Cozy Glow vs Chrysalis

by Thought Prism

Rating: teen
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Queen Chrysalis, Cozy Glow, Starlight Glimmer, Profanity, Random, Violence, Crossover, Death
Length: 2139

Cozy Glow’s plan was working perfectly. Until Chrysalis showed up to unleash a brutal beatdown on her sorry ass.

With the six cultural artifacts in her possession and her teachers trapped in the single most out of the way location possible, Cozy Glow effortlessly captured the clueless Starlight and begun draining all the magic from Equestria. Soon, she would be able to call all the ponies in the world her friends, ruling with an iron hoof and free concert tickets. Her plan was working perfectly.

That is, until a factor Cozy had never considered reared her extremely peeved head: Chrysalis. And the one-time queen was going to open up the biggest can of whoop-ass anypony had ever seen on Cozy’s poor, soft hide.

The third installment of my ‘vs’ crackfic series. Not a direct sequel to Scootaloo vs Chrysalis, for obvious reasons.

Published 2018-10-13 15:40:01 UTC
Last updated 2018-10-13 15:40:01 UTC

Roadkill

Hovering down from the hatch in the library floor, Cozy Glow hummed a jolly tune to herself as she made her way over to the magic circle in the center of the cave, its blue glow stemming from the collected magic drawn in from all across the world. Landing, she smiled up at Starlight, who was trapped in a solid sphere of said energies. The so called 'guidance councilor' stared back with a pleading expression, mouthing the word 'please'.

Meeting her gaze, Cozy's grin turned malicious. "Nice try, but I'm not here to let you out. I just wanted to check to make sure the ritual is still functioning properly before I curl up in bed for the evening," she stated, tone as cutesy is at ever was.

Starlight banged soundlessly on the curved wall of her prison, brows furrowed.

Cozy just giggled. "Don't bother. Not even Faust herself could break out of that cage. You're going to be stuck in there until you die of thirst, and then your desiccated corpse will be flung into the void with all of Equss' magic! Nopony will even be able to mourn you properly after you've met your demise!"

Starlight flinched away in revulsion.

"Yes, that's what I like to see!" Cozy exclaimed, cackling manically. "You're either friends with me, or you're nothing!"

Suddenly, the cavern wall to Cozy's right exploded, chunks of rock and gravel sailing inward. Gasping in surprise, the filly covered her mouth with a hoof and coughed out inhaled debris. "What the—?"

A tall, black form emerged from the settling cloud of dust. Each step was slow and precise, the click of hollow hooves echoing through the chamber. Cozy Glow's smile vanished as she recognized the approaching figure as Queen Chrysalis, one of her Equestria's most feared adversaries. The changeling stopped a few yards away, glancing briefly at the six gathered artifacts and the sphere of power floating above them before glaring down at Cozy imperiously. Even motionless, she exuded an aura of palpable menace that made Cozy's blood run cold.

"So," Chrysalis began, "you must be the one responsible for the disappearance of all the magic."

Cozy Glow tried and failed to meet her gaze. How did Chrysalis know about this place? She began to sweat. "And what if I am?"

Chrysalis sighed, shaking her head. "You poor little pegasus. I appreciate a good bit of scheming and conquest as much as anyone, but this? You, my dear, have gone too far." Here, she paused, narrowing her slitted eyes. "Take a moment to ponder what exactly would happen if there was no magic at all in the world. Without magic, all flying creatures would plummet to their ends from their homes in the clouds. Without magic, the land would dry out and turn to dust, fields forever fallow. Without magic, the sun and moon cannot be moved!"

Face paling with each successive revelation, Cozy took a step backwards. "I-I didn't realize that!" She didn't even know how to cancel Tirek's ritual!

Chrysalis just shook her head. "Of course you didn't. You are but a naïve child with delusions of grandeur, bound to make mistakes. And if that was all there was, I wouldn't be here to punish you. No, the most important takeaway in regards to your immediate well-being is that if everypony dies, I'll have nothing to eat. Thwarting my plans is one thing, but threats to my life? This I cannot overlook, nor forgive."

