype towards taking a nice, relaxing bath Rarity had just assumed that she would be going to a bathhouse similar to the one she had back at her castle, and only through touring through the musky halls of her new one that she realized that it was very possible that the bathhouse would be a swamp house.

“Spike...” Rarity asked nervously. “Don’t be offended by this, but how often do you bathe?”

Spike shrugged. “Whenever I feel like it.”

“Oh... Ok,” the princess said, forcing a grin as the dragon stopped in front of a cobweb ridden door that looked like it hadn’t been opened in years. “Please tell me this isn’t the entrance to the-”

“Ladies, welcome to the bathing chambers!” Spike said rather happily. “Apologies for the messy door. It’s been awhile since I’ve used it.”

“That’s not reassuring...” Rarity muttered as Spike pushed open the door. Rarity flinched, expecting to be engulfed by a pungent wave of sewer gas and dead animals smells. But all her nose picked up was the scent of... lotus flowers and camomile? Why was she smelling flowers? She opened one eye and then the other in utter amazement. “Oh my goddess...”

“Yeah, the door’s a little misleading,” Spike said. “I usually use the other one connected to my room.”

Stepping into that room was like stepping into another world. The bathhouse looked like it had been scrubbed down daily, with not a speck of dirt anywhere to be seen. The flooring was all nice, smooth tile leading to the massive pool of shimmering clean water that sparkled from the light of the chandelier hanging above.

A tear rolled down Rarity’s cheek. “It’s so beautiful, Spike. It's the most beautiful bathhouse I've ever seen.”

“Is this all water?!” Rainbow gasped, rushing to the edge of the bath. “How did you get all of it in here?” She dropped to her knees to examine it closer. “Wait a minute... I’ve heard about this... is this the ocean?”

“It isn’t, my sweet, sheltered, princess,” Rarity said, walking next to her. “This is a bath.”

“Sick... so what do we do with it?”

“We sit in it, relax, clean ourselves...” Rarity continued to explain all the fundamentals of bathing to Rainbow Dash while Spike waddled over to a large cylinder tube sticking in the ground at the side of the room.

He took a deep breath and unleashed a stream of brilliant green fire into the tube and soon afterwards the tub started to steam up.

“Get in while it’s hot,” Spike said as he reached for his pants and pulled them down. “I’m not getting out again to reheat it.”

“Oh yes let’s gahg!” Rarity screeched a little as she watched the dragon down his trousers. “What are you doing?!”

“Taking a bath...?”

“But you’re getting naked!”

“What’s the big deal, you’ve already seen me naked,” Spike groaned. “Hell I’ve seen you naked.”

“Don’t remind me...” she moped. The memory of another seeing her exposed, and in the presence of her lover no less! It was shameful. Still... the dragon did have a point, and it was his bathhouse... “Well, whatever Spike. Just remember that I’m a taken mare. So no funny business.”

“Yes, I’d hate to make the hoard of gold jealous,” the drake said sarcastically as he walked into the bath and took a seat. He felt better almost immediately. Like the last twenty-four hours never happened. “Ah...” he sighed, slipping deeper into the water until only the top of his head and snout were visible.

Rarity found herself watching him rather closely as he slunk into the water, turning a little red as her eyes wandered deeper down to see his- “Whoa!” She said aloud, shaking her head. What the hell was that?

“You OK, Rare?” Rainbow asked.

“Splendid,” the white mare said, turning away from Spike. “Well, Spike said to get in the water fast, so shall we?”

“I don’t know...” Rainbow gulped, now her cheeks were turning a little crimson. “I mean it was cool that Spike’s naked because he’s a guy but isn’t it weird for two girls to be naked in front of each other?”

“Nonsense, it’s perfectly normal,” she said. “It’ll give us a chance to bond. That’s what a bath is all about. Now get naked before you make me strip you myself and I really don’t want to touch you.”

“O-Ok...” Rainbow said as she slowly started to peel her dress off. Rarity started to do the same, turning around in respect for Rainbow and to keep an eye on Spike. The dragon seemed to be in his own world though, and possibly starting to fall asleep.

It didn’t take them long to get naked. Rarity even folded up her dress nicely before turning around to see Rainbow. Rarity was amazed by how fit the pegasus was. She was a lot leaner than her, a lot thinner too but she had nice muscle definition, and her belly had the faint etching of each of her abs. Her hands were clamped around her marehood but it gave Rarity and eyeful of her boobs. Not particularly big, at least not big as her own.

“Now why were you so embarrassed?” Rarity asked. “You’re quite stunning, Rainbow.”

“S-shut...” the rainbow-maned princess frowned. “Miss big tits bitch...”

“Excuse me?”

“Like what the hell are those?!” Rainbow pointied furiously at Rarity’s rather large rack. “Why does every mare else in the world have sweater rippers while I can’t even wear a strapless dress?”

“I don’t think anybody's making you do that...”

“Whatever, let’s just get in the bath...” Rainbow stomped over to the edge of the pool and dropped one foot in before screaming and taking flight. “Why the fuck does the water burn?!”

Rarity went over and dipped a toe into the water. It was quite warm, yes... but it wasn’t boiling. “You’re overreacting,” she said as she stepped in as well. “You just need a moment to get used to it.”

“Water shouldn’t be hot! It goes against the laws of nature!”

The unicorn frowned. Baths were a gift from the heavens! “Oh suck it up, buttercup.” She reached out and grabbed Rainbow by her hovering ankle and gave her a big tug and engulfed her foot back in the water. The flying princess screamed a little, but it quickly died down and was replaced with a few moans. “See? It’s feels nice.”

“It’s like... being wrapped up in a warm blanket while flying through the air,” Rainbow cooed. The pegasus descended down a little, easing her way into the water until she was sitting down next to Rarity. “Holy shit... this is sooooo good.”
“See?” Rarity beamed. “I told you that you just had to get used to it.” She herself got a little more settled into the tub. She sighed happily. “There’s nothing more relaxing in the world.”

“I want to live in here...” Rainbow purred. “Just leave me here forever, and let me die happy.”

“Don’t we all...” Rarity said. She started to look around. “Hmm, I wonder if the dragon has any soap.”

“Soap?”

“It helps you get cleaner... my goodness you really have nothing up there in the clouds, do you?”

“Not really, just clouds and high morals. Kind of why I left.”

“Yes I’ve noticed your rather... colourful vocabulary.”

“Just because we’re all sunshine and butterfly farts up in the Sky Kingdom, doesn’t mean there aren’t others that want to rebel and get out of there. I mean you don’t think I’m the first pegasus that’s ever gotten sick of being five feet from the sun. Just... the first princess.”

“No judgement here... I’m just surprised you only just left. How could you live a life with no possessions, no things... no treasure!”

“I mean that’s not really why I left... I don’t really see the point in hoarding all that crap. Like, in what universe would anypony need all those shinys?”

Rarity gasped. “Are you crazy? Gold is wonderful! It’s the very foundation of everything in this world!”

“... It’s just a bunch of shiny metal things.” Rainbow said. “Honestly, looking at all of it was giving me a headache.”

“Well, I never!” Rarity said in a huff. “I guess some ponies don’t know true beauty when they see it. That treasure is too good for you.”

“OK...?”

“I guess I should be happy though... I won’t have to fight you for its affection...” Rarity started to mutter to herself. “Actually, now that I think of it, I never thought about whether or not you could have posed as a rival for me.” She looked back to Rainbow. “So you have no feelings about the treasury? Romantic or otherwise?”

“No,” the pegasus laughed. “I’m not some weirdo.”

“It’s not weird!” Rarity yelled, standing up. “It’s perfectly normal to love treasure!”

“What the hell are you talking about?” Rainbow asked. “Wait... are you, like... in love with treasure?”

“I...” Rarity turned a little red. “So what if I am?”

There was a moment of silence before Rainbow finally burst into laughter. “Holy crap! That’s freaking dumb! You groundees are so weird!”

“It is not weird!” the unicorn growled. “At least I’m not some birdbrain who’s clueless to anything below the stratosphere!”
“I might be clueless but at least I don’t fuck coins!” Rainbow continued to laugh, almost heeling over from it.

Rarity was fuming so much she made the water boil around her. In a act of rage, the princess slapped the water as hard as she could, kicking up a rather large wave of water and splashed Rainbow. The pegasus wasn’t expecting it and took the wave right to the face, stunned slightly, coughing a little.

“Hey! What the hell was that for?!”

“You know why, birdbrain!”

Rainbow growled at the unicorn, smacking the water like she did and sending a good splash of water towards Rarity. The white mare hadn’t expected her opponent to respond so quickly, and was barely able to close her eyes in time before the water hit her face.

“Eek! My hair!” Rarity squealed as her long purple locks uncoiled under the weight of the water and smacked her right in the face. Rarity’s face was like a magnet for wet hair unless she tied it off beforehand, something she had not yet done for here. She parted her hair, glaring at the cocky looking pegasus in front of her. Rarity sent another wave of water at her with a vicious howl, but this time, Rainbow was ready for her. The pegasus princess flapped open her soggy wings and shielded herself from the blow before retaliating with gusto.

“Take this!” Rainbow cried, extending a wing and spinning into the bath’s surface. The force of her large wing sent a tidal wave to Rarity and nearly knocking the unicorn off her feet. “Oh I’m really starting to like baths now!” She cackled, getting ready to send another wave towards Rarity.

“Then let’s see if you like this!” Rarity spat back, her horn glowing with magical energy. “You’ve forced me to play my ultimate trump card: Magic!” around her, the water began to swirl upwards, making what looked like watery tentacles poking out of the water. These water tendrils shot towards Rainbow knocking her back with watery blows even with her winged defense. “You think the bath is your ally, Princess? But you’ve merely adopted the bath; I was born in it, moulded by it. I didn't see a towel until I was already a woman, and by then it was nothing to me but IRRITATING!” She sent out more of her watery projectiles. “The bath betrays you because it belongs to me!”

She had the upper hand now, as all Rainbow could do was stand there and defend from the hits. But her wings were getting heavier with each impact of steamy bath water, being absorbed by her feathers and fur. She would drop her guard soon and that’s when Rarity would go for the killing blow. “Time to end this.” She said, gathering as much water as she could with her spell. It was like she had summoned a storm in the bathroom, water flying everywhere until coming together in a towering cyclone before her and sent it towards the pegasus.

Rainbow peeked through her feathers. Her opponent had made her move, now it was her turn. “I’ve flown in the strongest storms imaginable, I won’t be defeated by a princess’s parlour trick!” Rainbow dropped her guard, this time spreading both of her wings as far as they would go. She readied her hands and began spinning herself. Both of her mighty wings scooped up water as well as her hands, making a water tornado of her own. It surrounded her, and with the force of her wings she flung it straight into Rarity’s own attack.

The two pillars of water clashed in the center of the bath, not breaking, but combining into one giant spinning cyclone of watery death, and it was sucking everything it could into it. Both Rarity and Rainbow were too tired to try and fight it and soon the two princesses were overtaken by the the watery fury.

The princesses screams were muffled by the water as the force of the spirals current whipped them around mercilessly, and the two mares were helpless to do anything otherwise. Eventually though, the horrible mass of watery destruction that the two had created gave out, flinging the girls out at dangerous speeds. It took quick thinking and a little magic for Rarity to catch herself before smashing onto the floor. Unfortunately, she didn’t see Rainbow shooting in her direction as well, and the two tumbled onto the floor.

Rarity groaned, her head was spinning and her entire body ached. Everything still felt intact though, so that was a plus at least. However, when she tried to get up, she realized that there was something pinning her down. She leaned up a little and nearly screamed. Rainbow had somehow flopped on top of her, and in a rather compromising position. The blue mare’s face had somehow nestled itself right in between her breasts.

The white mare turned red. “Umm... Rainbow Dash?”

“Ermaah...” Rainbow groaned. Being flung around had really put her brain for a spin. She wasn’t sure where she was, but whatever it was, it was soft... so soft... “Mmm... squishy.”

“Hey!” Rarity snapped, smacking the pegasus on the top of the head. “Wake up! My chest is not a pillow!”

Rainbow stirred a little as her head slowly unfogged. “Huh? What... where am I?” She lifted her head, and was greeted with Rarity’s bountiful twins. “Ah... b-boobs! What the hell happened?!”

“We got a little... carried away,” Rarity sighed, pushing Rainbow off of her. “Are you OK?”

“Head hurts a little... but yeah,” the pegasus muttered, rolling her side and scooched up next to Rarity. “That got pretty intense, huh?”

Rarity chuckled a little. “Yeah... maybe a little.”

“You know, you’re not half bad in a fight,” Rainbow said.

“Same,” Rarity smiled. “I’ll be honest... that might have been the most fun I’ve had in a long time.”

“It’s the most fun I’ve ever had period.”

“The Sky Kingdom really is that boring, huh?”

“You have no fucking idea, Rare...” Rainbow sat up and looked to Rarity. “You know I never did get a chance to say thank you.”

“Hmm? Whatever for?”

“For getting me kidnapped,” She beamed. “If you hadn’t did what you did I’d still be running for my life and who knows where I’d end up.”

“Oh well, I didn’t do that much, really,” Rarity blushed. “I just... saw a little of myself in you and couldn’t stand the idea of you being sent back to your kingdom, that’s all. I know what it’s like for others to not understand what you want, even if that thing’s a little... weird.”

“Being sexually attracted to gold IS weird,” Rainbow said bluntly. “But... it doesn’t make you a bad pony. Besides...” the winged princess gulped, turning her head away. “I wouldn’t be friends with a total weirdo.”

“Friends?” Rarity’s eyes lit up. Truth be told, Rarity did not have many friends... or any for that matter. Sure she had servants and her family, but no pony that wanted to spend time with her that wasn’t blood related or serving her. But thinking back, the two of them talked and laughed together, goofed around with a splash fight that got way out of control. Hell, she told Rainbow about her gold fetish and she still called her a friend. It brought a tear to her eye. “Come here, bestie!” She lunged at Rainbow Dash, glomping her with a surprise hug.

“Ah! Rarity! Stop!” Rainbow cried, trying to wiggle out of the grasp of the unicorn. “We’re still wet and naked!”

“Come with me,” the overjoyed Rarity said, grabbing her by the hand and taking her back to the tub. “We’re going to do something only friends can do!”

The sing-songy way Rarity said that made Rainbow nervous. “What are we going to do...” she asked, taking a step back into the tub. Around her, several buckets started levitating off the ground and spinning towards Rarity. The unicorn had grabbed what looked like a scrub cloth from somewhere and was now leering at her with ill-intent. “R-Rarity...?”

“Don’t worry about it, darling,” Rarity said with an almost possessed like cackling. “I wanted to do this with you since I first saw you, Rainbow...” She licked her lips and aimed one of the floating buckets at the pegasus princess and splashed her with its contents. It was soap, and it quickly mixed in with the water to bloom several mountains of bubbles.

“W-What is this stuff?!” Rainbow panicked, trying to brush the buildup of bubbles off of her. “It feels so weird!” Suddenly, Rarity had closed the distance between the two of them. She now now leaning over the smaller pegasus. “R-Rarity?”

“Shh... relax, dear,” the smile on Rarity’s face was almost haunting. “Just let this happen.” without any hesitation, Rarity’s hands shot out, clenching each of Rainbow’s soapy little tits. The unicorn’s fingers went to work, rubbing and fondling around the pegasi perky bust, each harsh movement emitting a little squeak from victim. It was almost cute, considering the tough facade that the Sky princess put up.

“Rar-ah!” Rainbow continued to moan. “W-Wha are y-ah! D-doing to me?”

“I’m cleaning you,” the white mare said. “It’s something girls do in the bath, especially between friends!”

“B-but do-do you have to be so ha-aarsh!” Rainbow cried.

“Of course I do, you’re filthy!” Rarity said, now looking a little more annoyed as her scrubbing of Rainbow’s boobs got more intense. “Plus you probably don’t know how to properly wash yourself.” She gave the center of the princess’s breastbone a little more shine before finally letting go. “There we go, now onto those wings.”

“NO!” Rainbow screamed in protest, but it fell of deaf ears. Rarity was already making her advances. Rainbow backed away as much as she could until she was cornered at the edge of the bath. “R-Rarity listen, my boobs were one thing, but my wings are really-”

“Dirty? I agree,” interrupted the unicorn. “Now if you’d kindly turn around this’ll be a lot easier for both of us.”

“I...” Rainbow was at a loss of words. Somehow she knew that Rarity was going to get her way regardless of how much of a fuss she put up. Reluctantly, the pegasus turned around, leaning over the deck of the pool. “Just... be gentle, OK?” She hid her face in the ground, not wanting her friend to see just how vulnerable she was right now.

“Of course, Rainbow,” Rarity beamed, getting nice and close to Rainbow. She levitated another bucket over, getting her hands nice and soapy before rubbing them along her friend’s back. Rarity began by loosening her up with a message, unknotting all of those tense muscles in her back, and boy were there a lot of them. “You need to relax a little, dear. You’re only hurting yourself right now.” She leaned over the pegasus to start rubbing on her stiff shoulders. Rarity’s boobs pressed up on the crest between Rainbow’s wings, giving her a little bonus massage.

