Barren Skies

by New on the Writers Block

Rating: teen
Tags: Rainbow Dash, Sad, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 3943

Rainbow Dash never liked being told she couldn't do anything. Except when it's something she didn't want to do anyway. So why was she crying?

Rainbow Dash is confronted by the cold hard reality of... infertility. The exact cause she doesn't care about, it doesn't matter because nothing can fix it anyway. There's no medicine, no magic from Twilight nor Celestia or even Discord, nor any potion from Zecora, that can fix it. She has to deal with being broken permanently, in the one way she never expected to matter to her.

The news shocks her, of course, since she's virtually unblemished in every other way. But it's not like she was planning on having foals anyway... right?

Sometimes I like to exercise my characterization knowledge and skills by putting characters into random situations and ask myself how they'd react. Usually it doesn't lead anywhere, but occasionally something sparks and boom, story! Partially inspired by my own experiences. Not normally something I'd write about, but I guess RD's confidence is getting to my head :rainbowdetermined2:

Also my first story here, so let me know what you think! If people like it well enough I'll definitely consider writing more on this. I have a few ideas on where to go from here, but I'm unsure if others enjoy the premise. I'd especially appreciate feedback on my characterization of RD, because that was the original point of all this!

Published 2018-09-11 23:10:01 UTC
Last updated 2018-09-11 23:10:01 UTC

Maybe Some Day...

Rainbow Dash never liked going to the doctor.

All the waiting was boring and the doctors were boring and the tests they so loved to run were all so unbearably boring. And she couldn't even manage to do anything else for most of it, the nurses constantly shushed her and told her that other ponies were trying to rest or told her to sit still and wait for what always seemed like forever. The minutes and sometimes even hours always dragged by, not giving her a single chance to do anything but sit around, wait, get pushed to the next room, sit some more, talk, and then finally do more sitting.

Not that she ever really felt any fear, of course. Her fear was limited only to the things actually deserving of it, which were few and far between. Even when one of her tricks went... in an unexpected direction, which happened more often than she wanted to admit, she always quickly recovered, got back on her feet, and readied herself for more. Nothing could break even a single part of Rainbow Dash, the most awesome pony to ever live! Or at least not permanently, never forever.

Yet here she was, sitting in the boring doctor's office, in a boring exam room. Just another boring check-up, but some off-hand remark to the doctor, so seemingly minor that she couldn't even remember what it was, and here she sat after facing down a whole... what was that one phrase Twilight liked to use? Barter? Batter? Batting? She mentally, and physically, shrugged, unsure of what baseball had to do with tests, completely distracted by the vocabulary exercise. She didn't have much of a mind for vocab, for the most part. But, though she hated to admit it, she did like the accuracy of fancier words. Or was that precision? Either way, she liked being right. And being more right was even better, right?

Rainbow lay back and unleashed a mighty "Uuuuuugh". So bored that her mind had wandered to vocabulary of all things. What was next on her slow but surely steady decline on the way down to a full-on egghead? Left alone with nothing but her thoughts, Rainbow Dash would slowly but surely be driven insane by the boredom. The only real threat to her awesomeness was never any crazy world-ending villain or anypony eclipsing her, but instead the simple doctor's office, with nothing to do in sight. She stared at the ceiling wondering when her torture would be over.

Tick. Tock. Rainbow sighed again and looked at the clock. A whole unbearable twenty-three minutes had passed since she'd been sat down in here by the nurse. She grumbled and thought to herself how quickly the tests had gone compared to this. In and out, all they had to do was stick a few swabs in some very uncomfortable places and draw a bit of blood. She even somehow managed to sit through some sort of weird magic machine thing. They always tried explaining it to her, but she never paid any attention. She only concerned herself with getting in and out as quickly as possible.

