Oops

by Abramus5250

Rating: teen
Tags: Spike, Rainbow Dash, Comedy, Profanity, Random, Twilight Sparkle, Applejack, Discord, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Human
Length: 5131

A bored Discord is a dangerous Discord. Yet, as always, things you do out fo boredom will always come back to bite you in the ass.

When pranks are the name of the game, sometimes, you gotta take a break from it all, especially when you're reformed and no longer considered the "bad" guy. But, you'll always be considered the "weird" guy, and for Discord, the makings of a potentially huge prank are always best done with a splash of boredom.

However, things tend to take a turn for the worst if you don't know what you're doing, or don't take into account everyone that could be involved...

Published 2018-09-07 17:30:02 UTC
Last updated 2018-09-07 17:30:02 UTC

Oops

Oops

All was quiet in the Ponyville castle today. The sun was shining, the birds were chirping, and for once the world wasn't being invaded or set on fire. Everything was nice and relaxed, and with everyone else off doing whatever they wanted, the boys of the castle had decided to take some time off. So, as Spike and Discord watched a nature documentary together about the great oceans to the west, the timing seemed oddly perfect for something strange to occur.

For Discord, being the good guy could be so boring sometimes; while having fun was allowed, it wasn't the kind of fun he wanted to have. It had to be on their side of the edge, not his, something that could change things forever, but still turn out good in the end. He had a weird philosophy about that sort of thing, but he didn’t like to tell anyone about it, something about hating machines named Deus or something.

So, after a party one day, one of many whenever Pinkie Pie was involved, and after a long conversation with the young man next to him about the benefits of family, something Discord never recalled ever having, he thought of a clever prank.

Well, clever to him. Spike would never know what hit him, given his sudden entrance into adulthood, and while his refusal to settle down and simply stick to being a bachelor of sorts, Discord was more than certain he’d be capable of handling this prank. Besides, even if he couldn’t, he had a fantabulous support team to work with, so it’d end up all right in the end.

The fruits of the prank, pun intended, should be showing up any second now.

There was a knock at the door.

“Hey Spike, wanna get that?” Discord asked, pausing the show. “I need to use the restroom, anyway.”

“Sure thing,” the young man replied.

After washing up, Discord snuck back to the stairwell overlooking the front door, encasing himself in a spell of invisibility, just in case, to see… Applejack enter? Weird, he’d thought it’d be Rarity.

The farmer was wringing a bandana in her hands, obviously nervous, as she turned to Spike.

“Applejack?” He asked. “What’s wrong?”

“Spike, I was goin’ to the bathroom today, and I… you, it’s that time o’ the month…”

“Yeah?”

“I thought I’d check… it’s been some time since I did, and I thought I might as well… since I was in the bathroom and all.”

“You checked? Checked what?”

“Mah cycle.”

“Oh, right, that. I know you’ve missed one once or twice before, but it just turned out to be nothing.”

“It ain’t nothing this time, sugar. I didn’t have one this time, and it’s been too long since tha last one.”

Spike blinked. “Come again?”

“I didn’t have a cycle, again.”

“That’d be… what, three months in a row?” Spike asked. “Are you saying you’ve missed your period for three months now?”

“Yes,” she muttered. “Spike, I know it runs in tha family, missin’ mah monthly and all that, but, just in case… I went ta see the doctor.”

“And?” he asked.

The farmer was unusually silent for a moment before staring him dead in the eyes. “…I’m pregnant, Spike. It’s yours.”

Discord quietly giggled like a fiend, a whistling kind of giggle similar to a teapot steaming.

“You… you’re sure?” Spike stuttered out.

“O'course ah am! Yer the only bronco I’ve been riding!”

“Okay, okay, it’s mine. How… how far along?”

“Yeah, the doc said I was about three months into it, give or take… oh, sugarcube, what are we gonna do? I don’t think we’re ready ta be parents!”

