I try to draw a ragged breath, try to cry out, but the pain consumes and overwhelms me. My eyes reflexively close against the otherworldly pain as the tendrils hold me aloft and tear into my flesh anew. They pale in comparison to the undulating, rotating mass, drilling and contorting inside my chest as it plunges itself deeper. I can’t gather my thoughts against the ripping pain infusing and surrounding me.
“Oh, no, no, Curse Word. You don't get to hide from this!” Ink barks into my face. The coils beneath my eyelids shift and harden in an instant. With a sickening wet snip, my eyelids fly through the air; my vision returned against my will to the horror before me. The sights and sensations overwhelm me as guttural screams echo into obscurity.
“Ink! Let her go! You’re killing her!” Mag’s voice rings clearly in my head, my eyes snapping away from the macabre vision before me, towards her voice. No Mag… run… don’t... let... her ge… NO! She reaches through the midnight black bars, crumpled against her prison as she wails my name. The inky birdcage shifts around her as she extends her hooves as far as she can reach and tears cascade down her muzzle.
Tendrils snake around the exposed bones in my limbs, slicing tendon and muscle with ease. There is no release or respite and my concept of time shatters with my mind as the litany of pain amplifies. The smell of rancid decay violates my flared nostrils and decaying flesh joins the pristine viscera that carpets the floor as my body regenerates. Oh... Celestia No!... Luna… Protect ME. The horror seeps into every nerve, every fiber as realization burns through the fog of pain in my mind: my body keeps regenerating… this can go on… forever if she wants it to. Cold sweat breaks out on the few patches of fur that haven't come back patchy and rancid, a new fear gripping me.
“You cannot deny who you are, Curse Word!” The cracked and broken surface makes rasping sounds as the leather mask dances and taunts me, a yellow aura holding it before my face. “This is the monster you are! The Lost Narrator, reader of stories and damner of souls! But something's missing? Oh wait… I know!”
The tendrils tense and contort, pulling my body taut into a standing position as my vision blurs to red. This excruciating pain reaches levels no mortal pony could survive; my mind fracturing under the unrelenting misery of a thousand eternities. The red bleeds from my vision and I'm greeted by the moronic, stitched smile and shining gaze of the leather mask. Her taunting laughter accompanies its stoic descent. It gently comes to rest on my snout; a single coil slowly pushes it into place. I feel my rotten flesh extend and caress its broken and weathered surface, fusing and melting into the leather.
It’s a calming, welcoming presence in this new world of agony and torment.
“And as for you!” My bleary mind struggles to focus as I turn my head in Mag’s direction. The viscous mass lunges towards her and the cage. “You really are a whore, aren’t you?!” Ink screams at Mag, lashing a tendril at the cage.
Mag yelps in fear and adrenaline floods into my broken frame. I struggle against the coils, but they intertwine and contract around my limbs, locking me in place. I try to force my muzzle open, to scream out, but my mask is sewn shut, muting me.
The cage around Mag shifts and flashes before transmuting into brass. She shrinks back against the bars, a wounded bird confined in her cramped cell.
“Let her go, Ink! You already have me! What more do you want?” Mag shouts back, fear and adrenaline giving power to her voice.
“I want my little bird to behave like a proper mare, not a common whore! How… dare you! How dare you press your… lips on…” Ink trails off, her semi-fluid form roiling and frothing with rage. “How could you? How could you do this to me, after all I've done and sacrificed for you?!”
Mag glances over and our eyes lock for a brief moment, fear and desperation engulf her lilac orbs. They begin to fill with tears as she looks up into Ink’s monstrous face. “Ink… You’re right, I’m yours… I’ve always been yours. I never know what's best for me… you do, you always have… This… is my fault.”
Instantly, I struggle against coils. What the fuck is she talking about?
Ink’s liquidy surface calms and stills as she peers at Mag suspiciously. “Oh, is that so? It’s your fault. I’m glad you can finally admit what I’ve known all along. You were the one who caused all this. Your stupidity and ignorance… that’s what got my foal killed, when you used her.”
“I never meant for that to happen! I just wanted to—”
“No Magpie! You used Curse Word and her sinister talent to kill my son; a talent she wasn’t aware of until you came along!” Mag’s eyes widened in shock and horror as Ink’s voice becomes even shriller. “What? You thought you could spend a thousand years in my realm, and I wouldn’t find out? Oh Celestia, that story became so tiresome after the first two-hundred years. How you used her, how you betrayed her.”
Mag leans back against the bars, as Ink’s words strike with the force of a sledgehammer.
“Your idea of revenge was just so pathetic. You were the one who set everything into motion, going so far as to trick my son into purposely angering Curse Word that day. It’s because of you and your actions that I have been damned to this! My pain is on you and you alone!”
Mag… used me…
My world shifts and turns; everything I thought I knew shatters as the new pieces click into place: the colt, that mare, Mag acting so distant… clarity overwhelms and bombards my mind with even more questions.
I hyper extend my jaw, loosening the stitching and one of the many cords snaps.
Mag, please! I need to talk to you. Listen to me!
Mag’s eyes lock on the ground, her head hanging low. “...You’re right. I’m… I-I’m the one who did this. I’m the one who betrayed her...” Her shoulder trembles as tears stream down her face. “At least I got to see her one more time… to kiss her...” Mag’s voice trails off abruptly as her body tenses. Her right hoof rises to her muzzle and her ears swivel back. “Wha…”
A chortle breaks the silence as choking, panicked screams erupt from the cage. “Well, we won’t have to worry about that anymore, will we, my little bird?” Mag’s eyes bulge with terror and her hooves claw desperately at her muzzle. Waxen undulating skin dribbles down her face and over her lips, the strands of liquefied flesh knitting and fusing together; a doll's mouth being sewn up by her owner, to be seen and not heard. The last ropes of hide bind into place, dissolving into an unbroken plane of fur, as if no mouth had ever existed. She runs a trembling hoof over her flawless unbroken fur, muffled screams emanating from her throat, as Ink Dye cackles maniacally.
“Now, isn’t that better? You can’t talk back if you don’t have a mouth. You still don’t get it, my little bird. I’m going to teach you to behave, and I will take all the time I need. My love will mold you; bring you back to what you’re supposed to be. Soon, you will realize that loving Curse Word was the biggest mistake of your life!”
The sound of magic and ripping cords fill the air. My coiled form explodes in magical fury, and moments later, I reappear beside that bitch. My back hooves extend, connecting with Ink’s shocked expression as her head turns towards the sound of my magic. My front hooves brace and bite into the floor, I channel all my rage and hatred into the double buck to her muzzle. With enough force to fell a tree, I connect and am rewarded with a shrill scream as the cunt goes flying, sloshing and flailing through the air. She impacts hard over 30 feet away, colliding with the floor in a wet thud and exploding into a shower of black rain. “No, pissing me off was, you bitch!”
As my hindquarters retract, I shift my center of gravity, pivoting on my front hooves. I glance at Mag’s crumpled body as my head whips around, then charge towards the inky pool as it rises and fuses into a familiar form. My hooves pound against the hard murky floor and my horn glows with crimson fury. As Ink’s eyes ignite piss yellow within her stupid fucking face, I let loose the magical surge, the bloody bolt hurling towards that annoying grin. Her body liquefies and showers to the floor, dodging the blast seconds before it strikes as her laughter echoes around me.
I skid to a halt, whipping my neck left and right, searching for the bitch. Only the small whimpers of Mag trying to pry open her mouth echo in the darkness as the laughter fades.
The ball of anger flares in my chest, my frustration boiling over. “INK! Stop hiding you fucking pussy and fight me! One monster to another, let’s see who’s got the bigger pair!?”
“A monster? Me?” Ink’s voice bounces from every direction. Her small, coy chuckle erupts into a thunderous, obnoxious laugh. “My looks may be deceiving, but I can assure you, I am nowhere near as despicable... as vile as you!” A geyser of ink spews into the air before me and I'm greeted with that smug, shit-eating grin as that bitch steps out from it.
“Could’ve fooled me!” My instincts kick into overdrive as I lunge at her; my right hoof making contact with her chest. Her silky surface ripples slightly, my hoof passing through her like water. I jump back, narrowing my eyes and watch her as she smugly grins at me.
“Look at you. You only know how to solve your problems with violence, nothing but brute force! Trying to hurt me, or anypony for that matter, at the drop of a bit. It’s no wonder Magpie used you to enact her little ‘revenge plan.’” Ink smirks as her eyes fall upon Mag’s cage.
“You leave her the fuck alone! All you did was hurt her!” The patches of dead fur that spot my rotten and pitted hide stands on end as I seethe with rage.
“And you didn’t? Oh, how it killed her on the inside, helpless as you spiraled further and further into darkness and depravity, watching as the monster you are rose to the surface.”
“What the fuck are you talking about?”
“Unbeknownst to you, Magpie has been watching you this whole time. When you ‘cursed’ her all those years ago, I saved her, placing her in this realm to protect her from you. We both watched as you gave in to your heinous ways, slaughtering all those innocent ponies. And don’t lie and say they were ‘bad ponies who needed to be punished.’ We saw it, my little bird and I… and them. You became indiscriminate, slaughtering all who crossed your path, just as any true monster would.”
“It takes a fucking monster to know one.” I spat back, clenching my jaw tightly.
“Ah, but you see, I am not a monster. My current state was never by choice. I was forced to watch you kill them all, then watch her deceive them, each and every soul, all in the hopes of… restoring you. Nearly one hundred thousand souls, in groups, pairs, or alone. Led like lambs to your loving slaughter. If anyone is deserving of that redemption, it should be me. Both your hooves are stained with their blood. I was forced to kill my own son; I was sent to that horrendous prison. Little did the rest of Equestria know what dark experiments were being performed on the ponies in there. The pain, the years of fear and shame… indignities and horrors you cannot fathom. Let’s just say, the magic-infused chemicals they injected into me did wonders for my looks.” Ink spreads her quill-like wings and tendrils whip violently into the dismal void. “My transformation into this... monster is not of my own doing. It never was, but you… well, your outsides just reflect what was already festering on the inside.”
“At least I don't pretend to love somepony…” My nostrils flare with rage, taking a shaky step forward. “At least I never fucking abused her!” I roar as I charge her. Tendrils spiral out from her sides, striking with lightning speed as they form into a club. The ebony mass strikes me from beneath like iron, smashing into my barrel and knocking the wind from my lungs. My legs give way, and I collapse to the floor.
Ink Dye strolls languidly towards me. “I loved her more than your simple little mind could ever comprehend. I only wanted what was best for her, even if she didn’t realize it at the time. Sometimes it takes a firm hoof to show her how much I love her.”
