"Ice pack please?"

by Equimorto

Rating: everyone
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Main 6, Princess Luna, Comedy, Princess Celestia, Random, Discord
Length: 2014

After finding the Elements and turning her friends back to their old selves, Twilight was ready to confront and defeat Discord. Until she twisted her ankle.

Twilight was ready. She'd survived the tricks and deceptions the draconequus had thrown her way, she'd retrieved the Elements of Harmony, she had been able to turn her friends back to their old selves, now all that was left was confronting Discord and finally defeating him.

If only she hadn't twisted her ankle during the fight.

Based on a thing Wintermist wrote.

Published 2018-09-29 15:30:01 UTC
Last updated 2018-09-29 15:30:01 UTC

"You win"

Author's Note

Blame Wintermist for this.

"You win"

"Okay, you win, ice pack please?" Twilight said as she sat down.

Everything had seemed normal. The six ponies were about to face off against Discord, wearing the Elements and with all the intention of making them work this time, when suddenly Twilight had slipped while taking a step forward, and she was now on the ground, ignoring both her friends and the one she had come there to confront. All her attention was apparently focused elsewhere, and she wore an annoyed expression.

The draconequus perplexedly looked down at the purple unicorn. "Excuse me, I'm not sure I understood that right. What did you say?"

"I said you win," Twilight repeated, lifting one of her back legs in her front hooves and looking at it, "now could you please get me an ice pack? This thing hurts."

Discord remained confused at the situation. "What-"

"Am I getting this ice pack or not?" Twilight barked, looking up at him.

"Oh, sure, sorry," Discord said, producing an ice pack with a snap of his claws and giving it to the unicorn.

Twilight grabbed it in her magic and levitated it to rest against her ankle, which was now somewhat swollen and a little red.

"Huh, Twilight?" Rainbow Dash said from somewhere behind the unicorn and in front of the draconequus, "What is happening?"

"I'd like to know that too," Discord said, raising a claw to draw attention to himself.

"Sorry girls, we've got to cancel this whole saving Equestria thing. We can try again next week if you want, but I can't fight like this."

"But Twilight," Rarity said, stepping forward, "what do you mean we can't do this now? Why?"

"I twisted my ankle," Twilight said, pointing to her leg, seeming somewhat annoyed, like her friends were missing something that should have been obvious.

"And... What?" Applejack asked.

Twilight gave an annoyed grunt. "Applejack, I can't fight like this! It should be evident, really."

"Hum, Twilight? I know it probably hurts a lot, but, hum," Fluttershy spoke, fluttering a little closer to her unicorn friend, "it's not something that should prevent you from fighting. I know it hurts, but we're protecting the safety of Equestria. It's, I... I would say it's more important, even if you hurt yourself in the process."

"Yeah, she's right!" Rainbow loudly exclaimed. "Twilight, this is more important than your ankle! We'll have time to fix it later, but now we need to save Equestria! Isn't that right Pinkie?"

No answer came.

"Pinkie?" the blue pegasus repeated, turning around. "Pinkie?" she continued, somewhat worried. "Pinkie, wher-Oh come on!" she finally said, spotting the pink earth pony underneath a cloud in the distance, laying on her back with her mouth open.

"That pony," Rarity commented with some disdain in her voice.

"Hold on girls, I'm going to get her back," Rainbow said before sprinting off in a blur of colours.

Applejack walked closer to Twilight. "Come on, Twilight. We just need to use the Elements."

"Well, clearly we can't! How am I supposed to if I can't stand up properly?"

Applejack sighed, and as she turned her head her eyes were caught by the figure of the draconequus, hanging upside down and munching on a bag of popcorn. "This is your doing, isn't it?" she asked to him.

"Oh, me?" Discord said in a mock-surprised tone. "Why ever would you suspect that I had anything to do with this?" he asked, theatrically putting one arm over where his heart probably was and throwing the other one behind his head.

"Discord," Rarity said, shooting him a glance.

"Oh, fine!" the draconequus exclaimed, picking up the discarded limb and reattaching it to his body. "I can see why you ponies would think that this was my doing, but trust me, I have nothing to do with this. I simply find it rather amusing. Besides, I would never do something like this. I tried to trick you once and you outsmarted me, it's only fair that I give you a shot at defeating me before I try to deceive you again. I may be the spirit of chaos, but even chaos has its rules."

"Oh really?" Rarity asked, "And what are these rules?"

"Rule number two is 'There are no rules'," Discord answered with a smile, producing a small pamphlet out of thin air, "But here, have a read for yourself," he said, giving it to Rarity.

The white unicorn held it in her magic and glanced at it. "Discord! There's nothing written here!"

"What?" the draconequus asked, seemingly surprised. He curved his neck and positioned his head near Rarity's, staring at the completely white piece of paper. "Oh, of course! Silly me, I shouldn't have printed it with white ink. Unfortunately I think this is the only copy I have."

Rarity angrily threw away the paper. "Fluttershy!" she called, distracting the pegasus who had been tending to Twilight's ankle, "Can you fly and check what Rainbow is doing? She should have been back already."

The yellow pony lifted off and stared in the distance. "I see them," she said, "Rainbow is near Pinkie. It looks like she gathered a bunch of clouds together and now she's drinking the chocolate rain alongside her."

Applejack smashed her front hoof against her face and nervously rubbed it, grunting. Discord chuckled at the news.

"That mare," Rarity disdainfully commented. "Fluttershy, please go get them!"

