The Great And Powerful Trixie!!!

by Webdog177

Rating: everyone
Tags: Random, Adventure, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Trixie, Fancypants, Comedy, Cutie Mark Crusaders
Length: 2393

Trixie turns to villainy. She's not too bad at it, actually.

Behold!

Everypony bow down and grovel before the might and heart-stopping beauty of The Great And Powerful Trixie!!! The most powerful, evil, and decidedly amazing villainess that ever graced Equestria!

Bwahahahahaha!!!

...

...Are they even listening to me...?

Published 2018-10-01 19:50:01 UTC
Last updated 2018-10-23 15:40:48 UTC

Chapter 1

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Fancy Pants was bored.

Bored and Impatient.

Was the Canterlot Bank always so crowded? He wouldn't know; he normally had his servants go to the bank to take care of his errands instead of going himself. But a slight scheduling conflict -- that's what sending his most trusted servant to pick up his dry cleaning at the same time as the meeting with his personal accountant gets you -- left him with little choice but to go himself.

At least, that was the story.

At least Fleur De Lis -- his lovely Fleur -- deigned to join him on this outing. Silver lining, clouds, and all that.

But still… he was incredibly bored. And very impatient.

And then the lights suddenly went out.

That was… odd. Was there some sort of problem with the building? He assumed so, that is, until he heard a sudden dramatic laugh erupt behind him and he turned in place to see. There, not three feet from him was a mare, laughing maniacally, her head thrown back, smoke billowing all around her. She'd probably arrived from… a smoke spell, or something? Some kind of teleportation? Her mane was a striking silver and her coat a light blue. A purple cape -- decorated with stars of different colors -- covered her flanks and disguising her cutie mark, and a matching hat lay perched on her head. Her horn shimmered with pale lavender, which only served to confirm the fact that she had used some sort of spell to suddenly arrive in the middle of the bank.

Fancy tensed, wary. Either this mare was some kind of dangerous unicorn who planned on causing trouble in the middle of a crowded bank… or she was disturbed in some way.

Both situations were of equal cause for alarm.

"Citizens on Canterlot!" she called out in a booming, clearly-practiced voice, gesturing at the surprised crowd with a wide sweep of a hoof. "All of you lie down on the ground now, unless you wish to face the mighty wrath of The Great And Powerful Trixie!" She finished the declaration with a dramatic pose and a regal roll of the ‘R’ in ‘Trixie’. Her cape fluttered behind her in a nonexistent breeze.

Okay… so, disturbed, it would seem.

Was that some kind of moniker, or her actual name? Or both?

In a sort of confused and dazed way, the ponies did as she said. In their defense she was a bit… startling; it was kind of hard not to. It was like a knee jerk reaction and even Fancy found himself lying on the ground a moment later. With everypony on the ground and satisfied that no one would get in her way, the mare laughed loudly and vaulted over the counter, cantering into the back room. For ten minutes there was just the sound of cursing and muttering, and then a shout of "Ah hah!! The Great And Powerful Trixie is victorious at last!"

During the supposed theft no pony had run away, because at some point, going somehow unnoticed by Fancy and every single other of the thirty odd ponies in the bank, sloppy, lumpy-looking mud constructs had suddenly appeared from the ground and taken up guard positions at the front and back doors.

The Great And Powerful Trixie, or as she called herself, leapt over the counter again, now holding a rather unimpressively-sized burlap sack with a picture of a bit on it between her teeth. Fancy stared at the sight. That… just didn't make any sense. Why would she bother to go through all this… trouble -- if that’s what this was -- to steal such a small amount of money from the largest bank in Canterlot?

Suddenly, there was a loud sound outside the bank. The mare visibly perked up and raced towards the front to look out of the window to look.

"Ah hah!" she said, spitting out the bag of bits to the floor. "So, the authorities finally arrived to confront The Great And Powerful Trixie, have they?” She rolled the ‘R’ in ‘Trixie’ again. “Their overconfidence shall be their undoing!”

And then, without even hesitating -- or picking up the disappointing sack of bits -- the lone mare dramatically (Fancy was beginning to suspect everything The Great And Powerful Trixie did was dramatic) burst through the front doors to face an entire team of Canterlot guardsponies, her cape flowing behind her.

