The 'Shy' in 'Fluttershy'
Author's Note
Now, before you all go ahead and get confused about this, let me just clarify one thing - The Andy in this story is not the same one from the Andy and Pinkie Pie Series. They are completely different and of no relation, so I don't want to have any confusion over the two characters!
Secondly, I'm afraid that this story may be the last one I write for Fimfiction before I go ahead and pursue my dreams of becoming an officially published author. My two-year project has reached its end and I'm ready to send off the files to publishers in the hopes that I may be noticed. If not, well, I can at least say that I took a shot at it, and I'm certainly not giving up without a fight.
Oh, and FYI, this entire story is something that I'm really proud of yet nervous about, so I'm hoping that it strikes a chord with you somewhere down the line! My suggestion is light some candles, sit on the sofa with a bowl of popcorn, wrap yourself up in a blanket and enjoy the story!
(I didn't even notice that this story was so much longer than my other one-shot stories...
)
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With love, from England,
The 'Shy' in 'Fluttershy'
The ‘Shy’ in ‘Fluttershy’
A story by FireRain (D.J. Ribe)
’‘A story for the heart, a tear for the soul,’’ - D.J. Ribe
‘’Fluttershy, come on, it’ll all be fine,’’ You said as you held onto the shivering mare in front of you, one of your hands lightly rubbing her shoulder in an effort to comfort her.
Fluttershy was cold to the touch as you held her against your side as you were both seated on her sofa inside of her cottage. It was late at night and all of her animal friends had long-since retreated to their respective homes for the night. Well, all apart from Angel Bunny, of whom was sat beside Fluttershy on the opposite end of the couch from yourself, one of his tiny, white-furred paws lightly touching against her leg in his own offer of support.
It was adorable to witness, really. You’ve known both Fluttershy and Angel for a number of years, and it always brought you a heartwarming sensation when you saw how much of a mother figure the butter mare is to the little rabbit. It was plain for all to see that, even though he had a tendency to be a little moody at times, he still loved his mother.
Fluttershy cried as she held onto you, one of her hooves wrapped around the back of your neck and the other around your waist as she was leaned against your body. She had tears running down her face and there was a nasty, black and blue bruise imprinted into her cheek about the size of your fist. You could only imagine how much it hurt the timid mare, how much pain she might have been in at this time.
She gave a sniffle and looked up to you with pained, dull eyes, glistening as they were glazed over with tears. You could feel her give a shiver through her body, transmitting through your own like a winter breeze.
‘’B-B-But...’’ Fluttershy muttered, hardly able to form so much as a sentence in her currently-rocked state. You only pulled her closer and brought her into a full-bodied embrace as you allowed her to bury her head into your chest, your own head coming to a rest on the top of her pink mane. You didn’t notice until now how soft her mane actually was, akin to that of the finest Egyptian silk. You could even detect subtle and gentle hints of what you guessed to be warm magnolia emanating from her hair. Blissful and inviting as it caressed your nostrils.
Looking over to view at the other side of her, you came to meet the face of Angel, his eyes bearing a worried expression as he held out his arms on either side of his body, indicating his own helplessness of the situation. It was understandable that he would feel this way, and given the fact that he was an animal, he was unable to speak to offer his verbal support on the matter at hand.
You mouthed to him, ‘’Don’t worry, Angel. I’ll make sure she’s alright.’’ Upon picking up on your vows, Angel gave you a grateful smile and nodded his head in your direction. Turning your attention towards Fluttershy, you lightly rubbed her back in a soothing motion, and you could feel the fragile but well-toned structure of her frame. She had a smooth and articulate build for a mare, and although she wasn’t an athlete like most pegasi, you could feel that she had at least a little muscle underneath her skin.
She truly was a beautiful mare, and that was only scratching the surface. It begged the question of why she was in a state such as this. She was always so kind and gracious by her nature, and you found her easier to approach than most ponies that you met upon your arrival in Equestria.
She treated you much like you were another one of her animal friends, and despite how strange you might have appeared to her at first glance, she was still determined enough to offer you her assistance to make sure that you were alright. She was the first one to speak to you, to get to know you and to invite you into her home once she realised that you were no ordinary animal. Like then, you were returning the favour for her act of kindness.
You quietly made shushing noises to calm her down, and it seemed to do the trick, as evidenced by her shivering ceasing from its previous magnitude, coming down to only a slight tremble within her core. She sniffled every so often, and you placed a hand underneath her chin as you gently began to raise her head, allowing yourself to stare into her radiant, turquoise eyes.
Within her large, saddened pupils, you could see your own reflection; green eyes in the skull of a pale-skinned young man. Chestnut hair adorned your head and hugging snugly around your body was your faux leather jacket, a little worn here and there, but still in one piece, none the less.
‘’I’m sorry, Fluttershy,’’ You said sympathetically, placing your hand to her shoulder and giving it a calming rub with your thumb as you moved it in a circular motion, caressing her incredibly plush and well-kept butter yellow coat.
‘’I-It’s not your fault,’’ She said quietly, sniffling. ‘’T-Thank you, by the way. You know, for being here for me,’’ She managed a weak smile and you returned it, moving a hand over to lightly wipe away the tears that had formed under her eyes, her fur matted from the moisture.
‘’I’m just returning the favour. I figured I owe you for what you did for me when I first arrived here,’’ You said, fondly remembering when she found you in the middle of the forest, dazed and exhausted, feeling as if you were on your way out, ready to let yourself slip. ‘’How’s that feeling, by the way?’’ You asked, motioning with your eyes towards the bruise on her cheek. Fluttershy winced and her body tensed as she raised her hoof to gently touch it, only to retract it within an instant, gritting her teeth as she sucked in a strained breath.
‘’It still hurts,’’ She said, her voice stained with pain. You looked the injury over for a moment, inspecting the ugly appearance of it, prominent against her light coat. The bruise itself had a clear and visible impact point in the middle of it, an indentation of a hoof, the bruise a very deep shade of blue where the imprint was inflicted, fading into the colour of a damsen berry as it spread to the outer areas.
Thinking quick, you told Fluttershy to wait for a moment as you picked yourself out of your seat and headed towards her kitchen, off to where you found her fridge, opening up the freezer compartment on the inside and pulling out a pack of ice. You took it back with you as you re-entered the living room and sat yourself down beside Fluttershy.