"Okay," the pegasus meekly replied, slowly beginning to fly towards the two.

"You really shouldn't waste your time on this, girls," Twilight said, "It's not like I'll be able to fight like this anyway."

"Oh come on, Twilight, you can't be serious!" Applejack somewhat angrily shouted at her friend. "Are you really risking the fate of all Equestria just because you twisted you ankle? Do you think that's normal?"

"Well, actually, non-earth ponies are notoriously fragile creatures when it comes to fighting. It's why all our wars were fought with dulled weapons. And seriously, Applejack, I can't use the Elements like this. If I can't stand up properly there's no way it'll work."

Rarity shot Discord a glare. "Are you sure this isn't your doing?"

"Oh, as much as I wish it was, I can't affect ponies wearing the Elements. I would have teleported you all away from here if I could. Why do you think I hid them rather than destroying them in the first place?"

"Well I guess we'll have to wait then," Rarity said, pulling out a small sofa with red cushions and setting herself above it.

"You girls want to play dice in the meantime?" Discord asked to the three remaining ponies.

"Huh, why not?" Applejack said.

"Huh, girls? What's happening?" Fluttershy timidly asked.

"Oh, finally you're here!" Rarity cried out.

Applejack ignored her. She was intensively staring at the dice in her hoof. In front of her, Discord was resting on Rarity's sofa, a large pile of books at his side, Applejack's hat on his head. Applejack closed her eyes and threw the dice, then opened her eyes to look at the result. A low frustrated sigh escaped her lips.

"Well there goes Sweet Apple Acres," Discord said, producing a roll of paper out of thin air and handing it to Applejack without even looking at her, "sign there near the bottom, dear."

"Where are Pinkie and Rainbow?" Rarity asked, distracting the pegasus.

"Oh, hem, well, I asked them to come back, but they, hum, seemed so happy to be there, and I, well, I couldn't really insist all that much so-"

She was interrupted by a cry of frustration from Rarity's unopened mouth. "Fine!" the white unicorn finally shouted, "Fine! I'll get them myself!" she said, beginning to walk away.

"Rarity, that's, hum, that's..." Fluttershy tried to talk to her, but she was already too distant, "That's the wrong way."

"Are you sure you want another go?" Discord asked to Applejack.

"Sister? Why have things not yet returned to normal?" Luna asked, walking up to the balcony.

"I don't know, Luna. Twilight should have used the Elements to defeat Discord quite a while ago. Not that it's any easy to tell how much time has passed under his chaotic influence, but I believe things should have returned to normal already."

The two were suddenly distracted by a loud bang in the room behind them. They turned to see Discord waiting for them, a piece of paper held in his claw.

"Discord! What are you doing here?" Celestia growled at him.

"Oh, I believe the right question is: what are you doing here in my castle?"

"Your castle? Discord, what is the meaning of th-"

Celestia was silenced by the draconequus shoving the paper in her face. "As you can clearly read here, the grounds on which the castle is built, and therefore the castle itself, are now my property. It turns out you built this thing over a piece of land owned by the Apple family."

"What?" Celestia asked, staring at the paper. "This is clearly a hoax!" she exclaimed after having read it, "I'll send this to my lawyers, and then you'll have to get out of here!"

The paper was enveloped in golden magic, and it disappeared with a pop. After a few seconds it reappeared, alongside a second letter.

"Ha!" Celestia said. "Oh," she let out after reading what the second note said, "looks like this is legitimate."

With a snap of his claws, Discord teleported the three of them outside. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have to take care of the furniture," he said before disappearing.

Luna was about to ask something to her sister, but suddenly every piece of furniture inside the castle was teleported above them and fell over the two.

"Twilight Sparkle!" Celestia boomed out, walking up to the unicorn in the twisted streets of Ponyville, "I demand an explanation as to why you did not defeat Discord!"

"I twisted my ankle," the unicorn said, showing her still somewhat swollen limb.

"Oh." Celestia calmed down at the news. "Sorry to hear that. I remember when it happened to me. Poor Luna had to seal away the whole Crystal Empire because I couldn't help her deal with Sombra. In that case, I demand a place to stay. Discord kicked me out of the castle."

"The library will do. It's somehow the one piece of land in Ponyville that wasn't owned by the Apple family in a way or another."

The two began to walk towards the library. On their way there they passed by Applejack, intent on gathering a bunch of rocks so she could have something to gamble with.

Somewhere on the outskirts of Ponyville, Rainbow and Pinkie laid on their backs, mouths opened to drink the chocolate raining from the clouds above them.

On the opposite side of Ponyville, an extremely annoyed Rarity kept walking forward, looking for Rainbow and Pinkie, followed at close distance by Fluttershy, who was still trying to find the courage to tell her friend she was walking in the wrong direction.

"You know," Twilight said to Celestia as the two of them walked on, "Yesterday I had this weird dream, and I can't remember much of it, but you played a pretty big part in it. I remember there being this book I found, and then a spell, and then there was this weird thing that happened when I talked to you about it, and then suddenly I had wings, and this weird tattoo, and Trixie was there too, and then there was this weird town of ponies without their cutie marks..."

"Dreams sometime show us visions of the future, Twilight. You should ask Luna about it."

"And I also had these weird things instead of my hooves, like the ones Spike has but less scaly and more squishy."

Celestia stopped. "Twilight, you didn't read anything from my personal collection of books, right?"

"No. Why?"

"Nothing," Celestia answered, resuming her walk, "nothing important. Just don't ever read them, okay?"

"Okay."