Pure, unbridled rage detonates within my chest. My blood boils and surges, engorging my rotting flesh and powering my strikes as hooves reach out, flailing furiously, but only passing through the black sludge. I will scratch this bitch’s eyeballs out! A smug chortle taunts me as more tendrils whip out from behind her frame, striking to counter my every blow, mocking me, toying with me.
“I was the complete package. I had everything a mare could ever dream of: a career that involved the royalty, an extraordinary home, the astounding luxury, the elusive social status… A mare would have to be a complete idiot to not want me!” I bow forward and crash onto my knees as the tendrils finally let up their attack, the last of my strength failing as I crumple onto my side. “You cannot deny the fact that when she and I first met… there were sparks. I recall the look in her eyes when she first saw me, the desire… the lust. She wanted it just as badly as I did. So I gave it to her… I gave her all of myself.”
A faint cry breaks Ink’s concentration. She turns to Mag’s cage, my gaze following hers. The outline of Mag’s pink coat contrast against the now barely visible cage. Ink turns her gaze back to me shifting her back to the cage. “Just to hear her again… like that. It’s so intoxicating… exquisite, don’t you agree?”
“No! It’s fucked up to even think about her like that!”
“But didn’t the numerous, endless ponies you massacred moan for mercy?” Ink’s penetrating sneer reveals the depth of depravity within; a portal laid open to the demented thoughts that play beneath the calm exterior. I swallow hard, hesitating to answer the question. “A scream cut short by swift pain… the whimpers lingering in your ears as they cower and beg, pleading for some kind of mercy. The feeling of power... control! Having their lives under your hoof, twisting their will to your own satisfaction. It must have excited you Curse Word, but what you did was a mere shadow of our love. My little bird and I; her pain was pure, unfettered, and raw. I provided all she could ever need or desire; I gave her existence meaning! That was at least until she became confused… strayed away from her purpose... Forsaking our love. I mean… how?”
Ink cranes her neck, her face lowering to eye level with me as my breath comes in ragged gasps.A hoof gingerly caresses the worn leather of my mask as I try to turn away, but her hoof holds my chin firmly in place. “How could she try to replace me… with something like you? A common pony with such a crass, ill behaved, and unrefined demeanor… A pony who literally uses her own sorrow as a crutch to justify her immortal deeds… I think after all’s accounted, you are by far the greatest insult. Even after all these years, she still does not understand what love really is.”
Ink leans in close, her chemical breath washing over my muzzle. Faint trickles of ink drip within her skull, black droplets rolling down the sickly yellow windows of her corrupted soul. “Love is the pure, biological need to satisfy our own ravenous urges. There is no greater truth.”
Azure light blooms and expands, banishing the darkness and framing Ink Dye’s twisted form. The intensity of the light waxes, causing Ink to raise a hoof in the face of its blazing intensity. I squint, trying to adjust to the light as a single, determined voice rings out: “Let her go!”
A thunderclap ignites as the brass cage erupts into shrapnel and Mag appears from thin air, standing between Ink and I. Tall and proud, she radiates with cerulean brilliance.
The expression of disbelief plays across Ink’s face. “How did you even—”
“Let her go, Ink!” Mag’s voice cuts clear and strong through the void, stomping a hoof down with such tenacity that the world around her rumbles.
“My little bird… what do you think you are doing?” Ink’s voice bristles with annoyance.
“I am not your little bird!” Mag screams back.
“Yes, you are. You will always be my little—”
“I’m not some thing; an object you can toy with and control! I was twice your size when we were together! All the horrible, fucked up shit you put me through… Did you honestly expect me to come back to you… to ‘love’ you again?” Mag’s aura shines brighter with each word that leaves her lips.
“You’re such a petulant child, Magpie! You never did know what was best for you, for us!”
“For us? Really? This has always been about you, Ink! It was never about what I wanted, what I really needed, what I felt! Do you even know how bad you broke me… how wounded I was after I ran away from you? I… I couldn’t trust anypony! I honestly thought I was too broken, too damaged to ever be loved. It was all because of you! Curse was the one who put me back together!”
“Why do you still put your faith… your love in this abomination!?” Ink snarls.
“Because I know deep down inside, she’s not a monster! You’re right; we did watch her kill those ponies, but you love to omit one fact: Curse wept after she killed them… at least in the beginning. She only did this because she thought it was her lot in life, that she was always supposed to be this way, but you… you’ve had this darkness inside you from the very start. You feel nothing. No remorse, nor love, only sadistic satisfaction for the pain you cause! No matter how much you torture her… torture us, our love will always be stronger; stronger than anything you could ever throw at us! I’ve been cowering and afraid of you for too long. This ends now, Ink. I’m not your puppet, your ragdoll, your punching bag, or your fucking little bird. I am Magpie, and I will always love my Curs—”
CRACK!
Mag’s voice breaks as, her body rigid and muscles tense. Ruby droplets burble up from her lips and shower down upon darkened ground. A wet sucking sound accompanies the slow, torturous retraction of the ebony spike lodged in her chest. My heart thuds in my ears as the world slows, her graceful pink form falling through space like a puppet with its strings suddenly cut. A loud thud, empty and hollow reverberates as she strikes the floor in a heap, unmoving and limp. The pit of my stomach drops as my world spirals and implodes.
“Mag…” My thoughts are stifled by the sight of her… of my…
“Hmmmmm…” A sickly sweet and bemused voice purrs into the silence. “I guess it really wasn't you I loved.” Her voice is hungry, eager. The monster before me sneers out. “It was this feeling, this force...this control!”
“MAG!” I scramble to my hooves, rushing over to her side, praying and hoping that…
“Enjoy her while you still can, Curse Word!” Ink’s sardonic laughter echoes into the void as her body dissolves into the darkness. I grit my teeth as I pull Mag close, running a hoof through her mane. A soft, pained moan escape her lips. The warm cerulean glow that once blazed brightly around her has been extinguished, her body left worn and bruised…? Ink blotches cover her entire being.
Laying on her side, she slowly tries to raise her head to me. “Cursey… I’m…”
“Shhh, it’s ok. I’m here now.”
Mag’s breathing comes shallow and ragged as she attempts to pull herself up. I place a steady hoof gently on her chest, forcing her to relax within my embrace; the lack of strength and how easily she falls back terrifies me. “No… N-no, y-you need to get away from h-here.” Even in her current state, she’s still trying to protect me, from this horrible mess.
This mess that she set into motion.
She pushes my hoof aside and painstakingly props herself up right, taking advantage of my frantic mind as it’s finally able to comb through all the details I’ve been blind to for so long. All I had ever hoped for was to find her one day and to finally be with her again… to right my wrongs… The perfect, idealized version of her was the only thing I had to hold on to during those nine hundred plus years of desperation and despair. When did I lose sight of who she really was? Or was she always like this and I was blind from the beginning? Time seems to make you grow fond of only the good memories, and that pedestal that I placed her upon… It’s all come crashing down.
Fear and doubt claw at my heart, but as I watch her struggle to sit, to breathe… I can’t help but want to protect this flawed mare… to be with her, to love her. Ink… she did so many… things… so many horrible and terrible things to her...
I take her hooves into mine, gripping tightly, looking her squarely in the eyes. “No.” I coo to her gently yet firm. “I said I’m not going anywhere. Especially not now, silly.” Her sight follows the mask… tracing every little bit of me, as if she’s trying to memorize what I am now. I want to pull into myself, to conceal from her the thing I've become. Her beautiful, sparkling eyes won’t let me though. Those captivating lilac portals stare deeply into me; her lingering gaze still as loving and gentle as it was all those years ago.
“I-I’m… sorry, Cursey. I never meant to—”
“I know, I know you didn't mean to. I get it.” I smile at her, or at least try to from behind the tattered hide. Her eyes beam up at me as she tries to stand. I help her to her hooves, twinges of fear and concern blooming at the sight of blacken discoloration in the center of her chest. That alarm sharpens as I see it slowly expanding and creep out from her wound.
“Awwww, wasn’t that just… a lovely little moment... You two disgust me!” Ink’s sarcastic voice drips with venom and hate as it echoes through the void. Mag’s ears pin back against her scalp, as my gaze swivels left and right, trying to see where that bitch’s voice is coming from. “Two monsters comforting one another, when the end is ever-looming for them. There is no redemption for the likes of either of you. Neither of you are worthy of it, because you both chose this path! The one lined with the lives you have ruined!”
“Real fucking mature, you stupid bitch.” My body tenses.
“Oh, my little, stupid bird. You made your choice, and now you get to live with— Oops! I mean, die with it!” Ink’s cunty laughter erupts and cascades, echoing all around us.
I bite my lip as I watch the expression on Mag’s face. She winces slightly, but I can’t tell if it’s from that bitch’s voice, or from something else. “You are in no shape to try and… to try and take her on.” Mag says, nuzzling against my neck.
I nuzzle her back, trying to mask my thoughts. “I will take care of this. I promise. Just stay here and out of the way, ok?”
I turn tail and gallop into the darkness, hoping to put some distance between us and Mag. I can’t lose her again. “Ink Dye! Come out, you stupid cunt!” I call out, hooves echoing into the black nothingness.
“Oh Curse Word, you have such a way with words!” Ink’s silky sweet voice, dripping with malice, slithers into my ears as her undulating inky form rises and contorts before solidifying into a pony form ahead of me. I brace my front hooves, skidding to a stop.
“I’m fucking done with your bullshit, Ink!” My eyes narrowing as I glower at the monstrosity.
“Oh, that’s cute. You actually think you have a chance.” Coils rocket through the air, aiming straight for my head. My horn flares up, deflecting each one without effort. Ink Dye retracts her coils. Her eyes glower intensely out at me from within her murky facade.
“Weren’t expecting that, were you, bitch? I’m not fucking around anymore… Ink.” The anger, the bitterness… everything I’ve had to endure since being sucked into this nightmare boils to the surface as my mind overloads with rage. An unbridled howl sunders the tepid air, every fiber of my corrupted feint form cries out for this bitch’s blood, to unleash my vengeance and fury on her. Crimson bleeds across my vision, the hue resonating with me on a primal level as my blood courses faster and battle ensues. I refuse to let this bitch think for a second that she will ever have the chance to hurt Mag again. Knowing that she… hurt her like… that. That Mag was too scared to trust me; that she was the reason Mag was so broken when I found her…
The horse shoes come off and there is no more holding back. This cunt will suffer, I will make her fucking beg, make her hurt and know what it was like…. What she did to Mag… my body shakes with rage and exertion as I unload all of my hate and anger onto her.
This failed abortion has got power, I’ll give her that, but what I lack in raw power, I make up for in rage. With as much blood that’s on my hooves and all the fucked up shit I’ve had to endure, there’s no way this prissy little shitstain is going to take me down. She’s going to fucking regret watching me get stronger over those nine hundred fucking years. My rage, her sadistic lust, we match blow for blow and give back as good as we receive. Rotten chunks of flesh scythe away and mix underhoof with her sickly ink splotches that stain the floor.