‘’Fluttershy,’’ You said, once again raising her head up with your hand underneath her chin, turning it slightly so that you could better face the bruise. ‘’I know this might sting a bit, but I need you to hold still, okay?’’ Upon noticing the ice pack, Fluttershy remained silent and gave a nod of her head, sealing her lips and preparing herself.
Ever so gently, you brought the ice pack towards her cheek and lightly touched it against her skin, and you could immediately feel her body tense up from the coldness generated by the contact. As she settled into it and allowed herself to adjust to the presence of the ice to reduce the swelling of her injury, she gave a sigh and looked up into your eyes.
‘’T-Thank you, A-Andy,’’ Fluttershy said shakily. ‘’It feels a little b-better already,’’ She said, smiling warmly through the pain. You returned the smile as you looked at her. Seeing her this close up and staring into her eyes, you found yourself becoming lost within those turquoise orbs of heaven, and you could visibly see all of the beauty behind them, a window to her inner soul that shined like the very sun itself, radiant and warm, inviting and...alluring.
‘’Andy?’’ Fluttershy asked softly, breaking you out of your trance within an instant. You faced her with a bashful smile as you felt your cheeks spark with a rosy flame, and you could see it upon her own cheeks, too. ‘’Are you...feeling alright?’’ She asked, and you quickly blinked and tore your head away, averting your gaze.
‘’Oh! Um, sorry, Fluttershy,’’ You said quickly, embarrassed. ‘’I...was just, um,’’ You stammered for a moment, clearing your throat and recomposing yourself as you felt your forehead itch with the start of a nervous sweat. ‘’Nevermind,’’ You said. ‘’So, listen, what happened, exactly?’’ As soon as you asked, her face dropped in an instant, becoming gloomy as her eyes became downcast and dim.
‘’I-It’s nothing...’’ She said, her voice as cold as her body.
‘’Fluttershy,’’ You said, unconvinced by her claim. ‘’Hey,’’ You said, reaching a hand over to her chin and raising her head up to face her eyes. Reluctantly, she made eye contact, and you could see just how pained her dulled eyes appeared. ‘’You know you can talk to me if you want. I’m not going to try and force an answer out of you, but I can’t help you unless you tell me what the problem is,’’ You said as soothingly as you could, not wishing to rack her nerves even more than already.
She never was a good or convincing liar, but then again, she had no reason to lie or be untruthful. From the lengths she was going to so that she could avoid answering your question, you knew straight away that she was far beyond her usual comfort zone, of which was typically thin and easily shaken. Looking towards the indent on her cheek in the shape of a horse shoe, you immediately knew what the issue was, but even still, you wanted to hear the full story from her own mouth, words that you knew you could trust. You at least had that much of a rapport with her.
Her eyes began to shimmer and you saw them sparkle at the bottom, indicating that tears were beginning to well up, building themselves up until they brimmed and eventually became a waterfall. It hurt your heart to witness the sight.
‘’F-Flutter---?’’ You began, only to be stopped in your sentence as the butter mare threw herself around you, clamping herself tight against your body as she buried her head into your chest, and you heard her give a loud, heart-wrenching sob as the waterworks behind her eyes burst and brought on a downpour.
You patted her back, trying desperately to calm her down, and you could feel her body shiver and pulse against your own as her sobs increased in frequency, becoming a fully-fledged wail.
‘’I-I-It w-was...it was h-him!’’ She cried, her silky-smooth voice rendered raspy by her sobbing. ‘’He d-did this t-t-to me!’’ She cried, momentarily pulling away and looking you in the face, the white of her eyes red and puffy, her pupils large and puppy-like as they were glazed over.
Ah, yes, him. You knew exactly who she was talking about. She had only been with this stallion for almost a couple of months, and you knew who he was. Fluttershy met him during a nature trip through a forest outside of town, somewhere on the other side of Equestria. Ice Valley, if you remembered his name correctly.
He was a stallion of average build that had a white coat, true to his name, and a soft blue mane and tail with a matching pair of eyes. From your experiences with him, you didn’t pick him out as bad-natured or mean-spirited, but the evidence in front of you in the form of Fluttershy’s bruises suggested otherwise.
How could somepony so sweet and seemingly innocent assault another pony, of whom was also incredibly sweet and innocent? It just didn’t add up! Most of all, you couldn’t ignore it in the slightest! This was one of your friend’s romantic interests that you were dealing with!
‘’Ice did this to you?’’ You asked in disbelief. Fluttershy only whimpered in response.
‘’Mmm-hmm,’’ She hummed softly. Immediately, you raised a hand up and cupped her cheek, giving it a small rub with your thumb comfortingly.
‘’Oh, Fluttershy,’’ You said. ‘’But why would he do such a thing? You two seemed to be getting on so well in your relationship!’’ You said, and her eyes held a pained expression.
‘’Yes, we were! He was so sweet and honest with me in the entire time we’ve been together, but only recently, he’s been a little...unresponsive to me,’’ Fluttershy said sadly, he mood deflated.
‘’How do you mean?’’ You asked, hoping for a better clarification on her meaning. She seemed to blush.
‘’I mean that he seems to have lost all interest in me. It’s like he’s turned into an entirely different pony!’’ She said, her eyes becoming downcast. ‘’He’s not the same Ice Valley that I know. I don’t know what’s gotten into him.’’
‘’Fluttershy, can I...can I ask you something?’’ You said slowly and cautiously, not wanting to come on too strong. ‘’Friend-to-friend?’’
‘’Um, yes, I suppose so. What?’’ She asked, waiting patiently for you to continue.
‘’I know that you get along well with Ice Valley, but what I’m about to ask you is something that I need you to be honest with me about, okay?’’ You asked, placing your hand down to her smooth shoulder. She stared into your eyes for a moment, curious as to what your inquiry was going to be. Eventually, she nodded. ‘’Fluttershy, do you love Ice Valley?’’
She was still and silent at your inquiry, her expression unreadable and as blank as a slate as she thought on how to answer the question that you had asked her. You knew that it was something that you had no business in asking her about, but seeing what had happened here tonight gave you some serious concern for your friend’s safety and her life. If this was the first time that he had struck her, then who knows what other damage Ice Valley could inflict upon her? He could even kill her one day, and right now, that was what had you scared for her.