Rainbow quivered a little as she felt Rarity’s warm body overtake her. Her body seemed overly sensitive to every brush the unicorn gave her, making her almost ticklish to the touch. It took a little bit of time, but eventually her body started to relax a bit and once it did that... the massage started to feel kind of good. Rarity was surprisingly good at this, or maybe she just didn’t have a good point of reference, but that mare’s horn wasn’t the only thing that was magical.

She started getting a little flustered, maybe she was enjoying this a bit too much, especially the way Rarity’s thumbs grinded against the joints of her wing bends. It was the hardest working part of her body, carrying what felt like the weight of the whole world sometimes. All that stress was melting away though... and it felt nice. Her wings started to flutter happily and stretch out, practically inviting Rarity to clean them.

“Do you think you can get my wings next?” Rainbow hummed. “I feel like I have a whole forest caught in my wings.”

“I’d be happy, too,” Rarity grinned, spreading more of the soap on the wings of the pegasus, and she started to wash the pegasi down again. It was a nice bonding experience between the two. They were having fun, just goofing around with not a care in the world, something neither of them had too much experience in. They could trust each other... they could be vulnerable with each other...

They could forget that there was a dragon in the tub with them while they wash their bodies.

Spike had been snoozing in the pool until his two captives had created a natural disaster in his bathhouse. He managed to hold on to the side to keep from flying off with the girls. After that he tried to get back to sleep but then things got... interesting.

Rarity had started groping Rainbow Dash boobs and well... he was a hot-blooded dragon. He’d have to be gay or a fool not to at least observe the situation, like a predator lurking in the deeps, and his eyes were about to do some feasting.
From his angle, Rarity had Rainbow bent over, pinned under her rather generous breasts. Her angelic white hands walked up the cyan, feathery wings, twirling and caressing Rainbow’s nubs. The white princess pressed her hips against Rainbow’s rear end to keep her from squirming too much, and boy did she squirm. Rainbow was purring like a horny animal, her tongue hanging out limply, drool getting mixed up with the steamy bathwater. Her eyes were getting blurry with happy tears, barely able to stay open.

If Spike hadn’t seen Rarity’s ironclad gold fetish in action he’d be positive the two of them were having sex. Even if they weren’t doing it, it was still the sexiest massage he’d ever seen and it was making his heart race. He pinched his legs together a little, not wanting the little dragon to stick out too much as he continued to silently watch.

“Right there...” Rainbow squeaked as Rarity started fiddling with the tips of her wings. “Yeah! That’s it... it...” She buried her face in her arms, giving a loud, stifled scream. Her wings sprung open, knocking Rarity backwards as she took off into the air. The pegasus curled up into a twitching ball, biting her lips as she spun around above Rarity. When she unclured, she let out an orgasmic howl, and a glittery spray was rained down onto those below.

Rarity got a facefull, almost stunned at the fact that she was just splooshed in the face by her best friend. “Eeek!” She screamed, splashing water in her face. “Rainbow! What on earth got into you?!”

“Oh goddess...” Rainbow hummed coyly. “I’m sorry...”

“It’s... it’s fine,” Rarity sighed, making sure that her face was completely dried off of lady cum. “Next time a warning though, OK?”

“Sorry...” she giggled embarrassingly as she landed back in the water. “Whoa! Did this shit get hotter? Can cum do that?”
“What? No that doesn’t make... but it is hotter, now that you mention it,” Rarity said, now noticing the fresh layer of steam coming from the surface. She turned around and noticed the source.

The water around Spike was boiling with streams of smoke spewing out of his nose.

It hit her like a bag of brick. Spike had been there the whole time! How in the hell did she forget the dragon that lived here?! She wanted to scream, she wanted to cover herself up or do something. But all she could do was stand there... speechless.

“Oh crap...” Spike muttered under the water. He hadn’t even noticed his worst tell going off. Whenever he got excited, he started smoking from the snout and his body temperature rose. He looked like a steamed lobster with a boner. “Uh...” he got up, smiling nervously. “Well, I think I’m clean enough and it’s getting late! Time to go to bed, g’night!” He leapt out of the tub, not even bothering to dry off before running out of there.

“Whoa...” Rainbow said. “I completely forgot he was there. Did you know he was there.”

“He... he was boiling.”

“I know, that was weird,” the pegasus said. “Is that like a dragon thing?”

“I think... I think he was checking us out.”

“Oh goddess you think?” Rainbow gulped. “Can dragons be attracted to ponies? Is that a thing?”

“I... I think I’m going to sleep too,” Rarity said, slowly getting out of the tub and walking to the door, not even bothering to put her clothes back on. “Good night, Rainbow.” She walked out and closed the door. All Rainbow could hear after that was a horrible, agonizing screech.

“Damn girl...” the sky princess said, surprised. “Wait... no one told me where to sleep.”

*****

Under the cover of night and hidden in the trees, a small shack was tucked away. In the boarded up windows, the faint glow of lamplight leaked through. The rest of the little shanty was covered in barbs and spikes. It was a scary little place, and it was packed with a gang of scary ponies. It was the hideout for the Broken Skull bandits, a rather infamous band of highwaymen that plagued the local roads. They would shake down carriages and caravans that dared crossed them, lest they taste the end of their blade... they were trouble, even giving the local soldiers a hard time. They were a tough bunch...
Well, at least that’s what their job bounty said. Within the cabin, all members of the Broken Skull gang laid defeated, some twitching in pain, some not moving at all. They had been taken out, and only a lone stallion stood above them, cleaning the blood off his knife with a white cloth.

“Honestly, you guys...” the stallion sighed, pulling out a couple of parchments from within his tattered coat. He shuffled through them, they were all bounties for thugs and murders across the lands. He finally found the one with picture of the cracked skull on it. “It says here you’re worth a good twenty thousand bits, so I was hoping for a bit of a tussle. Heck, I didn’t even use my second knife just to keep things interesting but after seeing you guys in action... well I’m ain’t mad, just disappointed.”

“Y.. you’re a monster...” One of the few living ponies groaned. He had gotten lucky with just broken arms and a concussion.

“Kid, there’s much worse things out there than me,” the stallion said, shuffling through more of his bounties, picking one from among them. “Just be happy you won’t ever have to worry about it.” he carefully stepped over the bodies and made his way to the door. “Well, you fellas have fun.”

“You... you’re not going to stay? What about t-the bounty?”

“Hmm?” the dark stallion wondered. “Oh, I was never interested in that, this was just a little practice while I was on my way to a real job.” He waved the bounty in his hand. “This here says the eldest daughter of the Platinum Family was kidnapped by a dragon, and they’re offering whatever you want in exchange for her safety. Now doesn’t that sound like something you could retire off of?”

“A-A dragon?!”

“Yessir,” he said, tossing the rest of the stack of bounties to the floor. “Figured I’d throw my hat in the ring. An old timer like me has his days numbered and I wouldn’t mind spending the rest of them relaxing in the countryside. Though if it’s in the belly of the beast that works just fine too.” He reached into his pocket, pulling out a match and lighting it. “I wonder... they say dragons can’t burn. But y’all can, right?”

He tossed the match onto the pile of discarded bounties, setting them ablaze. Within a few seconds the wooden floor started to catch as well. He closed the door behind him, leaving the wounded pony to his demise. He didn’t bother watching the shack go up in flames, all he needed was the amber glow in the night. He looked back at the note he kept.
“A dragon huh... takes down whole armies and an old fool like me wants to fight it. Must be getting senile...” He gave a long yawn. “Well... An end’s an end at the end, and with luck, that end will be to you... dragon.”

Chapter 6: When Dragons snap... they break

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.

Chapter 7: Out of the frying pan... and into the fire

Last night had been something. Spike couldn’t remember the last time he had almost died. Most ponies weren’t brave enough to try and sneak into his castle at night. He guessed that there was some rumour that dragons were nocturnal or just never slept. In truth, he would sleep upwards to eighteen hours a day. That night he maybe got five hours of shut-eye, but he slept like a log. It was the sun shining through the tattered curtains lacing his eyes that finally woke him up.

He sat up from the ground, giving a loud and long yawn as he stretched. Never before did so little sleep feel so good.

“Well, morning sunshine,” A deep voice muttered from behind him. He turned around to see Burnt Oak, his would be killer. After Rarity had knocked him out they had tied him up to one of the pillars with as many curtains, ropes, and chains they could get their hands on.

Sitting a few feet away from him was Rarity, sitting on a large rock, her head bobbing in and out of consciousness as she fought the urge to pass out. She had insisted that Spike get some sleep while she watched the prisoner. Somehow she had managed to stay awake for the rest of the night.

“I hope you make for better company than the princess, dragon,” Burnt smiled. “Little darling’s been giving me nothing but the stink eye all night.”

“You’re... a... stink... eye...” Rarity gargled, barely even awake. Her head was swinging lower with each passing moment, and it wasn’t until Spike clapped his hands right in her ear before she woke up. “Gah! I’m awake! I cut you all!” she screamed in a panic, swinging the candlestick she still had clutched in her hand. “I... oh, sorry.”

“Good morning to you too,” Spike said. “I trust he didn’t give you too much trouble.”

“No, he was rather quiet,” Rarity yawned. “I think he was waiting for me to fall asleep before he tried to escape.”

“Guilty as charge,” the old stallion grinned. “But the little filly here wouldn’t get an inch. So now I just have to wonder what in name of Sam Elliot is going on here?” He turned to Rarity. “Your highness, I was led to believe that you’ve been captured by the dragon, but given how I’m all tied up and you’re not makes me think that it was all a hoax. So what’s the real story here?”

“It’s kind of a long story,” Spike sighed. “But I guess it can be summed up as the worst deal I’ve ever made.”

“Hey!” Rarity frowned. “It’s not that bad.”

“Your father sent somepony to kill me...”

“... OK so it is bad,” Rarity said, embarrassed. “But he didn’t kill you... so that’s good, right?”

“Yeah it’s a sad day when that’s the good in the situation,” the dragon groaned. “But yeah, I am rather fond of living... thanks, by the way.” he turned away from her. “For... saving me.”

Rarity beamed. “Anytime, somepony has to protect you, you big softie.”

“Softie?” the dark stallion wondered. “He’s a dragon. There ain’t a damn part of him that’s soft.”

“Well that’s just a negative stereotype,” Rarity frowned. “Spike happens to be the kindest, gentlest dragon I’ve ever known. And yes I know I only know one dragon but that’s one more than you, I bet!”

“So you’re not his prisoner, I take it?”

“Well technically... I am.”

“Say again now?” Burnt Oak asked, looking confused.

“I’m his prisoner... but I’m not his, you know, ‘prisoner’,” Rarity tried to explain but she couldn’t find the right words. She turned to the dragon for advice. “Spike, should we tell him?”

“Tell me what?” the stallion asked, but before anyone could give him an answer the door to the room burst open. Rainbow had kicked it open, her hands busy rubbing her sleepy eyes. She was still wearing the towel as a dress and it was getting dangerously close to slipping off.

“There you two are...” She yawned. “Those mattress things suck ass. It felt like it was stuffed with goose feathers. How could anypony sleep on something so solid?” She wiped the last of the morning crud from her eyes and saw the stallion all tied up in the room. “Who the hell is that guy?”

Burnt Oak leaned his head over to try and see the newcomer. “You got another girl here? What the hell did I walk in on?”

“Oh, good morning, Rainbow Dash. I guess you don’t know about last night’s guest,” Rarity said, looking to the other princess. Rainbow was frozen though, like she had seen a ghost. “Umm... Rainbow Dash? Are you feeling alright?”

“It looks like something spooked her,” Burnt said.

“Gah...” The pegasus moaned, taking a step back while covering her mouth a little, her eyes were shot open and it looked like she was... trembling. “That... that voice.”

“That voice?” Spike wondered, looking back at the stallion. “Wait... do you two know each other?”

“What? Of course not!” Burnt Oak frowned. “I’ve never seen her before in my life!”

POMF!

Rarity was hit in the side of the head by a towel. “Eek!” She cried as it got tangled on her face and horn. When she pulled it off, she saw what had flung it. Rainbow’s wings had popped open and were stretched at full attention. She stood there naked, her cheeks red and her mouth drooling a little.

“That voice is so hot!” She screamed with ecstasy, clutching her breast with one hand while the other one started slinking down south. “I’ve never heard a voice so deep and empowering! It’s like liquid sex in my ear!”

“Eww...” Rarity cringed.

The nude pegasus princess zoomed over to the captive stallion, who was trying to politely advert his gaze. She leaned into his ear and whispered: “Talk to me forever... penetrate me with your words.”

“Pardon me?” Burnt Oak asked, looking rather terrified.

“Yes!” She cooed. “Speak to me like that!” Her legs pinched together and her fingers started rubbing up against her sweet spot. “Talk to me more, tell me what a deer is!”

“A deer?”

“Yes a deer!” She swooned, her fingers digging deeper into her honeypot. “I have no fucking idea what that thing is I want you to tell me all about it!”

Spike and Rarity watched in awe from the sidelines. The dragon leaned over to the white mare. “What the hell is going on? Is this a pony thing?”

“I thought it was some sort of a weird mare-stallion mating ritual,” she answered. “I don’t do anything this ridiculous with my treasure. I’m not a maniac.”

“Everypony else, shut up!” Rainbow growled, whipping her head back to them in anger. “I can’t hear sexy cowboy dude here and I’m almost there!” She turned back to Burnt Oak with wide, wild eyes. “Now say flamingo sky raptor with cloud swirls.”

Burnt just shook his head. This girl was nuts.

“Right then,” Rarity said, her horn glowing and plucking Rainbow up. “I think somepony needs a cool down a little.”

“W-Whoa! Hey!” Rainbow cried as she was forcibly removed from the prisoner. “No fair! I was so close!”

As the pegasus was pulled away, Burnt Oak sighed. “Thank bessie...” he muttered under his breath. Unfortunately, his little whispered tickled the ears of Rainbow Dash as she was floating above Rarity, that last mumbled sentence riding through her body like a wild bronco. Her fingers twitched, unlocking and free her pent up desires and letting them rain down below her unto her unsuspecting victim.

Rarity the first drop of cum dropped right on the tip of her nose and she instinctively looked up to see what was happening. She regretted it immediately as her face was hit by the full dam break of mare cum. Like before, Rarity was at a loss of words, but her eye was beginning to twitch as she stared up at Rainbow’s cooter. It was moist and satisfied, almost like it was mocking her.

The unicorn took a deep breath as she wiped the clear fluid from her face. “Rainbow... that is the SECOND time you’ve done that, and I fear that there may have been a miscommunication. The reason I asked you to warn me next time wasn’t because I wanted another face full of your pent up frustration, but because I wanted time to move out of the way.” She glared at her pegasus friend. “So the next time you cum on my face there will be consequences! Do I make myself clear?!”
“Y-Yeah...” Rainbow sighed, not really paying attention. She was still riding her afterglow and everything was sounding kind of fuzzy. “No problem, glad I could help.”

“Unbelievable...” Rarity growled as she gently tossed the pegasus out of room. “Splash some water in your face and don’t come back until you’ve gotten ahold of yourself. And put some clothes on!” She slammed the door behind the pegasus and sighed. “Well... that was something. Now then...” Rarity turned back to Burnt Oak. “About this bounty of yours... I’m afraid I’m going to have to ask you to not cash it in.”

“Say again now?” The old stallion asked.

“Well... mostly because you can’t,” Rarity continued. “It’s sweet that daddy decided to call every able body pony in the land to arms to rescue me, but I am in no need of saving, sir. I’m quite happy where I am now.”

There were a few moments of silence before Burnt Oak said something. “What the hell did you do to her, dragon?” He asked. “She under some sort of spell?”

“Trust me, she isn’t,” Spike said. “I’d be more than happy to give her to you, but I sort of made a deal so... yeah...”

“Well then,” the stallion let out a long groan. “I guess this is where my story ends, you gonna kill me now? Cause I ain’t got nothing left to say.”

“Goodness no!” Rarity cringed. “That’s disgusting. Do you have any idea what sort of mess that would make? Everything would be all... corpsy and you’d probably start to smell. I refuse to live in a castle full of dead things.”

“Then what are you going to do with me?”

“I don’t know! We haven’t thought that far ahead yet,” Rarity said. “Part of me was hoping you’d just... poof away to another dimension and this headache would all be over.”

“Yeah, life doesn’t work that way,” said Spike. Although it was a fair point they had made. What was he going to do with this bounty hunter. He wasn’t going to kill him and they couldn’t keep him tied up forever. That’d be like having a third damn pony living with him and he was old and didn’t have boobs. He wasn’t doing it! “Hey... can I ask you something, Burnt?”

“Might as well.”

“Why did you take the job?”

He shrugged. “Money, what else.”

“Really?” Spike asked. “Just money? Not for say glory, or the thrill of the kill?”

“Dragon, I’m sixty-two years old,” he said. “All I want is enough bits to buy myself a nice home in a quiet town and rest. The smell of blood is getting old along with the rest of my body. Hell, if I hadn’t caught you by surprised you’d be able to overpower me easily. That’s what I want, mister, to either die or retire.”