I don’t stop. I ignore the severed limbs and shards of bone; the stinging, gaping wounds that cover my body; everything burns, sizzles and dies before the inferno consuming my mind and heart. Gaping wounds knit, bones sprout, and muscle weaves itself anew under the glowing blue light of our love. My body flares and flickers with azure light even as I run it through the meat grinder of her sadistic power. A hoof cut off at the joint explodes and reforms under the healing glow, first bone and tendon followed by veins then rotting flesh and fur in the blink of an eye.
Grasping that red, hot ball of wrath in my chest, I press the attack, letting her have it all. My hate cascades over her like heat waves, stripping off wisps of ink. As I pull harder on my rage though, I can feel my body reaching its limit. The healing glow comes slower and few between as my body burns for the first time from exhaustion. I need to take this cunt down now!
I channel everything I have into my horn, power sparking and snapping in arching stripes around my broken horn. Ink’s eyes expand in terror as the ink around her form begins to fizzle and sear away. Her terrified wail sings into the void, bringing a smile to my bloodied lips as I watch the whore burn into nothingness from my magic and rage.
I shut my eyes and feel my limbs give out. That last magical surge… My horn pounds and throbs on the inside of my skull. It’s ok though… she’s fucking gone and—
“Did you really think it was going to be that easy?!” My eyes snap open only to find her smug face towering over me. Her hoof strikes down upon my horn and my body crumples under the intense pain.
A dense, ebony hoof strikes my shoulder and pins me down to the floor like a boulder. Bones crack and pop as Ink increasingly applies pressure, as if she’s trying to squish me like a bug beneath her hoof. I pant and squirm, trying to wriggle free or force her off, but it’s too much. How is she not… tired?!
“I’m not tired because I have that endless supply of souls you murdered!” She smugly retorts. I struggle against the sheer power in her hoof.
“S-Stop reading m-my fucking thoughts!”
“Don’t you get it Curse Word? This is my realm. I control this dimension and all who inhabit it! I’ve heard all of your thoughts and Magpie’s since the start of this wretched journey! I even know of the ones who are viewing these events unfold from behind a black screen; can’t you hear their clicking, scrolling my story with baited breath? I am the beginning, the middle, and the end! There is no escape for a villain like you!”
Ink’s sinister smile widens as she lowers her inky muzzle. I can feel her breath snake into my ear. “But I do have to thank you, Curse Word.” Her tongue slithers over my earlobe, and I shudder at the sensation. “I just needed a little push, and you shoved me right into murdering that little fucking brat. I mean, I had abused Magpie so much… but to kill… another pony, especially a foal? Even I thought that was too much at one point, but he wasn’t even my child. That colt and his father were just a means to an end. So I really have to thank you and that super special talent of yours. If it wasn’t for that, I would have never gathered enough nerve to drown the little shit.”
“W-What?”
Like a seductive lover, she whispers in my ear. “You heard me. I killed that colt. And I knew what I was doing the whole time.”
I close my eyes as the truth permeates my being, striking my very core. A wave of red bleeds out from my horn, expanding in all directions covering me. Numbness washes over me as the magical storm within me swells and swirls wildly, my mind being overwhelmed. The world shifts from crimson fury to purest white, fading away, only one thought remains, the only one that matters now.
I didn’t kill that little colt…
My breath catches in my throat as I cough and choke on the sooty air. My senses return in shuddering, halting bursts between the vertigo and pain. The last traces of white dissolve from the corners of my eyes, bleeding away into nothing as I come fully awake. My body aches as I lay on my side. The void around me is warmer than I remember and dust swirls in the air. My limbs feel heavy, sickly, as I try to pull myself up. I slowly, painfully scan the ground around me; an icy shard of panic pierces my heart as my eyes fall upon Mag’s still form.
“Mag!” I choke out weakly, dragging myself hoof over painful hoof towards her side. The color in her coat has faded and… I can’t tell if she’s…
“Mag, baby, come on. You have to wake up!” I furiously scrape at the ground with my hooves, until I finally reach her. I pull her close and cradle her in my forehooves. Her body is inert and cold to the touch.
I stroke her cheek as I grasp her tighter, fear and anguish threatening to overtake me.
“No… Mag… please...” My words trail off as my mind finally snaps. I gulp down the lump in my throat and shake her gently, hoping that she… “I just… I just found you. You can’t leave me. Not now. Not after all this. Please. Just please… wake up...” My body quivers, convulses. I weep into her mane, breathing in the faint scent of lavender and holding my breath, as if I’m keeping her here, inside of me. A choking sob breaks through when my lungs demand for air. “You can’t fucking leave me, Mag. I know I fucked up, but you can’t leave me.”
Rocking back and forth within the darkness, I cradle her still body and whisper, “...I’m sorry… I’m so sorry I didn’t find you sooner.”
A faint moan leaves her lips and I lift my head. Her eyes flutter weakly, and I can feel her trying to lift her forehoof. “C-Cursey…” Her voice is so frail and weak.
“Mag… I…” I caress her cheek again, trying to pull myself together for her. “I love you... I love you, with my whole heart.”
She gingerly wipes my tear-stained cheek and gazes up at me. Her breath is become shallower and frailer by the second. “Cursey… Tell me a s-story…” She murmurs quietly.
“It’s too late, Curse Word…” The disembodied voice of Ink Dye bubbles up around us as my heart sinks.
Yeah, maybe it is. And maybe, I’m just a sitting target here… but I’m not letting her go. I’m staying right here, end of story. Swallowing hard, I force the lump down and watch her carefully. Her breathing is faint…
“Once upon a time, there was a unicorn mare who always felt out of place with her pegasus family. She didn’t think she would ever find a place she truly belonged, or be accepted for the mare she grew up to be. Then, she met a mare she thought was the answer to her prayers, a mare she could love without fear of judgment from others… but this mare was more toxic for her than the life she left behind. She was a prisoner, in her own home, shouldering the pain and suffering she endured day to day. But she had courage; courage that the garbage mare didn’t anticipate, and she got out… she was free from everything that held her back, and she found a new place… a place to start over, and maybe find a new love… Mag?”
Stillness. The serenity of her lifeless form finally breaks me.
“Mag… please… this can’t be the end. It can’t be. Your story isn’t over, Mag! This isn’t THE END!”
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My eyes shoot open and I inhale sharply, choking on the breath as it rushes into my lungs.A small thud plunks down beside me as I cough and wheeze, finally calming myself. Glancing down, I notice the book laying haphazardly on the ground and the wooden floor that it’s on. I blink a few more times, unsure of what the fuck is going on.
Wasn’t I just…?
“Curse? Is everything ok?” A young, annoying and familiar voice exclaims. I finally glance up and see that little colt staring back at me. In fact, I am surrounded by the familiar sight of little foals settled around me, each one sporting a very confused expression as they peer at me intently. It’s then that I glimpse at the back of the room and I see the one mare who I thought I had lost for an eternity. My eyes lock on Mag’s lilac eyes. I feel the tears welling up, but stop them before too many can escape. She shies away, hiding behind a bookcase. Wait, a bookcase…?
I look around, recognizing this place… It’s the library from my hometown.
What the…
“Uh, Curse? Are you going to finish the story or not?” The little colt whines, picking up the book with his hooves.
“I-I think I need to take a little break.” I reply back, trying to calm my nerves. “Let’s meet back here in about 15 minutes, ok?” The group of foals proceeds to get up, groaning about a supposed cliffhanger I had left off on.
Before the little colt… Skip Scamper was his name, can take off with the foals, I yank him aside with my magic. He yelps as I turn him to face me. “What day is it?” I harshly whisper as my anxiety flares up.
He stares at me, confused. “Uh… it’s Tuesday, duh.”
I rub the bridge of my snoot, remembering how my patience always ran thin with this colt. “No, I mean, what’s the date?”
“Oh, it’s the 17th.” He states matter of factly.
“Of what month, Skip?!” I hiss.
“Of June. Shouldn’t you know these things? You’re the adult here.”
June 17th. That’s the date of the first time I ever talked to Mag. What’s the fuck is going on? Before I give my mind a chance to enjoy this moment, I ask Skip, “I have one more question: do you know that pink mare who was in the back of the library?”
“You mean Magpie?”
“Yes, I mean Magpie. How long has she been working here?”
“Ugh, you said there was only one more question!” He grumbles.
“Just answer the damn question, Skip!”
“Fine!” He sighs, irritated. “I think for a few days. She’s the new assistant librarian.”
Only a few days. That must mean…
“Can I go now?” Skip tugs at my forehoof, trying to get my attention.
I shake my head, quieting my thoughts. “Yeah, sure kid. Go play with the other foals.” I reply, walking away from him, but stop when I remember his connection to everything.
I whirl around, and call out, “Hey Skip! Wait!”
He skids to a stop, stamping his hoof on the ground, peeved. “WHAT?” He yells back.
A collective shush echoes from the library as he and I wince, realizing our volume.
I trot over to him. “Is your dad dating anyone?”
His bright emerald eyes gawk at me. “Ewww, why would you ask me about that?” He sticks out his tongue, obviously disgusted by the thought.
“Oh Celestia damnit.” I mutter under my breath. “Not for me. I’m just asking for a… friend.”
His head tilts. “Uh… no. And he definitely wouldn’t date a mare like you.”
“Alright kiddo, go play with the rest of the foals…” My horn flares up, and I shove him towards the door. I can hear him mumbling about not ever wanting me as a mother, as I finally make my way to the back of the library.
I quietly trot, glancing between the rows of bookcases, until I finally come across the last row of the very back of the library and find her. My heart races as I feel the edges of my eyes sting with tears. I linger at the end of the row, watching as Mag delicately picks up a book from the cart sitting next to her with her mouth, and daintily places it back onto the shelf.
I remember this now. How she would always refuse to use her magic for the simplest of tasks when I first met her. I never understood why; she always gave me the excuse of ‘trying to conserve magic’. I understand now. It had been engrained into her that she wasn’t allowed to use it.
That bitch, Ink Dye—
My fur stands on end as I realize I’ve already been in a similar situation like this before. I’m on guard; my eyes darting back and forth, trying to see if there are any hints of this being an illusion just to torment me. I start to grab books off the nearby shelf to flip through hastily, seeing if there are any inky blots within the pictures of the books.
“C-can I help you?”
I jump, dropping the books within my magic when I realize she is standing right behind me.
“Uh… no.” I spin around and try to hold my composure as I’m greeted by the sweet trace of Lavender.
That scent… It really is—
“Oh, okay.”
Right as she is about to turn away, I realize what I need to do. “Wait! I-I’m sorry.” I smile nervously, trying to cool my nerves. “I was just trying to find another book to read to the foals.” I weakly laugh.