‘’Well, I, um,’’ The timid mare stammered, clearly unprepared for the question. ‘’Well, I, yes, I-I mean, no, I,’’ She paused for a moment, clenching her eyes shut as she breathed in slowly, sucking in air between her teeth before she released a sigh and reopened her eyes, staring back at you. ‘’I...don’t k-know,’’ She answered.
‘’You don’t know?’’ You asked, looking down into her glistening eyes.
‘’Mmm-mmm,’’ She hummed negatively, shaking her head as she did so to emphasise her response. ‘’Andy, why are you asking me this?’’ She asked quietly, and this time, you turned your head away, staring momentarily out of one of the windows that peered out into the night’s star-speckled sky.
It was certainly a beautiful night and the moon was at its peak in the sky, like the glowing radiance of a UFO’s lights as it hovered idly in the sky. As you stared into space at the sky, thoughts ran through your head as you pondered on something that’s been brewing for quite a while.
Your mother used to say that the stars represent your thoughts and feelings, almost like a mirror that viewed into a world of desires and wishes, an endless stream of the deepest and most secretive of emotions that makes a person who they are. You weren’t sure if you believed it as she told you, but as you sat and gazed upwards in this moment, you felt a warmth grace your heart.
By all the stars that shined, glorious white specs of silver and white glitter, you didn’t have a doubt in your heart that what you truly wanted was out of reach. You knew it in your heart of hearts as only a mere dream, one that may have been written in the skies, but that’s all it was - a dream. False euphoria and a dead end. A full stop.
It was akin to staring into a parallel universe where the wants and desires in your heart and mind were true and existent, but here, things were not so fine and dandy. They were much more...complicated and frustrating. It caused your heart to ache.
Turning back to face Fluttershy, you forced your nerves to remain steeled and calm, your heart thumping behind your ribcage. You could tell that she could sense your hidden emotions and inner turmoil as you forced them away.
‘’It’s just...’’ You began, unsure how to respond in a way that didn’t make you appear like a fool. ‘’I’ve known you for such a long time, Fluttershy. You found me and took me in, and ever since then, I’ve always felt like I owe you my life. I hate seeing you sad and depressed, and now that something has happened that’s hurt you, I feel helpless,’’ You admitted, your heart beating louder and louder as you poured out your feelings to the mare in front of you, all the while, she sat sat and listened silently. ‘’I wish there was a way for me to set things right, because right now, I feel terrible for not being able to share the kindness you’ve shown me over the years.’’
Fluttershy was speechless as she gave you a silent and unreadable stare, her eyes locked onto your own as she was lost deep in her own thoughts, the cogs turning in her head as she calculated and processed all that she’s been told. You only stared back, hoping that she’d respond with an answer to satisfy and ease your mind a little. Her eyes turned away from you for a moment as you saw a gentle blush caress her cheeks, radiant against her butter-yellow coat.
‘’A-Andy, I,’’ She began slowly, turning her head back to face you fully, staring you in the eyes. ‘’That’s really sweet of you, but I don’t expect you to give me anything in return that would square us. The only thing that matters to me is that I have you as one of my closest friends,’’ Fluttershy said as she offered you a warm smile, sending your innards into a fluttering rage of butterflies that circulated around and tickled the inner lining of your stomach. She had the most gorgeous smile you’ve ever seen.
‘’You’re by far the closest friend that I’ve ever had, Fluttershy, even better than the ones I had back on Earth,’’ You said, returning her smile. ‘’I don’t feel comfortable with myself if I don’t at least do something to repay you,’’ You said, an idea coming to mind. ‘’Listen, about Ice Valley...’’ Fluttershy’s eyes widened as she immediately caught on to the idea unfurling in your mind.
‘’Andy, no!’’ She said, her voice pleading. ‘’No, please don’t!’’ She said, pushing herself against your chest as she placed her hooves on both of your shoulders, her snout only a few centimeters apart from touching your nose.
This close, you took a moment to witness just how close your lips were from each other, the gap almost sealed. You forced away a blush as you could feel the heat of her breath from between her lips touch yours, her warm and sweet ceylon tea-scented breath enticing as it flooded your nostrils.
You really are adorable, Fluttershy, but sometimes, your beauty is simply mesmerising in a torturing type of way, You thought inwardly as you quickly shook off a thought in your mind, bringing yourself back to reality.
‘’Hey, hey,’’ You said soothingly, lightly raising a hand up to gently grasp loosely yet firmly around one of her hooves, lowering it from your shoulder and letting it droop back down to the pegasus girl’s side. ‘’I’m not going to do what you think I’m going to do,’’ I said. ‘’All I want to do is find out why he did this to you,’’ You said, motioning with your hands to the imprint in her cheek, surrounded by an ugly, plum-coloured bruise. ‘’Have you even looked in a mirror, Fluttershy? Do you have any idea how serious this is?’’ At your tone of voice, she shrinked back in her seat, biting her lower lip.
‘’Y-Yeah, but...’’
‘’Please, Fluttershy, you need to listen to me!’’
‘’But...’’
‘’You can’t just let Ice Valley get away with this!’’
‘’I...I know, b-but...’’
‘’Something needs to be done about it, and you know that it’s true!’’
‘’Andy, please...’’
‘’I only want to help you like you did for me all those years ago. I owe you my life after you saved me, and the least I can do is be there for you when you need me.’’
‘’Andy!’’ Fluttershy raised her voice to a shout, stopping you in the middle of your rambling as she gave you a soft glare. Her wings were outstretched as she shouted, and as she realised what she had done, she clasped her hooves over her mouth and gave an apologetic look in your direction, becoming sheepish. ‘’S-Sorry,’’ She said, her voice returning to its normal volume. ‘’Look, you’re sweet enough to care about me, but you don’t owe me your life, Andy,’’ She said, her lips curled into a small smile.
You blinked. ‘’Why not?’’ You asked. ‘’Please, Fluttershy? I can’t let this go like it was nothing!’’ You said, still keen on serving justice. ‘’This is serious! He hit you and he’s getting away with it like it’s no big deal! I can’t let him walk free from all of this!’’ You protested, holding Fluttershy’s shoulders and feeling her shudder in your grasp as she gave a small whimper. ‘’You need to be more assertive about this!’’