“Oh, is that all?” Rarity asked. “Well, why didn’t you say so earlier?” With that, Rarity rushed out of the room. “I’ll be right back. Spike, be a dear and untie him.”

“What? Why would I do that?” He asked, but it was too late. Rarity was already far down the hall. He growled a little. “What the hell is she planning?” It probably wasn’t a good thing that she ran off so happy, a scheme from Rarity could be horrible for him. Yet despite this, he slowly started to untie Burnt Oak. “No funny business, you got it? I don’t want to hurt you, but I will if I have to.” He lied, pray with all his heart that he wouldn’t make a move. Luckily, the old stallion was compliant, just opting to crack his back.

The two of them waited in an awkward silence for a few minutes until the door to the room swung back open.

“I’m back~!”” Rarity hummed, skipping into the room, carrying two fat sacks of gold in each hand. “Sorry for the wait, but I couldn’t quite remember how much homes cost nowadays, so I over estimated just to be safe.” She thrusted the two bags into the dark pony’s chest. “There you go, that should more than enough for a relaxing retirement.”

“Retirement-wait, what’s going on? What’s all this?” Oak asked.

“Yes, Rarity, what is all this?!” Spike screamed at the sight of the bagged up treasure. “Your idea was to just give him money?!”

“Of course not,” Rarity beamed. “I’m not giving him anything. I’m paying him to keep his mouth shut about all of this and to disappear.” She turned back to Burnt Oak. “Now then, you’re going to take that money and never show your face here again. You’re also not going to say how you got this gold either, capiche? If I find out that you did, and believe me I will find out, I will personally shove you into a giant, solid gold pony grinder.”

“A what?” He asked. “Is that even a real thing?”

“It is. My father got it for me on my birthday,” Rarity said. “It was... a wildly inappropriate present for a five year old. Plus, only my father ever really used it.”

“Sweet heavens, no wonder you don’t want to go back home,” Burnt Oak gulped. “I had no idea the king was so psychotic.”

“Hey, it’s not like he throws everypony in it!” Rarity huffed in defense of her father. “Just his enemies and ponies he hates. But you’re not going to have to worry about that because you’re not gonna be either, right?”

The old stallion looked back at the two bundles of gold. “I don’t know... doesn’t seem right, almost like cheating. After all the things I’ve done in my life, it seems odd for me to not earn my keep.”

“Especially when you’re keep is my gold!” Spike yelled. “Rarity, I get what you’re trying to do but you have no right giving away what’s not yours!”

“OK, first of all...” she said, her eye twitching a little. “All that treasure’s stolen, so your ‘taking what’s not yours’ argument is laughable.” The dragon looked like he was going to say something, but looked like he had hit a wall. “Second, I’m not paying him with your treasure... I’m using mine.”

“Y... your treasure?”

“Yes, mine,” Rarity said. “You know, the massive heap of gold and gems I was hiding in that you stole from my castle along with me? That gold. I’d say you have very little claim over it and I can do what I please with my belongings. Like paying this gentlecolt to keep quiet about all this.”

“I just...” Spike raised an eyebrow curiously. “Never thought you’d do that, considering how much you love gold.”

“I do love gold,” Rarity sighed heavenly. “Just thinking about it makes my heart flutter a little. But I’m not stupid, Spike. I know what treasure’s other purpose is besides sex. Besides, it’s for a worthy cause.” She turned to Burnt again. “So please accept my bribe, sir. I would be quite grateful if you did.”

Burnt Oak looked at the two heavy sacks of gold. “Wait, other purpose besides sex? The hell does that mean? Did you sleep with this gold?!”

“WOULD YOU JUST LEAVE ALREADY?!” Rarity snapped.

“Yikes, OK!” the startled stallion muttered, slinging the gold over his shoulder. “No need to bite my head off.” He made a mental note to wear gloves while handling his new loot, or at least dunk it in a lake first. “Well it’s been... interesting.” He turned to the window he had climbed into the previous night. He carefully heaved himself over the edge and started sliding down his grappling hook. Before he disappeared from view, he stuck his head up and said: “You folks take care now.” And with that said, he slid down the rope to retirement, vanishing from view and their lives.

The dragon and the mare were all alone now. Spike looked at the princess and smiled. “That was actually quite nice of you, Rarity. I never thought you’d do something so generous.”

“Spike, I’m appalled!” She gasped. “I’ll have you know that I’m extremely generous! Do you think that I’m so petty and possessive that I can’t even give away three hundred and forty eight coins to save not just you but myself and Rainbow and I need you to grab both my arms before I plunge myself out that window.”

“Huh?”

“Because I’m a monster!” She cried, making a mad dash towards the window. “Three hundred and forty eight! I just gave away over three hundred of my babies!”

“Ah, hey there!” Spike shrieked, grabbing the white mare’s arm before she could make it to the window. “What the hell, Rarity?! You were doing so well!”

“I don’t want to live!” Rarity whined as she fell to her knees. “No, I don’t deserve to live! How will I ever go on knowing about what I’ve done?! I just sacrificed everything that I loved. I didn’t even get to say goodbye!”

Spike groaned. “Oh for the love of- Rarity, you’re being overdramatic.”

“YOU’RE being overdramatic!” She cried. “I’m a princess, there’s no such thing as overdramatic... I... I...” Her eyes started to flutter a little. “I feel... faint.” She collapsed, all the excitement had finally gotten to her and she passed out.

Spike looked down at her. When she wasn’t throwing a hissy fit, she looked rather peaceful. “Thanks...” he said. He honestly wasn’t sure if he would have been able to give away his treasure the same way Rarity had. Sure, she had... lingering regrets on it but this was a big step for the princess and even if she was asleep he wanted to acknowledge that. Carefully, Spike scooped the princess up and started carrying her back to her room. “Now... what do ponies eat for breakfast?”

*****

“Three weeks!”

The King was sitting in the great dining hall of the castle, a large cooked pheasant was plated before him, a crispy golden brown and getting cold. He was too busy sobbing into his arms to eat. He had hardly eaten a thing for nearly a month. The loss of his daughter kept his stomach in knots and his appetite at bay. He could barely even drink water sometimes.
“Sir?” His faithful butler, always by his side, asked.

“That’s how long it’s been since I’ve eaten with my family,” The King muttered, tearing up. “It’s how long my dear Rarity has been kidnapped!” He broke down into more tears. “I-I just don’t know how much longer I can take this! Everytime I hear the door open I pray that it’s her finally coming home! And when it’s not I just want to stab something!”

“Yes I know sir,” the butler nodded. “I was there.”

“Your shoulder’s fine though, right?”

“My bone kept it from going all the way through, your grace,” the servant muttered. “It hardly impacts my daily duties.”
“Right...” he sighed. “Maybe this is karma, Sebastian. For all the things I’ve done, all the ponies I’ve sent to the gold pony grinder...”

“Flounder.”

“Huh?”

“My name’s not Sebastien, my king,” the butler said. “It’s Flounder, Flounder Scuttle.”

“Oh...” he said. “I just thought because you were a butler... nevermind.”

“I’ve already forgotten about it,” Flounder said.

“Have there been any new candidates?” The King asked. “And what about that one we sent there a few weeks ago? Burnt something right?”

“Burnt Oak, your highness,” Flounder said. “Sadly, there has been no response from him regarding his whereabouts. As grim as it may be, we’ll have to assume he lost his life. As for possible replacements well... it’s not faring as well as we’d hope. We have had very few responses as of yet.”

“That dragon bastard...” The King grumbled. “Just thinking about what he’s doing to my daughter right now makes me want to...” He took a deep breath, slowly exhaling. He needed to calm down. When he was angry he got violent and irrational, if he was going to rescue his daughter he needed to remain level-headed. “Are we sure there are no new responses in the rookery?”

“We have a pony standing by every hour of the day checking the ravens as they come. It’d be impossible for so many to have been missed.”

“Well keep checking. We need a new champion soon,” the king said.

As he finished his sentence, there was a knock on the door. Both the king and the servant turned to it with hopeful glances as a royal guard walked in, bowing immediately.

“My King!” He said. “I have news from the front gate. There is a small group of ponies waiting at the front gate. They’re requesting an audience with you, my lord.”

“What? Who the hell is knocking at my door at dinner time?!” The King roared. “Just who are these guys?”

“Umm...” the guard said, trembling a little. “They’re not stallions sir... they’re mares.”

“Mares?” He wondered. “You mean... all mares?” The guard nodded. “Crap. What the hell are they doing so far up north?” He muttered to himself before looking back at the guard. “Let them in. Do not take their weapons, don’t even look them in the eye or say a word to them.”

“My lord?”

“If you value your life you’ll do as I say,” the King said. “Now hurry up and let them in before they decide to break the door down themselves.” The guard rushed back out of the dining hall as the king sunk into his chair. “Great... just what I needed... First my daughter and now I have to deal with that old hag.” His ear twitched a little and he started sliding his seat back a few feet. “You might want to take a few steps backwards, Seba-I mean Flounder.” The butler did as he was told, just in time as well. The large wooden door to the hallway was kicked in and went flying across the room. It smashed into the table, breaking into several pieces only a few feet away from where the two were. Flounder looked horrified but the King remained calm, turning toward the hole in the doorway. “You could have knocked, you know.”

“I did,” a raspy old voice croned from the shadows. “You shitty colts don’t know how to build a damn door.”

From the hallway ten mares poured in. Each of them were scantily clad in dried leathers and furs, decorated with claws and teeth from vicious animals. With so little on it was easy to spot their intimidating figures. Stomachs were smooth and toned, some showing off abs, their arms were thick and muscular and the glare in the mares eyes reflected a lifetime worth of hunts and battles, and were filled with rage and fury.

One of them, a pink mare with a frazzled purple mane slammed the hilt of her spear to the ground, pointing at the King. “You are in the presence of the superior Amazon race! Get on your knees and bow, male!”

“Now, now Sugar Belle,” the ancient sounding voice said as a small plump figure waddled in front of the rest. “We’re in his home, in his kingdom. Even though he’s a stallion doesn’t change the fact that he’s a ruler and a king.” the plump old mare stopped. Unlike the rest of the Amazons, she was bundled up with furs like a ball, only her wrinkly green hands and head were exposed. Her white mane was pulled back and out of her eyes so she could squint at the king. “Hondo... you’ve gotten fatter.”

“Granny Smith...” The King groaned. “When are you going to do this world a favour and die already?”

“You insolent little-” Sugar Belle growled, readying her spear along with the rest of the female warriors. “You will show the Grandmare respect, lest we feed you your infernal genitals!”

“Lovely...” Hondo muttered. “As wonderful as it is to see you barbarians, is there a reason you’re here? If it’s war you want I’m really not in the mood.”

“No, I don’t want any of that,” the old mare snickered, reaching deep into her fur coats and pulled out a scrap of paper. “Can’t I just swing by your castle and ask... how your daughters are doing?”

A cold chill ran up the King’s spine. “So... you heard.”

“I have,” Granny Smith said with a smile. “Can’t say I’m surprised, either. She had no good mares to defend her, just you shitty stallions. Mares around these parts are so fragile it breaks my heart. If I had the power I’d chain the lot of you men to the breeding fields and liberate each mare in the land as the Goddesses intended it. That’s the true world order, Hondo. A female dominated world.”

“Is that why you came?” He asked. “To spout out your neo-feminism propaganda? I get it, you think males were only put on this earth to have their sperm harvested like tree sap. It’s really great and I’m sure it works great down there in the Saltlick Plains, but here we have Queens and Kings, and trust me my wife did almost as much running of this country as I did.”

“If your wife ran things you wouldn’t have dragon problems to begin with. Which is why I decided to mozy on over,” Granny Smith said turning towards the window to look at the slowly setting sun. “Hmm... starting to get late... anywho, After reading your little plea for help, I’ve decided solving your problem could prove beneficial to us. So we’re going to kill that dragon and rescue your daughter.”

“Well...” Hondo muttered. “How generous of you, to do this out the kindness of your heart.”

“Hah! Nothing in this world is free,” Granny cackled.

“I figured... how much do you want?”

“I don’t want your money,” the old mare spat, flashing her teeth at the king. “I want your daughter.”

“WHAT?!” The king yelled. “That’s outrageous! In what universe do you think I’d even consider handing my baby girl to you... savages!”

“Because us ‘savages’ are the strongest ponies there are,” Granny said. “And I bet that you would rather see your daughter safe in our care than hostage to that beast.” The King kept his cold stare at her, not that she minded, the Grandmare knew she was right, and that the King knew that as well. “She’d be in good hands, Hondo. Afterall... she’ll be marrying my granddaughter.”

There was an array of gasps from within the room. All the Amazons were shocked upon hearing this, clearly they weren’t informed on the old mare’s plans.

“G-Grandmare, are you sure about that?” Sugar Belle asked. “I’ll admit that the princess is beautiful but your Granddaughter deserves better!”

“My granddaughter would spend the rest of her life hunting and killing if she had her way,” Granny muttered. “I can respect that, but as my successor she has a duty to take a wife to bear a child. Besides you all had your chance to woo her and you failed. The lot of you.” the girls all hung their heads down low. “Besides, this way we liberate another mare to the right path... the fact it’s this fat bastards daughter makes it all the more sweeter. So what do you say, King of the kidnapped daughter?”

Fewer ponies made him as genocidal as The Grandmare of the Amazons. The two had a rather... tattered past. Many wars fought... none with any winners. He didn’t want to admit it, but having his daughter married to an Amazon would also lead to an alliance, even if they hated stallions it was still his daughter. Rarity would be safe... in the end, that’s all a father could hope for. “This granddaughter of yours. She can save my daughter?”

The old mare waved him over. “Come to the window, I want to show you something...” The King got up and walked over next to her, staring out to the many fields that surrounded the castle. “Look out by the sunset, do ya notice something?” She asked, reaching into her coat and pulled out a spyglass.

The King looked through the telescope, seeing the large, rocky-looking thing making its way towards the castle. “Is that... a rock troll?” he asked. Although it looked like it was walking funny, almost like it was crawling or floating. “It’s moving a little weird... is it hurt?”

Granny nodded. “Big, ugly, and skin harder than a boulder. Normal weapons would just bounce off of it like they were nothing.” She said. “My granddaughter couldn’t find a dragon, so we figured this would be the next best thing.”

“For what?”

“To show off her strength,” she said, putting a boney finger on top of the telescope and pushing it down a little, fixing the view on a lone pony. It was an orange skinned mare with a mane like fresh straw. She had no weapons and no armour other than the few patches of cow hide that made up her loincloth and bra and a satchel tied to her side. Over her shoulder was one of the limbs of the Rock troll. She was dragging it towards the castle effortlessly. “Hondo Platinum... I’d like to introduce my eldest granddaughter: Applejack, the mare’s that’s going to rescue and marry your daughter.”

Chapter 8: Peace loved... is peace lost

Spike rolled around on his pile of gold. There was nothing like breaking in a hoard after a successful raid. His latest hit, the rather faraway Kingdom of Wither Spire, was a fickle but wealthy nation known for its magical research and tomes. They sold their spells and talismans and amassed fortunes, but they never did anything with it, so it was just collecting dust by the time that the dragon showed up to snatch it up. They weren’t going to miss the few scoops he took and with all their sorcery they could easily repair the damage he caused. He also double checked to make sure that he didn’t take another stowaway this time as well... something he may have to make a habit of checking from now on, unless he wanted to deal with even more princesses in his life.

Although the current princesses in his life weren’t that bad anymore. After the first couple days of packed full of shenanigans and chaos, things were slowly starting to settle down a bit. Rarity and Rainbow’s presence were known but not a complete inconvenience on his life.

Case in point, the giggles and moans coming from the pile of gold next to him. He wasn’t the only one in the castle that loved a good gold roll. Rarity’s head popped out from underneath the gold, her hair was frazzled and her breath was heavy. Sweat was dripping down her face and you could practically see the hearts in her eyes. The mare was in heaven.

“Hoo~!” The mare exhaled, letting her head rest back on the gold. “Those Wither Spirians have some truly magical treasure. I feel like I’m under a spell.”

“That may be true,” Spike said. “On the fly back over here some of the gold came to life and started screaming at me so there’s some sort of enchantment on these things. It was kind of terrifying, I thought I’d accidentally kidnapped another princess again.”

“Wait, there’s a spell that can animate treasure?!” Rarity asked, her face lighting up with hope. “I would love that! The next princess you kidnap should be good with magic so she can make my beloved sentient. It’d be nice to be on the bottom once in a while.”

“Sorry Rarity,” Spike grinned, relaxing in his hoard. “My days of kidnapping mares are over.”

“I know,” the unicorn giggled. “Just... if you change your mind...”

“Unlikely,” Spike said. “Things are just starting to get back to normal for the first time in almost a month.” It was true, after the incident with Burnt Oak things they had been worried about possible attacks from more ponies seeking the King’s bounty. However, after a few sleepless nights of keeping watch and nothing happening, Spike started to relax a bit. He guessed that there weren’t enough ponies brave or stupid enough to fight a dragon.

