Visitors from another world!by xombiekillaChaptersChapter one: Four new roommates.Chapter two: Settling down in a familiar job!Chapter three: Trouble, pranks and punishment!Chapter four: A routine morning, a trip for sweetness, and a dash of danger.Chapter one: Four new roommates.Author's Note I there's anything here that you do not like or do not want to see... Now's your last chance to back out! But, if you're in the mood for a fetishy story and want to read this, you've come to the right place. Chapter one: Four new roommates. "No, Joe, for the last time, I won't cover up for you again. If I get one last write-up, I'm yesterday's toast!" Charlie looked at his coworker in mild annoyance or significance—depending on how you'd look. He worked at his office cubicle, processing data and crunching numbers for several banking systems and high-paying clients; he did not have a six-figure income, but certainly nothing shabby. "Oh, come on, I swear it won't come back to bite you this time. I need this one tiny favor from you, man. Then, I'll be out of your hair, promise." "That's what you said to me last time, man. The station manager said, one more complication, and I'm out of here." Charlie was trying to keep an eye on his work orders and pay attention to Joe simultaneously, which was arduous. "Seriously, dude, I need help catching up on my assignments for an important client I'm managing. Can't you do something to at least help me?" "It's not my fault you slack off too much when everybody else does their best for the company. And what I did before for you, every other time, made me late for a client, every single time. My service times go up, and I to get written up." Joe was a very persistent coworker regarding things he wanted, and he never took no for an answer! This persistence would have been trite and impressive had he not used it to take advantage of his team members. "My times will go up too, and it'll be your fault for not helping me! What do you have to say about that, Mr. Holier than thou?" Joe was one of those human beings that's easy to detest. Somebody who enjoys causing trouble for anyone else who doesn't like to do his work for him. The term lazy would have been generous if one were to try to describe him. "You know what, Joe? At this point, I'm finished trying to reason with you. I've never seen such a less worthwhile person in my entire life. Whether you consider this a monumental achievement or a major insult is no concern. Now, please let me get back to my job. Thank you!" 'Oh, I'll make sure you regret this decision, Charlie.' Charlie had a deep gut feeling that something terrible would happen. "Fine, have it your way then. I suppose that's what you get for trying to be polite and ask nicely." "Yeah, sure, that's nice, Joe. Now I need to get back to work." That horrible premonition of an unfortunate event was nagging away at Charlie. He just knew that Joe, being the snake he was, was up to something no good. "Hey, bro, try not to worry too much about that Joe guy. One of these days, he will get what he has coming to him. He who lives by the sword dies by the sword, as they say." Richard, now there was a guy that nobody could hate. He always knew how to lighten the atmosphere, bring a smile to everyone's faces, and be a good, down-to-earth guy. "Do you think he'll try something underhanded like he did with at least two other people whose actions have led to their termination?" Charlie was gingerly sipping on his coffee, chatting with Richard; he had to have been one of the only people at this tedious job whom Charlie could like and want to hang out with. Everybody else was like a box of chocolates, and you could never really tell what to expect from them: happy and pleasant to your face, then bitter and vengeful behind your back. I suppose that's just the cruel mistress of life, tugging everyone by the strings, compelling them to do awful things to others. "If you want the truth, I wouldn't put it past the son of a bitch." Richard had rarely been pissed off by anything, which was very difficult to do to him, and Joe has managed this feat several times. "Then why is he even still here? If he's causing all this trouble to his team." "The dude's a brown-noser, a kiss ass, and he'll do anything to beg for anything, a pathetic waste of life. Yet, he's a life all the same." "Unfortunately so." The door opened, and Joe walked in, wearing an oddly cheerful look. Something wasn't right with him; he was up to something, and he approached Charlie and Rich--glorious. "Hey everyone, what's going on here?" Joe walked in to greet them. "Nothing much, just killing time until our next shift," Charlie replied, standing beside Richard. "Yep, I'm doing the same thing as Charlie is. What can we do for you?" "Oh, nothing. I just wanted to check on a couple of my team players." 'Yeah, sure, check up on us. I'm certain that was your plan all along.' "What's that look for, Charlie? You don't seem too happy to see me." 'Gee, I wonder why that is, Joe.' "No, it's not that I'm not happy to see you. I didn't expect to see you walk up to me specifically when there are eight other people here currently, not including Richard and myself." "Now, could that be suspicion that I detect, Charlie?" "Nah, I think you think about things too much." "You sure about that?" "Charlie said that there's nothing wrong, okay Joe!" "Okay, then. I hope you two enjoy your break. I have some important stuff to wrap up. See you later." "Yeah... sure thing, Joe." Joe saluted them as he left the Break Room, and the door closed shortly after. "Yeah... Charlie, you might be in a bit of trouble here. What with Joe at work? Trouble always manages to pop up with him whenever he's around." "So, what do you think I should do then? The manager hates my guts for reasons I'll never fathom, and Joe's got him wrapped around his finger, using him like a puppet." "I honestly haven't a clue, but you better think of something quickly before Joe does something bad to you." "I'll have to go and check out my cubicle station. Joe was heading in that direction. I know he's up to something bad." "Don't we all? Well... godspeed, Charlie. Hopefully, you can get to your station before he does." "Aye. And Rich, for what it's worth, if I do not, for whatever reason, make it out of this, I just wanted you to know that you're the only one here that I could honestly respect and enjoy hanging around. You're one of a kind, mate. Thank you." "Not a problem, now get outta here before he does his business." "Sure thing." "Are you sure that this is going to work, Twilight?" Twilight was working on a machine capable of transporting matter across different dimensions. She was there with three other Alicorns like herself: a pink Alicorn named Cadence, a blue one named Luna, and a white one called Celestia. "I'm positive that it will, Cadence. I've double-checked everything, so everything should be for safe travel. All we have to do is turn this dial to the specific location of our choice, a strange dimension called Earth." "Well... okay then, Twi, so long as you've checked everything, I trust you!" Everyone entered the teleport pad, waiting for Twilight to set the coordinates on her dimension-bending machine. The location was selected for 'Planet Earth'. Twilight entered the teleport pad with the other princesses. The machine whirred to life, creating a cascade of flashing colors and buzzing noises. It started to blow up, sending them into their chosen dimension. The device, however, was totaled, and wasn't going to send them back. They fell through what appeared to be an endless harsh abyss of fast-moving energy, unable to control themselves as they were headed in one direction and one direction only. They screamed as the energy pulled their bodies, contorting and stretching them like a putty-like rubber until they reached their destination. "Oh crap, I hope I'm not too late to my station... that snake had better not have done anything to my work computer... and the hard drive is missing, perfect. Yup, he's been here, messing around with my stuff again. Now, I'll have to go to my manager and ask him where it is. I know that this is a horrible idea. I can feel it in my bones." Charlie had made it to his manager's office and knocked on the door, visibly shaken at his brazen yelling throughout the room he was in. The manager was always like this, even on his best days. It was just second nature to him. "H-hey, Mr. Mortimer, I have something that I need to discuss with you for a moment." "What!?! What do you want? Can't you see that I'm busy right now?" He yelled at the top of his lungs, an activity commonplace within this establishment. "This had better be important, and you'd better have a good excuse as to why you're talking to me and not working at your cubical." "That.. is an amusing story. I had left everything updated, turned off, and locked before I went on my coffee break. When I came back, my hard drive was missing. Why?" "Well, how should I know why? It's your job to ensure you keep track of your equipment, not mine." This was usually his response to everything: the printer was empty and needed to be filled, and no paper was left to use. " Oh well, that should have already been done." A part was missing and needed to be replaced. "Hey, it's your job to make sure that gets done." As for any arguments leading towards conflicts, "Nope, that's not my problem. Now deal with it and get back to work!" Mortimer was seriously an apathetic piece of work, alright. He couldn't even be bothered to do his job, let alone monitor and track his employees. This was one of the biggest reasons Joe had always managed to get away with everything. "But now, how am I going to do my required work, as per the contract I had signed with this company, under your authorization?" "Oh well, that's not my problem." He gave a snide expression that said, 'You're busted.' "Now, as I recall, one of the clauses of your agreement was never to let your station get sabotaged, damaged, or tampered with in any capacity when not in use. Now, what would you call that, Mr. Charlie?" "All of the above, sir!" "Yes, you're not as dull as you look. I also recall warning you multiple times of complications similar to this, yes?" Then, as if things couldn't get any worse, Joe walks in to talk with Mortimer, holding onto MY hard drive. "Hey Joe, that's my hard drive. I knew you were up to something shady!" "What? No... I don't know what you're talking about, Charlie. Back me up, won't you, Morty!" "It's Mortimer, Joe!" "Right, right, excuse me. But what would I have gained by taking something that didn't belong to me? Hmm, Charlie?" This was also typical of Joe: compulsive lying mixed with feigning innocence and always playing his 'victim card' whenever and wherever possible. "Why would I try to take down my team players deliberately? That's not a very nice thing to do to anyone! Now is it, Mr. Holier than thou?" "Mr. Mortimer, why do you regard this guy so highly? Enlighten me, please!" "It's straightforward, Charlie. He does more work than anybody else here combined, and he honestly should be promoted to the employee of the month, not you." "What! But, sir, I don't know what to say. You shouldn't have." Joe was wearing a fake smile and mocking humility. "That's a lie, and you know it. You're just doing this because he kisses up to you, and you like that. You couldn't even be bothered to check what happens outside your office ninety-five percent of the time. That, and for reasons I'll never understand, you've always had it out for me since my first job here." "Hey, Charlie! Watch it, or else your next destination will be the unemployment line. Do I make myself clear?" "You know what. I've dealt with this for over three years now, never getting any benefits, pay raises, or any recognition for any of my work, of which I have done a lot, not that you would know anything about that. I am done with this! You do not need to fire me, and I quit this literal hellhole." "And as for the both of you, do the rest of the unfortunate people and myself here a huge favor by taking a long walk over the steepest plateau you can find and never coming back from it! Good luck trying to find someone who'll work as much and as hard as I have or would do." This left Mortimer speechless for a while, and he never expected this from Charlie, the shyest pushover of the business. "H-How dare.. you..." "Do I need to repeat myself? I'll even go one step further by involving Human Resources; they will hear about this. And... for the cherry on top, I've also been recording everything that has happened since my first week. Do I make myself clear?" "Y-You're bluffing! I know you don't have all that evidence, and you're not smart enough!" "You think so, eh?" "Oh, dear... This doesn't affect me in any capacity, right Boss?" "You shut the fuck up! I've had it with you especially, Joe! Everybody bloody hates you, and do you know why?" Joe was staying silent throughout this, actually feeling fear, the possible fear of termination. "It's because you make it your ultimate objective, every day, to use and backstab everybody, then you've got the gall to call us all 'team players.'" "Okay, Charlie, you've made your point. I can give you a raise if you want it!" "Oh, NOW, you want to give me a raise? Fuck you and the horse you rode in on. Goodbye. Your next destination may very well be the unemployment line, like mine. And you too, Joe." "What!?! You can't be serious. What have I done to deserve that?" Yes, Joe seriously asked me this question. "Everything! Now, good day, gentlemen!" Once everything had been packed up, it was time to say my final goodbyes to this company and Richard. I pray blessings for him; he'll have to deal with these guys instead of me. Now, all that's left to do is to expose those two for what they've done over the three years I've known them. I walked back into the Break Room and saw Richard just about to leave. "Hey, man!" "So it finally happened, didn't it?" "Yes, it did, and I regret nothing. Because all my recorded evidence goes straight to HR, their worst nightmare." "Damn... that's cold, coming from you. Well, they deserve what they're going to get." "Yes, sir!" "Goodbye, everybody!" Were they cheering for me? That was strange. They were all happy to see Joe and Mortimer finally get their desserts. I can't say I blame them for all the considerable trouble they've caused everyone. I then left and headed for the Human Resources Department. Once I arrived there, the first person I wanted to see was the HR supervisor, who overshadowed everything within the company. Not much went in or out of that business without him knowing. "Hey there, Steve!" "I heard about your little outburst. Would you mind telling me about your side before I pass judgment?" "Hey Steve, just so you don't get the wrong idea, you're familiar with Mortimer and Joe, right?" "I am, and I seemed to recall warning them about their antics, but because it's part of my job, I have to ask what happened." "Have you ever dealt with them for over three years?" "No... I have not!" "Trust me, when you've had to deal with every single transgression from those two, being their metaphorical punching bag every single day working, I'd like to think that three years is enough, wouldn't you agree?" "Three years... is just torture. I'll have a stern talk with them. I warned them of what would happen, and they did not listen. Thank you for bringing this to my attention." "That's not a problem. Here's a copy of the evidence, too, in case you haven't received it yet." "Thanks. I'll keep this for the records. This is all the evidence I need; disgusting is an understatement." "Well then, I'll leave you to it then." "And I would also like to speak with you if you wouldn't mind." "Not at all! I'll go out and wait!" "Thank you very much, Charlie. Steve, Mortimer, and Joe all sat in Steve's office. They were very nervous because they knew what they were there for. "Alright, you two, you know why you're here?" "Yes!" they both said in unison, heads tilted down in shame. "How do you explain this, then?" Steve showed them the documented folder containing three years' worth of undeniable evidence against them, to which they both cringed at the sight of it. "This is very unacceptable and unprofessional behavior from you two, And I recall giving the both of you multiple admonishments for this!" "W-Well, for all you know, those could have been easily fabricated, falsified, or forged together to eliminate us!" "Yeah, What Mortimer said." "Now, guys, I can guarantee that my folder is legitimate. Before I pass my judgment, what do you two have to say for yourselves?" "We're sorry about what we did!" they both said together, making every last-ditch effort to grovel for mercy. Steve was not at all amused by their antics or their begging. He was done with them. "That's what you both told me every time I addressed this issue. Now, I have run out of both mercy and patience. I'm afraid that I'll have to let you go." "WHAT!?!" They both yelled out! "Did I stutter? You two are through, done, fired. Get out of my office before you are escorted out by force." "And I'll be watching to make sure that you do. I also have somebody outside who's waiting to meet with me." "B-but y-you can't do this to us. We've done so much for this company, and you need us! Both myself and Joe over here!" "Y-yes, p-please reconsider this decision. We promise to be better, honest!" "No means no, and that's that! You two have had multiple chances to clean up your act, and you've blown every chance I gave you. Now move!" Meanwhile, in the waiting lobby, Charlie patiently waited for Steve to be finished with Mortimer and Joe. Then he sees Steve's door opening and the three walking out. Mortimer and Joe had forlorn looks of defeat plastered over their faces until Mortimer looked up and saw me waving at them cheerfully. This made his blood boil because now he knew who to yell at, yours truly. "YOU! This is all your fault! You did this to us!" "Well, hello there, Morty! Lovely day we're having, wouldn't you agree?" I knew this would piss him off, and I'm not sorry. "IT'S MORTMIER, YOU INGRATE! MORT-I-MER, GET IT RIGHT!" "Look at what you've done to us; I hope you're happy with yourself! Oh, who am I kidding? Of course, you are! Mr. Holier than thou!" "Shut up, you two, and get out of here! Security, I may need some help with ol' Morty here! He's acting a bit belligerent!" "Yeah! You tell them, Steve!" "Don't encourage them, okay?" "Right, excuse me, kinda hard not to after what they did to me." "EXCUSE ME! AFTER WHAT WE DID TO YOU? YOU INSUFFERABLE, IRKSOME BRAT!" "Yeah, you just completely ended both of our careers, and now you've got the gall to blame us for what you did!" "I guess it was me after all, hehe... oopsie, daisy!" I told them, while mocking innocence, that their faces were priceless. "RRAAGGHHH! I'M GONNA KILL THE SON OF A BITCH, I'LL KILL HIM!" "No! No, you will not! You two have a date with the front door. Now, please vacate our premises!" Security was pulling them to the front door, and Joe was more willing to leave than Mortimer was clinging onto the sides of the door's threshold, screaming at the top of his lungs, like he usually did. However, I gave him a legitimate reason to be angry this time instead of just being so. One good look at my snarky grin made the crazed man snap like a twig. You could swear that there was a bit of foam foaming at the mouth, his face red as an apple, veins bursting out of his facial contours, the complete, frothing angry works. "YOU ASSHOLES WON'T GET RID OF ME THAT EASILY! YOU'RE ALL USELESS, COWARDLY, BACKSTABBING MOTHERFUCKERS! I HOPE THAT EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU IS IN THIS ROOM. HELL, THIS ENTIRE