‘’A-Andy, pl-please let g-go,’’ She said as you gently shook her shoulders, and realising that you were gripping her tightly, you quickly released her and apologised.
‘’Sorry!’’ You said, giving an embarrassed smile. ‘’I care about you, Fluttershy. I don’t want you to get hurt again, that’s all,’’ You said honestly, fearing for her well-being.
‘’Well, I appreciate the concern, but I can handle myself,’’ She said, although her attempt at sounding confident failed miserably, and you could see straight through it. You gave her a deadpan expression.
‘’No, you can’t!’’ You said, trying to get her to see the wrong in the situation. ‘’Listen to me! I don’t know if I can trust that stallion, Fluttershy. If he hurt you like this, I can’t even imagine how else he might be able to harm you! What if he killed you one night, huh? Did you at least consider the possibility?’’ You said, holding her shoulders again as you pulled her closer to you. ‘’Did you?!’’
‘’I, no, I didn’t, but I...’’ Her own words caught in her throat as a realisation connected in her brain and she paused, becoming silent as her eyes began to shimmer in the light produced from a lantern hanging overhead.
She knew you were right about Ice Valley. She knew that you cared about her enough to worry for her own life. She knew that you were right about it all, that she had been a fool to trust him and give her heart over to the wrong pony. Even the nicest of ponies have hidden colours that expose themselves in time, and Ice Valley was no exception. Nopony else would suspect him of being a mare abuser, and even less would think that he’d harm somepony as sweet and as timid as Fluttershy.
Eventually, Fluttershy began to break down once again, and she collapsed into your arms, holding herself closely and tightly around your waist as she hugged you. She was far too exhausted to cry, and only streams of tears were able to trickle down her soft-furred cheeks.
She sniffled softly as you placed your hands around the back of her neck. As she was resting her head into your chest, you could feel the rhythmic beating of her heart within her chest, pulsing ever so gently as the heat from her body transfered through your clothes and onto your skin, providing a pleasant warmth like the kiss of the sun on a sunny afternoon.
‘’I only want to help you,’’ You said, Fluttershy’s head and body remaining cuddled against your own. ‘’You deserve so much better than Ice,’’ You said, and you felt the pegasus in your embrace shuffle slightly, snuggling deeper into your chest as she let out a soft moan. ‘’Hey, Fluttershy? Do you know where he is at the moment?’’
‘’No,’’ She replied softly, her tone drowsy. ‘’W-Why?’’ She asked, unsure of why you were asking this of her.
‘’I just wanted to talk to him and get his side of the story,’’ You said, only partially telling the truth. In all honesty, you weren’t sure what you were going to do when you confronted him on his actions towards the mare he supposedly loved and cared about.
If anything, you wanted to settle the score by maybe giving him a punch in his cold and unloyal mouth. Even still, you didn’t want to do something that might upset Fluttershy, despite the fact that what was done to her made you angry beyond anything you could imagine.
Then again, who says that Fluttershy has to know if you gave Ice Valley a karmatic beating to even the score? As the seconds ticked by, it sounded more appealing and enticing as an option.
‘’You won’t...hurt him, w-will you?’’ Fluttershy asked, pulling her head up slightly to look you in the eyes. ‘’Promise me that you won’t, Andy. Please?’’ She asked, giving you those puppy dog eyes that ate into your inner being, biting into your heart. How could you lie to her, especially after what she’s been through tonight?
As much as you might have cared for her and how much you would have liked to strike down Ice Valley with a swift, forceful blow to his jaw or maybe towards his eyeball, that pleading, begging expression on the mare’s face in front of you was always going to be the doorstop on any thoughts of further violence. You hated it when she used it against you.
‘’Oh, fine,’’ You said, caving in to those adorable eyes of hers. ‘’I promise that I won’t do anything to hurt Ice,’’ You said, giving a soft sigh before you placed a hand onto Fluttershy’s shoulder, an idea coming to mind. ‘’You know, Fluttershy,’’ You began, hoping that what you were about to propose wasn’t going to come on too strong in the moment. ‘’If you’d like, would you perhaps like to, oh, I don’t know, maybe hang around sometime for a drink?’’ You asked, watching the face of the butter mare in front of you. ‘’As friends!’’ You quickly added, right before she could get another word in.
Fluttershy’s lips moved for a moment as if pondering on what to say next, the words becoming lost to her as her lips closed again for a moment. You couldn’t read her thoughts or recognise that look behind her eyes, and you were sincerely hoping that she couldn’t catch onto your own thoughts. You didn’t want to overwhelm her, after all.
‘’Um,’’ She began slowly, blinking. Something told you that she knew what you were thinking in your mind, and you felt yourself tense up for her answer to your request. This was it, you thought that you’ve just blown it! You prepared mentally for her rejection to the offer, but it never came. Instead, she smiled sweetly and said, ‘’Sure,’’ causing your nerves to loosen up as her response took you by surprise. ‘’I’d love to.’’
‘’You would?’’ You asked in disbelief, unsure if you heard her correctly. Fluttershy only smiled sweetly.
‘’Well, of course I would, Andy! Why wouldn’t I?’’ She said, and you blinked, knowing how stupid your response must have sounded.
Yes, why wouldn’t she like to join you for a friendly cup of tea or coffee in the middle of town? That’s what regular friends do, isn’t it? They hang around, talk about old and good times, they catch up on events in each other’s lives and they reminisce. So, why would it be weird that Fluttershy agreed to go along with you? What was so wrong about that? You know, aside from the fact that you might have an itty-bitty, teeny-tiny crush on her?
‘’I don’t know,’’ You said, giving her a weak smile as she looked at you with confused eyes. ‘’I just don’t know, Fluttershy.’’
‘’Hey, um, would you mind if I ask you something?’’ She asked cutely, and you gave her a nod, allowing her to ask her question. ‘’Are you feeling alright, Andy? I’ve noticed that you’ve been a bit...off recently,’’ She said, concern evident on her face.
You felt your forehead begin to drip with sweat that you failed miserably in holding back as your heart thumped within your chest intensely.
