The Doctor and Derpy: Episode 1: A Doctor, A Zombie, and a River Part One

by SirRobinProductions

Rating: teen
Tags: Adventure, Derpy Hooves, Crossover, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Alternate Universe, Doctor Whooves, Other, Nightmare Moon, Romance, Original Character, Comedy
Length: 2176

Doctor Who and Ponies. What is bad?

The Doctor, some Ponies, and a MASSIVE amount of Timey Wimey Things going on. Sh*t just got real.

Writen by Me (Sir Robin) and my friend Stormagedden Foal of Doom

Bull crap to the Haters

Published 2012-08-02 00:24:03 UTC
Last updated 2012-08-04 01:29:17 UTC

A Doctor, A Zombie, and a River Intro

“ A timelord,a zombie, and a river”

Inside the TARDIS, the Doctor was fiddling away with random levers and buttons. “Derpy, have you ever heard of a Sonic Boom, er, Sonic Rainboom?” asked The Doctor. “Yes, but I’ve never had the chance to see one!” Said Derpy, as the doctor fiddled away on an assortment of levers and buttons he said “Well, do you want to?” “Do I what?” “Do you want to see a Rainboom” “YESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYES” Buttons were pushed, and levers were flipped that day, and soon, the Doctor and Derpy were transported back in time to the day of the rainboom. the tardis came to a screeching halt in a field near cloudsdale, “Well derpy, how do you feel about watching an old mares tale come true today?” The Doctor said as he opened the TARDIS’s Doors. “Ehm, where are we?” said Derpy. The two have landed in a field of dandelions and grass. “Now, derpy, today is the day single han- er, hoofingly created a Sonic Rainboom. She made the impossible happen, hmm, isnt she your friend to? A miss Rainbow Dash?” “Dash? Oh, yeah. I knew she made a Rainboom, silly! She talks about it ALL the Time! Too bad i was helping my dad deliver letters to everypony in cloudsdale, thats why i never got to see it!” said derpy. “Well, thats too bad.” “Why is that?” “Well, according to the TARDIS, we should have seen it a few seconds ago.” ”Well, we might just not be at a good viewing point, silly!” “No no no, the TARDIS never is wrong, well...except for that time we went to the lava planet of Ragnaros.” said The Doctor. “Oh right” said derpy. “Right well....lets go make sure the timeline is alright.” And with that the doctor and derpy were back into the TARDIS and heading to the present”
(Click here to get the full doctor who experience:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RV6bbP1rZ84&feature=youtu.be )

“Would you like a Jelly Filly” Asked the Doctor as they made their landing.”Um, no thanks, do you have any muffins?” The doctor threw a muffin to derpy as he landed the tardis in ponyville. As he walked out of the TARDIS Doors, he was immediately attacked by some creature.The doctor examined the creature, it looked like a pony, stallion, but decayed...almost familiar. “CARAMEL?!?!?!” Shouted Derpy.”DERPY, INTRODUCTIONS LATER, BUT NOW GET IT OFF ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” And with that derpy grabbed the nearest thing she could find, her muffin, and proceeded to buck off the creature and throw her muffin at it! The doctor hastily got up and pulled his sonic out and soniced the creature.

“DERPY, stay behind me” the doctor shouted as he galloped in front of derpy. Derpy was shocked at what she was seeing, it was caramel, all bloody and fleshy. and he was trying to kill them. “Ok, done, now lets get him the hell out of my TARDIS before he infects us, Derpy, get my pole from under the deck!” “Why do you have a pole under the deck?” Derpy yelled as she dove off the deck of the TARDIS interior. “JUST DO IT!” Shouted the Doctor as he tried to get a better look at the creature. It was a grotesque, mutant of a being, with scars and pale flesh. Dried blood soaked its lips, and it let out a low moan. “Ooooh you’re a beauty aren't you? Pale, covered in blood, decaying to, oh boy a class A zombie, has somebody been peeking at my christmas list!” “Doctor, here is the pole!” said Derpy, as she threw it at the doctor. the doctor caught it with flying began to push the zombie out of the TARDIS. As The Doctor threw the zombie out he whipped out his sonic and and locked the door tightly. The Doctor ran back to the TARDIS console he yelled out to derpy ”i have a pole under the console because.....shut up ok............. It was a long night.But, anyways, let us get a sca-- what was that?”

