Eric and Bon-Bon stared at Lyra's prone form, The young man blinked at the sudden and strange sequence of events, briefly taking stock of his surroundings as he sat there in the remains of a table. He understood the fact that he fell out of the sky, he understood that he fell through a roof, but overall? He was completely stumped as to exactly where the hell he was, why he was there, or why there were horse people.

"Why exactly is there a need for horse people?" his thoughts seemed to say; "hasn't enough weird crap happened to me today? " The thought, however, was drowned out by the sheer amount of bluescreen the young man's mind was experiencing at that point in time.

Bon-Bon was having a similar moment, seemingly unable to comprehend the events of the last thirty seconds. She looked from the creature that sat in the broken remains of her favorite coffee table back to her best friend, a stupified expression on her face. The two remained there in silence for the entirety of forty seconds before a voice came through the hole the human had made. Eric recognized it as the same one that had talked to him on the roof, high-pitched, female, kind of had a New-york style of accent to it.

"Lyra? Sweetie Drops? Is everything ok? You're being kinda quiet and it's kinda hard to see in there... is that stallion ok?"

The voice served to snap the two of them out of their stupor, with Bon-Bon giving a short shriek as Eric scrambled to his feet.

The human quickly felt his back where he had smashed into the table and was relieved to find that he wasn't wounded in any way. He gave a relieved sigh, laughing slightly at the fact he was somehow unharmed and looked up just in time to see a beige-colored fist coming straight for his face.

Eric gave a pained shout as tears came to his eyes, his nose feeling as if someone had taken a hammer to it. Before suddenly he was grabbed by the arm and shoulder-thrown back onto the ground, his face smashing into the ground

"Hey! What's going on in there?!" The voice quickly gained an owner as a blond-maned, grey pegasus with what appeared to be an eye-problem appeared over the hole, concerned by the ruckus coming from inside the house. She squinted and saw Bon-Bon standing on top of some sort of... Hairless earth-pony?

"What the hay is that thing?!" She gasped, her eyes suddenly fixing themselves as she looked in on the two.

Eric yelped as he felt the hoof dig into his back, then shouted in pain as his arm was wrenched up and behind his back, the pain lancing all the way up to his arm and into his shoulder.

"Derpy! Get help!" Commanded Bon-Bon, her voice carrying an authority uncharacteristic of the town candymare.

Derpy stared at the two of them with wide eyes, hesitation clear on her face; "I...."

"NOW!" Snarled the Earth pony, and the pegasus disappeared, off to find help.

Eric struggled on the floor, the pain growing worse with every passing second.

"Get off me!" he yelled, flopping around rather ungracefully.

"Shut up!" His attacker snarled, placing her hoof on his face, "Now, I'm going to ask you three questions, creature and you are going to answer them! And if I don't like what I hear..."

Eric's arm was twisted further, causing him to groan in agony as the horse-woman applied pressure, nearly breaking his arm before relenting.

"What are you doing here, why did you attack our home, and what did you do to her!" She gestured to the prone form of her friend, who was snoring slightly on the floor.

"Oi dof new!" Was the muffled reply, Eric's face being too squished to allow him to say anything comprehensible.

"What?" The mare lightened the weight on the human's face.

"I don't know!" Gasped Eric, his eyes screwed shut in pain,

"Horseapples!" Snarled the mare, pressing down even harder, if this kept up he wouldn't have an arm for much longer. Getting desperate for a way to stop the pain, he felt around in front of him until he felt his fingers close around something.

"What the hell does that even mean?!" Roared Eric, grabbing the broken table-leg with his free hand and slinging it blindly behind him, hitting his attacker in the shoulder, she gave a pained yelp and stumbled off him. Eric got to his feet and tried to put distance between him and his strange adversary by putting his back to the wall. But she had already recovered and threw a punch that human barely got his arms up in time to block.

Whatever this thing was, it knew how to fight, and it didn't seem to have any qualms about beating him within an inch of his life. He himself had been in a few fights, mainly thanks to a few bullies in high school thinking he was an easy target, several self-defense classes may have remedied those problems then, but this was something else entirely. This... horse-person, seemed intelligent and spoke English, and also had a concept of friends and camaraderie, which meant there was definitely a way to reason with them. But right now one of these creatures was attacking him, his survival came before trying to establish any form of peaceful first contact.

He brought his foot up and leaned against the wall to brace himself before kicking out at her, his foot catching her square in the chest and sending her reeling back. He followed up his attack with a punch of his own, following the same method as the self-defense classes he had taken years ago had taught him, he twisted his hips and shot his fist forward at the same time, catching the mare in the face and sending her back even further. She stumbled back into the side of the staircase and used it to steady herself, she looked up at Eric and growled angrily, fire burning behind her eyes.

