Basically, Discord Regrets Nothing
“You’re probably wondering why I’ve gathered you all here today,” Discord announced as he paced around the room.
“Kinda, I got stuff to do today,” Rainbow said.
“I’m sure you do, we all like to do stuff.” Discord stopped and grinned as he surveyed the seven ponies, and one dragon, sitting at the table. “Well I won’t beat around the bush. Pinkie gave me a dare, and I’ve never been one to turn down a chance to instigate some shenanigans!”
“So that’s why she’s been giggling since getting here,” Twilight commented, as Pinkie burst into a fresh fit of laughter. But she covered her mouth, not wanting to reveal the secret.
“Yep!” Discord clapped his hands together. “So! Get ready for a day of fun, as I…” Lights flashed dramatically, “Switch your races around!”
“What?!” several of them demanded, but he snapped his fingers before they could even move, and an unnecessary amount of sparkles filled the air.
As soon as the sparkles faded, the screaming started.
“My horn!” Rarity cried, frantically feeling her face.
“My wings!” Rainbow yelled, arching her suddenly bare back and staring at it.
Twilight looked herself over and gasped. “I don’t have my wings or horn!”
“Whee, wiings!” Pinkie cheered, flapping her new, fluffy pink wings and soaring around the room.
“My wings are gone, but…” Fluttershy touched her forehead. “Oh, my… how strange.” She rubbed the yellow horn now jutting from her head.
“I’ll say!” Applejack agreed, feeling her own new horn. “It’s like a big weird bump!”
“Discord, that was very rude,” Rarity sniffed. Then she noticed her new wings and stared at them, before tilting them about and admiring them. “But ooh, I do like these.”
“I’m an earth pony!” Rainbow wailed. “I can’t fly like this, how am I gonna get to my house?!”
“Uh, guys?” Starlight asked. They all looked at her and gasped. She still had her horn. But now she also had wings, which she spread wide and gave a few awkward flaps.
“Discord!” Twilight yelled. “Put us back!”
“Oh, I will this time tomorrow,” he replied with a grin. “For now you should all get to see what kind of lives your friends live with their different abilities. Should be a fun little friendship experience! Walk in each other’s hooves, or whatever!”
“Why am I the same?” Spike wondered, staring at his claws with disappointment.
“Oh right. Um…” Discord nonchalantly waved a talon, magic flowing from it. “You’re a hedgehog now, enjoy.”
Spike looked at his new paws, then his quills, and said, “Why do I have a sudden urge to go fast?”
“You can’t just change our races around!” Rainbow shouted.
“Why not? Don’t be racist,” Discord replied.
Rainbow spluttered and glared at him.
“You can’t just mess with our bodies like this,” Twilight said, standing and taking a stance. “Fix it, now.”
“Or what?”
“Or I’ll…” Twilight trailed off as she realized she couldn’t cast spells anymore. “I’ll uh… get Starlight to hurt you!”
“Starlight?” Discord asked, looking around. “I don’t see any Starlight to teach me a lesson.”
“What?” Twilight whipped around, but sure enough, Starlight was gone. “Where is she? Starlight!”
Discord laughed gleefully. “Well she’s probably off planning world domination with her new alicorn powers. Guess one of the new unicorns has to make me change you back!”
“Fine, Applejack?” Twilight questioned.
“Uhh, don’t look at me, I don’t know how to work this thing,” Applejack said, going cross eyed as she tried to look at her horn. Orange magic sparked around it and then fizzled out, and she cringed. “Yowch, that’s weird.”
“Fluttershy?” Twilight pleaded desperately.
Fluttershy looked at her. At the door. Then at Discord. “Discord, this was very uncalled for, but…” She beamed. “But imagine how many more animals I can carry with unicorn magic! Sorry, gotta go!” She ran out.
Twilight sighed. “Ugh. Discord, why?”
“For the lulz,” he said with a shrug. “Also, Pinkie dared me.”
“Come on, Twilight, this’ll be fun!” Pinkie called as she flew upside-down over them.
“I miss my wings,” Rainbow lamented, watching her.
“Twenty-four hours,” Discord said. “Have fun!” He vanished.
“I suppose I can deal with this,” Rarity said, turning about as she continued checking out her wings. “These feathers are simply gorgeous. Like a swan’s wings!”
“Guess I might as well get back to the farm,” Applejack said. “Chores still need doin’. Twilight, how do ya do that teleportin’ thing?”
“It’s kinda hard to explain,” Twilight replied. “You just have to feel the magic, let it flow through you as you focus on your destination. Then you will yourself to go, and you do.”
“Hm.” Applejack closed her eyes and her horn glowed. “So, like-” Then she disappeared without warning, leaving only her hat behind. The others stared as it fell to the floor. Then Applejack reappeared, looking just as shocked as them. “Whoa. Howdy again.” She laughed awkwardly, then slowly picked up her hat in her mouth and left again.
“I guess Discord redistributed our magic too,” Twilight sighed. “Fluttershy and Applejack got all the unicorn magic… to say nothing of how my alicorn magic must have gone to Starlight. Great. Rainbow, how are you holding up?”
“How am I holding up?” Rainbow demanded. “I’m flightless! Flight is life, Twilight! Not to mention, my home is in the clouds! What do I do now?”
“It’s only until tomorrow,” Twilight said. “You can stay here with me, or maybe Pinkie and Rarity could fly you back up there.”
“Ugh, Discord’s a jerk,” Rainbow groaned. She enviously stared at Rarity, then said, “Hey, you’re preening wrong, you’re gonna mess up your vanes if you do it that way!”
“Oh? How do you do it then?” Rarity asked.
Rainbow sighed and walked over to her, pulling over one of her wings. “Like this, see you just use your teeth and gently…” She ran a primary feather through her mouth.
Rarity’s face immediately grew hot. “Rainbow! So scandalous!”
Rainbow jerked back, blushing too. “You asked!”
“Aww, bonding already,” Pinkie cooed, hovering over them.
“Maybe Discord’s right,” Twilight said, pawing at the floor and just trying to adjust to not having wings again. But the lack of a horn was much more noticeable. It felt like she was disconnected from the flow of magic around her. Sure, after years of study in the magical arts she could still feel it, but she couldn’t channel it the same way. It was strange. “Maybe living as different races for a bit will be fun.”
“I’m already having a wonderful time!” Pinkie said, doing some flips.