ESTABLISHMENT ALL ROT AND BURN IN THE DEEPEST, DARKEST, FILTHIEST PIT OF THE NINTH CIRCLE OF HELL!" He was forced out of the front door, continuing to rage like the world's angriest rhino I've ever seen. The sight was beautiful. "Alright then, Charlie, now, if you would, I'd like to have a word with you!" "Alright, then, Steve, not a problem." Charlie then followed Steve back into his office. They both sat down, and Steve looked calm. "Oh, Charlie, you have no idea how badly I wanted to do that to them." "I hear you. So, what does this have to do with me now? I'm not employed here anymore, if you couldn't tell." "Is that how you'd wish to stay? I'm willing to offer you Mortimer's position if you want to take that." "...What did you just say?" "Take it or leave it. It's your choice, Charlie!" Steve was serious, and I would be the department's general manager when I quit. This was unexpected, that's for sure. "Oh, w-well, yes, I'll take that; thank you, Steve!" "Do you know why I feel you're ready for this position?" "Not entirely, Steve. Why?" "Because you were being polite, respectful, and honest with me. You had the willingness to address a problem that went on for far too long, more than it should have. And you did so professionally, and we need more of this in our company." "I-I have no words aside from thanking you, sir!" "Tomorrow, we'll have an introduction meeting regarding your newly acquired position. Congratulations on your accomplishment, Charlie." "Woah... my head feels like it went three rounds in with an angry manticore. Hey Celestia, Luna, Cadence, you girls alright?" "Yeah... oof, I'm fine, Twilight. My head hurts, but I'm fine otherwise, you Lulu?" "Yes, sister, just a bad headache, you Cadence?" "Yeah, girls, I'm a tough alicorn. I'll pull through!" "My machine must have failed at the last moment before we could get out of it so I could reset its settings. Oh no, no, no, no, no." Twilight panicked as the four princesses arrived at their destination, inside somebody's house, much to their immediate confusion. It wasn't very long until they heard a car pulling in, which got their attention. Someone, presumably the one who lived here, approached their front door. Uh oh, this isn't good, girls!" Charlie opened the front door, and in it came. He then closed his door and locked it, humming an upbeat tune. Then he turned around and saw the magical ponies looking at him, their eyes at a standstill. "What the..." "Um... hi there, I'm Twilight Sparkle. These are my friends: Cadence, Luna, and Celestia!" "I have to be imaging this, four sparkling horses..." "Ponies, that's what we're. We came from a faraway land called Equestria." Everyone except for Luna had bowed; Luna narrowed her eyes in mild suspicion. "And just who do you think you're locking us inside this room?" "This room would be my home, and I should be asking why you four are even here." "Oh, don't mind her... um, and you're?" "Charlie, Charlie franks. Go on." "Right then, Charlie. Luna can sometimes be a bit wary of new ponies. It's nothing personal, I assure you." "Then why is she glaring at me as if I had just murdered a child?" "You what!?!" "Shh. Luna. He wasn't speaking literally. Just relax, and everything will be fine, okay?" "Hmph! Fine, but don't expect a hug and a kiss from me, monkey boy." "Hey! Monkey boy! For your information, pony, you're one of the last creatures I'd ever want to kiss from. You'd probably give me a disease or something." Now Luna was triggered. She approached Charlie with a look of aggravation. "What did thous't say to me? You've got a lot of gall to compare me to a filthy rodent." "I do, don't I? I get that from many people, and the attitude comes with my nature." They both butted their heads together, glaring static at one another. "Is that a fact, Charlie? Okay then!" Luna then just gave a small peck on his right cheek, causing him to rub his cheek, and then a look of horror plastered his face. "Aahhh! If I get anything from you after this, please help me..." Charlie tried to wipe away the kiss on his cheek, and Luna gave a mocking glare in return. "Oh dear, we wouldn't want you to be catching your nothing. That would be such a tragedy, wouldn't it, ladies?" "S-Shut up; I'm just warning you, that's all!" "Oh, you're so terrifying after you've just been kissed upon your cheek like a little foal." "What!?! Why I ought to." "Enough, you two! Charlie, I hereby apologize for Luna's behavior. She tends to get antsy around others since we're in a completely foreign land--It's a work in progress." It seems Celestia was trying her best to diffuse the situation and doing an outstanding job of it. Luna and Charlie have quelled their ire for that moment, but Luna still glares at Charlie whenever possible. "Well, girls, I'm getting exhausted. Um, Charlie, would it be okay if we stayed here for a while since we technically don't have a way to get back home?" "And you said that your name was Twilight, yes?" "Mhmm! A pleasure to meet you." "Well, fine, but she needs to cool her jets, okay?" "What was that, monkey boy?" "You heard me! Either cool your jets or get out. It's your choice." Luna scoffed, swallowed her pride, and looked back at the Human with a look of defeat. "Fine, I will." "Hmm? You're being calm with me... that was unexpected. Well, thank you." "Yeah... sure thing!" "See, everypony can get along, and of course you... um." "Human, I'm a human, not a monkey." "Right then, a human. So then, where would we be sleeping then?" "I've got guest rooms in my house if you'd like that." "Ooh... it's like a hotel already. I love it, right, Twilight?" "Yup, it sure is Cadence. Charlie had then directed them down his hallway and towards his guest rooms. He had four guest rooms, including his room at the end of the hallway. "I call dibs on the room filled with books!" "Hey! Those books are valuable; be careful with them." "You don't need to worry about that, Charlie. Twilight loves books, and if there's anypony that will take care of books, it'll be here." "Ooh... I like the one with the pink walls, and I'll take this one; g'night, ladies!" "Night, Cadence. And you, Luna?" "I'll have the room with the dark blue walls, and I like the color blue." "And I suppose I'll take the room with the yellow ones. Thank you for this, Charlie. It was very generous of you." "Yeah, it's okay. Just get some sleep, guys, okay?" "Yep! We certainly will. Good night, Charlie." "Yeah... night, everybody." Charlie entered his room, went to bed, laid down, and instantly fell asleep from his hectic day. He was ready for the dawn of a new day to approach. Chapter two: Settling down in a familiar job!Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.Chapter three: Trouble, pranks and punishment!"Well, look who it is; it's the one that made us lose our jobs!" Mortimer glared at me. "Hey there, Charlie. Do you remember us? Yeah, you do!" Joe was also glaring at me. "Oh hey Morty, Joe." "It's Mortimer, you little bastard!" "So, guess what, Morty? I've got your position now; I love irony, don't you?" Mortimer was grating his teeth in seething frustration. "Um... Charlie, do you know who these two are?" Twilight looked at me. "Sadly, I do. These two made my life at work miserable for three years straight. They were also the reason why I had quit." Luna didn't know why, but she looked at Joe and saw that she had already hated his guts. She, however, felt indifferent towards Mortimer. "So I made a plan with my supervisor, Steve. Then, we got rid of them." "Do you know what you just did to us, Charlie? We've been blocked from being hired from any other location, period. You've ruined us!" "You've ruined yourselves; I did our company a favor by getting rid of you two. Everyone wanted you guys gone. And frankly, I can't say that I blame them, either." "So, you two are only here to cause trouble, huh?" Celestia glared at them. "Well, as much as we'd love to speak to your prostitutes, Charlie. We've come here for you, not them. We've got some unfinished business with you." "What did he just call us, Sister!?" Luna snapped her focus to her sister, then to Mortimer and Joe. "What's so wrong about speaking the truth? I call them as I see them. So what's that look for?" Mortimer had a devilish smirk. "T-Tia... can I please kick that guy in his jewels?" "No, Luna, you're already in a lot of trouble for being violent; I suggest not making things worse for yourself." "B-But Tia, you realize what he called us, right?" "Yes, Luna, I do." "The nerve of this pig!" Luna muttered to herself, looking over to her sister. "Calm down, Luna, please." "We are not harlots; we are princesses of our fair land." "What're you two bimbos yammering about over there? Don't interfere with this; it's none of your business." Mortimer sneered at the two princesses talking amongst themselves; they returned his sneer with a glare of their own. It took Luna everything, not just running over and tearing this man in half. "This is between Charlie and me; I've got nothing against you; let's keep it that way." Mortimer then focused his gaze back on Charlie. "Hey, you didn't have to talk to them like that! Is that how you treat all of the ladies you meet? It's no wonder you've remained single for so long." "Why you... of course I do if you want to know so badly. Women are useless for everything except for house chores and making babies." Mortimer glared at me as I did him. "They'll never be any more, nor any better." "You've got a lot of nerve, having that attitude. Very close-minded, selfish, and just plain nasty. You deserved what you got, and you know it deep down." "Only because you threw a wrench in my job, ruining my life. Then, to add insult to injury, it's the one human replacing me that I hate the most: you!" "W-What about me, boss?" "Shut up, Joe! Nobody's talking to you!" He briefly snapped his attention to his partner. "This is my vengeance, not yours. If I wanted your opinion, I would have asked for it." "Y-Yes, sir..." Joe tilted his head down dejectedly. 'Damn... this must be the first time that I'd feel bad for Joe.' Charlie was then focused back over to Mortimer. "You know what, Morty, I've had it up to here with you; if anybody deserved revenge, it was me, and you know it. I got that in the form of your dismissal." Continued his piercing glare, something Mortimer hadn't seen before from Charlie. "And before you correct me, as I know you would, I frankly could give less than a shit about your preferred name." "Y-You... b-bastard." "So take this as your only shot of mercy that you'll ever get from me and bugger off." "Y-You think you're a bunch of hot shit, do you?" "I can release Luna on you if you'd like; she's been very pissed off by what you said to them." Mortimer looked into her eyes and saw nothing but seething rage. "Y-You... haven't seen the last of me, mark my words, Charlie." "And mark mine; I'll be ready whenever you show your ugly face." Mortimer huffed as he turned around to walk away. "Come on, Joe. We're leaving!" "Yes, boss, I'm on my way." Celestia flicked her index finger, slinging some of her magic off it and onto Mortimer's head. The effect was immediate; his hair came to life and just hopped off of his head, and both guys were surprised at this sight. "W-What the fuck!? M-My hair!" "What's happening, boss?" "I have no idea, but go and get it now!" "Y-Yes, sir, right away, sir." Everyone, including Charlie, was laughing; even the other civilians around the park burst out laughing. "U-Um... Charlie, I feel I need to say something to you." "And that is, Luna?" "Thank you for standing up and defending us like that; it was lovely of you." "Meh, it's no problem. And I thought you guys weren't allowed to use magic... hmm?" With a smirk, Charlie looks to Celestia, who is trying to dodge eye contact. "My bad; I guess my finger just accidentally slipped." "Well, it's getting late, and the park is about to close soon; I think we should get going now." "That show was great, guys!" Twilight piped up as she happily looked over to Charlie. "Which one?" "Both of them!" "Ha, awesome. Let's head home, everyone!" "Sister... please, we do not wish to become like the pancakes you make so well." Everyone was back in their pony forms as Celestia dragged Luna into the room where she was staying. "Get it over with, Lulu. That's what I'd do if I were you." "I highly doubt you would..." "Well, I doubt you'd want to, but a punishment is a punishment." "P-Please, girls! Charlie! H-Help me..." Luna was holding onto the door frame as Celestia gave one last good tug, and she was pulled into her room. Then, the door was shut, and everyone could hear Luna's muffled whines through the walls and the door itself. "Oof, she's going to feel that in the morning." Cadence looked at us and smiled sadly. "Would you guys please tell me what you're so scared of? It can't honestly be that bad!" Just then, screams and crunches could be heard from outside her room. "Maybe you should retract that statement, huh?" Twilight looked at me with a raised brow for my answer. "W-What is she doing to her in there?" "S-Squishing her, Charlie. Squishing her with her butt!" Cadence looked sad and terrified at having to explain what Celestia was doing and being reminded of when it happened to her in Canterlot. "...Y-You're joking, right?" "Does it look like we're, Charlie?" "No, no, it doesn't." "Thank you." Cadence looked at you, slightly blushing. "H-Hey, remember when we snuggled earlier today? I-I was wondering if you'd want to hug me?" She brightly smiled at Charlie, who was nervous. "B-But... I-I'm not one for intimate physical contact, sorry." "Yeah, I know that; I was asking. For... you know, reasons." "It's alright, Cadence; maybe if I were more open to you, I just have a personal no-touching rule in place." "Hey guys, put your ear against the door; I swear you could hear what they're saying." Twilight was pressing her head up against the door. "Twilight, why would you be interested in hearing Luna cry?" Cadence looked rather annoyed. "Well... um, I don't know. I'm just that curious, I suppose." "Dear me, sister, y-your flanks are so h-heavy... g-get off!" Luna was pounding her hooves onto the floor; the scene almost looked adorable; Luna looked like a small child throwing tantrums. "No, Luna, you need to learn your lesson, I tried to be nice to you, but you forced me to use my butt." Celestia wiggled her ass, creating small crunching noises and groans from Luna underneath her. "I told you multiple times to behave here, and you have not." "P-Please, Tia, I'll improve; I swear I will. I'm sorry for being mean, honest!" Luna was in tears at this point. "And by Faustia's cosmic mane, you need a bath, Tia. Y-Your butt stinks, arugh!" Luna was trying to plug up her nose with her hooves. "Oh, well, I do apologize, Luna. I suppose I never got the chance to bathe since we arrived here; I hope that isn't too much for the mighty princess of the night." "N-Nay sister, it s-shall not. But it's solid." Celestia then began to bounce her massive flanks lightly onto Luna's body. Her heavy sides made small crunching sounds, causing Luna to groan in frustration and defeat, knowing there was no way to beat her sister's ass; it was simply impossible. So she resigned to being Celestia's forced butt cushion, much to her dismay. "Do you remember when we last did this? You were serving your time from being Nightmare Moon, and I squished her evil out of you. Goodness, that felt nice." "Y-Yes... I do r-recall, sister." Celestia went from bouncing to slowly smearing her butt all over the squashed night princess. "Ergh... t-that hurts, sister... s-stop it!" "I'll stop once I'm satisfied you've learned your lesson." "Oh gees, I can only imagine what she's feeling there." Charlie looked over to the other girls. "We can't." Cadence looked back to Charlie, then to Twilight. "Yeah, Cadence, it's horrible. Once you've spent at least one night under that ass, you'll never want to be evil or misbehave again." "So, how'd you two get that punishment anyway?" "Well, for me, I tried to prank Celestia by spiking her cake with laxatives, and that just made everything worse for the rest of that night." Twilight shuddered, then looked at both of us. "And me, I told a joke that offended her badly. And Celestia, as you may have noticed already, doesn't have very thick skin." "Yeah, I've seen her get mad pretty quickly for someone who's supposed to be very patient, gentle, and graceful." "Shh... don't let her hear you; let Luna serve as an example; you do not want to cross Celestia." Twilight looked at Charlie with genuine concern. "Yeah, alright, I won't make her cranky!" Charlie couldn't take this seriously. Was I using your butt as a way to punish someone? It was unbelievable, ridiculous even. "You should take this more seriously, you know. We're not kidding when we say you do not want to end up under her butt." Cadence looked at me with a severe expression. "Okay, sister! I've learned my lesson, p-please... no more..." Luna was crying from both the smell and the weight. "Are you sure, Luna? You promise to behave?" "YES! Y-Yes, I promise, p-please let me go, Tia." "If you're sure, then okay. I'll let you off easy this time. I do not want to have to do this again, okay?" "Okay, I understand. Thank you." Luna weakly got back up on her hooves and entered the hallway. She was letting the door close on her way out. "Let's just hope that you follow through with your words." Luna opened Celestia's door and came out; Twilight was beside her. Her nose wrinkled at the sharp smell of Celestia's plot over the night princess. "Eww... Luna, you need a bath!" "Please, Twilight, don't start with me." Luna slowly and tiredly shuffled into the bathroom to wash up. "After I get done, I'm retiring into my room, and that's that." She then closed the bathroom door and turned the showers on. "So guys, I guess Celestia is staying in there then?" Twilight looked at everybody else as her door opened, and out popped the head of the sun princess. "Hello, everypony, you'll have to forgive me; I'm not usually like this, even if Luna would be quick to disagree." "It's okay, Celestia, we understand; I just hope Luna will be okay." "She'll be fine, Twilight. My sister is a tough cookie; she'll pull through." "Yeah, I know; I just worry about her sometimes, you know?" Twilight tilted her head down, a look of concern on her face. "Well, if she behaves, she won't get squished under me—that's simplicity itself. I do not enjoy punishing her, but I will if I have to." "Yeah, I know, Celestia. Why does she have to be like this?" "It's probably a phase; she's also not one who can easily trust others, especially if she's never really known them. I understand where she's coming from, but I still have to do my job and keep her in line." "I understand, Celestia." "Great. After Luna is done, I need to wash up, and then I'm hitting the hay." "Yeah, I'm also getting a bit tired; Cadence and I will get ours after you, Celestia. So Charlie, read up on any good books lately?" "Well, I'm not much of a reader; it's not my thing." Twilight made a pouty face at that remark. "Aww, come on, no books whatsoever? Then how do you explain the ones in the room I'm staying in?" "There used to be other people who lived here with me; that's all you'll get out of me until I get to know you better; nothing personal." "It's okay, I understand; it's personal information and probably unpleasant too." "Indeed." "Well, I'll have to get to work starting in the morning; just a little heads-up to everybody here. Otherwise, you're free to do whatever you want here, so long as you don't cause any trouble." "Not with Celestia around; you won't have to worry about that," Twilight replied with a gentle smile. Luna opened the door, using a towel to dry off and magic to