Barren Skies

The oddly exhausted Rainbow Dash lay down on her bed with a fwump, sinking into it and sighing. That infernal ringing noise had finally left her, but once again it left her alone with her thoughts. And this time she didn't even have the benefit of knowing that it would be over soon. But of course it would, she's Rainbow Dash! Nothing can stop her, let alone not being able to do something she didn't really want to do anyway.

Or so she thought, at least. The surface level of her thoughts, as usual, occupied itself with her typical show of bravado and cockiness, even to herself. Somewhere just below that, she was thinking about how she had the whole day off because of this one dumb thing. She had expected it to take longer, like the other tests. One stupid little detail about herself that didn't even matter.

That's it? I can't have foals? Dash thought, I mean, I do hate being told that I can't do something, but that doesn't really matter when I never wanted to do that something anyway. I haven't even thought about settling down to begin with. And with a stallion? Having foals? And what if I went for a mare instead? There's a few of them around I wouldn't say no to a date with... Rainbow Dash quickly caught herself getting off track and sighed again, turning over onto her back.

So what if I can't have foals of my own? I'm sure at least some of my friends will so I can totally be the cool, no, the coolest aunt. She grinned at the thought. Though she didn't know for sure what an aunt did, she bet it involved her being awesome, which she could definitely do. So basically I get to watch foals grow up and don't even have to take care of them myself? That sounds perfect! No responsibility for them...

Her ramblings turned to Scootaloo, wondering if being an aunt was like being a big sister. She focused the times when she'd had a hoof in Scootaloo's life and how the little squirt had done well because of her responsible sisterly influence. She liked helping her "little sister" grow up, felt proud for her. Though obviously most of what Scootaloo did, she did on her own, so Rainbow couldn't claim all the credit. Still, sometimes she'd even wanted to have a bigger hoof in her life, though she knew that wasn't possible.

But if Rainbow had a foal of her own? She could feel proud for everything that foal did, responsible not only for bringing them into the world, but raising them too. Being a big sister had taught her that responsibility led to pride, the good kind, where she felt it for somepony else. Not as loudly as mom and dad though. She rolled her eyes with a smirk at that. Still, she would love that feeling of pride, watching her very own foal grow up big and strong just like her.

Dash's thoughts turned to her plan for the future, or rather the lack of one. What about when she grew older? She could certainly keep the title of "Fastest Pony in Equestria" for a long time, but she wouldn't be able to hold onto it forever. At some point, whether she got old or just kicked the bucket, that would need to become "Fastest Pony in Equestrian History". Although she did have to admit that sounded even better.

Rainbow's mortality felt... weird to think about, so she quickly changed the topic to her legacy. What would she leave behind? What impact would she have on the world? Inspiring a generation, no, generations of pegasi? Sure, but she already did that anyway. That just came as part of the territory of natural awesomeness. Besides, she had far more dedication to her friends than to any honors that could be bestowed upon her. If it really came down to it, nothing in Equestria, or even the whole entire world, could make her abandon her friends.

But what about a... special somepony? Rainbow Dash had never really considered "settling down" before. Not even close. She barely had any potential time for a stallion- or mare-friend, let alone anything beyond that. With very few exceptions, Rainbow had never really considered herself any closer than friends with anypony. And of course with her fierce loyalty and commitment she could never do the casual stuff. She'd done a couple flings before and they were kinda fun, but she always felt weird doing it so she stopped. She was so dedicated and driven in every other aspect of her personality that it felt very odd to be any less dedicated in her relationships.

Even beyond that, jealousy came naturally to any pony so inclined towards competition, and the fastest pegasus in Equestria was absolutely no exception. She really hated that feeling though, especially when it couldn't easily just be resolved with a physical competition. So despite her overflowing amounts of cockiness, sometimes over-the-top boasting, and near-constant flirting with almost everypony in sight, she'd rarely had any relationships, let alone a serious one. Of course she never told anypony this, so practically all of Ponyville thought the opposite, though most of them would rather assume she had no interest in stallions at all. Which, to be fair, was mostly true.

That's not really a problem though, is it? She folded the blanket over herself. I'm the best at everything I do, so why not that? If I found the right pony I bet I could... be happy with them. She shuddered at the thought of a relationship, her stomach churning with butterflies. So what if there's a part of me that's... broken or whatever... She paused to stare at the ceiling. Forever... She sighed and slapped her hooves against her bed, tossing the blanket down from her face. But I'm still the best flier in all of Equestria, and I'm still plenty awesome. Anypony would be lucky to have me! I could have anypony I wanted, if I really tried!