“All that talent is clearly mine,” Rainbow bragged.
“Which just means you and Twilight probably got my super duper baking skills!” Pinkie replied.
“And Applejack’s strength,” Rarity pointed out.
“AJ’s strength, huh?” Rainbow turned and kicked the map table with both hind legs. It flew backward.
“Rainbow!” Twilight admonished.
“Please, that thing’s unbreakable,” Rainbow said.
Twilight trotted toward the table, instinctively trying to use her magic to pick it up, but there was no response from her forehead. Right, no horn. She instead grabbed it with her hooves and flipped it back over. It moved a lot easier than she expected.
“There you go,” Rainbow said, helping her move it back into place. “Wow, is this that earth pony strength? I like it!”
“It’s pretty impressive,” Twilight agreed. She looked at Rarity and Pinkie. “Well, I suppose we should try to get on with our weekends as normal…”
Applejack confidently strolled up to one of her trees and bucked it like she has a million times before. Only instead of getting a cascade of apples, she got only a few, most of which hit her on the way down. And even worse, her hind legs actually hurt from the impact!
“Huh, must have aimed wrong,” she said, frowning at the tree. She used her new magic to toss the apples into her cart, and kicked the tree again. Another twinge of pain up her back, and a few more apples. “What in tarnation?”
Discord appeared beside her without warning, making her jump. “Looks like you’ve found a tree of forbidden fruit,” he joked, lounging on a branch.
“Did you mess with my apple bucking?” Applejack asked.
“Why, me? Mess with your livelihood, the very thing you take pride in?” Discord gasped, pressing a scandalized paw to his chest. Then he grinned. “There’s a very real possibility.”
“You’re a real barrel of trouble sometimes, you know that?”
“Honest as always. But come on AJ, think. Maybe your earth pony green hoof is gone, but you have a different way to harvest apples.” Discord pointed at his forehead, a horn randomly sprouting from it and then disappearing.
Applejack rubbed her foreleg, unsure. “But my family’s always bucked apples. Using magic… it’s just not tradition.”
“It’s just for a day. Go on, use some magic. You get the harvest done quicker, you can have more free time!”
Applejack took a breath, then focused. The apples in several of the trees around her all broke free and lifted into the air. She laughed, twirling them all around and then gathering them into a ball, moving them into her cart and the many waiting baskets in the field. “Okay, maybe I can give myself an easy day.”
Pinkie was putting her new wings to great use. By using them to lift her higher and higher as she attempted to build the largest cake in the history of Sugarcube Corner.
“Dear, please be careful,” Mrs. Cake said nervously as Pinkie laid another layer on their supports, and rushed back to the oven to work on the next layer.
“Trust me, this is gonna be the best cake ever!” Pinkie said gleefully. “I'm gonna get so much done with these wings! I'm gonna build a giant cake, then I'm gonna replace all the light bulbs with colorful ones, then I'm gonna rearrange the top shelves! I can never reach the top shelves without a ladder, but now I can!”
“I see you're getting along just fine,” Discord said, leaning on the counter.
Pinkie spun around, bouncing over to greet him. “Oh hi! When'd you get here?”
“Just now. So, enjoying the flappers?”
“Uh-huh! They're super duper!” Pinkie fluttered them, and went back to her baking. “Need anything? Wanna reserve a slice of my delectable decuple cake?”
“Haha, I'll pass. Just wanted to check in on my little dare master.” Discord leaned over to sniff the cake, and hummed in approval. “Actually, I think I will have a slice of this once it's done.”
“Great! Give me an hour!”
Discord chuckled and bowed. “Of course. Now I'm off to check on the rest of our friends.”
“Okay, tell 'em I said hi!”
Starlight knew her fellow ponies were unbelievably forgiving. You could do absolutely heinous things, but as long as you pouted, cried a little, and wailed that you were sorry, they would leave it in the past and accept you as a friend. And Discord just handed her powerful alicorn magic. She was going to have some fun with this.
She kicked open the door to the throne room and grinned at Celestia and Luna. “Hey bitches, I'm taking over for the day!”
They blinked, lowering their cups of tea.
“Excuse me?” Celestia asked, staring at her from the other side of the room.
Starlight spread her wings out wide, and bragged, “Discord did a little switcharoo on me and my friends, so I decided to have some fun with it!”
Luna sighed and set her cup down. “Of course he did. Alicorn magic doesn't mesh well with the power hungry. It tends to go to your head.”
“I could rule this kingdom better than both of you!” Starlight continued. The raw power flowing through her body was intoxicating. It spoke of wonderful things, things that she could do, and no one would be able to stop her!
“Could one of you shut her up, please?” Celestia called to the guards lining the room.
They raised their spears and started forward, but one pulse of magic from Starlight knocked them all out cold.
“Why do we even have royal guards?” Luna said over the thuds of several armored bodies hitting the ground.
“They look cool.” Celestia stood. “Well I suppose we haven't had an attempt at a hostile takeover in a while. Bring it.”
Luna got up too. “Finally, we can pay her back for that nonsense she pulled with our cutie marks.”
Starlight stamped the floor with her hoof, and charged toward them, horn glowing with intense magic. The two princesses charged to meet her, ready for what would no doubt be the most epic battle they've ever fought.
“I've run into more doors than I can count and it's only been a few hours,” Twilight groaned, rubbing her head after hitting yet another door due to forgetting she couldn't open them magically.
“Yeah, I keep wanting to fly but well.” Spike shrugged and gestured to his back.
“I guess it's like old times, huh?”
“Haha. Well at least my name still fits.” Spike jogged in place, and once they were in the library and Twilight was picking out some light reading, he began running around the room.
“You seem really energetic,” Twilight said.
“Yeah, I don't know, it's weird! I just... I just really wanna run! Is that normal for hedgehogs? Is that a thing?”
“I'm... not sure. I don't think so.”
“Huh, guess I'm just a weird one.”
“Well you are solid purple.”
“I'm gonna go running outside, see ya!”
“Bye, make sure you hydrate.” Twilight waved as he left, and clumsily picked up a pen with her hoof. It fell a few seconds later, and she sighed as she fumbled with it. “I hope the others are doing okay.”
Discord approached Fluttershy as she laid outside her cottage, surrounded by animals. Her horn was glowing and she was tending to many of them with brushes, and petting others.
“Doing good?” Discord asked.