“Applejack, calm down, we can get through this,” Spike said, pulling her into a hug. “Does Granny Smith know?”

“No, and I’m more afraid ta tell her than Big Mac,” the farmer replied. “I know he’ll understand, but he’ll still want ta kick yer ass.”

“Consider it grass anyway, if Twilight finds out,” the young man replied. “By the princesses. I didn’t… we were so careful! I always wore a condom, Twilight even made them special just for me, so they’d be one hundred percent foolproof!”

“Well then either she messed up, or we did somethin diffrent night that, though it's kinda hard to tell; they all sorta blur together,” Applejack said, breaking from the hug to throw herself at one of the chairs around a large table, face in her hands. “What are we gonna do, Spike? I ain’t the kind ta get an abortion, I just couldn’t do it, and for all we know, you can’t even abort a fireblood fetus. We don’t know how tough they are! Even ones that early!”

“Well, I know what I’ll do,” Spike said, crossing his arms.

“What’s that?”

“The right thing. I’m going to take responsibility for the baby, and we’re going to raise it, together.”

“But, Spike,” Applejack said. “What about Twilight?”

“I can deal with Twilight, you need to handle your brother so he doesn’t turn me into a paste, and make sure your grandma doesn’t try to blow that paste away with her shotgun. Applejack, we’re both adults now, we can handle this. Besides,” he added, sitting next to her and pulling her into another hug. “I think you’ll make a great mom.”

“Ya… ya really think so?” She sniffled, pulling him more into the hug.

“I’m sure of it.”

It was a very touching moment, so touching that even Discord felt a tear roll down his face from passion they felt from each other in this touching moment. But that moment was broken when there was another knock at the door. Discord, confused, watched as Spike walked away from the now-expecting farmer and opened the door to find…

A blur.

A blur that slammed into the young man, knocking him to the floor, and in a flurry of fists, started to pummel Spike.

And scream.

“Dammit Spike! You said we were careful!”

“Dash, get off of him!” Applejack cried, rushing to pry her friend from the stunned man. “What in tarnation’s gotten into you?”

“Funny you should ask!” the smaller athlete cried out as she struggled futilely in her friend’s grip. “Spike did, and now so did his baby!”

“Wait, you’re pregnant too?” Applejack asked, so stunned she let her friend drop from her arms.

“Yeah I am, and this dumb-, wait, what do you mean, “too”, Applejack?”

“I’m… I’m also pregnant.”

“Wait to go, shithead!” Dash said, slapping Spike upside the head just as he rose to his feet. “You got two women pregnant! Those condoms of yours from Twilight didn’t do shit!”

“You’re pregnant too?” Spike repeated, rubbing his head. “So then, that means…

“Yep! I’m off both the Wonderbolts judging team and on administrative leave from my coaching position for the duration of the pregnancy, citing “travel issues” for inter-continental meets. Way to go! My team needed me this season, so we’d repeat the championship!”

“Look, Dash, I’m sorry, but I honestly thought we were safe. How far along are you?”

“I’m three months, by the way,” Applejack offered.

“Just about three months, as far as the team medic can tell,” Dash screamed into balled fists, throwing herself into a chair. “Dammit, I knew I should have waited! My cycle was nearly done, but nooo, you just “had” to fuck Applejack during that camping trip, and dammit if I didn’t want to join in because my stupid boyfriend had left me, and I’d gotten all hot and bothered by hearing Applejack moaning over in her tent, and it as only going to be a one-off thing, and… dammit, dammit, dammit!”

“So, it was that night,” Applejack muttered. “Honestly didn’t think I’d conceive in a tent out in a state park, Spike.”

“I didn’t think I’d get a woman pregnant before I was married,” Spike muttered as Applejack moved to close the door. “Let alone two women.”

Just before it shut, a bright shape shot under Applejack’s arm, and engulfed Spike, spilling him and his sudden attacker onto the table.

Only they weren’t attacking him, but hugging him something fierce, and squealing.