Straight up cowering in fear at this point, Cozy Glow hesitantly asked a single question. "W-What are you going to do?"

Here, Chrysalis smirked, a promise of things to come. "Hmm. Well, as I am the ultimate being, I have many options. I could bind you in a cocoon, slowly draining you of all your life force until you die a withered husk. I could inject you with the paralytic venom from my fangs and do unspeakable things to your unsullied body. Or I could assert my will upon your mind, and render you a mindless puppet."

Cozy collapsed to the ground, whimpering. Her ears clamped to the sides of her skull.

"But no," said Chrysalis, her expression returning to one of disdain. "The magnitude of your transgressions demands the most severe of responses. I am going to fucking pulverize you."

Letting out a strangled yelp, Cozy tried to fly away, or just run even, but her limbs refused to move, shivering from the ice in her veins.

The regal changeling had no such issues. Spreading her wings, Chrysalis issued a proclamation. "Now, you shall witness the full, primeval majesty of my true form, lost to the eons!"

Rather than the flowing green flames that usually heralded a changeling transformation, there was a kaleidoscopic flash of searing brightness, as if a multicolored sun had appeared in the cave. Cozy shielded her eyes.

When the light show faded, Cozy hesitantly looked back at Chrysalis. Her jaw dropped. Where a female insectoid equine once stood, there was now a two-legged adonis. Without any fur, his huge, sculpted muscles exuded overwhelming strength and masculinity. So much so that he circled all the way around handsome and back to having an almost feminine grace. This was accentuated by his voluminous, flowing purple hair, which fluttered above Chrysalis' now chiseled face. He wore a small golden tiara and matching earrings, as well as boots, a scarf, and a purple loincloth.

Chrysalis posed, arms crossed over his chest such that his elbows touched, one hand open next to his cheek. He smiled, speaking with a wicked baritone. "Time to get started."

With impossible speed, he lunged, closing to within spitting distance of Cozy in less than a second. Before she could do anything more than widen her eyes in shock, Chrysalis spread his arms wide, bringing them together in a simultaneous duel karate chop that connected against Cozy's sides. There was a resounding crack, and Cozy screamed in pain: both her wings were broken.

Catching Cozy Glow's belly with a foot, Chrysalis knocked the breath from her lungs and kicked her upwards into the air, cackling with sadistic glee. He caught the pony's falling body on his other leg, launching her back into the air. Chrysalis continued this process, bouncing Cozy back and forth between her knees like a soccer ball as she continued to grunt from the impacts.

Soon, he tired of that arrangement, and spun into a roundhouse kick, sending the already battered foal careening into the rocky wall, where she collapsed to a heap in the floor, coughing up blood.

Cozy tried and failed to rise to her hooves. "P-Please s-stop," she managed to croak out.

Chrysalis flexed again, his fists clenched as he barked out a laugh. "Not even the Tree of Harmony will save you, whelp. This is sweet, sweet justice. And I'm not even close to finished with you!"

He punctuated this statement by unleashing his most auspicious technique. With a burst of spasming motions, Chrysalis' right arm suddenly gained a ooze-like consistency before it morphed into a swarm of angry hornets. They buzzed through the air, converging on the helpless body of Cozy Glow. She screamed as the hornets begun to sting her mercilessly, which was a bad idea, since a couple flew down her throat. The insects, with unnatural tactical acumen, viscously aimed their stings at the most vulnerable area they could find: her face.

In an effort to pile on even more painful attacks, Chrysalis regrew his horn, peppering the girl with magic beams as she wailed in agony.

Cozy slowly grew silent from the toxin-induced swelling in her mouth, tears flowing down her cheeks as she mussed up her curly mane trying to shake them off by rolling back and forth in the dirt. Chrysalis watched with a sneer. "Pathetic. Some conqueror you are. In the face of danger, your resolve crumbles."