“Yeah...” the mare smiled. “I guess so...” She started pulling herself out of the treasure. For a girl that was so adamant on getting new dresses she hardly seemed to ever wear one as aside from a few small gems and coins stuck to her fur she was completely bare. Spike gulped, turning away slightly to not look, although it was too late. Rarity sighed. “Spike... I appreciate you not looking but it’s completely unnecessary. At this point the illusion is dead. Besides...” She grabbed a coin and gave it a quick kiss. “This is the only one for me.”

“Well I hope you two are happy together,” the dragon said.

“We will... once you can legally marry gold. I would love to put a ring on my finger... among other places.” She giggled a little to herself. "You know it’s funny, but if you hadn’t kidnapped me I’d actually be married to Blueblood, and here I am talking about getting hitched.”

“I’ve learnt not to think too much of it,” Spike said, getting up to his feet and brushing himself off. “Well, I’m off.”

“Oh? Where are you going?” Rarity wondered. “You’re not heading off to do another raid again?”

“No...” Spike said. “I’m going to get something to eat, take a long nap and then go and raid another castle. I hear if you go up north enough, there’s an entire kingdom made of crystals and gemstones. Doesn’t that sound magical?”

“And fictional,” Rarity frowned. “And you’ve literally been back a day, and this raid less than a week. Do you always go out this much or are you just trying to avoid us?”

The dragon put on a fake smile. Over the course of the month he had gone out stealing six times, hitting kingdoms that were far farther than he was used to in order to get away from the girls and his killer instincts. These raids had been the only thing keeping his more aggressive nature in check. Even though the girls had calmed down a little, it didn’t change some of the darker feelings that stirred in the pit of his stomach. Even now he heard the whispers of the dead tickling his ears, begging him to give in to what he yearned for.

But he choked those feelings down. “Nah, I just been on a real roll recently. Must be the lack of ponies trying to kill me.”
“Well just be careful,” Rarity said. “I fear you might be burning the candle at both ends here, I mean you look tired.”
“Which is why I’m going to take a nap!” Spike said a little loudly, causing the mare to flinch a little. “Sorry... I haven’t been sleeping too well. But I’m fine, really.” He grabbed his pants and quickly pulled them on. “Your concern is appreciated though!” With that, he scurried out of the treasury and disappeared down the hallway.

Rarity listened to him scutter off, folding her arms up in a huff. “Well, you don’t seem fine...”

*****

“Hey, who’s there?” Rainbow asked as she was searching through a barrel.

Spike had just walked into the kitchen to find the pegasus princess ass deep in a barrel of cabbage. The cyan mare had just nosedived into it with no regret and now her bare legs were dangling out, wildly kicking the air in a futile attempt to push herself deeper into the barrel.

Spike just sighed as he walked over to her, grabbing her by the ankle and pulling her up. The princess had a head of cabbage stuffed in her mouth and a scowl on her face. Her arms had darted down to the rim of her towel to keep it from exposing herself. She took a mighty bite of the veggie in her mouth and spat it out.

“Where is it?” She glared, shaking herself out of his grasp and landing on her feet.

“Where’s what?” He asked, dragging his hand down his face. “And please tell me you just got out of the bath.”

“I took a bath yesterday, dude,” she said, adjusting the small towel that barely covered herself. There had been a very lengthy... debate about towels not being considered actual clothing with Rainbow Dash. It was an argument that lasted three days straight with non stop screaming matches, a few scuffles, and Rarity nearly having a brain aneurysm. In the end Rarity and Spike had given up and now he had a princess who refused to wear nothing but towels... “Now answer my question,” the pegasus repeated. “Where’s all the red meat?!”

“Seriously?” Spike asked. “You went barrel diving looking for my steaks?”

“I know you’re hiding them from me!” She frowned. Another little factoid about Sky Kingdom culture: Their diet consisted of mostly eating birds raw. It was kinda savage considering how polite and peaceful they were as a nation. As of, Rainbow had never eaten much else, and when he had introduced steaks to her palate... it was almost an instant addiction. “So tell me where they are before I rip this whole kitchen apart!”

“First of all... don’t,” Spike muttered. “If you destroy the kitchen I can’t cook and you go back to eating pigeons raw.”
“They’re so boney...”

“Second, you need to eat something else besides meat, you know?” He reached into the barrel of cabbage and pulled out a head. “Have you even touched a vegetable since you’ve been here?”

“Eww, no!” Rainbow frowned. “Ponies were never meant to eat green crap, we’re carnivores through and through. You can tell because carrots and salads taste like shit. It’s our bodies trying to reject their poisonous and shitty flavour.”

“Right... well that’s all wrong,” the dragon said. “And I ain’t gonna cook you a steak unless you eat something healthy first.”

“Something that tastes so horrible can’t be good for you...” Rainbow pouted, but the look Spike was giving her meant there was no beating around the bush. She hung her head down in defeat. “Fine... just a small salad. But no tomatoes.”

“Deal,” the dragon beamed, taking a step backwards and stomping on the ground. His foot broke through the floorboards with ease, revealing a hidden door with a large lock on it. “And just so you know, even if you did fine my stash, there’s no way you were getting passed the lock.”

Rainbow looked dumbstruck. “It was in the floor! Of course! Why didn’t I think of that?” She fluttered over to the table. “Well whatever, feed me!”

The dragon unlocked the latch and pulled out a few prime cuts out, dangling them in front of him as he whistled out a stream of green fire. He bathed the meat in flames while the pegasus watched eagerly as the meat sizzled and browned right in front of her eyes. Every second it grew more appetizing and she couldn’t wait to eat it.

It was going to be a good day.

*****

“Today’s gonna be a great day, princess!” Sugar Belle grinned. She and a few other choice Amazons were slowly strolling towards the old castle atop of a hill, the lair of the notorious dragon. Leading them was Applejack, princess of the Amazon mares. Sugar quickened her pace and ran up next to her. “Are you nervous about the dragon? Think he’ll be dangerous?”
Applejack didn’t respond. The warrior princess was many things: strong, beautiful, and deadly... but she was also about as blunt as a hammer and just as cuddly. So when Sugar Belle got nothing but a cold stare, it was the equivalent of ‘shut the hell up’.

“Right...” the sugary mare said, trailing back to the rest of the group, walking up next to a pink mare with grey hair. “Hey Wrangler, is the princess always like this?”

Wrangler laughed a little. “Right, you ain’t been on any hunts with her before, have ya?” Sugar Belle shook her head. “Don’t take it personally, it’s just how she is. When Princess Applejack has a target locked in her sight she lets nothing distract her.”

“It just seems like she’s tense...” Sugar Belle said. “Come to think of it, did you see her last night during the pre-hunt celebration?”

“Nah,” Wrangler said. “She never goes to those.”

“WHAT?!” the pink mare gasped. “B-but the celebration is great! The food, the dancing, the lovemaking... It’s everything you need to feel like a real woman.”

“You don’t have to explain it to me, I was there, sexy,” she grinned, giving Sugar a quick slap on the ass. “But princess ain’t into that sort of thing.”

“Why?”

Applejack stopped dead in her tracks, and so did the rest of the girls. The orange mare looked over her shoulder with a dead glare. “Because I don’t need to stuff my face and fuck around to be a great warrior.” She started walking again and everything was quiet for a while.

That is until Sugar Belle whispered something in Wrangler’s ear. “So... what does she do?”

Wrangler leaned into her ear. “She finds a quiet place by herself and reads something that’s in that bag she always has on.”

“What’s in it?”

“Don’t know,” Wrangler said. “Tried to sneak a peek in it once and well...” she raised up her left hand and wiggled her three remaining fingers. “She pulled them out like weeds, said next time it’d be the whole arm. So if I can give you a word of advice, don’t try and look in that there bag of hers.”

“Holy shit...” Sugar Belle gulped. “That dragon is fucked, isn’t he?”

Before Wrangler could answer her, she found that there was something sharp itching her neck. The tip of Applejack’s spear was gently pressing on the mare’s throat.

“You know, maybe I shoulda ripped out your tongue, Wrangler,” Applejack said. “Then I could have some peace and quiet.”
“S-Sorry, princess,” Wrangler gulped. “Just explaining things to the new girl.”

“Let her learn shit for herself,” the orange mare said. “Now hold my spear, and wait here.” She pulled her weapon back before tossing it to the Amazon and continued towards the castle.

“Wait, you’re going in alone?” Sugar Belle asked. “And without a weapon? But that seems almost suicidal!”

“Maybe...” Applejack said. “But that dragon is gonna come at me with nothing but the gifts the goddess bestowed upon him, it is only honorable that I do the same. Just like how he’ll be fighting alone.”

“But Princess!” An Amazon protested. “The grandmare insisted we take him on as a group.”

“And I’m saying as your damn princess to stay put! I’m stronger than the lot of you put together and you’d just get in my way.” The orange mare stormed off, leaving them behind. “If I ain’t back in two hours than assume I’m dead and go home. No point in the rest of your throwing away your lives.”

Applejack walked farther and farther away from the small hunting band until she was just a dot on the horizon. The rest of the Amazons started mumbling among themselves, wondering if they should go after her, or if staying put was the right call. Regardless of what they thought, even though their princess was a crabapple, they couldn’t deny her courage and warrior spirit. In her own strange way, Applejack was protecting them by taking on the fearsome dragon alone. It made their hearts flutter a little, and a tad envious to Rarity, who in their eyes was about to become the luckiest mare in the world.

*****

Spike gave a loud yawn. Force feeding Rainbow Dash salad had really taken it out of him, not to mention grilling all that meat... how in the hell does such a small girl eat five sixty-four ounce steaks and still beg him for more? Well, whatever... he had tossed the last one across the room so he could escape and get that nap in. It was going to be a long journey tomorrow.

He gave a loud yawn, so he wasn’t able to hear the pitter-patter of feet behind him. Rarity was running down the halls towards him. She looked rather frazzled and that she’d barely had time to get dressed.

“Spike! Spike!” She yelled.

“Hah?” the dragon grumbled. “What is it? And can it wait? I’m very tired... I just made Rainbow lunch.”

“We have a problem! A big problem!”

“Like an actual big problem or a you big problem?” Spike asked. “Because if this is about your pillow only having a two hundred thread count I’m burning your bed and you’re sleeping on rubble.”

“This is not the time, Spike!” Rarity growled. “I was looking out the window to get some fresh air when I saw somepony approaching the castle!”

Oh... it was an actual big problem. “Ah shit!” The dragon gulped. “How far out are they?”

“They’ll be here any minute!” the mare cried. “It’s why I was trying to find you! What are we going to do now? Should we run? Should we hide? I don’t want to go back home!”

Spike took a deep breath. “You said that there was just one pony, right?” Rarity nodded her head. “Alright then... it’s going to be fine, Rarity. Try not to overreact so much.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well... I was going to save growing for when I went on my next raid...” the dragon said, cracking his neck a little to loosen up. “But I suppose a little growth spurt won’t be too bad. You should come to, maybe ham things up a little... you poor damsel in distress.”

“But... this pony, they’re probably really dangerous! And remember what happened with Burnt Oak?”

“That was different,” Spike said. “He was being sneaky and caught me off guard. This pony seems more like the ‘come through the front door’ type. Why else would they walk casually towards my castle in the middle of the day?” They made their way into the grand hall where the large front gates of the castle were. “They’ll be here soon, and when they show up, I’ll give them the scare of a lifetime.” He took a big inhale. “You might want to look away for a second, the transformation isn’t exactly pretty.”

The white mare looked a little confused, but turned her head away and shut her eyes. She should have covered her ears as well though, for when she turned away Rarity heard something nightmarish. The snaps of bones cracking, the rips and pops of flesh bursting, the trinkle of blood flowing and the horrible muffled screams of the dragon trying not to cry out with every being of his body.

“Rarity....” a deep, raspy voice spoke behind her. “When you turn around... please don’t scream.”

Rarity wasn’t sure that she wanted to turn around. It had sounded like Spike had been ripped to shreds by his own body. How could such a creature endure such pain and still transform again and again, and countless time as well! It was the least that she could do to turn around. Slowly, she peeked behind her shoulder at the behemoth that stood where Spike was. A true beast stood before her. A monstrous dragon rippling with muscles with jagged scales and spikes lining his body. Just touching him looked like it would hurt you. Rarity could hardly believe that this... creature was that small sarcastic dragon.

It was really hard for Rarity to keep her promise. She really wanted to scream. It almost seemed like she was going to faint but her eyes stayed fixated on a certain point. “A... A...” was all that was able to come out of her mouth.

“If it seems intimidating... that’s sort of the point,” Spike said, looking down at his massive claws. He hated this transformation. Normal dragons could grow really big or really small but had nothing in the middle like he did. It was an unnatural form and the results of some of the sick experiments that had been done to him. However, today it would serve him and him alone in scaring off the oncoming intruder.

“It’s... certainly overwhelming...” Rarity gulped. “I... didn’t realize it could get any bigger.”

“Well I did grow a couple feet...” he pondered, not noticing what Rarity was talking about until she pointed a shaky finger at his waist. Spike looked down. She was pointing at his penis.

“You can say that again...” The white mare gawked, awestruck. It was like the dragon had sprouted a third leg, and it was still hanging limb. Who knows how big it could get if Spike got a little excited and why the hell was she thinking this?! Rarity spun around, pulling her hair in front of her face. She had just been caught off guard, right? Her loyalty to her one and true love was as solid as a diamond! Maybe it was just some primal, neanderthal part of her brain putting silly thoughts in her head to confuse her. “I... I need to find some gold coins to rub.” With that, she skittered away like a mouse and disappeared. “I’ll be right back, I swear!”

Spike dragged a giant claw down his ridgid face and groaned. “Well... she didn’t scream.” But she was freaked out. It had been so long since he’d gone into this form that he forgotten it tore apart all of his regular clothes. Well whatever, maybe the intruder would be scared off by this massive penis as well. The dragon turned to the entrance, hearing the approachment of footsteps. His heart jumped a little.

They were here.

Chapter 9: The Dragon... and the Amazon

Spike got himself ready, the sound of the intruder grew with every thud that echoed through the room. His fists clenched as he took a deep breath, waiting for this pony to open the door as the footsteps stopped. If Spike were to guess, the pony was standing right outside the castle’s door, probably planning their next move. It wouldn’t be too far fetched that they thought he was waiting to ambush them, but only cowards did that... well cowards that wanted to kill somepony. He was a coward that just wanted to be left alone.

The doors blew open, he wasn’t expecting that. He was barely able to duck down and avoid getting hit by one of the flying doors. “Holy hell...” the dragon muttered under his breath. That was a rather... forceful entrance. Just how strong was this guy? When he peeked back he saw the perpetrator standing in the door’s busted frame.

It was a... girl in a cowhide bikini? Not really what he was expecting, but if she was confident enough to storm the dragon’s lair unarmoured, unarmed and alone she had to be all sorts of trouble.

It was time him to start the show. “Who dares enter my castle?!” He roared ferociously, sparks spraying from between his dagger-like teeth. “Little girl, are you lost? Or have you come to offer yourself up as my afternoon snack?” A shiver ran down his massive spine. Ponies probably tasted horrible. The orange mare was quiet though, perhaps frozen in fear of the mighty dragon before her. “Well? Are you unable to talk?” The pony started shaking. She must have been REALLY scared. She might turn tail any second now.

“I was a fool...” She finally mumbled.

Hell yeah she was. “Indeed... as are all who-”

“How could I have been so ignorant!” She cried, stomping the ground angrily and leaving a nice dent in the stone tiling. “Dragon, your pride as a warrior is as clear and large as your exposed genitals. I had no idea you were this dedicated to prove your strength as to not wear even a shred of clothing.”

“Uh... come again?”

“As Princess of the Amazons, I cannot allow such an injustice to continue!” With one hand, she grabbed her patchy top and with the other her loincloth. It took only one rip to free herself of what little she was wearing. Her massive orange boobs bounced joyfully, free from their constraints. They rested proudfully, firm and full upon the mare’s chest. She dropped her clothes and placed her hands on her bare hip proudly. “Much better, I reckon this oughta put us on even grounds.

“Oh what the hell?!” Spike gasped, covering his eyes and looking away. This girl was nuts! Why would she think taking her clothes off was a good idea? This just made things a million times more awkward. He didn’t want to fight her and he definitely didn’t want to fight her naked. Still he had to keep appearances. “I mean... it’s rare to meet such a bold mare. Tell me, what is your name, small fry?”

“It’s Applejack,” she said, raising her guard. “As you know I am princess of the proud Amazon race, a group of mare warriors and hunters who seek to correct the injustices in this world, namely mare-snatching degenerates like yourself. Though I respect you as an adversary and my prey I condemn you for your wicked gender. I will put you down like a diseased jackrabbit and claim the Princess Rarity to be my wife.”

Great... she was another pony trying to kill him and rescue Rarity. And apparently she was in love with Rarity? That freaking unicorn really needed to work on her phrasing cause she was putting way to much bait in the water. It also made things harder for him. Love was something worth dying for in the eyes of some, and Applejack had the stoic, cold look of somepony ready to jump into death’s embrace.

