"Time for a little...redecoration."

A hazy purple glow emitted from Erebus' horn and his roaring laughter echoed through the castle's halls as craggily black crystals burst through the floors and walls, turning the once pristine crystal structure into a spiked nightmare befitting an umbrum king. Strolling around the throne room, he amusingly regarded the crystalline statues that stood huddled together, the remnants of the castle's staff, now frozen in eternal terror. A couple held one another, their faces fearfully turned towards each other as they awaited the end. Ah, these are the moments that make life worth living. Erebus mused to himself. His eyes then focused on the Crystal Heart, watching it bob up and down in the air above the throne, softly humming with a mysterious blue energy.

"Now what I am to do with you?" Erebus asked aloud. It was a truly powerful relic, being able to construct a physical form for him and erecting a self-sustaining magical barrier around the kingdom. Besides, its power was the only thing keeping the Crystal Empire from being consumed by the winds and snow of the Frozen North, making it impossible for him to get rid of it. On the down side, however, it was currently charged with love, the most sick-inducing emotion known to him and his kind. "I suppose I could keep you locked up somewhere secret, after draining you of the love my idiot offspring filled you up with, of course." Disposing of Sombra was hardly a trial; the nifty thing about children is that you can always have more, hopefully children that wouldn't disappoint him.

An umbrumling guard bowed before Erebus and saluted. "Sire, the attack is proceeding as planned. However, the princess and her Element bearers have gone underground and my forces are sniffing them out as we speak."

Erebus waved a hoof dismissively. "It matters not. They are surrounded and without the Elements of Harmony, they are powerless. They'll show up. The thing about these so-called 'heroes' is that they are idiotically idealistic. Once they've gathered their wits about them, they'll rush out to face me in an attempt to end my tyranny."

"EREBUS, YOUR REIGN OF TERROR ENDS NOW! COME OUT AND FACE ME, COWARD!"

There was no mistaking the Canterlot Royal Voice. "See, what did I tell you? Tell your guards to keep searching. I have a pesky mare to subdue. Hmm, maybe I'll make her into a concubine when I'm through with her. She does have child-bearing hips and I'd hate to see them go to waste." Erebus pushed the castle gate open and swaggered outside, coming face-to-face with Princess Celestia and four of her little mares, excluding the pink one and Twilight Sparkle.

"Ah, Your Majesty," he growled with false veneration. "So nice to see you once more! I remember when you were just a filly! Now you're all grown up and...ripe," he leered with an audible slurp, his tongue licking his lips suggestively. "How may I assist you and your servants?"

Doing her best to suppress a gag, Princess Celestia retorted, "We're here to end your conquest of the Crystal Empire and banish you back to the deepest, darkest levels of Tartarus where you belong! Surrender or we'll have to resort to using force."

Erebus shook his head and tapped the ground with his hoof, sending an echoing thud throughout the land. The sky above them was instantly flooded with umbrumlings, all of them starving for love and fear. "Is that so? With what army may I ask? You see mine. Just do the sensible thing and surrender. I'll just make you the first in my new collection of harem mares." He cackled as the yellow Pegasus ducked behind the orange earth pony while the blue Pegasus glared daggers at him. His eye found the white unicorn and he frowned, "Except you. You'd be better served as a chambermaid."

"I beg your pardon!" Rarity screamed and with a fluff of her mane hissed, "Am I not good enough to be one of your harem mares?"

"Really, Rare? That's tha part yer objectin' to?" Applejack deadpanned.

"Enough Erebus! Stand down!"

"Do you want to know something, Prin-cess? I don't take orders from mares. Children, dispatch these fools! The alicorn is mine!"

It's just as Sombra said! Erebus is leaving the castle gates wide open! Twilight took a deep breath and rushed past the battle zone, followed closely by a cardboard box sliding across the ground every few feet. She rolled her eyes and found it pointless by now to question Pinkie Pie's eccentricities, simply focusing on sneaking past the occasional umbrumling patrols. Two headed her way and she jumped inside of a discarded barrel, her head pounding as the hybrids paused a foot away from her barrel. Please go away, please go away!

"Ugh, that one crystal pony was filled with too much love! I'm full to bursting!" One complained, rubbing his stomach.

"Quit your bellyaching! At least you didn't dine on a pony whose greatest fear was pepper shakers!" His companion snapped, one eye twitching with irritation. "I mean, how pathetic is...did that cardboard box just move?"

The box then was violently flipped over, revealing Pinkie Pie in army fatigues and a green headband, a can of bug spray in each hoof. "You will please be unconscious!" She yelled in a funny accent, filling the air around her with noxious green mist that left the two umbrumlings rolling on the ground gasping for air. They gagged and tossed until lying still, their limbs twitching spastically before becoming motionless. Standing triumphantly over the downed umbrumlings, Pinkie blew into the spray can nozzles and twirled them around in her hooves. "I kill bugs dead."