Mag’s expression drops to concern and confusion. “I think you might be in the wrong section for that…” She says, pointing a hoof to the sign hanging in the row that reads “Equestrian Law.”
“Well, I guess it’s never too early to start them on…” I yank a book off the shelf next to us, and read aloud, “Architecture Regulations for Pegasi Structures, Volume 12… How in the fuck do they have twelve volumes for this…?” I stare at the book, realizing how dumb I sound, but before I can get a word in, Mag giggles at me.
“It’s a real page-turner. Don’t forget to read out all the subtext and the footnotes.” She smiles at me softly. She reaches down to pick up a book from the ground. Before she gets the chance, my magic ignites, gathering all the books I dropped.
“Sorry for making this mess.” I shrug, placing them all back into their rightful places.
“Don’t be. It gives me more of an excuse to stay back here rather than deal with… her.”
...Her? My throat falls into my stomach as my mind races, bracing for the inevitable.
“Who’s… her?”
Mag’s body stiffens. “The… librarian… oh gosh, are you one of her friends? I’m so, so sorry, I didn’t mean it, I—”
I let out a massive sigh of relief that grows into a joyous, loud laugh. “Holy fuck, she’s such a bitch.”
Instantly, Mag’s shoulders relax, a small smile spreading on her lips. She giggles to herself, “You really had me scared for a second there. I thought I might be the only one.”
“Oh, God no! Everyone in this place hates her!”
“That’s comforting!” Mag replies rather chipper.
Noticing the cart of books behind her, I proceed to grab all of them with my magic and place them back on the shelf. “Here, let me get the rest of them. I… I don’t think I got your name. I’m Curse Word.”
Mag smirks at me, tilting her head. “Well, Curse Word, I can see why you aren’t a librarian.”
“Oh? How come…?”
“Well, you just placed ‘Amphibians of the Swamp Lands’ in Equestrian Law. I’m not sure if they wrote the laws, but hey, I’m new here. What do I know?” Her lilac eyes beam brightly at me. “I’m Magpie, by the way.”
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And with that, Mag and I started over back where it all began. To be frank, it was odd and quite jarring at first; watching the same events unfold again with everything I know now, but I didn’t care. I made damn sure that I didn’t make the same mistakes again.
When those nightmares reared their ugly head, I was ready to face them head on with her. It was a slow, gradual process of finally getting her to talk about her past, but I waited patiently, and tried to steer her in the right direction. My biggest fault in that was, well, being blinded by the rose tinted glasses I always wore when I looked at her. All I had ever wanted was somepony to just love me, and she was all of that and more. She said in that void she thought she was too broken to loved, but the truth is, I think you’re never too broken to be loved. I mean, she loved me the first time around.
Everypony is broken and damaged on some level, and I was no exception. Some of us just hide it a lot better than the rest.
If anything, I’m a bit more damaged now, especially after, you know, the hundreds of years of being a raging psychopath. The real big kicker in all this: it seems like not a single pony remembers anything of “The Lost Narrator.” I mean, why would they? I time leapt to a point before all that happened. All of it.
Although, that’s the thing: I’m the only one who has retained any recollection of, well, everything. Maybe this is all some ‘alternate timeline’ of sorts? I still don’t completely understand what happened, but as I comb over all the details of these events and how it unfolded, it’s a miracle in itself that I’m even standing here, telling you this story, and not from the psych ward.
It doesn’t mean this has all been easy for me to readjust back to this old life. It’s never just a walk in the park, especially when I was that corpse for so long. Do you know how unnerving it is when I come across a pony I damned in another life? The guilt overtakes me, even more so when I consider that I’m capable of making it all happen again. It’s an ignorant mindset to not realize my words could have devastating ripples around me. However, second chances are not meant to be taken for granted, and I would be a selfish, ungrateful asshole if I ever did that.
Still, there are moments where I catch myself flinching away from Mag because I’m… I’m afraid of not being able to control this power. At my weakest moments, my mind derails and thinks maybe she would be safer without me. If I’m with her, I might enact the same mistake again, and send us back into that damned future. I mean, how do you keep those inhumane tendencies at bay, especially when you’ve been giving into them for the last several hundred years or so? How do you rewire yourself?
Well, I can tell you, it’s not a single pony job. Love really is a two way street. I’m helping build her back up again, and little does she know, she’s doing the same for me.
And there you have it. The story of Curse Word, the pony who finally found her Beloved, but only after losing herself along the way to the twisted, grotesque nature that rises in ponies out of loneliness and bitterness. This isn’t supposed to be some kind of narrative where you find this clear cut moral of how to be a better pony, because it’s more complicated than that. Life is this mixture of the blacks and whites; dark and light grays where you have to find your own way. Sometimes there aren’t any definitive answers, no matter how hard you search.
I mean, except for how much of a bitch Ink Dye is. There’s no denying that.
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“This sunset is gorgeous. I love the colors fading into each other like that.”
“Yeah, me too.”
“…Is everything ok, Cursey? You’ve seemed a bit out of it lately.”
“Oh? Yeah, I’m fine. Just tired is all.”
“You… didn’t sleep again, did you?”
“You can read me like an open book sometimes, you know that?”
“Well, you’re my Cursey. So, of course, I can.”
“Mag… if I ever did something… horrible, would you still love me?”
“How horrible are we talking? Like eating the last piece of cake, because I’m not sure about—“
“No, you dork. I mean… something really bad. Like, hurting somepony.”
“They’d have to really fuck with you to make you want to hurt them.”
“But what if they were innocent, and just in the wrong place at the wrong time.”
“But there has to be a reason why you would hurt that pony. You wouldn’t just go around hurting ponies without rhyme or reason. There’s always a reason.”
“Mag, just answer the question. Would you still love me?”
“Cursey, I’m always going to love you. No matter what. I’m never going to leave you, remember?”
“…Promise?”
“Promise. Besides, you don’t have a rotten bone in your whole body.”
“…Not anymore at least.”
“Did you say something?”
“No, nothing. I love you Mag.”
“Helllllllloooooooo! I’m here! I have it! I’ve got that last soul you wanted!”
“Ah, yes, it looks like you finally completed your task.”
“I’ve waited so long for this! I know it was… wrong, but… I’d do anything to be with my Cursey.... So, here. The last soul you asked for. Now, how does this work exactly? Do I just… appear next to her in the real world or does time sort of undo itself? Does this mean her appearance and stuff will change too? I never really asked for details… I guess as long as I get out of here, it’ll be okay—”
“You’re not going anywhere.”
“Wait, but I thought I would get to be with her, does this mean she’s coming here?! But you said—”
“I only promised that I would help you be reunited with your beloved.”
“Yeah, and she’s still out ther—”
“No, no… She’s actually been here the whole time. Right beside you, watching, waiting, longing… I finally have you, my little bird.”
“I-Ink! I-I, wait! No, no… no, no, no, NO, NO, NO—”
“Come now Magpie! Haven’t you missed me?! I’VE waited so long for this moment, to finally be able to reveal myself to you… Do you know just how torturous it was to watch you… fawning over HER all these years?!”
“But how?! What’s going on?! Where is he? Where’s the one I made the deal with!”
“Oh, that voice? Did you like that voice? Imagine if you will, hearing that voice while he performed all those… experiments. No thanks to you and that… mare, I was left to rot in that prison—”
“Please! Don’t come any close—”
“Do not interrupt me! If you hadn’t disobeyed me and run off all those years ago, none of this would have occurred! Prison and magical experimentation tend to have... interesting effects on the mind and body. All that matters now is that I can finally talk to you, my little, little bird… I’ve missed you so much…”
“No, Please! I have to—”
“Have to what? Stay with me forever?”
“But, Curse—”
“DO NOT EVEN UTTER THAT MARE’S NAME! She was the one who caused all of this, to the both of us! She brainwashed you and kept you away from me! It was her words that made me kill my own child! All of these terrible, atrocious acts are because of her! Do you not remember?! It’s been that long, hasn’t it! It’s alright though. We can still be together… I can still fix this!”
“I... “
“Magpie, I love you. I have always loved you… Why can’t you seem to understand this? I sacrificed my whole world to find you. When… Curse Word damned you the same way she damned me, who was here to give you hope? Who was the one to save you? You would have disappeared into nothingness if it wasn’t for me! This infused magic has been a blessing and a curse. I may have lost my physical form, but I was able to create and control this limbo for you. To keep you safe, away from her… Even without my physical form, I am still capable of taking care of you better than she ever could. And now, as nothing more than ink, I was still able to find a way… a way to bring us back together. You see, one soul is capable of solidifying my state for a few seconds, and so I had a brilliant thought: what would happen if I gathered an absurd amount of them? She was already murdering and maiming all those poor ponies, so why not put them to good use? And, here we are. You’ve gathered enough of them because of Curse Word’s horrendous deeds, and I can finally become whole again!”
“What… have I done?”
“I can feel it working... bones and skin and fur… FINALLY! I can be a pony again, fully restored! And you and I can be togeth— Wait… what’s happening? Why isn’t it-UGH! NO! AHHH, NO, MAKE IT STOP!”
“I-I… no.”
“ARGGGHHHH! WHY DIDN’T IT WORK?! I’ve scrutinized over this for years, ensured that every detail was perfect! So many countless years of crunching those numbers! THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO WORK!”
“NO! PLEASE! DON’T—”
“Oh stop it! It’s not like I can even strike you! I’m ink, nothing but ink now! That’s all I am! All I can do is… spread…”
“What are you doing?!”
“Hmm… Interesting… How does it feel, my little bird? To have me seeping into your coat, underneath your hooves, all over you? How does it feel to be one with your Beloved?”
“No! Stop it! Please!”
“Let yourself go Magpie! Don’t fight it; don’t fight me! We can truly be together forever because our love is stronger than—”
“C-Curse…”
“... Really? Still?! Even after everything I’ve done for you, for us, you still reject me? This is fine. You never did know what to do without me anyway, but it’s ok, I’m here now.”
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How long has it been now… decades? Centuries? It doesn’t feel like all that long ago, but goddamn, it’s really been a very, very long time.
The years have been hard and the changes… severe, but nothing I haven’t earned I suppose. This old horn, rotted through and punctured with holes; my cold, monotonous heart, pounding through putrid flesh and mangy patches of hide; and only these jaundice yellow eyes to stare back from my reflection, the crimson irises aglow like fire. This immortality seems to be my own personal curse... for killing her all those years ago.
It’s not like any of this even matters anymore. She’s dead. There’s no point in lying to myself. It was so much easier in the beginning, believing that all I had to do was look hard enough and I would be reunited with her. Even as the decades passed that hope never waned… not until that last time I returned home.
How was I supposed to know that it had been 70 years? I didn’t fucking age, and that stupid bitch librarian… She was still there, running the library. I didn’t believe it at first. That old, wizened mare behind the counter… It wasn’t until she showed me her cutie mark that it hit me. The last remnants of hope withered and died with the realization that day.