"Nobel Guards of Canterlot!" she announced loudly, digging her hooves into the concrete. "Hear me and fear my name, for I am The Great And Powerful Trixie! Surrender quietly, and I may yet show you mercy! If you don't, you will face complete and utter obliteration at my hooves!"

A split second later, she yelped and dove to the side as a concussion spell -- if Fancy was correct -- went sailing in her direction. The spell cracked against the wall instead and The Great And Powerful Trixie pulled herself up, her hat askew and more than a little flustered.

"So! It seems I have some neiiiiiiiiigh-sayers! No matter -- they have chosen a dignified defeat over a cowardly compromise. Truly, the Canterlot guards are worthy adversaries and deserve to fall at my hooves."

She turned -- dramatically -- back to the bank and her horn shined with lavender light.

"Fight, my putties! Fight for your mistress!"

As one the mud monsters left their guard positions to storm the entrance of the bank, The Great And Powerful Trixie trailing along behind them, cackling maniacally. At being left unguarded, all of the hostages made a break for the rear entrance, glad for an escape. Fancy remained where he was, confusion mixed with mild interest at the spectacle unfolding before him. He moved to the front window in order to see the battle unfold.

Well… this was… huh. Alright, then.

The guards were surrounded by at least three putty monsters to one, though they clearly had the advantage. Each pony took out the mud creations without obvious effort; some using magic and other bucking the sloppy constructs to dirt and mismatched rubble. A few were trying to hit The Great And Powerful Trixie in the chaos, but she was just sort of standing there in the middle, surrounded by a larger group of putties, laughing in a decidedly evil sounding way, occasionally pausing in her laughter to monologue about the hopelessness of the guards' situation.

Fancy felt Fleur sidle up beside him, and peered at her out of the corner of his eyes.

"Well… isn't this interesting?" he murmured.

"What about it, dear?"

"I mean, just… well, look at them. Really look at them.” They did so for a few moments, watching the fight. After yet another guard tried in vain to subdue the madmare, he continued, “None of them are even touching her. The best Canterlot has to offer, and she's making them look the foal. It's…"

Something he could work with, he considered saying, but held his tongue. There were too many ears, even now.

Fleur looked, and saw that Fancy was right. One of the guards even managed to sneak up close to the mare and powered up his horn for an attack, but was promptly dog-piled by no less than ten putty monsters. Trixie noticed this and laughed, declaring how silly it was to think she could be snuck up on.

"Well… I do believe they have it handled, don't you?"

Raising an eyebrow at Fancy, Fleur opened her mouth, but after a moment closed it, shrugging. "If you insist," she said at length.

Grinning slightly at Fleur's bemusement, Fancy turned and trotted off towards the back door. The bank job might have been a bust, but there were lots of other things to do that day.

And many more plans to make.

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Chapter 2

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Pinkie Pie was excited.

Which was much better than being bored. She had been bored ten minutes ago -- back when there had been nothing to do and everypony was busy doing their own things. Rarity didn’t wanna play with her, something about being caught up in a deadline or something. Fluttershy had her animals to look after. Applejack had a delivery of apples to make. Rainbow Dash was practicing for the Best Young Flier competition, and Twilight was rearranging the library. Again.

Boriiiiiing!

But now -- oh, now -- they were confronting The Great And Powerful Trixie!!!

Who apparently was a supervillain now.

Their very own supervillain!

“--cower before my might as I use my magic to--”

The dastardly unicorn was interrupted by having to frantically dodge out of the way as a shiny red apple flew past her head, splattering into a pulpy mess against the wall of the building behind her. After a brief fight between her hoofs and her cape, she stood up again.

“Well! That was awfully rude! Interrupting The Great And Powerful Trixie right in the middle of her villainous monologue! Harrumph!”

She actually said harrumph. Complete with turning her head to the side and pouting of her lips indignantly. It was great! The Great And Powerful Trixie was, by far, the best bad guy -- or girl -- that Pinkie had ever seen.

“Get them, my putties!”

Suddenly, the mud monsters that Pinkie and her friend been running circles around so easily before charged, jumping on each of Pinkie’s friends in teams of nine or ten. Before she knew it, she was pinned in place and unable to escape. Even Twilight seemed trapped, her horn flickering wildly in agitation.

