Fallout: Equestria - A Pair of Striped Wings

Walking through the maze of streets and alleyways of the city had been strange and oddly hypnotic when we were trying to reach the Ministry of Arcane Sciences hub. I wasn't actually sure how many days we had spent in the city, the time and the memories seemed to blur together and there were definitely a few gaps in there.

And somehow, when I was walking through the city this time it was worse.

Way worse.

This time the city was completely intact, and utterly devoid of ponies, birds, cats or any semblance of proper life. And still there were something here, something vicious, hostile, and hungry... Some part of me was sure that it was the same creatures as the ghosts I had ran into before, although whatever was going on in Vanhoover at the moment had changed them. They weren't even remotely equine, whenever I could actually catch a glimpse of them. For some reason they never attacked me, even if they were definitely hunting me, they seemed overly cautious, afraid even.

It wasn't just that I could see them hiding in the alleys, in the windows, on the roofs, I could feel them eyeing me. In the strange haunting light of the night sky they stood out like the full moon against a black sky, except it was entirely in reverse. The walls, the cobbled roads, even the water glittered in a variety of colours, while the nightmares were pitch black voids.

"The sky..."

Stopping, I looked up again. Unlike nearly all other ponies in the wasteland I had actually been above the cloud cover, and I had actually seen the night sky before. I knew how it was supposed to look like, a dark blue or violet backdrop covered with faint, shimmering stars and a transforming moon. The moon wasn't there, and even if it was a new moon I would have noticed it, with the constant glittering wherever I looked. All of the endless expanse above me glimmered in the colours of gold, white, red and blue. Somehow I had never guessed how many of them there were, still not entirely sure how, but in that moment even the faintest stars shone brightly, and the result looked more like a gleaming dragon hoard than the dark expanse I was used to.

There was some growling above me, not that I heard it with my ears, it was more as if I felt it in my blood. A vaguely equine head stared down from a roof, it had no ears and its lower jaw was unhinged like that of a snake, with two leg sized fangs extending out of it. The thing had no eyes that I could make out, but I could feel it sizing me up like a manticore encountering something new for the first time, unsure if I was prey or a threat.

There were two long limbs that I could see, both ending in a set of four claws, one of the limbs ripping through the stone of the roof, another gripping straight into the wall as it appeared to be frozen in the middle of a lunge or crawl downwards to the street, to the foolish pegasus below it.

These things clearly did more than take a little nibble of your soul, this horror of a creature intended to rip it apart and feast on whatever a soul is made out of. It was clear that this thing was a predator, nothing more, nothing less, it hunted, it killed and it devoured. It wanted to kill me, of that I was certain.

So why was I not afraid?

"If you don't mind, I am on the way to see somepony."

No reaction, either it couldn't hear me, or it didn't understand Equish.

"She is a Van Hoof."

That got its attention.

"Vaaaaaahnnn hooooof..."

It appeared to sound out the words as if it had heard them for the first time. Although if that was the case, why was it only reacting to those two words, and nothing else? It clearly recognized the name, and seemed puzzled by it. There was another thought that disturbed me a bit more than that. Why couldn't I hear it with my ears? And how was I hearing it at all?

Then it struck me, telepathy of some sort!

It moved slowly, turning around and crawling back up to the roof and disappeared out of sight. Trying to put it out of my mind, I was slowly realizing something else. At the time it was just a hunch, this city functioned along a different set of rules than reality should allow, and if there were telepathic nightmare creatures and dream walking alicorns around...

Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath and tried to sense things around me, like I sensed the wind when I was flying. To my surprise it seemed to work, there was something vaguely sentient about the whole city and I could get partial visions of various streets, buildings and other places in the city. And more than that, I could feel something else reaching out the same way, and it recognizing me.

Finally knowing where I was going, I turned west towards the harbor and the glittering sea. My aimless wandering in this urban maze was at an end, and I felt relieved to finally have a destination, then, still a new question formed in my mind.

Who was waiting for me in this weird landscape?

I could think of three possible ponies. I wasn't entirely sure which one I was hoping for, which one I feared the most at the moment, or if they would truly be ponies when I found them. Needless to say, I dreaded the confrontation.

***

The closer to the harbour I got, the fewer nightmares I encountered, and it wasn't difficult to figure out why. There was a constant pressure on my mind, not a really a voice, more of a ceaseless humming sound that was driving out my own thoughts. The closer to my destination I got, the stronger the pressure and the louder the noise became. If I got to the source, my mind would probably snap, but for some reason I was confident that it wouldn't.

When I saw the ocean for the first time I was terrified, with how alive it felt. This time, as it lay perfectly calm without the slightest wave or wind, things were different. Although I began to suspect what was wrong with it, as it stretched out to the horizon, glittering oh so beautifully. The sea was a reflection of the stars, of their magic and of their will.

Tonight however, the stars were gentle and soft in their light.

I could have stood there at the edge of the city for an eternity, transfixed by the light and bathing in the magic it brought with it. If not for a familiar voice interrupting my peaceful moment.

"Beautiful, aren't they?"

A little way behind me, at the very edge of the street, stood an old café from the days of the war, and there sat the only pony I could find, in an extravagant dress of purple and gold. A unicorn, with a dark grey coat and a mane that glittered like the sea and the sky. And yet she looked different somehow, taller, her horn easily twice the length, her coat was darker and something else that I couldn't put my hoof on.

"Are you the one doing this?"

"Doing what?" Her reply was filled with curiosity, and feigned innocence.

"The sky, the city, the nightmares." I made a wave with my wing towards the direction I had came from.

She decided to make a dramatic motion of closing her eyes and taking a sip of tea before answering.

"At the moment? Yes, and no. It is my spell that you are so persistent on invading, I for one merely intended to enjoy some solitude and nostalgia. It is not my fault that you are so disrespectful of my privacy."

There was no hostility in her voice, at all, which only gave me the impression that I should be more careful with what I say. This situation was... not normal.

"Hey, I have no idea how any of this works. And besides, it is only the third time."

"Fascinating." That tone I hadn't heard before, and I couldn't understand it either.

"What is?"

"This is the seventh time you intrude on my dreamscape, not the third."

I could feel my coat hairs stand on edge at that.

"What?"