“Oh yes, very good,” she replied. “I've been able to get so much done today.”
“That's great! You seem to be picking up magic very quickly.”
“I can't do some of those complicated spells Twilight can, but I can definitely do anything that helps me care for my little friends.” Fluttershy looked over as Harry the bear let out a growl. “And my big friends, of course.”
“Good, I'm glad you're satisfied. I'm gonna go see what Rainbow's up to.”
“I hope she's doing alright, she seemed really upset about losing her wings,” Fluttershy said quietly.
“I'm sure she's fine,” Discord said dismissively.
“Rainbow Dash, this seems like a very bad idea,” Rarity complained as she walked with Rainbow to the edge of one of the highest cliffs near Appleloosa.
“I think you mean it seems like a very cool idea,” Rainbow replied, pulling goggles down over her eyes. “If I can't fly with wings, I'll fly with technology!” She held up her new hang glider.
“Darling, I don't think this is going to work.”
“Please, plenty of ponies go hang gliding and live, these things totally work. I read the instruction manual and everything.” Rainbow pulled the straps around her middle and stood tall, adjusting the bar that was pressing to her chest. As soon as she was flying she would be able to grab the bar with her front hooves.
“Can't you just wait until tomorrow to get your wings back?” Rarity asked. “Honestly, it's like you're addicted to flying.”
“I'm not addicted, I can quit any time I want.” Rainbow backed up. “But I don't want to quit! Whoo!” She galloped forward and leaped from the edge, grabbing the bar and soaring off.
Rarity hurried to the edge to watch her, but to her relief, she was gently gliding over the town. “Whew. I guess it does work.” She opened her wings and flew after Rainbow, wanting to stay close by. Just in case.
There. That was the last of the day's harvest.
Applejack wiped sweat from her brow as she pulled the last basket into the barn. “Well now. Suppose I should find somethin' else to do, now that that's done.” She started for the house. Then she paused, thinking about how much else she could get done now that she had magic.
The roof did need fixing, and some of the trees needed pruning, not to mention one of their best wagons had lost a wheel...
“Hm, suppose I can get a jumpstart on some other things today,” she said, going to pick up her tools and starting for the ladder that led to the roof of the barn. “Another hour of work. Then you can enjoy yourself.” She might as well take advantage of the situation, right? It's not like she was a workaholic or anything.
Starlight grunted as she was slammed into the floor. She tried to pick herself up, only for Celestia to deliver a hard kick to her side and send her flying again. Her horn glowed as she grabbed herself with magic, but just as she was starting to steady herself, Luna flew up and kicked her back toward Celestia.
“Up high!” Celestia called, jumping up and grabbing Starlight, then throwing her back.
Starlight bristled. They were playing with her!
“Hey, fight properly!” she yelled.
“No need,” Celestia replied. “You aren't worth our full effort.”
Starlight growled, and swung her wings open, magic exploding outward and knocking the two back. She landed, panting as she glared at them. “You'll regret that.” She advanced toward them, her eyes glowing as magic flowed through her.
The two exchanged an unsure look, but got ready, lowering their heads and watching her.
Starlight drew together all her strength, tapping into that immense store of alicorn magic she now had, and blasted them with a beam of red hot energy. They didn't seem to be expecting such ferocity, and they were slammed back against the far wall by the sheer force. Starlight kept it up, running toward them and laughing.
“Hah! You see, you're not worthy to rule over Equestria!” she crowed, stopping the magic and letting them shakily sit up. “It's time for a new princess to take over!” She eyed their flanks, and smirked. “And I can't have any rebellion, now can I?” She charged up a spell she hasn't used in a long time. But she still remembered how to do it. She tore the cutie marks from Celestia and Luna's flanks, and summoned a couple jars to put them in.
“Starlight Glimmer!” Celestia shouted. “You've gone too far! Return our cutie marks at once!”
“Nah.” Starlight vanished the jars and stepped past the powerless princesses, going up to sit on Celestia's throne. Another wave of magic, and all the guards in the room woke up. They stood, shaking their heads as they got their bearings. Then, seeing the princesses on the floor, they shouted in outrage and lifted their spears.
“I wouldn't do that if I were you,” Starlight said, lounging back. The guards ran toward her and she sighed. “Fine.” She seized them all with magic, lifting them high into the air. They flailed their legs, many of them dropping their spears in their panic. “Listen up! Celestia and Luna are defeated! I rule Equestria now, and I will not tolerate any dissent!” She threw them to the floor.
Luna weakly dragged herself to the closest guard, who went to her aid, helping her stand up. Celestia was helped up too, and she winced as she took a few steps. She glared at Starlight, who was watching them with a smug smile. “Fine, Starlight,” she said. “You want to rule Equestria so badly? Then go ahead! But when the pressure gets to be too much for you, don't come crying to us!”
“Sister?” Luna asked as Celestia turned and limped out. She hurried to her side. “We can't just let her win.”
Celestia leaned over. “Don't worry, she said Discord only made her like this for a day. As soon as she changes back to a unicorn, we'll make her feel sorry she ever challenged us.”
Luna blinked, then smiled deviously. “As much as I'll enjoy that, perhaps we should simply bring Twilight and her friends to take care of her? They did it before and they could do it again.”
“We could, but she said Discord switched all of them around. They might not have enough of a grasp on their new abilities to beat her.”
“It's worth trying.” Luna glanced over her shoulder as they left the room, seeing that Starlight was helping herself to the tea they had left behind. “I shudder to think what she might do in that position.”
“Then we'll go to Ponyville. Hopefully Twilight and her friends can help us.”
“And in this corner, weighing two hundred and twenty-five pounds, iiit's Twilight Sparkle!” Pinkie called, to applause from the crowd. Twilight hopped from leg to leg, hyping herself up. Pinkie turned to point to the other side of the ring. “And her opponent, weighing in at a solid fifty pounds, a regular ol' door!”
Cheers filled the room, mingled with booing. The oak door stood propped up in the corner, mocking them.
“What did I walk in on,” Celestia said.
“Oh, hi Princess Celestia,” Fluttershy said, offering her a bag. “Popcorn?”
“No thanks. Um, is Twilight busy?”
The bell rang. Twilight screamed and launched herself at the door, slamming her head into it and then knocking it onto the floor, where she proceeded to beat it with her hooves.
“She's working through some things,” Fluttershy explained.
