After the Play.....
Get Rid of Guilt
Load Full StoryAuthor's Note
This is what I envisioned happening after the incidents in the MLP episode "Horse Play".
My apologies for any mistakes.
Get Rid of Guilt
Twilight dropped wearily into bed as Luna's moon played its gentle beams in through the window.
"What a day..." she groaned. "And night." She took a deep breath. Her "New Day in Equestria" play had actually turned out pretty well, thanks to Celestia's quick thinking and willingness to help salvage it...even after Twilight's behaviour towards her. Twilight winced. Even though Celestia seemed to have forgiven her for lying to her about her acting and then exploding in a wrathful volcano right before the play, she couldn't help but still feel guilty for the hurt she'd seen in her former mentor's eyes, and heard in her voice when she spoke about honesty, trust and friendship. She felt tears well up. Celestia wasn't just her mentor; she had been like a second mother to her. They had a very close relationship, and knowing she had damaged that...well, it just made Twilight feel even guiltier. She tossed and turned. Sure, she thought she was doing what was right, giving Celestia the chance to fullfil her life's dream of acting. And yeah, that part was ok. But then she had gone off track and lied, telling her she was "great" at acting. And she had kept lying...never mind the fact that Applejack had tried to tell her multiple times that she should be honest. And in retrospect, she knew all along the farmer was right. Obviously. She was the Element of Honesty. Of course she was right. Twilight sighed. If she'd only listened, she could have avoided the whole disaster. Even though Celestia had recovered from her anger and had laughed and joked after the play, Twilight couldn't help but think she was still somewhat hurt. She sighed miserably.
'How do I make this right? How can I get rid of the guilt? I want to know for sure everything is ok between us again.'
She lay there in the moonlit silence, mind going through the various books and articles she'd read on relieving guilt. Nothing seemed satisfactory. Then, just when her brain felt like it was going to explode, she had a thought slip in. One about her foalhood, and how guilt had been dealt with then. A lightbulb went off in her brain.
'I couldn't ask that, could I?? Well...I could. Its not like I've never done anything crazy before. And this, is kinda crazy. I don't know. Maybe I should get the girls' opinions? Eek! No! That would be embarrasing! But...well...I kinda need to know if this is nuts.' She sighed. 'I'll ask them over tomorrow and see what they say.'
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She invited them to breakfast. They sat around the table munching on haycakes with syrup, chatting about little things. When there was a lull, Twilight spoke.
"You know how I lied to Celestia and then yelled about her acting and hurt her?"
"Yeah, we all do." Dash said, rolling her eyes.
"Indeed. That was quite a mess." Rarity agreed.
"Yeah! It was super duper bad!" Pinkie piped up.
"Ah told ya to tell the truth to start with." Applejack pointed out gently.
"Um, it was, um, pretty bad..." Fluttershy said softly.
"I don't think I ever saw Celestia that upset." Starlight said.
"Yeah." Twilight said softly. "I know. I feel really bad about it. I know she didn't seem upset after the play, but...I still wonder if she's hurt. I need to find out. I need to make this right between us, and get rid of this guilt."
"An' how are ya gonna do that, sugarcube?" Applejack asked, as they continued eating. Twilight took a deep breath.
"I'm going to go talk to her." Everypony nodded in understanding.
"And then I'm going to ask her to give me a much deserved spanking." Twilight waited, watching their reaction.
Applejack froze, fork halfway to her mouth. Rarity and Dash choked on a bite of their breakfast. Fluttershy let out a shocked squeak. And Starlight sat with mouth agape, coffee cup hanging in midair in her magic. Pinkie was unfazed, and kept on eating. But then, that wasn't surprising. Nothing shocked Pinkie Pie.
"You're gonna what now??" Applejack finally said, not sure she'd heard right. All eyes were on Twilight, waiting. Twilight got up and started to pace.
