Chivalry Reborn

Author’s note: From a suggest I’ve read, I’ll be making my chapters longer than before. So be wary of the in-depth descriptions.

Chapter 5:

Man About Ponytown

Why was this happening? Seriously, there has to be some sort of gig I’m missing out on here.

These are the thoughts that bounce in my mind, as I watch my house, my place of residence in life, fell from the bright, cartoony sky, and quickly descended into the ground, crushing anything under it, and destroying my things in the process. That’s the part that bugged me: My stuff. I have all of my work and school supplies in that damned place. My school ID, my books, my laptop, and my DAMNED glasses cleaner. I NEED my glasses cleaner. I HATE being out and about with a bunch of dirty grime and dust in my sight. It pisses me off to hell and back.

“Oh no. No, no, no, no, no!” I shout loudly, looking down at the town it was probably landing somewhere in. Needless to say, it looked like a town right out of a little girls storybook. A lot of the buildings from here look very old fashioned, and had simple, yet sturdy structure. What bugged me really is that the houses looked like they were made out of candy of all things. The only part that didn’t seem like it was made of peppermint or something similar were the roofs, which were instead made of hay. For the most part, it seemed like that retarded candy hut from Hansel and Gretel. It looked so abstract. Who the hell built this place like this, and why!?

Forget it, for now. It’s not really important. What’s important is that I got down to where my house was gonna crash before someone, or thing, gets hurt.

I hastily swing the backpack I was just examining onto my back, then doing the same with my jacket. I didn’t put it on really, or even put my arms in the sleeves.  I simply slung it on, and then fastened the button at the top of the collar across my neck. It flowed in the wind against my back, like a cape.

When I would normally be calling myself silly for putting on in such a fashion, I pressed my body weight against my feet. “I hope I still remember how to parkour well,” I murmured to myself. I pushed all of my weight forward, letting my legs propel my body forward, towards the ridiculous-looking, candy resembling town.

“Oh my goodness!”

“What in Equestria is that thing!?”

“By Celestia! “

“Eeeeek!”

These were the initial reactions that reached my ears, as I sprinted past the entrance of the town, the residence (more god-forsaken ponies, what the hell!?) took my dynamic entrance as an act of attack, apparently.  They all reared back when I burst past a merchant selling fruit, making my way past the gingerbread-looking houses and the technicolored mares, colts, and fillies.

Some stood mouth agape at my figure. Guess they've never seen a human before.  Some cried for help, or just screamed in surprise. Others ran inside the nearest house, slamming the door shut. I wasn’t really paying attention what exactly was being said, or what exactly each one was doing. I was just focused on getting to where my house was falling.

That didn’t excuse being completely rude, of course.

“Excuse me, coming through! One side! Pardon me! Gangway!”  I kept excusing my behavior as I vaulted over now empty merchant carts, leapt over benches and weaved passed tables and civilians.

Its right about this time that I started to remember the time I spent with my friends. My good pal Myers taught me about parkouring when we were in high school together, showing me the ropes to get around in the most efficient, and fastest way possible. I mentally noted that I put this knowledge, and to thank him if I ever got out of this place.

I turn my eyes back up to the sky, still running to keep track of my home. It was starting to get close to the ground now. I could see the pipes and dirt on the underside of the structure.  Man, I really need to clean my pipes when I get the chance. My front doorstep and doormat shimmied back and forth, to simply stay with the rest of the establishment. The doormat, hanging dangerously loosely, had a dog hanging onto a floating bone, the caption saying “Hang in there, baby!” Oh the irony of it all….

I snap my eyes back ahead of me just in time to see another cart in the distance. This cart had all sorts of apple related products; I could see apple pies, caramel apples, apple fritters, apple slices, and many other thing I would have loved to snack on. It was being pushed by a orange mare with a blonde mane fashioned into an old-fashioned ponytail. She had freckles on face, and had emerald green eyes, which were partially covered by her light brown cowboy hat.

The problem here was that she was kind of in the way, and she didn’t seem to notice me. She was too busy humming a tune under her breath, and taking care of her chore, it seemed.

I was on a direct crash course with her cart, and she would be included, if she didn’t move soon.

I quickly put my hands around my mouth to project my voice far enough for her to hear me. “HEEEEEY!”

She snapped out of her carefree working trance and looked my way, smiling still. That is, until she realized I was running straight towards her with enough force to knock both her, and her booth across the opening. Her eyes bulged almost instantly, confused as all the other mares at the entrance did. She looked like she was about to ask what the heck was going on, when I cut her off.

“Don’t ask! Just MOVE!” I shout the order at her, which she complied to, after a moment’s pause. Okay, now that the pony’s out of the way, I can- Oh, wait, CART!

I lean forward, aiming my weight at the narrow opening of the booth. I don’t have a choice; I need to dive through to keep my speed if I wanna get to that house before it fell. There were small apple snacks all around the passage as well, making the already difficult task even more ludicrous to do. I don’t really think twice about it, leaning forward and then leaping. I keep all my appendages at full length, both my foot clicked together in a small arrow, with my hands doing the same.  My coat seemed to understand my intentions, and stopped flapping n the wind, snapping itself around my body.

