Popping my small head out of the burrow I now live in; I release a sigh as the cost is clear and brush the twig and leaf cover off the hole,extending my small gray wings as I stretched out I re-fold them than walk down the hill towards Ponyville.
Successfully plucking and apple out of a tree I take a bite out of it and shudder from the juice 'that's nice' throwing the apple core behind me as I climb further up the tree to pluck another but I was interrupted by a voice 'oh geez' a southern drawl yelled out ''What the hay!'' I look down to see the orange stetson wearing mare glaring right up at me 'shit' and I do the only thing plausible, I jumped out of the tree and bolted.
Stopping right on the edge of the Everfree forest I grinned and thought of a good catchphrase to fit this situation and smiled when I got it 'Can't catch me because... I'M FAST AS FUCK BOI!' letting out a quiet laugh at my shenanigans I decide to head back into the village 'mistake 1'.
Unbeknownst to me a certain rainbow pegasus spotted me and was not tailing me, alright time for the mental checklist 'Get dinner:check , exclaim how fast I am:check , get something warm for tonight:blank' I looked around the corner of the alley I was in and spotted a tree house and grinned 'check'.
Getting in was fairly easy because all I had to do was climb to the balcony which was surprisingly unlocked 'stupid pony..' I stepped into a bedroom with the bed having covers of constellations riddled all over it 'looks like crap but I want it' I walked to the edge of the bed and gripped onto the blanket with my mouth and pulled.\
I triumphantly tied the blanket around my small torso and looked around to see if there was anything i could take 'oh wait is that a?' the handle for the door turned and I took this as my time to go and quietly trotted to the balcony and climbed onto the edge.
Turning around to a gasping purple mare with wings and horns? oh shit an alicorn! 'screw this!' I jumped off the ledge and was about to land in some bushes but I was suddenly stopped 'wait what?' I looked around as my vision turned purple 'oh' I was pulled back onto the balcony and was dropped face first in front of the hybrid ''What do you think you were doing young colt?'' I shuddered as he tone was cold and looked away.
''I can't believe this!'' the mare turned away from me 'this is my chance!' I sprinted and jumped off the balcony and on to the bush at the bottom ''hey wait!'' I gasped as the mare literally blinked in front of me and in my daze I got up and back away 'gotta find a.... aha!' I grabbed a stick that I stepped on and tossed it at her face and than slid under her and ran.
Gasping for air as I finally make it to my make shift house and crawl into it and fall onto my stomach 'crazy ponies' I managed to untie the blanket and set it in a pile of valuables I 'borrowed' from these ponies, getting onto my hooves to crawl towards my bed space I suddenly yelped as something grabbed onto my back leg 'what the hell!' I looked back to see a cyan hoof grabbing on to my back one.
Kicking at it for a bit was useless and reluctantly I was dragged out of my hole to five familiar mares I knew 'great' trying to move back was futile as the cyan one held me in place 'c'mon let me go!' ''ya' see here Twilight? this is the varmint that keeps stealing ma' apples!'' ah applejack the element of honesty and yet so gullible.
The lavender alicorn glared down at me as she spoke ''now I don't know what has caused you to steal from all these nice ponies, this could give you some time in the dungeon 'sweet free food' but since you are just a colt i'll let this one slide on once condition'' I looked her straight in the eyes and tilted my head ''you are going to return all the items you stole back to their owners and apologize to Applejack'' I looked to the lavender one and to the orange one ''pass'' I slipped through RainbowDash's grip and jumped back into the hole in the ground and away from the gasping mares as I dug through the pile of valuables I find what I was looking for.
Letting out a high pitched scream as I saw the face of the pink party pony literally phasing its way through my entrance I panicked and hoofed her in the nose making her fall back 'geez one day I am going to get a heart attack' as I blow away the strand of prismetallic hair away from my face I take the a box of matches in one wing and in the other I rub a single match on the box and let the sparks fall on the blanket as I drop the matches and make my escape through the back entrance of the hole.
Looking back to see the mares struggling to put out the flame that was once my home I sprinted to the village as fast as I could until I completely stopped as I felt a tugging sensation pull my face to face the yellow pink maned pegasus staring me down as I froze struggling to move 'what the hell??! I thought the stare only worked on animals!' this lasted for a few minutes until the mare stopped and I took breath and turned around just in time to see a streak of rainbow coming right at me 'absolutely fucking amazing' I tried jumping over her but she was too fast and ended up colliding straight into me 'well this is gonna hurt'.
Author's Note
Got bored and I was thinking of ideas for Lesche Syndrome.