The young gulped nervously, gritting his teeth and steeling himself as the mare pushed off the wall and charged him.

Bon-Bon was an agent of an organization dedicated to the protection of the nation from dangerous creatures, this organization was known as S.M.I.L.E. They had trained her to track and subdue 'monsters' of every kind when they wandered near or, Celestia forbid, into, populated areas.

However, due to a large-scale monster's escape from the underground prison known as Tartarus, which had nearly consumed all of the magic within Equestria, the entire agency was supposedly dissolved for its incompetence. At least, that was what the public was told. Before their dissolution, the public had eventually caught wind of S.M.I.L.E's existence thanks to a particularly nosey pegasus and her journalist friend. So the agency made do with what it could, and told a partial truth to the public. Usually, ponies thought the term 'monster' only applied to the occasional denizen of the Everfree forest or a fugitive from Tartarus. Creatures that were commonly thought by the ponies of Equestria to be little more than animals or beings of pure malice.

That belief was what the agency preyed on, using it to make those that didn't know the true nature of the agency assume that they were nothing more than a glorified pest control company in fancy suits and sunglasses. That was only partially true, while they did handle particularly dangerous monsters, the true purpose of the agency was much more clandestine, they allowed the illusion to continue on in order to mask the more 'controversial' part of their responsibilities.

The term 'Monsters' applies to more than a bunch of killer animals, at least, to the agency it did.

To S.M.I.L.E, a monster was any creature dedicated to the pursuit of evil or subjugation of Equestria and her people. That meant the bands of diamond-dog slavers that roamed the badlands and Everfree, the stubborn griffon ultra-nationalists who refused to see the Equestrian people as anything more than prey, and even some of Equestria's own ponies. The agency had handled many matters in secret, through espionage, sabotage, and sometimes outright assassination.

Bon-Bon had usually handled monster cases as part of the undercover branch of the agency, investigating, observing and reporting events in Ponyville, as the normally sleepy town had become a hot-zone for trouble ever since a certain lavender-colored unicorn moved in. Thanks to the elements of harmony's intervention she rarely ever had to fight monsters, let alone sapient creatures, but she had gone through the combat courses just like everyone else in S.M.I.L.E.

This creature, human or no human, was an unknown being that had broken into her home and disabled her best friend. Maybe it hadn't done that to Lyra, maybe it had, all the mare could see at this point was a sapient entity that posed a possible threat to her and Lyra, and so, it had to be taken down.

She charged the thing as it leaned forward, squared its feet, and braced itself, preparing to take her head-on. In terms of strength, she assumed that she and the 'human' were about even, normally that wouldn't be a problem, but it had shown skill in hand-to-hand combat, and she hadn't trained in combat for months. While she was certain she would eventually overpower the creature, she couldn't risk drawing out the fight and giving the thing a chance to escape, so she opted for something more... creative.

She dropped to the floor just before reaching the creature, praying to Faust the thing was male as her momentum carried her forward and directly between 'his' legs. She kicked up and hit directly between the legs, the hardened cartilage of her hoof meeting a particularly soft point of his body.

Eric's voice raised an octave as he lurched forward, groaning and holding his manhood. He struggled to remain standing, he was going to have a hard time walking after that, any guy would after getting hit there that hard. Astonishingly, he remained both conscious and on his feet, though he felt like his stomach was crawling into his throat.

Bon-Bon smirked victoriously at the expression on the creature's face contorted into pure agony, that had worked like a charm when a complete idiot of a stallion decided to get 'handsy' a few weeks back. She was glad to see that some things never changed, even across species. She attempted to kick out at the human again, but it was too fast, stumbling away from her and causing her hoof to hit nothing but air.

The human had pressed his back against the far wall once again and sucked in a sharp breath, briefly occupied with nursing its wounded stallionhood. She took this opportunity to get to her hooves once more and advance on the human when all of a sudden he shot forward, throwing another wild punch. She parried it with her forearm and responded with a strike to the face with the palm of her hand, his head snapped back, but he somehow remained standing as he reached out and grabbed her by the arm, yanking her forward before driving his knee into her stomach.

Bon gasped, all of the air leaving her lungs at once, as she tried and failed to take in oxygen once again. She hadn't expected such an immediate response from him, she had underestimated the human, and now she was paying the price.

Bon grit her teeth and grabbed onto the human's shoulders, ramming another fist into his face, and with a short, breathless yell, she swung him around and into the sofa, which he crashed into, tipping the piece of furniture over and sending several decorative throw pillows flying. The human disappeared behind the tipped sofa, with a startled shout,

Silence reigned in the room, with the human remaining unmoving behind the piece of furniture.