Twilight climbed awkwardly out of the barrel, tripping over the lid and collapsing face-first on the ground. She checked the two unconscious hybrids. "They're still breathing."

Pinkie shrugged, "Tomato, potato. Come on!"

Sombra rose from his vantage point on the rooftop, watching the battle with his father taking place. Celestia and the others made for a pretty good distraction while Twilight and Pinkie Pie snuck into the castle and retrieved the Crystal Heart. His role, on the other hoof was being fulfilled right at that very instant. Closing his eyes, he reached down inside of himself, focusing on every pain, every loss, every single moment of fear and anger, feeling it build inside of him. Celestia breaking his heart. Twilight lying bleeding in the snow. His defeat at his father's hooves. His body glowed a purple, black-edged aura that hissed and crackled with hatred and self-doubt, the nonverbal tale of a miserable existence.

Finally, like magma rising to the surface of a volcano, he let it all come flooding out, sending an energy beam into the sky. Much like moths flying into a lantern, the umbrumlings came rushing towards him, his negative emotions acting as a beacon for them and amplifying their hunger. Don't forget, Erebus was just their sperm donor. They are not your siblings. You're the last of your kind. Remember that. His eyes flew open, green with purple smoke, the indicators of a dark magician. Confronted by the dark gray swarm, Sombra turned into a pony-shaped shadow and flew towards them, green fire shooting ten feet from his horn. Several were burned to a crisp while the smarter ones either flew out of the way or shifted into their shadow forms. "Good. A challenge," he declared, bombarding the oncoming hordes with blasts of dark magic, crystalline constructs and shadow-forged blades. "Let me show you what a true umbrum can do!"

Looking back, Twilight had to admit that Sombra's taste in décor, while dark and uninviting, was still leagues better than this. Jagged black spikes pierced the castle from all directions, destroying beautiful crystal architecture and turning it into a giant pincushion. Red mist seeped through every crack and orifice while incandescent gray-black spiders flittered all over the floors, spinning webs of black and red crystalline threads. It was a good thing that Pinkie was there to steel Twilight's nerves otherwise she doubted she would've walked onward into the castle of death. Keeping up their guard, the two mares made their way towards the throne room and in it, the key to their salvation.

With a slightly trembling hoof, Twilight pushed aside one of the lopsided doors and slowly entered the throne room, which seemed to have suffered the most damage of Erebus' "renovations." Chunks of crystal debris littered the floor and black columns zigzagged all over the room, jutting from the ceiling, walls and floors, making it necessary for them to watch their step. She covered her mouth with a hoof upon seeing the castle staff encased in black crystals, their mouths and eyes opened wide with fear and panic. Amber Laurel and Sand Arrow were the most heartbreaking as they stood with their forelegs entwined around one another, gazing at one another with expressions that spoke of defeat and meeting the inevitable. Don't worry everypony, I'll make sure Erebus pays for this.

"It's not that bad," Pinkie nodded and then noticed Twilight glaring at her. "Well, I’m not saying I’d like to build a summer home here, but the stain glass windows are actually quite lovely."

"Let's just get the Heart and get out of here," Twilight grumbled. She knew it wasn't Pinkie's fault so she let her friend's careless comment slide. Some bit of optimism and comedic relief helped in a situation like this anyway.

Up ahead, the Crystal Heart hovered above Sombra's throne, shining lightly with a blue-white glow, beckoning Twilight and Pinkie forward. Twilight's eyes watered up as she felt the love radiating off of it, images of her happy memories with Sombra playing through her head like an internal movie theatre. The hope that everything about their relationship being real burned inside of her, briefly casting her doubt aside as she approached the relic. She remembered the way Sombra held her, touched her, kissed her, how his scarlet eyes stared at her and the whole world faded away. There was no way such emotion could be fabricated or be the result of kismet-based enchantments.

"Uh, Twilight? Aren't we supposed to grab the crystal what'syamacallsit and go?"

Twilight snapped out of her trip down Memory Lane. "Right, thanks Pinkie." Her horn lit up and gently pulled the Crystal Heart from its resting place and into her waiting hooves, feeling the skin-tingling heat it gave off. "Okay, let's get this back to Sombra and the others. This ends now."

Author's Note

This chapter's title comes from the poem of the same name by Alfred, Lord Tennyson

Pinkie's line, "You will please be unconscious," was taken from the Mel Brooks film The Producers (1967), while "I kill bugs dead," is an allusion to the slogan for Raid insecticide: "Raid kills bugs dead."

Pinkie Pie's outfit and usage of a cardboard box are references to the character Solid Snake from the Metal Gear video game series

*Sing-songy* The Princess Bride reference!