“I will give you one more chance, Applejack,” he said, trying to hide the begging in his heart. “Leave now to fight another day. If you fight me, you will die.” Spike’s heart was racing as he kept his cool, intimidating composure and prayed for dear life that she would take the offer.

“Heh... you promise?”

There was a searing pain in Spike’s stomach as he was flung backwards into the wall. Applejack had cleared the distance between them before he had time to react and drove her fist right into his guts. His scales had been modified to the point of being damn near indestructible but they weren’t solid. His body couldn’t be cleaved or cut by normal means but a solid punch still hurt like hell and this mare packed one hell of a left jab.

Her right hook was even nastier, driving right into his jaw and sending him upwards. He was seeing stars as he got a taste of her heel to the side of his head, knocking him onto the ground. This girl just wouldn’t let up.

Applejack looked at her fist, they were already starting to look a little scuffed up. Those scales of his were still sharp even if they seemed soft. The dragon’s body was quite fascinating.

“Well now...” the orange mare muttered. “You gonna take a swing sometime today?”

Groaning, Spike started to pick himself up from off the ground. He knew that the answer to that question was a big, fat no, but there was no way he’d tell her that, he couldn’t. But what was he going to do? He’d never actually met a pony that wasn’t intimidated by this form...

“You know what you have to do, S-4173.”

Spike froze, praying that the last hit just made him dizzy and he was hearing things, but there was no denying the feet that walked up to him. Black slippers, Night Light’s choice of footwear. As the dragon looked up, he saw that smug smile staring back down at him.

“This is a little sad, dragon,” Night Light sighed. “I’ll admit that she got the drop on you but this little spat of yours could end with a single strike. I didn’t give you this form so you could play boogeyman.” Spike didn’t answer him, he was trying to completely ignore him. “Now come on, you can feel it inside you. Everytime she hurts you that little voice inside your head screams to hit back. Why not give up this little charade and defend yourself like a true drake and not some pansy-ass lizard?”

“I am not... a pansy-ass lizard...” Spike growled.

The Amazon princess looked confused. “Uh... don’t reckon I called you that, but get up, I ain’t one for hitting my prey while they’re done. At least not yet.” Spike finally got himself back on his feet and Applejack went in for another attack. This time she aimed for his face, giving a nice windup before driving her fist at him like a bullet. However, this time she didn’t find her mark, her fist drove right into the dragon’s palm.

“Nice try...” Spike said. “But I’m ready for you now. You’re a lot stronger than I expected, I’ll admit that, but I’m stronger.”

“Nah, I just didn’t put my back into it,” Applejack said, winding one of her legs back. “Stop this one if you can!” Her powerful leg snapped up like a whip. Spike went to go catch it, but his hand came into contact with the limb, it buckled over the sheer might behind it. He was helpless to stop the unrelenting power of that kick and he was sent flying again.

This time, Spike went crashing through a door and down a hallway. So Applejack’s kicks were a lot more dangerous than her punches... he’d never thought there’d be somepony strong enough to break through his guard. He tried moving his hand, but even the slightest twitch caused unimaginable pain to shoot through his arm. His wrist was broken. It’d heal up soon, but not soon enough.

“That girl has a kick like a cannon, doesn’t she,” Night Light laughed. “Now I’m actually quite intrigued. Where was she when I was alive? Such a strong body would have been great to experiment on. I probably could have turned her into a true killing machine and unlike you she seems to have a good sense of discipline.”

“Go away...” Spike growled. He needed to focus. He needed a plan, there had to be a way to beat this girl. She had to have some sort of weakness that he could exploit.

“Exploit the fact that she’s mortal,” Night said. “She’s tough but still nothing but flesh and bones. Hell, she’s not even wearing any clothes so just do it already.” Spike could hear Applejack running towards him, the clanging of her footsteps foreshadowing to the pain he was about to feel, and it was delivered with a swift kick to his face.

His snout crunched inwards and his head snapped back, cracking his neck and knocking him back onto his feet, albeit with staggering balance. The beatdown continued as the Amazon unleashed a flurry of kicks against him. Spike managed to get his guard up, although it didn’t do much against the assault.

He could feel his forearms getting bruised, pain upon pain. Even if he wanted to go on the offensive, this girl wasn’t giving him an inch. His back was against the wall, literally. She was fast, she was tough, and she was relentless. Just an unbreakable wall of physical torment. His muscles were beginning to twitch, the natural desire to defend oneself was starting to swell up inside of him. How easy would it be for him to kill her? One slash, maybe two for good measure? All the pain could go away in an instant and he’d feel so much better after doing it. Was this agony worth all his pride?

No, he had to get those thoughts out of his head. If he could just get her to stop hitting him for a second and constrain her... maybe he could use this pain to his advantage. Focus on it, he thought, maybe it could tell him something. The strikes hurt like hell and it only hurt more... because she was hitting the same spots. These strikes weren’t random, there was a rhythm to them. Targeted strikes, something he could work with. All Spike had to do was figure out the pattern and then...

“Huh?” Applejack wondered as her kick caught nothing but air. The dragon had dropped his guard and expertly wrapped his arms around her leg. While she was still surprised, his tail snaked its way across the floor and nudged her ankle, throwing her off balance. She fell to the ground and Spike pounced on top of her, pinning her to the ground and wrangling both of her arms with his good hand, the grip was enough to keep her from going anywhere, but not too tight as to crush her wrists. “Shit...” She growled, trying to wiggle free, but to no avail.

“Well now...” Spike said, leaning closer to her. “Nowhere to run now, is there? Do you give up?”

“An Amazon never gives up!” the orange mare barked, still trying to break free. “This can only end with one of us dead! I’ll accept nothing less, ya hear me?! That’s the Amazon way!”

Spike groaned. Damn this girl was stubborn. “Well let me tell you about the dragon’s way, little Amazon. Strong dragons get whatever they want, especially when they’re victorious. It’s insulting to me that you come into my home, trying to kill me... and yet you go on about your honour? Well I spit at your honor. I will not grant you your death, nor do I wish to die... so I guess that leaves us with only one option...”

Applejack’s eyes widened for a second before letting out a heavy sigh. She rested her head back on the floor and she stopped resisting. “Fine then... just make it quick and keep it out of my hair.”

“Huh?”

“Be as rough as you have to be,” she closed her eyes. “I guess this is why you wanted to fight naked.”

“Hah?” Spiked wondered again. What was she--oh goddess she thought-- The dragon looked down between his legs. Applejack’s thighs were dangerously close to rubbing up against his shaft. He had forgotten for a moment that they were both naked, and when he jumped on top of her... holy, shit this all looked bad! He jumped off of her! “Ah! No, that’s not what I meant! I meant I wanted you to leave!”

“Beg your pardon?” Applejack asked, sitting up, looking a little confused. “You’re just gonna let me walk away?” She got up. “What in the hell is wrong with you?! You were winning and now your just letting me go?”

The dragon slumped to the ground. Could this mare not take a bloody hint? He dragged his hand across his face. “Look, I have zero interest in fighting you. Get that through your head and leave me alone.” He shooed her away, slumping onto the floor. “Go on... get out of here.”

Applejack was stunned. She had never before been in this sort of situation. Her prey had always tried to go in for the kill, even when beaten and bruised they would still do everything in their power to fight back. But this dragon... it wasn’t right. It wasn’t what she was expecting or used to... and it was pissing her off. The orange mare’s breath got heavier. Her fists clenched tightly, vibrating with anger. This was... unacceptable.

“No...”

Spike’s head perked up. “What did you say?”

“I said NO!” She snarled. Her eyes looked like they were burning, and her teeth flashed with murderous intent. “You don’t get to just quit! I don’t get to just walk away! THIS ISN’T HOW IT WORKS!” She started to storm towards the drake. “This doesn’t end-this CAN’T end until one of us is dead! That how it has to be!” She wiped her face a little. “It’s how I need it to be!” The last thing that Spike saw was the mare’s boot rocketing towards his face.

After that... everything went black for the dragon.

*****

“G-gaaah!” Rarity cried out in orgasm for what felt like the fifth time. The unicorn had ripped her clothes off and nestled herself in a little nest of treasure. She had got a good freak on thanks to a large, gold scepter straddled between her legs and a coin dancing in her mouth. She pulled the golden rod from between her legs, it was coated in her own juices. She tossed it to the side and spat out the coin. “Well... that was intense.”

She sat up, looking down at herself. Everything felt right, a normal day in paradise and yet... something was off as well. Something that she couldn’t quite put her finger on. But whatever, she shrugged it off as nothing and slid down the pile of gold. When she got to her clothes she realized... she had actually ripped off her clothes. Rarity picked up the ripped up the remains of her dress... something really had come over her.

“Oh for the love of...” the unicorn sighed, balling up the destroyed clothing and heading out of the treasury. “I can’t believe that I did that.” She headed down the hall towards her room. “Well then... I wonder if Spike’s scared off that intruder yet? He must have by now.”

Maybe after she got herself dressed again she would go to the kitchen and get something to eat. She had worked up quite an appetite. Should she get something for Spike while she was at it? He might be hungry after all this... she had gotten a bit better at cooking. It was rather nice of Spike to show her how to do a little bit and what was going on with her?! She stopped dead in her tracks. What was she thinking? That was sounding a little too romantic. Rarity’s heart started to race again, and her desire to run right back into the castle’s treasure chambers was growing.

“Yo, so we’re walking around the halls naked now?”

Good, a snap back to reality. Rainbow walked up behind Rarity without her noticing. The pegasus was gnawing on the remnants of a t-bone, and her face and neck were covered in grease stains.

“My outfit got a little torn,” the unicorn said quickly. “I was just trying to sneak back to my room to get a new one.”

“Ah-huh,” Rainbow shrugged. “If you say so. Hey have you seen the dragon around? I need him to heat up the bath water.”

“Yes, I’m sure...” Rarity groaned, looking over the mess of a mare. “You know, we did show you how to use cutlery and napkins like a civilized pony.”

“Yeah but it’s so much easier to use your hands,” Rainbow said. “And why waste napkins when I have a perfectly good dress to wipe my hands off on.”

“For the last time a towel is not a-” she stopped herself a little short, taking a deep breath. There was no way Rarity was going back down that road. “Be that as it may... it’s still rather barbaric to use your body as a dishrag. Do you not have any sense of pride?”

“No.”

“Well maybe you should invest in some,” Rarity said.

“Invest... oh, like at a bank,” Rainbow said. “Didn’t realize it worked that way.”

Rarity let out an ugly sigh, running her hand through her mane. “You’re ridiculous.”

“Maybe,” she shrugged. “ But I’m not the one standing in the hall smelling like lady-cum, so bite me.”

Rarity was going to say something, but a horrible scream echoed throughout the castle, interrupting her train of thought. The two mares looked around. It scream sounded familiar to them, and that made them nervous.

“Spike...” Rarity dropped her bundle of shredded clothes and dashed down the hall. Rainbow withdrew her wings, her towel dress popping off as she followed the naked unicorn. The two moved as fast as they could until they reached the main hall and they saw Spike and the state he was in.

It wasn’t pretty.

The dragon looked like he had been thrown to the wolves, covered in scraps and bruises. He was no longer in his giant form, not having enough energy to maintain it anymore. Spike laid limp on the ground, motionless, one might even think that he was dead. Standing above him was the Amazon, her body drenched in sweat. Her fists were red and cut up, and the hide of her boots had fallen apart. Applejack wiped her face, shaking off some of the dew that built up on her. She looked back down to the dragon, she could still hear his breathing. He wasn’t dead... not yet at least. She had a job to do, after all and her honor as a proud warrior of the Amazons was at stake. Slowly, she walked up and around to Spike’s head, raising her foot above it. One good stomp would do it.

“STOP!”

Applejack did just that. The orange mare turned to see the two princesses looking down at her from the railings. She had no idea who the blue pegasus was, but there was no mistaking that white unicorn as anypony else other than the Princess of the Platinum family. She had expected the princess to be locked away somewhere deep in the castle but here she was walking around freely... and naked...

“You’re the princess, aren’t you?” Applejack asked, her foot still hovering over the dragon’s head.

Rainbow frowned. “Hey, princesses! I’m here too you know.”

Applejack squinted, looking and Rainbow. “You sure about that?”

“Yes I’m sure!” Rainbow snapped. “I know what gender I am! I have boobs and everything!”

“Ah-huh, sure,” the orange mare said. “Look mister, I don’t really have time to deal with you, I ha-”

“Did you just call me MISTERS?!” the blue pegasus roared. “I’ll show you a mister!” Her wings popped open and she started to flutter into the air.

“Rainbow, what are you doing?!” Rarity gasped.

“I’m flying over there and showing her my vagina!” She said, turning around and leaning closer to the white mare. “Listen to me,” she whispered. “Spike’s got the shit kicked out of him. I’ll distract this bitch while you get our boy out of here.” Rainbow turned back around and glided down to Applejack, looking furious. “And I speak for all A-cups everywhere when I say we don’t need to have watermelons shoved up our fur to be recognized as women!”

“OK...?”

Rainbow flew right up Applejack, her crotch now mere inches from her face. “Also, do you see a dick up in there? Does this shit look like it could get you pregnant?!”

“I... could you please get your cooter out of my face?”

“Oh, so you admit it, I am a girl!”

“What do you want, an apology?!” Applejack snapped, bringing her foot away from Spike’s face. “Is that it? Fine.” She rolled her eyes. “I’m sorry you look like a stallion. There, you happy?”

“I will be... after this!” Rainbow spun around, whipping her foot around and connecting with Applejack’s face. The pegasi felt a horrible pain in her foot as it connected with the iron-like jaw of the Amazon princess. “Ow! Goddess damnit that hurt!” She clutched her throbbing foot and did somersaults in the air.

“Was that really necessary?” Applejack sighed. She had barely felt anything. “I’ve had buzzer stings that hurt more than that.”

“Well, that’s because you haven’t felt this!” Dash swooped down and drove a fist right into the Amazon’s stomach, which was a lot like punishing a brick wall. “Ah! What the hell are you made of?”

“Right... this is just getting sad,” the orange mare groaned. “As much as I’d think it be funny to watch you hurt yourself all day, I’ve got things to take care of...” she turned around to finish off the dragon, but her scaly opponent had vanished. “What in the hell?”

“Surprise attack!”

Rainbow leapt up from the ground and grabbed Applejack from around the shoulders. She tried dragging the muscular mare down, but to no avail. “Don’t think you can turn your back on me!”

With a little shake, Applejack was easily able to throw the pegasus off. The Amazon sighed again. “Will you just quit it? I ain’t in the damn mood to deal with your shenanigans. Now where did that dragon head off to?” So sooner did she take a step that Rainbow was right back on her. “Oh for... you’re gonna make me hurt you if you keep this up.” this time she gave the blue pegasus a little flick on the forehead, making Rainbow’s head spin.

The Sky princess felt like she she just got whacked with a stick, and dizzily tried to make her way to find Applejack again. Her hand reached out, trying to find something to grab onto to get her balance, and just as she stumbled, she caught something to get her bearings. It felt... coarse, and leathery.

When Rainbow’s vision finally straightened out a little, she saw what she had grabbed. It wasn’t anything embarrassing as what would normally happen in this sort of situation, it was just that little bag the Amazon always kept on her. Even when stripping down to nothing she still wore the sack around her waist. It felt a little bulky, like something rather solid was inside of it and whatever it was, it emitted actual emotions from Applejack.

Normally, the orange mare was stoic and reserved, not even flinching when hit, but Rainbow having grabbed the bag sent Applejack into a full on panic. Her whole face was red and she was trembling. At any moment, it looked like she was about to let out a high pitch, girly scream.

“DON’T TOUCH MY BAG!” Applejack roared as she drove a fist right into the cyan mare’s stomach. Rainbow’s guts caved in from the horrible punch, coughing up a mixture of spit and blood as she finally crumbled onto the ground. She wasn’t going to get up after that. AJ took a second to catch her breath and calmed down. She patted her bag, feeling like it’s contents were still safe. “Now... to end this.” She marched off in the direction where she thought the dragon would have headed. It was a big castle though, and Spike could have been anywhere by now...

Luckily for her... Rarity wasn’t very strong, and had only managed to drag him around the corner.

“Come on...” Rarity grumbled, straining under the dragon’s weight. “We have to get you away from that psycho.”

“Little late for that,” Applejack said. “Now step away from the dragon and let me finish my fight, princess.”

“Why do you care so much?” Rarity asked. “He’s beaten, you won, congratulations! Can’t you just leave him alone?”

“No,” the orange mare said, shaking her head. “That ain’t how it works. Amazons fight to win, and we fight to the death. I’m trying to let him die with a little honour, the way a true warrior goes.”

“Well he’s not a warrior!” the unicorn screamed. “He’s a pacifist!” Applejack gave her a weird look. “Let me ask you this: Did he ever hit you? Are you injured because of something he did?”

“Well he did pin me down at one point.”

“HE WHAT?!” Rarity gasped, dropping the drake. “What do you mean he-- look, that’s not important, what is though... is did he hurt you?”

Applejack thought about that for a second. “I guess not...”