Celestia and Luna stood there, watching as Twilight rolled across the floor with the door held firmly in her forelegs, kicking at it with her back hooves and even chewing on it.
“So, Discord messed with all of you, huh?” Luna asked.
“Yeah, it was really quite a shock,” Fluttershy replied. “But I've gotten used to having a horn, and it is only for a day.”
“He made Twilight an earth pony?” Celestia asked. “No wonder she's so upset.”
“Mhm. She kept running into doors and well, finally decided to take out her frustration on them.” Fluttershy got a closer look at the princesses and gasped. “You're missing your cutie marks!”
“Indeed. Starlight Glimmer took them,” Luna scowled.
“Starlight- oh no, not again.”
With a mighty kick from her back legs, Twilight sent the door flying over the edge of the ring, where it knocked over several ponies. She jumped up onto one of the posts and flexed. “Yeah!” she screamed. “Who's next?!”
Pinkie set a very ornate, mahogany door in front of her.
“She attacked us and basically took over Equestria,” Celestia explained to Fluttershy.
“Huh. When was this?”
“About an hour ago.”
“Weird, you'd think she would have made a big announcement.”
“Probably got caught up in paperwork,” Luna said, and Celestia nodded solemnly.
“They always forget that taking over a kingdom means getting all the bureaucratic nonsense that comes with it,” Celestia said. “You ever managed the politics of an entire nation? It's hard work!”
“Not to mention all the public appearances you gotta make.”
“All the smiling and waving.”
“The diplomatic visits.”
“Starlight's probably regretting it already. And to think I was worried.”
“Oh my.” Fluttershy frowned. “Well, we can definitely help you take Equestria back from her. But we might need some time to gather everypony up.”
“Where are the rest of your friends?” Celestia asked.
“Hm, let's see...” Fluttershy looked around. “So Twilight and Pinkie are here hosting the door matches, but everypony else is off adjusting to their new bodies. Rainbow Dash had an existential crisis and has taken up extreme sports and is volcano diving in the Dragon Lands, Rarity is foalsitting her so she doesn't kill herself, Applejack is retiling her entire roof last I saw, and Spike is running the Baltimare Marathon.”
“He's... running a marathon?” Celestia demanded.
“Yes.”
“Since when has Spike been that interested in running?” Luna asked.
“Since Discord turned him into a hedgehog.”
“But... since when do hedgehogs-”
“Princess, look out!” Fluttershy grabbed the shards of door that flew their way, slowly lowering it with her magic.
“Sorry!” Twilight called. Then she saw who was standing there. “Princess Celestia? Luna?” She vaulted over the ropes and ran over to them. “What are you doing here?”
“Sorry to interrupt, but there's a bit of an emergency,” Celestia said. “Starlight Glimmer. She-”
“Let me guess, overthrew you and took over Equestria?” Twilight asked.
The two stared.
“Uh, yes, that's correct,” Luna said slowly. “But how did you-”
“Discord guessed she would do that. Honestly, I don't know what to do with her, she seems so friendly but as soon as she gets some power, she just...” Twilight shook her head. “Whatever. I'll deal with her tomorrow.”
“About that. We were hoping you and your friends could use the Elements of Harmony to defeat her,” Celestia suggested.
“Hm, I don't know if we can use their magic after Discord messed with our powers, but we can try.” Twilight lowered her gaze and sighed as she looked at their thighs. “She did the cutie mark stealing thing, didn't she?”
“She did the cutie mark stealing thing.”
“Great. I swear, sometimes I wish I had just locked her up in Tartarus...” Grumbling darkly, Twilight walked back to the ring. “Pinkie, show's over, we gotta find our friends and use the Elements of Harmony on Starlight Glimmer so she'll stop being evil.”
“Okie-dokie!” Pinkie jumped out of her stand. “Show's over, everypony! Go on! You don't have to go home but you can't stay here!”
The crowd let out disappointed groans, but they cleared out. Pinkie flew over, hovering in front of them.
“Fluttershy, you ready to fight Starlight?” Twilight asked.
“I guess so.”
“Great. Let's go get Applejack.”
Applejack smiled proudly as she looked over the house. Everything was fixed. The roof tiles, that leaky window on the second floor, the squeaky front door. Now she was just going to give the barn a fresh coat of paint and-
“Applejack!” Pinkie yelled. “We need your help!”
Applejack turned around. “Whuh-” and was promptly knocked off her hooves by a pink blur.
Pinkie sat on her chest, bouncing slightly. “Come on AJ, we gotta go beat Starlight!”
“Beat Starlight?” Applejack blinked. “Didn't we already do that a few seasons ago?”
“Huh?”
“Ya know, there's been at least two apple bucking seasons since then so-”
“Yeah but she went evil again because of Twilight's alicorn magic taking over her brain!”
“Oh please, she's probably just using that as an excuse to get up to some mayhem. She and Discord are more alike than she likes to think.” Applejack used her magic to pick Pinkie up and set her on the ground, standing.
Twilight, Fluttershy, Celestia, and Luna trotted up to her.
Applejack let out a whistle. “Boy, this is serious, huh?”
“It sure is, we-” Twilight froze, looked around the yard, and said, “Wow, you've gotten a lot done today.”
“Heh, yeah, I never knew just how handy unicorn magic could be.” Applejack gave her horn a tap. “But I kinda miss my physical strength.”
“And I miss my horn. But we can't worry about that now. We have to use the Elements of Harmony to defeat Starlight.”
“She really managed to beat both of you?” Applejack asked the princesses incredulously.
They huffed, and Celestia said, “We didn't think she'd be that strong.”
“Guess Twilight's magic has grown more than we expected,” Luna said.
Twilight blushed. “Heh. Starlight always has been a very talented unicorn. She also sometimes doesn't know when to limit herself. She probably exhausted herself fighting you, so we should be able to beat her pretty quickly. I hope.”
“Discord should be ashamed of himself for causing so much trouble,” Celestia growled.
“No I shouldn't be and I'm not,” Discord said from above them. They stared at him as he landed and laughed. “Well, look at this! Celestia and Luna, all meek and powerless! It's such a good look for you, you really need to be humbled more often.”
“Discord, how could you make Starlight an alicorn?” Celestia demanded. “I don't claim to know why you did this in the first place, but surely you could have given anypony else Twilight's magic but the one pony who has delusions of grandeur and a track record of doing things like taking over towns and controlling ponies?”