“Spike, oh Spike, I have wonderful news! We’re going to be parents!”

Discord blinked.

Fluttershy?

Spike had been banging three women? Damn, this was getting a tad more complicated than he’d thought it’d be.

“Fluttershy, you’re pregnant?” Dash asked, anger almost immediately melting away into shock.

“Yep!” the woman beamed. “I’m about two months in! Why do you ask?”

“Then you’re in the same boat as Applejack and me,” Dash muttered, her head hitting the table with a thump. “Spike, what the hell, man? The condom failed with her too? What, were you using the same one or something?”

“No, of course not!” Spike cried out, his voice greatly muffled by Fluttershy’s smothering breasts.

“Well, this just keeps getting better and better,” Dash replied. “What’s next, Rarity and Pinkie Pie?”

“Pinkie Pie’s been seein’ some guy from outta town, so unless she’s dippin’ on the side, I doubt it,” Applejack said.

“Exactly,” Spike said. “Pinkie Pie and I have never had sex.”

“What about Rarity?” Fluttershy asked. “Ohh, this is even better than I’d hoped, we’re all going to be more than friends, we’re going to be a big, happy family!”

“Damn, sugarcube, calm down, one thing at a time,” Applejack muttered with a smile. “Now, Spike, about Rarity…”

“Doubt it, we haven’t had sex in almost a year, and seeing as she clearly hasn’t given birth, I doubt she got pregnant,” was his muffled reply.

“So, that leaves just the three of us,” Dash said. “Three of us, all pregnant to the same guy, and all so close to each other. Flutters, Applejack and I can guess, but you… when’d it happen?”

“Well, if I had to guess, it was when Spike agreed to help me with some of the animals down at the shelter over a weekend,” she replied, prying herself off the now-thrice soon-to-be-father. “I was a bit lonely, and knew Spike was technically open if he was okay with it. Besides, wasn’t he forbidden from a monogamous relationship by Princess Celestia?”

“I thought so, she said something about “tying him down too soon or summat,” Applejack replied.

Fluttershy put on a thoughtful expression, before smiling. “Oh! You think she meant for something like this to happen?”

“Honestly wouldn’t put it past the princess, I don’t understand half the things she does, never mind any of the reasoning behind them.” By this point, Dash was no longer looking like she was going to actively try and pummel Spike, but her glares were still enough to make him step back from her.

“So, I’m going to be a dad,” Spike muttered. “Three times over, by the sound of it.”

“Oh, isn’t this exciting?” Fluttershy squealed.

“That’s not the word I’d use for it, sugarcube,” the farmer replied.

“Oh, but it is! We’ll be closer than ever before! I mean, sure, we’ve been friends for years now, but now, we’ll be like sisters! I mean, Pinkie Pie and Rarity will feel a little left out, but I’m sure Twilight-,”

“-is going to kill someone!” a voice cried, and with a thunderous clap, the princess appeared in their midst, whereupon she immediately grabbed Spike by the scruff of his collar and, despite him being half again her weight and nearly a foot taller, raised him up off the ground without any effort.

“Twilight! Calm down!” Applejack said, rushing to her friend, only to be held in place by a powerful spell.

“Spike!” Twilight shouted, though “roared” is more a better term for it, so thunderous it was. “You have five seconds to explain why I have to tell my parents they are going to be grandparents again!” The air around her crackled with power, and every now and then, a small arc of what might have been lightning traveled across her flowing, on-end hair.

“What the fuck, you too Twi?” Dash groaned, looking like she was ready to fall out of the chair and slump onto the ground out of shock and despair.

“Too? What do you mean, too?” Twilight ignored the choking and spluttering sounds coming from Spike and continued to hold him in place, despite his sudden kicking motions.

“Twi, honey, calm down and listen, we need ta tell ya something,” Applejack said as Fluttershy, frightened by the angry princess, peeked out from behind the farmer. “You’re not the only one whose pregnant, all of us are.”