pop the joints in her back, some from Celestia's butt bashing earlier. "Ahh... that's much better, man, that hurt, and it stunk like ass. Oh, sister, I didn't know you were right up against the bathroom door." "Luna, you're not up to any mischief, right?" "I just got out of the shower, Tia. I'm going to retire, and that's final." "Okay, Lulu, you go and do that. I hope you didn't use up all of the hot water." "It'll be fine, Tia; just get your shower, okay?" "Okay then, Luna, I will; good Night." "Yes, good night, dear sister, same to you, everypony, and Charlie." Luna went into her room and closed her door; she went to sleep as Celestia entered the bathroom for her shower. "I'll take just a few minutes, everypony, then you can go in, Cadence." "Alright then, Auntie." The bathroom door opened as Celestia stepped out. "Oh, that's so much better. Okay, then, I'm off to sleep; good night, everypony and Charlie." Celestia finished, and then Cadence walked in to take her shower. "I'll try not to be too long, okay?" Cadence closed the door as she turned on the water. "Then me, Charlie. Man, it'll feel good to get clean." Twilight was lightly hopping in place as she waited. "You guys better not use all the hot water there." Twilight just stuck out her tongue at me as we waited for Cadence to be finished. "Hey! Why you little." "You know, I think I can see why Luna enjoys poking around with you; your reactions are funny." "Oh, hardy har har. Fine then, I can't wait for my turn." Cadence was finally finished, and then it was Twilight's turn to take her shower. "Well, I'll try to leave some for you, Charlie?" Twilight stepped in to take her shower as Cadence walked out. "Oh man, does that feel nice? See you in the morning; good night." Cadence cheerfully walked into her room and closed her door to go to sleep. "Oh goodie, now it's my turn to get clean. I've been waiting for this all day." Twilight walked into the bathroom to get into the shower to wash; Charlie was almost getting impatient. He wasn't used to waiting on more than just himself at home. After about five minutes, Twilight came out, smelling like fresh lavender. "Oh man, it feels so much better to be clean." "Is there still hot water left?" "Yeah, yeah, there is. Don't worry, Charlie." Twilight looked back at me and yawned. "But this pony needs some sleep; good night." "Yeah... sure." Charlie finally went in to take his shower... After about five minutes, the water went cold on him, and he shrieked. "T-Twilight... I swear I'll get you for this." He, of course, didn't say it loud enough for anypony else to hear it. Morning rolled around, and everypony walked out except for Luna, who eventually came out after sleeping in for a bit. "Morning, Charlie! Headed off to work, huh?" Celestia looked as upbeat and cheerful as ever this morning. "Y-Yeah, I am. I'm starting my very first day back in the same building. I wonder what everyone there would think?" "I'm sure everything will be fine; try not to worry, okay?" Celestia had that warm and motherly look on her face, the kind of look that was impossible not to love. "We'll hold down the fort while you're away." "Yeah, thanks, Celestia." I nodded to her respectfully before I walked out to begin my first day. "Hey Celestia, you don't suppose that I could have your help with something?" Twilight approached Celestia, waiting for her response. "Twilight. So what do you need me to do?" "I need to borrow some of your magic to power up this solar battery. I'm thinking of a way to bridge magical communications between this world and ours." "Certainly, Twilight. It's worth a try. Now, try not to look directly at my horn." Her horn flashed brightly as a concentrated beam of solar magic juiced up the battery very quickly. "Did that work?" "It sure looks like it; let's put it into my device and find out." Twilight placed the battery into her communications beacon device. It whirred to life, and the top of it was glowing. "Yes, this is incredible. Now, let's see if it can do more than just flashy." "Ooh, that does look pretty, Twilight. Hey, call my Shiny for me. I want to check on him and Flurry." Cadence missed them and wanted to say hi to them if nothing else, an understandable motive for somepony you love. "Sure. I need to set the coordinates to Equestria and then the Crystal Empire. Now, turn it on." Once it did, a holographic version of Cadence's Room appeared. "There's my room, Twilight. You're a genius." "Y-Yeah... thanks, Cadence. I wanted to think ahead before we left on our inter-dimensional vacation. In case something like this were to happen." Then to everypony's delight, Shining answered. "Hey there, is this thing on? Oh, hey, you guys. So you did make it out safely; what a relief." Shining looked at Twilight and Cadence. "So where is that place, huh?" "Some very nice human is letting us live with him. Isn't that great, Shiny?" "Well, at least you're safe; that's what's great to me." Then Flurry Heart showed up on the communication beam next to Shining. "Aww... hey there, Flurry. Mommy misses you so much." Flurry was happy to finally see her mother after it's been so long since they left. "Well, I've got work to help keep everypony calm and keep Flurry here happy. Thanks for checking in, Twily, Cadence; I'll see you around." Then Shining pushed a button on the device to turn it off, leaving the screen blank before Twilight did the same. "There he is; look who's back from the grave." A good friend of mine greeted me. "Richard! My man! Yeah, I'm back from the grave and ready to lead this company, or at least this extension of this company." Rich was a sight for sore eyes, to be sure. "Dude, you crazy bastard! You seriously managed to convince corporate to eliminate Mortimer and Joe. How'd you do it?" "Well, as it turned out, even they were sick of their antics. Now they got blocked from being hired in this line of occupation, ever." "Aw yeah, sweet justice. You did good, man. I'm happy to call you the general manager. Everybody here is." As Richard said, everybody cheered for me and my accomplishment. "Yeah, thanks, guys. This means a lot to me, more than most could probably realize. As the new manager, I promise to be the best I can be for everybody here." "I can't believe this, Joe. Look at him, all righteous and smug, usurping my position underhandedly. How could this have happened?" The troublesome duo was watching Charlie from the outside window in the breakroom. "I don't know, boss. But do we have to stalk him seriously during his job? Hell, even I can admit that's creepy." "Of course, this is a necessary evil, just so we can plan, Joe." As Mortimer said, a guard was approaching them. "Hey, you! Didn't I already kick you two off of these premises? Either vacate this property or else." "Or else what, Dingbat? Yes, you always hated that nickname, didn't you?" Mortimer had a snarky look on his face. "Don't make me have to page for reinforcements, Morty. Cause if I have to, I will." "How often do I have to say the same thing to everybody? It's Mortimer. It's not a hard name to remember." "Yeah, tell that to someone who cares, Morty. My job is to keep trespassers like yourselves from being here." "Why, you little, tiny-brained whelp! You're lucky that I'm in a charitable mood right now. I don't hate you like I do, Steve or Charlie. Let's keep it that way, okay?" The guard put his pager to his mouth and clicked the call button. "Yeah, Steve. You'll never guess who I found over here. Can you? You're not surprised, are you? I figured as much. So what do you suggest I should do then? Alright, consider it done." he clicked the off button on his pager and glared at the troublesome duo before him. "Look, not that I particularly care about your conversation, but maybe we can work something out, Mitch? What do you say, old buddy, old pal?" Joe tried to be reasonable with him. "Yes! What Joe said, old buddy, an old pal of mine." Mortimer decided to push both Mitch's patience and his luck. Both were an exercise in futility. "Yeah, I don't think so, guys. It's time for you two to get out of here." He flashed his badge at them. "You realize I can get you in trouble with the law, right? I could arrest you two if I wanted." "Yeah, maybe we should listen to him, boss. Mitchel can be kind of scary when he wants to be." "Hmph! Today's your lucky day, Dingbat. I've got better things to do anyways." "Good. You're welcome to do them outside of this property. Now scram!" "Fine then, we've already got the location of his house anyway. Come on, Joe; we're leaving." "Right away, boss. Cya around, Mitch." They both did as they were told and left. "Well, that doesn't sound too good; I better warn Charlie about this; those two are always trouble." Mitchel made his way over to Charlie after ensuring that Mortimer and Joe were gone. Thankfully, they were. He knocked on his office door. "Hey, Charlie. I got to talk to you about something." "Sure thing, Mitch. Come on in." Once he sat down, he drank the cup of coffee he had in his hand before entering Charlie's office. "I just felt I should tell you that I ran into a couple of your 'friends,' those two troublemakers." "Really? What're they doing now?" "Well, Mortimer claims that he knows where you live." "Well, that's... not good." "If you want, I can help you to file a restraining order against them." "Well, I'm not worried they'll be too much trouble. Joe is practically harmless when he's not doing what Mortimer tells him to do. And Mortimer is usually all bark and no bite." "And you're confident they won't be too much trouble for you?" "I am; thank you for your concern." Charlie knew they were no match for four super-powered, magical ponies—especially Luna and her masterful art of groin-kicking. "Well then, if you ever change your mind, look me up. If it means striking those two down, I'll do anything to ruin their plans." "Yeah, thanks, Mitch. I will keep it in mind." Charlie dismissed the guard as he left the room to tend to his teammates. "Come on already, why does there always have to be a stupid brown toad in my way whenever I jump?" "Goombas." Celestia corrected Luna. "Right, whatever. They're the spawns of Tartarus." Luna picked up the controller and tried it again. Once the title screen popped back up, she pressed the load game button. Then, she began the first level. It wasn't long after that that the Jumpman died again. "First, it was the ugly brown toads, and now these snappers?" "Koopas." Celestia corrected her again. "Raghh... screw this game. Stupid Mario Brothers!" "And by giving up, this means I win, Luna." It was reasonably later in the day, and Charlie returned from work to see Luna in a rather pissy mood. "Hey guys, what's... what's wrong with her?" "She's just salty that she couldn't play a video game. We have them in our world, but they are way more interesting. And this is coming from somepony that doesn't play video games. How do you humans do it?" "Well... I don't know; we do. Yeah, I used to play that console when I was younger. Those were the days. Beautiful nostalgia." "I must say, you humans know how to impress despite your lack of magic. Your creativity more than makes up for that." "I didn't know you even had video games in your world. What're they like?" "They are nothing like these; they're primitive in concept. I suppose they didn't have enough time to improve on them in my world." "Man, that sounds like it sucks." "Indeed. What's a ruler to do whenever they get too bored?" "Right, you guys are legit royalty in your world; I nearly forgot about that." Charlie and Celestia saw Luna sulking in the corner, perhaps trying to drown her shame of losing. "Luna. Please, come over here; it's not that bad." "It is, too, sister. Those ugly creatures are the bane of my existence." "We can play a different game to help you feel better. How about... this one." Celestia pulled out a different one. "Tetris? Sounds interesting." "Alright then, sure." Luna sat down with Celestia, and they both played a few rounds. "Hey Charlie, what is this incredible device?" "Oh hey, Cadence, that's a cell phone. More specifically, a smartphone." "Fascinating. So what does it do? Besides, make and receive calls." "Why don't you play with it to find out?" There was a gentle tug on his shirt. He looked and saw Twilight with a book in her hooves. "Oh hey there, bookhorse. What's up?" "I wanted to know more about these computers in your world. This book states that there are several types of them." "Oh, you found my guidebook to better technology, huh? Yeah, a computer is an incredible device that allows infinite knowledge." Twilight's face brightened up upon hearing this. "Holy moly, this world is fantastic. Where can I find one of these computers?" "In my room. I have a tower. But maybe tomorrow. It is late, after all." Twilight yawned and eventually agreed. "Yeah, it is. Okay then, I'll check this out in the morning after breakfast. I do need sleep; goodnight, Charlie." Then, to his major shock, she just kissed him on his right cheek and happily shuffled to her room to go to bed. "Y-Yeah... goodnight." He rubbed his cheek, blushing a bit before he shook it off. "Hey, you guys going to bed soon or what?" "Yeah, I'm about to. Goodnight, everypony, Charlie." Cadence made it to her room to sleep. "If you'd allow it, we'd like to stay up longer." Luna pleaded to Charlie. "Fine, you and Celestia can, but try to keep it down, okay?" "Thanks, Charlie." Luna gave him a genuine smile, something he had never seen on her face before; it was a pleasant change. "Sure, goodnight, everypony. God, it feels weird to say that." He went into his room to go to bed. Chapter four: A routine morning, a trip for sweetness, and a dash of danger.The following day arrived; Charlie woke up and went to the living room. What he saw was both priceless and adorable; Celestia and Luna were snuggled up to each other on the sofa where they were playing games. They were sound asleep, too. 'I shouldn't disturb them, but that might happen anyway.' They looked so adorable when they weren't angry. Just as I was about to make my way over to brew some coffee, Celestia's eyes popped open, now awake and aware of my presence. "Oh, good morning, Charlie! I just wanted to repeat my thanks for letting Luna, and I had some fun last night. It was very nice." Celestia, as always, looked like a ray of sunshine. No matter how hard you tried, being mad at that face was impossible. "Oh, it's fine; it's no worry at all. I was going to start some coffee. Do you want some?" "Mmm, sure. What flavor will it be this time?" "It's the one I got before coming home last night; on my way back from work, I visited the market." "What is it?" Celestia looked at the bag, anticipating what I was about to brew in the next few minutes. "Chocolate-mint espresso was a limited edition item, and I decided to get it." "That looks like it'll be yummy. I can't wait." She looks at her still-sleeping sister and grins. "At least I'll be able to taste it before she does." Celestia looked satisfied, knowing she'd have something to brag to her sister about. That was until Charlie turned the coffee machine on, and the smell flooded the room. This had dashed Celestia's hopes as the aroma had roused Luna from her slumber. "Mmm, that smells nice." Luna's eyes had opened; she cheerfully sat up from where she was sleeping, and her head jerked over to the coffee machine with a pleased smile. "Well, darn it. I guess we'll both be having some together. Then again, that doesn't seem too bad. I actually might like that." Celestia sighed in defeat but accepted it regardless. "Hey, Luna, why don't you join us for coffee?" "You don't need to ask me twice, Tia." Luna got up and hastily made her way to the dining table, with her cup in her magic as she set it down. "I am very thirsty for some of that good stuff." Cadence had woken up shortly after that. She was headed into the kitchen, guided by the aroma of fresh coffee. "Wow, that smells good. I hope you ladies weren't planning on having any without me because that would be very rude." Cadence looked at them in kind as they looked back at her. "Nope! Not at all." Celestia also wanted in on some coffee goodness, it seemed. Not that it could be helped; even Charlie could admit that coffee smelled delicious. "So Cadence, Twilight's still sleeping?" "Yes, I think so. She's been reading some books all night. I think that reading might be an unhealthy obsession for her." "You better be careful what you say around Twilight, Cadence. She'd go off on you if she heard what you said." "Yeah, I know. So is that coffee almost ready, Charlie? I, Luna, and Celestia are thirsty." "That's right, guys. It's almost ready to be served. So then, who wants both cream and sugar?" Celestia and Cadence both replied, "Yes, please!" Luna, on the other hand, didn't. "Just cream for me, no sugar." Luna usually preferred a bold taste over a sweet one. She sighed in bliss as she saw Charlie pouring coffee into the cups. This meant she would get it soon and couldn't wait much longer. "Please, Charlie. Can thous't hurry this along? I need it, now!" "Alright then, your highness, I'll get it to you right now, gees." "Was that mockery that I detect under your breath, Charlie?" He took a look at Celestia briefly. Then, Charlie looked back at Luna and grinned. "Maybe it was, maybe it wasn't." Luna took notice of that and gave him her smirk in return. "You better be careful about what you say around me, Charlie. Otherwise, I might have to do something about your attitude." Luna had a look on her face that said, 'I'm only joking with you.' "Ooh... I'm terrified; I'm quivering in fear, milady." Charlie playfully nudged her on her shoulder as they giggled, and he placed the cup of coffee in front of her. "Enjoy." "Oh, I definitely will." She took a big whiff of the coffee, and a rush of bold, chocolate-mint, and creamy goodness flooded her lungs, causing her to sigh in bliss before she took a sip. "It's like a drug, Charlie. It's... nice." Luna slumped in her chair with a look of pure happiness. "So, is the Highness satisfied?" "Totally." Luna was in her little world now. Everything and everyone else just disappeared, leaving her alone with her coffee. Charlie whistled and snapped his fingers to get her attention, but she was like a wall, with no reaction from her whatsoever. "Hey, Luna... you okay there?" Charlie waved his hand in her face... nothing. "There's no point in trying that, Charlie. Once my sister gets a true taste for something, you'll have no choice but to wait for her to be done with it." "I see, so then. How long would you estimate that, Celestia?" "Perhaps... longer than most ponies. My sister loves very few things in life. But if you get her that one thing she loves, she'll be your best friend." "Well, I suppose so long as she's happy, right?" Charlie looked over to Luna first, then back to Celestia. "Charlie, I have to ask you something; why did you accept us as you did? Not that I'm complaining, just curious." "Well, I-I don't know. I guess I'm just an accepting person. It's always nice to show kindness, you know." "Mmm, good answer." Celestia was beginning to like Charlie more and more the more they talked. "Well, it's a good thing I left Richard in charge of management in my absence; I told him I needed a sick day from work. So, I've all the time in the world right now." Charlie looked over to Celestia, who smiled warmly in return. "Well, that's just lovely, Charlie. But what would we do now?" "I thought I might as well get to know... e-everypony here a bit better. Ugh, I'll never be able to say that, and it not feel weird." "Well, that sounds nice. So then, no trip to the park, like last time?" "Nah. I think I can be here at home with all of you." Luna's sudden outburst had broken the ice between