Oh, crap, she can see right through me! You thought. I don’t want to appear like some kind of weirdo towards her, especially not after what she’s been through! I can’t let her know, I just can’t!
‘’Y-Yeah, fine. Never better,’’ You lied. ‘’You needn’t worry about me, Fluttershy,’’ You said, and this time, she gave you a deadpan expression, her eyes half-lidded as she stared at you blankly, knowing that you were being untruthful.
‘’Andy...’’ She said, raising an eyebrow at you, much like the same way that your mother used to do when she knew you were telling porkies while making it plainly obvious that you were being untruthful. ‘’What’s wrong? I can tell something’s bothering you.’’
‘’I...I can’t tell you,’’ You said, feeling uneasy. ‘’Sorry,’’ You said to her.
It wasn’t like you had much of a choice in what you had to say to her. There was no way on this Equestrian soil that you could bring yourself to tell her the truth, especially when it’s so soon after what had happened with her previous romantic interest.
For the moment, you would prefer it if you and Fluttershy remained friends and had no conflicts between you. However, you were at a conflict with yourself, one that was tearing your heart up inside and eating you from the inside out like a flesh-eating pathogen. And it hurt something fierce, like a barrage of lemon juice-laced thorns stabbing and embedding themselves into your internal organs, a bitter sting.
Some part of you admired her concern for you. Man, look at her, bruised and hurt both physically and emotionally, yet she still puts aside her own woes to concentrate on the sadness of others out of pure kindness and her good-natured personality. It was one of the main reasons why you loved her character and admired her so much. It was no wonder she was chosen to resemble one of the Six Elements.
‘’Perhaps I’ll tell you some other time, Fluttershy. Right now, I can’t. Sorry,’’ You said, holding her slightly closer as you rested your chin atop her plushy head of pink mane.
You could smell the magnolia radiating from her hair again as you held her, and there was a hole forming in your heart, a pit of dread, for the day that you eventually came to your senses and mustered up the strength to confess.
However, that wasn’t going to come for a long time. For now, everything was complicated and strained, and you knew that Fluttershy needed you more than ever in her current state. You couldn’t leave her hanging like that, and you promised yourself mentally that you’d watch out for her and keep her safe.
To you, Fluttershy was the mare of your dreams, an angel that you cherished the friendship of, and you owed it to her to pay her back for her unlimited stream of kindness that she’s displayed to you over the years.
She had offered her helping hoof to bring you into her home, she’s offered you a safe and friendly environment, and most of all, she’s offered you an unbreakable rapport that made you both inseparable.
One day, you hoped that you could work up the courage to tell her your inner-most emotions and conflicts so that you can lend your heart to her like she did for you, and you were already feeling worked up for when that day would come.
For now, Fluttershy has to remain in the dark about your feelings in her current state of mind, and you fought back the fears shrouding the very back of your mind over what is and isn’t meant to be.
Besides, there was still the matter of seeking out Ice Valley and getting an answer out of him, and although it wouldn’t be an easy task to accomplish, serving justice towards him for how he treated the mare held in your arms would be reward enough.
Maybe, just maybe, when you go to grab a drink with Fluttershy, you could let her in on your personal thoughts and talk things out. It wasn’t going to be an easy feat, but when it came down to it, you knew Fluttershy well enough to respect her wishes, and even if it ended up in a crushing rejection, there wasn’t any reason that meant you couldn’t remain good friends!
Until that day rolls up and brings about her final answer, all that you could do was wait and worry in silence. Who knows what will happen until it happens? It could very well be the day you first say to her ‘’I love you’’ while the worst case scenario results in the end of your friendship as you know it.
Only time will tell.
*** *** ***
It was a rather calm and smoothly-running morning in the town of Ponyville. Like always, the market was running with ponies coming and going with their wagons and saddlebags full of essentials, general goods that were produced and sourced locally.
You noticed one of the vendors from the seat on which you were sat at a local café as Carrot Top. She was standing behind her carrot stand and currently engaged in a transaction with a customer, a grey-coated mare who you knew as Derpy Hooves, the local mail mare.
Another, Berry Bunch, a mare with a deep purple coat and a wine red pair of eyes with a mane to match, was standing beside her stand, too. She was a pony known for her blackberry cider and ‘classy’ wine, and she was currently dealing with a suave and well-reheared pony with a grey coat and charcoal mane that went by the name of Octavia.
Octavia was a friend of the town’s local DJ and party animal (that you thought was maybe a little crazier than Pinkie Pie), Vinyl Scratch. You’ve talked with her a few times, and through those small interactions and light-hearted conversations, you found a pony that you were proud to call a friend.
She had a smooth and refined voice that was as fine as richest of chocolates, and she had a very strong sense of sophistication behind that English accent of hers. Being a Brit yourself, you were enthralled by being able to share an interest in the finer things in life. She was a cellist, and a very talented one at that.
Octavia was currently looking over an expensive-looking bottle of red wine from Berry Punch’s stand, and you raised a brow as you observed her for a moment, seeing her turn the bottle in her hooves as she pondered upon purchasing the item. You knew that she had made an arrangement with Berry for a special order that she picked up every so often when she had an important event or occasion coming up. The fact that she was buying one of those ‘special orders’ now only gave way to curiosity as to what it might be.
Across near the other end of the market, there was another stand that was nearby to Sugarcube Corner, a small wooden cart with a number of barrels on it filled to the brim with apples, assorted in different types from golden delicious apples, red apples, granny smiths and honeycrisps. Standing beside the cart was the orange-coated farm pony that you recognised as Applejack, working alongside her little sister, Apple Bloom.
They were regulars in the marketplace of Ponyville, and each time that they brought around their produce from their home at Sweet Apple Acres, the home of the most notoriously delicious and famous apples in all of Equestria, the cart would always be empty by the time the day reaches its end.
You’ve tried some of their apples yourself, and when you compared it to apples back from Earth, they were mind-blowingly delicious! Not too sweet nor too sour and not too soft nor too crunchy, but simply divine! They tasted even more delectible inside of one of Applejack’s apple pies, and it still baffled you to this day how her family managed to produce such heavenly apples! Was it something in the soil? Were they secretly witches that enchanted their own orchards? Nopony knows.