“What?” Twilight gasped, shocked enough for her grip to loosen and drop the poor man to the floor. “Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy… you’re all pregnant?”

“Yep, and we can all confirm they’re all Spike’s,” Dash muttered from her seat. “At least we can pretty much assure that Rarity and Pinkie Pie aren’t.”

“That still makes… gah!” Twilight cried out, a bolt of magic flying from her hands and slamming into the ceiling. “Spike! What were you thinking?!”

“I clearly wasn’t thinking straight when I accepted those condoms from you!” he cried, scrambling to his feet and out of her immediate reach. “What, did your spells have an expiration date on them or something? They were working just fine since you made them a few years ago!”

“No, my spells were impeccable, I tested them out myself, remember?” Twilight roared back, before fighting back a sudden blush.

“Twi, you and Spike… how long ago?” Applejack asked.

“When we… when we tested them?”

“Nah, when you think he knocked you up,” Dash muttered. “Fuckin’ lousy condoms…”

“What do ya mean, tested them?” Fluttershy interjected.

“Fluttershy, I… Spike and I tested out those condoms over two years ago,” the princess muttered, suddenly blushing harder than before.

“So, wait a minute, ya’ll mean ta tell me you’d been hoggin’ Spike ta yerself for over a year before any o’ us got a crack at him?” Applejack asked, crossing her arms. “Twi, we all agreed he’d be open fer business as soon as he came of age and Celestia said it was okay. She waited a full year after he was of age ta tell us it was okay. What, didja jump him five minutes after he technically was old enough?”

“What? No, no, of course not,” Twilight replied.

“She waited a week,” Spike said, earning a spell that nearly set his hair on fire.

“You are on razor-thin ice right now, Spike, and that crack isn’t helping your case,” the princess snorted.

“Well it’s true,” he muttered, not for the first time glad he was fireproof.

“Whatever, the condoms failed cause Twilight’s magic expired,” Dash muttered.

“No, I am telling you, the magic on them worked for two years, it would not have expired until I passed away,” Twilight countered. “I made sure each and every condom was magically inlaid so it would be impossible for it to break from all but the most powerful of magic, let alone let even a single fireblood sperm through its protective membrane.”

“How long had you been planning them?”

“For… for a while,” Twilight admitted. “Spike is just too sexy-,”

“-damn straight, sugar-,”

“-heard that-,”

“-he’s just so dreamy-,”

Spike merely rolled his eyes; the same excuse he’d heard countless time before.

“-but regardless,” Twilight said, cutting the others off. “That still doesn’t explain why they failed. I did my research, it’s almost impossible for a fireblood to not successfully impregnate a partner, even with regular protection. The only way to be sure would be if the partner had been sterilized, or was without a doubt barren. Even then, the odds are slight enough that they still might conceive, hard as it is to comprehend. There’s still so little about fireblood biology and magic that we just don’t understand.”

“So, anything short of your magic-infused condoms, would have resulted in a pregnancy on the first try?” Fluttershy asked. “And you tested them out with Spike?”

“Well, yes, to both those questions,” Twilight replied. “I knew the risks were great, but this wasn’t for my benefit, but Spike’s!”

“Sure doesn’t sound like it,” Dash snorted.

“It was!” the princess protested.

“How many did you go through?”

Twilight paused. “I, uh, um… that doesn’t really have any bearing on the matter right now-,”

“How. Many.” Dash repeated. It wasn’t a question this time.

“Um, about… twenty five,” Twilight muttered.

“Twenty five condoms?” Fluttershy asked.

“Twenty five… batches,” the princess admitted, putting her face in her hands.

“How many per batch, Twi?” Applejack asked, shocked. No wonder she’d been in such a good mood for the past two years, she’d been getting a good dickin’ probably non-stop!

“Fifty,” was the whispered reply.

“Twi, you been meaning to tell us, you’ve been having sex, with Spike, with his condoms, on average, at least once a day for the past two years?” Fluttershy asked, sounding… jealous.