“Of course I could have! But I knew Starlight would be the most fun! Any of the others would have been alright with Twilight's magic, they're so pure of heart.” Discord considered, then said, “Well... Rainbow would probably have started doing double and triple rainbooms, and Pinkie would become a chaos goddess to rival myself, but I just really wanted to watch Starlight beat the two of you up.”
They sighed.
“And I take it you're not gonna change them all back?” Celestia asked.
“Nope! Not for sixteen more hours!”
“Fine. Come on girls, let's go get the others.” Celestia led the way back into town.
Discord waved a handkerchief at them. “Farewell ladies, but you better hurry, because Rainbow just got done volcano diving and is going mountain climbing on Equestria's most dangerous cliff face soon, and as you know, she has no wings!”
“Most dangerous cliff face?” Fluttershy gasped. “What would that be?”
Twilight thought about it, then said, “It's gotta be Spine Ridge! It's part of a mountain chain and features incredibly steep cliffs, some a straight ninety degree angle to the ground, and some even tilt backward so you're pretty much hanging off of them while trying to climb!”
“She's gonna get hurt!” Fluttershy exclaimed.
“Or worse!” Twilight turned to Applejack. “You can teleport. You gotta teleport us now!”
“But, I don't know where Spine Ridge is,” Applejack protested.
“I do. Everypony, join hooves. Fluttershy, you'll need to use your magic too. Focus on moving us with your magic, and I'll guide us.” Twilight held her hooves out and waited as the others got in a circle and grasped each other tightly around the fetlocks.
“Can you guide us without your own magic?” Fluttershy asked curiously.
Twilight smiled. “I may not have my own horn, but I'm very good at teleportation, as well as channeling magic coming from other sources than myself. As long as we're all in contact, I can lead us.”
“If you say so.” Applejack closed her eyes to focus, as did Fluttershy.
“I wish we could help, but our magic is almost nonexistent after what Starlight did,” Celestia apologized.
“It's okay,” Twilight said. “Save your strength. Alright everypony. Relax. Deep breath in...” She closed her own eyes, tilting her head back as she just let their magic flow through her. She pictured Spine Ridge, specifically the most dangerous cliff, knowing that was where Rainbow was most likely to be. Then she released the magic.
A moment later, they were stumbling onto rocky ground, opening their eyes.
“We did it!” Applejack exclaimed.
“Good job, Twilight,” Fluttershy said.
“Thank you. Now, let's find Rainbow.” Twilight looked around, and Pinkie tapped her shoulder.
“She's right there.” Pinkie pointed, and sure enough, Rainbow was right nearby, hanging from the side of a mountain while Rarity fluttered back and forth nervously behind her.
“Rainbow!” Twilight called, trotting toward her with the others right behind her.
“Huh?” Rainbow looked down. “Oh, hey guys!”
“What are you doing, you're gonna get hurt!” Twilight shouted.
“No I'm not, look I got a rope and everything!” Rainbow tapped one of the anchors her rope was fed through, and climbed another foot higher. Her back hooves scraped against the rock a few times before managing to find purchase. “Plus I got Rarity being my wingpony!”
As the others got closer, they realized Rarity was sweating, breathing hard as she hovered next to the cliff.
“I've been in the air for hours,” Rarity explained to them. “She keeps talking about how she needs to be close to the sky, she just can't tolerate being on the ground for too long, she's been sky diving and hang gliding and all sorts of nonsense! I knew she was into extreme sports but this is ridiculous!”
“Rainbow, you need to come down!” Twilight called.
“Why? What's going on?”
Celestia stepped forward. “Starlight Glimmer has run us out of our castle and taken over Equestria. We need your help, as one of the Elements of Harmony, to defeat her.”
“Oh?! Why didn't you say so?” Rainbow let go of the cliff and rappelled down. Once she was back on the ground, Rarity pulled out the anchors she had set up, and they stowed everything away in a bag.
“As soon as I saw that Discord made Starlight an alicorn, I knew she was going to do something like this,” Rarity said. “But I didn't expect her to do it so soon.” She looked at the princesses more closely and gasped. “She even took your cutie marks?!”
“She did,” Luna confirmed. “But we'll get them back once the six of you stop her.”
“Let's head to Canterlot,” Twilight said. “We need to take care of Starlight before she does anything drastic.”
“Do we need to go right now?” Fluttershy asked. “I was hoping we could go to Baltimare and see how Spike does in the marathon.”
“Fluttershy, this is serious, we have no time for- Spike's in a marathon you say?”
Twilight and her friends waved flags and cheered as runners passed the finish line. “Yeah, alright!”
“Spike should be coming down the home stretch any moment now,” Rarity said, landing next to them and passing out bottles of water.
“He's doing so well, who knew hedgehogs could go so fast?” Fluttershy commented.
“I don't think anypony did.”
Celestia craned her head up, then said, “I believe I see him now.”
“Come on Spike!” Twilight yelled, leaning over the rail. A few moments later, she could see Spike among the crowd, a little purple hedgehog running just as fast as he could. “You're at three hours and thirty minutes, you're doing awesome!” A usual finish time was around four hours, but many creatures would take even longer. Ponies were notorious for starting out the race fast, but not really being distance runners, would have to slow down and take the bulk of it at a trot, conserving their energy. But at the end, they were all speeding back up.
“Spike!” Rainbow shouted. “You can do it, make us proud!”
They yelled louder for Spike, and he grinned when he noticed them, breaking into a sprint. They didn't stop cheering and clapping until he had passed the finish line. He went to walk next to the rail, panting but generally looking pleased with himself.
“Whew, that was fun,” he said.
“I'm glad you enjoyed yourself,” Twilight said, passing him a bottle of water. “What made you want to run an entire marathon?”
“It's hard to explain. It just felt right, ya know?”
“No. But anyway, I'm glad you're done, because we have a pretty big problem to take care of.”
Spike veered off for a bit to grab one of the medals that all the racers were getting, then met up with the others once they were past where the rails ended. “What kind of problem?” he asked, putting the medal on.
“Starlight Glimmer attacked us and took over Equestria,” Celestia said.
Spike blinked. Then he casually swiped a banana off one of the many food tables and peeled it. “Oh. That's not good.”
“We're going to use the Elements of Harmony to defeat her,” Twilight explained. “My alicorn magic really went to her head, she took Celestia and Luna's cutie marks and everything, so they need our help.”