Sitting across from you was Fluttershy, resting on a bale of hay that served as her seat, and you yourself were seated on a bale of hay across from her. Surprisingly, it wasn’t too itchy against your hindquarters, and you thought that it was actually quite comfortable and plush, so you had no complaints to raise.
You were both sipping on hot tea that was held inside of a purple ceramic mug on a saucer, and for once, Fluttershy seemed to be holding a warm smile. It was small, but it was still there. However, there was still an air of sadness around the butter pegasus. You couldn’t blame her, of course.
On her cheek, the bruise that was inflicted upon her the other night was still prominent and stood out like a sore thumb, but with thanks to the ice pack that you had pressed against it at her cottage, the swelling had gone down. It was still sore-looking and blue, but it looked to be subsiding, so you were glad for that.
The café that you were seated at was one that Rarity had recommended to you a while back. It was the place where she used to go when she decided to try dating for the first time, hoping to bag herself a stallion to call her own. Sadly, the poor white unicorn was unsuccessful in her attempts at finding true love, which seemed crazy to you. When a mare looks the way that Rarity does, you'd expect every stallion in town to be knocking on her door!
The café was called Haycaccino, and you must admit that it was quite a lovely little place. It was cosy and friendly, like a small thrift shop or a tea room. It wasn’t too fancy nor was it too drag, but it was homely, someplace that was nice for a couple of friends to grab a drink together and have a chat.
Outside, there were a number of seats, and you found it adorable how the tables were not actually tables at all, but rather an overgrown mushroom that was magically grown and enchanted to serve as a table. They were all red-topped mushrooms with white spots, and they were an amusing feature to the café. It was unique and fun to witness them, and it seemed like something that was pulled out of Alice in Wonderland.
Across from you, Fluttershy raised up her cup gently to take a sip of her tea, her favourite type, Ceylon, the same that you were drinking. Like her, you preferred it above all other types, but you didn’t mind the perfume-like taste of Earl Grey. If you had to choose a specific type of tea to drink for the rest of your life, you wouldn’t hesitate to pick Earl Grey.
Red Bush was by far the most disgusting tea that you’ve ever tasted in your entire life, and it reminded you of the smell of tobacco. As you tried it for the first time, the only thing that you could imagine was sliding down your throat was a slick and sloppy mess of tobacco purée that was the result of blending together a pack of cigarettes. It burned and itched your throat and only made you gag uncontrollably. Utterly disgusting.
You both made small-talk as you were both sat together at your ‘table’, Fluttershy telling you about her animal friends and swapping some stories of the adventures she took with her friends when they were protecting Equestria from certain villains such as Tirek and the now-reformed Discord.
You were amazed by how strong she was for a pony that appeared so meek and timid, but even still, you admired her for it. She once told you of the time that she stared down a dragon by looking it dead in the eye and told it to leave the mountain in which it chose to call its home along with its treasure. Never in your dreams would you imagine that a pony such as Fluttershy would be able to talk down a creature over one-hundred times her size and convince it to leave.
She was really an enchanting pony where it counts, and inside of her heart, you knew that she was something truly and incredibly special. She had lots of love to give to other ponies in her life, and she absolutely loved her animal friends and pet rabbit. She was kind, sweet, sensitive and intelligent for such a quiet and anti-social pony.
Over the years of knowing the sweet mare, you have really warmed up to her and gotten to know her to the point that you were proud to call her your best and closest friend. She was always so gentle towards you in the early days of your relationship, and if you were being honest, you immediately felt something in your heart for her, something that made you gravitate towards her like a magnet.
You didn’t really know what it was that caused your attraction to her, whether it was her soothing and soft voice, her wonderful and timid personality and nature or her aura of kindness. In any event, you guessed that it was all three. There was not one trait that you saw in her that was faulty. To you, you thought she was perfect.
‘’Thanks for bringing me here, Andy,’’ She said gratefully, placing down her cup to her saucer with a small smile. ‘’I really like it here,’’ She said. ‘’It’s where me and Rarity used to come after our spa dates together.’’
‘’Oh, it’s alright, Fluttershy,’’ You said, smiling back. ‘’I like it, too. Rarity was actually the pony that introduced me to this place. Now I can see why she likes it so much,’’ You said, looking at your surroundings before your eyes landed back on hers. ‘’So, how’s your cheek? Feeling any better?’’ You asked, motioning to it with your eyes.
Fluttershy’s eyes turned towards the bruise on her cheek and you sensed her muscles tense slightly. ‘’It’s a little better,’’ She said. ‘’Thanks for helping me, by the way,’’ Fluttershy said sweetly, grateful for your kindness. ‘’I don’t know what I would have done if you weren’t there, Andy.’’
‘’It’s nothing, Fluttershy. I was only returning the favour for how kind you’ve been to me over the years. If anything, I’m the one that should be thanking you,’’ You said with a smile, and this time, the mare blushed. ‘’I suppose that having a drink together is a good place to start,’’ You said with a small laugh. Fluttershy giggled, too.
‘’Oh, Andy, you didn’t need to do any of this,’’ She said. ‘’I don’t expect anything in return from you. Having you as my friend is payment enough.’’
‘’You know, Fluttershy, sometimes I think that you’re too kind to your element,’’ You said.
‘’But I mean it, Andy! You’ve always been there for me when I needed you and you’ve always made sure that I was happy when I was sad. I know for a fact that you wouldn’t let anything bad happen to me,’’ She said. ‘’You’ve always been so kind to me, and, well, nopony has really been that nice to me.’’
‘’Hey, hey,’’ You began. ‘’Like I said, I’m only returning the favour. Besides, if nopony has ever been that nice to you, well, maybe you’ve been hanging around with the wrong ponies,’’ You said, and Fluttershy’s ears drooped.
‘’Sometimes, I think that I have been hanging around with the wrong ponies. The only pony to ever be nice to me was Rainbow Dash when we first met in Junior Flight Camp. Ever since then, we’ve been best friends. She always used to protect me and defend me from those horrible bullies that used to pick on me every chance that they got,’’ She said sadly.
You’ve heard her mention those bullies before. A group of three colts there were nothing but a pack of lowdown scum. From the stories that you’ve heard from both her mouth and Rainbow Dash’s, the bullies used to pick on her almost twice as much than Dash. Each time that you heard the stories, you couldn’t help but wonder why anypony would feel the desire to hurt and pick on Fluttershy. In some ways, it just made you sick to your stomach.
