Trouble In Klugetown

by Olakaan Peliik

Diplomacy For Scoundrels

Previous Chapter

It had only been a day since Tempest killed Mort, and I was already feeling cramped. I actually missed my rundown little apartment in the Kludgetown windmill. At least I was alone and had plenty of room to stretch out. As future Mayor to Kludgetown, I had to have a good rapport with the citizens. So I help mend wounds, settle disputes, and when Tempest was busy, stop fights.

However, besides all that, I had my own mission to complete. I had to go ask the hippogriffs for help; undoubtedly they had their own problems, but it couldn't hurt to ask, right? That’s what friends were for, right?

Oy. Going it on your own made life easier.

I was going with a dragon and a griffon who were supposed to be carrying me. How, you might ask? A stick with rope tied to it is how. I held onto the stick, my feet dangling, and they held the rope between them as we flew to Aris.

It was fucking terrifying! I held on for dear life as we made the thirty-minute flight over to Aris, trying not to look down. Every time I did, I’m pretty sure I lost one of my remaining lives.

“You okay down there, Capper?” the dragon asked. Every creature was calling him Grump, even though he wasn't grumpy. He was a stereotypical fire dragon, red scales with black scars from fighting, especially over his belly. I’m not gonna ask how he got those.

“Whatever you do, don't look down!” the griffon, Fitz, laughed. Black fur, brown feathers, and every bit the kid that he was acting like.

“Oh, shut it!” I yelled back, closing my eyes.

“Almost there, Capper!” Grump yelled.

He wasn't lying, thankfully. Soon enough I was on the ground at the bottom of mount Aris. I looked up at the winding path up the mountain. “You couldn’t take me up there?” I asked.

“I didn't want us to be perceived as a threat,” Grump admitted.

Good point. It’s not like a dragon and a griffon carrying an Abyssinian by a rope could be perceived as a threat. “Okay well, I don't really want to be back in the air. Nice day for a walk,” I shrugged.

As we hiked up the mountain path, we could see hippogriffs buzzing around the peak, carrying building supplies for rebuilding. They definitely seemed busy. Busy enough not to notice us.

When we got to the peak, we were stopped by a pair of guards, “Hold there! State your business,” one of them barked.

“My name is Capper of Kludgetown, the hero who helped take down the Storm King. I am here to request aid from her majesty,” I purred.

They glanced at each other. “Very well. I’ll take you to her. They stay here though,” the largest guard pointed to Grump and Fitz.

“Very well.” I nodded to my escorts. They nodded and found a rock to hang out on while they waited.

I followed the guard inside. Everywhere hippogriffs were moving materials, clearing away debris, and preparing to rebuild.

“The Storm King really did a number here, didn't he?” I asked. Well, observed, really.

“You’ll find not a single hippogriff here who sheds any tears for him,” the guard said rather cheerfully.

“Yeah, I imagine not,” I agreed.

We made our way to the palace of Queen Novo. It was heavily guarded, and yet seemed to be a happy and beautiful place despite its condition. When we entered, the queen was giving orders to a few of her subjects, telling them what had to be rebuilt now and what could wait. We waited at the entrance for her to finish.

The hippogriffs she was addressing bowed and left the chamber. Before she could become occupied by something else, the guard introduced me. “Here to see her Royal Highness Queen Novo, Capper of Kludgetown,” he declared and bowed to her highness.

I did the same as I entered. “Capper. This is a surprise. Figured you cats kept mainly to yourselves,” Queen Novo stated, raising an eyebrow..

"I have come to request aid." I started. "I realize you and your people are in the process of rebuilding and have little to spare. But my associates and I are trying to improve Kludgetown. The citizens we have freed from the mines need food and medicine, anything you can spare."

Queen Novo ruffled her wings. "So, you come over here when we’re clearly in the middle of rebuilding, when we’ve got enough on our plate already, and you want us to help a bunch of strangers?" she asked.

I gulped. “Not even for the ones who helped save you from the Storm King?” I put on my best purr, swishing my tail.

She sighed and rolled her eyes. “Who are these associates of yours?”

"Captain Celaeno will be clearing trade routes around Kludgetown, making trade possible for you with Equestria. And…" Crap, what was Tempest's real name again? "...the pony Fizzlepop Berrytwist is attempting to secure the streets of the city."

"You mean Tempest Shadow?" she growled.

Crap. "That was the name she used while in service to the Storm King, yes,” I thought fast. “But she’s on our side now. Totally cool and all that, I promise.”

"You would trust some creature who sold out her own kind?” Novo asked me, and I just stayed silent. “What are you to do if she decides to betray you and your partners?”

I forced myself to stand tall. Rule number one of selling something: be confident. “General Tempest was formerly Commander Tempest of The Storm King’s Fleet. This much is true,” I said. “The Storm King had lied and manipulated her to get what he wanted. Once he had revealed the truth, Tempest’s actions from that point led to the defeat of the Storm King, the restoration of the Princesses’ magic, and the return of your lands to you,” I said with resolve.

That seemed to work: she looked like she was actually thinking about it. “If she hadn’t tried to sacrifice herself, I daresay you wouldn’t be rebuilding Mount Aris today,” I added.

She suddenly fixed me with a glare. Oops: too far. “If you expect us to make nice to her you are sorely mistaken,” she stated.

“I doubt Tempest would expect you to,” I agreed. “But this isn’t about her. It’s about innocent creatures who are in pain, sick, and in need of your help.”

She huffed and was silent for a few seconds, then nodded as she made up her mind. “You will have your aid. But we aren’t doing this for free,” Novo stated.

“How much are you asking for your best medicine and enough food for a refugee camp?” I asked.

