A disheveled stallion hurried about the ruins of an old guard tower bordering Equestria and the Griffin Kingdoms. The vines growing on the wall and the humidity against the walls created a nauseating stench of rotting plant. Barely any light managed to break through the canopy that grew over and around the tower itself, leaving the occupants to light themselves with oil lamps hanging on torch sconces.
"Yes, yes. Here. A bit of this and a bit of that..." the stallion hissed.
He grabbed several vials of dubious contents from a broken wooden shelf overtaken by rot and poured the contents into small a rusty cauldron hanging over a fire set in the middle of the small room. Stone stairs on their right of the boiling metal had long since collapsed and were dripping with a constant flow of water. The contents of the cauldron popped and sparked until the mixture of colors and ingredients became a solid, glowing orange. Clapping his hooves together and baring a wide smile the likes of which he hadn't gotten to enjoy for years.
"Sombra, stop this! Your plan is pure insanity! It will never work!" Celestia shouted.
She had her hooves tied up by magically binding ropes and chains. Sombra chuckled and stepped towards the cage she had been placed in.
"Stupid princess," he coughed. "You can wine all you want, but with this this inhibition ring around your horn," He poked her horn with his hoof. "there's no way you can get out." He scratched his dirty chin and smirked. "I'll take your place, and you'll be stuck here slowly dying and decaying. NOW GIVE ME THAT!" He ripped her crown off her head and threw it into the cauldron. "Good."
"But how exactly are you supposed to get your vengeance on anypony if you're pretending to be me?"
Sombra opened his mouth, but nothing came out. He started to think, his darting around the room, then he shrugged.
"Well, we'll cross that bridge when we reach it."
Celestia shook her head at him. The stallion's fur was matted in grime, dirt, spit from wild beasts, and slime. Only his mane and tail flickered and flowed as enlarged clouds of black smoke. Their movements gave them an aspect of life, intriguing Celestia.
"How did you even survive the Crystal Empire?" the princess asked him. "You were blown apart."
Sombra dropped the long wooden spoon he was using to mix the crown into the potion. "Ah yes. That." He frowned then looked at the mare. "You blew up somepony who can turn into a smoke cloud." He widened his eyes and pursed his lips. "You don't see any issues there?"
"Then why didn't you come back."
Sombra angrily kicked the cauldron gently. "The Crystal Heart sapped me of my strength and prevented me from getting back in." A wide smile grew on his face when he reached into the seething, boiling potion and pulled out Celestia's enchanted crown. "BUT WITH THIS I CAN!" He hugged it close to his chest. "Although I'm going to Canterlot first. I need to...rejuvenate myself." He dipped his horn in the mixture then held the crown above his head with magic. "Here I go!"
Celestia's decorated chariot, replete with floral patterns covered in a sheet of fake gold and decorated with semi-precious gemstones of red, green, and yellow moved through the streets of Canterlot, accompanied by multiple guards both on the ground and in the air. One guard opened a parchment, cleared his throat and yelled aloud. "Princess Celestia has returned from her...uh...vacation."
The guards looked at each other then at the door of the chariot open up slowly.
"Greetings, my loyal subjects!" she bellowed at the top of her lungs.
The ponies that had gathered up alongside the white marble streets saw their giddy demeanor and wide smiles turn to confusion, fear, or absence of emotions altogether. Celestia looked far different. She had a massive smile with sharp teeth and fangs jutting from beyond her lips. She sported large black eyebrows above her sharp eyes. They were long enough to pass their roots and flutter in the wind besides her head. Her mane and tail, although pastel colored, was surrounded by a thin haze of black and ended in a large chunk of this same material only to eb off into a trail of smoke. Her white fur was unnoticeable darkened by a drab gray.
"Is that the princess?" one of the ponies wondered.
Celestia jumped from the chariot and stomped onto the ground, causing a quake that broke the ground and make everyone fall down.
"I'm glad to be back!" she cheered. "And I'm glad to see my people once more!" She leaned in and pinched the cheek of a crystal pony there by pure coincidence. She jumped back in her chariot and tapped the outside hull. "Take me to the castle," she ordered.
The chariot rushed off, leaving everyone baffled and with much to gossip about for the coming days. The chariot entered the castle grounds, its golden wheels blinding everyone around due to the elevated sun reflecting off the metal. Celestia didn't wait at all for the chariot to stop and burst through the door to land on the grass and take in a deep breath of the fresh, non-moldy air. She rolled around the ground, laughing all the while and bringing worried looks from her staff. A gardener approached the laughing alicorn and hesitated to call her.
"Is that the princess?" one of the guards mumbled.
"Yeah, it is...but...She seems different."
"I know. She looks all wrong."
The second guard waved his comrade away. "No. Somehow...better."
"Are you okay, Princess Celestia?" he asked.
The mare immediately stopped rolling around and glared the pony in the eyes. He felt like his soul was leaving his body, but it jumped back in when Celestia bolted towards him, grabbed him violently, and stared at his eyes.
"Where is the kitchen?!" she yelled. "I hunger!" She threw the stallion into a line of bushes yet-to-be trimmed. "Bring me food!" she bellowed. "My 'vacation' was less pleasant than I hoped for!"