"Maybe I knocked it out?" The Mare thought, she had hit him pretty hard before she had thrown him, maybe it had been enough to end it. Her eyes wandered over to the prone form of Lyra, who was snoring loudly from her place on the ground, slowly, she began to stir, and it looked like her eyes were slowly beginning to open. Bon allowed herself a sigh of relief, at least she wasn't hurt. The mare slowly approached the couch, cautious of any sign of movement on the part of the human, she slowly peered over the edge of it, only to receive a throw pillow to the face.

Whumph!

The Earth pony gave a rather embarrassing squawk of surprise as the pillow briefly obscured the entirety of her vision, causing her to stumble back and fall on her back, immediately the human scrambled to his feet from behind the couch and charged up the staircase in a blind panic.

The enraged mare recovered and caught sight of the fleeing human, a malignant growl rose out of the mare as she rounded the handrail and stormed up after him, hot on his heels.

"Oh no you don't!"

She lunged forward, grabbing the human by the ankle and causing him to trip, catching a face-full of stairs in the process. Bon-Bon took advantage of the situation and yanked down on his leg, pulling him down the stairs and hitting his head on every single step. Once he was on the floor the Mare mounted him and began raining punches down on his head.

Eric raised his arms, doing his best to defend himself on the floor as blow after blow hammered his arms, leaving them feeling like lead weights as he looked for an opening, desperately rifling through his memories for what to do when he was pinned.

One of the pony's punches broke through his defense, catching him in the eye and causing stars to explode in his vision, he couldn't take very many more of those.

Somehow his mind finally decided to work and an idea clawed its way into his mind. He pivoted, twisting his hips before bringing one leg up and pushing one of hers down, he looped his right leg around the outside of her left leg, then scissored his legs, kicking them in opposite directions, the mare fell off of him, landing on her back with an "oof!"

He took the opportunity to turn the tables on her, mounting her and beginning his own assault on her face, throwing punches that would have made a professional fighter proud. The Mare held her guard with the skill of an experienced fighter, it was only seconds before she had swept him off of her and left him back on the ground, but before she could get on top of him once again, he kicked out at her legs, causing her to collapse on top of him.

The two struggled on the floor, wrestling for the advantage over each other, punching and kicking in a frenzy.

Eric fought desperately, trying to find an escape more than he was trying to disable the horse-person.

Bon-Bon gave it her all, seven months' worth of training coming back to her, she didn't need to kill the human, just disable it.

The mare pulled Eric into a headbutt, slamming her forehead into his nose and causing him to recoil, blood spurting from his nose and splattering her. Eric landed with his back to the floor, and once again the mare pinned him and began pounding away at him.

"Sweetie Drops? Lyra? Can you hear me?" A voice from outside called, followed shortly by a knocking on the door.

"Help!" Bon-Bon called, holding Eric down with all of her strength.

"Looks like Derpy came through," she thought, relieved.

Eric, on the other hand, heard the voices like someone might hear church bells at a funeral, and began to panic, he thrashed against the mare on top of him with all the strength he had left as the door flew open.

"Bon-Bon! What are you-"

Eric grabbed the mare's wrists, placed both of his feet in her hips, and lifted her up and off of him.

"Wha-!" she flailed slightly as the human lifted her up, and rolled backward, sending the earth-pony flying in the direction of the newcomers, who received her with shouts of surprise.

Rolling to his stomach, Eric paid no mind to the new arrivals. Instead, he spent a frantic three seconds looking for something to use as a weapon, his hand closed around the smooth wooden surface of a table leg, he snatched it up holding it like a baseball bat as he stood and got a good look at the other two horse-people.

One was male, with light brown fur and a dark brown mane that was messily styled into a fauxhawk, it wore a long trenchcoat with what seemed to be a vest underneath, complete with a bright green bowtie.

The other one seemed to be a pegasus, female, with light grey fur and a blonde mane, most notably, her yellow eyes seemed to point different directions.

The two were helping the one that had attacked him to her feet, or... hooves. The brown one looked at him with a mixture of shock, curiosity, and recognition? The grey one looked between the three of them with concern, seeming somewhat unsure of what came next.

"Back off!" Eric gave the table leg a good swing before holding it behind his head like a baseball bat, ready to knock some heads if any of them came too close.

" Give it up freak!" Bon-Bon glared at him, "even if you manage to escape, there's nowhere to run, we've called the guards, and they're on their way now!"

"Uhhh, Bon-Bon?" Said Derpy, "I didn't call the guards."