Pony mortality isn’t as long compared to other creatures, and the body decomposes pretty fast if in the right setting. Ashes to ashes... dust to dust, you know?
Technically, I should be dust at this point, but no; here I am, standing in this amber drenched forest, looking down at this worn piece of leather, lifeless in my hooves. This… mask; the one damn thing that was supposed to shield everypony from my words. I mean, why else would I sew the mouth slit shut? I honestly didn’t want to tell anypony my stories, but what else was I expected to do to pass the goddamn time? It’s not like ponies would sit and even have a “normal” conversation with me, especially when… I look like this. They run screaming from me the second they catch a glimpse of The Lost Narrator… this monster.
At the end of the day, that’s what I am, right? This immortal, monstrous creature that ruins lives with her stories. So, why be something that you’re not? Isn’t that what my super, special talent really is? The real reasons as to why I became this thing don’t matter, because it’s Fate. That’s what all of this really is. I fucked up... and I was the one who killed her.
Do you know what’s funny though? This mask isn’t supposed to come off. This fucker fused to my rotten, pus-oozing flesh, and suddenly, the bitch peels off like nothing and ta-da: brand new fucking fur and flesh.
I keep unconsciously running my hooves over my renewed face, and bitterly pull away when I realize what I’m doing. It’s not supposed to be like this, considering the rest of my body is a still decomposing mess. I clench my teeth as a ball of anger wells up within my chest. None of this makes sense, and for this to finally fucking happen now…
Fate is just really screwing with me at this point, huh? Feels like she’s just bend me over and plowing me hard.
The moon begins to shine overhead and bleed through the leaves and branches around me. How did it get dark so soon? I should probably set up camp for the night. With a flick of my magic, flames erupts from the logs in the center of the grove. I settle down and stare at the wisps of flame, flickering in the air. My eyes begin to unfocus and I just let my mind wander over all the details of this new… development. Even if by some divine intervention I was restored to my former self, it’s not like I deserve something like this. There hasn’t been any form of atonement for my actions, and even if there was, that wouldn’t fix any of this. What’s done is done. Murder is and always will be the greatest mortal sin, so for this to be happening… well, we all know that monsters don’t get second chances.
No, no… after the hero conquers the villain and saves the day, the monster usually gets obliterated into nothing. What I wouldn’t give to just be that… nothing. For everything to just go black and my existence to cease. You would think that I would want to just die, because then maybe I could see her again… but I don't even want that. Fate wouldn’t allow that. I don’t deserve to see her again, especially after everything I’ve done. I mean, what would I even say to her if I actually got that chance?
No, to just dissipate into nothingness is all I crave at this point.
I blink and my eyes re-adjust as my hoof slowly reaches out to the flames before me. I watch the flesh sear and crisp as it blackens within the fire The stench of rotten, cooked meat fills my nostrils. I feel no pain as I continue to watch the tissue cauterize, chunks of fat beginning to fall of the limb and soon all I am left with is a charred, hollowed bone and hoof. I pull the hoof away from the inferno and stare. Warm blue energy appears around the ruined limb, coalescing over it and quenching the remaining flames as muscle, skin, and fur are reformed beneath its glow, but instead of looking healthy and lively, it’s still putrid and revolting.
Like I said, this fucked up version of Fate is railing me super hard.
Snap!
My ears swivel towards the sound as my eyes remain locked on the fire. It would seem that some poor, unfortunate traveler may have stumbled upon my campsite.
“If you’re looking for a place to rest from your travels, you’re more than welcomed to share my fire…” I shout from over my shoulder. “Just gotta listen to a story is all.” It’s seriously too easy to lure tired souls with stories and a warm campfire, especially now that I don’t look like a goddamn scarecrow. I mean, who in their right mind would turn that down?
There is no response, but the hoof steps continue their slow, steady, deliberate crunches, drawing closer.
“Ah, the silent type, huh? Guess that’s a good thing for listening to stories. Hurry up and come over by the warmth of the fire. It's always chilly during this season, and you don’t want to catch a cold.” Geez, this pony is taking for-fucking-ever. Seriously, I could have been half way through my story by now if this cunt wasn’t taking their sweet time. Maybe this pony is actually being cautious, unless they are trying to get the one up on me. That happens from time to time; idiots seeing a lone pony, thinking she would be an easy buck. Little do they know, Fate’s already beat them to it.
The hoof steps come to a crawl as they get closer. What the hell is this pony’s problem?
“Ok, seriously. What the fuck is going on over—” My impatience gets the best of me. I whirl around, only to be met with the empty clearing. I scan left to right, expecting for a figure to appear, but all I hear is the crackling of the campfire.
I sigh to myself, annoyed that I’m obviously hearing shit again, and turn back to the fire.
“Look at what you’ve become…” A pony’s voice echoes out from the trees before me. At least, I think it’s a pony. I can’t see anypony in the darkness of the forest. “You sit here, waiting for vulnerable ponies who only want a place to rest, preying on their trusting nature…”
“Yeah, and what of it?” This wouldn't be the first time, another overzealous pony trying to play the hero. Considering how many ponies I’ve damned with my stories, it’s no surprise when somepony who loves them comes after me.
“But preying on them isn’t good enough, is it? You weave cursed words, forever trapping their souls in a perpetual, spiraling hell from which they can never escape. You kill them, body and soul.” This voice… voices… their voices echo and bounce all around me. How is this even possible? I don’t see or hear anypony using their magic.
“You can’t kill ponies with just words. If that was the case, I could just tell you to fuck off and die. Considering we’re still having this conversation, your dumbass theory is fucking moot.” I laugh to myself. And here I thought my night was going to be boring.
“But isn’t that what you did to me?” A single voice whispers into my ear.
That voice. I could never forget that voice.
“Mag?” I whip my head around to the right, my heart leaping into my throat, and I am met with nothing… again.
I grit my teeth as I feel my patience snap. “Whoever the fuck you are, show yourself!”
“You have ruined so many lives and yet, here you are, lingering on without hope or salvation. What is keeping your tired corpse animated, Curse Word?” I hear hoofsteps again, except this time from every direction.
“I said show yourself!”I shout again as magic begins to coalesce and pulse around my broken husk of a horn. In my right periphery, a shadowy figure emerges from the bushes. I don't give the fucker a chance. Before it can take another step, a bolt of power erupts from my horn. Faster than thought, a black void appears from the ground and expands into a gaping maw of deepest ebony, engulfing the flaming bolt into its depths. I freeze and my mind goes numb as the magic winks out of existence. My magic, the same that has incinerated ponies whole and cleaved open flesh, even through armored plate… how can it be? How can that blackness just consume it…
The inky void slouches and writhes upwards from the ground, slowly revealing pink hooves… legs… until a complete form stands before me. I find myself face to face with a mare I thought I would never see again. A lump forms in my throat. I swallow hard, trying to force it back down.
Her eyes remain shut, a small smile playing on her lips. “You ruined me, Curse Word. You ruined me with your own words.” Her eyes slide open, and it is then that I realize something is off. As she moves closer into the light of the campfire, glistening yellow eyes glare back at me from within her dark violet mane. In the light of the embers, black splotches cover her once perfect pink coat. Wisps of ebony tendrils rise from the stains and lash out towards me violently, trying to strike. Without reason they freeze, slowly constricting back around her frame. As she strides forward, a trail of inky blackness remains behind, a river of nightmare ink left in her wake. Her haunting stare pins me in place… I can’t seem to break from it as my breath catches in my chest.
“This… T-this can’t be real…” I gasp. “You can’t be real.” I take a step back. No, there is no fucking way this is actually her. No, NO Fate! I know I deserve punishment, but not fucking this! How did she get here, and like this? What the fuck is wrong with her… Did… did I do this?!
“You found me, Curse Word..." Those eyes… they have me clamped in place. I can’t move, I can’t breathe! My words, my strength; it’s all gone! All I can hear is panicked screaming from inside my own skull, reminding me of my failures.
I didn’t find you! I couldn’t find you! You’re gone because of me! I will NEVER—
A sharp pain explodes between my shoulders forcing me down, pinning me in place. My head slamming into the ground snaps me out of my trance. I try to rise, but I can’t move. Glancing over my shoulder, I see a dripping ebony hoof shoving me into the forest floor. I struggle against it, but only slip and fall to the ground harder than before. The ink is spreading, beneath me, around me, consuming my body in its depths. It’s then that I feel them: wispy, inky tendrils beginning to wriggle all over my body.
“Mag! I’m mph—” Wet, cold, what is this? My mouth is forced open and pure darkness pours into my mouth and down my throat, silencing my cry. It’s joined by more, slithering and constricting around my limbs and through my coat as I writhe. Wait… They aren’t writhing on me… They are in me! I can feel my body distend and I try to retch; my insides slithering like a bag of snakes….full of those things! I can’t breathe, choking on them as my throat begins to tighten. My hooves begin to sink into the ground, into the dark depths of the murky, obscure, black mess.
I can’t fight it. There’s no point. Maybe Death is erasing me from this existence, and I can fade away into this void. Please, release me from this fucking Hell and just let me drown in this emptiness! Sweet Celestia, please let this end! Just fucking end me!
Just before the inky void consumes me, I catch one more glimpse of her: the image of my Beloved imprinted into my mind. At least I can say I finally saw her one last time.
But… her expression though… Did I see pain?
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The faint, sweet scent of lavender washes over me. I take in a deep breath and it fills my lungs, spreading a warmth inside my chest. It’s her scent. She’s always smelled of sweet lavender. I remember times when I would be working on a story and she would try to sneak up from behind to hug or tickle me. Her scent would give her away though, before she got the chance to get close. Hell, sometimes it was so strong, the smell would engulf the room the moment she walked in.
It’s a bit odd though. The fragrance is so intense right now, like she’s next to me here in this darkness. Dear Luna, how I missed this. My lips curl into a faint smile as the distant sounds of… birds?
Wait. Birds. Why are there fucking birds here?
I try to open my eyes, but a gentle pressure keeps them closed. The world shifts and turns around me in a dizzying confusion, one where I can't find my bearings. Gravity suddenly reasserts itself as I flop down roughly into something soft… warm. I realize I’m laying on what feels like a bed.
The pressure on my eyes fades to nothing and I can finally open them; the light is blinding. I wince and reach a hoof up to rub them softly. I push myself up and glance around. Wait… Am I? I slam my eyes shut and shake my head. No… there is no way that's possible. I was just in that forest… Gradually, I open them again; nope, my eyes are working. To my utter disbelief, I’m sitting in my old bed, in the middle of my bedroom. It’s morning. The sun is out, pouring in through the window and the birds are chirping, like they couldn’t have a fucking care in the world. I glance down at my body and my heart nearly lunges out of my chest. My body… the skin is taut and fur soft to the touch. I catch my breath and try to process what is really going on. It’s then that I realize I don’t smell lavender.