Time seemed to slow down, as I watch the shocked orange mare watch me in shock and awe, as I dived through her precious applecart, slowly dodging all of her goodies, and pastries, going through the small path I chose to hop through, and then land on the back of my head.

I aimed it there on purpose. With my position like this, I rolled forward, clambering onto my feet as quickly as I could, pushing my feet forward once more, once again dashing down the street.  Holy crap, did I just do that!? Where’s all this energy COMING from!?  My brain is astounded by my body’s skill, but otherwise stays on task, and keeps track of my home.

“Wait, what in tarnation are y’all doin’!?” I could hear a southern voice call out from behind me. No time to respond, the house about the land and I need to get there before it does. There has to be some way I can stop all my stuff from being destroyed. My mind raced for a possible solution, as I began to reach to reach the edge of town, speeding past a sign that read “Ponyville Public Park”

As I sped into the area that seemed like the site for my house’s crash, I noticed that a lot of the folk were running the other way. They must have noticed the house falling from the sky, finally. I slowed my sprint into a jog, panting heavily.

The house seemed to have slowed down somehow. It’s velocity wasn’t nearly as fast as it was a little while ago. How can this be? Don’t any laws go here?  Bah, forget it, I’m thinking too much of it.

Slowing once more to a stop, I looked up at my home calculating where it would impact. I’m so glad I can calculate longitude and latitude without pausing for long. It was going to land at about 23 feet from the fountain that had a Pegasus, taking flight, a smile on her face.

There, under the shadow of my home, I saw what I was afraid to see. There three little fillies staring up at my house with awe-stricken faces. The first one to properly react was a deep orange Pegasus that seemed to have her wings expanded, even though she was running, not flying. She had a paled out pink mane, and her eyes purple eyes were widened to the point I thought they would fall out as she dashed away from the danger.

The second one to move, was another filly, with a pure white coat, and a horn on her head. A unicorn? She had a striped mane, which switched from lightly dulled rose and purple. Her dark green eyes shook as she stared the approaching monster, whimpering silently, before galloping away screaming.

The last one didn’t move, however. She just kept her bright brown eyes on the giant in awe. Her yellow coat, bright red hair and ribbon fluttering back from the blowing wind.  She simply stood there, eyes attached to my home, watching it’s slow but menacing decent.

“Whooaaa~…” She gasped. She was completely entranced by the situation, too surprised to move.

“Apple Bloom, get out of there!” Her orange friend called to her from behind the fountain.

“Apple Bloom!” a second voice chirped out. It must have belonged to the unicorn. Her voice cracked as she continued pleading her friend to flee. “You're got to run away!”

She didn’t move, however. She just watch as the house neared the ground, with her right under it.

If there was ever a time to do something, it’d probably be now. I broke out in yet another sprint, despite my leg’s resistance from fatigue. I had to save her, I couldn’t forgive myself if I just watched her get crushed by my house of all things.

“Come on…”  I whispered , hoping that my body’s could muster up the strength to reach her in time. My legs bent automatically to dodge the house’s structure. It was almost at the ground and the tiny pony was still standing there.

“C’mere, you,” I grunted as I swooped down and grabbed her with my right arm. “We can’t stay here!” The house is about to crush us both at this point. I can barely move crouching, now.

I had to get out of here. So I listened to my instincts, and dove.

Letting my head skid against a pipe for a moment, I flew from the underside of the house, landing on my right elbow, and rolling onto my back, the small horse still in my arm. My entire body aches so badly right now. I put my hand on the top of my head to see if I was bleeding. I glance at the palm. Nope. Good, then I’m peachy.

Sitting up and looking back at the house, I noticed something. There were small specks of violet light, glimmering around the edges of the house. It seemed like the  this light was actually making my house…..hover in midair.

Okay, now I’ve gone completely nuts. I just saved a little pony from being crushed by my house, and now this damned building is here, floating in air, surrounded by pixie dust. This is stupid. I can’t make any sense of it all. I just decided to just stop thinking about it until I could find a proper idea of where I was.

But what about the filly? As the thought popped into my mind, I glance down into my air to see two, big amber eyes looking up at me. They were full of wonder, fear, and gratefulness. I can feel my heart wanting to explode from seeing such a cute little thing.

I set the pony down on the ground, sighing. I close my eyes, shaking my head to get some of the pain out of my head. Considering how big I am, a 6’4 male with big arms, feet and a pretty mean face, I must be scaring this thing to death, now that I think about it. I open eyes again, looking at the creature I just rescued.

“Are you okay?” I ask the little filly in a calm and assuring tone.  Kid doesn’t need any more of a scare anyway.

She jumped slightly from hearing my voice, not expecting any words from me. (Why does every horse here think that?) She slowly nodded her head.

“Y-Yes ’ir” Her voice was small, southern and shaking. She must be really nervous.

I puffed a breath of relief. Good, then I don’t have to worry now. “That’s good to hea- ACK!”

I feel a sharp pain on my side, as I get my body blown over by a hoof to my left rib cage. I land on the ground hard, sliding slightly, before I feel a hoof against my throat. I look up quickly, to see the same horse at the applecart, glaring at me as though I was about to kill someone.

“Ya’ll best be start explainin’ yerself, before I really make you start hurtin’!” She threatened me, pressing her hoof against my Adam’s apple.

Why does every horse around here threaten me first…?