‘’You didn’t deserve any of it, Fluttershy,’’ You told her. ‘’You really didn’t. I don’t even know how anypony can pick on somepony like you. I mean, it just seems really cruel to me. You’re by far the sweetest mare that I know, and I’m being one-hundred percent serious when I say that you’re an amazing pony and friend,’’ You said, and you didn’t even realise that you had leaned forward in your seat so that you could place one of your hands onto one of Fluttershy’s hooves.
She only sat there, silent and her expression blank as she processed your words. For a few moments, she moved her lips as she thought on her next string of words, mouthing silently to herself before she spoke again.
‘’A-Andy, do you really mean that?’’ She asked quietly, her cheeks holding a soft and light tinge of pink.
‘’Yes, I do. I mean every single word, Fluttershy,’’ You said sincerely. ‘’Oh, um, sorry,’’ You said, realising that your hand was touching her hoof, quickly pulling it away with an embarrassed expression.
‘’Andy, would you mind if I...asked you something?’’ Fluttershy asked slowly. Silently, you nodded, allowing her to continue. ‘’Last night at my cottage, you, um, seemed a little tense,’’ She said, using the word lightly. You knew exactly what she was talking about, and as she spoke, you felt yourself become just that. ‘’Is...something bothering you, Andy? You’ve not been yourself for a while now. Do you want to talk about it?’’ She offered.
No, You thought inwardly. Not particularly.
You sat with your arms resting on the table, crossed over as you faced the mare across from you. Your face was blank as your eyes met hers, seeing the concern written on her face as she worried about if something was wrong, which, obviously, it was, but said something was a burden you didn’t want to share in the light of this current situation.
If you did spill your feelings out to her, what would she even respond with, if anything? Would she simply get up and walk away without uttering another word? Would she sit and stare in bafflement? Maybe, just maybe, she might want to never speak to you again, and the thought alone of such a thing happening was scary in itself. She may even cancel you out from her life all together!
You didn’t want to put a weight on her shoulders to add in with the weight already bearing down upon her, and you certainly didn’t want to bother her any further. However, at the same time, you knew that she wouldn’t stop worrying until you told her, and that put you in a sticky situation. There was no way around the fire, and you knew it.
Sighing openly through your nostrils, your green eyes met the gaze of Fluttershy, yourself visible in the black of her large pupils. You saw that you looked nervous, and you knew that it was obvious to her, too. You suddenly felt a cold sweat break out upon your forehead, rolling down the side of your skull.
‘’Fluttershy, I, um,’’ You started, already feeling your stomach tie itself into a tight knot. ‘’Look, the thing is that, well, I,’’ You said, feeling like you were about to hurl. You wanted to tell her, you really did, but your nerves were not making it easy for you.
‘’Yes?’’ She said, hoping to beckon you on. ‘’Go ahead, Andy. There’s no need to be afraid to talk about your feelings,’’ She said with a reassuring smile.
Yes, there is, You thought.
‘’No, Fluttershy, you don’t...you don’t unders-stand,’’ You said, feeling yourself becking to quivver in your seat from the emotional conflict building up inside of you. ‘’I c-can’t tell you,’’ You said deflatedly, your shoulders drooping slightly. At that, Fluttershy’s face only became more concerned as her lips tugged into a frown.
‘’You can’t tell me?’’ She asked. ‘’Why not? Is it something...personal?’’ She asked, and you nodded silently to answer her question.
Yes, Fluttershy, it is personal. It’s also very, very, very frustrating and painful, You thought, biting your bottom lip.
‘’A-Andy, are you okay?’’ She asked concernedly. ‘’You’re trembling!’’ She said, motioning with a hoof towards you. She gave you a worried look and she asked, ‘’What’s the matter?’’
‘’Fluttershy, listen, I...’’ You began, trying to find the right words to form a sentence appropriate enough to address her concerns. ‘’...Oh, who am I kidding?’’ You said, feeling yourself deflate as your nerves eventually caved in to the conflict building inside of your heart.
‘’Wait, what?’’ Fluttershy asked, reaching over a hoof and placing it on top of your hand, her touch warm against your clammy skin and only making you feel more on-edge. ‘’Andy, what’s going on? You can tell me if you want to,’’ She said, offering her ears to you in a friendly manner.
You looked down to her hoof that was touching your hand and you felt your heart sink when your eyes tranferred themselves from it to the pegasus’ eyes, seeing how worried they were, holding nothing but a caring and warm vibe, one that was open to offering a shoulder to lean on.
‘’Oh, Fluttershy, I’ve been so stupid,’’ You began, averting your eyes from hers for a moment.
‘’What are you talking about?’’ She asked. ‘’You haven’t done anything wrong. Is there...something you want to tell me?’’ At that, you looked up to meet her eyes again, and this time, you gazed deep within them, seeing all that she was worth.
Kindness, understanding, caring, loving and honest. She stood for all of those things, and yet, you were finding it hard to speak to her in the same respect of those meanings. You felt terrible for it. You wanted to speak to her, to be honest, you wanted to be kind to her like she’s been to you over the years, you wanted to care for her like any friend would, and most of all, you wanted to make her feel loved and appreciated. However, understanding wouldn’t even come close.
You loved those eyes of her, and you loved how she was always so understanding and caring towards you. You returned those feelings, but you knew that it didn’t mean that she felt that way about you. You worried and feared over what her reaction might be if you were to tell her right now in this very moment, and it scared you something fierce. Losing Fluttershy was the very last thing you wanted, as a friend especially.
‘’At the cottage yesterday,’’ You said, Fluttershy allowing you to speak as her eyes showed memory of the event. ‘’When you asked me if everything was alright, I...lied,’’ You said, feeling ashamed at your lack of honesty. Fluttershy didn’t say anything at first, but her face transformed to one of hurt.
‘’You lied?’’ She asked. ‘’Why would you do such a thing?’’ She asked in a slow manner, eyes sad and hurt.
