A smile to brighten the darkest of hearts.

by Dying light

Rating: teen
Tags: Pinkie Pie, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Sad, Suicide / Self Harm
Length: 1474

Pinkie recalls the reason she always smiles, the real reason.

Why is pinkie always trying to make everyone else smile? During her daily rummaging, she comes across a letter she thought she had lost long ago. And through it, reminded of a mistake she made to someone close.

A short written due to some recent events in my life.

Don't know who's cover art this is.

Published 2018-10-01 23:40:01 UTC
Last updated 2018-10-01 23:40:01 UTC

Its not your fault

Pinkie skipped happily across the dusty brown attic of sugar cube corner, the murky cardboard boxes stacked neatly on top of each other swayed slightly as she passed. The pink mare did not come up here often, however, today was a bit different. Pinkie was looking for something. The cakes used this space as storage like most ponies and Pinkie was no exception. Though most of her positions reside in her room, a few boxes of her excess found their way into this already full area, with the cakes permission of course.

Pinkie idly bounced through this maze of brown and burgundy, squeezing effortlessly through the gaps between the towers of boxes.

"Now where did Mr Cake put it?" she asked no one in particular. "Ah, there!" she exclaimed spying a pile a few feet from her.

Happily, she trotted over to the leaning stack of boxes in the corner of the attic. There was only one box pinkie remembered storing up here, and there it lay, a balloon sticker adorning the side, just at the bottom of this unstable pile of stuff. Just how could Pinkie get box A out from underneath box B, C, D, E, F and G. And that's when she had the most ingenious of ideas. With absolute precision, pinkie rose onto her hind legs and adopted a traditional fighting stance. Her mane twitched upwards slightly as she focused, letting the energy within her flow to her forelegs. Small pieces of grit and dirt began to suspend in the air as Pinkie sharpened her senses further. Then, as she felt her power peak, she struck forward with the quickest of punches.

"Hyaaaaa!!" she yelled as her hoof made an impact.

The box flung itself out of from under the pile with incredible force, slamming into the wall to the piles right. The remaining boxes simply fell straight down, forming a new tower as the dust that had been dislodged resettled back into place around the dank attic.

"Hmph," Pinkie shrugged, flexing her joints a bit. "Now then," she made her way over to the box she had freed and proceeded to open it. Pinkie was immediately assaulted by a stagnant odour that could only result from years of lying dormant. The smell was so strong pinkie was forced to double take, clenching her gut as she inhaled more of the boxes foul stench. Pinkie remained stunned for a few seconds before darting for the window, unable to withstand any more. Throwing the latch upwards, she pushed firmly on the brittle white window pane, beckoning in the wind. The fresh, crisp air of Equestria's spring mornings blew through the old attic, replacing the smell of 'old' with that of daffodils and blossoming meadows.

Once Pinkie had regained herself, she retried examining the contents of her past for the item she was looking for. Rummaging through the debris, Pinkie hummed as she moved her hoves deeper and deeper into the box until she touched something frilly.

"Bingo," she said as she lifted the item from its prison. The item in question was a white tie-up apron with light pink frills at the side, the type a filly would wear if she were baking with her mother. Giggling, Pinkie began to unravel the ties tucked into the front pocket adorned with a large smiley face.

"It's been a long time since I wore this," suddenly her face fell, her eyes shallowing slightly. "Almost too long," shaking her head, she readied to carry the apron out of the attic when a small, wrapped roll of parchment fell from the large, smile marked pocket on the front.

Confused, Pinkie picked the small scroll up, opening it carefully. As soon as the writing upon it graced Pinkies eyes, her mane deflated from its usual puffiness, becoming straight and cold. And suddenly Pinkie could feel the chill of the Spring breeze she had previously enjoyed.

Pinkie Pie,

I... I know this is going to be hard. Understand that this isn't your fault. But I just can't do this anymore. Every day just gets harder and harder, more pain and I just don't want to live like this anymore.
I don't want to die, I don't want to leave the few who matter to me alone. But I don't see a way out. The loneliness, the ceaseless unending agony within my heart. The pain doesn't stop, and it only gets worse when he comes home drunk. I thought I could help her, become stronger than my dad and stop this, but the night he killed her I realised just how useless I am. I'm worthless as a pony, I can't do anything right, at home or school.

Small droplets began to fall onto the paper as Pinkie read. The day she won the junior Pastry Prize and by extent, the apron. The day she... left him alone.

But my last days with you were the best I've ever had. You helped the blood that's been frozen in me to start flowing again, you helped me feel the joys in life again when all I was was a husk, empty inside. Your warm, gentle smile made the pain numb in a world where all around me is suffering. You opened my eyes to the light of a world I couldn't see. We promised to meet today on the hill we always play on, but I know, you have your own life outside of me, and that's... that's okay, as long as you're happy, I can be happy. But I just can't do this anymore. The pain of life overrides the joy, even the joy you bring.

Promise me... Promise me you'll keep smiling. Never let your smile fade as mine did.

Goodbye,
Gentle Heart

"I'm sorry Gentle," Pinkie said through rasped breaths. Her grip tightening, crumpling the paper in her hooves. "I'm so... so sorry," Gritting her teeth, her head hung low. No cries could be heard, just the sound of tears hitting the stained oak flooring. "I wasn't there for you," she continued, "And I...," Pinkie curled up, placing her hooves over her head, the letter absorbing some of the bitter tears rolling off her muzzle. "I broke my promise to you." She croaked, the final words being almost lost between the boxes.

Pinkie did nothing, she merely sat and wept. It had been almost 10 years since that day. She never realised how hurt Gentle was inside, he never really spoke about it. And she did nothing. She let him suffer in silence. But worst of all, she broke her pinkie promise to him. The one day she could have truly shown him that he has a place and a purpose in this life and she went off to bake some cakes. Oh, if Twilight could have seen that. The things she'd say.

But somewhere in Pinkies' mind, she knew that gentle wouldn't want her to cry or grieve. She accepted the promise he made, to shower the world with her smile, so no pony suffers as he did ever again. It was her mission. Her responsibility. And most importantly, her Pain.

Minutes passed as Pinkie sobbed meekly. The note left by Gentle now an illegible mass of running ink. The air of the attic had gone from its cool spring breeze to a cold winter snap. However, as Pinkie continued to the friend she had forgotten, a small

"Pinkie!" Mrs Cake yelled from below, "remember you promised to help us prepare for the bake-off later today, get whatever you were getting, we start soon!"

Slowly Pinkie pulled herself up, her once lovely mane now a few shades darker as it left the puddle of tears she had created in the last 10 minutes.

Straining she replied "Just a second!". Immediately Pinkie sank back down, crunching the letter up in her hoof as the memories continued to fill in her head.

"Pinkie made a promise," she whispered to herself, the tears now drying as she pulled the letter closer to her chest.

Turning towards the window she had opened, a ray from the sun caught her face, warming her skin from the damp tears that adorned her fur moments earlier. Slowly her mane began to puff back to its original pink, curly texture. With her newfound resolve, she began to put on the apron, the smiley face stretching a bit to fit her now grown-up figure. The image made Pinkie smile, remembering her purpose in this world.

"And Pinkie doesn't break her promises..... Anymore,"

Author's Note

Just a short I felt like writing due to recent events in my life.

Let me know if there are any errors, It was a long week for me and I'm still tired.

Feedback is appreciated, I don't usually do stories like this.