“Because he’s not some brute,” Rarity said. “He just wanted to be left alone. That’s what we all wanted. Him, me and even Rainbow Dash, just want an escape from the outside world. Is that so much to ask?”

There were a few seconds of silence before Applejack spoke. “He... was a pacifist?”

“Yes... he wouldn’t hurt anypony, even if it would kill him. Don’t ask me why he goes to such extremes for this...”

“That’s...” Applejack growled, her fists shaking and a lone tear dripping from her eye. “That’s not fair!”

“Huh?”

“I thought he was just fucking around with me when he told me he didn’t want to fight!” She cried again. “But a pacifist? He doesn’t get to be that! He doesn’t get to just choose to not fight!” the mare gritted her teeth, grinding them like daggers as she pushed passed Rarity and grabbed the dragon. “Wake up and fight me, you overgrown fucking lizard! You need to get up and fight me like you’re trying to kill me! I deserve that much at least!”

“H-Hey! Let go of him,” Rarity said, trying to pull her off. “He’s knocked unconscious! Yelling at him won’t do you any good.”

Applejack sniffled a little, looking at the dead expression of the dragon. He was done, and she had won. Yet, there was a small part of her that knew if this dragon had tried... she would have been torn to shreds, and that pissed her off more than anything. She wanted to drive her foot right through his head like a damn shish kabob for being so weak.

The Amazon let go of him. She had to accept her victory, and Rarity was right. Killing him would be pointless. “Why couldn’t you have just been strong...” she muttered to herself before turning around and started heading towards the exit. “Come on, princess... let’s get you home.”

“I... I don’t want to go home...”

“You think I give a rats ass?” Applejack asked. “Look, you can come quietly, or I can knock your lights out and drag you out of here.”

“But I...” Rarity stopped. There was no way around this. “Fine... let’s go... umm, what was your name again?”

“It’s Applejack,” she said. “But I guess you could also call me your new fiance.”

Rarity drew a blank. “Beg your pardon?”

“Yeah, after this you and I are gonna get married,” Applejack yawned. “Apparently my Granny hates your father and this is her way of giving him the middle finger. And don’t think daddy’s gonna bail you out because I’m a woman.”

“But... I don’t like mares...”

“Well, I don’t give a hoot,” Applejack said. “Life is full of things we don’t like, but we bite our teeth and do what we have to. Now let’s go, I want to get this over with as soon as possible.”

Chapter 11: Applejack... When she was young

Rarity read that line over and over again. I think I’m in love with a stallion... and that made her feel like there was something wrong with her? The world she lived in this was simply the norm, and while other relationships weren’t as common, they weren’t chastised for being in one. Although what did she know? She fucked gold.

Still, the whole thing seemed a little troubling... ‘something is wrong with me’... why? Because she likes stallions?

She had to get to the bottom of this, she flipped to the next page but there was something blocking her light.

Uh oh... something was blocking the lights.

“How far?” Rarity heard an ice cold whisper linger in her ear. The white mare slowly turned around to see Applejack standing over her. She must have gone looking for her journal, and no surprise there, considering what was in it. The Amazon did not look happy to see her and again she asked: “How far?”

Rarity gulped. “Your kiss with Soarin’--” a hand clamped over her mouth before she was able to say anything else.

“Not so loud!” Applejack whispered in a harsh tone. She looked around, seeing if anypony else was there. “Did anypony follow you?” Rarity shook her head. “You sure?” She nodded. “You know last gal who tried sneaking a peek at my journal lost two fingers. Do you want to keep all of yours?” Rarity had never nodded yes so hard in her life. Applejack pulled the white mare out of the grass and closer to the fire and letting her go before taking a seat next to the fire.

Rarity eventually sat down across from her. The two of them just sat there in silence for a few minutes. Neither of them really knew what to say to one another. Applejack looked a little nervous as well as murdery and it was really putting the Platinum Princess on edge until it because too much for her to bear. Rarity just had to say something.

“So... you like stallions...” was all she could really think of. “That’s nice.” There was no response. “Do you... want to talk about it?”

“There’s nothing to talk about...”

“Right...” Rarity muttered. She really didn’t want to go back to the silence. “It’s just... well, as somepony who has also kept an embarrassing secret all locked up, I can say it does help to let it all out. Like... I... don’t like ponies. I like... gold in the way you’d like a mare-or stallion in your case.”

The orange mare looked up at her with a strange look. “You like gold?” Rarity nodded yes. “Huh... that’s odd I guess. Still doesn’t make you evil.”

“Evil?” Rarity wondered. “I mean from what I read I’ll admit that your tribe doesn’t have the most... positive relationship with the rougher sex but is liking one really that bad?”

She got a half-hearted chuckle from AJ. “You think it’s not a big deal? Do you have any idea what they do to straight Amazons?” Rarity was hesitant, but slowly shook her head. “I’ll tell you what they do. They denounce you from the tribe and shame you in front of everypony you’ve ever loved for your sin before your former friends and family skewer you with spears and leave you for the wolves.” She got up, marching over to Rarity and leaning over the scared mare. “It’s a death sentence, a rather unpleasant one.”

“I... that’s horrible!” Rarity was in shock, she figured that they’d just throw her in jail or something. But that... it was horrible. “Why don’t you just leave? That has to be better than staying here with these psychos when you could be free.”
“It’s not that simple,” she sighed. “I love being an Amazon, even if there’s things about it I can’t agree with. They’re still my family... and if I were to just run away... I’d be disowned. I’d be branded a coward and disgrace myself as an Amazon. There’s no way I could live with myself if that were to happen.”

“T-then what about faking your death?” Rarity asked, trying desperately to find the mare a loophole. “We could maybe find a-”

“Rarity!” Applejack snapped at her. “I’m not faking my death and I’m not running away.”

Rarity looked confused. “But then... you’re just going to be miserable for the rest of your life?”

“It won’t be so bad... at least this all worked out a lot better than I could have ever imagined. I was honestly worried you were gay after hearing the rumors of you chasing off every stallion that tried to court you.”

“Well... what if... you got kidnapped!” Rarity suddenly smiled. “That’s what happened to me and Rainbow-”

“No.”

“What?” Rarity wondered. “What do you mean, no?”

“I’m not gonna get kidnapped, that’s ridiculous.”

“Well what if you’re not kidnapped but instead you’re ‘kidnapped’ so to speak.” The unicorn suggested. “We head back to the castle, spin a little tale of you fighting ever so valiantly before becoming overpowered and taken somewhere far away where you can... hunt and murder all the small animals you’d like. How does that sound?”

The Amazon looked at Rarity quizzically. “Rarity, do you consider yourself intelligent?”

“I... yes?”

“Then stop saying stupid shit!” Applejack frowned. “I ain’t gonna fake a kidnapping! It’s like stabbing somepony from behind, it’s cowardly and I won’t have any of it.”

“I... you are the most stubborn pony I’ve ever met!” Rarity snapped at her. “I’m trying to help you and you’re acting like... like an ass!”

“Well sorry that I don’t like running away from all my problems!” The orange mare roared right back at her. “I actually have a sense of pride!”

“Well it’s a hell of a lot better than just sitting there and bitching about it!” Rarity growled, getting up from the ground and meeting the Amazon at eye level... even if she had to still look up a little. Applejack was intimidating but she was pissed off, and no amount of fear was going to shut her up. “That’s your problem, Applejack. You don’t want to solve anything, you just want to complain about it and write it all down in your little diary!”

“I didn’t sit around and do nothing, I had a plan!” Applejack barked.

“Oh, and what was this oh-so wonderful plan of yours, hmm?” Rarity asked sarcastically. “I’m just dying to hear it!”

“My plan was to die fighting that dragon!”

Silence.

Rarity had not expected that. She froze on the spot, shocked. Applejack had wanted to die? She wouldn’t run, she couldn’t confess, she refused to disappear so death was her only option? Rarity wanted to say something, but what could you say to that other than: “Why?”

Applejack sighed, relaxing a little and taking a step back from the white mare. “I... I can’t keep living this lie anymore so I thought I could at least die like an Amazon before anypony found out my secret. You know, go out in a blaze of glory... literally, I was hoping to get turned to ash, book and all. But then when he let me go I just... got so angry, like I was cheated out of my chance to save face with my family.”

“And that’s when you beat him to an inch of his life.”

“He was supposed to kill me!” Applejack yelled. “I had everything perfectly planned! I ditched my weapons, went in alone, I took my damn clothes off for crying out loud! I was even holding back when we fought, hoping he’d get the upper hand. I mean I just--I don’t--what else was I supposed to do?”

“I--Well... maybe NOT kill yourself?!” the unicorn suggested. “You’re seriously telling me that you were willing to die to keep your secret? That’s horrible!”

“No, what’s horrible it what they do to you when they find out your secret, like with my...” she paused for a second. “Like... with my mom.”

“Your... mom?”

The orange mare gave another heavy sigh. “Both of my moms were straight... they married each other to hide their secret. My one mom was in love with my dad, a stallion stuck in the breeding fields while my other mom was always going off on ‘hunts’... probably to meet up with her husband or boyfriend.” She gave a half-hearted chuckle. “Hell, there were times where I didn’t see her for years, and she made excuses that she had gone deep up north into the mountains hunting rare game, and sure she always came back carrying some exotic beast so who’s to say she didn’t do that.”

“Oh... I see,” Rarity said. “When did you find out that they weren’t gay?”

“Same day that everything went wrong,” Applejack muttered. “I found out the same day that the rest of the tribe did... the day that everything in my life went sideways.”

*****

12 years ago...

The southern lands of Equestria were always in a state of summer. Everything was hot and humid. Some ponies hated the heat, but some, like the mares of the Amazon tribe, loved it. The light and dryness of the land made living another challenge for them, just how they liked it. Scattered across the plains were the many outposts and villages that these tough as nails women lived and called home.

In the center of all this was the Big House, a behemoth of a hut, walled with the skins of hydras and built with pillars of troll bones. It was here that the Chieftesses lived with their family. It was where a younger Applejack grew up.

An orange mare, freckled-faced and a little over sixteen, yawned and rolled in her hammock. The sun glowed through the holes in the walls that were windows and shining onto her face. It was enough to get her to wake up and fling out of bed. She gave a good stretch before throwing something on and slumbering out of her room and outside where her mother was busy cooking a large beast over a fire.

“Morning ma,” Applejack yawned, drawing the attention of the frizzled maned mare.

Pear Butter, Applejack’s mother, glanced backwards ever-so-slightly before turning back to her cooking. “You know, there was a time when you were a good little girl and rose with the sun every day, early enough to help me make breakfast.”

“Sorry...” Applejack said with another loud yawn. “Just...” she bit her lip a little. She couldn’t tell her mother that she had snuck out to the fields again to talk to Soarin’. She liked her head where it was. “Looking up at the stars?” It almost sounded like she was asking a question. Applejack wasn’t the greatest liar in the village.

“Stargazing huh?” Pear asked, turning the spit of meat. “Well they are quite beautiful, right now. I suppose I can’t blame you. Just try to get more sleep tonight, OK sugarcube?” Thankfully, Pear Butter seemed to be the most gullible pony in the village. “But with your sister sick with a summer cold and your mother still out on one of her hunts I need all the help I can get.”

“Ah-huh...” Applejack grumbled, reaching for a nearby knife to cut herself off a piece of breakfast. “I hear ya. I’ll try and do better.” She bit off a huge chunk from her knife, not paying her mother much mind. The young mare had other things in her thoughts.

Pear Butter sighed. “Look, after breakfast can you lend a hand? I’m a little overwhelmed.”

“With what?”

“Oh I don’t know, running a whole damn village?” Pear Butter groaned. “Somepony has to organize hunting assignments, figure out who’s going to tend the fields, I have to find somepony to feed and water the stallions, not to mention-”

“I’ll do it!” Applejack blurted out, causing her mother to jump a little. “I mean... since you have so much on your plate, I’ll run out to the breeding fields and make sure the stallions stay alive.”

Pear tilted her head a little with concern. “Oh sugarcube I don’t know...”

“Hey, you’re the one asking for help.”

“Yes, but I was thinking more like cleaning up after breakfast and checking up on your sister,” she said. “I’m sure you don’t want to spend your whole day around filthy animals... what if you tended the cows instead?”

Applejack gave a half-hearted snort at her mother’s little joke. “Uh-huh... Don’t worry about me. Besides, it’s a job nopony wants to do. I’ll just be practicing for when I’m Chieftess.”

That made her mother light up a little. “Really?” she asked gleefully. “Does this mean you finally found a girlfriend?!”

An involuntary shiver ran up Applejack’s spine. This wasn’t the first time her mother had gotten all worked up about her love life. Applejack could hardly even mention another mare’s name without her mom wanting every little detail and when the wedding was going to be. Countless suitors, blind dates and even tournaments to earn her favour had all been set up to try and find Applejack a wife, but all it accomplished was annoying the ever loving hell out of her.

“It ain’t nothing like that,” the young mare said. “You know what? Just forget it.” She grabbed the rest of the spit of meat and started heading out of the hut. “Hey look, I cleaned up breakfast. Bye!”

“Applejack!” Pear Butter shouted out at her daughter, but it was no use. Applejack was halfway out the door and showing no signs of slowing down. “Damn that girl...”

The sun was nearly blinding as Applejack stepped out of the Big House and was greeted by the hustle and bustle of the village. Mares of all sorts were running around and hard at work, from tanning new leathers to carving up the latest kill. She took another bite of her meat stick and made her way along. The mares of the village would stop for a moment as she passed them to give her a little nod or bow out of respect for who she was. Some of the younger girls would give her a little wink or smile or greet her directly, and it was all AJ could do to give them a little apathetic wave back to those poor fools.

The Breeding Fields were only a short walk outside of town and you couldn’t miss it even if you wanted to. The whole field was guarded by a towering wooden wall, the top wrapped up in various spiky vines and venomous plants to discourage anypony from scaling the fence to escape. There was only one gate in, and there were always a few guards posted at the front to regulate who enters. It had been awhile since AJ had gone in this way, rather than sneaking in around the back through a little fox hole she dug.

As Applejack got closer to the entrance, she noticed a few mares all huddled up around something, a small steel cage. They were jabbing sticks through the bars and laughing with one another as they did so. Upon closer inspection, Applejack saw what they were harassing. Two mares covered in cuts and bruises were huddled in the center, their wilted wings trying to shade them from the sun and the prodding sticks. They were two of the outsiders that had been captured, the pegasi mares. One a bright yellow, the other as blue as a clear sky, sat motionless, unable to do anything about anything.
“Hey!” Applejack barked as she ran up to the Amazons at the cage. “What in the hell do you think you’re doing?” The girls all turned their heads, looking a little guilty as they tossed away their sticks.

“P-Princess Applejack!” One of them gulped, trying to hide her guilt with a smile. “W-What are you doing here?”

“Have you girls lost your damn minds?!” AJ shoved passed them to check up on the caged mares. “We’re supposed to be trying to convince them to join us! How is harassing them gonna make them change their minds?”

“It’s not, princess. That’s the point.”

Applejack rolled her eyes. It was an all too familiar voice that had bothered her since she was a child. She turned around to see the towering mare that was Sweet Corn, the biggest bitch in the village. Most Amazons loathed stallions, but Sweet Corn absolutely hated them. It wasn’t surprising that she was the ringleader of this little torture circle.

“Good morning... Princess.”

“Sweet Corn,” Applejack growled. “Where are the guards? There’s no way they would stand for this.

The tall mare had a sinister grin on her face as she slowly walked towards the princess. “I figured they could use a break and that my friends and I would look over the fields and the prisoners. Not many Amazons want to spend all day guarding a bunch of disgraced women and worthless men.”

“And by take care, you meant toy with?”

Sweet Corn laughed. “We were just having a little fun. And let’s face it, these two are so brainwashed by those fucking stallions that they can’t even function properly without their masters. It was a nice idea your grandmother had trying to diversify the gene pool but it’s been almost two months and they haven’t budged. Personally, I think that it’d be better if we just put them out of their misery.”

“Then it’s a good thing that you’re not in charge then,” Applejack huffed. “These mares may be prisoners but they don’t deserve to be tortured like this.” AJ turned around, scowling at the rest of the frightened Amazons. “As for the rest of you, don’t y’all have something better to do now?”

The group of mares took off in a panic, not wanting to press the wrath of the Princess. Sweet Corn was the only one that didn’t run away, but pleasantly strolled off, a sense of accomplishment plastered on her face as she left.

Still, as annoying as she was, Sweet Corn did get rid of the guards for her, and that would make this all a whole lot easier for her. Applejack double checked to make sure everypony was gone before ripping a few chunks of her breakfast off and tossing it into the cage.

“Thanks for not causing a scene,” Applejack said.

“Bloody fucking hell that’s girl’s a twat!” The yellow mare burst out, the seemingly sedated mare bursting to life and devouring the meat in front of her. “You better be grateful for my self-control cause I really wanted to shove those sticks where the sun don’t shine.”

The sky blue mare rolled her eyes with a long groan. “Seriously, Spitfire? And how the hell do you think you’d manage that?”