"I wonder... Did you get attacked by any of the nightmares en route here? Spiritual wounds tend to cause amnesia as a side effect, death in particular rends your mind and spirit like little else. Of this, I know better than most."

At that, I blinked in confusion and hesitated before answering.

"If I did... How would I even remember it?"

"Valid point, I'll admit. Still, I am curious. And that, my dear, is an emotion I haven't felt in centuries. Just how are you finding yourself in here? To my knowledge you are not a Van Hoof, your mother never dabbled in the esoteric, and neither did your father. There has only ever been one pony who managed it before, and she is well and properly dead."

Seeing as this was going to be a long discussion I decided to sit down at the table, realizing that she had prepared tea for two. I took this as an invitation but before I could ask which pony she meant, she said in a cold quiet voice.

"That is not for you."

"No? Who were you expecting? The pony you just mentioned?"

"Luna? No, her pretentious highness died in Canterlot along with everypony else that fateful day."

Pretentious? Pot, meet kettle.

"And if she survived?"

She looked at me with a quizzical expression on her face.

"Then, I would have hunted her down and killed her."

I flinched at the words, unable to speak for a moment as she continued.

"Along with any other princesses or ministry mares that might have survived. Unfortunately, not one of them lived to see the results of their war. Death, is a mercy they did not deserve."

Not sure what to say I opened my mouth, only to close it again. And found myself looking away from her, there was pain in the words. While I wanted to protest, I didn't think it was my place to do so, I hadn't lived during the Great War and hadn't seen just how bad it had been. And in that moment I wasn't comfortable asking about it either, so instead I changed the subject.

"... Who were you expecting? If it wasn't me, and not Luna?"

At that her face turned from one of anger into an expression of sorrow, I could feel it resonating within me. There was... embarrassment at the question?

"I do not know... You have to understand that I am over two hundred and thirty years old, and I have forgotten much over the years. This spell, it is supposed to be the remedy for such a condition. There are so many gaps from before the balefire, things that I don't seem to be able to access. Possibly due to some form of mental block, or maybe temporal distortions..."

At that moment I got a strong sense of deja vu to the night under the full moon, where I met...

"Another question, the alicorn? Who is she?"

She frowned, and didn't seem to understand the question.

"Which one?"

I had thought that it was obvious from the context of our environment, although she seemed to be even more spaced out and confused than I was, which was a disturbing thought considering my recent memory gaps. So, I clarified in the most obvious way possible.

"The one your family secreted away, the one hidden here in Vanhoover. Dark coat, burning mane."

Blinking in confusion for a few moments, she cocked her head in that strange zebra fashion, that Xera kept doing, made a strange growling sound that was decidedly inequine, and asked in a cold tone.

"Why do you know of her?"

Not how, but why.

"I've met her" I answered plainly in an even tone, curious at how she would react.

Suddenly, I could hear the wind, and the waves. A storm was brewing, was the spell reacting to her mood?

"You met Amalthea, mother of alicorns? YOU of all beings, centuries after the death of Equestria??"

"Well, yes..."

The wind was practically screeching now, and the sky darkened as clouds began to gather.

"Do you have any idea, how many times I cried out to the stars, desperately hoping to get her attention? Only to be met with utter silence."

She took a deep breath, regained her composure, but the weather got worse, in the distance the sea began to growl as the waves twisted, rose and crashed down again. As a lightning bolt flashed in the distance, remaining in place far longer than it had any right to do. And then the next bolt, and the next.

No, I do not like the sea.

"No." I said as calmly as I could muster at the moment.

I expected a comment or interjection, but she remained silent.

"I don't know, I barely understand any of this. The Great War, Vanhoover, alicorns, why I am here, or why she visited me. All I know is that things have been... wrong since that visit, possibly longer. I keep running into memories, objects and people related to you. Related to you, Amethyst and Aurora. And some thing is messing with my mind."

At that I could sense that her anger was no longer directed at me personally, rather I sensed something I didn't expect at all. Of all possible emotions, she felt sympathy towards me.

"And everything falls into place... I can't kill you, and you feel animosity towards me. A frustrating mix, indeed... but perhaps you can understand my frustration with royalty, in part at least."

I gave a loud exasperated sigh.

"Please, explain."

And so she did, telling the story that every Van Hoof learns as a child. A story that I had only learned distorted fragments of, and how it related to the city, as well as whatever was happening to me.

***

"There was a time before Equestria, at least over twelve centuries ago, probably more. The princesses, the ones you think of when you hear the word, had yet to be born. At the time, the Wyldwood was considerably larger than it is today and just as magical. Within the woods lived a tribe of unicorns, not like the ones you know, not like your mother."

She paused as she took a sip of her drink, something I suspected was largely theatrical.

"These unicorns were... more fey, more ephemeral. There are two stories that I have found concerning the origin of our race, the first is that we descended from the night sky, dancing on the auroras, much like windigos do on the arctic winds. The other narrative, sounds more like something from a Zebrecian myth. With earth pony sorceresses seeking immortality, and reaching for the heavens in their quest. This theory, is disproven by the Van Hoof family tree. For over a thousand years, there has only been a single unicorn born. Me."

At the emphasis of the final word she looked me, daring me to ask a question that was obviously off limits. When I merely nodded and grasped my own cup of tea in my hooves, she continued. Her expression a strange mix of relief and disappointment.

"One thing that few Equestrians ever knew is that civilization is an earth pony invention. True, all sentient people formed tribes and traditions of their own, but actual civilization? When the pegasi flew wild, the weather followed suit, they lived on the clouds unworked by hoof or wing. It was the earth ponies that settled the land, built houses, cultivated farmland and more. The unicorns of the time preferred the forests, and unicorn woods were enchanted."

The unicorn that was in front of me paused and looked away with a nostalgic look in her eyes.

"It is unclear if the forests were magical because of the inhabitants, or the opposite. Although I suspect it was neither, both lived and flourished due to the rich astral magic in that particular area. You, no doubt, know of the zebra's idea that alicorns are cursed creatures of the stars."

I must have frowned because her tone shifted.

"They were right in a limited way, but only because of the unicorn blood within the alicorns' veins. All unicorns are capable of wielding the most eldritch of spells, their apparent inability or failure to do so is the result of a diluted bloodline and little else. At the time of this tale, every unicorn could rival myself or Glimmer."