Calling back the hornets, which rapidly reassembled into his arm, Chrysalis shot out his tongue, which he had shifted into that of a chameleon. The sticky tip latched onto Cozy, yanking her backwards and right into his waiting fist. The blow would have sent her reeling, but Chrysalis' stretchy tongue was like a bungee cord, pulling her back into another jab from his other arm. He only increased his pace from there, his limbs moving rapidly as he struck again and again. Each punch was launched with the force of a jackhammer, his fists a blur as he went to town on the defenseless filly.

Eventually, he stopped, catching Cozy by the neck with an outstretched hand as he shrunk his tongue back to normal. She could only twitch feebly in his grasp, her whole body covered in blue-black bruises as she struggled to draw breath. Chrysalis turned his wrist this way and that, scrutinizing his catch as a vulture might a carcass. "You know, I only feed on love because I've grown to find the alternative somewhat barbaric. For you, though?" Here, he grinned deviously. "I'll make an exception."

As Cozy stared in mortal terror, Chrysalis leaned backwards, holding her aloft. Then, his toned chest ripped itself open, transforming into the stuff of nightmares: a gargling maw lined with rows of razor-sharp teeth and slimy, flailing tentacles.

Chrysalis waved. "Goodbye."

With that, he dropped her in, the eldritch mouth folding in on itself and disappearing as it clenched shut around Cozy Glow. Straightening, Chrysalis licked his lips. "Not bad."

Wholly satisfied having disposed of the little interloper in glorious fashion, he now had the issue of the magic syphoning ring to deal with. Sauntering over to it, he carefully examined the spell's structure, bringing his years of expertise to bear. Finding the weak link that would shatter the arcane construct, he formed a curved, vibrating blade on the outside of a forearm and brought it down, slashing across the appropriate chalk line. The blue glow sputtered out and vanished, along with the spheres around the artifacts. Also Starlight, who fell to the floor.

"Ah, if it isn't Starlight Glimmer. I didn't see you there," Chrysalis said, nonchalantly.

Starlight sat in place, staring blankly at some point off the distance, her pupils shrunk to pinpricks.

Chrysalis blinked, a smile slowly forming on his face. "I could easily take my revenge on you as well. You know, since I'm already here."

Starlight did not react at all, still completely unmoving.

He rubbed his chin, leaning forward. "Hmm. From the looks of things, it seems witnessing my earlier display has left you completely traumatized. I suppose that'll do," he added with a shrug.

His work now finished, Chrysalis returned to her usual, chitinous self with a flash of emerald flames. However, before she left, she turned to one of the other items scattered about. "Oh, hey, it's the enchanted scepter I made for Mirage a while back! I thought it had been destroyed!"

"Don't mind if I do," she added, picking the relic up in her magic. "Might as well pilfer everything else while I'm at it. Yoink!"

Chrysalis quickly donned half of the assorted artifacts and stowed the rest in her mane. The new crown, cloak, and amulet looked spiffy, if she did say so herself. And they would grant her untold power! Sparing one last glance back at Starlight, she trotted away, cackling to herself. "I'm afraid I must be off. All of Princess Twilight Sparkle's closest friends won't eviscerate themselves, after all!"

Starlight remained in place as the most-definitely-not-reformed changeling peaced out.

Author's Note

I know Chrysalis secretly being Kars only sort of works, and the similarities break down if you examine their respective powersets more closely. But this is a crackfic! And as Discord once said, what fun is there in making sense? Still, I couldn't help but come up with a bit of backstory anyway, in case people care:

Before the unification of the three tribes, and many millions of years after Battle Tendency, Kars crash lands in Equestria like a meteor. Soon, he wakes, the heat rousing him from slumber. After all that time dormant in space, Kars has complete amnesia, with only his villainous personality remaining intact. Brushing the fragments of stony shell from his body and examining them, he logically names himself Chrysalis and sets off to explore the world, relearning how to use his powers as he goes. Due to his predatory nature, the ponies and other creatures rightfully treat him like a monster. Eventually, he longs for some measure of companionship, or at least some minions to command and break up the monotony, and takes on a new form, one that is suitably intimidating and can sire endless progeny, but also has traits of the locals so as to better harness magic. He was now she: Queen Chrysalis, first of the Changelings.