“We’d mostly save them for romps during long trips, or during the weekends when we had nothing else to do,” Twilight whispered. “Oh by the other princesses, you must think me a slut!”

“Now, now, sugarcube, don’t go jumpin’ ta any conclusions or name-callin’ just yet,” Applejack said, putting a reassuring hand on her shoulder. “We’re not mad, we just didn’t expect ta find out you’d been ridin’ Spike’s dick like a pogo stick champ for two years is all.”

“I’m pretty sure in your situation, given what we know Spike can do, we’d all have done the same,” Fluttershy said. “You made a lot more batches though, right? You clearly hadn’t used them all if we’ve been using them up too.”

“Of course,” Twilight muttered. “Only, this newest batch must have been the one to go wrong. Spike, did you at least change every condom every time you had sex with the others?”

“Of course, Twilight, I know how to use them, you saw to that pretty well, as you just mentioned,” the young man replied, not even bothering to dodge a small spell that veered far right.

“All I know is, that I’m at least a month along, maybe two, though I have no idea when or where the condom likely failed,” Twilight added, pointedly ignoring his quip. “It could have been that train ride to Manehattan, that carriage ride out to the Badlands, that weekend during that festival…”

As they continued talking, Discord, surprised his mouth wasn’t hanging through the floorboards, decided that now would be a good time to make his escape from this unexpected fiasco of his own doing. Hmm, where to hide from an angry princess and quite a few well-connected women? The Marehamas was a good place to lay low while the heat blew over, but then again, they might look for him there. The Himarelayas? Nah, too cold, and those yeti were always in the pockets of the princesses, they’d rat him out in an instant. Maybe somewhere in the South Paceific? Yeah, there’s like twenty thousand islands there, and a lot of ocean to cover, that’d be perfect.

Yet, when he tried to teleport, he found he couldn’t. Someone had placed a spell over the castle, preventing speedy corporeal travel through time and space to another distant location, and a powerful one at that, seeing as he didn’t want to blow up the castle, he couldn’t break it.

Hmm, Twilight must've gotten a lot stronger with her magic since they last gone over the underlying principles and study of the craft.

Which meant…

“Welp, I better hide, just in case,” he muttered, slipping further from the banister, glad he was still invisible. It would have been bad if someone found him nearby and started asking questions, as they'd-

“I don’t know why, but I had a feeling you’d be a part of this,” a voice whispered into his ear, and as Discord felt a slim hand nearly crush his spine in its grip, he realized that it wasn’t Twilight's anti-teleportation spell.

It was a different princess altogether.

The next thing he felt was being slammed face first through the railing and down below, imprinting itself into the stone floor.

“Ow,” was all he could muffle, just before a knee slammed into his back and knocked all the wind out of him, his cloak of invisibility disappearing with a loud pop.

Everyone else recoiled in surprise. “Princess Celestia?” Spike shouted. “What are you doing here? What's going on? … why are you grinding Discord’s spine into the ground?”

“As soon as I’d heard what was going on, I just knew this miscreant was the cause of it all,” the princess growled, her normally billowing robes and traveling cloak was replaced by a set of sleek, sharp-looking armor that must have seen battles against some fearsome foes, judging from the dents and gashes.

“Wait, who did you hear this from? We all just found out today!” Twilight said. “And what does Discord have to do with any of this?”

“Tell them,” Celestia replied, prying the poor man out of the stone by the scruff of his neck and holding him aloft, like an angry lioness might hold a troublesome cub. “Tell them what you did.”

“You know, it really hurts, princess, that of everyone in the world, only you would immediately think I was the one to blame for this,” he muttered.

“That's because you are the only one capable of doing this, let alone having any kind of reason to do so!” She roared, shaking him violently, “Do you have any idea the kinds of problems you’ve just caused?”

“Well, no, but I didn’t think Spike would be that open in his relationships,” Discord replied, crossing his arms. “Besides, it’s not nearly as bad as everyone thinks.”

