Twilight's Great Coffee High

by Rainbowfan45

Rating: everyone
Tags: Random, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Starlight Glimmer, Spike, Comedy
Length: 2571

Twilight drinks coffee. Lots of it. Hilarity ensues.

Twilight is having a stressful day. A very stressful day. How does she deal with it?

With coffee, of course.

Lots and lots of coffee.

One stresssful day. A massive coffee intake. An already highstrung Twilight.

What could go wrong?

Published 2018-09-25 06:10:01 UTC
Last updated 2018-09-25 06:10:01 UTC

Never Overdose on Coffee...

Author's Note

I wrote this at midnight...

I apologise for any mistakes or outlandish stupidity. But in my defense, I was very tired, not to mention half asleep...:ajsleepy:

Never Overdose on Coffee...

"GAAAAAAAAAGH!!!!"

The loud scream of frustration and rage rang out across all of Ponyville, helped along obligingly by the Canterlot Voice. Spike cringed and dodged as books went flying here and there in the library.

"Oh where is it??! I know I put it here!" Twilight growled. "Spike!!!! Where's my Equestria Encyclopedia Volume Six?!" Spike wasn't sure he wanted to answer that...given the fact it was lying in plain sight on her desk. Thankfully, he was spared that task when Starlight, having heard her mentor's yells, came running.

"Twilight?" She asked. Twilight spun around.

"I don't know why this has to happen! Today of all days! I have important reports to draw up that must go to Celestia THIS VERY DAY!! GAAAAH!" Starlight winced. "I can't find my Equestria Encyclopedia Volume Six!!!!!" Books started flying again. Starlight looked at Spike, who pointed at the desk. She looked and grimaced as she saw the book there.

"You gonna tell her or am I?"

"M...maybe you should do it." Spike said. "You can teleport out of her way if she throws something." Starlight rolled her eyes.

"Gee, thanks." She took a breath. "Twilight? Your book? Its on the desk..." Twilight froze, blinking. She slowly moved to her desk and stared at the book in question.

"But...but I put it..." she sputtered. She looked very, very weary.

"Twilight, how much sleep did you get last night?" Starlight asked, arching an eyebrow.

"Oh I got enough." Twilight said. Starlight's eyebrow moved higher. "Ok! I didn't sleep at all! I couldn't! I have reports to write, so I was studying!" She groaned. "I have to stay awake...Spike! Bring me some coffee! Please." Spike did as he was asked, carrying in a large pot and pouring a cup for her. She downed it rapidly, and the two watching her thanked Celestia that it obviously wasn't that hot. Twilight then proceeded to drain the contents of the pot directly into her mouth.

"I don't think that's a good idea." Spike muttered.

"I don't either." Starlight replied. Twilight drew a deep breath and smiled at them.

"Why don't you two go...do something." She said. "I have all these reports to finish." After a look at each other, the two of them left the room. "Great! Now I can get to work!"
*********************************

Spike and Starlight walked outside the castle and made their way to Sugarcube Corner.

"I have a horrible feeling we shouldn't have left her alone." Starlight said, uneasily.

"Me too." Spike said. "But she's only writing reports. What trouble can she possibly get into with that?"

"You're forgetting the big pot of coffee she just drank." Starlight said. "I hope it doesn't affect her too much." They arrived at the bakery and went inside.

"Hi!" Pinkie Pie greeted them cheerfully. "Did you guys hear that scream earlier? It was really loud! Like, all across Ponyville loud! Boy, Twilight must have been mad today!"

"You could say that." Spike said. "Two of your biggest cupcakes, please. One with extra gems." Pinkie giggled and quickly filled his order.

"And here's a cinnamon roll for you, Starlight!" She said, hoofing it over. Starlight accepted it eagerly. She and Spike took a table to enjoy their treats. As they sat there, Rarity entered, followed closely by Applejack, Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy. The ponies ordered various sweets and took chairs around Starlight and Spike.

"Say, did you hear Twilight scream earlier?" Dash asked, before biting into her cupcake.

"I certainly did." Rarity said. "I must say her Canterlot Voice is in perfect working order!"

"Eeyup!" Applejack agreed. "Ah heard it in the town square. She sounded mighty mad!"

"It scared my animals, it was so loud." Fluttershy said. "I hope she's ok now." She looked to the two non royal residents of the castle.

"I hope so." Spike said. "She didn't sleep last night, and we left her writing reports. We should probably get back soon."

"We'll come with you!" Pinkie said, bouncing over. "If she's sad, we'll cheer her up!"

"Yeah!" Dash agreed wholeheartedly. Starlight and Spike exchanged glances.

"Maybe you should come along." Starlight said. "Twilight was in a bit of a panic earlier."

"Yeah, I think we all heard her 'bit' of panic." Dash said, grimacing. "But don't worry. We'll come help straighten her out!" The others nodded as they set to quickly finishing up their treats.