"Anypony I wanted!" This last thought came out of Rainbow's mouth as she sat up and flapped her wings once. She blushed, clapped her hooves over her mouth, and quickly dove back down into her bed, though she knew nopony else was anywhere close to being able to hear her.

Rainbow Dash, of course, maintained some pretty high standards, she didn't want just anypony, but she had never really come across anypony who really struck her like an action-adventure hero's companion. The hero always fetches the filly or catches the colt at the end, right? Of course she didn't really believe her adventures would ever come to an end completely, it just had to come at the end of one adventure. One stupendously massively unbelievably awesome adventure that'd bring her close to the pony of her dreams...

She sighed again, trying to keep her mind from running wild, but her previous train of thought had reached a dead end. It was awkward enough to even think about... What was her mind going on about, exactly? Not being able to have foals? She grumbled and pulled the blanket back down, reaching over to her bedside table to glance through the papers. They revealed to her some diagnosis she couldn't pronounce and something about her "primary symptom" being "infertility". Her stomach flipped at reading that, so she skipped ahead to the instructions. Even those didn't contain anything useful except urging her to "seek out counseling if necessary", and something about exercising regularly and eating healthily (like it always did). She scoffed at that. She was Rainbow Dash, greatest pony around! If she couldn't make herself feel good, nopony could. Well, except her friends... and her parents.

She would never admit it to anypony, especially her parents, but she really did love her parents. They were always her inspiration, even when nopony else was there for her, they would be. Especially when nopony else was. They could be incredibly overbearing and weren't very cool, but she had to admit, they were still pretty awesome. There was even a time when she wanted to grow up and be just like them.

Of course now she had way more to worry about, like being the fastest and most awesome pony ever. She thought it was one of those silly dreams every filly has, put aside when she realized her true passions of going fast and being awesome. Her parents just started to seem lame and too much for her to handle. And on top of that she'd grown jaded about their overzealous support, particularly after living on her own for so long.

Rainbow Dash's parents were always her biggest inspiration though. She made up with them because of that, and now she admired them again for it, restoring their status as the "best parents ever". They always encouraged her to do more, go further, stretch her limits, always her biggest fans. And really that's what she wanted for everypony else too. She wasn't just in it for her own fame and glory after all. As fun as all the cheering was she liked the idea of inspiring entire generations of ponies even more. Inspiring and leading hundreds or thousands of ponies. Pushing them all to be their best like she always pushed herself. Like she'd pushed Scootaloo. Like her parents had pushed her.

The fierce pegasus thought about all that she had struggled through to get to this point. All those painful first races, her first real competition, her parents always cheering her on despite the losses. Her growing determination and confidence, her ever-increasing speed and agility, all her practice and fighting to get to where she stood today, as the best flier in pegasus history. Her parents inspired and pushed her, sure, but ultimately it was her that did everything, followed through, cashed the checks that her mouth fired off with such ease. Rainbow Dash was the only pegasus in recorded history to perform, let alone master, the Sonic Rainboom, and to do so at such a young age was just unfathomable. She and her friends had even saved the world several times!

And being an awesome mom? Total cakewalk compared to that. She knew she could be the best most awesomest mom ever! Just imagine the lucky foal who got to have her, Rainbow Dash, as their mom. Element of Loyalty, Captain of the Wonderbolts (a mare can dream), savior of the world multiple times over, fastest pony in Equestria ever, one and only master of the Sonic Rainboom, action-adventure heroine extraordinaire, and a whole lot of other awesome junk. She would be the best mom ever! Way better than anypony's parents she ever knew, even better than her own parents.

Rainbow Dash, totally awesome mom and endless source of inspiration to not just her own foal, but foals all over Equestria. Not just responsible for an entire team of world-shatteringly amazing athletes, but for her own foal too. Her parents would be filled with more pride than they'd ever been before at the thought of their daughter, the amazing Rainbow Dash, taking after them and having a foal of her own. Not just a prodigious daughter, but an incredible mother. She could be the best mom ever, fulfilling her long-forgotten fillyhood dream of making her parents prouder than they ever thought possible by raising her own foal like they had done for her.

Or at least, she thought she could. "Maybe some day..."

Rainbow Dash looked up at her high-vaulted ceiling, the cloudy tears in her eyes obscuring her vision.

"Or maybe never."

The small blue mare turned over in her bed, buried her face into her pillow, and cried.