Fallout Equestria: Stable 36

Sebright opened her eyes, staring up at the dark stable wall. Her eyes shifted to her pipbuck, nearly blinding in the darkness of her room, and the digital clock stared back at her, mocking her with the numbers.

2:00 am.

She knew she had an alarm set for six in the morning. Four hours to go, and then it would rouse her with a loud beeping, ready to begin the day refreshed after a solid night sleep. Only, for Sebright, there had been no sleep. She had gone to bed at her perfectly reasonable time of ten o’clock, dutifully showered and relaxed. She had even meditated and stretched, her mind and body well prepared for a calm rest just like her therapist told her to. Instead, she lay awake, listening to the voices in her head howl and argue, pulling out memories better left forgotten and parading them in front of her eyes as a reminder of what a dreadful pony she was. The hollow pit in her stomach that came with gnawing guilt for long ago transgressions, a sickness that roiled and flung her attempts at a sleep out the door.

Over and over she pushed away the thoughts, tossing and turning in her bed. It always seemed she would just get comfortable before her body would be itching to turn again, always seeking out the exact position that would lull her frantic mind into sleep. She knew time was slipping away faster and faster, ever approaching the moment when her alarm would blare and announce the day to begin. Her wings began to ache and she shifted again, catching sight of her alarm clock.

2:32 am.

That meant it was less than three and a half hours before she would have to rise, put on the ever fake smile she wore and somehow try to convince everypony around her that she wasn't slowly losing her grip on her ability to function as a pony. She knew they knew, could feel the silent judgement as yet again she made novice mistakes that even a foal fresh from the classroom wouldn't make. She tried to convince herself it was all in her mind, that those around her loved and supported her, repeating the mantra she was given over and over, screaming it inside her brain if only to silence her inner voices for a second. She shifted her leg under her pillow, her neck aching from the tension in her shoulders. She knew she had to relax, find a way to sleep, to distract her mind.

3:10 am.

Reading an article she had stored on her pipbuck, a story saved earlier in the week. Nothing too interesting, but enough of a lure to hook the voices in her mind and drag them into silence. For the most part. They still rumbled, occasionally breaking through with a particularly traumatic memory that sent stabbing pains of panic and remorse through her chest. Her eyes itched, dry from being awake so long. Her head was well and truly aching now, but if she got up to take any painkillers she would be awake completely and have no chance for even a moment of sleep. Sebright rolled onto her back, trying to loosen the ache in her shoulders and neck. She stretched in the bed, kicking her blanket off one hoof. The movement of her hooves in the dark lit up her pipbuck again, displaying the time like an accusation.

4:01 am.

Two hours. Just two hours is all she would get if she slept now. Sebright could feel her already frayed nerves beginning to twitch, knowing she would be exhausted on the morrow. She had to focus, she couldn’t let anyone down. Couldn't show that she wasn't alright, she had to be strong. She rolled over again, finally finding a spot that was cool and comfortable. She tucked her hooves under her and wrapped her wings even tighter, turning her body into a cozy cocoon. At last the voices in her head began to fade, bickering and niggling into the back of her mind where they were more easily ignored. The fog of insomnia had fallen, numbing her mind and body to everything around her. She began to doze, sinking at long last into the sleep she so desperately needed, fitful and broken but resting nonetheless. Occasionally her eyes would snap open to stare at nothing, her heart hammering, before sheer exhaustion would overwhelm what was left of her consciousness and pull her back under. At last, she fell into true sleep.

BEEP BEEP BEEP.

Good morning, Sebright.