“Oh, really?” The princess replied, an eye beginning to twitch something fierce. “Not as bad as everyone thinks?”

“Yeah, you’re all just overreacting.”

“This is exactly the opposite of overreacting!” Celestia cried out.

“What did Discord do?” Spike asked.

“I poked the smallest hole into every one of your condoms, no big deal,” the man replied.

The silence was interrupted by several voices calling out all at once, “what the fuck, Discord?”

“Hey, hey now, no need for this kind of language, there are princesses here,” Discord said in a loud whisper, pointing at Celestia. “Congrats, you’re gonna be a father now, Spike. High five!”

The offered hand was met with nothing but a cold glare from the fireblood. “Discord,” he said, his tone as murderous as a chainsaw-wielding cannibal inbred, “in the history of high-five worthy moments, this is, by far, the least appropriate, and the worst I have ever heard of.”

“Aw, leavin’ a bro hangin’? Sup wit dat?” Discord muttered.

“You’re lucky I’m not going to leave you hanging by your neck at the end of a six foot rope!”

“Dude, not cool.”

“Don’t dude me one, Discord, you did this as a prank? This is awful!”

“How is finally giving you the family you’ve always wanted, awful?”

“Not like this! I didn’t plan on knocking up four women I know!”

“It’s not just them,” Celestia muttered, her grip tightening on Discord’s collar.

“What?” Twilight asked. “Who else could be expecting?”

“It can’t be that bad,” Discord repeated.

Celestia’s eye twitch increased tenfold, to where it looked more like a full-on rapid blink. “Not that bad?” The princess whispered, her voice laced with more venom than a hundred manticore stingers. “It’s far worse than you can imagine, Discord!”

“Try me,” was his cheeky reply.

“Zecora is expecting twins.”

Spike blinked in surprise, she must have been one of the first if the witch doctor knew how many she was carrying.

“All three of the sirens are expecting.”

“Must have been from that “reformation party” Pinkie threw for them,” the fireblood muttered.

“Queen Chrysalis gave birth to a litter no less than a week ago.”

Shit, she’d been the first. That must have been the first condom he’d used from the batch that’d been sabotaged!

“I have three Wonderbolt members, including Captain Spitfire, that are on leave as well.”

“What, her too? Now we’ll never take home the championship!” Rainbow Dash cried out. “Way to go on that one too, Spike!”

“Don’t need to remind me,” he replied.

“I have letters from five other delegates, including the daughter of the buffalo tribes, stating they're expecting, along with more than three dozen letters from various women across the country, including a friend of Rarity’s in the fashion world-,”

“Coco, no wonder she’s been getting into motherly fashions,” Applejack added.

“-as well as an old friend of yours, Twilight.”

“Which one?” the princess asked.

Celestia shook her head. “The better question, Twilight, is which one ISN’T carrying one of Spike’s children.”

The silence went on for a good minute as Twilight ticked off every friend she'd had or made within the last few years, only for Celestia to nod every time she attempted to speak.

"Even Tempest?" she finished, finally managing to sneak one name out.

"Of course!" Celestia thundered. "She's even asked to be next in line once she's given birth! This atrocity of a prank is becoming horrifying in the number of lives it is changing forever!"

“Good lord, Spike, you magnificent manwhore!” Discord squealed, all eyes turning to him again. “How many oil gauges have you been sticking your dipstick in?”

“What does that even mean?” Spike asked as sat down on the floor, head in his hands.

“That’s not the worst of it,” Celestia continued. “Discord is going to be punished for his crimes against this kingdom, and several others, in the only way I know how.”

“Oh come off it, it’s still not that bad.”

“Luna is pregnant.”

Dead silence filled the castle for a solid three minutes. “Oh,” was his reply.

“And I’m not!” Celestia cried.

Every head in the room turned to the princess. “What?” was the first word spoken, this time by Fluttershy.