Bon-Bon sighed, glancing over to the pegasus with frustration.

"That was supposed to be a bluff, thank you for ruining it."

She looked back to Eric, narrowing her eyes and scowling.

"Regardless of that, if you run, you'll be hunted down."

"Better than getting strapped to a dissection table!" Eric retorted. "If I go down, I go down fighting!"

The one in the trench coat stepped between the two of them, holding his hands up in a placating gesture.

"Now, now, this doesn't need to get any more violent than it already has, no one is getting dissected."

Eric raised an eyebrow, but held his stance, distrustful of anything with a muzzle at this point. "Tell that to that one." He pointed at Bon-Bon with the table leg, "She's the one who jumped me!"

The stallion looked to Bon-Bon, who looked back at him indignantly, "He crashed through the roof and knocked Lyra out!" She gestured to the prone form of the unicorn. "What was I supposed to do?!"

"Perhaps, negotiate with the human before trying to beat him to a pulp? Practice that whole 'love and tolerance thing the princess is always promoting?" Replied the stallion, giving the mare a moderately annoyed look before looking back to Eric.

Bon-Bon looked at the stallion with surprise, "How do you know what a human is?"

"It's a rather long story, miss Drops, I'd be happy to tell you after we solve our current conundrum." The stallion nodded to Eric, his voice softening.
"That is what you are, correct? A human?"

His voice was calm, his hands held up as he gingerly took a step forward, Eric, in return, took a step back, wary of almost everything at this point. Hesitantly, he gave a slow nod, hoping that humans weren't considered a delicacy or monsters or something worse wherever he was.

The stallion nodded in return and reached into his coat, producing a small, tube-like object, which he aimed at the human. The young man tensed, muscles tightening as he retreated even further back, his heel brushing the hand of the mint-colored one.

"Hey!" Eric raised the table leg in a threatening gesture, thinking he'd been lied to.

"Easy now, it's just scanning you." Time Turner reassured him.

The device extended, emitting a small light at its tip and making a small, buzzing, very familiar noise. If Eric wasn't in as much pain as he was, that noise alone would have convinced him that he was dreaming.

"Wait," Eric lowered the table leg, "Is that a sonic screwdriver?"

Both Time Turner's and Derpy's eyes flew wide open, clearly, they weren't expecting him to know what that was, but he had watched enough Doctor Who to know that sound anywhere.

"How..." Time Turner looked at a small screen on the side of the screwdriver, then back to Eric with an even more confused expression. "How do you know what this is?"

If this horse-person was carrying a sonic screwdriver, then...

The bowtie, the trenchcoat, the aversion to violence?

Dear God, where was he?!

"Doctor?" Eric said hesitantly.

The Stallion looked like he had been slapped, he turned back to look at his pegasus companion, who now looked at Eric with no small amount of concern in her crossed- eyes.

"W-well," the stallion stammered, looking between the human and the two mares.

"It appears we have a great deal to talk about."

Eric took a deep breath and lowered the table leg once again, "I-I guess we do."

He dropped the wooden weapon and put his hands behind his head, exhaling loudly, before raising his hands, if this was the very the same doctor he knew from the series, then he could be trusted. Of course, this could all be some sort of elaborate trick to get him to lower his guard, but something about the Stallion almost radiated a feeling of authenticity.

"All right, I surrender."

The doctor gave a sigh of relief as the table leg clattered to the ground.

"Alright then, Miss Doo, if you would please contact our resident Princess..." The Stallion suddenly grew wide-eyed once again, reaching his hand out and lunging at Eric.

"Lyra, wait! Do-"

Something cracked against Eric's skull from behind, and instantly he faceplanted, falling into unconsciousness as a mess of obscure voices exploded around him.

Author's Note

Well, that was an experience that presented various problems I do not feel like disclosing.

You mean when you accidentally deleted half the chapter and had to write the whole thing over again by memory after 3 months?

You really do pay attention, don't you?

I AM you Angsty! I know what you think before you think about it!

Right... and on that note, I wish whoever had stumbled upon this story a good day, and as always, criticism is accepted vehemently.

And then you started an entirely different story that made us villains...

Ok, I get it.
Then you got super lazy and stopped writing anything,
Stop-
Now you're abandoning the other story and coming back to this one! We've come full circle Angsty!"

Yes! Alright! I'm working on Worlds away for a while, I wanted to give my first story some love while I think up some ideas for Inhuman Nature, I refuse to abandon either story and it will probably be years before either story is even halfway done...

BUT. I. WILL. KEEP. WRITING!!!

*Whispers* He always like this Pinkie?

Just smile and nod A.J., don't provoke him.