“Wow. I thought you had learned your lesson, Glim Glam.” Spike sighed and shook his head, then bit into the banana. “And you decided to watch me run instead of going to fight her right away?”
They shrugged, and Luna said, “She's not the worst pony that could have taken over. We expect her to have her hooves full with the daily logistics of running Equestria. All the paperwork and public appearances and whatnot.”
“I had a meeting with some Abyssinians at about this time,” Celestia said, checking the Sun. “I hope she's willing to take that over for me, they'll be quite upset if they came all this way for nothing.”
They laughed, and headed for the nearest train station, hopping on the first train heading for Canterlot. They really weren't in any hurry.
It ended up being the next day before they all arrived in Canterlot, having stopped in Ponyville along the way and indulging in Pinkie's leftover delectable decuple cake at her insistence. After which they had a sleepover at Twilight's castle, and they made time for an early breakfast up on the roof so they could laugh over Starlight's clumsy attempts to raise the Sun.
“I'm impressed she even got the Moon up,” Luna commented, as they watched the Sun zigzag, shooting too high over the horizon before abruptly going back down, all while the Moon continued to sit there in one spot.
“Even if I could help her, I wouldn't,” Celestia replied. “This is hilarious. Spike, pass me the eggs.”
But finally the morning dawned properly, and they got a move on, catching a train to take them the rest of the way.
As they walked through Canterlot toward the castle, they saw walls draped in posters of Starlight, wearing a silver crown and glaring down at passersby, with OBEY written in large red letters over her.
“That's cute,” Twilight said.
“She really could use a graphic designer,” Rarity said. “That font with that art style? Horrid.”
Celestia paused to pick up a newspaper. “Oh look, it seems she actually did still meet with the Abyssinians, and actually established good relations with them! That's surprising.”
“She probably just agreed to everything they had to say to get rid of them,” Rainbow suggested.
The others nodded in agreement. Celestia perused the newspaper as they walked, having recovered enough magic to let it float in front of her. “Let me see... she's also declared herself Queen Starlight Glimmer, the shining ruler of Equestria.”
“Shouldn't it be glimmering ruler of Equestria?” Spike asked. They all burst into laughter.
“Stop right there!” a nearby royal guard yelled, galloping toward them and pulling his spear out. “Jokes at the expense of our bright and gleaming leader are illegal!”
“Bright and gleaming leader?” Twilight asked, deadpan.
“You'll need to come with me,” he continued.
Celestia stepped forward, and he straightened. “Gallant,” she said blankly. “What are you doing?”
He looked between her and her sister, then sighed and said in an undertone, “That angry pink alicorn took over and is making us do whatever she says, I'm just enforcing her laws so she doesn't put me on cleaning duty.”
“Laws?” Luna asked. “What laws? She's already implementing laws?”
“Yes, Princess. She's declared it illegal to mock her, illegal to whistle in public, and illegal to refer to her as anything other than Queen Starlight Glimmer, at least within earshot of one of her guards. And last I saw she's working with the armory right now to get all our armor coated with a rose gold finish instead of its normal gold.”
“Rose gold?” Applejack exclaimed. “Confound it, we gotta stop her.”
“Now hold on, rose gold is a lovely color,” Rarity replied. “It's so much more fashionable than that drab yellow gold most of the guards wear.”
“The guards aren't supposed to be fashionable,” Rainbow argued. “They're soldiers! They need to look tough!”
“Oh please, the helmets and spears already make them look tough, so making their armor just a little prettier won't hurt anything.”
“I don't know about you but if a soldier walked up to me in rose gold I'd laugh my flank off,” Applejack stated.
“Well I think pink is a great color!” Pinkie said.
“Is anypony else concerned that they're wearing such a soft metal as gold in the first place?” Spike asked.
“The entire armor set isn't gold, the armor is actually iron, it's just got a gold finish,” Twilight explained.
While the mane six, and Spike, debated over armor design, Celestia and Luna continued talking to Gallant.
“Where's Starlight now?” Celestia asked.
“Queen Starlight Glimmer is currently in the dining hall enjoying a banquet prepared in her honor,” Gallant replied.
“A banquet?” Luna groaned. “Great. She's really let this thing go to her head. I was really hoping the paperwork would keep her busy.”
“Oh, she spent last night working on the more tedious aspects of running a kingdom, but this morning declared she was tired of that and burnt all the proposed laws and finance books and whatnot in a huge pile in the castle garden.”
“She did WHAT?!” Celestia demanded. “Twilight, everypony, we need to stop her, now! Before she burns all our work! It'll take months to rewrite all that!”
“Right, let's go everypony,” Twilight said, and they thanked the guard before sprinting to the castle.
“No problem, I'll just uh...” He looked around uncomfortably, heard someone whistling, and sighed. “Keep enforcing these ridiculous laws... HEY YOU!” He ran at them with his spear out.
As they approached the castle, Celestia said, “Twilight, Rainbow, take the door down.”
“You got it, Princess!” Twilight and Rainbow got to the front of the group, and used their front hooves to ram right through the door.
“You know we keep the main doors unlocked, right?” Luna asked.
“I know, it's more dramatic this way,” Celestia replied.
Several guards rushed out to stop them. The princesses tried telling them to stand down, and while a few nervously did so, the others claimed loyalty to Starlight and tried to attack them. So Fluttershy and Applejack took the lead, using their magic to lift all of them and toss them several yards back. It didn't hurt them, but it gave the group room to get through the entrance hall and race for the dining room without being caught.
“Pegasus guards!” Celestia called, as the two guards in front of the doors took to the air and soared toward them.
“We got this, come on Rarity!” Pinkie shouted, flying to meet them.
“Oh, I hate getting violent,” Rarity sighed, flying after her and colliding with one of the guards head on, grappling with him and slamming him to the floor. Pinkie pretty much bounced onto her target, jumping up and down on his back until her weight knocked him out of the air as well.
A strong buck and Twilight and Rainbow knocked the doors off their hinges, scattering them across the floor.
They all crowded through, and were immediately caught in a huge magical bubble and lifted into the air.
Starlight surveyed them from the end of a long table stacked with food. “Really now, interrupting your queen's breakfast?” she said, picking at her teeth. “How rude.”
“Starlight, you need to stop this!” Celestia shouted, pounding on the inside of the bubble.
“That's Queen Starlight to you.”