The Doctor was interrupted because the TARDIS started to shake and rattle. The hordes of zombie bodies slammed into the TARDIS’s outer wall. “HOLY FISH-FINGERS AND CUSTARD” yelled the doctor. “What the heck is a fish-finger?” “Never mind that, we need to get to Celestia’s castle.” And with that the doctor pulled the Wibbly lever and they were off to the castle. “Derpy, rule number one in a zombie apocalypse is cardio, rule two is grabbed to the twinkies you can handle!!!” “I think we should worry about the zombies doctor, besides, i don't even know what a twinkie is” “Your world doesn't have twinkies, oi, ill make sure that gets invented one time or another, but for now we need to make sure the princess is alright, hopefully she isn’t mad at me for my last visit, that was about....1000 years or so, i blamed princess luna for some.....things that got out of hand. That ol’ Judoon Platoon on the Moon incident.”

Derpy tried to get a word in as they soared (like crap) to the castle, but just couldn’t. this guy was worse then pinkie pie. “Have you seen my fez? i hope that blasted creature didn’t touch it, my last one got shot off by my....wife, long story, big universe saving thingy, very timey whimey, she also killed me afterward but that is all water under the bridge, right we stopped...come on derpy, time to visit the princess” “OH FINALLY, you stopped talking, JEEEEZ you're worse then my friend pinkie pie. huh? doctor you forgot a weapon.” “I have a thing against weapons derpy, so please come on before the zombies go running about with a princess meal in their digestive systems alright?” “Ok” said derpy as she followed him out of the tardis. The room those 2 were in looked remarkably like a throne room, probably because it was a throne room. “Ah, this room brings back memories, then again, this all happened 2 weeks ago from your perspective i guess, wibbly wobbly timey whimey stuff, i never keep track of it myself, i leave that to the museums, I use them to keep score.” The two of them looked at the throne room, to derpy it was “awesome”. it would have been something her friend rainbow dash might say.. RADICAL. “Alright derpy, it seems this place is free of zombies” he said as he smelled the air. “No smell of Death and Decay anywhere, smells more of...spring, 2:30 pm actually. “Hello sweety” said a familiar voice coming from behind the doctor and derpy. “No no no” said the doctor as he looked behind him.....

End of part 1

~To be continued~

A Doctor, A Zombie, and a River Part One (Officially(?))

“Guards seize them!” shouted a deep female voice. “Who are you?” asked The Doctor. The guards were rushing around the doctor and derpy leaving no chance for a quick escape. “Well, its not like this hasn't happened before.” The Doctor said with a certain sarcastic tone in his voice.”SILENCE YOU FOOL!!!” shouted the dark blue and alicorn. The alicorn looked familiar to The Doctor. She was dark blue and black, she wore a light blue helmet and a light blue breastplate and a crescent moon cutie mark. “Ok lets see” The Doctor said as he pulled out his sonic screwdriver and pointed it around the room and then back to the alicorn. “Alright lets see Nightmare Moon, your Princess Luna banished to the moon 1000 years ago and came back but you were defeated by the Elements of Harmony and turned back into Princess Luna, so why are you here? and why now? you were defeated, you can’t possibly be here now.” said The Doctor.