Really I should be more disappointed in so-called modern medicine, Dash thought, lifting her forelegs into the air to air-quote "modern". Stupid medicine, not being able to tell me anything until I get all these dumb tests done. Of course there's nothing really wrong with me, I'm far too awesome for that. But I've also seen a lot of really weird stuff, so maybe I caught something? Maybe from one of those weirdo changelings? Can you eat too much Crystal Empire stuff? I hope it's not something lame like... the feather flu or whatever. Being stuck in bed is not cool, not radical, and it's definitely not awesome. And everypony gets that lame stuff anyway. If I'm waiting all this time, it better be for something rare, interesting, and dramatic!

The door emitted the sound of a hoof knocking on it, prompting Rainbow Dash to sit up suddenly and try to act cool. "Finally!"

"Miss Dash?" The doctor, a light brown unicorn, walked in with a clipboard, same as he always carried, and quickly closed the door behind him. "Ah, I'm sorry to keep you waiting, the results from a few of the tests came in a lot later than we expected and—"

"Just spit it out, Doc!" she blurted out impatiently. "Please tell me it's something interesting, at least. I'm gonna die of boredom in here! Or worse, become an egghead!"

The doctor cocked an eyebrow at her last exclamation but forged ahead. "I'll cut to the chase then. Miss Dash, the tests that we have run indicate that you have a form of... Well, we don't know exactly since—"

She waved a hoof at him with even more impatience. "Yeah yeah, I'll read the discharge papers later," Dash said, knowing full well that she'd do no such thing. "Just tell me why I've had to do all these stupid tests!"

Doctor Horse sighed and placed his clipboard back into a pocket, looking back up at his patient for a long moment.

Dash bristled. "What? Gonna say it or not?" She hopped down from the bed and stepped into his face. "I've been waiting way too long for this!"

He stepped back and stammered out, "S-sorry, I just thought—" He stopped and gulped while Rainbow climbed back onto the bed, eager to hear what he had to say. "I'm afraid that you're infertile, Miss Dash."

"Huh?" Rainbow Dash's haunches barely clung on the edge of the bed and she almost fell to the floor before quickly scooting back further with a subtle flap of her wings. "That doesn't sound dangerous. Or cool, or radical, or awesome. Is it at least rare?" She was a bit confused, since she'd only ever heard that used to describe soil, never ponies, and she had a feeling it didn't mean she couldn't grow carrots.

He sighed again with exasperation and lifted his right front hoof into the air as if he were moving to facehoof. Rainbow Dash saw this and twisted her head slightly to the side, confused by the motion. He coughed awkwardly and set it back down on the floor. "It means you can't have foals."

"Oh, come on!" Rainbow Dash had no idea of how to react to this news, of course. Nopony does. "That's it?! Does that even matter? Isn't there magic for that kinda thing? Like how it can help fix a broken wing?" Unicorns had cast that particular spell on her more times than she could count.

"Unfortunately not, Miss Dash." The eyes of experience looked at her openly, with a slight frown etched into his features, almost looking like pity. Rainbow Dash didn't like that at all, she didn't want pity from anypony. She frowned and furrowed her eyebrows angrily and he quickly went back to a neutral look on his face. "I won't make the mistake of boring you with the details again, but you're essentially looking at total permanent infertility. And... I'm sorry, but this is unfortunately one area where magic cannot help. There have been many studies on this. Any attempts to do so..."

Rainbow Dash stopped listening before he even got to that point. Why bother? He'd already said everything she needed to know. In reality, her ears had developed a strange ringing in them that she couldn't explain. Her mind was, confusingly, almost completely blank. She stared at the wall behind him as he mouthed off about what exactly it was. It didn't matter, she could get magic to fix it anyway like it always did, right?

"Miss Dash? Miss Dash?" He waved a hoof in front of her face before using his magic to make a loud snapping noise. "Miss Dash!"

"Huh? What? Sorry, didn't catch that. But Twilight could change that with her super alicorn magic, right? Or Zecora, she's got a lot of potions and junk, I bet one of those could do it. Or even Celestia herself." She caught herself rambling a bit, the ringing noise thoroughly disrupting any coherent thoughts she might have.