“I’d find a way,” Spitfire beamed, looking at the chunk of food in her fellow captive’s hands. “You gonna eat that, Fleetfoot?”

“Obviously!” Fleetfoot said, shoving it in her mouth. “What kind of dumb question is that?”

Applejack couldn’t help but laugh a little. When they weren’t pretending to be catatonic, Spitfire and Fleetfoot were two of the most lively ponies that she had ever met. Some nights when the prisoners were brought into the fields she would pop by to check up on them. They were slow to trust her at first but once they got to know Applejack they had a lot of interesting stories about the world outside of the Badlands. All the adventures they’ve been on, the different ponies they’ve met... it was like something out of a fairytale, and they’ve lived it! Applejack was always a touch jealous after hearing their tales, but she loved being an Amazon too much to give it up, even for the thrill of adventure.

“So...” Applejack said, leaning up against the cage. “I’ve been sneaking you gals bits of boar for a while now...”

“Oh great...” Fleetfoot groaned. “Here we go... Look kid, you’re very attractive and I get why you’d want to get with this but--”

“Oh for the-- I ain’t asking for that!” Applejack snapped. Why did they always assume that? “I was talking about my proposal to join the Amazons.” The two pegasi let out a loud gag of disgust. “OK, hear me out! I get it... some ponies like Sweet Corn need a good kick in the teeth, but most of the girls here are really nice. If you just give them a chance I’m sure you two could live a nice life here.”

Spitfire slowly shook her head. “Applejack... you’re a good pony. You mean well, I truly believe that. But what you’re asking from us is impossible. Like, I don’t mind the company of mares late at night. Hell, I prefer it, but Fleetfoot over here don’t swing the same way as me, and you can’t force that. No matter how hard you try.”

“And trust me...” Fleetfoot groaned. “Spitfire has been freaking trying.”

“And I’ll never stop, babe,” Spitfire beamed. “But seriously, even if Fleetfoot was gay or even a little bi we’d never be cool with what they’re doing to Soarin’ and the rest of the stallions here.”

“Well yeah but...” Applejack stammered, trying to come up with a counter argument. “You could both sneak in with me and help take care of them all. You’d get to see Soarin’ all the time and make sure that he’s being taken care of.”

“You’re describing stallions like they’re plants,” Fleetfoot said. “Applejack, you’re a smart girl, you have to know that all of this is wrong, right? How fucked up your society is?”

She opened her mouth to speak but no words came out. Things here weren’t great, but it was home. She was happy with her life, but was that just because she was born a girl? Life was cruel for stallions, but that was how things had always been. Applejack started shaking a little. Even if she knew it was wrong what could she do about it? She was one mare. Taking a stand for the stallions was basically a death sentence.

Spitfire gave Fleetfoot a quick kick. “That’s enough Fleet, you’re scaring her.” She turned to AJ. “I wouldn’t worry about it too much, Applejack. We’ll figure something out soon. Anyways, why don’t you head off? We’ve taken enough of your time as is.”

Applejack calmed down a little and nodded. It was nice visiting the two pegasi, but there was somepony else she wanted to meet up with today. The young Amazon waved goodbye to her friends before heading through the gate and into the fields.

There wasn’t much to the fields other than an empty, sunbleached lot of dead grass and a narrow dirt road. The only other thing of note were the rows of stakes pierced into the ground with a weathered stallion tied to them. It always broke her heart to walk passed all these worn downed men, hanging limplessly, little more than skin and bone, their spirits crushed from a lifetime of submission to their female masters. Even as she walked passed them they barely paid her any mind, it wasn’t worth the energy for them to try and look up. There were only a few ponies among them that had the strength to look up at her. And one of these stallions was the fresh meat they caught not too long ago. Isolated from the rest of the fields, it was a tall, ripped stud with a greasy black mane and light blue fur.

Soarin’ was smiling as he usually was. Despite being tied up for almost two months in the hot sun his spirit never seemed to damper, and when he saw Applejack walking towards him he did his best to wave with his tied up hands.

“Hey, good morning Applejack!” He yelled. “Fancy seeing you here!”

Applejack turned red as her heart skipped a few beats. Just the sound of his voice was like heaven. She quickened her pace and ran right up to Soarin’, stopping just short of running into him.

“H-hey...” Applejack stammered, her fingers twiddling little knots in her hair. “I know I said I’d see you tomorrow night b-but...” She was nervous, why was she so nervous? “I offered to feed the men today.”

“Well that was sweet of you,” Soarin’ chuckled. “Of course, any excuse to talk to you is good in my books. So what’s new with you? Anything interesting going on today? Seriously I’ll take anything at this point.”

“Nothing much...” The Amazon shrugged, her fingers getting tangled in her golden locks. “Just the same ol’ crap on a different day. I did run into Spits and Fleet on the way in. They’re...” She paused for a moment, not sure if she wanted to upset Soarin’ with the news of how they were treated.

After a few seconds of silence, Soarin’ spoke up. “That bad, huh?” He asked, his smile waning a bit. “You’ve been talking to them like I’ve asked, right?”

Applejack let out a loud groan. “Don’t get me started. Those two are as stubborn as a pack of mules. It doesn’t matter what I say, they care too much about you to betray you like that. It’s kind of admirable when you think about it.”

“Yeah...” Soarin’ grumbled. “A lot of good that’s gonna do us, right? Still, I appreciate you trying.”

“Hey, I’m sure that they’ll come around eventually...”

“Need it to be a bit sooner than--” Soarin’ caught himself, looking a little panicked. “I mean- it’d be nice if they came around sooner rather than later.”

“Hold it, partner,” Applejack frowned. “What do you mean, ‘need to be a bit sooner’, huh?”

“Nothing, just misspoke,” the pegasus said. “Don’t read too much into it.”

“Soarin’,” Applejack got right up in his face, glaring him down. “Tell me.”

Soarin’ coward a little in the intimidating presence of the Amazon. He didn’t really have much of a backbone in these cases. “Look... I’m going to tell you what I mean, but you have to promise not to do anything crazy when I tell you, you promise?” Applejack nodded and he continued. “OK then... so you know how your grandmother hasn’t executed any of us because we’re pegasi and she wants some winged Amazons? Well she’s getting kind of fed up with Spitfire and Fleetfoot being so uncooperative, so much that she’s given them an ultimatum...” He was shaking a little, still trying to keep his smile. “They can either join the Amazons or they’re going to be executed by the end of the week.”

Applejack froze. This had to be a joke, right? Soarin’ was usually a funny guy but even he could tell a really bad one, right? She looked at him, waiting for the punchline or the misdirection or something to show that this wasn’t true. But all she saw was his smile drop and a few tears roll down his eyes.

“No... My-my Granny wouldn’t do that!”

“I’m so sorry, Applejack,” Soarin’ said. “I wish I was lying, but this is why you have to convince them to join them! I’m helpless to do anything about it, but you can still keep my friends alive! It might not be the life they want, but it’s still a life!”

“B-but... if they know this and are still saying no...”

“They have this stupid notion that they’re being honorable to stick it out for my sake,” Soarin’ said. “But I don’t want that. I just want my friends to be safe.”

Applejack was still a little loss. Her Granny, a mare she’d looked up to her entire life had sentenced two mares to death for not conforming to the Amazon ways. The young mare started wondering if this was the first time this had happened, or if she had just been blind to all of it before. Did her mothers know about this as well? Did they support this? Spitfire and Fleetfoot were good mares that didn’t deserve any of this, and now they were going to die because they were different? It was all just so...

Wrong.

“No...” Applejack said, her fists shaking with a newfound rage. “I won’t let that happen.”

“So you’ll get them to see reason?” Soarin’ asked hopefully. The mare shook her head as she reached up to ropes binding Soarin’s hands to his stake and quickly untied them. He fell to the ground. “What are you do-”

He was cut off by a pair of lips pressing against his. Applejack’s kiss had caught him off guard with her sudden burst of bravado. The first time they kissed it took Applejack three hours to finally work up the courage to make the plunge. She had been confused with her feelings and what they meant but now, after hearing all of this she knew that what she felt wasn’t wrong.

It was the world around her, and she was going to fix it.

She broke the kiss with the dumbfounded stallion. “Get up, sugar cube,” Applejack said. “I’m gonna need a hand.”

“With what?” He asked.

“Freeing all the stallions and your friends,” Applejack said. “We’re all getting the hell out of here.”

Author's Note

Yeah that took a little long to do. I hope things can move along a little better from now on. Had to rethink where I wanted this story to go so that took some time.

Chapter 10: The secrets we hold... and the lie we live

It was a quiet and ominous walk as Rarity and Applejack left the castle. The unicorn was quite hesitant upon leaving the old stone walls that had protected her from the outside world, and leaving them felt just as painful as leaving home. Applejack kept her up in front so Rarity couldn’t try to run away or pull a fast one, but even if she did, there was no way a gentle, pampered flower like Rarity could ever hope to outrun somepony like the Amazon.

Still, there had been no time to check up on Spike or Rainbow, not even long enough to say a proper goodbye. It had broken Rarity’s heart to see her friend twitching on the ground in such pain, her sacrifice ultimately in vein. The orange mare pushed her along towards the exit and out into the fresh afternoon air.

Rarity wrapped her arms around herself, shivering a little. “Umm, Applejack. I know we’re in a hurry, but isn’t there any chance we could maybe grab me a change of clothes for the journey?”

“No.” Applejack said bluntly. “Like I said, I want to get this shit over with.”

“But... I’m cold!” She whined. “And I don’t want to walk around naked in public, what if somepony sees me?! I’m a princess! You have to let me have some dignity.”

“Are you deaf?” Applejack asked. “Or just plain stupid? I said no and I meant it. Now quit your yapping or you’re going to spend the rest of this little trip unconscious and dragged through the dirt. Y’all want that, Miss fussy britches?”

“No but...” Rarity started to say. “Aren’t you cold? You’re naked too! I mean I don’t think any of my dresses would fit you but we could work something out. I actually have this nice autumn red dress that would look great on you once we widen it up a bit.”

“OH MY GODDESS, DO YOU EVER STOP TALKING?!” The Amazon groaned. “Look, my camp isn’t that far away, there’s no pony around for miles besides them. We will get you something to wear when we get there. But if I hear one more peep from you it’s lights out and no clothing? You got it?” Rarity looked like she was going to say something, but covered her mouth and nodded yes. “Thank Celestia... now hurry up.”

Thus began Rarity and Applejack’s long, quiet walk through the barren fields of Spike’s territory in the nude.

*****

Everything hurt.

Spike’s swollen eyes slowly peaked open. Everything was still blurry but he felt like he had a mountain dropped on him. He tried moving his limbs. It was painful, but anything that was broken had healed up already. At least the pain meant he was still alive, but what had happened to the intruder, and for that matter, the rest of the girls as well.

“Well... that was pathetic.”

Spike sighed. “Can we not do this now?” Things got a little less fuzzy and he saw the disfigured mare sitting on his chest. Twilight Velvet's scarred face had the biggest, fattest grin he’d ever seen on it. “What has you so happy?”

“Seeing you suffer always makes me happy.” She beamed. “You deserve it, after all.” The dragon hoisted himself up, passing through the apparition. “So what was your strategy for that fight? Let her beat you up to exhaustion? Or maybe perhaps you hoped she would run away after seeing your terrifying form. Either way, brava, dragon.”

Spike groaned. “I didn’t have a plan, OK? I was just trying not to die.”

“And you barely managed that,” Velvet said. “Of course... you could have killed her, or even just let her take the princess. Either way it’d be less nuincances in your life. Plus you wouldn’t have to go on so many raids to keep us at bay. Although I do love our little talks we have.”

“Oh blow it out of your ghostly ass,” Spike muttered. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go and find Rarity.”

“Really?” the gray mare asked. “You know she’s probably long gone now, and you’re in no condition to go after her.” Spike ignored her, getting back up on his feet. “Did you not hear me? It’s pointless to try and pursue.”

Spike limped down the hallway. Maybe he hadn’t been knocked out that long and he could still catch her. However, the sight that he walked in on was not the one he had hoped for. Not only was Rarity nowhere to be seen, but Rainbow was lying on the ground in pain. Suddenly his body didn’t hurt as much, overcome by his worries for the pegasus.

“Rainbow!” He yelled, rushing to her side. “What the hell happened to you?”

Rainbow groaned a little, her hands still clenched over her stomach. “Spike...” she mumbled. “Is that... you?”

“Yeah Rainbow, it’s me.”

“I’m... I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I... I couldn’t stop her.” A few tears were starting to form around her eyes. “I couldn’t stop her...”

“That’s OK, Rainbow,” Spike said. “You... you did your best.”

“But it wasn’t enough...” she sniffed. “We couldn’t stop her.”

“No, you couldn’t!” Velvet laughed. “None of you could! And you want to know why? It’s because you’re weak.” She phased herself in front of Spike, flashing her pearly whites. “This is the consequence for trying to live a peaceful life when you’re a monster. Maybe if you grew some balls and defended yourself, none of these girls you apparently care about would have been hurt. You could have prevented this, dragon... and you know that.”

“I... no it’s not that simple...”

“It kind of is,” Velvet said. “Not everything has to be complicated. Life is a little more black and white than you give it credit for. If you want something, you take it. If you hate something, destroy it. If you care about something... you do everything in your power to protect it. You failed in that regard, dragon. Your little moral code might be enough to satisfy your pride, but it brings nothing but ruin to those around you.”

Spike was shaking. He didn’t want to believe that what she was saying was true. There had to have been another way to save everypony that didn’t involve death but... Rainbow was hurt, Rarity was gone, and he had almost died... all because he refused to do what was necessary.

“Stupid little dragon. Stupid, stupid, stupid...” the grey mare cackled. “You’ll get the whole world killed without lifting a finger. We really did turn you into a killing machine. I’d be so proud if I was still alive.” Spike’s fists clenched, he was angry, angrier than he’d been in a long time. Eye blank of emotion, teeth flared and smoke gathering in his mouth and nostrils. “My... that’s a look I haven’t seen in a long time. You feeling a little pissed off? Is the world a horrible place filled with monsters? Why don’t you show this world what a real monster is.”

Maybe that was all true. He could have stopped this. He could have killed her at anytime! But he didn’t and now everything was worse for it. His heart was filled with regret, his head hurt from the despair. His reasoning was disappearing... murder was starting to make sense. He was losing it.

“I... I’m gonna get her back!” Spike snarled. He could feel his body getting numb, the pain dissipating. His heart was racing as old instincts that had been suppressed for so long were beginning to resurface. “She took what was mine... she took my belongings.”

“You own these mares, Spikes,” Velvet said, grinning like a mad woman. “No one steals from a dragon and gets to live! Find that orange bitch and kill her! Rip her to shreds and grind her to dust, and slaughter anything that gets in your way!”
“No one steals my treasure!” The dragon roared! He stomped to the entrance and looked up to the sky. He hadn’t realized how late it had gotten. The sun was already starting to set. He would have to hurry if he wanted to find Rarity and the other one.

“Spike?”

He whipped around. Rainbow was trying to get back onto her feet, although kept falling back down.
“Why... who are you talking with?” She asked.

“Stay out of this,” Spike said. “I’m going to get what’s mine and bring it back.”

“Are you sure, you don’t seem right...” Rainbow wondered. “And you were talking to somepony... who’s not here.”

“I feel better than I have in ages. Now stay here and be quiet. I have some hunting to do...” He started walking away into the night, leaving Rainbow all alone in the castle, scared and confused.

*****

Rarity felt like they had been walking for hours. The sun was evening beginning to set and it wasn’t getting any warmer. Why the hell did she have to literally rip her dress off when hopping into bed with her gold?! Now she was cold. She looked back behind her, her companion was as emotionless as usual, not even shivering.

The whole walk had been quiet and nerve-wracking. Even though the land around Spike’s castle was deserted, Rarity’s mind never stopped worrying about somepony walking by and seeing her walking around outside naked as the day she was born. It filled her with a strange feeling, like there were butterflies in her stomach and it just got more intense with each step she took. It was almost thrilling that she was getting away with it...

“Up ahead,” Applejack said, breaking the silence. “You see that little ember? That’s our camp.”

“Oh... wonderful,” Rarity groaned, feeling even more self conscious. She felt a hand fall upon her shoulder and she was forced around. Applejack stared her dead in the eyes, looking almost angry. “A-Applejack! What are you doing?”

“I want to lay down the law before we go into camp,” the orange mare said. “Starting with the fact that I don’t really care much for you. You’re soft, you whine a lot, and you smell like roses. I’ve known you for less than three hours and I already want to wring your neck.”

“Ok... not exactly a love confession...” Rarity gulped.

“It ain’t one, I’m just telling you how it’s going to be,” Applejack muttered. “Besides, I reckon you ain’t too fond of me either.”

“You hurt my friends and kidnapped me--on purpose I might add!” The white mare scowled. “So no... I am not ‘fond’ of you. I actually kind of despise you.”

“Good, then we actually agree on something,” she said. “So when we go into camp, smile, don’t talk too much, don’t say anything stupid and we can spend the rest of our lives in silent resentment of one another.”