Celestia and Charlie. "Hey, Charlie! I'm out of coffee. Another round, please!" "Yeah, okay. I'll be right there." Charlie rushed over to take Luna's cup from her to fill it back up; she saw the stream of rich, hot coffee filling inside her cup. Just then, Luna began to sigh in bliss. "Verily, this divine bitter nectar is fit for the gods. Like us." Of course, Luna was in her little world but aware enough to call out for more coffee. "I'm sure. It's nice that you're feeling better, Luna." Charlie looked at her briefly as he saw her bright and happy face. It was official; this was better than how she felt and acted. Then, Cadence approached Charlie, bumping her snout on his left thigh to get his attention. Charlie looked at her to see her have the cutest "give me something" look he'd ever seen. "Yes, what is it, Cadence?" "Well... Charlie. I wondered if you'd want to go to the store with me to buy some delicious cinnamon sticks. You know, the ones from that park we went to yesterday." Cadence was dead set on those sugary joy sticks; she wanted them badly. "Well... couldn't we just wait until the others finish breakfast first?" She whined at Charlie; she had intended to murder the poor man with her cuteness. Weaponized cuteness is the worst way to be snuffed out, for sure. "Please... pretty please, Charlie?" That look was killing him inside. "A-Alright then. Fine. We'll go now and then be right back, okay?" She hugged him tightly and squeed with glee. "Oh, thank you, Charlie. You're the best." Charlie just gave Celestia a 'please help me' look on his face, to which she just shrugged it off and giggled. "Alright then, we'll go out to the car. Cadence, get changed into a human, then meet me outside, okay?" "Alright then." She had a bubbly and happy look on her face right now. They went outside to get into the car; Charlie opened the door first to let her into the passenger seat. "So then, how many are we going to get?" "Maybe just one." Charlie was teasing her, but that pouting she gave him was murder on his conscience. "Okay. We'll get more than one if you drop that sappy look." Her face brightened up. "I'm beginning to hate that face now." "You're the best, Charlie." Charlie started the car, and they both went to the market to buy more cinnamon sticks. "Look at that, Joe. Charlie and that pink-haired slut of his made it into the market. You know, it does pay off to do your research and stakeout." "Yes, Mortimer. I understand." Joe was still hurt that he was only a tool to Mortimer and nothing more. But since he doesn't know what else to do, he resigns himself to enduring himself and his selfishness. "Oh, come on, Joe. Wipe that sappy look off your face before I go and do it myself!" He did his best to try to look a bit happier. "That's a bit better, Joe." Mortimer then points over to the market entrance and huffs. "There, Joe. That palooka Charlie is on the move; let's tail them both and remember not to be noticed." "Yes, sir. Right away, sir!" They managed to make it to the entrance far from Cadence and Charlie. Once they entered, they kept their safe distance from them and tried to sabotage their day. "Hey, Charlie! Look at all of these wares! Wow!" Cadence was in shock and awe for some strange reason. "Why do you look so surprised? Haven't you seen a modern supermarket before? Don't they have those where you come from?" "Mm mm." Cadence shook her head. "Nope. Sure, we have markets and other various shops where I come from, but never anything like this." "Hmm... so you have no idea what you were expecting, huh?" "Well, depending on how you'd look at it, that's not necessarily an easy question for me to answer. I could say yes, but then I'd have to remember that this world is nothing like ours." "Touche. So then, where to, your highness?" Charlie was looking at Cadence, ready for her response. "Oh, come on, Charlie. You know exactly why we came in here. Those heavenly cinnamon sticks." Cadence was practically drooling at the thought of them. "Churros. That's what they're called." "So that's the name of those lovely cinnamon sticks, huh? Whoever invented that was a bucking genius." Cadence looked like she was on a hunt; those sugary churros were the quarry, and she was the predator. "So you're telling me nothing in your world has compared to these things?" "Nope. The cakes that Celestia likes, I don't. And those pies that Luna eats, I rarely eat. Twilight hardly eats any sweets at all. But once my lips had touched those sticks... I then knew love at first bite." "You're obsessed over them. And these things aren't even that expensive. I'd imagine that a princess like yourself would have better tastes than for a snack fit for a pauper." "Then buying more than one shouldn't be a problem for you." "I hate you sometimes; you know that?" "Thank you for getting them for me, Charlie." Cadence's victorious look said, "I won," as she giggled and skipped to the candy and sweets aisle. Charlie huffed in annoyance as he resigned to her demands. "Okay, Joe, they're heading down the Candy and sweets aisle. You got the firecrackers ready?" "They're right here, boss. So then, how do you want me to use them?" "You see that open space on the opposite side of the aisle they're on?" "I do." "That open space right at the top shelf should work out nicely. The explosion would cause everything on their side to collapse over them, burying them underneath a lot of weight." "But, sir, wouldn't that be potentially life-threatening for them?" "Don't question me, Joe. Just do it!" "Y-Yes, sir, right away, sir." Joe did as he was told and ran ahead of Cadence and Charlie, making sure not to get caught by them as he positioned himself at the location, set the pack of firecrackers on the top shelf, and waited for Mortimer's cue. After he gave Joe the thumbs-up, signaling to go for it, he lit the match and struck the wick as it ignited the fuse to the firework, making a very loud whizzing and popping noise. Just then, Joe tried to run but tripped and fell onto the floor as the explosion went off and caught everyone by surprise. "Joe, you dumbass." Mortimer huffed under his breath as he saw the display going down. The first few rows of stocked bags of sugar, flour, starch, and other heavy containers and bags have fallen. They were aimed right at Charlie and Cadence as Charlie saw her shocked face. "Look out!" Charlie pushed Cadence out of the way as one bag of flour hit her back, making her yelp in pain, but she was otherwise fine. Charlie, however, was nearly in a lot of trouble; only his leg was pinned under a lot of weight, and his ankle was likely sprained. "Charlie!? Are you okay? Can you stand up?" "Yes, Cadence, I'm fine. What the hell just happened?" "I don't know, but it scared the crap out of me." Cadence managed to stand upright as Joe did, and they saw each other from the gap between both aisles; Joe had a box of matches in his right hand and had a very guilty look adorning his face. With a scowl, Cadence recognized him from the park yesterday. "Hey! It's you again! I remember you from that trip to the park we had yesterday. Where's that creepy balding guy that was with you?" "U-Um, his name is M-Mortimer, miss. He's meticulous about that." Joe sheepishly gazed into Cadence's angry face. "Damn, she looks cute when she's pissed off." "Like I care about what he finds more comfortable for himself. You two nearly killed us; why I ought to." Cadence quickly got up and had an enraged, fiery pink aura around her; it scared both Charlie and Joe. Joe gulped in fear as he got up and ran for it. "It's time to amscray on out of here, Mortimer. We've been compromised! Euaghhh!" Joe panicked as he began to run away toward Mortimer. "W-What the--No! Joe, you idiot, you're leading that harlot right over to us!" "WHAT DID YOU CALL ME!?" Cadence said in a nearly demonic tone out of sheer anger. "U-Um... b-boss, I think you made her even angrier." Both Joe and Mortimer had made a mad dash for the exit as Cadence was right onto their tails; with her enraged motivation, she was gradually catching up to them. "T-This is not how we had planned this out, is it?" "No. You don't say, Joe! Just keep running!" Both were right up to the exit door, and Cadence was too. "Well, Joe, there comes the point where one must take one for the team to prevail. You'll thank me for this later." "W-What do you mean, boss- aaughh!?" Mortimer pushed Joe right into Cadence as he left the store unharmed. "No! Please don't leave me with her, boss! Please..." Then Cadence grabbed Joe by the back of his collar and dragged him over to a stand where the paddles were kept and found a wooden one with small hollowed-out holes, the kind that would hurt like a bitch to get hit with. "W-What are you gonna do to me?" "Giving you what you deserve, you little shit! I'm going to tan your hide, old-fashioned style!" This threat had caused Joe's pupils to shrink to pinpricks as he screamed in terror and struggled as he managed to pull himself away from Cadence's grip. He ran to the door right as it was about to close. Cadence managed to block the revolving door with a wooden supply barrel by propping it between the center of the two doors, preventing them from closing, trapping poor Joe halfway in and out of the store. His legs were wiggling, and his ass was sticking out on Cadence's side as she prepped the wooden paddle. "No! No, no, no, no, no! I don't want this to happen to me. Mortimer, help me!" "Consider this as a learning experience for you, Joe. You'll learn to be much more cautious next time." Joe's face had turned ghost-white as he silently prayed for a miracle. The paddle was coming in hot as it made contact with Joe's backside. KA-SLAP!!! The sound equal to that of a gunshot was heard as Joe was in silent agony for that moment in his life; he felt actual pain beyond his darkest fears. Then it came out, his anguished screams. "Aaaughhh! Dear God almighty above! This hurts so badly!" "Nobody, and I mean nobody, gets in the way of me and my churros!" She slapped his ass with the paddle again, making it numb and sting badly. KA-SLAP!!! "I-I can't feel my ass or my legs... Mortimer! Help me out of this door!" "Well, Joe, my only regret now is that I didn't snatch a bag of popcorn while in there. This is the best amusement that I've had in years." "M-Mercy, boss. I'm begging you here." "Alright then, Joe. I'll bail you out of this, just this once. But after that, you'll be on your own, understand?" "Y-Yes, boss. Thank you." Joe's teary-eyed face met Mortimer's as he grabbed Joe's hands and pulled his body free right as Cadence went in for a third slap, hitting the door instead of her intended target. "Hey! You bring him right back over here, right now!" "Alright then. Watch it, you harlot. Stand back! I've got pepper spray, and I'm not afraid to use it, either." "Like that's going to save you two from me!" Then he sprayed it into her eyes as she was blinded and backed away. "Aauugghhh!" "That's right, you bitch. Back away, or else I'll do it again. Let's go, Joe!" Cadence was in a blind fury, unsure of what pepper spray was until now, and from this point onward, she will never forget it, either. Those two managed to slip away; this did not even please the loving princess. Charlie was hobbling over to her to calm her down. "Cadence? Cadence! It's alright now; you chased them off. Relax. Deep breaths!" "Arraaughh! I hate those two so badly! My eyes... they burn!" Charlie took out a rag and a water bottle to get the rag wet and then gently rubbed her eyes to clean them so she could at least see them move around. Then, he hugged her, and she began to feel better. "I know, Cadence. But it's over. Okay? You beat them. Now relax; I got you." Then, Cadence began sobbing and leaned her face into Charlie's left shoulder to cry. "Hey, Cadence, I'll buy you as many churros as you want, okay?" This seemed to satisfy her entirely as she began to feel better. "T-Thank you, Charlie." "Yeah, those two always cause trouble. But let's get those churros and head back so you can relax for the rest of the day." Meanwhile, Twilight was still sleeping in from some of her overnight reading; Luna had to jump onto this opportunity and draw a washable black marker on her face. While quietly giggling, she began with the classical curly mustache on Twilight; her goal was absolute perfection. Celestia watched from the open door leading out to the hallway while she sighed and shook her head, disregarding her sister's actions, knowing that they weren't dangerous, just irritating. "Twilight's going to have a field day with Luna this morning. Or at least, what's left of this morning, anyway." Twilight's nose began to twitch slightly as she was somewhat stirred, but then she went back to sleep, causing Luna to continue working on her face. After the curly mustache, she went for the goofy eyeliner and the smiley face on her right cheek, and then, she was finished as she exited Twilight's Room and made it back out to the Living Room where Celestia was waiting for her. "You're aware she'll be angry with you, right?" "Verily, dear sister. If anything, that's exactly what I'm counting on." "Ugh.. why does my face feel all funny?" Twilight got out of bed to wash up. She looked in the bathroom mirror and gasped. "AArugghh! My face! LUNA!" "Oh dear, Twilight was having such a peaceful morning, too." "Not anymore; she isn't." "You've still got that cruel streak in you, sis. I'd be more careful that Twilight doesn't consider vengeance against you." "Oh, come on, Tia. How mean could she possibly be?" "You're about to find out right now, Luna!" Twilight had burst into the Living Room to confront Luna. She leered at Luna with venom in her eyes. "I can't have at least five minutes of actual beauty sleep, can I?" "Five minutes.. more like thirty, Twilight." "Umm, Lulu. Not helping your case here." Celestia chided in. "You better believe it isn't. This ink better not be permanent, Luna." "Or else what, Twilight?" "Or else... I'll do something mean to you. I don't know what it is yet. But you'll be the first to know when I think about it. And I don't think you'll like it." "Ha! You do not frighten me, Twilight." "Oh.. is that so? We'll have to see about that, won't we? And you'll never see it coming, either." Twilight was then content with being patient and waiting for the right time to strike out at Luna. "I want the whole lot of them!" Cadence looked at the barrel filled with them and was drooling at seeing them. She took all of them and put them in the cart as she thoroughly cleaned the shelves. "Oh man.. this is going to be expensive, but I made a promise," Charlie muttered as he pushed the cart to check out. Just as he feared, they were costly. There must have been about fifty churros in there. Each one dashed up to three dollars. "That'll be one hundred and fifty dollars plus tax. Is paper or plastic good for you?" The clerk asked Charlie. "Plastic will be fine, thanks." Charlie opened his wallet to put his card into the scanner so it could withdraw the money and the food would be paid for. After the beeping and then the cha-ching, out came the receipt from the register, and then the food was bagged, and they were headed out. "Oh, hey. You guys aren't still mad about.. well, you know?" "We caught who was responsible on our camera feed, and we have determined that you and your friend here were not the ones that caused the incident. Therefore, no action will be taken. Have a wonderful day." The cashier bowed respectfully as he waved us goodbye, and we did the same. "Oh my... I'm going to have a churro party, all to myself." Cadence was eyeballing those churros like they were life to her. "You can't wait until after dinner, huh?" "Nope. I may snack on a couple.." Charlie and Cadence had returned home, and they both entered the house. Then Charlie closed the door as Cadence transformed back into her alicorn self. Celestia, Luna, and Twilight saw the giant bags filled with churros. "Um, Charlie? What're in those bags?" "Churros, Celestia. All of them are churros." "And where are Cadence's eyes red and sore? What happened out there?" "You don't want to know, Celestia." Celestia's eyes began to glint as she addressed him further. "Charlie! You will tell me what happened right this instant! If one of our beloved friends were ever harmed, I want to know about it." Celestia began to have an angry white aura around her that said, 'Don't fuck with me.' "Okay, alright. We were in a fight. Well, kinda." "Oh. I bet you Cadence kicked some serious flank out there." Luna interjected. 'Oh. you don't know the half of it, Luna.' Charlie glanced over to Luna. "Let's just say that nobody ever gets in the way of her churros." Charlie then fixed his gaze on Celestia and said. "She got pepper-sprayed in her eyes by both Mortimer and Joe. Well, Mortimer. Joe got his ass whipped in the revolving gate. That was funny." "Don't worry, my babies... momma's got you." Cadence was hugging the bags of her churros in an almost creepy fashion. "Oh yeah. Well, you better not spoil your appetite for dinner. There's supposed to be plenty for everyone." "Don't worry about it, Charlie. I'll be a good girl. I promise." "Yeah... sure." Cadence entered her room with all the churros and hummed a happy tune. "Alright, my pretties, it's just you, me, and all the time for us to spend together." Cadence began digging into all the churros, not showing any quarter to them. A few hours had passed, and it was now dinnertime. Cadence hasn't left her room in nearly four hours. "Hey, dinner's ready. Where's Cadence? Is she still in her room?" "Yep. I think she still is, Charlie." Twilight piped in. "Oh, you've got to be kidding me." Charlie went to check on Cadence; he opened her door and was shocked at the scene before him. "Oh, my god..." Cadence was lying on her bed as she burped out and groaned with a bloated belly filled with churros. "Ughh... too many sugary sticks. I picked a fight that I couldn't win.." "C-Cadence? You ate all of them, didn't you?" "Oh, dear. I can't watch this." Twilight left the room as Luna fell onto her back, laughing hysterically. "Luna! It's not nice to laugh at somepony else's expense." "I'm sorry, dear sister. But I guess she's living large now." Cadence's stomach gurgled, making her groan. "Please, Luna... no puns, not even the bad ones," Cadence whined from his full belly of sugary fried and twisted dough. "Luna, you're pushing your luck here. Now apologize to Cadence right now!" "Yes, dear sister. I shall do this at once." Luna approached Cadence. Unfortunately, she was facing Cadence's butt and had a light blush as she began apologizing. "Alright then, Cadence, I'm sorry-" Bbbrrpptthh! A gassy pink cloud of sulfuric gas hit her square in her face and blew back her mane as she gagged and reeled her head back. "Bleugh! I'm sorry that I insulted you. yuck, that reeks!" This caused Cadence to lightly blush as she saw Luna collapse onto the floor, gagging. "Oh, dear... I'm so sorry about that, Luna." "Hmm. Maybe that'll teach her not to be too mean. I guess her ending stunk." "Ugh. N-Not funny, Tia." "Oh, come one, that one was good, and you know it." "Well then. I guess it's safe to say you already had dinner, Cadence. I guess you'll have to sleep it all off." Charlie said with a sigh. "Unfortunately so, Charlie. You did warn her not to spoil her appetite, didn't you?" "Yes, but what's done is done. I hope everyone else here is hungry." Charlie looked at Cadence with pity. "I'm sorry, Cadence, but this'll have to be a lesson for you to learn." "Will you just get out of my room, please?" Cadence was very annoyed right now, especially with Luna and her antics. Everyone went to go and enjoy their dinner, and Cadence was left in her room to her wishes. "I hope you feel better, Cadence. Have a good night." Charlie said before he closed her door. And then he went to go and serve dinner to the other three and himself.