Once again the doctor sighed at his patient. "As I just finishe—" He stopped himself and took a deep breath before continuing, "No, not in your case. There's nothing that can be done. I'm sorry, Miss Dash."

"Hah, you think I'd want to start a family? As if I could ever..." The ringing noise in Rainbow's head still oddly cleared it of any thoughts, and left her operating completely on autopilot. "So... is that everything? Can I go now?" Her words grew more quiet as she talked, trailing off into silence.

"...If you insist, Miss Dash. I'll let the front desk know, be sure to pick up your papers when you leave. We'll let you know if there's anything else, but your discharge papers will have everything you need to know right now." Doctor Horse took a moment to look over his spectacles at her nearly frozen stiff form seated in front of him. "Do read those papers, Miss Dash, or at least the instructions. For the most part you don't need to make any changes, except for a possible change in plans."

"Plans? Oh I already know that won't be a problem," the now unfrozen Rainbow replied, trying to inject some of her usual cockiness and chutzpah with a smirk. That odd ringing noise in her ears wouldn't stop, but she knew better than to mention that to the doctor. "Besides, I can always adopt, right?"

"Right you are, Miss Dash," he answered, looking her straight in the eyes with a smile. "I'm glad to see you taking this news so well. I've only had to tell a few ponies this before, but none of them were nearly this composed. Mare or stallion, nopony likes to hear their future being dictated for them like that. I wish you the best of luck." He offered a hoof to Rainbow, and she accepted the hoofshake with her usual strong grip, never one to disappoint.

Rainbow Dash stared past the doctor for a moment before her mind clicked, shooting back half-heartedly, "Yeah, well, I was never gonna let a foal weigh me down anyway, right?"

He simply nodded with an "Of course", then smiled at her again and sat up, heading back towards the door. As he left, he made a half-hearted offer of counseling, but Rainbow already knew she'd never accept it. He opened the door and exited, leaving the mare alone with her thoughts, as well as the sound of his hooves clip-clopping down the tiled hallway. She stared at the door for a long moment, unsure if her last question was rhetorical or not.

After a moment she shook herself out of it, stretching her body in the process. She stepped outside the room and took a deep breath before releasing it, heading down the long hall out to the front desk. As she passed by she collected a thick stack of papers, answering the receptionist's questions with the usual "uh huh" and nods. With the necessary papers secured, she walked out the door and started stretching her legs, ready to head home.

Rainbow Dash shook her head again as she lifted off, trying to clear that damn ringing noise. It seemed like it'd dissipate soon enough, but she was already tired of it. Flying usually cleared her head so she was sure a good flight was all she needed. Despite that, however, she was also far from eager to visit the doctor again any time soon, so she flew home rather uncharacteristically slowly and carefully. She also found herself oddly tired, though only a few hours had passed since she'd gotten out of bed that morning.

... Or Maybe Never

The oddly exhausted Rainbow Dash lay down on her bed with a fwump, sinking into it and sighing. That infernal ringing noise had finally left her, but once again it left her alone with her thoughts. And this time she didn't even have the benefit of knowing that it would be over soon. But of course it would, she's Rainbow Dash! Nothing can stop her, let alone not being able to do something she didn't really want to do anyway.

Or so she thought, at least. The surface level of her thoughts, as usual, occupied itself with her typical show of bravado and cockiness, even to herself. Somewhere just below that, she was thinking about how she had the whole day off because of this one dumb thing. She had expected it to take longer, like the other tests. One stupid little detail about herself that didn't even matter.

That's it? I can't have foals? Dash thought, I mean, I do hate being told that I can't do something, but that doesn't really matter when I never wanted to do that something anyway. I haven't even thought about settling down to begin with. And with a stallion? Having foals? And what if I went for a mare instead? There's a few of them around I wouldn't say no to a date with... Rainbow Dash quickly caught herself getting off track and sighed again, turning over onto her back.