"Uh...o...okay. Th-this way--" one of the guards gestured to the large castle.
The two were stopped momentarily by a shy guard giving a bouquet of yellow and red flowers to Celestia and looking at her with hopeful eyes. With a fang passing her upper lip and wide eyes, the mare put the flowers on the ground, raised the guard in her magic, dug a hole in the ground, then rotated the stallion and buried him head-first into the hole. His comrade rushed to him and started digging him out with his hooves once Celestia left.
"You shouldn't have done that, you idiot!" the first guard scolded.
"I'm not giving up so easily!" the second insisted.
Luna was crushed by the overhead cover of her bed, scaring her awake. "What? What? What's happening?!" Another quake moved about the furniture within her room, ruining her design tastes. "What is this? What is causing these tremors?!"
Her door slammed awake, terrifying her enough that her hooves punched through the ceiling, letting her 'roost'. The culprit was a bat pony. He looked around for Luna and became worried when he could not find her.
"Princess Luna?" he called out.
"Up here," the mare groaned.
"Oh...Um...your sister is back..." he announced despondently.
"Really?" The mare struggled to loosen herself from the ceiling but eventually took a large chunk of the rock with her on her fall down. Luna sported an annoyed scowl on her now white face. "Where is she?"
"In the kitchen." The stallion sat down, fiddled with his hooves, and avoided eye contact with the princess. "Eating with the staff."
Luna yawned and stretched her legs. "Well, I suppose she is going to be hungry after such trip, but what were the tremors?" she asked while brushing the dust off of her.
The guard continued averting her gaze. "Your...sister."
Luna stared at the pony with a disgruntled expression. "What."
The princess was sitting at a long table wooden with several staff members. The room was decorated for commoners, rather than royalty and dignitaries. A carpet underneath to catch any lost foodstuffs, and a large clear window behind Celestia engulfing the whole room in light. The only decorations present were a few potted plants in the corners and a poster of the mane six on Celestia's left. The staff were eating a salad of various salad leaves and vegetables, such as tomatoes and peppers, all covered in a golden salad dressing and sprinkles of salty seasoning. While the workers were enjoying such a delicious meal, they eventually noticed Celestia -and her new form- looking at the bowl with a certain distaste. She would bob up and down, analyzing the contents and causing her eyes brows to flutter along with her.
A mare closest to the princess leaned forward. "Are...you alright, Princess? Is the salad not to your liking?" she asked.
"Hm? Oh!" Celestia's eyes shot wide open. "No, it's not the salad." She leaned towards the side poked a pointy metal object next to the bowl. "What is this...thing?" she asked. "Some kind of weapon."
The mare blinked slowly. "That's a fork," she said.
Celestia seemed impressed. "Aaaaah." She balanced it on her hoof but almost dropped it, scrambling maniacally to catch it. "And what does this...'fork' do?" she asked.
Not looking away from the princess, the mare grabbed her fork, stabbed her salad hard, causing her area of the table to shake, then shoved it into her mouth. Unfortunately, she underestimated the quantity she was going to catch, an thus had a face covered in leaves, and yet she remained unblinking. Amazed, Celestia 'oooh'd at the scene and carefully proceeded to do the same. She paused with her face full of leaves, but by the first chew, her eyebrows drooped and tears flowed from her eyes. The staff was becoming concerned.
"Celestia, what's wrong? You act like you haven't had a decent meal in ages," a stallion said.
The alicorn had great difficulty swallowing her food, but she reveled in every moment of it. "I haven't," she replied through her tears. She took another bite. "Mmm. It's crunchy this time."
One of the ponies leaned in next to their colleague and harshly whispered. "Why the Hades is she eating part of the bowl and liking it?"
"I guess she was dieting?" the other pony shrugged.
A chef rolled into the room pushing a metal tray carrying a large silver dome and several much smaller domes around it. He magically placed them on the tables in front of the ponies along with tiny forks and, when Celestia received hers, he removed the lids, revealing pieces of colorful cake. With a bow, the chef left the room as his ego was filled by the amazement of the ponies awwing at the his pastry work. Celestia, however, was hesitant. She eyed the cake with a glib expression, constantly moving left and right to better see every angle of the three-floor desert. The conclusion was to shake her head.
"What is this colorful, towering monstrosity?" she wondered aloud. "I do not trust it," she commented in the deepest voice she could muster. "Nothing this big and colorful is normal." She rubbed her chin. "It must be hiding secrets."
The mare from earlier facehoofed, bring Celestia's eyebrows to attention, then their owner herself. Seeing the ponies cutting pieces of cake with their forks and eating them, proceeded to do the same. However, her outlook of the piece was not with sparkling desire but disgusted reluctance.
"I might as well while I'm here."
The ponies around watched their strange princess take a bite of the cake and reluctantly swallow. Her face remained unchanged, still sporting great mistrust to the cake. They were about to call the guards when she smashed her face into the cake and started devouring everything. They shrugged off the behavior.
"It's Celestia," one said.
The others agreed openly. The alicorn finished, panting heavily from exertion and sugary enjoyment.