“If you hate me so much, why go through all the trouble of rescuing me?”

“What did I say about saying anything stupid?” Applejack frowned. “I rescued you because I was told to. I’m marrying you because that’s how it is. It’s only because I’m such a nice gal that I’m even telling you all of this.” She span Rarity back around and nudged her forward. “Now come on... you can warm yourself up by the fire.”

Rarity’s hung her head down low to hide her reddening cheeks. “Fine...” she said coyly. She was not looking forward to walking into this camp. If these other ponies were anything like Applejack... she was in for a bad time.

Around the border of the small camp, a few lookouts were posted, they saw the two of them approaching them from a distance, and they readied their weapons. However, as Rarity and Applejack got closer, they recognized their beloved princess and lowered their arms, rushing over to them with glee.

“Princess Applejack!” One of them said happily. “You’re back safe!”

“Does this mean you killed that dragon?” the other one asked, her eyes full of stars and hope. “Was he hard to kill? Could he breathe fire? Did he fly? Why are you naked? Did he rip your clothes off? How hard were his scales? Is it true they’re unbreakable? Did you break the unbreakable? Did you fight the power--”

“Chatterbox!” Applejack pinched her lips shut. “Enough with the damn questions. I’m tired.”

“Ooor insess” the chatty pony mumbled through her closed mouth. AJ released her. “It’s just that I have so many questions!”

“No kidding?” the orange mare grumbled. “And what about you, Sweet Corn? Y’all have anything to say?”

“Just happy you’re alive and well, your highness,” Sweet Corn said, turning to white mare. “I take it this is the Platinum Princess?” Her eyes started scanning up and down the unicorn, inspecting her. “Hmm... she’s pretty, but she seems more like a breeder than a fighter.”

“Uh, excuse me?!” Rarity snapped.

“I mean no disrespect, Princess,” Sweet Corn said, bowing a little. “It’s actually a good thing. It requires a certain kind of bravery in itself to take a male’s seed within you. I know I could never do it.”

“Well I mean it is pretty gross,” Chatterbox said. “And let’s not forget those brave mares who go out into the breeding fields to actually milk the stallions.” A shiver went up both of their spines. “It’s pretty disgusting... but if it keeps the Amazon race alive and going then it’s just another necessary evil in this world.”

“Right...”

“Well anywho!” Chatterbox beamed. “You two should head into camp, I’m sure the rest of the girls will be just as excited to see you two.”

Applejack sighed. “Just keep a lookout, OK?” Rarity and Applejack proceeded passed them and entered the noisy camp. A few tents were set up around a roaring fire. Several mares were dancing around it, laughing and singing with one another. Others sat around on the ground, drinking and eating or making out with one another. Rarity could have sworn that she heard groaning and humping coming from the tents as she passed them.

“Well then...” Rarity grumbled. This was her life now... just one big camping trip with not a smidgen of anything valuable in sight. Truly, she had just entered the first ring of hell. She hated nature, there was nothing natural about it. How ponies could live like this was absolutely insane.

“Hey!” Applejack’s voice boomed over the party, silencing everypony else. “Where’s all the food at? Dragon Slaying is hard work.”

“PRINCESS!” The horde of them screamed! Within a moment, the white and orange mare were completely engulfed by a sea of squealing Amazons. It was a barrage of noise as Applejack was congratulated and praised over and over again. Rarity was shoved around like a sack of flour, each Amazon mare wanting to get a look at the Platinum Princess.

“So this is that old king’s daughter?”

“She’s pretty!”

“She looks kinda weak.”

“Never been with a Northern girl.”

“I wonder if they’re as soft as the rumors say...”

Suddenly, Rarity felt a pair of hands clamp onto her bosoms. Some grungy looking mare with an eyepatch had decided to cop a feel.

“H-hey!” Rarity screamed. “Get your hands off of me!”

“Aww, come on love,” the eyepatch mare laughed. “I just want a little touch is all.” She squeezed a little, making the white mare squeal out a little as well. She wanted it to stop, she wasn’t just some slab of meat to be passed around and screwed, she was a princess! No, that wouldn’t even matter, she was a pony! Did the Amazons lack any sense of decency?
She would find out as her attacker suddenly let go and dropped to her knees, screaming. Applejack had grabbed the mare by the back of the neck and forced her to the ground. The orange mare looked just as emotionless as normal, not even phased by the screaming of their fellow Amazon.

“OK, listen up, you pack of bitches!” Applejack roared, applying more pressure to the mare’s neck. All the other girls quickly backed away, watching silently as Applejack continued. “I know y’all are excited about a new girl in camp, but she’s MY girl. That means she OFF LIMITS to the rest of ya. You don’t flirt with her, you don’t lay a finger on her. If I find out that any of you have done something to make her uncomfortable, I will push your damn head passed your shoulders and into your stomach. Am I perfectly fucking clear?!” there was a wave of muffled yes’s and nodding heads. “Good. Now get her fed, get her dressed and send her to my tent.” She threw the mare to the ground and started walking away. As she was walking by, she snagged a large cut of mutton from one mare and a bottle of cider from another. “I’m going for a walk, and I don’t want to be bothered for the rest of the night.” With that, she disappeared back into the darkness, heading into the barren fields.

The rest of the Amazons began to disperse, resuming whatever activities they were doing and leaving Rarity just standing there awkwardly. Two mares finally mustered up the courage to come up to her.

“Hey there,” A pink mare said to her, extending a hand. “I’m Sugar Belle and this here is Wrangler.”

“Howdy,” the other mare said.

“Umm... hello...” Rarity said, trying her best to smile. “It’s a pleasure...”

Wrangler chuckled a little. “Yeah, I’d be nervous too if I was you. As a northern gal I’d imagine all of this can be a tad... overwhelming. But we wantcha to know that we’re not all that bad.”

“And to prove it...” Sugar Belle waved Rarity over. “Let get you into something. A little beauty like yourself will drive all the girls here crazy if you keep walking around like that.”

“Ah huh...” Rarity grumbled. Well, at least these two seemed semi-normal. She followed the two Amazons into a large tent, within it were several tanned skins and hides from various animals. Sugar and Wrangler started sifting through them pulling out an abundance of different kinds of tribal wear.

“What do you think, Wrangler?” Sugar asked. “Would the new princess look better in the lion pelts or the tiger furs?”

“I was thinking cheetah, personally,” the grey haired mare said, dangling a spotted top in her hands. “But what about you, Princess Rarity? Got a favourite animal?”

“I’m afraid to answer that...” Rarity gulped. She didn’t want to find out if they made clothing out of a dead flamingo. “Just... whatever covers me up the most. I’m a little chilly.”

The two mares looked at one another and came to the same conclusion. “Wolf pelt.” they said in unison and they fished out a tiny bit of grey garbs. It looked like they barely used any of the wolf to make it, although it seemed like that was just Amazon fashion: to walk around in the bare minimum. At least this looked like it would keep said minimum warm.

“I suppose it’ll do...” the white mare sighed, snatching the pelts and throwing them on, if she could even call it that. Her top was just the legs of the wolf, wrapped around her chest like the beast was grouping her, the little wolf paws covering up her bits. At least the loincloth was a little longer than normal, and covered her hips a bit more with the drab, murky fur of the wolf. Boots seemed to be important to this tribe, and were admittedly comfortable, lots of fur wrapped up to her knees and around her feet. At least those wouldn’t be too cold. Of course once Rarity had put all of this on she somehow felt even more naked.

“You look beautiful, princess!” Sugar Belle cooed. “Very powerful.”

“Throw her into a few hunts, get yourself a few scars and you’ll be looking like a real Amazon,” Wrangler grinned. “Princess Applejack is gonna love it. Now we should get you to her tent. I imagine ya got quite a night in store...”

Rarity swallowed her vomit. If she had a bit for everytime she was told that she’d have enough to swim in. Images of every suitor she ever had flashed through her mind. She had managed to get out of all of those marriages, there was no way she was going to lose now! Her heart only belonged to gold, and there wasn’t a damn nugget or dime here to get her going. No... she had to get out of here.

The two Amazons led her out of the tanning tent and over to the biggest tent in the camp: Applejack’s private quarters. Inside was pretty much what Rarity expected. Lots of furs and dead animal skins...

“It looks... homely,” Rarity tried to say, not wanting to comment that everything had the faint smell of death on it.

Sugar Belle pointed to a small table with a spread of cooked meats and ale on it. “Help yourself to something to eat. If you need anything, we’ll be right outside, princess.”

“Thanks...” Rarity smiled, waving to them as they left the tent. From the glow of the fires she could see their shadows slowly walk away.

Once she was sure they were gone, the unicorn ran to the table with the food. Stabbed into a big hunk of it was a small bone knife. She snatched it and went to the far end of the tent and carefully started to slice the wall open, just enough so she could wiggle herself through and get out of there. Thankfully, her tent was at the edge of the camp, and no patrols were around. Rarity had few skills that one would call practical but when it came to sneaking around she was a pro. She snuck into the tall grass, keeping low and pushed her way silently through it.

“All right...” she whispered to herself. “Now which way is Spike’s castle...” She tried looking around for any signs of the castle, but the sun had gone down and it was way too dark to see anything. “Damn it...” she cursed, there had to be something... wait, there was something off in the distant... a light? Maybe it was Spike looking for her... maybe it was a monster... either way, it was better than here, so she headed towards it.

The light was a lot farther away than she thought. She was crawling in the grass for who knows how long. By the time that she got close to this new light source the camp was a good mile away. Rarity heard the flickering of a fire, somepony’s camp perhaps? Carefully, she parted the brushels around her and took a peek.

In a small clearing sat Applejack, sitting next to a small fire. A gnawed bone and empty bottle were tossed aside and she was hunched over a small book. The quill in her hand was writing vigorously, jotting down something. The orange mare was still too far for Rarity to see, but whatever it was she was jotting down, it was making Applejack angry. Her quill strikes looked like they would shred the papers and it seemed more like angry scribbling than writing.

Without warning Applejack let out a animalistic scream, slamming the book onto the ground repeatedly before whipping it out into the grass and nearly hitting Rarity with it. The white mare flinched as the book landed not to far behind her. Afterwards, Applejack grew silent, burying her head into her arms and knees.

Rarity didn’t know what to do. There was a small part of her that wanted to figure out what all that was about, but she also valued her life and AJ looked like she’d rip anypony in half that saw her like this. She turned around, feeling for the book that had been tossed. If she couldn’t get the scoop from the source... then maybe this could shine some light on the situation.

She picked the worn little book up. Like most thing the Amazons possessed the cover was leather, and the pages looked like they were barely held in. Rarity opened the book and looked at the first page.

To house all my special girl’s secret thoughts, know that this will always be a safe place.

Your mommies

The writing was quite fancy, almost out of touch with the barbaric cosmetics of the journal. She flipped the page over. The writing looked a lot more childish, with poor penmanship.

Aries 15th

My moms don’t know about this, but I stole the last of the spiced apples from the basket.

“Hmm...” Rarity moaned. A little juvenile, but she was probably just a foal. She flipped the page.

Aries 18th

I didn’t get in trouble, so I guess that they’re not secretly reading this. I guess this really is a safe place.

We went on a trip to the Breeding Fields today in class. During our lessons we were told that all stallions were demons. All males want to make us their slaves and make us weak. In the outside world, it’s stallions that cause all the world's problems, and if they weren’t required for making new ponies, they should all be killed and their wickedness erased from history.

All I saw were a bunch of sad, hungry ponies tied to poles. The rest of the girls in my class were scared of them, except for Sweet Corn. She threw a rock at one of them and didn’t even get in trouble! When I throw rocks at stupid jerks (like Sweet Corn!) I get in trouble... it’s weird.

Rarity flipped the page again.

Aries 25th

I did something bad.

I went out into the Breeding Fields two hours ago. I had to get a better look at these monsters. The way everypony talks about them seems weird, and I need to see this evil for myself. So I snuck out of the hut at night and went to the fields again. Even at night they look just as sad.

One of them spoke to me, asking me why I was here? I told him I wanted to see the wicked males but... they look like even I could beat them up, and I’m eight! He seemed worried about me, telling me to leave before I got caught.

Aries 26th

I went back to the Fields.

This time I brought some macintoshes with me, along with some juice. I’m not sure about the males being evil, but they are hungry. Mom says I eat like a pig but she never saw these guys. The one who talked to me before thanked me before telling me to go. This guy’s always telling me to go away... I asked him for his name and he said he didn’t have one. I told him that was stupid! Even our dogs get names! I decided to give him a name: Bright Mac, because if he cleaned his fur up a little, it’d be as bright as the sun, and he really, REALLY liked that macintosh. He said he liked his name and then to get lost.

I don’t care what he says. I’m going back tomorrow.

Taurus 8th

I’ve almost given all the stallions names. I’m not the most creative pony, but I think I did a good job. There’s this one colt a few years older than me that keeps giving me dirty looks, like he’s mad at me or something. He’s tied up next to Bright Mac but he’s nearly as tall as him! I decided to call him Big Mac, because of how stupidly big he is for his age and because he kind of looks like Bright Mac.

Rarity raised an eyebrow curiously. This really was a tale of all the Amazon Princess secrets. She didn’t seem to be so stallion-hating as the rest of their tribe, and her skinned crawled at the thought of how they treated the boys of their tribe. Applejack had earned a small amount of her respect for what she had done.

The unicorn flipped through a few more pages. It was mostly the same stuff. She did stop when she saw the handwriting change a little. It was the same but a lot more neat, probably after Applejack did some growing up.

Aquarius 26th

Is it strange that I’m not really interested in love?

I’m nearly 16 years old and I’ll have to take a wife soon. My mothers say I should be excited but I really couldn’t care less. There are a lot of girls my age already getting together with one another, and Celestia knows I’ve had my fair share of offers...

But I don’t know. Maybe I’ll just marry the next girl to beat me in an arm wrestling match, it doesn’t really matter.

Pisces 10th

In light of the fact that nopony other than my mothers and Granny can beat me in an arm wrestling match, I had to change my courtship requirements to picking a mare at random. Her name’s Wrangler and she seems cool enough. Strong, not bad on a hunt. We’re actually going on a hunt just the two of us today, and afterwards we’ll...

Well, you get it. I’m looking forward to the hunt at least.

Pisces 11th

When we were alone together tonight I was actually starting to get a little excited, waiting for that moment for my first kiss. I had this great buildup in my head from what all my friends said about it and when we finally did kiss...

It felt like her lips touched mine... and that was it.

So now I’m wondering what the big deal is? I was expecting some sort of magical feeling or rush but frankly I just felt embarrassed and a little out of place, like there was something off.

I told her I was tired and we went to sleep. She said she understood but I knew she was disappointed. Maybe we’ll try again some other time.

Again, Rarity was surprised. She knew all too well that strange feeling of kissing somepony you’re supposed to like, but not liking it... things were getting intriguing and she couldn’t stop reading. She flipped ahead a bunch of other pages.

She stopped on a passage that really caught her attention.

Leo 7th

I think there might be something wrong with me.

“Oh dear...”

I've kissed over six mares since Wrangler, and they all felt the same. Just... not right. I want to talk to my moms about it, but I’m afraid that she wouldn’t understand. They seem so perfect together, something I always wanted, but at this rate... well, I’m not really sure what I’m going to do.

I asked some of the guys down at the Breeding Fields. Bright Mac started freaking out, telling me not to ever mention it again. It was strange... he never yelled at me like that, he’s usually really nice... and it’s been years since he’s gotten mad at me for sneaking to the fields. Why so angry now?

Scorpio 30th

Today outsiders were captured at the border. Two mares, one stallion, all pegasi. The report said there were no casualties but several injured. These ponies may of had wings, but they knew how to fight. The mares ended up putting 23 of us into the infirmary, the stallion didn’t lay a finger on anypony... If it weren’t for those wings of his he’d be sent to the chopping block, but Granny thinks adding some diversity to the gene pool would be good for the Amazons. The two mares are locked up, and we’re trying to convince them to stay and join us... good luck with that. I only caught a glimpse of them but they seemed like the stubborn type.

Either way, I’m looking forwards to meeting the new guy in the Breeding Fields.

Sagittarius 3rd

Wow. This new guy...

So his name’s Soarin’, and he and his friends decided to leave the Sky Kingdom a few years ago to explore the world below the clouds. They had accidently walked into our territory when they got captured. He’s a pretty curious guy, for every question I had for him, he had one for me. We spent the last three nights just... talking.

It’s... been a really great 3 days.

“Oh my...” Rarity blushed a little. Things were getting a little scandalous. She never really could resist a fat, juicy piece of gossip or a good story. The next month worth of pages were all about this Soarin’ fellow. Things that they would talk about, secrets that they shared... it was strangely adorable, and Rarity felt like she was getting a little insight on Applejack. It was hard to picture the Amazon actually happy. As she was flipping through the pages, she found a whole double page blank. With something written in the bottom corner, like she was trying to hide it even from herself.

Sagittarius 30th

Dear Journal...

I kissed Soarin’ and it felt incredible.

Capricorn 1st

Something is wrong with me...

I think I’m in love with a stallion.