‘’Because,’’ You began, removing your hand from beneath her hoof so that it was holding it again along with your other hand as you looked her directly in the eyes, trying to keep yourself from breaking down in a fain effort. ‘’I had to lie, Fluttershy. I just had to. I didn’t want to, but I had to! You don’t understand! I didn’t feel right then with telling you what was wrong and I still don’t!’’ You said, trying to keep yourself in one piece as you mentally prepared yourself for what you were about to say next.
‘’But why, Andy? What’s wrong? I-If you don’t want to tell me, I won’t force you to,’’ She said, leaning forward slightly on the hay bale on which she was sat upon so that her muzzle was a short distance away from your lips. It wasn’t close enough that you could feel her breath, but enough that it prevented any nearby burning ears from eavesdropping and hearing your words.
‘’Fluttershy, we’ve known each other for quite a while now, haven’t we?’’ You asked, to which she nodded. ‘’Well, look, there’s something that I’ve been wanting to say for quite a while, a-and, I, well...’’ You said, already feeling yourself blush, hoping to whatever God there might be that Fluttershy didn’t notice it. You knew that she did.
Momentarily, you removed your eyes from her own and you felt the knot in your stomach tighten, strained and making you feel nauseous. You made every effort to try and hide the sensation, to block it out, but it was fruitless. You knew that she could sense it, and if anything, it only made her both more curious and concerned for where you were heading with this, yet, somehow, you had this strange and tingling feeling in the back of your mind that told you that she knew what you were going to say.
‘’Yes?’’ She said patiently, hoping that she may finally be able to get an answer off of you without being too pushy.
‘’Fluttershy, I...l-li-like you,’’ You said quietly, your voice below a whisper as the words drifted aimlessly out of your mouth, hardly audible.
‘’What?’’ You heard her say, confused as to what you had said. ‘’I didn’t catch that.’’
‘’I said that I l-like you,’’ You repeated again, this time, a tad louder, but she still gave you a confused expression.
‘’No, I’m still not hearing you,’’ She said.
‘’I said that I like you!’’ You said, this time, a lot louder. It wasn’t loud enough to become a shout, but it was slightly above your normal speaking volume. At your words, Fluttershy flinched slightly, moving back on her haunches as she became still.
Fluttershy sat motionlessly with her hooves lightly touching the top of the mushroom table. She blinked a couple of times as her mind processed the words that had left your mouth, the gears and cogs turning and grinding within her head.
She didn’t say anything for the longest time, and you thought that you lost her at that moment. You thought that this was it and that your friendship was over. She was going to evict you from her life and she was never going to speak to you again!
‘’You...like me?’’ She said eventually, her tone shallow and quiet. Her eyes met yours and you felt a twinge of pain within your gut, as if someone had slugged you with their fist with tremendous force.
‘’Mmm-hmm,’’ You said, nodding your head lightly as you did so. ‘’Ever since I met you,’’ You confessed, seeing her eyes widen slightly in surprise as they shimmered. ‘’I-I’ll understand if you d-don’‘t want to be fr-friends anymore, and I’ll---’’
‘’Wait, what?’’ She asked, shocked. ‘’Why would I not want to be friends anymore? Why would you even think that?’’ She asked, hurt and surprised by what you had just said. You blinked sadly and leaned forward in your seat, planting your elbows on the mushroom table and holding your head in your hands as your eyes were cast downwards, averted from Fluttershy’s gaze.
‘’I don’t know. You’re just so absolutely wonderful in every single way imaginable, and I thought that you maybe wouldn’t want to associate with someone like me that’s completely opposite to you. I mean, you could easily get any stallion you want, so why would you choose to be with me, especially after what’s happened?’’ You said, feeling the tears build up behind your eyes.
The whole while, you didn’t raise your head to view the mare, but you could sense that she was shocked beyond words at your confession. There was a brief moment in which you heard Fluttershy say something low and under her breath, as if thinking to herself out loud at a near-silent volume. After about a minute or so of silence from the butter mare, you felt her hoof touch upon the top of your hand, prompting you to look up to view her face, and, much to your surprise, she was smiling.
‘’Andy, that’s really sweet of you to say,’’ She began, her voice smooth and soothing as she spoke. All the while, her eyes were glistening while they were locked onto your own. ‘’Listen, you’re a really sweet and caring guy that went out of his way to offer me his shoulder to lean on when I really needed it, and for that, I’m thankful. Truth is, Andy, I don’t really want another stallion,’’ She said sweetly, and for a moment, your heart stopped as you watched her intently, blinking.
‘’You...You don’t? Why’s that?’’
‘’Because,’’ She began, leaning in a little closer. ‘’I’ve already found one that cares enough about me to stand up for me and to help me when they see that I need it,’’ She said.
‘’Oh?’’ You said with a blink. ‘’And who might that be?’’
‘’Well, you, of course,’’ She said, stating the obvious.
Could you have heard that correctly? Was...Was Fluttershy saying what you thought she was saying? You didn’t know what to say! Fluttershy, your best and closest friend, was admitting to returning your feelings? You remained silent and your face held a dumbstruck expression as you stared at her, unsure of how to react in this current situation.
‘’I, Fluttershy, I,’’ You began with a stutter. ‘’I-I don’t even know what to say! You...you like me too?’’ You asked with a raised brow. She only nodded back.
‘’Well, of course I do! As a matter of fact, I started to develop feelings for you shortly after our first meeting, but if I’m being honest, I never said anything because...’’ She trailed off.
‘’Because...?’’ You said, leaning in closer to her and holding her hooves gently, waiting patiently for her to continue.
‘’Because I thought that you wouldn’t ever like me back. That was part of the reason that I started dating Ice Valley in the first place,’’ She confessed, her ears drooping and her eyes becoming sad and downcast. You gave soft gasp at her words.
‘’Fluttershy,’’ You said, causing her to move her head back up to face you. ‘’Listen to me - if Ice Valley treated you the way that he did and cast you aside, then it’s his own loss. All he did was decieve you and hurt you, and I don’t know how anyone can be so mean to someone a lovely as you,’’ You said truthfully. ‘’You deserve better than that jerk,’’ You said, to which Fluttershy smiled as her eyes became moist with happy tears. ‘’Now, come on, how about I order us another round? There’s no reason why this day has to end so soon.’’
‘’That sounds wonderful,’’ Fluttershy said with a smile.
~The End~