"Excuse me?!"

The talk of diluted bloodlines rubbed me the wrong way.

"I mean no offense, neither to you nor your mother. Your eclectic bloodlines has its own benefits, that I suspect nopony has fully grasped the magnitude of. If you could put that aside for the moment, I want you to imagine ethereal unicorns, silently moving through a mystical forest underneath a starry sky. They did not build permanent structures of their own, but there was a stone temple from some bygone civilization deep within the woods. It was in this place that the beginning of the end came."

As I drunk the tea I felt the cravings for something sweet, and when I looked down at the table again there was a plate with the most delicious looking cake I had ever seen. Covered in whipped cream, strawberries and things I didn't even have the words for. It tasted even better than it looked. I was beginning to see the appeal of this spell.

I raised an eyebrow at that, she merely motioned with her hoof that I shouldn't interrupt her.

Her hoof was split in two.

"There was a cloaked figure, a pony of unknown breed, or perhaps a zebra now that I think of it. He appeared one day in the ruin, no one knew whence he came or who he was. The stallion, if he was such a thing, spoke of a great calamity that was to come to the Wyldwood. There were signs of an infection in the leyline that went through the forest, and one day those who lived in it would become corrupted and become dark phantoms of their true selves."

"The ghosts."

"Yes, but not quite yet. The unicorns were immortal beings, unable and unwilling to leave their enchanted woods. They were proud, and powerful like few beings are today, and decided to cleanse their home from the unholy corruption the strange stallion spoke of."

The storm was increasing in ferocity, yet we still sat in the middle of it. Completely unharmed, is this what the proverb Eye of the Storm means? As I pondered that, a bolt of lightning shattered a building a few streets over, sending bricks and rubble flying.

"On the day of a solar eclipse, they wrought a ritual like the world had never seen before. Dozens of unicorns, channeling the might of sun and moon into the nexus of the temple, and within that nexus stood a certain individual. A young unicorn sorceress, prepared to give her life soul as a sacrifice in order to complete the ritual. The raw energies of that ritual would be sufficient to break reality itself, should they wish it."

Her eyes looked at me expectantly, to gauge my reaction. My coat hairs stood on end as I very much understood where she was going with this, it was a mega spell matrix. Over a millennium before the Ministry of Peace rediscovered the concept during the Great War. And destroyed everything as a result.

"A mega spell." I said quietly.

"Indeed, it was meant to create a cleansing wave that purged the land of alien energies. The pony sacrifice was specifically intended to control and direct the magic, so that it didn't wipe out the very forest they wished to preserve. Except, something went wrong. Some say she heard the whispers of a star, distracting or tempting her. Others say that the unicorns themselves were already corrupted and not acting of their own minds, and yet others claim that there was something in the temple that inverted the ritual. Either way, the ritual was completed, and a creature like no other opened her eyes for the first time."

"I thought alicorns were a mix of the three pony kinds?"

"They are not, not in any way that truly matters. This is something that Sparkle and her ministry failed to understand. True, you can arguably create a powerful creature through such a hybridization if done correctly. The result would look very much like a true alicorn, and possibly be remarkably powerful, but it would be nothing like the true creature."

Creature, a choice of words that disturbed me more than it should. Was it that I liked the princesses that made me take offense, or was it something more profound, something concerning them that I didn't understand yet? I waited silently as she continued.

"As I was saying, there was only one pony left. It looked very much like a unicorn, except for its wings. Although there subtler hints at its true nature, the astral mane, the fangs that signified a predator, the eyes of a dragon. You claim to have seen her, yet I suspect she wasn't her true primal self at the time. An angry alicorn is a truly terrifying sight, when they drop the equine facade and let their rage rip apart everything, including the minds of those of around them. I... I have lived through it, and I do not care to repeat it."

Suspecting this was a sensitive, but important piece of the puzzle, I asked.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"No, I rather not..."

An uncomfortable silence followed, she didn't look at me. Trying to bring things back on track, trying distract her and avoid a potentially disastrous emotional breakdown. I really didn't want to know what sort of things could happen in this... Whatever this place actually was.

"This first alicorn, you said her name was Amalthea?"

She shook her head to clear her thoughts.

"Yes, although I do not know if she was the same as the young sacrificial unicorn, or if she was an entirely new entity created from the minds of those damned by the ritual. When she opened her eyes she was alone, cautious and confused, wondering whence everypony had gone. Then night fell."

"And the nightmares appeared?"

"Yes. Horrified at the sight she fled to the only other pony tribe she could think of. A group of earth ponies living in a glade by the coast, my ancestors. They had never seen a being like her, nor could they offer her any help on how to reverse the curse that afflicted her people. And yet, they were compelled to accept her. Not as a princess, but as a goddess made manifest. From her they learned magic they should not have, they became mighty occultists and sorcerers in their own right."

"And that is how your family became..."

"Eccentric? Evil? Infected?"

I winced at the words and kept my mouth shut.

"Regardless of what adjective you wish to ascribe to them, it would fit. A few centuries later, she returned from a long journey along with the crossbreed that had accompanied her. This in of itself was nothing out of the ordinary, except this time she was pregnant. She died in childbirth soon after, her final words being redemption requires sacrifice."

"Then, how did I meet her?"

"A ghost. This is Vanhoover, where the dead haunt the living. As it was, she had given up practically all of her magic for her two fillies, one white, one blue. Celestia, and Luna, the alicorn princesses that would unite Equestria and save it from untold disasters and threats."

She quieted down and filled up a cup of tea.

"There's more, isn't it?"

Slowly, she closed her eyes, opened them and looked straight at me, with golden eyes and draconic pupils.

"Indeed, there are. There is one thing that I have discovered from personal experience, alicorns are telepathic. When Celestia and Luna died, the spirit of Equestria died with them, and ponies that had lived their entire life touched by their magic were suddenly cut off. Pony civilization was built around the core of a god-princess subduing the wills and minds of her subjects."

"I don't believe you." I said coldly, not admitting that the idea was making sense in a way.

