Unexpected Premier

by Commander Joe

Rating: teen
Tags: Alternate Universe, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Violence, Princess Celestia
Length: 1377

The winds of revolution blow once more!

The art of running a nation is a delicate one indeed. One best handled by large ponies of the long lived kind.

A decent alternative would be scores of highly educated and experienced ponies, with complete and total dedication to their cause.

Stalliongrad used to have one of those.

Now they have Distant Light.

Cool person made art: https://www.deviantart.com/princesssaros/art/Throne-353194462

Published 2024-10-18 23:10:00 UTC
Last updated 2024-10-18 23:10:00 UTC

Help!

In matters of government, most ponies tend to think of the monarch (now diarchs) who guided Equestria from its tribalist inception thousands of years ago all the way to the present, where it stands as the powerhouse of the realm. Images of a beautiful and regal princess, calmly and carefully collecting the calls of her little charges.

Every instruction deliberated with care

Every order calculated and fair

Every policy vetted love from her throne within Canterlot above.

But this is not Equestria.

The great structure Distant Light stands in today is the White Cathedral of Stalliongrad. These ponies in charge are not the Princess Celestia of her home. As made evident by the shouting coming from across every desk in the assembly.

“We can't lower the rates you moron! How are we supposed to fund your blasted reforms if we can't pay for it!”

“You're the one who said we have to listen to the protestors! Always whining about not having jobs or some other petty thing! You'd think they would appreciate getting to relax for once in their dull lives!”

“None of you understand what is happening! Are we supposed to get control back if we cut the budget of the military that keeps them outside and us in here?!”

Light covered her head with her hooves as she lay in the corner beside the great wooden doors of the entrance. Its polished gold trim happily twinkled away without a care. her blonde mane flopped in front of her face while she quietly trembled.

“Please just let this end soon so I can go home! If the nobles are all like this I can't imagine how the princesses keep them in line…” She thought while trying to block out the incessant sounds of shouting and paper being strewn about the assembly hall.

“Although in fairness I would be stressed too if I were them. Hay, I'm stressed now!”

When she had first arrived five hours ago things had been normal…or at least what she assumed was normal anyways, since this was the first time she had been outside of Equestria. The guards outside the cathedral had been very nice to her despite being so intimidating. Their massive rifles and heavy, thick armor made it clear that anypony who wasn't supposed to be there would not have a good day. Light recalled thinking that if they had been patrolling the streets of her Manehattan home nopony would ever go outside!

Of course that didn't seem to matter much to the protestors that gathered after she had finally been let inside. She hadn't seen much of what they looked like beyond an angry mass of colors, pitchforks, and signs before she galloped further inside, attempting to avoid the mass of bricks and bottles being hurled through the windows.

And now here she was. Stuck in a fancy assembly hall with a bunch of ministers trotting around flipping desks, tossing paper, and shouting over the chanting crowds outside.

“Do you all hear that!?” A fearful minister shouted.

“Of course we do, you moron!” One of his peers retorted.

“Not the peasants you puke colored oat! It's coming from behind the doors!”

Light swished her mane aside to look where some of the government officials had pointed out.

“Somepony is galloping through the halls…a lot of someponies!”

The doors exploded with a loud “Crack!” and a thick black smoke billowed through. Bright metal shards shot about. Light yelped as a shared “ping!”ed off the marble just beside her.

A herd of ponies dashed through the doors and rapidly fanned out across the room. Light struggled to contain a whimper when she realized they were all carrying some manner of firearm, from old rusted pistols to very new, very dangerous rapid fire rifles. Much like those the Royal Guard would tout in all the recruitment flyers scattered across her home city.

“Your despotism comes to an end capitalist scum!” A deep red stallion yelled, an arrogant smirk beaming at the now petrified ministers. His rifle pointed at a stallion wearing some fancy black suit with white frills on the neck and hoofcuffs.

“Please! Don't shoot me! I have a family-y-yyyyyy!” He sobbed and prostrated himself in front of the intruder.

“Then you better do as the captain says!” Another armed pony yelled back with an almost coltish pitch in his voice.

Light quietly shuffled herself behind one of the desks, for once her smaller-than-usual stature being a boon rather than a hindrance for the earth pony.

From her position behind the desk she heard hooves clopping and bodies being shoved around.

“What do you intend to do with us?” A voice whispered just loud enough to be heard above the protestors outside. Or rather the rebels as it now appeared.

“We will do what you should have been doing from the start! The ponies call for freedom! The Stalliongrad Liberation Commune will answer!” The pony addressed as captain replied.

As they were leading ponies out of the assembly hall Light began searching for somewhere she could escape to without the angry militia spotting her. Another voice rose up. “Captain! They say they don't know where the general is!

“Their general?…how long has this been going on?! Dad never said anything about…any of this!...ugh what am I saying? he doesn't say anything about anything! And now he's gotten himself taken hostage by a bunch of would-be revolutionaries!” Light thought to herself.

They had almost finished emptying the hall when she looked over to the speakers stage, situated on the right side of the hall from the perspective of the entrance doors. Beside that stage she was what she’d been looking for. On the right side there was a small wooden door, with a sign above reading JANITOR. It wasn't a way out, but at least it would be a much better place to hide until this nightmare was over.

“Oh thank Celestia!”

Her spot behind the toppled desk put her in between the entrance and the small door about three gallops away. She could make a break for it, but her hooves galloping on marble would almost certainly alert the militia. She would have to take it slow.

“Okay…” she took a deep breath. “okay…just…just wait for them to look away…”

Slowly she raised her baby blue muzzle above the desk. Nopony looking her way, it was now or never…

Light creeped backwards towards her salvation, keeping herself facing the militia ponies.

“Further…”

“Further…”

She was just a few trots from the door when her hoof landed on something, she didn't get a chance to see it but her hoof slipped and she lost her balance.

“Nonononojustgojustgojustgojustgo”

She opened the door and only at the last second did she stop herself from slamming it shut, softly letting it “click”.

Light took several deep breaths of relief before sitting on her haunches. Then she locked the door, once again thanking the princess that whoever had installed it used a universal latch.

Now she just had to wait. Hopefully her father would be alright. She might despise him, sure, but that didn't mean he deserved to die! Maybe they would just…let him go? Maybe as long as he didn't make too much trouble? Or more likely they would keep him hostage somewhere…

To think she'd thought being a secretary was stressful! Light had never felt that kind of pure terror in all her life! Once she made it back home she was going straight to her apartment and not leaving again for a year!

Suddenly she heard the “Thunk!” of somepony attempting to open the door. Light barely stifled a gasp with her hooves while the pony outside tried again with a “thunkthunkthunk”

“Hey! This door's locked! Who keeps a janitor's closet locked?” she heard a mare's voice shout.

“Just smash the latch! Come on comrade, we have to keep looking!”

“I know I know! Just give me a second!”

“Oh no”

“Crash!”

“Nonononono”

“Crash!”

“Please…”

And with one last “Smash!” The latch gave way and the door floated open from the force of the bucking.

“Hey! H-hey everypony! I found the general!”

“...”

“...”

“wat”

Author's Note

Hello there! Thank you for coming, hopefully you enjoy the show :)