Chapter one: Four new roommates.Author's Note I there's anything here that you do not like or do not want to see... Now's your last chance to back out! But, if you're in the mood for a fetishy story and want to read this, you've come to the right place. Chapter one: Four new roommates. "No, Joe, for the last time, I won't cover up for you again. If I get one last write-up, I'm yesterday's toast!" Charlie looked at his coworker in mild annoyance or significance—depending on how you'd look. He worked at his office cubicle, processing data and crunching numbers for several banking systems and high-paying clients; he did not have a six-figure income, but certainly nothing shabby. "Oh, come on, I swear it won't come back to bite you this time. I need this one tiny favor from you, man. Then, I'll be out of your hair, promise." "That's what you said to me last time, man. The station manager said, one more complication, and I'm out of here." Charlie was trying to keep an eye on his work orders and pay attention to Joe simultaneously, which was arduous. "Seriously, dude, I need help catching up on my assignments for an important client I'm managing. Can't you do something to at least help me?" "It's not my fault you slack off too much when everybody else does their best for the company. And what I did before for you, every other time, made me late for a client, every single time. My service times go up, and I to get written up." Joe was a very persistent coworker regarding things he wanted, and he never took no for an answer! This persistence would have been trite and impressive had he not used it to take advantage of his team members. "My times will go up too, and it'll be your fault for not helping me! What do you have to say about that, Mr. Holier than thou?" Joe was one of those human beings that's easy to detest. Somebody who enjoys causing trouble for anyone else who doesn't like to do his work for him. The term lazy would have been generous if one were to try to describe him. "You know what, Joe? At this point, I'm finished trying to reason with you. I've never seen such a less worthwhile person in my entire life. Whether you consider this a monumental achievement or a major insult is no concern. Now, please let me get back to my job. Thank you!" 'Oh, I'll make sure you regret this decision, Charlie.' Charlie had a deep gut feeling that something terrible would happen. "Fine, have it your way then. I suppose that's what you get for trying to be polite and ask nicely." "Yeah, sure, that's nice, Joe. Now I need to get back to work." That horrible premonition of an unfortunate event was nagging away at Charlie. He just knew that Joe, being the snake he was, was up to something no good. "Hey, bro, try not to worry too much about that Joe guy. One of these days, he will get what he has coming to him. He who lives by the sword dies by the sword, as they say." Richard, now there was a guy that nobody could hate. He always knew how to lighten the atmosphere, bring a smile to everyone's faces, and be a good, down-to-earth guy. "Do you think he'll try something underhanded like he did with at least two other people whose actions have led to their termination?" Charlie was gingerly sipping on his coffee, chatting with Richard; he had to have been one of the only people at this tedious job whom Charlie could like and want to hang out with. Everybody else was like a box of chocolates, and you could never really tell what to expect from them: happy and pleasant to your face, then bitter and vengeful behind your back. I suppose that's just the cruel mistress of life, tugging everyone by the strings, compelling them to do awful things to others. "If you want the truth, I wouldn't put it past the son of a bitch." Richard had rarely been pissed off by anything, which was very difficult to do to him, and Joe has managed this feat several times. "Then why is he even still here? If he's causing all this trouble to his team." "The dude's a brown-noser, a kiss ass, and he'll do anything to beg for anything, a pathetic waste of life. Yet, he's a life all the same." "Unfortunately so." The door opened, and Joe walked in, wearing an oddly cheerful look. Something wasn't right with him; he was up to something, and he approached Charlie and Rich--glorious. "Hey everyone, what's going on here?" Joe walked in to greet them. "Nothing much, just killing time until our next shift," Charlie replied, standing beside Richard. "Yep, I'm doing the same thing as Charlie is. What can we do for you?" "Oh, nothing. I just wanted to check on a couple of my team players." 'Yeah, sure, check up on us. I'm certain that was your plan all along.' "What's that look for, Charlie? You don't seem too happy to see me." 'Gee, I wonder why that is, Joe.' "No, it's not that I'm not happy to see you. I didn't expect to see you walk up to me specifically when there are eight other people here currently, not including Richard and myself." "Now, could that be suspicion that I detect, Charlie?" "Nah, I think you think about things too much." "You sure about that?" "Charlie said that there's nothing wrong, okay Joe!" "Okay, then. I hope you two enjoy your break. I have some important stuff to wrap up. See you later." "Yeah... sure thing, Joe." Joe saluted them as he left the Break Room, and the door closed shortly after. "Yeah... Charlie, you might be in a bit of trouble here. What with Joe at work? Trouble always manages to pop up with him whenever he's around." "So, what do you think I should do then? The manager hates my guts for reasons I'll never fathom, and Joe's got him wrapped around his finger, using him like a puppet." "I honestly haven't a clue, but you better think of something quickly before Joe does something bad to you." "I'll have to go and check out my cubicle station. Joe was heading in that direction. I know he's up to something bad." "Don't we all? Well... godspeed, Charlie. Hopefully, you can get to your station before he does." "Aye. And Rich, for what it's worth, if I do not, for whatever reason, make it out of this, I just wanted you to know that you're the only one here that I could honestly respect and enjoy hanging around. You're one of a kind, mate. Thank you." "Not a problem, now get outta here before he does his business." "Sure thing." "Are you sure that this is going to work, Twilight?" Twilight was working on a machine capable of transporting matter across different dimensions. She was there with three other Alicorns like herself: a pink Alicorn named Cadence, a blue one named Luna, and a white one called Celestia. "I'm positive that it will, Cadence. I've double-checked everything, so everything should be for safe travel. All we have to do is turn this dial to the specific location of our choice, a strange dimension called Earth." "Well... okay then, Twi, so long as you've checked everything, I trust you!" Everyone entered the teleport pad, waiting for Twilight to set the coordinates on her dimension-bending machine. The location was selected for 'Planet Earth'. Twilight entered the teleport pad with the other princesses. The machine whirred to life, creating a cascade of flashing colors and buzzing noises. It started to blow up, sending them into their chosen dimension. The device, however, was totaled, and wasn't going to send them back. They fell through what appeared to be an endless harsh abyss of fast-moving energy, unable to control themselves as they were headed in one direction and one direction only. They screamed as the energy pulled their bodies, contorting and stretching them like a putty-like rubber until they reached their destination. "Oh crap, I hope I'm not too late to my station... that snake had better not have done anything to my work computer... and the hard drive is missing, perfect. Yup, he's been here, messing around with my stuff again. Now, I'll have to go to my manager and ask him where it is. I know that this is a horrible idea. I can feel it in my bones." Charlie had made it to his manager's office and knocked on the door, visibly shaken at his brazen yelling throughout the room he was in. The manager was always like this, even on his best days. It was just second nature to him. "H-hey, Mr. Mortimer, I have something that I need to discuss with you for a moment." "What!?! What do you want? Can't you see that I'm busy right now?" He yelled at the top of his lungs, an activity commonplace within this establishment. "This had better be important, and you'd better have a good excuse as to why you're talking to me and not working at your cubical." "That.. is an amusing story. I had left everything updated, turned off, and locked before I went on my coffee break. When I came back, my hard drive was missing. Why?" "Well, how should I know why? It's your job to ensure you keep track of your equipment, not mine." This was usually his response to everything: the printer was empty and needed to be filled, and no paper was left to use. " Oh well, that should have already been done." A part was missing and needed to be replaced. "Hey, it's your job to make sure that gets done." As for any arguments leading towards conflicts, "Nope, that's not my problem. Now deal with it and get back to work!" Mortimer was seriously an apathetic piece of work, alright. He couldn't even be bothered to do his job, let alone monitor and track his employees. This was one of the biggest reasons Joe had always managed to get away with everything. "But now, how am I going to do my required work, as per the contract I had signed with this company, under your authorization?" "Oh well, that's not my problem." He gave a snide expression that said, 'You're busted.' "Now, as I recall, one of the clauses of your agreement was never to let your station get sabotaged, damaged, or tampered with in any capacity when not in use. Now, what would you call that, Mr. Charlie?" "All of the above, sir!" "Yes, you're not as dull as you look. I also recall warning you multiple times of complications similar to this, yes?" Then, as if things couldn't get any worse, Joe walks in to talk with Mortimer, holding onto MY hard drive. "Hey Joe, that's my hard drive. I knew you were up to something shady!" "What? No... I don't know what you're talking about, Charlie. Back me up, won't you, Morty!" "It's Mortimer, Joe!" "Right, right, excuse me. But what would I have gained by taking something that didn't belong to me? Hmm, Charlie?" This was also typical of Joe: compulsive lying mixed with feigning innocence and always playing his 'victim card' whenever and wherever possible. "Why would I try to take down my team players deliberately? That's not a very nice thing to do to anyone! Now is it, Mr. Holier than thou?" "Mr. Mortimer, why do you regard this guy so highly? Enlighten me, please!" "It's straightforward, Charlie. He does more work than anybody else here combined, and he honestly should be promoted to the employee of the month, not you." "What! But, sir, I don't know what to say. You shouldn't have." Joe was wearing a fake smile and mocking humility. "That's a lie, and you know it. You're just doing this because he kisses up to you, and you like that. You couldn't even be bothered to check what happens outside your office ninety-five percent of the time. That, and for reasons I'll never understand, you've always had it out for me since my first job here." "Hey, Charlie! Watch it, or else your next destination will be the unemployment line. Do I make myself clear?" "You know what. I've dealt with this for over three years now, never getting any benefits, pay raises, or any recognition for any of my work, of which I have done a lot, not that you would know anything about that. I am done with this! You do not need to fire me, and I quit this literal hellhole." "And as for the both of you, do the rest of the unfortunate people and myself here a huge favor by taking a long walk over the steepest plateau you can find and never coming back from it! Good luck trying to find someone who'll work as much and as hard as I have or would do." This left Mortimer speechless for a while, and he never expected this from Charlie, the shyest pushover of the business. "H-How dare.. you..." "Do I need to repeat myself? I'll even go one step further by involving Human Resources; they will hear about this. And... for the cherry on top, I've also been recording everything that has happened since my first week. Do I make myself clear?" "Y-You're bluffing! I know you don't have all that evidence, and you're not smart enough!" "You think so, eh?" "Oh, dear... This doesn't affect me in any capacity, right Boss?" "You shut the fuck up! I've had it with you especially, Joe! Everybody bloody hates you, and do you know why?" Joe was staying silent throughout this, actually feeling fear, the possible fear of termination. "It's because you make it your ultimate objective, every day, to use and backstab everybody, then you've got the gall to call us all 'team players.'" "Okay, Charlie, you've made your point. I can give you a raise if you want it!" "Oh, NOW, you want to give me a raise? Fuck you and the horse you rode in on. Goodbye. Your next destination may very well be the unemployment line, like mine. And you too, Joe." "What!?! You can't be serious. What have I done to deserve that?" Yes, Joe seriously asked me this question. "Everything! Now, good day, gentlemen!" Once everything had been packed up, it was time to say my final goodbyes to this company and Richard. I pray blessings for him; he'll have to deal with these guys instead of me. Now, all that's left to do is to expose those two for what they've done over the three years I've known them. I walked back into the Break Room and saw Richard just about to leave. "Hey, man!" "So it finally happened, didn't it?" "Yes, it did, and I regret nothing. Because all my recorded evidence goes straight to HR, their worst nightmare." "Damn... that's cold, coming from you. Well, they deserve what they're going to get." "Yes, sir!" "Goodbye, everybody!" Were they cheering for me? That was strange. They were all happy to see Joe and Mortimer finally get their desserts. I can't say I blame them for all the considerable trouble they've caused everyone. I then left and headed for the Human Resources Department. Once I arrived there, the first person I wanted to see was the HR supervisor, who overshadowed everything within the company. Not much went in or out of that business without him knowing. "Hey there, Steve!" "I heard about your little outburst. Would you mind telling me about your side before I pass judgment?" "Hey Steve, just so you don't get the wrong idea, you're familiar with Mortimer and Joe, right?" "I am, and I seemed to recall warning them about their antics, but because it's part of my job, I have to ask what happened." "Have you ever dealt with them for over three years?" "No... I have not!" "Trust me, when you've had to deal with every single transgression from those two, being their metaphorical punching bag every single day working, I'd like to think that three years is enough, wouldn't you agree?" "Three years... is just torture. I'll have a stern talk with them. I warned them of what would happen, and they did not listen. Thank you for bringing this to my attention." "That's not a problem. Here's a copy of the evidence, too, in case you haven't received it yet." "Thanks. I'll keep this for the records. This is all the evidence I need; disgusting is an understatement." "Well then, I'll leave you to it then." "And I would also like to speak with you if you wouldn't mind." "Not at all! I'll go out and wait!" "Thank you very much, Charlie. Steve, Mortimer, and Joe all sat in Steve's office. They were very nervous because they knew what they were there for. "Alright, you two, you know why you're here?" "Yes!" they both said in unison, heads tilted down in shame. "How do you explain this, then?" Steve showed them the documented folder containing three years' worth of undeniable evidence against them, to which they both cringed at the sight of it. "This is very unacceptable and unprofessional behavior from you two, And I recall giving the both of you multiple admonishments for this!" "W-Well, for all you know, those could have been easily fabricated, falsified, or forged together to eliminate us!" "Yeah, What Mortimer said." "Now, guys, I can guarantee that my folder is legitimate. Before I pass my judgment, what do you two have to say for yourselves?" "We're sorry about what we did!" they both said together, making every last-ditch effort to grovel for mercy. Steve was not at all amused by their antics or their begging. He was done with them. "That's what you both told me every time I addressed this issue. Now, I have run out of both mercy and patience. I'm afraid that I'll have to let you go." "WHAT!?!" They both yelled out! "Did I stutter? You two are through, done, fired. Get out of my office before you are escorted out by force." "And I'll be watching to make sure that you do. I also have somebody outside who's waiting to meet with me." "B-but y-you can't do this to us. We've done so much for this company, and you need us! Both myself and Joe over here!" "Y-yes, p-please reconsider this decision. We promise to be better, honest!" "No means no, and that's that! You two have had multiple chances to clean up your act, and you've blown every chance I gave you. Now move!" Meanwhile, in the waiting lobby, Charlie patiently waited for Steve to be finished with Mortimer and Joe. Then he sees Steve's door opening and the three walking out. Mortimer and Joe had forlorn looks of defeat plastered over their faces until Mortimer looked up and saw me waving at them cheerfully. This made his blood boil because now he knew who to yell at, yours truly. "YOU! This is all your fault! You did this to us!" "Well, hello there, Morty! Lovely day we're having, wouldn't you agree?" I knew this would piss him off, and I'm not sorry. "IT'S MORTMIER, YOU INGRATE! MORT-I-MER, GET IT RIGHT!" "Look at what you've done to us; I hope you're happy with yourself! Oh, who am I kidding? Of course, you are! Mr. Holier than thou!" "Shut up, you two, and get out of here! Security, I may need some help with ol' Morty here! He's acting a bit belligerent!" "Yeah! You tell them, Steve!" "Don't encourage them, okay?" "Right, excuse me, kinda hard not to after what they did to me." "EXCUSE ME! AFTER WHAT WE DID TO YOU? YOU INSUFFERABLE, IRKSOME BRAT!" "Yeah, you just completely ended both of our careers, and now you've got the gall to blame us for what you did!" "I guess it was me after all, hehe... oopsie, daisy!" I told them, while mocking innocence, that their faces were priceless. "RRAAGGHHH! I'M GONNA KILL THE SON OF A BITCH, I'LL KILL HIM!" "No! No, you will not! You two have a date with the front door. Now, please vacate our premises!" Security was pulling them to the front door, and Joe was more willing to leave than Mortimer was clinging onto the sides of the door's threshold, screaming at the top of his lungs, like he usually did. However, I gave him a legitimate reason to be angry this time instead of just being so. One good look at my snarky grin made the crazed man snap like a twig. You could swear that there was a bit of foam foaming at the mouth, his face red as an apple, veins bursting out of his facial contours, the complete, frothing angry works. "YOU ASSHOLES WON'T GET RID OF ME THAT EASILY! YOU'RE ALL USELESS, COWARDLY, BACKSTABBING MOTHERFUCKERS! I HOPE THAT EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU IS IN THIS ROOM. HELL, THIS ENTIRE ESTABLISHMENT ALL ROT AND BURN IN THE DEEPEST, DARKEST, FILTHIEST PIT OF THE NINTH CIRCLE OF HELL!" He was forced out of the front