"Then don't. Point is, when Amalthea died, so did the telepathic influence she had held over the Van Hoofs for centuries. Their entire culture, their traditions, had all been created to serve her. And when she died, and they realized what had happened... They were repulsed by the foals and exiled them along with the crossbreed, a stallion named Starswirl."

That name I recognized.

"Starswirl, as in Starswirl the bearded? I thought he was just a unicorn?"

"Not by the standards of his time nor tribe. Anyways, the last bit of story you should know was when Luna realized her true power and became Nightmare Moon. To the Van Hoofs, that was when she truly became an alicorn, and once more they were compelled to follow her."

And with those words, I finally understood the Van Hoofs.

"What about Celestia? Could she turn into something like Nightmare Moon as well?"

At that, I saw something I wasn't prepared for. She began to cry, struggling to maintain a facade of being in control, and failing. Wiping away tears from her left eye, she answered with a broken voice.

"Yes, yes she could. Not willingly, but if forced to make that choice... she could have ended the war long before Littlehorn. I... grew up listening to this story, my mother always talking about how redemption requires sacrifice. So I sought to be that sacrifice, it failed. Instead of destroying the zebras, she abdicated, and Equestria was doomed to burn."

She looked like she rather not say anything else, then she looked at me once more.

"Ironic isn't it? Balefire is filled with necrotic infusions, infecting everything around it."

There was nothing I could say, so I said nothing.

***

We stood at a cliff overlooking the city from the southern side, it was a strange sight to see the buildings and streets rebuild themselves. Whenever I lost focus or blinked something else was changed, and the nightmares were barely visible in the distance, hiding in whatever shadows they could find.

Turning around I saw rolling hills covered in farmland, small groves, ponds as well as small cottages and the occasional mansion. The landscape was serene, although very much covered in ambient magic as I could tell. No surprise considering it lay between the city, the sea and the forest. Irregardless, it felt liberating to be out of the city.

A soft wind blew through my mane, as I pushed it out of my face with my hoof, I prepared myself and asked the question I had intentionally avoided until that point.

"You know what's happening with me, don't you?"

She didn't look at me, and began walking east, but she did answer.

"Of course I do, I have been through the same process myself. A long time ago."

My eyebrows furrowed at that.

"Do you have to be vague and cryptic about everything?"

She stopped, turned head and glanced at me.

"Why, yes. There is no reason to take on any roles or follow any societal rules within the privacy of my own mind, is there? And no, your presence here does not alter that fact. If you do not like it, you are free to leave, provided you are able to figure out how to do so."

"Ignoring that, you know what I mean. Please explain what is going on, how to fix it!"

She sighed.

"As you wish, provided you agree to watch a few things I would like to show you."

This was certainly a bit unexpected.

"What kind of stuff?"

"Memories, like the ones you would typically find in an orb. Including one related to your father."

It was an obvious bait, and a distraction. I didn't care for it, but it was a small price for advice from somepony who actually knew these occult things..

"Fine, explanation and advice first however. And that means you stop walking wherever we are going."

Where that was, I had a suspicion. Flood Town, or Tall Tale as the old school ponies called it.

To my surprise she turned around, sat down cocked her head. I had expected more arguing or at least an attempt to distract me, but there was an intrigued expression on her face.

"You really have changed."

I just stared at her.

"Short answer, spiritual possession."

For some reason, the answer didn't surprise me one bit.

"Like in the old zebra stories?"

"Gravely distorted by the superstitious, but ultimately yes."

"Should I be worried?"

Not that I felt worried in the least.

"Are you, worried that is?"

"No." I answered flatly.

"Then probably not. The problems related to such a condition stem from there being two, or more, psyches within the same individual, with different sets of priorities and values. The resulting... divergence of thought and emotion create friction and tears apart both spirits. And if it is who I suspect it is, the spirit within you is old and has very few things she truly cares about."

"Meaning what exactly?"

She hesitated for a moment.

"The term possession is misleading, you aren't being directed like a marionette. You are going through what I call a soul synthesis, the union of two souls into a new entity. It is how Amalthea first became an alicorn, and how... nevermind, I don't think you actually heard of Trixie. The point is, you are not really the same individual as a few weeks ago. I would say that I am sorry, but I suspect that you don't really care."

"You are right, somehow I don't."

"A part of you is older than Equestria, there is a certain equilibrium that comes with old age."

Turning my head I stared at one particular star in the west, shining brighter than all others.

"Will I turn into an alicorn then?"

"That is very unlikely, I suspect the fusion is already complete. And the zony Windstriker has a lot stronger will than the faint remnant of Amalthea. If it matters to you, the zony is largely the one in control. If you were to leave Vanhoover, her whispers would wither away unless you returned. She is very fond of the city."

I blinked rapidly, suddenly feeling more like myself again.

"If you never met her, how do you know that?"

"I know, because I am fond of it. Vanhoover was built with immortal beings in mind, a timeless city that would outlast the very stars themselves in due time. If you were to detonate a balefire bomb within it, the city would still stand. It wouldn't be healthy or sane, but it would remain stubbornly intact."

"It is sentient, isn't it?"

"Any defined object with a high enough concentration of magic becomes at least partially sentient."

She paused for a moment.

"I notice you don't ask if the process can be reversed, if you can be cured. Strange isn't it? Having part of your will taken from you, being aware of it and yet not doing anything about it."

Getting that nostalgic feeling of impatience I deflected the question.

"You said you had things to show me, I assume they're important?"

The unicorn before me nodded and began walking again.

***

It was, as I suspected, Flood Town that we were walking to. Unlike Vanhoover which was persistent in how it looked, this city looked completely different. As we drew closer I noticed dozens of skyscrapers rising above the smaller buildings, even those being larger than what is there today.

At the time I was wondering if we were here to see the administrator or the coordinator, and if it would be either of the ponies or just reflections of them like in previous dreams I visited. Turned out that it was neither of those things, we were there to watch the provisional government die.

"See that mass of ponies over to the left, going towards the watch posts?"

When she mentioned it, I saw them, certain they weren't there a few moments before.

"Yes, and why is that I got a bad feeling in my stomach about this scene?"

"Do you know what a raider is?"

Again, with the maze-like responses.

"A pony who robs and kills innocents?"

"An acceptable definition, but I should get to the point. When the bombs fell, when the princesses died, the government collapsed, what happened to those unfortunate to survive? Not the stable dwellers, the ponies and others left on the surface, with family, with friends."

