My New Life as a "Normal" Unicorn

by Wild Wire

Rating: teen
Tags: Human, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Adventure, Profanity, Violence
Length: 1033

Hello, I'm Jake. I was a normal brony who was on the internet way to much, until I became a unicorn.

Hello, my name is Jake, and I'm just an average kid in high school. Well, I was, until I got sent to Equestria by Discord himself for reasons unknown to me. Now, I'm Base Template, a normal unicorn, and I totally lost my memories after the whole Discord incident. I'm planning on making amazing spells with my knowledge of human science and newfound ability to use magic to basically become a super hero.

I literally made one chapter and forgot about this, and I don't feel like doing more. I'm just canceling this, sorry.

Published 2019-03-03 09:40:01 UTC
Last updated 2019-03-03 09:40:01 UTC

Prologue

"Shit shit shit!" I cry out under my breath, nearly falling as I hop on one leg through the short white hall, toward the front door, all while trying to throw my other shoe onto my raised foot as I do so. The bus was almost here, and I wasn't ready. My alarm had not gone off for some reason, and my mom didn't wake me up as usual because she had an appointment to go to, so I woke up late. I get my shoe on, pull my bright blue jacket off the nearby coat rack, and throw open the door.

Then it hit me.

"Fuck." I whisper loudly, suddenly remembering that my mom only has appointments on Saturdays. I'm a fucking idiot. I think to myself as I sigh at my own stupidity, slowly closing the door back with a frustrated frown. That's why my alarm didn't go off. I put on my jacket even thought I'm not going outside, and walk back down the hall, staring down at the blue-green carpet below my feet. It's Saturday-

HONK.

FUCK! IT'S NOT SATURDAY IT'S NOT SATURDAY! I rush back to the door in a sudden frenzy after hearing the bus horn go off. Throwing open the door for the second time in less than twenty seconds, I jump out and sprint as fast as I can, hoping I don't miss the bus. Suddenly feeling glad that I decided to put my jacket on, I hop through the bus doors.

I greet the bus-driver with a simple hey, and sit down on the first open seat. I set my hands on my stomach, thinking about the breakfast I didn't have, when I then feel something in my right jacket pocket. I pull it out and find my grey 3DS inside, along with the folded black and red headphones. YES! Finally found it! I begin to ponder if my jacket is a good luck charm. I place my headphones onto my head for some peace and quiet, when I notice something odd.

It was already silent.

I didn't hear anyone talking, but it was so much more than that. It was quiet on the bus, and I mean there was no sound from a single living being but myself. No arguing kids, no phones with games open, just my breath and the sound of the engine roaring as the bus moved down the road.

I stand up a bit and look behind my seat to the back, my eyebrow raised, seeing no one else on the bus. It was only me and the bus driver. Suddenly a feeling of dread crawls up my back like a venomous snake, freezing me on the spot and making my breath hitch.

"S-Something is wrong." I whisper to myself, the feeling not subsiding one bit.

"Right you are!" I jump at the sudden male voice, one that just absolutely oozes over a thousand words such as 'flamboyant,' 'confident,' and 'mischievous.' But the scariest one is 'familiar.' Why is 'familiar' scary? Well-

"Guess who!" He yells from behind me. I turn back to the driver and-

"D-Discord!?" I involuntarily shout, frozen in place once more. There he was, the lord of chaos himself, wearing generic pirate hat with his horns poking through, turning the wheel in every cardinal and even some non-cardinal directions, at one point even pulling off the wheel, spinning it around, and putting it back on backwards, himself grinning as largely as possible as if it was a skateboard trick he was pulling. Miraculously, the bus has not fallen off the road.

"Right again! You must be very clever!" He cockily compliments, turning around to face me. The eagle claw on his left side shifts and moves across his body making it so both appendages are coming out of his right. Then, while he turns the wheel frantically with his lion paw, he proceeds to use the eagle claw to lift his hat above his head, his horns moving with it. He drops the hat, but it stays in place, floating.

"But how!? You're not supposed to be real, this doesn't make any sense!" I shout, my mind cracking at the seams. He groans in distaste at my choice of words.

"I am not going to use the what fun is there line, it must be so overplayed by now." He muses the end out loud, putting his tail up to his chin, before the end of his tail smacks him, making his head spin backwards to reveal another face with a large grin, the pirate hat finally falling back onto his head.

"Now normally this is the time I would take to introduce myself, but you already know me, so I'll skip that. In fact, lets just skip the rest of this conversation! Ta-ta!" He tips his hat down with his claw and releases the wheel with his paw to snap. My eyes widen.

"Wai-" I barely begin to speak, before I'm suddenly falling, to what is most likely my doom. Screaming at the top of my lungs, I feel that my body begins to break apart and shift as I fall, bending in unnatural ways without pain. The strong forceful winds whip past me as I fall, my face upwards, letting me know this is a fall I wont survive without a miracle, or some intervention of the divine variety.

I fall and scream and fall and scream, until I'm out of breath and even then I continue to descend. Call it a gut feeling, but I could tell the ground was close now, so close that I decided to brace myself before contact, my body no longer reshaping itself but still in an unnatural form.

Suddenly, I reach the ground, and...

...

It's soft and sticky? I think to myself, completely mentally exhausted. I turn my head to the side slowly, fearing the worst for myself. I landed in a pink tree? No, it wasn't a tree, tree leaves are not sticky... It was cotton candy.

I was in a cotton candy cloud.

"Heh." I snap.

"Hehhehhehhahahahahahaha!" I laugh hysterically, fearful tears running down my face.

And then everything went black.