door, continuing to rage like the world's angriest rhino I've ever seen. The sight was beautiful. "Alright then, Charlie, now, if you would, I'd like to have a word with you!" "Alright, then, Steve, not a problem." Charlie then followed Steve back into his office. They both sat down, and Steve looked calm. "Oh, Charlie, you have no idea how badly I wanted to do that to them." "I hear you. So, what does this have to do with me now? I'm not employed here anymore, if you couldn't tell." "Is that how you'd wish to stay? I'm willing to offer you Mortimer's position if you want to take that." "...What did you just say?" "Take it or leave it. It's your choice, Charlie!" Steve was serious, and I would be the department's general manager when I quit. This was unexpected, that's for sure. "Oh, w-well, yes, I'll take that; thank you, Steve!" "Do you know why I feel you're ready for this position?" "Not entirely, Steve. Why?" "Because you were being polite, respectful, and honest with me. You had the willingness to address a problem that went on for far too long, more than it should have. And you did so professionally, and we need more of this in our company." "I-I have no words aside from thanking you, sir!" "Tomorrow, we'll have an introduction meeting regarding your newly acquired position. Congratulations on your accomplishment, Charlie." "Woah... my head feels like it went three rounds in with an angry manticore. Hey Celestia, Luna, Cadence, you girls alright?" "Yeah... oof, I'm fine, Twilight. My head hurts, but I'm fine otherwise, you Lulu?" "Yes, sister, just a bad headache, you Cadence?" "Yeah, girls, I'm a tough alicorn. I'll pull through!" "My machine must have failed at the last moment before we could get out of it so I could reset its settings. Oh no, no, no, no, no." Twilight panicked as the four princesses arrived at their destination, inside somebody's house, much to their immediate confusion. It wasn't very long until they heard a car pulling in, which got their attention. Someone, presumably the one who lived here, approached their front door. Uh oh, this isn't good, girls!" Charlie opened the front door, and in it came. He then closed his door and locked it, humming an upbeat tune. Then he turned around and saw the magical ponies looking at him, their eyes at a standstill. "What the..." "Um... hi there, I'm Twilight Sparkle. These are my friends: Cadence, Luna, and Celestia!" "I have to be imaging this, four sparkling horses..." "Ponies, that's what we're. We came from a faraway land called Equestria." Everyone except for Luna had bowed; Luna narrowed her eyes in mild suspicion. "And just who do you think you're locking us inside this room?" "This room would be my home, and I should be asking why you four are even here." "Oh, don't mind her... um, and you're?" "Charlie, Charlie franks. Go on." "Right then, Charlie. Luna can sometimes be a bit wary of new ponies. It's nothing personal, I assure you." "Then why is she glaring at me as if I had just murdered a child?" "You what!?!" "Shh. Luna. He wasn't speaking literally. Just relax, and everything will be fine, okay?" "Hmph! Fine, but don't expect a hug and a kiss from me, monkey boy." "Hey! Monkey boy! For your information, pony, you're one of the last creatures I'd ever want to kiss from. You'd probably give me a disease or something." Now Luna was triggered. She approached Charlie with a look of aggravation. "What did thous't say to me? You've got a lot of gall to compare me to a filthy rodent." "I do, don't I? I get that from many people, and the attitude comes with my nature." They both butted their heads together, glaring static at one another. "Is that a fact, Charlie? Okay then!" Luna then just gave a small peck on his right cheek, causing him to rub his cheek, and then a look of horror plastered his face. "Aahhh! If I get anything from you after this, please help me..." Charlie tried to wipe away the kiss on his cheek, and Luna gave a mocking glare in return. "Oh dear, we wouldn't want you to be catching your nothing. That would be such a tragedy, wouldn't it, ladies?" "S-Shut up; I'm just warning you, that's all!" "Oh, you're so terrifying after you've just been kissed upon your cheek like a little foal." "What!?! Why I ought to." "Enough, you two! Charlie, I hereby apologize for Luna's behavior. She tends to get antsy around others since we're in a completely foreign land--It's a work in progress." It seems Celestia was trying her best to diffuse the situation and doing an outstanding job of it. Luna and Charlie have quelled their ire for that moment, but Luna still glares at Charlie whenever possible. "Well, girls, I'm getting exhausted. Um, Charlie, would it be okay if we stayed here for a while since we technically don't have a way to get back home?" "And you said that your name was Twilight, yes?" "Mhmm! A pleasure to meet you." "Well, fine, but she needs to cool her jets, okay?" "What was that, monkey boy?" "You heard me! Either cool your jets or get out. It's your choice." Luna scoffed, swallowed her pride, and looked back at the Human with a look of defeat. "Fine, I will." "Hmm? You're being calm with me... that was unexpected. Well, thank you." "Yeah... sure thing!" "See, everypony can get along, and of course you... um." "Human, I'm a human, not a monkey." "Right then, a human. So then, where would we be sleeping then?" "I've got guest rooms in my house if you'd like that." "Ooh... it's like a hotel already. I love it, right, Twilight?" "Yup, it sure is Cadence. Charlie had then directed them down his hallway and towards his guest rooms. He had four guest rooms, including his room at the end of the hallway. "I call dibs on the room filled with books!" "Hey! Those books are valuable; be careful with them." "You don't need to worry about that, Charlie. Twilight loves books, and if there's anypony that will take care of books, it'll be here." "Ooh... I like the one with the pink walls, and I'll take this one; g'night, ladies!" "Night, Cadence. And you, Luna?" "I'll have the room with the dark blue walls, and I like the color blue." "And I suppose I'll take the room with the yellow ones. Thank you for this, Charlie. It was very generous of you." "Yeah, it's okay. Just get some sleep, guys, okay?" "Yep! We certainly will. Good night, Charlie." "Yeah... night, everybody." Charlie entered his room, went to bed, laid down, and instantly fell asleep from his hectic day. He was ready for the dawn of a new day to approach.
Chapter two: Settling down in a familiar job!Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.
Chapter three: Trouble, pranks and punishment!"Well, look who it is; it's the one that made us lose our jobs!" Mortimer glared at me. "Hey there, Charlie. Do you remember us? Yeah, you do!" Joe was also glaring at me. "Oh hey Morty, Joe." "It's Mortimer, you little bastard!" "So, guess what, Morty? I've got your position now; I love irony, don't you?" Mortimer was grating his teeth in seething frustration. "Um... Charlie, do you know who these two are?" Twilight looked at me. "Sadly, I do. These two made my life at work miserable for three years straight. They were also the reason why I had quit." Luna didn't know why, but she looked at Joe and saw that she had already hated his guts. She, however, felt indifferent towards Mortimer. "So I made a plan with my supervisor, Steve. Then, we got rid of them." "Do you know what you just did to us, Charlie? We've been blocked from being hired from any other location, period. You've ruined us!" "You've ruined yourselves; I did our company a favor by getting rid of you two. Everyone wanted you guys gone. And frankly, I can't say that I blame them, either." "So, you two are only here to cause trouble, huh?" Celestia glared at them. "Well, as much as we'd love to speak to your prostitutes, Charlie. We've come here for you, not them. We've got some unfinished business with you." "What did he just call us, Sister!?" Luna snapped her focus to her sister, then to Mortimer and Joe. "What's so wrong about speaking the truth? I call them as I see them. So what's that look for?" Mortimer had a devilish smirk. "T-Tia... can I please kick that guy in his jewels?" "No, Luna, you're already in a lot of trouble for being violent; I suggest not making things worse for yourself." "B-But Tia, you realize what he called us, right?" "Yes, Luna, I do." "The nerve of this pig!" Luna muttered to herself, looking over to her sister. "Calm down, Luna, please." "We are not harlots; we are princesses of our fair land." "What're you two bimbos yammering about over there? Don't interfere with this; it's none of your business." Mortimer sneered at the two princesses talking amongst themselves; they returned his sneer with a glare of their own. It took Luna everything, not just running over and tearing this man in half. "This is between Charlie and me; I've got nothing against you; let's keep it that way." Mortimer then focused his gaze back on Charlie. "Hey, you didn't have to talk to them like that! Is that how you treat all of the ladies you meet? It's no wonder you've remained single for so long." "Why you... of course I do if you want to know so badly. Women are useless for everything except for house chores and making babies." Mortimer glared at me as I did him. "They'll never be any more, nor any better." "You've got a lot of nerve, having that attitude. Very close-minded, selfish, and just plain nasty. You deserved what you got, and you know it deep down." "Only because you threw a wrench in my job, ruining my life. Then, to add insult to injury, it's the one human replacing me that I hate the most: you!" "W-What about me, boss?" "Shut up, Joe! Nobody's talking to you!" He briefly snapped his attention to his partner. "This is my vengeance, not yours. If I wanted your opinion, I would have asked for it." "Y-Yes, sir..." Joe tilted his head down dejectedly. 'Damn... this must be the first time that I'd feel bad for Joe.' Charlie was then focused back over to Mortimer. "You know what, Morty, I've had it up to here with you; if anybody deserved revenge, it was me, and you know it. I got that in the form of your dismissal." Continued his piercing glare, something Mortimer hadn't seen before from Charlie. "And before you correct me, as I know you would, I frankly could give less than a shit about your preferred name." "Y-You... b-bastard." "So take this as your only shot of mercy that you'll ever get from me and bugger off." "Y-You think you're a bunch of hot shit, do you?" "I can release Luna on you if you'd like; she's been very pissed off by what you said to them." Mortimer looked into her eyes and saw nothing but seething rage. "Y-You... haven't seen the last of me, mark my words, Charlie." "And mark mine; I'll be ready whenever you show your ugly face." Mortimer huffed as he turned around to walk away. "Come on, Joe. We're leaving!" "Yes, boss, I'm on my way." Celestia flicked her index finger, slinging some of her magic off it and onto Mortimer's head. The effect was immediate; his hair came to life and just hopped off of his head, and both guys were surprised at this sight. "W-What the fuck!? M-My hair!" "What's happening, boss?" "I have no idea, but go and get it now!" "Y-Yes, sir, right away, sir." Everyone, including Charlie, was laughing; even the other civilians around the park burst out laughing. "U-Um... Charlie, I feel I need to say something to you." "And that is, Luna?" "Thank you for standing up and defending us like that; it was lovely of you." "Meh, it's no problem. And I thought you guys weren't allowed to use magic... hmm?" With a smirk, Charlie looks to Celestia, who is trying to dodge eye contact. "My bad; I guess my finger just accidentally slipped." "Well, it's getting late, and the park is about to close soon; I think we should get going now." "That show was great, guys!" Twilight piped up as she happily looked over to Charlie. "Which one?" "Both of them!" "Ha, awesome. Let's head home, everyone!" "Sister... please, we do not wish to become like the pancakes you make so well." Everyone was back in their pony forms as Celestia dragged Luna into the room where she was staying. "Get it over with, Lulu. That's what I'd do if I were you." "I highly doubt you would..." "Well, I doubt you'd want to, but a punishment is a punishment." "P-Please, girls! Charlie! H-Help me..." Luna was holding onto the door frame as Celestia gave one last good tug, and she was pulled into her room. Then, the door was shut, and everyone could hear Luna's muffled whines through the walls and the door itself. "Oof, she's going to feel that in the morning." Cadence looked at us and smiled sadly. "Would you guys please tell me what you're so scared of? It can't honestly be that bad!" Just then, screams and crunches could be heard from outside her room. "Maybe you should retract that statement, huh?" Twilight looked at me with a raised brow for my answer. "W-What is she doing to her in there?" "S-Squishing her, Charlie. Squishing her with her butt!" Cadence looked sad and terrified at having to explain what Celestia was doing and being reminded of when it happened to her in Canterlot. "...Y-You're joking, right?" "Does it look like we're, Charlie?" "No, no, it doesn't." "Thank you." Cadence looked at you, slightly blushing. "H-Hey, remember when we snuggled earlier today? I-I was wondering if you'd want to hug me?" She brightly smiled at Charlie, who was nervous. "B-But... I-I'm not one for intimate physical contact, sorry." "Yeah, I know that; I was asking. For... you know, reasons." "It's alright, Cadence; maybe if I were more open to you, I just have a personal no-touching rule in place." "Hey guys, put your ear against the door; I swear you could hear what they're saying." Twilight was pressing her head up against the door. "Twilight, why would you be interested in hearing Luna cry?" Cadence looked rather annoyed. "Well... um, I don't know. I'm just that curious, I suppose." "Dear me, sister, y-your flanks are so h-heavy... g-get off!" Luna was pounding her hooves onto the floor; the scene almost looked adorable; Luna looked like a small child throwing tantrums. "No, Luna, you need to learn your lesson, I tried to be nice to you, but you forced me to use my butt." Celestia wiggled her ass, creating small crunching noises and groans from Luna underneath her. "I told you multiple times to behave here, and you have not." "P-Please, Tia, I'll improve; I swear I will. I'm sorry for being mean, honest!" Luna was in tears at this point. "And by Faustia's cosmic mane, you need a bath, Tia. Y-Your butt stinks, arugh!" Luna was trying to plug up her nose with her hooves. "Oh, well, I do apologize, Luna. I suppose I never got the chance to bathe since we arrived here; I hope that isn't too much for the mighty princess of the night." "N-Nay sister, it s-shall not. But it's solid." Celestia then began to bounce her massive flanks lightly onto Luna's body. Her heavy sides made small crunching sounds, causing Luna to groan in frustration and defeat, knowing there was no way to beat her sister's ass; it was simply impossible. So she resigned to being Celestia's forced butt cushion, much to her dismay. "Do you remember when we last did this? You were serving your time from being Nightmare Moon, and I squished her evil out of you. Goodness, that felt nice." "Y-Yes... I do r-recall, sister." Celestia went from bouncing to slowly smearing her butt all over the squashed night princess. "Ergh... t-that hurts, sister... s-stop it!" "I'll stop once I'm satisfied you've learned your lesson." "Oh gees, I can only imagine what she's feeling there." Charlie looked over to the other girls. "We can't." Cadence looked back to Charlie, then to Twilight. "Yeah, Cadence, it's horrible. Once you've spent at least one night under that ass, you'll never want to be evil or misbehave again." "So, how'd you two get that punishment anyway?" "Well, for me, I tried to prank Celestia by spiking her cake with laxatives, and that just made everything worse for the rest of that night." Twilight shuddered, then looked at both of us. "And me, I told a joke that offended her badly. And Celestia, as you may have noticed already, doesn't have very thick skin." "Yeah, I've seen her get mad pretty quickly for someone who's supposed to be very patient, gentle, and graceful." "Shh... don't let her hear you; let Luna serve as an example; you do not want to cross Celestia." Twilight looked at Charlie with genuine concern. "Yeah, alright, I won't make her cranky!" Charlie couldn't take this seriously. Was I using your butt as a way to punish someone? It was unbelievable, ridiculous even. "You should take this more seriously, you know. We're not kidding when we say you do not want to end up under her butt." Cadence looked at me with a severe expression. "Okay, sister! I've learned my lesson, p-please... no more..." Luna was crying from both the smell and the weight. "Are you sure, Luna? You promise to behave?" "YES! Y-Yes, I promise, p-please let me go, Tia." "If you're sure, then okay. I'll let you off easy this time. I do not want to have to do this again, okay?" "Okay, I understand. Thank you." Luna weakly got back up on her hooves and entered the hallway. She was letting the door close on her way out. "Let's just hope that you follow through with your words." Luna opened Celestia's door and came out; Twilight was beside her. Her nose wrinkled at the sharp smell of Celestia's plot over the night princess. "Eww... Luna, you need a bath!" "Please, Twilight, don't start with me." Luna slowly and tiredly shuffled into the bathroom to wash up. "After I get done, I'm retiring into my room, and that's that." She then closed the bathroom door and turned the showers on. "So guys, I guess Celestia is staying in there then?" Twilight looked at everybody else as her door opened, and out popped the head of the sun princess. "Hello, everypony, you'll have to forgive me; I'm not usually like this, even if Luna would be quick to disagree." "It's okay, Celestia, we understand; I just hope Luna will be okay." "She'll be fine, Twilight. My sister is a tough cookie; she'll pull through." "Yeah, I know; I just worry about her sometimes, you know?" Twilight tilted her head down, a look of concern on her face. "Well, if she behaves, she won't get squished under me—that's simplicity itself. I do not enjoy punishing her, but I will if I have to." "Yeah, I know, Celestia. Why does she have to be like this?" "It's probably a phase; she's also not one who can easily trust others, especially if she's never really known them. I understand where she's coming from, but I still have to do my job and keep her in line." "I understand, Celestia." "Great. After Luna is done, I need to wash up, and then I'm hitting the hay." "Yeah, I'm also getting a bit tired; Cadence and I will get ours after you, Celestia. So Charlie, read up on any good books lately?" "Well, I'm not much of a reader; it's not my thing." Twilight made a pouty face at that remark. "Aww, come on, no books whatsoever? Then how do you explain the ones in the room I'm staying in?" "There used to be other people who lived here with me; that's all you'll get out of me until I get to know you better; nothing personal." "It's okay, I understand; it's personal information and probably unpleasant too." "Indeed." "Well, I'll have to get to work starting in the morning; just a little heads-up to everybody here. Otherwise, you're free to do whatever you want here, so long as you don't cause any trouble." "Not with Celestia around; you won't have to worry about that," Twilight replied with a gentle smile. Luna opened the door, using a towel to dry off and magic to pop the joints in her back, some from Celestia's butt bashing earlier. "Ahh... that's much better, man, that hurt, and it