“I'm going to have to hear all about her aches and pains and joys and emotional turbulence for the next nine months! And I’m not going to be able to help her at all, because I won’t be dealing with any of it, myself!” Celestia cried out, tossing Discord to the floor. “If not for you meddling, Discord, Spike was scheduled to meet with me tonight, where I would be his first one to have him without a condom!”

“Wait, you were planning on bedding Spike?” Twilight asked, confused.

“Yes! All damn night if I had to, just to make sure his seed took!”

Dash looked up from her chair. “Wait, aren’t you, like, his mom?”

The princess stomped her foot. “No! But the fact that everyone thinks so just makes the idea that much hotter, but also that much more frustrating!” Celestia growled. “Now our child will be the last, instead of the first!”

“You want Spike’s baby?” Fluttershy asked.

“Of course not! I want not a child, I want his children!”

Discord tried to slink away, only for the princess to jam a heel right into his back, pinning him to the floor. “Okay, so I messed up. Prank gone sexual gone wrong, I get it.”

“No, you don’t,” Celestia growled again. “You are going to be given the most suitable punishment I can think of.”

“Which is?”

“You are going to help take care of each and every child you “assisted” in bringing into this world, as well as all the women who are now expecting thanks to you! You will stay in this castle, along with every single woman you've brought this upon, and you not leave until every child is old enough to be both potty trained and weaned. That means, every dirty diaper, every feeding time, be it noon or midnight, every time they vomit, wet the bed, or cry, unless the mother says otherwise, you'll be the one to deal with it, Discord. And if you slack off, or try to influence those babies, or try to escape, I will encase you in the piles of used diapers these children will inevitably leave behind!”

Every eye turned on the man, who seemed ready to sink into the floor and stay there instead.

“Sounds fair,” Twilight said with a shrug.

“Same goes by me,” Applejack added.

“We agree,” Fluttershy and Dash said at the same time.

“Doesn’t sound harsh enough,” Spike said from his spot on the floor.

“Now then,” Celestia said, lifting her foot off of Discord, if only to give him a swift kick to the side. As an added effect, he was suddenly, in a burst of magic, wearing a maid’s outfit, earning a dark smile from the princess. “If you don’t mind, I have business to attend to.”

Spike, encased in a magical shroud, was lifted into the air, and settled next to the princess, disappeared with a loud thunderclap, teleporting away, likely to her chambers, high in Canterlot’s palatial tower.

“Well now, this stinks,” Discord muttered as he absentmindedly played with the frilly edge to his maid outfit.

“Didja really think you were gonna get outta this mess scot-free Discord? I mean, ya just made Spike a papa several times over, he ain’t liable to forgive or forget this any time soon. Matter of fact,” Applejack said, suddenly cracking her knuckles, her eyes narrowing in a fierce glare. “I don’t think my family or I’s gonna neither.”

“Mine either,” Twilight chimed in, a spell charging in the air before her, her face twisting into a scowl. “You really messed up this time, Discord, and I think it’s time we repaid the favor.”

As the two women advanced on the man, whose sudden attempt to scurry away thwarted by another spell of Twilight’s, Dash simply let her head fall against the table, Fluttershy sitting next to her friend and placing a comforting hand on her shoulder. “Wake me up when you’re done, I’ll want a shot at him too.”

So, that day, Discord finally learned a lesson that would stick with him for the rest of his life. When you’re going to prank someone, make sure it doesn’t completely change their lives, or else, you just might wind up in the hospital in a full-body cast, being healed only for changing untold numbers of dirty diapers and administering midnight feedings for the next few years of your life.

Or just don’t prank when bored. That works too.

Author's Note

A simple over-the-top idea that sprang into my head one day and would just not leave me alone. There's so many stories about Spike becoming an ungodly handsome sex devil, so there's bound to be consequences unless someone takes actions to prevent them.

So what happens when someone circumvents those precautions? This, to an extent.

Not always, but hey, it happens.