“How in the Hell…” I fling the blankets off and leap out of bed, inspecting the room. It’s just the way I remember it. The bed, the dresser, the nightstand… My mind races. How is this logically possible? I gallop down the stairs to inspect the rest of the house. The living room, the kitchen, everything is just as I left it all those years ago. Nothing appears to be out of place… that is until I catch a glimpse of a picture frame resting on the coffee table in the living room. A lump forms in my throat as I pick it up with my magic, hoping and praying it’s how I remember it.
This picture… I know she and I are supposed to be in this, together. It was taken right after she moved in with me. She was so jittery and nervous, almost like she was terrified of overstaying her welcome. She kept second guessing herself so much around me. I could never understand why she was that. Hell, I was the one who insisted on her moving in. I mean, she was homeless at the time. How could I not offer? I remember that far off glazed look in her eyes, after she and I had finished moving what little she had into the house. Something was wrong, but I couldn’t nail it down, no matter how hard I tried. She just didn’t want to talk about it; she wasn’t ready to let me in. In a last ditch attempt to cheer her up, I pulled out the camera and told her we should snap a photo together; a little way of always remembering her moving in. She finally seemed to relax and came out of her daze when I pecked her on the cheek and snapped the photo.
I close my eyes and swallow hard. Things were so much simpler… back then… before I…
I lift the frame up to eye level and open them; the photo tauntingly reflects back at me from under the glass. I instantly feel the lump fall into the pit of my stomach. Of course she’s not in the fucking photo. Hell, there’s not even a spot for her anymore; I’m dead fucking center, just smiling back with a dumbass expression on my face. It’s been years since she’s been in this photo, or any photo for that matter. All of them in the house changed that fucking day I... Fuck, and to think I honestly thought things would be different for once. I shake my head as I place the frame down on the coffee table. Of fucking course it would be like this. I’m going to relive this reality over and over again, aren’t I? The one where I never find her. Where I… I made her stop existing. It’s been so fucking long that even I sometimes wonder if she was real at all. Maybe my mind is fucking fractured… maybe she’s just a mental fabrication. Am I fucking insane? Is this just my way of coping with everything? This immortality that I’m cursed with, the way Fate keeps fucking me over, I seriously feel like any fucking reality is possible now.
I take a deep, shuddering breath. This is fine. This is all fine. It’s not like I had any control anyways. Maybe I should just go back to sleep. At least Fate gave me a bed to rest in between getting fucked. I glance down at the picture one last time; it’s then that something catches my eye, something I missed at first glance. I ignite my horn and levitate it closer, when I notice a little black smudge on the lower edge of the photo. My eyes narrow as I stare at it for a little longer. Who spilled ink on this?
Knock, knock!
I lift my head and glare at the door. Really? I glance over at the clock. Who the fuck shows up this early? I have no clue what day it is, or the year for that matter, but whoever is behind that door can just sit and spin. I’m not answering the do—
Knock, knock, KNOCK!
Oh, it’s fucking on now. If this persistent ass clown isn’t going to leave until I answer the door, then I'll answer the motherfucking door. Trotting over, I feel a slight headache coming on. I fling it open.
“Look, I’m not...”
“Well, hello to you too, stranger.” My eyes widened as I realized who’s standing in the entryway. She… She’s here… right here. Her bright smile, her soft lilac eyes beaming up at mine; I can't take my eyes off of her. No fear or looming danger lingers in the air like before… It’s just her.
She’s real. She really is real.
Her head tilts slightly; her expression melting into confusion. “...of course I’m real.” She chuckles to herself.
I shake my head, not realizing I said it out loud. “Sorry, I -I mean, hello—”
Wait, did she just call me “stranger?”
My heart twinges with pain. I look away from her, trying to wrap my brain around what is really going on. Stranger… that’s not the right word. It’s a horrible expression that shouldn’t be coming from her lips. She’s supposed to be here, in this house, with—
“Is everything… ok? I can come back at another time—” She starts, but I abruptly interrupt.
“No!” I shout. God, I’m fucking this up left and right. I rub the bridge of my eyes with a hoof and take a quick breath, trying to soothe my nerves. “No, no. You’re fine. I’m sorry. I just woke up.”
“Had a rough night?”
“You… could say that.” I respond, feeling the edge of my nerves dull slightly.
“Well, I wanted to come over and meet my new neighbor. My marefriend and I just moved in across the street.” She points behind her to a quaint little house, across the way, with a white picket fence. I sure as hell don’t remember that house being across the street, but before I can think twice about it, the blood drains from my face. I try to grasp hold of the anxiety rising to the surface.
“Your… marefriend?”
Like a candle whose flame is carelessly blown out, her demeanor changes. Her eyes avert down to the ground, as if she’s ashamed and scared of my reaction. Her bubbly exterior just deflates, retreating back into her mane, as if trying to hide from me.
Wait, her mane is down? She never wore her mane down. She would constantly bitch about how it got in the way of her doing things—
“I’m so sorry. Ink said that I wasn’t supposed to go around talking about us, but since it’s a new town and I thought ponies wouldn’t care about two mares being together and—” She’s practically word-vomiting.
“Hey, hey! Slow down. It’s ok.” I cut her off, realizing she’s starting to back away from me and off the edge of the porch. “I… I could care less about that. I’m into mares too.” This conversation… what the hell is this?
“You… are?” She stops and slowly comes back to the doorway, revealing her face from behind her mane again.
“Yeah… It’s not that big of a deal. Besides, if anypony really does have a problem with it, they can go fuck themselves.”
She gasps and covers her mouth, shocked and taken back. “Hah… sorry, I just um… I’m not really used to hearing someone say...”
I cock my eyebrow. “Fuck? I’ve said it before in front of you, and you never cared then—”
“Before…?” Her eyes narrow in confusion.
“Celestia damn it,” I sigh and try to regain my patience again. “Nevermind, forget I said that.”
“No, please. What did you mean by ‘before’? Have we met?” She asks curiously.
I chew the inside of my bottom lip as I try to find the words. I don’t know what the fuck is going on. This has to be some kind of new reality… a new timeline maybe? Is that what happened? Did shit just reset? A timeline where she’s with some other mare and I’m just… here, alone and miserable.
Though, she is only with another mare here. She’s not missing. She’s not potentially gone forever. She’s just standing here, at least I think it’s her. It has to be. I’ve waited too long. Things are different and maybe this is a second chance, and the fact that she doesn’t even know me…
“Mag, I have to tell you something, and I know this is going to sound fucking insane.”
“Mag? No one’s ever called me that before. It’s… Magpie.” She corrects me timidly. “But how did you know my name… I don’t think I—”
“No, you didn’t. You didn’t tell me your name. I know you. We’ve met before, at the library, remember? You were working there because you had just arrived here.”
Her eyes begin to shrink into pin pricks as she begins to back away from me. “I don’t know what you’re talking… about.”
“Yes, you do Mag!” I shout, as I begin to walk after her. “I came up to you after I was done reading to the foals, and I asked you out. You were shy and unsure like now, but you weren’t always like this! You were fun and outgoing and you—”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about!” Mag shouts back, making her way to the middle of the road. She fumbles onto the ground, tripping over her mane.
“And you never wore your mane down, for reasons just like that. Here, let me help you up.” I reach her and offer a hoof.
“No! Don’t touch me!” The words pierce the air as she shoves my hoof away violently. Everything freezes. Nearby ponies stop in their tracks and look over at us. Her panic-stricken eyes fill with tears as she stares up at me. Her hooves raise over her head defensively, as if to protect herself… from me. She trembles in fear on the ground as I watch her mane fall to one side, revealing what looks like a… bruise on her neck.
“Mag… What’s happened… to you? I’ve been looking for you for so long—”
“Step away from her, at once.” I hear a shrill, haughty voice sounds from behind me.
I whip around to see another pony, one I thought I’d never see again. Memories flood my mind as a small white and black mare stands before me. Her forelegs are planted firmly on the ground, like a viper coiled to strike. Her intense yellow irises stare back at me, scrutinizing the scene before her. They seem to glow from behind her jet-black mane. Not much has changed from the last time I saw her. A pang of guilt strikes as I wonder where her colt is.
She makes her way over, placing herself between Mag and I, separating us.
As I try to step around her to reach out to Mag, her voice comes out like ice. “I wouldn’t do that if I were you.”
“Look, I don’t know your fucking name, but you—”
“I am Ink Dye, and I don’t appreciate you terrifying my marefriend.”
My mind reels as the name hits me like a brick wall. “You’re Ink Dye…? You?”
“Yes, you heard me. Now if I were you—”
“Mag!” I shout from over Ink’s shoulder, catching a glimpse of her jumping at my voice. I feel a laugh begin to creep up my throat. “This little scrawny bitch is Ink Dye?!”
Mag’s eyes are locked on mine, as Ink Dye begins to help her up.
I feel cold pinpricks spread across my coat as the pieces finally click into place. “I knew it. I fucking knew it! She hurt you, didn’t she?!” I shove a hoof in… that bitch’s face. “Why the fuck didn’t you just tell me?! So many sleepless nights, staying up with you, comforting you after those fucking nightmares… all because of this little cunt? I could have handled her myself! All you had to do was tell me… to trust me. I knew I should have pried more!”
“I… don’t know you…” Mag quietly says, retracting back into her mane.
I clench my teeth. Enough is enough. I channel power into my horn and shove Ink Dye away from Mag. Ink flails through the air, and I take a step closer. She cowers back as I come face to face to her.
“Mag, please... You need to listen to me. I have to tell you a story... about us… and how were supposed to be together...” I beg as I reach a hoof up to her face. Her shaking form remains rooted to the spot as tears flow freely from her eyes.
Just as I am about to start, I clear my throat and take a deep breath. It’s then that I realize… she doesn’t smell of lavender.
“I think you’ve told enough stories.” Ink’s voice crawls into my ear. Without warning, obsidian tears rip through world around us, melting everything into puddles. Mag’s form begins to dissolve and fade into the void as I scream out. No! I just found her! You can’t fucking take her, Fate! Not now! I know what I was supposed to do! I feel the inky coils wrapping around me again, dragging me down. They rend and shred at my new flesh, searing pain floods my senses.
Pain. Mind ripping, bone jarring pain. It’s been so long since I’ve felt pain, but this is beyond anything I’ve encountered before. The fur on my chest peels off in large swathes, rotting muscle and sinew burst from underneath as the illusion shatters around me. My muzzle and face burn, as if drenched in acid as coarse leather forces its way up from beneath my fur. A silent scream wracks my form as the agony of lifetimes washes over me in waves; the pristine fur of my former body raining to the floor in tatters. My shrieking quickly devolves into shrill howls as I inhale, feeling the frigid air impale my wretched innards. I wriggle and flail, trying to fight back, but the dark coils hold me in place like stone. The smell of rot and decay overwhelms my senses.