stunk like ass. Oh, sister, I didn't know you were right up against the bathroom door." "Luna, you're not up to any mischief, right?" "I just got out of the shower, Tia. I'm going to retire, and that's final." "Okay, Lulu, you go and do that. I hope you didn't use up all of the hot water." "It'll be fine, Tia; just get your shower, okay?" "Okay then, Luna, I will; good Night." "Yes, good night, dear sister, same to you, everypony, and Charlie." Luna went into her room and closed her door; she went to sleep as Celestia entered the bathroom for her shower. "I'll take just a few minutes, everypony, then you can go in, Cadence." "Alright then, Auntie." The bathroom door opened as Celestia stepped out. "Oh, that's so much better. Okay, then, I'm off to sleep; good night, everypony and Charlie." Celestia finished, and then Cadence walked in to take her shower. "I'll try not to be too long, okay?" Cadence closed the door as she turned on the water. "Then me, Charlie. Man, it'll feel good to get clean." Twilight was lightly hopping in place as she waited. "You guys better not use all the hot water there." Twilight just stuck out her tongue at me as we waited for Cadence to be finished. "Hey! Why you little." "You know, I think I can see why Luna enjoys poking around with you; your reactions are funny." "Oh, hardy har har. Fine then, I can't wait for my turn." Cadence was finally finished, and then it was Twilight's turn to take her shower. "Well, I'll try to leave some for you, Charlie?" Twilight stepped in to take her shower as Cadence walked out. "Oh man, does that feel nice? See you in the morning; good night." Cadence cheerfully walked into her room and closed her door to go to sleep. "Oh goodie, now it's my turn to get clean. I've been waiting for this all day." Twilight walked into the bathroom to get into the shower to wash; Charlie was almost getting impatient. He wasn't used to waiting on more than just himself at home. After about five minutes, Twilight came out, smelling like fresh lavender. "Oh man, it feels so much better to be clean." "Is there still hot water left?" "Yeah, yeah, there is. Don't worry, Charlie." Twilight looked back at me and yawned. "But this pony needs some sleep; good night." "Yeah... sure." Charlie finally went in to take his shower... After about five minutes, the water went cold on him, and he shrieked. "T-Twilight... I swear I'll get you for this." He, of course, didn't say it loud enough for anypony else to hear it. Morning rolled around, and everypony walked out except for Luna, who eventually came out after sleeping in for a bit. "Morning, Charlie! Headed off to work, huh?" Celestia looked as upbeat and cheerful as ever this morning. "Y-Yeah, I am. I'm starting my very first day back in the same building. I wonder what everyone there would think?" "I'm sure everything will be fine; try not to worry, okay?" Celestia had that warm and motherly look on her face, the kind of look that was impossible not to love. "We'll hold down the fort while you're away." "Yeah, thanks, Celestia." I nodded to her respectfully before I walked out to begin my first day. "Hey Celestia, you don't suppose that I could have your help with something?" Twilight approached Celestia, waiting for her response. "Twilight. So what do you need me to do?" "I need to borrow some of your magic to power up this solar battery. I'm thinking of a way to bridge magical communications between this world and ours." "Certainly, Twilight. It's worth a try. Now, try not to look directly at my horn." Her horn flashed brightly as a concentrated beam of solar magic juiced up the battery very quickly. "Did that work?" "It sure looks like it; let's put it into my device and find out." Twilight placed the battery into her communications beacon device. It whirred to life, and the top of it was glowing. "Yes, this is incredible. Now, let's see if it can do more than just flashy." "Ooh, that does look pretty, Twilight. Hey, call my Shiny for me. I want to check on him and Flurry." Cadence missed them and wanted to say hi to them if nothing else, an understandable motive for somepony you love. "Sure. I need to set the coordinates to Equestria and then the Crystal Empire. Now, turn it on." Once it did, a holographic version of Cadence's Room appeared. "There's my room, Twilight. You're a genius." "Y-Yeah... thanks, Cadence. I wanted to think ahead before we left on our inter-dimensional vacation. In case something like this were to happen." Then to everypony's delight, Shining answered. "Hey there, is this thing on? Oh, hey, you guys. So you did make it out safely; what a relief." Shining looked at Twilight and Cadence. "So where is that place, huh?" "Some very nice human is letting us live with him. Isn't that great, Shiny?" "Well, at least you're safe; that's what's great to me." Then Flurry Heart showed up on the communication beam next to Shining. "Aww... hey there, Flurry. Mommy misses you so much." Flurry was happy to finally see her mother after it's been so long since they left. "Well, I've got work to help keep everypony calm and keep Flurry here happy. Thanks for checking in, Twily, Cadence; I'll see you around." Then Shining pushed a button on the device to turn it off, leaving the screen blank before Twilight did the same. "There he is; look who's back from the grave." A good friend of mine greeted me. "Richard! My man! Yeah, I'm back from the grave and ready to lead this company, or at least this extension of this company." Rich was a sight for sore eyes, to be sure. "Dude, you crazy bastard! You seriously managed to convince corporate to eliminate Mortimer and Joe. How'd you do it?" "Well, as it turned out, even they were sick of their antics. Now they got blocked from being hired in this line of occupation, ever." "Aw yeah, sweet justice. You did good, man. I'm happy to call you the general manager. Everybody here is." As Richard said, everybody cheered for me and my accomplishment. "Yeah, thanks, guys. This means a lot to me, more than most could probably realize. As the new manager, I promise to be the best I can be for everybody here." "I can't believe this, Joe. Look at him, all righteous and smug, usurping my position underhandedly. How could this have happened?" The troublesome duo was watching Charlie from the outside window in the breakroom. "I don't know, boss. But do we have to stalk him seriously during his job? Hell, even I can admit that's creepy." "Of course, this is a necessary evil, just so we can plan, Joe." As Mortimer said, a guard was approaching them. "Hey, you! Didn't I already kick you two off of these premises? Either vacate this property or else." "Or else what, Dingbat? Yes, you always hated that nickname, didn't you?" Mortimer had a snarky look on his face. "Don't make me have to page for reinforcements, Morty. Cause if I have to, I will." "How often do I have to say the same thing to everybody? It's Mortimer. It's not a hard name to remember." "Yeah, tell that to someone who cares, Morty. My job is to keep trespassers like yourselves from being here." "Why, you little, tiny-brained whelp! You're lucky that I'm in a charitable mood right now. I don't hate you like I do, Steve or Charlie. Let's keep it that way, okay?" The guard put his pager to his mouth and clicked the call button. "Yeah, Steve. You'll never guess who I found over here. Can you? You're not surprised, are you? I figured as much. So what do you suggest I should do then? Alright, consider it done." he clicked the off button on his pager and glared at the troublesome duo before him. "Look, not that I particularly care about your conversation, but maybe we can work something out, Mitch? What do you say, old buddy, old pal?" Joe tried to be reasonable with him. "Yes! What Joe said, old buddy, an old pal of mine." Mortimer decided to push both Mitch's patience and his luck. Both were an exercise in futility. "Yeah, I don't think so, guys. It's time for you two to get out of here." He flashed his badge at them. "You realize I can get you in trouble with the law, right? I could arrest you two if I wanted." "Yeah, maybe we should listen to him, boss. Mitchel can be kind of scary when he wants to be." "Hmph! Today's your lucky day, Dingbat. I've got better things to do anyways." "Good. You're welcome to do them outside of this property. Now scram!" "Fine then, we've already got the location of his house anyway. Come on, Joe; we're leaving." "Right away, boss. Cya around, Mitch." They both did as they were told and left. "Well, that doesn't sound too good; I better warn Charlie about this; those two are always trouble." Mitchel made his way over to Charlie after ensuring that Mortimer and Joe were gone. Thankfully, they were. He knocked on his office door. "Hey, Charlie. I got to talk to you about something." "Sure thing, Mitch. Come on in." Once he sat down, he drank the cup of coffee he had in his hand before entering Charlie's office. "I just felt I should tell you that I ran into a couple of your 'friends,' those two troublemakers." "Really? What're they doing now?" "Well, Mortimer claims that he knows where you live." "Well, that's... not good." "If you want, I can help you to file a restraining order against them." "Well, I'm not worried they'll be too much trouble. Joe is practically harmless when he's not doing what Mortimer tells him to do. And Mortimer is usually all bark and no bite." "And you're confident they won't be too much trouble for you?" "I am; thank you for your concern." Charlie knew they were no match for four super-powered, magical ponies—especially Luna and her masterful art of groin-kicking. "Well then, if you ever change your mind, look me up. If it means striking those two down, I'll do anything to ruin their plans." "Yeah, thanks, Mitch. I will keep it in mind." Charlie dismissed the guard as he left the room to tend to his teammates. "Come on already, why does there always have to be a stupid brown toad in my way whenever I jump?" "Goombas." Celestia corrected Luna. "Right, whatever. They're the spawns of Tartarus." Luna picked up the controller and tried it again. Once the title screen popped back up, she pressed the load game button. Then, she began the first level. It wasn't long after that that the Jumpman died again. "First, it was the ugly brown toads, and now these snappers?" "Koopas." Celestia corrected her again. "Raghh... screw this game. Stupid Mario Brothers!" "And by giving up, this means I win, Luna." It was reasonably later in the day, and Charlie returned from work to see Luna in a rather pissy mood. "Hey guys, what's... what's wrong with her?" "She's just salty that she couldn't play a video game. We have them in our world, but they are way more interesting. And this is coming from somepony that doesn't play video games. How do you humans do it?" "Well... I don't know; we do. Yeah, I used to play that console when I was younger. Those were the days. Beautiful nostalgia." "I must say, you humans know how to impress despite your lack of magic. Your creativity more than makes up for that." "I didn't know you even had video games in your world. What're they like?" "They are nothing like these; they're primitive in concept. I suppose they didn't have enough time to improve on them in my world." "Man, that sounds like it sucks." "Indeed. What's a ruler to do whenever they get too bored?" "Right, you guys are legit royalty in your world; I nearly forgot about that." Charlie and Celestia saw Luna sulking in the corner, perhaps trying to drown her shame of losing. "Luna. Please, come over here; it's not that bad." "It is, too, sister. Those ugly creatures are the bane of my existence." "We can play a different game to help you feel better. How about... this one." Celestia pulled out a different one. "Tetris? Sounds interesting." "Alright then, sure." Luna sat down with Celestia, and they both played a few rounds. "Hey Charlie, what is this incredible device?" "Oh hey, Cadence, that's a cell phone. More specifically, a smartphone." "Fascinating. So what does it do? Besides, make and receive calls." "Why don't you play with it to find out?" There was a gentle tug on his shirt. He looked and saw Twilight with a book in her hooves. "Oh hey there, bookhorse. What's up?" "I wanted to know more about these computers in your world. This book states that there are several types of them." "Oh, you found my guidebook to better technology, huh? Yeah, a computer is an incredible device that allows infinite knowledge." Twilight's face brightened up upon hearing this. "Holy moly, this world is fantastic. Where can I find one of these computers?" "In my room. I have a tower. But maybe tomorrow. It is late, after all." Twilight yawned and eventually agreed. "Yeah, it is. Okay then, I'll check this out in the morning after breakfast. I do need sleep; goodnight, Charlie." Then, to his major shock, she just kissed him on his right cheek and happily shuffled to her room to go to bed. "Y-Yeah... goodnight." He rubbed his cheek, blushing a bit before he shook it off. "Hey, you guys going to bed soon or what?" "Yeah, I'm about to. Goodnight, everypony, Charlie." Cadence made it to her room to sleep. "If you'd allow it, we'd like to stay up longer." Luna pleaded to Charlie. "Fine, you and Celestia can, but try to keep it down, okay?" "Thanks, Charlie." Luna gave him a genuine smile, something he had never seen on her face before; it was a pleasant change. "Sure, goodnight, everypony. God, it feels weird to say that." He went into his room to go to bed.
Chapter four: A routine morning, a trip for sweetness, and a dash of danger.The following day arrived; Charlie woke up and went to the living room. What he saw was both priceless and adorable; Celestia and Luna were snuggled up to each other on the sofa where they were playing games. They were sound asleep, too. 'I shouldn't disturb them, but that might happen anyway.' They looked so adorable when they weren't angry. Just as I was about to make my way over to brew some coffee, Celestia's eyes popped open, now awake and aware of my presence. "Oh, good morning, Charlie! I just wanted to repeat my thanks for letting Luna, and I had some fun last night. It was very nice." Celestia, as always, looked like a ray of sunshine. No matter how hard you tried, being mad at that face was impossible. "Oh, it's fine; it's no worry at all. I was going to start some coffee. Do you want some?" "Mmm, sure. What flavor will it be this time?" "It's the one I got before coming home last night; on my way back from work, I visited the market." "What is it?" Celestia looked at the bag, anticipating what I was about to brew in the next few minutes. "Chocolate-mint espresso was a limited edition item, and I decided to get it." "That looks like it'll be yummy. I can't wait." She looks at her still-sleeping sister and grins. "At least I'll be able to taste it before she does." Celestia looked satisfied, knowing she'd have something to brag to her sister about. That was until Charlie turned the coffee machine on, and the smell flooded the room. This had dashed Celestia's hopes as the aroma had roused Luna from her slumber. "Mmm, that smells nice." Luna's eyes had opened; she cheerfully sat up from where she was sleeping, and her head jerked over to the coffee machine with a pleased smile. "Well, darn it. I guess we'll both be having some together. Then again, that doesn't seem too bad. I actually might like that." Celestia sighed in defeat but accepted it regardless. "Hey, Luna, why don't you join us for coffee?" "You don't need to ask me twice, Tia." Luna got up and hastily made her way to the dining table, with her cup in her magic as she set it down. "I am very thirsty for some of that good stuff." Cadence had woken up shortly after that. She was headed into the kitchen, guided by the aroma of fresh coffee. "Wow, that smells good. I hope you ladies weren't planning on having any without me because that would be very rude." Cadence looked at them in kind as they looked back at her. "Nope! Not at all." Celestia also wanted in on some coffee goodness, it seemed. Not that it could be helped; even Charlie could admit that coffee smelled delicious. "So Cadence, Twilight's still sleeping?" "Yes, I think so. She's been reading some books all night. I think that reading might be an unhealthy obsession for her." "You better be careful what you say around Twilight, Cadence. She'd go off on you if she heard what you said." "Yeah, I know. So is that coffee almost ready, Charlie? I, Luna, and Celestia are thirsty." "That's right, guys. It's almost ready to be served. So then, who wants both cream and sugar?" Celestia and Cadence both replied, "Yes, please!" Luna, on the other hand, didn't. "Just cream for me, no sugar." Luna usually preferred a bold taste over a sweet one. She sighed in bliss as she saw Charlie pouring coffee into the cups. This meant she would get it soon and couldn't wait much longer. "Please, Charlie. Can thous't hurry this along? I need it, now!" "Alright then, your highness, I'll get it to you right now, gees." "Was that mockery that I detect under your breath, Charlie?" He took a look at Celestia briefly. Then, Charlie looked back at Luna and grinned. "Maybe it was, maybe it wasn't." Luna took notice of that and gave him her smirk in return. "You better be careful about what you say around me, Charlie. Otherwise, I might have to do something about your attitude." Luna had a look on her face that said, 'I'm only joking with you.' "Ooh... I'm terrified; I'm quivering in fear, milady." Charlie playfully nudged her on her shoulder as they giggled, and he placed the cup of coffee in front of her. "Enjoy." "Oh, I definitely will." She took a big whiff of the coffee, and a rush of bold, chocolate-mint, and creamy goodness flooded her lungs, causing her to sigh in bliss before she took a sip. "It's like a drug, Charlie. It's... nice." Luna slumped in her chair with a look of pure happiness. "So, is the Highness satisfied?" "Totally." Luna was in her little world now. Everything and everyone else just disappeared, leaving her alone with her coffee. Charlie whistled and snapped his fingers to get her attention, but she was like a wall, with no reaction from her whatsoever. "Hey, Luna... you okay there?" Charlie waved his hand in her face... nothing. "There's no point in trying that, Charlie. Once my sister gets a true taste for something, you'll have no choice but to wait for her to be done with it." "I see, so then. How long would you estimate that, Celestia?" "Perhaps... longer than most ponies. My sister loves very few things in life. But if you get her that one thing she loves, she'll be your best friend." "Well, I suppose so long as she's happy, right?" Charlie looked over to Luna first, then back to Celestia. "Charlie, I have to ask you something; why did you accept us as you did? Not that I'm complaining, just curious." "Well, I-I don't know. I guess I'm just an accepting person. It's always nice to show kindness, you know." "Mmm, good answer." Celestia was beginning to like Charlie more and more the more they talked. "Well, it's a good thing I left Richard in charge of management in my absence; I told him I needed a sick day from work. So, I've all the time in the world right now." Charlie looked over to Celestia, who smiled warmly in return. "Well, that's just lovely, Charlie. But what would we do now?" "I thought I might as well get to know... e-everypony here a bit better. Ugh, I'll never be able to say that, and it not feel weird." "Well, that sounds nice. So then, no trip to the park, like last time?" "Nah. I think I can be here at home with all of you." Luna's sudden outburst had broken the ice between Celestia and Charlie. "Hey, Charlie! I'm out of coffee. Another round, please!" "Yeah, okay. I'll be right there." Charlie