"That was great! I've never had anything like it!" she cheered.
"You never have," a pony sighed.
The mare looked at her dirtied state and sniffed herself. "I need an escort to the baths," she said.
"Sister!" Luna yelled. She flew in for a hug but backed away in disgust for MANY reasons. "S-sister? It seems your vacation has seen you worse off."
"Yes, and I require bathing!" Celestia shouted. "Please, help me find the nearest wooden basin to fill with warm water."
"...What. We use pipes," Luna said in a monotonous voice. "Where exactly WERE you?"
Luna was pulled from her aerial 'perch' towards her sister by means of magic, and the closer she got, the most unnerving and pressuring the atmosphere around her sister became. "In a dark and terrible place where food isn't present and bathing is a distance dream," Celestia said in a raucous voice. Luna was clenching her muzzle the whole time.
"Fine," she agreed in a nasally voice. "It's upstairs."
They were stopped by a guard covered in wet dirt glaring at Celestia with a determined expression. He brought up a piece of pie to the white alicorn. "I made this for you!"
While Luna found it extremely cute, her sister retained the same expression she had earlier. She grew the pie to twice the size of the pony and dropped it on him, letting the two leave despite Luna's protests. The guard burst from the top of the pie and cursed. "I'm not giving up that easily!" he shouted. He licked the purple juices then spat them out almost immediately. "Too much sour."
While the two walked the pathway, Luna couldn't help but notice her sisters new features.
"When did your eyebrows get so big?"
Celestia stroked them, curling them up properly. "I've always had them. I just shave them, is all," she stated proudly while passing a hoof through her mane.
Luna leaned back to get a better look at her sister's mane and tail. "And what about your mane and tail? How did you this happen?"
"It's part of why I need to shower," Celestia explained. She was starting to sweat, and her sharp smile was breaking.
"But we've never had this happen to use before." Luna was suspicious.
Celestia groaned. "What is this, the Three Little Boars and the Big Bad Timberwolf?" waaaaaaaaaaaaaagh!
"N-no, but--"
"Then let me bathe in peace. I need a good cleaning before I can talk with you." She poked and prodded her fur and frowned. "So dirty, it's gross."
The bathroom was a large chamber more akin to a spa. The floor, walls, and bath tub were covered in blue tiles. In the middle of the room was a large rectangular protrusion for creating steam like a sauna. A ring of grates surrounded it in an indentation, allowing all water to flow into them and be directed outside. Slideable glass doors led to a balcony outside and let in a great amount of light. Of course, the glass doors were only one-way, so no one could take a peep inside.
"There's you are. Have fun," Luna said with a wave of her wing.
When the door closed, Celestia was left to her own devices and climbed into the bathtub large enough to accommodate her size if she laid down fully in it. She stayed slumped in there for a while before actually starting to think.
"There's no water in here." I an attempt to sit up, she clonked her head against the faucet of the bath and yiped in pain, rubbing her head. "What is this thing?" It took her several minutes to even think of pushing or pulling the handles on either side.
First she turned the left handle and screamed at the scathing heat. Then she turned the right and screamed at the freezing cold.
"Can I...turn them together?" she wondered aloud.
After even more time trying to figure out how the water even worked, Celestia was now a content 'mare', sinking into the warm water, letting the soap she poured into it destroy the muck and grime in her fur.
"I missed this..." she cooed. "Comfy womfy." She sunk into the water, air escaping her muzzle and creating bubbles at the surface. The silent comfort was ruined by her bursting out from the depths, throwing soapy water everywhere. "I need some rubber ducks or something to play with in here!"
While keeping her upper head at the surface of the water like a crocodile, the mare's eyebrows fluttered from a disturbance. A commotion outside ruined her focus and forced her to stomp upon the balcony and shout down. "What's going on here?!"
She floated down to the ground to see a crownless Celestia next to Luna, both surrounded by guards. Sombrette's sharp smile came back in full force. Before the guard from earlier could intervene, she grabbed him and threw him in the bushes without even looking at him.
"I see an imposter is here," she mused as she paced around the real Celestia. "Guards, arrest this pony!" she ordered them.
"But...which one is the real Celestia!" one of the guards shouted.
Everyone looked at him with a blank stare, leaving Luna to casually slap Celestia's crown off of the imposter's head, undoing the spell and unveiling Sombra.
"Uhhhh..." he muttered. He slowly tapped his body, but when he reached his head, he was shocked. "NO! MY BEAUTIFUL EYEBROWS!"
That was all he could say before Celestia blew him up, throwing pieces of him into the horizon.
"I take it you've had a less than enjoyable 'vacation'," Luna asked.
Celestia shook her head. "That's an understatement." She grabbed her horn and wiped some dirt and Sombra off of it. "I'm just glad to be back."
Curious, Luna asked her sister a question. "I assume he trapped you, considering what he had on his head, but how did you escape?"
"I--"
The second Celestia put her crown back on, she turned into a feminine version of Sombra whilst still retaining her pastel colors and some white in her coat, leaving her completely stunned. Luna pursed her lips into a fake smile and leaned down to the shrunken pony.
"Looks like it works both ways, then."