Now that the enchantment over me was lightening, I really felt uncomfortable with where this discussion was going.

"They died? Slower, and in pain I guess?"

"Technically true."

Her voice was cold and filled with bitterness.

"Where are you going with this?"

"When my cousin set up her own little queendom, it was by far the most largest surviving remnant of the old Equestrian state. Even if compassion wasn't enough, she was legally responsible for the well being of the surviving Equestrian citizens. Naturally, thousands of ponies in the wasteland were aware of this fact."

I felt a growing anxiety within me, something was really wrong. Not just about what she was saying, but in the air around us, something was about to happen. Flapping my wings I took to the air and landed near the small horde of ponies now less than a kilometer away from the city border.

There was a sense of desperation among the ponies, all well dressed and murmuring among themselves. As far as I could see, they weren't armed. By my estimate few, if any of them could even defend themselves in a brawl, a stark contrast to the wastelanders I had met.

There was a shout coming from the town's armed guards, telling them to stop. The crowd slowed down, hesitant but they didn't stop. Then... BLAM The first gunshot sounded, a large caliber rifle as far as I could tell. The crowd panicked, and the screams of terror and betrayal broke my heart.

BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM BABLAM...

The firing didn't stop when the crowd dispersed, instead the shooters continued and gunned down the fleeing civilians. It was a massacre, nothing else.

I puked, and felt a cold rage unlike all other emotions I had felt in my life. Oh how I wanted to fly over and kill those murderers, except I couldn't... They had been dead for over a century, all of them.

Instead I directed my anger at the one self aware pony around me.

"WHY?!" I screamed at her.

She didn't flinch, clearly expecting my reaction. I expected some kind of philosophical brahmin shit, a deflection of blame, or anything but the cold, patient voice as she gave a proper answer to a question that shouldn't have one.

"When Aurora declared martial law she also declared that anypony not living in Vanhoover at the time should be treated by suspicion, with the rationale that anyone living in the wasteland would have become twisted and insane. It was a lie of course, but she only had so much food to go around and could barely sustain the local population. Accepting Equestrian refugees would mean a critical shortage of resources and the VPG would have collapsed within months."

It was logical yes, but utterly heartless and cruel.

"So she had the soldiers gun them down wherever they were found, claiming they were all monsters?!"

"Exactly."

I stared at her with hatred in my eyes, how could she remain so unaffected by what had just happened?

"And these ponies? They weren't dressed like any wastelanders I have seen."

"The government she had put together was falling apart, so she made the same decision she had done two decades before. Estimate how much she could hold together, and let the rest burn and die. First it was Equestria, and now it was Vanhoover."

Closing my eyes, taking deep and calculated breaths, I prepared myself for another question.

"The ghoul, it's Icetear isn't it?"

The impeccably dressed unicorn nodded silently.

"How do I kill her?"

For a long while she stared at me, quietly studying me, as if deciding to answer or not. As she did, something drew my attention, among the dozens of corpses and the growing field of blood something stirred. A survivor. To my horror, I realized that the pony was too small to be an adult. Galloping to her side I saw that the black coated filly had an empty look in her eyes, and as I hesitated for a moment I saw that she had been hit.

"No no no, there has to be some way to fix it!"

I tried to touch her, to keep pressure on the wound and find some way to bandage it. Nothing helped, she was dying with me helplessly standing next to her. I turned to Starlight and shouted.

"DO SOMETHING!!"

I was furious at her lack of panicking, and at her tone.

"Whose memory do you think this is?"

"I don't CARE!"

Next to me, the flank of the filly flashed with magical light. Where it had been blank just a moment ago, there was now the image of a sickly grey rose with purple petals. A flash of recognition hit me, I noticed the purple mane, looked over the traumatized filly once more before confirming it to myself.

I had met her, I had fought her, I even watched her die. Or so I thought.

Behind me the insufferable unicorn repeated an earlier question, this time it resonated within my very soul.

"As I said, do you know what a raider is?"

"..."

I said nothing, not trusting myself at that moment. As she turned once more and began walking westward again I wanted to shout after her to not just leave the filly here, to tell me how I could break whatever barrier that was keeping me from interfering. Instead, I did indeed say nothing.

The filly had grown up into a monster, and most likely watched anyone she cared about die over and over again. With nopony to lift a hoof, with no one to actually care or try to help her. Until a few weeks ago, when she was captured and brought to Goldstar on the order of the unicorn in front of me. Was I supposed to take that as a sign of compassion?

Because it felt hollow and like the raider mare was worth nothing apart from this memory.

I hated it.

***

There was one question at the forefront of my mind after that scene. Not if it was faked, because I was certain it wasn't. Not why that scene in particular, that was fairly obvious. She wanted to turn me against the ghoulish administrator, and by extension the Steel Rangers. No, the question I was wondering was why me?

Was it because of mother? Because I was there? Because of whatever was going on with my mind? And that was an issue I still didn't fully buy, it sounded so very reasonable but it felt wrong.

Then it hit me.

She was well over two hundred years, and for all I knew this wasn't a new or special thing. This could very well be how she recruited her agents, how she stretched her influence without anyone noticing. Although if that were the case, how would she do it? I have never been known for doing as I was told, and I already had a grudge against her.

Looking at the mare walking in front of me, I smiled sardonically. Of course, for the very same reason I was able to figure it out. She was trying to make me think like her, see things in similar ways, and then she could just let me do whatever I wanted.

It was obvious in hindsight, the unicorn who was messing with me was from the capital of wartime Equestria. All this occult horse apples aside, ignoring the propaganda and all else... The reason why she hid her past was simple, she was freakishly good at manipulating ponies, and that only worked if they were unaware of it.

To my surprise, I found myself sympathizing with my mother. She threatened Goldstar with a balefire bomb when she learned that the Étoile had intimidated me. Sure, she was prone to overreacting to everything, but there was something to be said for brute force in the face of sneaky schemes.

Perhaps I should get my own megaspells then? Except, I was already in the process of getting them. I ran to the Steel Rangers, convinced them we were on the same side and in all honesty, it wasn't to protect my Stable. After all, I never had the patience to focus on protecting ponies or places, I merely lashed out against everyone I considered a threat against me or those I like.