rushed over to take Luna's cup from her to fill it back up; she saw the stream of rich, hot coffee filling inside her cup. Just then, Luna began to sigh in bliss. "Verily, this divine bitter nectar is fit for the gods. Like us." Of course, Luna was in her little world but aware enough to call out for more coffee. "I'm sure. It's nice that you're feeling better, Luna." Charlie looked at her briefly as he saw her bright and happy face. It was official; this was better than how she felt and acted. Then, Cadence approached Charlie, bumping her snout on his left thigh to get his attention. Charlie looked at her to see her have the cutest "give me something" look he'd ever seen. "Yes, what is it, Cadence?" "Well... Charlie. I wondered if you'd want to go to the store with me to buy some delicious cinnamon sticks. You know, the ones from that park we went to yesterday." Cadence was dead set on those sugary joy sticks; she wanted them badly. "Well... couldn't we just wait until the others finish breakfast first?" She whined at Charlie; she had intended to murder the poor man with her cuteness. Weaponized cuteness is the worst way to be snuffed out, for sure. "Please... pretty please, Charlie?" That look was killing him inside. "A-Alright then. Fine. We'll go now and then be right back, okay?" She hugged him tightly and squeed with glee. "Oh, thank you, Charlie. You're the best." Charlie just gave Celestia a 'please help me' look on his face, to which she just shrugged it off and giggled. "Alright then, we'll go out to the car. Cadence, get changed into a human, then meet me outside, okay?" "Alright then." She had a bubbly and happy look on her face right now. They went outside to get into the car; Charlie opened the door first to let her into the passenger seat. "So then, how many are we going to get?" "Maybe just one." Charlie was teasing her, but that pouting she gave him was murder on his conscience. "Okay. We'll get more than one if you drop that sappy look." Her face brightened up. "I'm beginning to hate that face now." "You're the best, Charlie." Charlie started the car, and they both went to the market to buy more cinnamon sticks. "Look at that, Joe. Charlie and that pink-haired slut of his made it into the market. You know, it does pay off to do your research and stakeout." "Yes, Mortimer. I understand." Joe was still hurt that he was only a tool to Mortimer and nothing more. But since he doesn't know what else to do, he resigns himself to enduring himself and his selfishness. "Oh, come on, Joe. Wipe that sappy look off your face before I go and do it myself!" He did his best to try to look a bit happier. "That's a bit better, Joe." Mortimer then points over to the market entrance and huffs. "There, Joe. That palooka Charlie is on the move; let's tail them both and remember not to be noticed." "Yes, sir. Right away, sir!" They managed to make it to the entrance far from Cadence and Charlie. Once they entered, they kept their safe distance from them and tried to sabotage their day. "Hey, Charlie! Look at all of these wares! Wow!" Cadence was in shock and awe for some strange reason. "Why do you look so surprised? Haven't you seen a modern supermarket before? Don't they have those where you come from?" "Mm mm." Cadence shook her head. "Nope. Sure, we have markets and other various shops where I come from, but never anything like this." "Hmm... so you have no idea what you were expecting, huh?" "Well, depending on how you'd look at it, that's not necessarily an easy question for me to answer. I could say yes, but then I'd have to remember that this world is nothing like ours." "Touche. So then, where to, your highness?" Charlie was looking at Cadence, ready for her response. "Oh, come on, Charlie. You know exactly why we came in here. Those heavenly cinnamon sticks." Cadence was practically drooling at the thought of them. "Churros. That's what they're called." "So that's the name of those lovely cinnamon sticks, huh? Whoever invented that was a bucking genius." Cadence looked like she was on a hunt; those sugary churros were the quarry, and she was the predator. "So you're telling me nothing in your world has compared to these things?" "Nope. The cakes that Celestia likes, I don't. And those pies that Luna eats, I rarely eat. Twilight hardly eats any sweets at all. But once my lips had touched those sticks... I then knew love at first bite." "You're obsessed over them. And these things aren't even that expensive. I'd imagine that a princess like yourself would have better tastes than for a snack fit for a pauper." "Then buying more than one shouldn't be a problem for you." "I hate you sometimes; you know that?" "Thank you for getting them for me, Charlie." Cadence's victorious look said, "I won," as she giggled and skipped to the candy and sweets aisle. Charlie huffed in annoyance as he resigned to her demands. "Okay, Joe, they're heading down the Candy and sweets aisle. You got the firecrackers ready?" "They're right here, boss. So then, how do you want me to use them?" "You see that open space on the opposite side of the aisle they're on?" "I do." "That open space right at the top shelf should work out nicely. The explosion would cause everything on their side to collapse over them, burying them underneath a lot of weight." "But, sir, wouldn't that be potentially life-threatening for them?" "Don't question me, Joe. Just do it!" "Y-Yes, sir, right away, sir." Joe did as he was told and ran ahead of Cadence and Charlie, making sure not to get caught by them as he positioned himself at the location, set the pack of firecrackers on the top shelf, and waited for Mortimer's cue. After he gave Joe the thumbs-up, signaling to go for it, he lit the match and struck the wick as it ignited the fuse to the firework, making a very loud whizzing and popping noise. Just then, Joe tried to run but tripped and fell onto the floor as the explosion went off and caught everyone by surprise. "Joe, you dumbass." Mortimer huffed under his breath as he saw the display going down. The first few rows of stocked bags of sugar, flour, starch, and other heavy containers and bags have fallen. They were aimed right at Charlie and Cadence as Charlie saw her shocked face. "Look out!" Charlie pushed Cadence out of the way as one bag of flour hit her back, making her yelp in pain, but she was otherwise fine. Charlie, however, was nearly in a lot of trouble; only his leg was pinned under a lot of weight, and his ankle was likely sprained. "Charlie!? Are you okay? Can you stand up?" "Yes, Cadence, I'm fine. What the hell just happened?" "I don't know, but it scared the crap out of me." Cadence managed to stand upright as Joe did, and they saw each other from the gap between both aisles; Joe had a box of matches in his right hand and had a very guilty look adorning his face. With a scowl, Cadence recognized him from the park yesterday. "Hey! It's you again! I remember you from that trip to the park we had yesterday. Where's that creepy balding guy that was with you?" "U-Um, his name is M-Mortimer, miss. He's meticulous about that." Joe sheepishly gazed into Cadence's angry face. "Damn, she looks cute when she's pissed off." "Like I care about what he finds more comfortable for himself. You two nearly killed us; why I ought to." Cadence quickly got up and had an enraged, fiery pink aura around her; it scared both Charlie and Joe. Joe gulped in fear as he got up and ran for it. "It's time to amscray on out of here, Mortimer. We've been compromised! Euaghhh!" Joe panicked as he began to run away toward Mortimer. "W-What the--No! Joe, you idiot, you're leading that harlot right over to us!" "WHAT DID YOU CALL ME!?" Cadence said in a nearly demonic tone out of sheer anger. "U-Um... b-boss, I think you made her even angrier." Both Joe and Mortimer had made a mad dash for the exit as Cadence was right onto their tails; with her enraged motivation, she was gradually catching up to them. "T-This is not how we had planned this out, is it?" "No. You don't say, Joe! Just keep running!" Both were right up to the exit door, and Cadence was too. "Well, Joe, there comes the point where one must take one for the team to prevail. You'll thank me for this later." "W-What do you mean, boss- aaughh!?" Mortimer pushed Joe right into Cadence as he left the store unharmed. "No! Please don't leave me with her, boss! Please..." Then Cadence grabbed Joe by the back of his collar and dragged him over to a stand where the paddles were kept and found a wooden one with small hollowed-out holes, the kind that would hurt like a bitch to get hit with. "W-What are you gonna do to me?" "Giving you what you deserve, you little shit! I'm going to tan your hide, old-fashioned style!" This threat had caused Joe's pupils to shrink to pinpricks as he screamed in terror and struggled as he managed to pull himself away from Cadence's grip. He ran to the door right as it was about to close. Cadence managed to block the revolving door with a wooden supply barrel by propping it between the center of the two doors, preventing them from closing, trapping poor Joe halfway in and out of the store. His legs were wiggling, and his ass was sticking out on Cadence's side as she prepped the wooden paddle. "No! No, no, no, no, no! I don't want this to happen to me. Mortimer, help me!" "Consider this as a learning experience for you, Joe. You'll learn to be much more cautious next time." Joe's face had turned ghost-white as he silently prayed for a miracle. The paddle was coming in hot as it made contact with Joe's backside. KA-SLAP!!! The sound equal to that of a gunshot was heard as Joe was in silent agony for that moment in his life; he felt actual pain beyond his darkest fears. Then it came out, his anguished screams. "Aaaughhh! Dear God almighty above! This hurts so badly!" "Nobody, and I mean nobody, gets in the way of me and my churros!" She slapped his ass with the paddle again, making it numb and sting badly. KA-SLAP!!! "I-I can't feel my ass or my legs... Mortimer! Help me out of this door!" "Well, Joe, my only regret now is that I didn't snatch a bag of popcorn while in there. This is the best amusement that I've had in years." "M-Mercy, boss. I'm begging you here." "Alright then, Joe. I'll bail you out of this, just this once. But after that, you'll be on your own, understand?" "Y-Yes, boss. Thank you." Joe's teary-eyed face met Mortimer's as he grabbed Joe's hands and pulled his body free right as Cadence went in for a third slap, hitting the door instead of her intended target. "Hey! You bring him right back over here, right now!" "Alright then. Watch it, you harlot. Stand back! I've got pepper spray, and I'm not afraid to use it, either." "Like that's going to save you two from me!" Then he sprayed it into her eyes as she was blinded and backed away. "Aauugghhh!" "That's right, you bitch. Back away, or else I'll do it again. Let's go, Joe!" Cadence was in a blind fury, unsure of what pepper spray was until now, and from this point onward, she will never forget it, either. Those two managed to slip away; this did not even please the loving princess. Charlie was hobbling over to her to calm her down. "Cadence? Cadence! It's alright now; you chased them off. Relax. Deep breaths!" "Arraaughh! I hate those two so badly! My eyes... they burn!" Charlie took out a rag and a water bottle to get the rag wet and then gently rubbed her eyes to clean them so she could at least see them move around. Then, he hugged her, and she began to feel better. "I know, Cadence. But it's over. Okay? You beat them. Now relax; I got you." Then, Cadence began sobbing and leaned her face into Charlie's left shoulder to cry. "Hey, Cadence, I'll buy you as many churros as you want, okay?" This seemed to satisfy her entirely as she began to feel better. "T-Thank you, Charlie." "Yeah, those two always cause trouble. But let's get those churros and head back so you can relax for the rest of the day." Meanwhile, Twilight was still sleeping in from some of her overnight reading; Luna had to jump onto this opportunity and draw a washable black marker on her face. While quietly giggling, she began with the classical curly mustache on Twilight; her goal was absolute perfection. Celestia watched from the open door leading out to the hallway while she sighed and shook her head, disregarding her sister's actions, knowing that they weren't dangerous, just irritating. "Twilight's going to have a field day with Luna this morning. Or at least, what's left of this morning, anyway." Twilight's nose began to twitch slightly as she was somewhat stirred, but then she went back to sleep, causing Luna to continue working on her face. After the curly mustache, she went for the goofy eyeliner and the smiley face on her right cheek, and then, she was finished as she exited Twilight's Room and made it back out to the Living Room where Celestia was waiting for her. "You're aware she'll be angry with you, right?" "Verily, dear sister. If anything, that's exactly what I'm counting on." "Ugh.. why does my face feel all funny?" Twilight got out of bed to wash up. She looked in the bathroom mirror and gasped. "AArugghh! My face! LUNA!" "Oh dear, Twilight was having such a peaceful morning, too." "Not anymore; she isn't." "You've still got that cruel streak in you, sis. I'd be more careful that Twilight doesn't consider vengeance against you." "Oh, come on, Tia. How mean could she possibly be?" "You're about to find out right now, Luna!" Twilight had burst into the Living Room to confront Luna. She leered at Luna with venom in her eyes. "I can't have at least five minutes of actual beauty sleep, can I?" "Five minutes.. more like thirty, Twilight." "Umm, Lulu. Not helping your case here." Celestia chided in. "You better believe it isn't. This ink better not be permanent, Luna." "Or else what, Twilight?" "Or else... I'll do something mean to you. I don't know what it is yet. But you'll be the first to know when I think about it. And I don't think you'll like it." "Ha! You do not frighten me, Twilight." "Oh.. is that so? We'll have to see about that, won't we? And you'll never see it coming, either." Twilight was then content with being patient and waiting for the right time to strike out at Luna. "I want the whole lot of them!" Cadence looked at the barrel filled with them and was drooling at seeing them. She took all of them and put them in the cart as she thoroughly cleaned the shelves. "Oh man.. this is going to be expensive, but I made a promise," Charlie muttered as he pushed the cart to check out. Just as he feared, they were costly. There must have been about fifty churros in there. Each one dashed up to three dollars. "That'll be one hundred and fifty dollars plus tax. Is paper or plastic good for you?" The clerk asked Charlie. "Plastic will be fine, thanks." Charlie opened his wallet to put his card into the scanner so it could withdraw the money and the food would be paid for. After the beeping and then the cha-ching, out came the receipt from the register, and then the food was bagged, and they were headed out. "Oh, hey. You guys aren't still mad about.. well, you know?" "We caught who was responsible on our camera feed, and we have determined that you and your friend here were not the ones that caused the incident. Therefore, no action will be taken. Have a wonderful day." The cashier bowed respectfully as he waved us goodbye, and we did the same. "Oh my... I'm going to have a churro party, all to myself." Cadence was eyeballing those churros like they were life to her. "You can't wait until after dinner, huh?" "Nope. I may snack on a couple.." Charlie and Cadence had returned home, and they both entered the house. Then Charlie closed the door as Cadence transformed back into her alicorn self. Celestia, Luna, and Twilight saw the giant bags filled with churros. "Um, Charlie? What're in those bags?" "Churros, Celestia. All of them are churros." "And where are Cadence's eyes red and sore? What happened out there?" "You don't want to know, Celestia." Celestia's eyes began to glint as she addressed him further. "Charlie! You will tell me what happened right this instant! If one of our beloved friends were ever harmed, I want to know about it." Celestia began to have an angry white aura around her that said, 'Don't fuck with me.' "Okay, alright. We were in a fight. Well, kinda." "Oh. I bet you Cadence kicked some serious flank out there." Luna interjected. 'Oh. you don't know the half of it, Luna.' Charlie glanced over to Luna. "Let's just say that nobody ever gets in the way of her churros." Charlie then fixed his gaze on Celestia and said. "She got pepper-sprayed in her eyes by both Mortimer and Joe. Well, Mortimer. Joe got his ass whipped in the revolving gate. That was funny." "Don't worry, my babies... momma's got you." Cadence was hugging the bags of her churros in an almost creepy fashion. "Oh yeah. Well, you better not spoil your appetite for dinner. There's supposed to be plenty for everyone." "Don't worry about it, Charlie. I'll be a good girl. I promise." "Yeah... sure." Cadence entered her room with all the churros and hummed a happy tune. "Alright, my pretties, it's just you, me, and all the time for us to spend together." Cadence began digging into all the churros, not showing any quarter to them. A few hours had passed, and it was now dinnertime. Cadence hasn't left her room in nearly four hours. "Hey, dinner's ready. Where's Cadence? Is she still in her room?" "Yep. I think she still is, Charlie." Twilight piped in. "Oh, you've got to be kidding me." Charlie went to check on Cadence; he opened her door and was shocked at the scene before him. "Oh, my god..." Cadence was lying on her bed as she burped out and groaned with a bloated belly filled with churros. "Ughh... too many sugary sticks. I picked a fight that I couldn't win.." "C-Cadence? You ate all of them, didn't you?" "Oh, dear. I can't watch this." Twilight left the room as Luna fell onto her back, laughing hysterically. "Luna! It's not nice to laugh at somepony else's expense." "I'm sorry, dear sister. But I guess she's living large now." Cadence's stomach gurgled, making her groan. "Please, Luna... no puns, not even the bad ones," Cadence whined from his full belly of sugary fried and twisted dough. "Luna, you're pushing your luck here. Now apologize to Cadence right now!" "Yes, dear sister. I shall do this at once." Luna approached Cadence. Unfortunately, she was facing Cadence's butt and had a light blush as she began apologizing. "Alright then, Cadence, I'm sorry-" Bbbrrpptthh! A gassy pink cloud of sulfuric gas hit her square in her face and blew back her mane as she gagged and reeled her head back. "Bleugh! I'm sorry that I insulted you. yuck, that reeks!" This caused Cadence to lightly blush as she saw Luna collapse onto the floor, gagging. "Oh, dear... I'm so sorry about that, Luna." "Hmm. Maybe that'll teach her not to be too mean. I guess her ending stunk." "Ugh. N-Not funny, Tia." "Oh, come one, that one was good, and you know it." "Well then. I guess it's safe to say you already had dinner, Cadence. I guess you'll have to sleep it all off." Charlie said with a sigh. "Unfortunately so, Charlie. You did warn her not to spoil her appetite, didn't you?" "Yes, but what's done is done. I hope everyone else here is hungry." Charlie looked at Cadence with pity. "I'm sorry, Cadence, but this'll have to be a lesson for you to learn." "Will you just get out of my room, please?" Cadence was very annoyed right now, especially with Luna and her antics. Everyone went to go and enjoy their dinner, and Cadence was left in her room to her wishes. "I hope you feel better, Cadence. Have a good night." Charlie said before he closed her door. And then he went to go and serve dinner to the other three and himself.