“You're no queen, you're not even a princess,” Luna growled. “You're using stolen alicorn magic and letting it go to your head. You haven't earned those wings. You haven't earned our respect.”
“You think I care about respect?” Starlight barked, jumping onto the table and scattering plates aside as she marched toward them. “I don't needed to be 'respected' or 'loved'! I just want you all to see me as the most powerful being in Equestria, to bow down before me and heed my every word!”
“You're a tyrant,” Celestia said.
“Whatever.” Starlight flew up to their bubble, going in a circle around it to look at all of them. “I really must thank Discord. He made a wise decision giving me Twilight's alicorn magic. I think, when he comes back to switch us back, I'm not going to let him. I quite like being in charge, especially once I did away with that useless paperwork.”
“You fiend!” Luna rammed against the bubble but couldn't break out.
“Mhm, in time history will see me as an opportunist.” Starlight rubbed her hoof against her chest and admired it. “Hm, you think I should use silver for my hoof covers? I quite like my silver crown...”
Her prisoners were defiantly silent, until Rarity said, “Well darling, the silver does go very well with your coat. But might I recommend swapping out that ruby in your crown for an amethyst?” Everyone turned to stare at her, and she said, “What? If she's going to be in charge the least she can do is not be a fashion disaster!”
“Amethyst, huh? Oh, that'd go so good with my eyes. You know what, Rarity, you can be my fashion designer in the glorious new kingdom I'm going to build.”
“Oh darling, you're too kind, but I must decline.”
“It wasn't an offer.” Starlight checked the time. “Hm, four hours until Discord's due to switch us back, I should start figuring out exactly how I'm going to stop him. And I know just the magical expert who can help me find the perfect spell.” She smiled deviously at Twilight, whose ears laid back.
“Wait, wait, wait, what was that?” a familiar voice said, and with a flash of light, Discord materialized next to the bubble. He crossed his arms and gave Starlight a very unimpressed look. “You're going to stop me, you say?”
“Uh...” She stammered for a moment, before regaining her composure, the glow around her horn becoming more intense. “That's right! Celestia and Luna have reigned for far too long! It's time for a new ruler to take their place! And I won't let you stop me from fulfilling my destiny!” She blasted him with magic that seemed to completely consume his body, and the others gasped and screamed. Fluttershy even cried as she scraped her hooves against the bubble.
Then they saw Discord's arm reach out of the magic and take hold of it, then peeled it off as effortlessly as removing a coat.
“Honestly, Starlight, you have to try harder than that,” he said, crushing the magic into a tiny ball and eating it. Fluttershy abruptly stopped crying, hastily wiping her cheeks off and giving a weak smile when Discord gave her a thumbs up.
Starlight snarled and shot him with a different sort of magic, this taking the form of thick chains that surrounded him and bound his limbs together. He seemed mildly concerned about this, and she gave a savage grin. “Now I've got you. These chains completely lock down all-”
He flexed his arms and broke them, not even looking at them as they clanked heavily to the floor. “That all you got?”
“Ugh, everyone has a weakness!” Starlight yelled, planting the bubble into the floor and taking a firm stance on her hooves as she charged another spell. Discord waited patiently, smiling at her. His calm expression pissed her off, and her anger ended up flowing into the spell she hit him with, causing it to actually cause pain.
Discord jerked back, surprised that it actually managed to hurt him. His smile was gone in an instant, and while he was able to shrug off the energy, he was no longer amused. “That's it.” He advanced toward her, throwing aside every spell she launched at him, and seized her with his own magic, slamming her to the floor. He stepped on her with his deer hoof, knocking the breath out of her as he leaned down and grabbed her horn. “No more.”
“You can't change me back yet,” Starlight said. “You promised Pinkie. Twenty-four hours.”
Discord looked at Pinkie. “Are you holding me to that?”
“Well... it was a dare, and you agreed,” she said regretfully.
“Seriously?” Rainbow demanded. “Pinkie, Starlight's a menace, let Discord switch us back!”
“No can do! He Pinkie promised!”
Discord sighed. “Alright, then plan B.” He let go of Starlight. “Girls, Elements of Harmony time.” He used his tail to pop the bubble they were trapped in.
“Don't you dare,” Starlight threatened, backing away and surrounding herself with a shield.
Twilight walked toward her. “We don't want to use them on you. Just give Equestria back to Celestia and Luna, and return their cutie marks to them. I know the power is intoxicating, how do you think I felt when I became an alicorn? I didn't let anypony know, but I wanted to take control. I felt like I could do anything, that with my new magic I was unstoppable. But I didn't let those thoughts control me. I remained humble, and explored my new power carefully. I took on only those responsibilities that the princesses entrusted me with. Seizing control like you did isn't the way. Please, Starlight, I know you're a good pony. You don't want to do this.”
“Spare me the speeches,” Starlight said, expanding her shield just enough to knock Twilight back. “This is what I was meant to do! Your magic has shown me the truth! I will be the greatest leader Equestria has ever known!”
Twilight set her hoof on the shield, gazing through it at the other. “I believe you can be the greatest leader Equestria has ever known. But it has to be done your way, with your own natural talents. Not with magic stolen from me, magic that your mind simply was not prepared to handle. Come on, Starlight. Remember when you became our friend. Remember the regret you felt at everything you did to the citizens of your old town. Do you really want to do all that again?”
“This is different, I'm not stealing cutie marks and forcing conformity, I'm-”
Twilight pointed to Celestia and Luna, who showed their bare flanks. And Rarity bluntly said, “You are forcing everypony to refer to you the exact same way, dear, and not allowing any dissent, even in the form of jokes...”
“That's just-”
“Not to mention, rose gold uniforms for the royal guards?” Applejack pointed out. “What in the hay is wrong with you?”
“Wait, did you say rose gold?” Discord asked gleefully.
“I can make Equestria better!” Starlight shouted.
“Then make it better! Your way!” Twilight pressed closer to the shield, begging with her eyes for Starlight to give up.
Starlight frowned for a brief moment, then glared, showing her teeth. “I'd rather do it this way!”
“Okay, I'm bored, Elements of Harmony time,” Rainbow said. She and the others joined hooves while Celestia, Luna, and Spike stepped back, and Twilight quickly looked behind her.
“Wait, we can still get through to her,” Twilight protested, only for her hoof to be grabbed.