So what if I can't have foals of my own? I'm sure at least some of my friends will so I can totally be the cool, no, the coolest aunt. She grinned at the thought. Though she didn't know for sure what an aunt did, she bet it involved her being awesome, which she could definitely do. So basically I get to watch foals grow up and don't even have to take care of them myself? That sounds perfect! No responsibility for them...

Her ramblings turned to Scootaloo, wondering if being an aunt was like being a big sister. She focused the times when she'd had a hoof in Scootaloo's life and how the little squirt had done well because of her responsible sisterly influence. She liked helping her "little sister" grow up, felt proud for her. Though obviously most of what Scootaloo did, she did on her own, so Rainbow couldn't claim all the credit. Still, sometimes she'd even wanted to have a bigger hoof in her life, though she knew that wasn't possible.

But if Rainbow had a foal of her own? She could feel proud for everything that foal did, responsible not only for bringing them into the world, but raising them too. Being a big sister had taught her that responsibility led to pride, the good kind, where she felt it for somepony else. Not as loudly as mom and dad though. She rolled her eyes with a smirk at that. Still, she would love that feeling of pride, watching her very own foal grow up big and strong just like her.

Dash's thoughts turned to her plan for the future, or rather the lack of one. What about when she grew older? She could certainly keep the title of "Fastest Pony in Equestria" for a long time, but she wouldn't be able to hold onto it forever. At some point, whether she got old or just kicked the bucket, that would need to become "Fastest Pony in Equestrian History". Although she did have to admit that sounded even better.

Rainbow's mortality felt... weird to think about, so she quickly changed the topic to her legacy. What would she leave behind? What impact would she have on the world? Inspiring a generation, no, generations of pegasi? Sure, but she already did that anyway. That just came as part of the territory of natural awesomeness. Besides, she had far more dedication to her friends than to any honors that could be bestowed upon her. If it really came down to it, nothing in Equestria, or even the whole entire world, could make her abandon her friends.

But what about a... special somepony? Rainbow Dash had never really considered "settling down" before. Not even close. She barely had any potential time for a stallion- or mare-friend, let alone anything beyond that. With very few exceptions, Rainbow had never really considered herself any closer than friends with anypony. And of course with her fierce loyalty and commitment she could never do the casual stuff. She'd done a couple flings before and they were kinda fun, but she always felt weird doing it so she stopped. She was so dedicated and driven in every other aspect of her personality that it felt very odd to be any less dedicated in her relationships.

Even beyond that, jealousy came naturally to any pony so inclined towards competition, and the fastest pegasus in Equestria was absolutely no exception. She really hated that feeling though, especially when it couldn't easily just be resolved with a physical competition. So despite her overflowing amounts of cockiness, sometimes over-the-top boasting, and near-constant flirting with almost everypony in sight, she'd rarely had any relationships, let alone a serious one. Of course she never told anypony this, so practically all of Ponyville thought the opposite, though most of them would rather assume she had no interest in stallions at all. Which, to be fair, was mostly true.

That's not really a problem though, is it? She folded the blanket over herself. I'm the best at everything I do, so why not that? If I found the right pony I bet I could... be happy with them. She shuddered at the thought of a relationship, her stomach churning with butterflies. So what if there's a part of me that's... broken or whatever... She paused to stare at the ceiling. Forever... She sighed and slapped her hooves against her bed, tossing the blanket down from her face. But I'm still the best flier in all of Equestria, and I'm still plenty awesome. Anypony would be lucky to have me! I could have anypony I wanted, if I really tried!

"Anypony I wanted!" This last thought came out of Rainbow's mouth as she sat up and flapped her wings once. She blushed, clapped her hooves over her mouth, and quickly dove back down into her bed, though she knew nopony else was anywhere close to being able to hear her.