“Anyway… as I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted,” the villain said smugly, “you will cower before my might as I use my magic to--”

“‘Lan sakes,” Applejack said. “What, didja practice this speech, or somethin’?”

Pinkie turned to see her friend being piled on by no less than ten putty monsters. Even with her strength, it looked like she was having trouble with the magic monsters. She didn’t look too happy.

The Great And Powerful Trixie paused. She quickly turned away, her head drooping.

“Does it matter?” she asked, her tone the sulkiest and most pitiful as Pinkie had ever heard -- and she knew the Cutie Mark Crusaders. “It’s not as if anypony even listens to me. Honestly, I don’t know why I bother. Nopony cares. Or appreciates it.”

And then Pinkie heard the sniffling.

“I know what you all say about me,” she continued, her voice choking up. “T-that I’m a fraud. A showmare. And a--”

“No!” Pinkie cried out, her heart going out to the poor mare. If there was anything she couldn’t stand -- she wouldn’t say hated, because she also couldn’t stand the word hate -- it was sadness where there could be laughter, after all. “N-not your magic! Please! Whatever you do, don’t use your magic! Anything but that!” She put as much horror as she could into her tone.

“Pinkie Pie, what are you doing?!” Applejack hissed from inside her pile.

Pinkie ignored her.

After a moment, Rarity seemed to catch on. “Ah-- yes! Please! Have mercy! I have so much to live for! I’m still so young -- I haven’t even met my prince charming yet!”

The Great And Powerful Trixie was quiet, her sniffles seemed to quieting. And then, with a dramatic flourish, she spun around.

“Haha! So! At last, you break! But you will find no mercy from the likes of me! Prepare yourselves, Pinkie Pie, Rarity! As I power up a mighty spell of my own creation”--pinkie wondered how dangerous it could possible be if that was the case--” to cause havoc and devastation of untold proportions!”

As The Great And Powerful Trixie cackled maniacally, her horn began to glow.

“Witness, foals, as I use my magic to turn everypony’s fur green!!!”

Indeed, she had managed to shock the residents of Ponyville -- many of whom had turned up to see what the spectacle was about -- into speechlessness. The actual evilness of her plot may or may not have been exactly that, but Pinkie didn’t see any reason to change her mind.

Nor did Rarity for that matter.

“What?!” she shrieked. “Noooooo! You monster! You horrid, horrid monster!”

Pinkie wasn’t actually sure if Rarity was actually playing along or not.

Judging from the diabolically practiced laugh coming from The Great And Powerful Trixie, she either didn’t notice or didn’t care.

In the end, it just didn’t matter. Applejack and Rainbow Dash finally broke free of their putty prisons, and Twilight finally exploded out of her pile with her magic, and everything just kind of snowballed from there. The Great And Powerful Trixie’s evil plan to turn everypony’s fur green was thwarted and, according to Twilight, the spell was utterly foalish anyway. Something about ‘not being able to actually turn every pony’s fur green at one time.’

Pinkie actually wasn’t paying attention to her explanation.

The Great And Powerful Trixie did some gesturing with her cape, made a speech about how this wouldn’t be the last time they saw of her (Pinkie so hoped not!), singled both Pinkie Pie and Rarity, as well as Twilight, as her most dangerous adversaries even though Applejack and Rainbow Dash had been the ones to actually take out most of her putty thingies, and then disappeared in a poof of smoke.

Her minions just sort of dissolved into the dirt under their hooves.

Rainbow Dash went flying off, yelling something about ‘crazy-mares’ and ‘she’ll find her’ or whatever. Applejack and Fluttershy scampered back to the market; AJ to pick up her lost cart and Fluttershy to help her pick up the apples. Twilight went back to her library. Which just left Rarity with Pinkie Pie.

“So…” Pinkie Pie said slowly, a grin forming on her face.

“Yes,” Rarity coughed into her hoof. “So.”

“Prince Charming, huh?”

“Ah. Yes, well…” Rarity gestured vaguely with her hoof. “It seemed like the right thing to say at the time.”

“Hmmmmmm….” Pinkie looked seriously at her friend for a moment, and then smiled brightly. “Okie dokie lokie!” She then hopped off, decidedly looking forward to the next time they got to have a super-duper fun battle with The Great And Powerful Trixie!!!

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