Soft moans and whimpers escape my muzzle as I hang broken in the dark tendrils’ grasp. Tortured moans and the sickly sounds of fleshy matter reach my ears. With effort I lift my head, only for my eyes shoot open in terror. My field of vision is a disgusting amalgamation of guts and gore, an endless nightmare mass of twisted pony bodies. Limbs twist and contort at odd angle, eyes bulge from sockets… or empty sockets are all that remain as they turn in unison towards me. Merciless unyielding eyes glower and pierce me as they cry out my damnation.
“Do you remember them?” Ink’s voice purrs as it reverberates inside of my skull. I clench my jaw and try to glance around me. “There’s no use, Curse Word. I'm the one in control here.”
“Wanna fucking bet?!” I ignite my horn, but soon realize something feels… wrong. The light emanating from it isn’t spreading as it should. The magic is just out of reach, like somepony is muffling it with a pillow. My magic wavers and fades before shifting into jet black darkness.
“Look before you, Curse Word… look at the pure devastation you’ve left in your wake!” A crimson glow spreads from beneath me, enveloping the piles of corpses in its light, spreading like a wave of blood. The rotten husks of ponies begin to stir, decayed limbs twitching in the blood-soaked brilliance. A unicorn with his own horn impaled in his right eye shambles past the torso of a gutted pegasus as one by one they rise, coming ever closer. They are deliberate and move as one, a cacophony of snapping limbs, splattering blood and broken bodies. Entrails fan out like small tails as the gory sea rolls towards me.
“All of these souls have been blessed by your super special talent, Curse Word! Did you enjoy reading them their final stories?!”
“No, I didn’t! I was just—”
“Oh, yes you did!” Ink’s voice echoes louder and louder with each word. “You had a choice and this is what it brought you. It wasn't enough to damn your silly, little ‘beloved’, you had to damn everypony else along the way as well. One has to think… If Beloved saw you now, would she even have the compassion and patience to love a murderer like you?”
“Shut up!”
“A killer who dismembers, a psychopath who deceives, a beast who rampages, a sinful degenerate like you who finds gratification in the slaughter of innocent lives!”
“Do you think I got off on killing all these fucking ponies?! I never wanted this!” I scream back, the sound of gnashing teeth and fetid corpses coming nearer.
“Your actions speak otherwise!”
“But this was Fate! Why else would—”
“Fate?” She giggles shrilly in my mind. “Fate is something for foals and fillies hiding under their blankets! It does not exist! Fate is just a sad excuse for the weak minded. Only ponies and their decisions exist. Their damnation, their pain is because of you! It’s your fault that she’s gone. It is your fault that all of these ponies are dead, and you will never find peace, because you will never find Magpie. Simple as that.”
“I didn’t fucking chose my own cutie mark, you stupid bitch!”
There really is no fate. This really is all my fault…
“I didn’t ask for any of this!”
No, but I didn’t do anything to stop it either…
“They were the ones who chose to listen to my fucking stories!”
But I didn’t have to kill all those ponies…
“None of this is my fault because I’m a victim of fate!”
This is my curse. I will bear it alone…
“No matter what lies you scream Curse Word, I can hear the truth within your rotten heart...” Ink’s voice echoes off into the distance as the corpses’ excruciating wailing drowns her out.
A faint blue light shimmers in the murkiness. It drifts in the air, moving closer to me. I watch it carefully, not sure what to make of it. It reaches my snout and lands gently a top it. The aura intensifies as it spreads across my snoot and over the rest of my body. I slam my eyes shut against the brightness as the glow engulfs me.
I feel a sharp tug behind my navel, and my hind quarters are yanked skyward as my limbs are ripped free of the ebony tendrils. The world fades into a soft blue; exhaustion overtakes me. Up, down… nothing makes sense in this void as I spiral along in the light’s warm embrace, surrounded by the sweet scent of lavender.
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Sweet Luna, do I feel like shit. How long have I been out? My eyes slowly flutter open. I feel the cold slimy surface of the floor beneath me as I focus the rest of my senses. A murky void of indistinct grays surround me, fading to blackness towards the horizon. Picking myself up off the floor, I rub my head with a forehoof, wondering where the fuck I am now.
“It should be obvious at this point, Curse Word.” I don’t recognize this voice, I tense and slowly turn my head, glancing back over my shoulder. Of course there’s no one fucking there, there’s never anypony there when I fucking look.
“So, what's your story, cockwaffle?” I call back, annoyed. I brush off the murky residue from my cloak.
“Well, that was quite rude. You should be more cautious when addressing your betters...” There’s a smug tone underlining this voice and it’s irritating me to no end.
“You know what? I’m getting really tired of these games. Can we just speed up the process and get on with it?” A pair of humongous golden eyes wink into existence before me, ominous and looking slightly annoyed. I quirk an eyebrow as I stare up into the looming visage. “So where's the rest of you? Don't tell me they fucked you over as well? What's it like to need to shit, but have no asshole?”
“Please, do not bring me to your level. I thought the only victim here was you; that you were merely at the whim of the forces around you.”
“Oh, shut the fuck up. You don’t know shit about me. And who the fuck are you to tell me what I think?”
“My name is not worth mentioning to pathetic wretches such as yourself. All that matters is that I have a deal to offer you…” The voice calmly states.
“A deal? One second you’re talking back to me, and now we’re bargaining at the Tartarus flea market? Where the fuck do you come off?” I retorted.
“Oh, how amusing. You mask your fear with arrogance, but still wonder if it’s the devil himself you’re mouthing off to. No, no, I’m just someone who has lurked and watched the world play out from a distance, biding my time. Watching and waiting patiently because of my own… complications.” A hint of bitterness drips off that last word.
“Complications? Well I guess it would be hard to get laid without the right equipment, huh?”
The eyes narrow and I can feel hate radiating from them. A moment passes and a small sigh escapes from the floating orbs.
“I am here to offer you a chance… Something I’ve only offered to that other mare who was trapped in this void for so long.”
“Other mare? What other—”
“As I said, this is a chance I don’t grant to many. I don’t hand out offers every day. Only in very special cases do I ever offer this…”
“Alright, alright. Get on with it, tell me what fucked up door prize your offering me for attending this nightmare party?” I gloat.
“What if I told you I could finally make it all go away, the pain, the loss, the regret… Everything?”
My body stiffens. “The Hell you can—”
“I said don’t bring me to your level Curse Word. I do not tell lies. In this world, I'm in control and can erase anything I chose.”
“What do you mean by ‘erase’?”
“Do I have to explain everything to you? Remove, eradicate, to wipe away. It's no feat for me to remove garbage like you if I so choose.” My eyes narrow, unsure of what to make of this as the voice continues. “That is what you want, right? For it to end... To become nothing? Wasn’t that what you were blubbering about by the fire, before you were pulled into this place?”
“What’s the catch?”
“No catch. None at all.” The voice states nonchalantly.
I swallow hard, extremely skeptical of what’s being presented. “... It’s not that fucking easy.”
“Oh, but it is! You would finally be released from this existence, from the endless search for her. We both know you can never find her, no matter how many centuries pass. And wasn’t it you who stated that ‘Nothing compares to the loss of a Beloved?’ It’s what you truly want and you can finally have it: relief from this world and all of its fallacies of ‘true love’. Just accept my offer, and I can take it all away.”
My heart thuds in my ears as I watch those gigantic yellow eyes narrow at me, willing me to accept, to give in. Could I really be free of this pain? No more sleepless nights plagued with guilt; remorse and sorrow consuming my waking hours. I can’t be rid of it on my own. I can’t blank those feelings. They linger and burn through me, festering like rot until all that’s left is a hollow cavity of nothingness and I only have myself to blame. This is what I've wanted, craved for so long… This release... Having it thrown on a silver platter like this though… something doesn’t feel right. It wasn’t wrong about Mag though, it’s not like I could find her now. It's not like I have anything else to lose.
She’s dead. She has to be dead… My stomach churns and a fluttering sensation rises in my rotten heart. She has to be dead, right?
When the fuck did I start doubting that she’s dead? I mean, she’s supposed to be dead, but this… feeling. The scent of lavender, her lilac eyes… my heart quivers and twinges at those memories. A sensation swells inside of my chest, one that I haven’t felt in so long: hope. How could I forget this, what it really meant to love her? When did I forget what she meant to me? Doesn’t matter now, there’s no way I’m gonna let it go again. I love her, there's no denying it. The real question here is why the fuck does that thing want me gone so fucking bad?
I glare up at the golden eyes, cogs turning in my head as I try to make sense of all of this. Even if she was dead and I’m damned to remain like this for all eternity, I will never give up my search for her. I’m so fucking tired of this shit, of being fucked with and played. They can tear me apart, pull me down and drag out this pain but I will never stop. It’s my fault she’s gone, and by Celestia's burning mare heat, I will figure out a way to right this wrong, so fucking help me.
I shake my head, a rictus smile stitching across my face. “Hey, Piss-eyes! You can take your offer and shove it up your non-existent ass!”
A low rumble shakes the world around me, as the yellow eyes bulge and warp, exuding anger and resentment. A deep growl emanates from the direction of the eyes, warping and distorting into the shrill shriek of a high pitched, obnoxious voice.
This time, instead of the previous lower register voice addressing me, I am greeted by the spiteful tone of Ink Dye’s cunt voice. “You really are a persistent pain in my hindquarters, Curse Word. I will squish you under my hoof like the cockroach you are.”
“The only cockroach around here is you. Of all the ponies I cursed, why is it a cunt like you, who actually deserves to get her shit kicked in, that’s the one endlessly bitching me out?” I grit my teeth and watch as the eyes begin to rise. It's not until I see the dripping tendrils opening from within the darkness that a cold chill runs down my spine. The cavernous, gaping mouth grows wider, lunging towards me. Inky coils lash out as I turn to run, grasping my cloak and back hooves and yanking me to the ground. I scream and claw at the slippery earth as they drag me mercilessly into the gooey, gaping orifice poised to consume me.
“Luna damn it! I'm so fucking tired of these tentacles!” I grouse before they drag me in, submerging me in the onyx sludge.
A last thought occurs before my mind fades into darkness. … At least I never gave up, huh?
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I slowly drag my hooves down the walkways of this town. I have been so mentally exhausted as of late; it’s a miracle that I’m still finding the strength to make it to work. It’s the same old thing, each and every day: get up, go to work, come home to her, rinse and repeat. It seems like all I ever do now is work. The long, unending hours… so I can provide for the both of us. She gets to stay home, fritter away her time on her stories.
Coming back to a nice home cooked meal should not be too much to expect. What could she possibly be doing all day that it would be too difficult for her to ensure something is prepared by the time I get home? The lack of understanding on her part drives me up a wall. It’s happened too many times this week alone. She doesn’t appreciate the amount of time and effort I put into this life for us.