If only they all knew just how much 'straightening out' they'd have to do...
***********************************

As the group approached the castle a short time later, Spike took the opportunity to speak.

"So, if she's still upset, we all talk to her. And if talking doesn't work..."

"Ah got mah lasso." Applejack said.

"I don't think we'll need that." Starlight said. "Twilight should be pretty calm and focused on her reports right now." They were at the castle door. "I don't think-" A loud crash interrupted her, followed by thuds and bangs and all kinds of racket accompanied by shrieks and squeals. Nopony hesitated. They all barged inside and stopped dead in their tracks, gapingnat the scene before them.

Twilight was zooming around the halls, knocking things down, bumping into the walls, and shrieking with glee. As she did loops and twirls, she caught sight of her friends and squealed.

"Hi!" She cried excitedly."Look! I can fly!! Wheeeee!" She took off shrieking down the hallway.

"What the hay was that?" Applejack asked.

"Uh..." Spike paused and they all winced at a monumental crash somewhere in the castle. "I have no idea." Twilight came zooming back then, nearly crashing into them.

"Wheeeeee!" She squealed. "So much fun! Lets play! Come on!"

"What about your reports?" Starlight asked. Twilight giggled.

"What reports? Silly Starlight! Those are no fun! Come on! Race!" She looped and twirled.

"Oh boy." Spike said. "I think we have a problem. Twilight, what did you do?"

"Nothing! I'm flying! Wheeeee! Ooh, Spikey! You should make snacks for our guests! Take it to the library! Whohoooo!" And she was off racingbthrough the halls and bouncing off walls. The others groaned and headed to the library...where they froze yet again.

"Sweet Celestia!" Spike gasped. Coffee cups galore were scattered everywhere, along with several coffee pots. "I didn't even know we had that many coffee pots!"

"How much coffee did she drink, for Celestia's sake?!" Dash burst out.

"From the looks of this room," Rarity said. "Quite a good deal." A loud crash and gleeful shouts carried in to them.

"Wow! I have a tree in here! That is sooooo cool!!!" Everypony looked at each other. Finally, Dash spoke.

"What do we do?"

"Well," Starlight said. "We've got to get her to land somewhere before she single hoofedly destroys her own castle." Twilight zoomed in, looped, and flew all around the room, bouncing off the bookshelves. Starlight sighed.

"Twilight? Twilight, could you please come down here?" She asked.

"No!" Twilight yelled, giggling. "I wanna flyyyyyyy!" She thudded into a bookshelve headfirst, but bounced off of it completely unfazed.

"Twilight, darling," Rarity tried. "Please come down before you hurt yourself."

"Not gonna! I'm gonna fly! And jump! And whoosh!" Twilight followed that up by literally whooshing out of the room.

"Ok. Asking nicely did not work." Starlight said. "Dash, Fluttershy, do you two think you can fly after her and bring her back?"

"Ah could lasso her." Applejack offered.

"We got this, AJ." Dash said, as she and Fluttershy took wing and flew after their completely caffeine crazed friend.

"Wow! This place looks like there was a great big party!" Pinkie said, giggling. "Hey, Spike! Maybe we should clean up so when Twilight isn't such a crazy daisy pants, she won't be mad." Spike started to pick up the scattered books. At that moment, there were crashes and bangs and booms and Dash could be heard yelling furiously,"Twi, get back here!!" This was followed by more crashing. A moment later, Dash and Fluttershy both came crashing through the library wall and dropped on the floor, dazed.

"Are you ok?!" Starlight asked, helping them up. Dash scowled.

"Applejack." She said. "We need your lasso."

"Oh dear." Rarity said, as Applejack obligingly followed the other two from the room.
***********************************

A full twenty minutes later, a kicking, screeching Twilight was hauled into the room and tied to a chair. Dash, Fluttershy, and Applejack were completely breathless.

"There! We got her! Now what?" Dash huffed.

"I'm gonna get away, I'm gonna get away!" Twilight chanted. Her horn lit up and there was a pop. "Heehee! See??" The others just gave her annoyed looks. She looked down and giggled. "Oops." She gad only freed one leg. Another glow of her horn freed the rest of her and she started flying around, doing tricks.

"Oh fine, fly, then!" Dash groaned.

"Now what do we do?" Spike asked, watching Twilight zip and dive and twirl...and crash into stuff.

"I guess we wait for this to wear off." Starlight said with a sigh. "Meantime we keep an eye on her and try to keep her from destroying everything." Twilight zoomed out the door and crashed into a table, knocking it over and breaking the vase that was on it. Spike sighed and went after a broom.
***********************************

It had been an hour. Twilight was still as high as a kite on all the coffee she had had, and to top it off, had gotten into a bunch of cupcakes Pinkie brought and ate an entire box. So now she had coffee and sugar running through her and making her both very hyper and very loopy...similar to what might be happening had she taken too much medication or drunk too much cider. She weaved and wobbled as if drunk, giggling, crashing, breaking things. After the tenth vase, Spike threw up his claws.