"We are here."

My attention snapped back to the present, and as I looked around my coat hairs stood on end as I saw the open sea not far behind us, far far too close. The waves had calmed down but everytime they hit the beach I could feel them reaching closer and closer towards me.

I flapped my wings and left the beach, landing above the hillside to be just a bit farther away from the waters. Turning my head, I saw that she had already arrived before me and was waiting with a patient expression on her face. Things were calm, quiet. And yet I could hear music on the wind, a violin making sorrowful and haunting tones.

Trying to ignore it I decided to make another attempt to figure out where I was. It was an island, that much was clear, and I could see what looked like Vanhoover in the distance across the water. And the unicorn began walking towards the white villa in the middle. It looked different from the rest of Vanhoover, with round pillars, a balcony of a style different from everything else in the city, walls with doorways leading not into the building itself but into another part of the porch.

She led me down an obscured staircase, past the overgrown bushes and on to said porch. The floor, the walls and even the furniture was in remarkably good condition. As we walked through a doorway into another part of the porch and another third of the island I was about to ask what we were doing there. And froze at the sight of a winged pony in power armour.

At first I wondered if it was even an enclave pony as the design barely resembled what I knew of their armour, and it was a pristine white, with yellow visors that seemed to gleam in the starlight. Some part of me tried to figure out if I had a chance against the pony, if we had a chance even. The pony looked like she could rip a steel ranger in half, armour and everything.

She didn't notice us despite looking in our direction, and I remembered how these things worked.

"You came here alone? Really? And here I thought you would bring out the raptor for my sake."

Despite never having heard the voice before it felt familiar, and the tone held an element of laughter in it, and a lot of pain. Her head jerked upwards and she stared up above us towards the speaker, I hesitated for a moment before Ètoile nudged me on. I went outside and flew up to the balcony.

He had pale yellow coat, a black mane, athletic muscles, a few scars and a soft face that spoke of painful memories. More than that, his eyes, they were surprisingly gentle and I could see the sorrow in them.

"Dad?"

I could hear the surprise and mixed emotions in my own voice as I said it. He couldn't hear me, neither could the armoured pony downstairs. They talked about something, I couldn't make out the words as my emotions ran rampant and I just didn't know what to feel. All I could do was stare, feel the cold wind in my mane and watch him.

Then a pair of bright white beams lashed out towards him, he glowed for a moment and disintegrated in a white dust cloud, the wind scattered the ashes before it reach the floor. I entered a state of shock and just couldn't process anymore, I could have sworn that he smiled as he began breaking apart.

I never knew my dad, I could barely piece together that he was enclave from little things I learned from strangers. My mother never mentioned him, never explained anything, and I knew nothing about what kind of pony he was, or why she had been interested in him in the first place. After all the horrible ponies I had met I kind of assumed he was like the rest, a ruthless killer. And yet when I saw him for the first place, those eyes...

He was a pony I would have liked to have in my life growing up, I might have been less socially maladjusted if he had been around when I was a filly. It wasn't that my mother was a horrible person (as far as I knew back then), she just expected a smart unicorn and not.... Well, me. At times I wondered if she resented me, was I too much like my dad?

"Honestly, I expected more questions from you."

The tone was flat and disinterested, but it was enough to break me out of my daze. I turned to the unicorn who had shown me him. My eyes focused on her, stared for a moment before I asked with a cold voice.

"How did you get access to this memory?"

She smiled and I wanted to buck her in the face so hard at that moment.

"I was there of course, watching it."

"Why?"

Depending on the answer I considered charging her and see if I could just beat her to death with my hooves. For all I knew, it just might work. Naturally, I was disappointed and confused by the answer.

"Blackhorn asked me to."

"Hold on, why?!"

"Wouldn't you want a memory orb of your loved one's final moment?"

"And you just stood there? YOU DIDN'T TRY TO SAVE HIM??"

The unicorn sighed, and her eyes changed into those of a killer, those she had in that moment I had realized just how horrible ponies in the wasteland was. I was on guard, but her horn didn't glow, nor did she make any sudden movements. She just... talked.

"You are still too young to understand, too naive."

I was offended but not surprised by the comment.

"To understand what??"

"Suicide."

There was something in the tone, a storm of emotions. Anxiety, bitterness, loneliness, regret, and so many other things. It terrified me, especially when I realized that it was possible both my mother or Tart could have said that word, with the same emotional charge to it. As I processed that thought she continued.

"At some point you run out of options, ways to survive, and are just too tired to go on."

"And my dad?"

"Was Enclave special forces. He had orders to maintain the status quo of Vanhoover, make sure that nopony became a threat against the enclave. Even if that meant killing harmless civlians, compassion became a secret crime. Eventually your mother became such a threat, and he failed to kill her."

"He refused orders?"

"No, Blackhorn is a dangerous zony and very difficult to kill. And when a soldier fails to kill someone quickly enough, they often make the mistake of talking to the enemy. And that was when he realized that he was on the wrong side."

She chuckled sardonically in between the sentences, sounding like she had been through much the same thing.

"Then what? He began working with her to take down the Enclave?"

"Windstriker. The Enclave contains the majority of the Equestrian Skyguard, and I don't think you understand just how much firepower our military had back during the day. The Steel Rangers are nigh unstoppable, and they are merely a fraction of the old army, the Enclave can not be fought in an open war. And part of the job of the special forces is to hunt down and kill any pegasus who grows a conscience. The moment he realized he did not want to kill anymore, he was as good as dead."

I raised my eyebrow and felt particularly skeptical about this.

"So he just gave up?"

"I did not say that. If he had decided to fight and die in combat he would have been just another deserter. Dying this way made a point, and I very much doubt his old comrades or his superiors ever forgot about it, in fact he is still very much a thorn in their side. A thorn covered in venom."

"Go on..."

"They never found his armour, and it contained radio encryption codes. Not just for regular Enclave communications, but also those for the Special Surface Operations. Anypony with half an education who finds it can tap into their communications, and suddenly over a century of covert operations to hide their existence goes up in smoke."

She was enjoying this way too much.

"And you know this how?"