A sigh escapes my lips as I approach the front of our home. Living in this city, especially at the station I occupy, a good number of luxuries are to be expected. It's a shame that noble ponies of such standing cannot recognize my place among them.
Noble ponies? I read to fucking colts and—
I reach the door and open it with my hoof, stepping inside. The familiar sights of our lush interior greet my eyes. They peruse the lavish furnishing and finally come to rest upon my little bird. She looks as gorgeous as ever, her long luscious mane down. She seems startled by my presence, turning around suddenly, wide eyed and… frightened.
“Oh! You’re home early! I-I didn’t think you would be home this soon. I still had a lot to finish up. Like cooking up—”
“Cooking? No, this does not look like my dinner… What is that you are hiding?” I sneer as I hang up my scarf on the nearby coat rack.
“That’s your Hearts and Hooves day present. I-I wanted to get you something… nice.” I trot over, watching her carefully. The silly notion of this holiday had slipped my mind, especially with all the hours I have been working. She turns her gaze to the ground as I examine the wooden box resting on the table behind her. It is a simple wooden box, crudely worked. It appears to have a black drop shaped inlay in the center, as sad imitation of the prestigious mark upon my flanks. She continues, “I had some extra funds stored away, and I wanted to surprise you with—”
“You’re hiding funds?”
“No, I wasn’t hiding it from you. I just had it stored for—”
“For what Magpie? How did you even get the funds for this? You’re working some side common job under my nose again, aren’t you? Did you forget that I provide everything you need? It’s not enough that I work my hooves to the bone for us. No, you have to spit on that, working like a common mare.”
She shrinks under my words. “I just wanted to get you a new quill and scroll set. You’ve used that other one for so long. It looked worn down, and I just thought—”
“That's always the problem, Magpie. You tend to think when it isn't your strongest feature. You are still the same, pathetic naive mare I found. Just look at this garbage! Did you really think I would enjoy having this trash, cluttering up our home? That money could have been used for something else, something of worth! Do you even know how much this beautiful house costs? To live in this city?! Of course you don't! Just like you can't fathom what it would mean if you were seen purchasing this! Did you tell anypony who you were getting this for? The last thing we need is for any of the ponies in my circle finding out that we’re…” My brow knits into a frown as I catch my breath from the exertion. “You weren’t thinking, per usual. You never do.”
She hangs her head; her eyes glued to the ground. “No… I wasn’t thinking. I should have told you about the money. I’m sorry. ░░░░, I didn’t mean to upset you, I just… I wanted to do something special for you.”
“Something ‘special?’ Do you even understand how stupid that sounds? I’ve already told you what I expect of you, and trash like this is not anywhere on the list! You are supposed to stay at home and enjoy all of this! You literally have everything you could ever want. Why do you continuously disregard my wishes!?”
“░░░░, please, I didn’t mean to make you mad. It was just a gift!”
“Just a gift?! This stupid little box could have cost us our future! I have worked too hard to let some old, bigoted aristocrats take away everything I have labored over because of your incompetence.”
Why am I so angr—
My fur bristles, but I take in a calming breath, refusing to let her stupidity ruin all of this. My little bird just needs to be put in her proper place. What pony would not want the riches, the glory… even if we were only ever seen as ‘best friends?’
Best friends?
I grip the box in my hoof, offended by the touch of such rough hewn filth beneath my fur. Her eyes fill with a panic and a jolt of excitement runs down my spine and between my flanks, my heart beginning to pound in my chest. I need more, so much more of her, of my little bird. I hurl the box at her chest, anticipating the impact, the delicious scream to follow. Instead, my ears are greeted with the sound of it, the box shatters against the hazy blue field as my vision shifts to red. How… DARE she… How dare she use IT… here… in my home! She will regret breaking my rule!
My rule? What the fuck is going on? I’m better than this! Stop—
“I’m sorry! I-I didn’t mean to use my magic here. I know you said to never use it, I just—”
I silence her with a quick strike across the muzzle, dazing her. Her front legs buckle and she strikes the floor with a meaty thump. Her legs curl in defensively as she whimpers and my body responds at once. She has a lesson to learn though. Soon...
Stop it! Mag! You need to run now! Get away from me! No! Stop it!
“I’m sorry ░░░░… I just wanted to make it a special holiday. I promise I’ll never do it again.” She sobs, trying to back away from me.
“Oh, but I know you’re going to do this again! You never see the whole picture, and it’s time I finally made you realize it!” I loom over her crumpled form as she cowers in fear from my very presence.
My hooves pin her firmly to the floor and the blood rushes to my head—
No! What the fuck am I doing!? I would never—
... she continues to cry out in pain, it excites—
No, this isn’t how it’s supposed to feel! Mag! It's not me! I wouldn’t—
The sweet satisfaction of hearing her scream like that. I’m so close—
I can’t control it! Stop! Please fucking stop! I don't want this! I'm going to be sick!
… Cursey…
Mag?! Is that you?! I’m sorry! I'm so sorry! It wasn't me! I wouldn't...!
I know… All you ever did was love me...
I can’t stop it! I can’t control my body! I don't want to hurt you, ever!
Cursey... This isn’t you…
What?
Time stills and blue light engulfs my consciousness. Numbness washes over my limbs. A fuzziness creeps over and blurs my senses as the weightlessness sinks in. Pained wails fade away as a cold, solid surface rises to meet my sweat-drenched body, cradling me in its cool embrace. I lay there, unmoving, trying to catch my breath. All I want right now is bury my head in my hooves; I don't want to feel anything.
I’m done. I’m done with this fucking bullshit. What the fuck was I doing in there? Just… why? This doesn’t make sense! I… I laid my hoof on her. I hurt her… and I—
Nausea overpowers me, and I retch. Bile burns my throat and covers my muzzle. My insides knot at the thought of my hooves on her like that. Those panic-stricken, tortured cries… and my body… why did I feel like that? I… I-I liked that…
My stomach churns and seizes, and a wave of bile explodes from my mouth again.
I… I really am a monster.
“No, you’re not!” A voice calls from behind.
That voice… her voice. Why has it come to haunt me now? I don’t respond, curling deeper into myself, burying my face in my hooves.
Hoofsteps approach, frantic and quick. “Cursey! Please, get up!”
No, please… Just stay away from me. I can’t do this anymore! I—
“Cursey!” A pair of pink hooves yank me out of my thoughts, turning me around. A tingling, warm sensation encircles my form and tenderly washes away the grim and bile and soothes my nerves. The sensation fades and dissipates as she pulls me close. I breath in the sweet scent of lavender as I bury my face in her chest. She softly strokes my mane, rocking back and forth as she grasps me tight against her chest floof, refusing to let me go. I rest in her embrace, trying to comprehend what’s happening…
Is this really her…?
My eyes find her and my heart catches in my chest. Her lilac eyes are warm and smile down at me. This is how I remember her: her mane up in that silly little bun, locks of hair falling gently behind her; her smile so bright and calming, joy radiating from it. Her eyes brim with tears as she brushes a hoof softly across my cheek.
“I’m… sorry.” I mutter as I watch the tears fall, landing pitter patter on my snout. The droplets dampen my fur. “I hurt you… and I fucked up so much… I don’t even know if you’re real right now... because of this place, but—” I’m cut off as her lips meet mine. My body stiffens and relaxes. My barrier drops; I feelthis... I feel her. It is her. It really is Mag. Her sweet taste on my lips, her hooves pulling me close… I almost forgot what this felt like. I’ve been without her for so long, but I could never forget the way her lips feel on mine. Tears sting my eyes as I hold on to her, grasping her for all I’m worth.
The pain, the doubt… fear and regret… It’s been so much. Everything I’ve had to endure… but it led me to her... to this moment.
I found her.
She pulls away slowly and laughs breathlessly. “I should have magicked you a breath mint.” She chuckles, wiping away a few tears. I relax my grip and lean back, so I can sit up and face her. Mag’s expression drops. “Cursey, look at me, I don’t have much time. She’s trying to break you. I fucked up, Curse, and I can’t stop her, but you can still get out of here. I can help you get out of here.”
“There’s no fucking way I’m leaving you.” I grip her tight, my eyes locked on hers as I try to understand what’s going on. “What do you mean you fucked up? I don’t understand…”
Mag swallows hard and looks away. She rushes to her hooves and begins to pull me along. “We don’t have time to talk about—”
“YOU UNFAITHFUL SLUT!” An inky coil slashes out from the darkness twisting itself around Mag’s head, muffling her screams. She’s ripped from my grasp, her pin-pricked irises the last thing I see before she disappears into the darkness.
“MAG!” I wail, dashing after her.
Give her back you fucking—
“Where do you think you’re going?!” A single slimy tendril whips out from my left faster than I can dodge. It blooms and forks into a web of tendrils before enveloping my left flank and side; pain shooting down my nerves in jolts . The tendrils burrow and scythe into my flesh, yanking and pulling viciously as chunks of hide and meat rain to the floor. The black web spreads like a cancer, tearing and peeling as it consumes me. The fiery agony engulfs my other senses becoming my entire world as I scream out in pain. My body collapses in a spasming heap as the tendrils finish encircling me; squirming and writhing over my fur and flesh and creating festering wounds. Over my frantic screams, I hear her.
“Ink! Stop it! Leave Curse alone!” I rally my resolve and what little strength I can muster to turn towards her voice. I see Mag… shouting and... screaming... and... I think… she’s reaching out? The waves of pain distort my vision, vertigo encases my brain and my hearing fades in and out… I could've sworn she said—
“Oh, she did say that name, Curse Word.” The pain lessens from a raging inferno to lines of burning embers as the writhing mass of inky blades cease carving me apart. I hang limp as they lift me into the air, the ones around my neck flexing and contorting until I'm face to face with… it. Yellow orbs practically drip with disdain as they peer into my soul. My eyes flutter as I struggle to keep them open. Two inky tendrils slide beneath them and over my eyes, prying them open. I stare at the nightmare before me: a swirling sea of ink writhes and undulates around its form with inky tentacles rising rhythmically from the surface. Wings… I think they’re wings… jut out from just behind where its shoulder should be. They look like… dark pinions akin to feathers….quills maybe?
I choke down the rising terror in my gut and force out, “W-who the fuck are you?”
The rippling inky void nears mine and a smile slowly emerges below those yellow portals from hell; pure darkness is all that greets me within that gaping maw. The breath that emanates from within smells sterile, almost chemical, but also familiar. Cold and sharp, it stings the open wounds on my face.
“I am Ink Dye, Curse Word.” It speaks with chilling mirth, as an inky hoof slashes across my chest. It contorts into a mass of slicing inky blades, before thrusting into my chest cavity. “And you created me.”