"I thought about it all night." She said. "I need to make this right and get rid of the guilt, and then I thought back to when I was a filly and felt this way. My mom would spank me and I felt much better. Cleansed. Forgiven. And Celestia spanked me once for, ah, a spell I shouldn't have been trying but did and almost blew up myself and the entire castle library. And I felt better afterwards. So last night I thought I would march myself to Canterlot and talk to her and ask her to spank me." She turned to meet their astonished gazes. "Well? Am I insane?" Rarity was the first to recover her wits.
"Well, ah, darling, if this is something you feel you need, then I don't see anything wrong with it." She said.
"Ah honestly didn't expect this," Applejack said. "But Ah reackon Rarity is right. Tarnation, Ah've had them feelin's myself, an' not too long ago. Didn't act on it, but still. Ah understand."
"This is just weird." Dash muttered.
"I think if it make those awful nasty mean meanie feelings in your belly wellie go poof then you should go right ahead and do it!" Pinkie said cheerfully. "And then I'll throw you a party when you get back, with a special chair made of ice, just for you!" Twilight smiled at that.
"Well...um...not that...I ever had much experience...but, a spanking can help with guilt, so...so if you need it..." Fluttershy offered.
"I really don't believe I'm saying this," Starlight said slowly, rubbing a hoof near her horn. "But they have a point. I mean, I know first hoof how good a spanking is for getting rid of guilt, since I did get a few as a filly. And if you really and truly think you need one, then I'd go see Celestia." The others nodded. Except Dash. She stared hard at Twilight.
"You're serious, aren't you?" She said.
"Very." Twilight replied.
"Well, I don't know why anypony would want to ask for one." Dash said, rubbing her head. "Cause seriously? They hurt! But, I guess, if you think you need one to stop feeling so crappy, then, ok. I get it. Uh...I think. Anyhow, sure, Egghead. Go and do it." Twilight smiled in relief.
"I'm glad you don't think I'm crazy." She said.
"Actually, I do think that." Dash said. "But Element of Loyalty, remember? I'll have your back no matter what nutty decisions you make." She flashed a grin. "And going to ask to have your flank spanked? Nuttiest decision I've ever heard." Everypony laughed at that, then hurried to finish eating so Twilight could go to Canterlot.
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Twilight felt her stomach knot as she walked slowly to Celestia's private study. This was not going to be easy. Or fun. But she had to do it. She raised her hoof and knocked.
"Come in!" Celestia called out. Twilight pushed open the door and entered, closing it back behind her. "Twilight! What a nice surprise!" She rose to hug her. Twilight flinched a little, instantly raising concerns in Celestia. "Twilight?"
"I need to talk to you, Princess. About the play. How I acted."
"I thought we settled that." Celestia said with a slight frown.
"I can't shake the guilt." Twilight confessed. "I mean, I lied to you! After all you've taught me, all you've done for me, and I lied to you!" She sniffed, tears beginning to well up in her eyes.
"Twilight, I already forgave you." Celestia said.
"But I still feel horrible!" Twilight exploded. "I couldn't sleep, I can't focus on anything, and I feel like my chest has a huge weight on it! It hurts. I want it to stop. I need it to stop. So I came here. Princess, please...I need to make it right between us. To know for sure you forgive me. And I need to be able to forgive myself." Celestia was watching her intently. The pieces were beginning to fall into place and she was starting to understand why Twilight was there.
"What do you need from me, Twilight?" She asked quietly. Twilight paced for minute, then turned to face her.
"I...I need you to do what you did when I was a filly. I need you to help get rid of the guilt. I need...I need you to...spank me." She dropped her head, only just realising how that sounded out loud, and hoping Celestia wouldn't think she had lost all reason. To her surprise, a leg and wing draped around her, drawing her close in a gentle hug.
"Alright." Celestia said softly, kindly. "If its what you feel you need to stop being guilty, then alright. I'll do it." Twilight felt a mixture of relief and nervousness.
"Thank you." she whispered.
Celestia merely smiled and led the young alicorn out of her study and to the room still reserved for her, when she stayed. Twilight didn't protest. She knew what was coming would be unpleasant, but she also knew it would be extremely helpful in easing her guilt. Celestia opened the door to the room and led her inside before closing it. She went and took a seat on the bed, levitating over a mane brush.
"Come here, Twilight."