“Then let's give her some encouragement!” Rainbow tapped into the magic that was still bound to them despite the physical elements being miles away, and a red aura surrounded her, lifting her into the air. Magic flowed through the six, each of them lighting up, and Twilight sighed and joined in, letting herself be lifted as well. The energy was like a wind blowing around them, and their manes and tails flowed as they focused.
“So dramatic,” Discord said, sitting on the table and helping himself to the nearest bowl of fruit.
Starlight braced herself, her shield glowing brighter as she poured all her magic into it, eyes wide.
Twilight's voice echoed as she said, “Last chance, Starlight. Surrender.”
“I...” Starlight gripped one of her wings between her hooves, nervously stroking it. “Well, maybe we can come to an agreement-”
“Too late!” Rainbow took the lead, and magic exploded from their bodies.
“Well, shit,” Starlight said, just before the rainbow of magic struck her and blew the shield away in seconds, and heat seared across her fur, lifting her into the air.
The six focused everything they had into the attack, hardly noticing as their bodies tingled, a strange energy sweeping through them as well. They just chalked it up to being the effects of the powerful magic they were wielding. The rainbow swirled around Starlight and then brightened, before becoming a blinding white they all had to close their eyes against. The power of the Elements abruptly left them, just as it did every time its job was done, and they all landed gently on the floor.
Starlight was shaking as she lifted her head, but besides the singes on her fur, she seemed unhurt. “I'm... sorry,” she said softly, looking away.
Twilight could see now that she no longer had wings. She was back to being a unicorn. Twilight looked herself over, and realized she had her horn and wings back. “Hey, I'm an alicorn again,” she said.
The others all looked at each other and gasped, realizing they were back to normal too. Even Spike had been changed back.
“Alright!” Rainbow pulled each of her wings in front of her face to kiss them, and then took to the air, doing a flip. “I'm a pegasus again!”
“Which means I got my apple buckin' skills back!” Applejack cheered, giving a few excited kicks of the back legs. “Aw yeah!”
“But the switcharoo was supposed to last twenty-four hours!” Pinkie protested, looking at Discord.
He held his hands up innocently. “Hey, obviously the Elements decided you should all go back to normal! And the deal was just that I change you back after a full day, nothing was said about outside forces doing it.”
She lifted her hoof, opened her mouth, and froze. Then she said, “Can't argue that I guess.”
“Our magic has been returned to us as well,” Celestia said, and sure enough, she and Luna had their cutie marks back. They approached Starlight with their wings spread and expressions firm.
Twilight quickly got between them and Starlight. “Please, she's my student. Let me deal with her.”
“Twilight, please step aside,” Luna said coolly.
Twilight swallowed, but did so. Starlight pushed herself up. “Please,” she said. “I'm so, so sorry, the power overwhelmed me and it really did feel like everything I was doing was right. Please forgive me.”
“You think after everything you did, you can get off that easily?” Celestia asked.
“Well... most bad guys do,” Starlight pointed out.
“Most,” Luna conceded. “Others get vaporized. Remember Sombra?”
“Oh, uh...”
“Or locked in Tartarus, like Tirek,” Celestia added.
“That's-”
“You didn't cause any permanent damage during your short rule, so if not for one little detail, we would just let you go. But you know what?” Luna grabbed Starlight's neck and yanked her close. “I simply will not let you get away with calling us bitches without punishment.”
“You did what?” Twilight shouted, outraged.
Starlight groaned. “Okay, I'll admit to being completely aware of what I was saying when I called you that, but-”
“But nothing!” Luna shook her roughly. “What do you have to say for yourself?”
“I'm... sorry?”
Luna stared at her. Then she promptly picked her up. “Sister, what do you think of about sixteen hours in the dungeon to make up for her transgressions?”
“I think that's perfect,” Celestia replied. She looked at Twilight and her friends. “Do any of you have any objections or suggestions?”
“We really shouldn't resort to corporal punishment,” Twilight said meekly.
“Screw that, she needs to learn her lesson,” Rainbow said harshly. “To the dungeons with her!”
“Hang her from her fetlocks!” Applejack suggested.
“Make her listen to Pinkie's yovidaphone practice!” Rarity said.
“I believe that would fall under cruel and unusual,” Fluttershy mused.
“Haha, you guys are hilarious,” Pinkie said good-naturedly.
“Find out what her favorite food is and then just sit in front of her and eat it without letting her have any,” Discord said.
“Hey, you're the one that decided to make me an alicorn!” Starlight shouted at him as she was dragged away. “This is your fault! You knew this would happen and you did it anyway, what's wrong with you?!”
He just smiled and waved.
“Well girls, thank you so much for your help,” Celestia said.
“Yes, if you need anything, don't hesitate to let us know,” Luna said. Then they were pulling Starlight out of the room and closing the door behind them.
Twilight sighed and sat down, rubbing her temples. “Wow. I don't even know what to say. I really thought I got Starlight past this kind of thing.”
“Well hey, you can lead a cow to water but ya can't make her drink,” Applejack said, patting her back. “At least things are back to normal, and Starlight should hopefully learn her lesson from a few hours in the dungeon.”
“I guess so.” Twilight looked at Discord. “Were you planning on her getting sent to the dungeon?”
“No, of course not,” he said. “I was planning on her getting beat up.”
“What's your problem?” Spike asked. “Why are you so against her?”
“I'm not against her, I very much hope that she continues her character development, but I wanted to give her a little test and she failed. She still can't handle any sort of huge responsibility and she went power hungry just like she did when Twilight let her be head mare of the school for a few days. Only she had alicorn magic to back her up. It's quite sad really.” Discord pretended to wipe a tear from his eye. The others just looked at him, and he admitted, “Okay, one day I walked in on her picking her nose and then she wiped it off on the bottom of a table and walked away and I was just disgusted and have been planning my vengeance ever since.”
There was a general consensus from everyone that that was a fair response.
“Well, this was all very exciting, but maybe ask before you do it again?” Fluttershy said.
“Of course. I've had my fun. So, did any of you learn anything besides Starlight can't be trusted?” Discord asked as they began walking out.
They discussed everything they had learned about life as a different race as they walked out, and in no time were joking and laughing about the whole experience, while also showing appreciation for each other's natural talents. A few of them had even discovered some new hobbies, such as Spike professing an interest in continuing to run and Rainbow wanting to go hang gliding again even though she could fly.
Discord was definitely going to have to do this again.