"They, Blackhorn and Heaven Song, gave the codes to me. In exchange for removing all his memories of their relationships, and don't give me that look. It was the only way to keep the Enclave from figuring it out. As it is, they are still trying to find his suit of armour."

"One more thing..."

I took deep breaths to prepare myself for this, but she answered before I could ask.

"You were four years old when he died, and yes, he was proud of you. He whispered your name before this, your old one, the one your parents decided on. And before you ask, I restored his memories a few hours before this. He deserved knowing that it wasn't all in vain."

"Do you think this would make me trust you?"

"No, of course not. He asked me to make sure you knew why he was not around, and I try to keep my promises. Blackhorn never showed you the memory orb, did she?"

I didn't bother to say anything nor shake my head.

***

"Are we done here?"

I very much desperately wanted to leave.

"No. Not just yet, there is one more memory."

Of course there was.

"Tell me, if I beat you to a bloody pulp, would that let me leave?"

That gave her pause, she looked startled and blinked her eyes in confusion. Then her hoof rose to her chin as if to show that she was thinking about it, she shook her head and looked back at me with slight amusement on her face.

"I honestly do not know, want to try it?"

I felt every muscle in my body tense, and I watched her face and horn real close.

"It just might leave you stranded here for all eternity, or at least until a new princess of the night is born and stumbles upon you. Although you might consider it worth the risk, so feel free. I will not resist."

It sounded like she was mocking me, or possibly taunting me. Daring me to make a move.

"You... will not resist... You of all ponies."

"I promise."

She smiled deviously. Either she was way too confident, or suicidal. As it was, I froze with indecision. For all I knew she could be stronger in this dream world, or maybe she had set a trap, or there was a plan that relied on me making a move... I couldn't, not without knowing what it meant for me, for me and for Vanhoover. The way the city was acting, I might actually need her.

"So that is a no then, shall we go?"

Maybe I could just beat her a little? That would be fine right? I took a deep breath and asked:

"What is it this time? You torturing little fillies?"

"Do not be ridiculous. Its The Last Day, as I remember it."

This time, I was the one who was shocked. My eyes went wide, I never even thought such a thing was possible. In hindsight it was obvious, there had been ponies living through it, at least some of them would have saved the memories. And in this case, she was a living memory vault. The end of the world, it was something talked about in history class, occasionally mentioned on the radio... Nobody apart from the ghouls ever really talked about it. Ancient Equestria was too distant, too foreign. The average wasteland pony only knew fragments, and their view was formed by the stables, by the steel rangers and by ghouls. Remnants of a dead country, nothing more.

"How much do you remember?"

She closed her eyes, and began shaking as her breathing became ragged. As it got worse I wondered if she would have a breakdown or pass out, I stepped closer, unsure if I should try to help. She just waved me away with a hoof.

After a minute or so, she felt her throat with her cloven hoof, tried to make sounds and eventually managed a single word.

"EVERYTHING."

I could feel my blood freeze when I felt the emotions behind that one word. After a few deep breaths she managed to calm down enough to form entire sentences, and I was honestly a bit baffled by the admission I heard.

"You might be right... Maybe it doesn't matter what I try to do, or what my goals are, I might be too jaded to see that harm that I do in the process. Seeing everything you love burn and rot, it does that to a pony. But that is no excuse, is it? If... If you are right, then you need to see this. You can not fix things with the perspective of an ignorant savage, you need to know what we have lost. You need to know just how far we went, and how utterly powerless we were to stop it."

She paused for a moment, chuckled sardonically and continued.

"You know, I can not even remember what I did during the war. Not really, what my plans were, what the end goal was. All of it was burned away, torched by necrotic flames. Like everything else."

Honestly, I didn't know what to say, so I said nothing. She looked at me with a sad exhausted expression, then looked away, lifted her head and her horn glowed. A golden wisp of magic danced in the air, and Vanhoover faded away completely.

The new landscape was foreign to me, and my knowledge of wasteland geography didn't seem to help much as I looked around. Yet, some of it looked familiar, not that I could place it. Our immediate surroundings seemed to be the outskirts of a respectable town, next to a train station. She sat down on a bench, with tea in her hooves and looked outwards with longing eyes.

Squinting a little I could make out a lonely mountain in the far distance.

"Is that..."

"Canterlot" she replied calmly, now that she had some tea.

I considered sitting down next to her, but I was far too much on edge. How could she just sit there, knowing what was about to happen? Wait. She is old, and these memory visits seemed to be a nostalgic thing for her, were she repeated the same motions again and again. I looked at her as she sat there, ignoring my stare.

"Did you know?"

"Of course I did. Everyone figured it out eventually."

"No, I mean did you know when it was going to happen?"

She regarded me coolly for half a minute.

"There was a certain pattern to the Great War. Every discovery and every invention made it easier to develop the next one, technology progressed faster than anyone could really understand. The moment you see that pattern, one thing becomes self evident."

"I'm listening."

"Singularity. Every generation of progress is quicker and shorter than the one before it, eventually we lost control of things. The princesses and the ministry mares had no hope of ever understanding, they were used to a slower lifestyle. To a pony who dabbled in chronomancy it was different. Think of it like a bomb, ticking first every month, then every week, every day, hour, minute, and towards the end, every second."

"Couldn't you stop it? Did you try?"

"Please do try to listen when I talk. Every heartbeat, it became more difficult. And the process started before I had even been born. Do you have the slightest idea what it feels like? To be a mere foal, and to see millions of ponies and zebras drive fate towards the apocalypse?"

At this point, I knew when I was supposed to just let her ramble on.

"No, I could not stop it. The best I could hope for was to save myself, and even then I was just a pony before the firestorm. Weak, and so utterly useless."

The sound of thunder echoed in the distance, then a scream, followed by shouts of panic. I turned my head, saw the lightning in the far distance. It was green. The bright blue sky, and the sunlight felt wrong as I saw a cloud burst in a bright green flash in the far southeast.

Soon after, something hit Canterlot, or at least tried. A magical shield surrounded the city, as the next missile hit. And the next, and as I began following them with my eyes I saw it. Some of them came from behind us. Not from the far east, but from the southwest, roughly where I thought New Pegasus lies today.

Seeing my shock, she commented.