“It is known that Kludgetown is sitting on top of the largest gem and precious metal deposit in the world. I’d say two chests of said gems and gold would be a good start,” she said.

That did sound reasonable; best not tell them that Tempest was in charge of that pile of gems in the underground. “It’s a deal, Your Highness,” I said with a bow. “If there’s anything we can do for you in the future, we would be glad to assist.” I took a step back to leave.

Queen Novo cleared her throat, halting me in my tracks. “Now that you mention it…” She tapped her chin in thought. Uh-oh.

“There is a garrison of Storm Troops turned bandits encamped in a quarry where we used to get our stone,” she said. “Now we have to get it from a much farther location and of poorer quality. If you and your people could look into relieving them of their station, we would be real appreciative.”

“We will look into it once we are able,” I assured her.

“My guard who showed you in will take care of you,” Queen Novo waved me off. I exited before she thought of something else to ask for.

The guard who was escorting me did indeed lead me to a quartermaster, who was surprisingly willing to give us what we needed. Healing potions, seaweed bandages, tigerfish needles. Many odd looking medical supplies, but it was gonna be well worth it. Food too, dried fish for the meat eaters, and bundles of dried seaweed. Both would last a while.

“How are you gonna carry all this?” the Hippogriff in charge of the food asked me.

I looked over the multiple crates in front of me. Crap.


“So we go back and ask for a ship?” Fitz suggested.

“We don’t have an extra ship,” I reminded him.

“Wait for Captain Celano to get back?” Grump asked.

“Can’t wait,” I shrugged.

“What if…” Grump started, and hesitated.

“If it’s a bad idea, spit it out. I’m willing to consider it,” I told him. “Hell, that Trojan Cake was a bad idea, and it worked out.”

“Well, that garrison of Storm Troops you mentioned is bound to have a ship or two right?” Grump stated.

That was not just a bad idea; that was the worst idea I’ve ever heard in my life. “We can’t fight them all,” I pointed out.

“We don’t have to, we just need a ship,” he pointed out.

I had to admit, he had a point.

“I have an idea, but I need to see the quarry before I tell you,” he said with a mischievous grin that would’ve made a changeling proud.

“Alright, but whatever we do, we have to do it quick.” I turned to the guards that were still guarding the gate. “Hey, which way to that quarry the queen mentioned?”

The guard pointed southeast.

“Thanks.”


“This is a bad idea,” Fitz and I said in unison, glaring at Grump as he smiled. There were easily a hundred Storm Troops down in that quarry. Two large cargo airships and a small escort airship were docked at the bottom of the quarry. The troops seemed drunk and out of discipline, singing and shouting and brawling with one another, but there were still a lot of them.

“So…” Fitz started.

“What’s this master plan?” I finished.

“I wouldn’t call it a ‘master’ plan. But it’s a plan. You two can get a ship airborne right?” Grump asked.

“I know the basics yeah,” I answered. Fitz nodded.

“Okay, you two are gonna get over there by the escort ship…” Grump pointed to a clump of rocks near the boarding ramp to the small ship. “Once you are there, I am gonna create a convincing distraction so you can get aboard and get it airborne. Once you have a headstart I will follow. By the time they get these other two giants moving, we should be long gone.”

“This plan is not gonna work,” Fitz said bluntly.

“Why?” Grump asked confused.

“Because it’s cliche. No cliche plan ever works, except for the first time it works and that is usually in a book or something,” I deadpanned.

“These guys are no smarter than those rocks down there. Come on, where is your sense of adventure?” Grump asked, moving into position.

“Back at home,” I answered.

Fitz and I made our way around the quarry, slithering from rock to rock. Grump was right about these guys not being very bright; they even fell for the old “throw a rock so they go investigate the noise” trick. How did the Storm King manage to take over so many territories with goons like this?

Soon enough we were underneath the small ship waiting for the signal.

“He never told us what the signal was, did he?” I asked Fitz.

Fitz came to the same realization, then shrugged. “I have a feeling it’s gonna be big.”

Ten minutes passed in silence while we hid. Fitz finally grunted. “How long did he say we’d have to…”

BOOM! FWOOSH! CRACK! The sounds echoed off the quarry walls as the cargo ship farthest from us suddenly exploded, flames bursting from the cargo hold. The balloon caught fire and exploded a second time.

“Son of a bitch!” we exclaimed, scrambling as the guard that was guarding the smaller ship abandoned his post to help with the blaze.

Boarding the ship, I started hauling up the ramp as Fitz ran to haul up the anchor. Once that was done, Fitz ran down to the engine and started to throw coal into the fires by the shovelful, and I started to steer the ship out of the quarry as we rose.

I could hear roaring commotion below; sounded like Grump had revealed his presence. Specifically by setting several of those troops on fire, if those screams were anything to go by. Grump’s roars were almost playful sounding as he fought the troops off.

Fitz came back up, panting and covered in coal dust. “What else?”

“We run.” I pushed forward on the throttle and the propellers in the back roared to life, signaling our departure.

As we began to put the quarry behind us, there was a roar of pain, that was abruptly ended. Fitz and I peered off the back of the ship.

Grump lay on the ground in a puddle of his own blood. There with a good ten to twelve spears piercing his sides; the last spear had been thrust through his bottom jaw and into his head. The beasts left him there like a horrid display as they tried to get to the last ship.

“No!” Fitz screamed, and started to jump off the deck in a half-assed attempt to get revenge. Or kill himself.

I grabbed his tail and pulled him back on. "There's nothing we can do now." I pushed the throttle forward more, and we sped toward Aris.


Author's Note

I hope you enjoyed the first three installments. I will bring more to this story.

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