Rainbow Dash, of course, maintained some pretty high standards, she didn't want just anypony, but she had never really come across anypony who really struck her like an action-adventure hero's companion. The hero always fetches the filly or catches the colt at the end, right? Of course she didn't really believe her adventures would ever come to an end completely, it just had to come at the end of one adventure. One stupendously massively unbelievably awesome adventure that'd bring her close to the pony of her dreams...

She sighed again, trying to keep her mind from running wild, but her previous train of thought had reached a dead end. It was awkward enough to even think about... What was her mind going on about, exactly? Not being able to have foals? She grumbled and pulled the blanket back down, reaching over to her bedside table to glance through the papers. They revealed to her some diagnosis she couldn't pronounce and something about her "primary symptom" being "infertility". Her stomach flipped at reading that, so she skipped ahead to the instructions. Even those didn't contain anything useful except urging her to "seek out counseling if necessary", and something about exercising regularly and eating healthily (like it always did). She scoffed at that. She was Rainbow Dash, greatest pony around! If she couldn't make herself feel good, nopony could. Well, except her friends... and her parents.

She would never admit it to anypony, especially her parents, but she really did love her parents. They were always her inspiration, even when nopony else was there for her, they would be. Especially when nopony else was. They could be incredibly overbearing and weren't very cool, but she had to admit, they were still pretty awesome. There was even a time when she wanted to grow up and be just like them.

Of course now she had way more to worry about, like being the fastest and most awesome pony ever. She thought it was one of those silly dreams every filly has, put aside when she realized her true passions of going fast and being awesome. Her parents just started to seem lame and too much for her to handle. And on top of that she'd grown jaded about their overzealous support, particularly after living on her own for so long.

Rainbow Dash's parents were always her biggest inspiration though. She made up with them because of that, and now she admired them again for it, restoring their status as the "best parents ever". They always encouraged her to do more, go further, stretch her limits, always her biggest fans. And really that's what she wanted for everypony else too. She wasn't just in it for her own fame and glory after all. As fun as all the cheering was she liked the idea of inspiring entire generations of ponies even more. Inspiring and leading hundreds or thousands of ponies. Pushing them all to be their best like she always pushed herself. Like she'd pushed Scootaloo. Like her parents had pushed her.

The fierce pegasus thought about all that she had struggled through to get to this point. All those painful first races, her first real competition, her parents always cheering her on despite the losses. Her growing determination and confidence, her ever-increasing speed and agility, all her practice and fighting to get to where she stood today, as the best flier in pegasus history. Her parents inspired and pushed her, sure, but ultimately it was her that did everything, followed through, cashed the checks that her mouth fired off with such ease. Rainbow Dash was the only pegasus in recorded history to perform, let alone master, the Sonic Rainboom, and to do so at such a young age was just unfathomable. She and her friends had even saved the world several times!

And being an awesome mom? Total cakewalk compared to that. She knew she could be the best most awesomest mom ever! Just imagine the lucky foal who got to have her, Rainbow Dash, as their mom. Element of Loyalty, Captain of the Wonderbolts (a mare can dream), savior of the world multiple times over, fastest pony in Equestria ever, one and only master of the Sonic Rainboom, action-adventure heroine extraordinaire, and a whole lot of other awesome junk. She would be the best mom ever! Way better than anypony's parents she ever knew, even better than her own parents.

Rainbow Dash, totally awesome mom and endless source of inspiration to not just her own foal, but foals all over Equestria. Not just responsible for an entire team of world-shatteringly amazing athletes, but for her own foal too. Her parents would be filled with more pride than they'd ever been before at the thought of their daughter, the amazing Rainbow Dash, taking after them and having a foal of her own. Not just a prodigious daughter, but an incredible mother. She could be the best mom ever, fulfilling her long-forgotten fillyhood dream of making her parents prouder than they ever thought possible by raising her own foal like they had done for her.

Or at least, she thought she could. "Maybe some day..."

Rainbow Dash looked up at her high-vaulted ceiling, the cloudy tears in her eyes obscuring her vision.

"Or maybe never."

The small blue mare turned over in her bed, buried her face into her pillow, and cried.