"Now, do you see why ponies hate zebras and everything remotely striped? Your zebra is a descendant of the 93rd Legion, that had dug into the southern mountains of the west coast. Equestrian forces were defending against an invasion that was never meant to happen. They were just getting in place to set all of Equestria ablaze."

More missiles roared past us, some flying lower and hit Canterlot almost horizontally. In between the flashes I noticed something else, something was happening within the shielded city. It had began turning into a shade of pink. I barely even noticed the panicked screaming and rushing ponies all around us. Was this what the zebras had planned for the princesses, a trap with an impossible choice? Leave, and be hit with mega spell missiles, or stay and be slowly poisoned."

I gulped and could barely muster my voice.

"Why... why didn't the princesses teleport out of it?"

She made an angry hmmph sound at my question.

"To what end? Equestria is dying all around us. Where would they go?"

The shield bubble had become opaque, the city completely gone.

"Windstriker, pay attention. You will want to see what happens next."

I blinked, took a deep breath and waited until the bubble finally burst. A torrent of solid pink cascaded out of the mountain, leaving a skeletal and dead remnant of the city in its wake. And I saw it. The missiles didn't hit, they suddenly changed direction one by one. Crashing down into the ground.

In the sky, I thought I could see something flying past us.

"That, my little zony, was Celestia."

"WHAT?!"

Needless to say, my eyes went wide at the revelation and I stared at the strange unicorn. I couldn't understand the idea, she got away? If she was alive, then this was the biggest discovery in my life. This could fix everything, if we could find her...

"No."

She shook her head, and I realized she had gotten my hopes up for nothing.

"She's dead then? Are you absolutely sure that princess Celestia is dead?"

If there was even the slightest bit of hope.

"I have been across all of Equestria, and never sensed her after that. And do you honestly think she would leave her principality in such a state? As a pony, and as a ruler she had a lot of flaws, but a lack of compassion was not one of them."

I facewinged at the obviousness of the response. We would have to fix things on our own after all. Although, if Celestia wasn't around anymore, what was the point of showing me this memory?

Then I noticed that I couldn't hear anything apart from myself and Étoile.

"You froze the memory, why?"

"Quite simple really, there is a detail that is easy to miss."

She pointed skyward with her hoof.

A missile, and not just the sort I was used to, this thing was gigantic. And it was aimed straight towards us, except that didn't make any sense. If the closest zebras were to the southwest, why would this thing be flying from the north?

Unless...

"Did... Did Celestia do that?"

"What, shoot down a mega spell missile? Why yes, dozens of them. And naturally, I was not just in the blast zone, but in the very epicenter of an actual balefire missile. Unfortunately, very few know the implications of that, because barely anypony know what a balefire bomb actually is."

"And that is..."

Her hoof did that weird snapping motion that looked just wrong.

A blinding flash as the explosion happened. I was still alive though, and felt perfectly fine apart from not being able to see anything. Was this normal or did she...

"Relax, I never planned on letting you actually burn."

She threw up a shield or something I guessed.

"I can't see anything!"

"There is nothing to see, that is not the point."

Ignoring what I meant, and talking to me like I was a child.

"THEN WHAT IS?!"

"Sshhh... listen. Just listen, and then feel."

Except there was nothing apart from the roaring fire. It reminded me a bit too much about the dragon I had a run in with on the outskirts of the city. On second thought I don't like fire all that much, about as much as I dislike the ocean. Honestly, I was getting bored of the thundrous noise when I heard something else. Something quiet, between or beyond the fire itself.

I tried to focus my attention on it, tried to recognize what it was.

Words.

A prayer, whimpering sobs, furious screams, bit by bit I began to be able to separate the different voices from each others. First I tried to hear what they said, thinking it might be some form of chanting or spellcraft. It wasn't, it was the last words and thoughts of the ponies who died. Then, I began counting them, only to have my focus broken by her voice.

"Narrow it down to a single voice, and be patient."

I was irritated at the distraction, and couldn't understand what she was trying to prove. Not until I actually did so, which might have taken minutes for me to even attempt. The first one I noticed, the praying stallion, was the one that I found myself focusing on. I had held my focus for maybe ten minutes, listening to some boring religious nonsense, repeating over and over again.

"Why... why do I even bother... SHE is the one who did this!"

The prayers didn't return, instead the buck began making increasingly resentful comments against Celestia. And it dawned on me, what she was so freaked out by, why she was so insistent that I viewed this memory. It wasn't a quick incinerating flash and everyone was dead, the ponies were still there, somehow aware of what was happening to them, and maybe still to this day...

The fire didn't just burn their bodies, but their souls as well.

"How... WHY?!"

I didn't understand, but I was furious. At the world at large, at the zebras.

Her cool voice had a hint of the same fury within it as she responded.

"The M.A.S. thought the balefire would burn itself out within a decade or two, and most of the radiation would be gone as well. The stables were designed with this time frame in mind. Only, they were working with incomplete data. The zebras most well kept secret, they had mixed in a necrotic element into the flames."

A soul, when all is said and done, is nothing more than a cluster of magical energy with a pseudo-consciousness. They can be torn apart, merged, carefully created and be utterly annihilated.

"Or be used as fuel..."

My voice was weak and barely audible.

"Now you understand what has happened to Equestria."

This was her memory, she had been here when it happened, and I doubt any shield she could muster at the time would resist the energies of the balefire. Except she had a secret trick up her sleeves, Project: Resurgence, a supposed dead end due to it destroying the mind of the victim... How many times did she die and be brought back to life?

"How long..."

"Hm?"

She was distracted, not all that weird considering the circumstances.

"How long did it take for you to escape?"

"Oh, I did not."

"Wha..."

"I did not escape, I outlasted the balefire and burned through every single soul within it."

And there are still active balefire craters to this day, how...

"I think it took a few decades, maybe a century. Difficult to say as it took several decades to put myself back together, mentally and emotionally I mean. I still feel the fire when I close my eyes to sleep, and I rather not dream actual dreams anymore."

I never forgot those voices, and finally understood my mother's threat against her.

Quest Perk Added: Acolyte

Despite common wisdom you have began to research the more esoteric side to magic, and have unlocked the skill Occultism, which is considered a Tag skill for you. With access to the right tome, location and tools you can perform simpler rituals.