"She's gonna be so mad!"

"Well, then, we'll tell her it was all her fault!" Dash said. Twilight chose that moment to fly up and stand on the top of a self. She swayed dangerously. Rarity had had enough crazy antics. Adopting the tone reserved for her little sister when she was in big trouble, the fashionista directed it at Twilight.

"Twilight Sparkle! You get down from that shelf this instant!" She stamped a hoof for emphasis. Twilight giggled.

"Not gonna." She said, words nearly slurred due to the almost drunken effect of the coffee and sugar.

"Twilight." Applejack tried next, voice stern. "Ya listen up good. Get your flank down on this here floor right now! I ain't playin'!" Twilight just giggled hysterically.

"Don't make us count to three, missy!" Rarity said sternly. Twilight stayed where she was.

"Oh for..." Dash flew up and dragged the shrieking princess down from the shelf. Twilight escaped and flew right back.

"Twilight, please come down!" Fluttershy pleaded.

"Yeah! I'll give you a cupcake!" Pinkie offered.

"You most certainly will not!" Rarity said. "She does not need any further sugar in her system!"

"If you don't come down here right now," Starlight said, staring up at Twilight. "I am going to drag you down."

"Nuh uh!" Twilight giggled, sticking out her tongue in a manner closely resembling that of a petulant and defiant filly.

"Ok. You asked for it." Starlight's horn lit up, and her magic enveloped Twilight, firmly removing her from her precarious position and setting her on the floor. For a pony who had just acted so defiant, Twilight shockingly stayed. She looked at each of her friends in turn, then her eyes locked on Dash. She smiled an almost flirtatious smile and inched nearer to the pegasus, giggling softly.

"You're really, really pretty."

The comment was completely unexpected. Spike dropped the broom her was using, Applejack jerked her head up so fast her hat fell off, Fluttershy turned impossibly red as she gasped, Rarity looked ready to faint, and Starlight stood slackjawed. Dash turned red. Only Pinkie seemed unbothered as she munched a cupcake.

"Uh...thanks?" Dash said hesitantly. Twilight giggled put a hoof on Dash's foreleg.

"Really, really pretty. Maybe we could, I dunno, go out together?" Before anyone could react, Twilight gave the speechless Dash a quick peck on the lips. Dash shrieked and dove backwards. Starlight dragged Twilight back as she tried following her. The only thing that accomplished was getting Twilight to turn on her. Though not in the way they expected. Starlight squawked in shock as she found herself on the recieving end of a kiss from her mentor. It felt so...wrong! She pulled back and Twilight giggled hysterically.

"You coulda just asked for a kiss instead of dragging me off Dashie." She said. Her eyes gleamed. "Anypony else wanna kiss?"

Rarity uttered an unintelligable squeak and fainted. Applejack recovered her hat and dove out of harm's way. Spike yelped and flung himself behind a chair. And Fluttershy flew up to the top of the shelf they had pulled Twilight down from. Pinkie Pie, having finished her cupcake, bounced eagerly in place and waved a hoof.

"Ooh! Ooh! I do!" She said. Dash dove for her and dragged her out of the way before the giggling Twilight could get to her. "Awwww! But I wanted one! Oh well!"

Twilight giggled more and lifted off the ground. She was barely three feet up when she grimaced.

"I don't feel so good..." she dropped to the floor with a thud as the high she had experienced wore off, and immediately passed out.

"Finally." Starlight muttered. She levitated Twilight up and carried her off to her room. She returned pretty quickly and everypony worked in silence to clean up, heads still whirring at Twilight's behaviour.
**********************************
(Three hours later)

Twilight awoke with a slight headache and a rather upset stomach. She rose and made her way slowly to her library, remembering something about her friends being there. As she entered everypony looked at her, then away.

"Uh, do you feel better?" Spike asked.

"Yeah, I do. Other than a little headache and my belly isn't happy right now." Twilight noticed that her friends were trying to avoid eye contact. "What happened? I don't remember much. Guess I had way too much coffee and it really hyped me up before it finally wore off. I also remember cupcakes." Pinkie giggled.

"You ate two dozen of those!" She said.

"Oh. Well, that explains it. Massive caffeine and sugar intake. No wonder I don't remember much of anything. Guess I crashed pretty hard after all that." Twilight shook her head.

"You don't remember anything about how you acted towards us?" Starlight asked carefully. Twilight blinked, suddenly very worried.

"No. I don't. Why? What did I do?" There was an awkward pause, then Applejack, red faced, spoke.

"Well, sugarcube, it's like this..."

Fifteen minutes later, Twilight sat staring straight ahead, face a burning red. There was a long and uncomfortable silence. Then she took a deep breath.

"Let us never speak of this again." She said flatly. "Never." At ther nods, she took another deep breath and blushed even redder as the story of her behaviour went through her mind. She wanted to get rid of the images. They were too...disturbing. To say the very least.

"Spike. Please bring me some of the strongest cider you can find. Fast."