Twilight wordlessly obeyed, offering no protest as she was very gently guided across the Princess's lap. She gulped and dropped her tail out of the way. She felt Celestia's hoof press firmly on her back, and felt the cool wood of the mane brush as it rested briefly against her bared flank.
"Why are you getting this spanking, Twilight?" It hardly seemed fair to ask that of her when her mouth felt too dry to talk. She gulped again.
"Because I lied to you and decieved you." She confessed, laying limply in place. "I should have listened to Applejack and told you the truth. But I didn't. I chose to lie."
"Yes, you did. I was disappointed in that behaviour, Twilight. But I'm proud of you for coming to talk to me the way you did. That was brave of you." Celestia gently patted her back. "Ok. Are you ready?" Why did anypony ever ask that?! Who in their right mind would ever truly be ready to get their flank spanked? Twilight sighed.
"Yes, I...I am." Her voice was low. The mane brush was lifted away, only to come cracking back down a second later. Twilight jumped and Celestia tightened her hold. She fell easily into rythym, and the room echoed with the claps of the brush and Twilight's soft gasps and whimpers. She tried not to cry, but it was no use, and she dissolved into tears at the tenth swat. Another swat landed.
"Ouch!" Twilight yelped, the tears cascading down her muzzle. Celestia felt her heart clench at Twilight's pain. She hated causing it. But if Twilight was going to get the relief she wanted and needed, then she had to carry this out. She increased the force of her swats a little while slightly decreasing the tempo. Twilight squirmed a bit as the pain built up, but made no attempt to escape. She had asked for this. Literally. And it was helping. With each firm smack of the brush against her rapidly heating flank, a little of her guilt fled from her body. She felt Celestia's hold tighten further, then the brush connected sharply with her mose sensitive sit spots.
"Ow!" She yelped, the dam finally breaking completely as the first real sob tore itself loose from her throat. "P..p..Princess, I...I'm sorry..." Celestia rubbed her hoof gently on Twilight's back, comforting her, but did not let up on the spanking.
"I know you are."
This wasn't about Twilight apologising to her...she'd already done that. It was about her letting go of the guilt she was suffering and forgiving herself. She continued to raise and lower the brush, always mindful to watch her strength so she wouldn't harm her. Twilight was squirming harder now, desperate to avoid the blazing smacks raining down on her equally blazing flank...whether she'd asked for it or not.
"Ow...I'm sorry....ow!...pl..please...it...hurts!"
'Well duh, Twilight!' Her brain supplied. 'That's kind of the whole idea!!'
"I know it does, Twilight." Celestia said, gently patting her back. "I know it does." She could tell Twilight was almost at her breaking point, and gave her a little extra nudge by increasing her force slightly.
Twilight felt the last remnants of the crushing guilt slip away as she went completely limp over the Princess's lap and bawled for all she was worth. Relieved, Celestia dropped the brush and stroked Twilight's mane and back, mumuring soothing words of comfort and forgiveness. After a few minutes, Twilight regained some control and slowly struggled up off her lap. She found herself wrapped in Celestia's forelegs and wings. She nestled close to her chest, sniffling, willing herself to calm completely, enjoying the safety and warmth of the embrace. At ling last, they broke apart.
"Feel better?" Celestia asked, noting Twilight's clear eyes. Twilight nodded.
"Yes, I do. Thank you, Princess."
"For spanking your flank?" Celestia asked with a bemused smirk. Twilight blushed.
"Yeah, that too. But mostly for just being there when I need you." She said. "Even after I've been, as Rainbow Dash says, a jerk." Celestia laughed.
"You're very welcome." She said. "Now, suppose you head on home to Ponyville."
"Well, I do have to get back." Twilight said with a grin. "Pinkie promised to throw me a party, complete with a chair made of ice just for me." Celestia laughed again.
"Then get out of here and go enjoy it." She said. As Twilight headed for the door, she spoke again. "Twilight?"
"Yes?" Twilight paused.
"Everything is completely alright between us now." Twilight grinned.
"I know. I felt that."
And she took off back to Ponyville, completely light hearted and happy.