“Silence, guards seize them.” commanded Nightmare Moon. The Doctor turned around to face the approaching guards. These guards had guns, alien guns. “Ah ah stay back, i have a dangerous weapon and im not afraid to use it” said the doctor as he twirled around and pointed the sonic screwdriver at the guards. “Now those guns, you're not supposed to have them, so where did you get them? ponies are not supposed to be this technology advanced until the 24th century give or take.” asked The Doctor. “Are they those things that go pew pew like the ones we saw a few days ago?” asked derpy. She had grown accustomed to running for her life is necessary. This had become the norm for her. The guns looked fairly normal, except it looked like someone had place an eggbeater on the barrel. “Now drop your weapons or else!” The Doctor yelled at the guards. “Or else what? you have a flimsy toy with you.” said a guard. “may we kill these annoying twats your highness?” asked another guard. “You may use these two as target practice, set your weapons to stun only and fire at will. The guards aimed their weapons and attempted to fire. And not a single pew was pewed that day, instead the guns backfired and let out a bellow of smoke from their egg beater barrels. “Sonic pulse, stunned their weapons but it won't last long. Derpy stay back” yelled the doctor as he soniced the light orange mares chains freeing her.

The light orange mare was wearing a skin tight black spy suit and a holster where her waist was, except no gun. “River come on we need to get to the TARDIS!” yelled the doctor as he ran for the TARDIS with derpy right besides him. “GET THEM!” shouted Nightmare Moon “Oh shut up you old bat” Yelled river as she delivered a swift buck with her hind legs to Nightmare Moon's front legs. River ran to the TARDIS and hoped in. “Alright Doctor, lets get our plots out of here” said river flipping switches and pushing buttons. “Uh Doctor who is she?” said derpy with a degree of curiosity. Vwooooorp ,Vwooooorp and they were away from that place and in space. “Phew, now that's all said and done with.” The Doctor turned to River “HOW ARE YOU HERE?” he yelled. River gave out a chuckle and simply said “You didn't think you’d get rid of me so easily did you now? I simply sneaked into your TARDIS while you weren't looking.” “Again?” asked The Doctor “Yup, and i got off after you landed into that town, oh bugger what was it called?” asked river. “Its ponyville miss.” Derpy chimed in”Doctor, Who is she?” said River as she flew the TARDIS. “She is Derpy Hooves, my “assistant” and a darn good one at that. she saved my flank more than enough times” Said a grinning Doctor. “Who doesn't save your arse?” chuckled river. “Ha ha ha, now step away from the TARDIS while i figure out what's going on” said The Doctor as he adjusted his bowtie. “Oh ho ho, what's got you all huffed up now?” teased river. “Nothing, i just need a moment to figure out why SHE was there in the castle, and not celestia or the real luna.” said The Doctor. “Fine fine, (THIS IS BURGER MUTHA FUCKING KING) Have it your way.” And with that River glanced over to derpy who was sitting on the TARDIS couch, That is more like a series of chairs in rivers eyes. She seemed to be fiddling with a bag of blueberry muffins. River trotted over to Derpy and sat down next to her. “Hello derpy, i don't think we’ve met properly Im professor River Song. im also The Doctors wife” She said with a wink. The 2 mares giggled “I’ve known The Doctor for some time now. I trust no other man, er you call the men ponies stallions correct? i trust no other stallion as much as i trust The Doctor. “River, what were you doing in there anyway?” asked The Doctor. “I don't know honestly” said river as she turned to the doctor. “I was sneaking around that castle, then poof it changed and there were no 2 princesses, only that she-devil. babbling on and on about her huge conquest and taking over this land. she would NOT shut up for a moment. Doctor? What are you doing?” The Doctor was hunched over a worktable, sonicing a weapon that he managed to steal from one of the guards, somehow, and for the sake of time we won’t get into. “Well, this is strange, terrifying, and somewhat inconvenient!” “What is?” Asked River. “What is so strange about it, other than the fact of it being a gun?” The Doctor looked at her, and said “The Origin of this weapon. THis Weapon is from Skaro!” At this River gasped, and had a look of Horror on her face. “But, thats impossible!” “What is Skaro Doctor? Is that a Planet? Can we go there?!” Derpy asked in rapid succession, a look of curiosity and anticipation on her face. “Derpy, No, we cannot go there. Skaro is the Homeplace of the Daleks!!!!”