Parting

by Wanderer D

Rating: teen
Tags: Suicide / Self Harm, Sunset Shimmer, Death, Sad, Equestria Girls
Length: 2097

The whole fiasco with Anon-a-miss has made Sunset realize something.

Sunset waited outside the assembly hall, gazing down at her hands. Her mind was going over the spell again and again, remembering what the Princess had said, so long ago.
Behind the doors she could hear, even feel, the rumble of conversations inside the large room. No doubt everyone there knew what they wanted to say and do to her.

When Sunset Shimmer realized that the real reason the school had acted as it had was because of her past actions—and her willingness to pretend they had never happened—she decided to put an end to the whole thing.
Anon-a-miss.
The past.
And the hurt she had caused others.

Published 2018-10-02 01:20:02 UTC
Last updated 2018-10-02 01:20:02 UTC

Words

Parting

By Wanderer D

o.0.o

The assembly hall was packed. All students and staff had gathered to hear, and condemn, Sunset Shimmer.

From Octavia Melody—looking at the podium with cool and detached (and calculated) indifference—to the jeering and chattering of Daisy, Lilly Valley and Rose; to the silent, angry judgement of Applejack, Pinkie Pie, Rarity, Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy.

Row after row of students, all barely holding back their eagerness to accuse, and bring Sunset to justice. For a week, the whole student body had argued and debated in between the fights caused by the MyStable profile which had exposed all their secrets, on how to handle Sunset when the truth came out.

And finally, the time had come. Not because any of them had absolute proof of her guilt—not that they needed it, it was fairly obvious—but because Sunset herself had summoned them all, promising to put a final lid on the case.

How she would confess was a matter of constant discussion. Some, like Trixie, argued that Sunset would accuse someone else. Easy way out. Others thought that she would beg for forgiveness, promising to never do it again, and of course each and every one of them imagined themselves the heroes of the story.

Lyra would listen to Sunset beg, then—in an act of indisputable grace and nobility—she would lean down, extending a hand to help her up. "If you promise, I will believe you, Sunset Shimmer," she would say, and the students around them would melt and admire her eternal generosity.

Rainbow Dash closed her eyes, imagining herself stepping in front of the bullies that would surely rush to attack Sunset. She would hold them back, then glare down at the girl who had dared betray her. "One last act of loyalty, from me to you, Shimmer," she would say, "so you never forget who the better person is. I did this for you. One last time. Now go away."

She would feel the pats on the back from her friends, and glower down anyone that would dare attack Sunset after she had her say.

Trixie would use her magic to hogtie Sunset, and she would dismissively wave Bulk Biceps to pick Sunset up and throw her in the trash. The whole of Canterlot High would chant her name and carry her on their shoulders. That would teach the interdimensional hag to not take Trixie's crown next time.

Each student was the undisputed hero of their own narrative. Righteously vengeful, or saintly in their forgiveness. Heroes who knew right from wrong; who would act ethically and earn the praise of their friends and peers.

Heroes who, knew that Sunset would never repent, not really, but they would still prove to be the better person in the end.

The hall quieted down when the door to the side creaked open. Sunset stepped through, and the hush that followed her entrance was so thick it could be cut with a knife.

o.0.o

Sunset's eyes roamed the hall, looking for sympathy.

She found none.

Taking a deep breath, she pressed her hand onto her chest. A few students frowned. Had there been a light? A slight glow of some sort?

Sunset stumbled, but caught herself on the wall. She visibly gulped and slowly walked forward, the weight of a thousand eyes on her. When she reached the base of the stage, she hesitated.

"Get on with it!" a voice shouted. It sounded like Pinkie.

Sunset bit her lip. No, it couldn't be Pinkie. She wouldn't be that cruel. Not now… then she remembered where she was and chuckled. They couldn't know.

Slowly, her hand slid down from the wall, relinquishing its purchase, and she slowly made her way up the short staircase. The strength of her legs seemed to give at the last step, and she stumbled again, hitting the stage with her hands and knees.

Laughter rumbled through the assembly hall. There was no one there to help her up. Her head turned, against her will, to look down at the crowd. On the front row were her friends. The only ones she had ever known in this world.

They looked at her without pity. Their eyes betrayed that there was no sympathy for her plight. For how much that fall might've hurt. Perhaps the one that hurt the most right then was Fluttershy's small smirk.

No doubt, it had brought back memories of the many times Sunset had made her fall. All in all, she could hardly blame any of them.

Among jeers and chuckles and more calls to "get a move on", she struggled to her feet, then finally reached the microphone. She balanced herself, locking her legs into position so she wouldn't fall. The microphone stand was thankfully sturdy enough to help her balance.

"H-hello, thanks for coming."

"Just confess already!"

"We know it was you!"

"Don't thank us, bitch!"

"Just say whatever and get the hell out of our school!"

"Go back to your world!"

Sunset closed her eyes. "I want to apologize."

The microphone whined, making people cringe and shout more, so she moved it a little, and repeated from a better distance: "I want to apologize."

Slowly, the shouts faded as the students looked on curiously, wondering what she had to say.

"For the last week, I have tried to convince you all that I am not Anon-a-miss," Sunset said breathlessly. "I-I thought… I thought I had been forgiven, you see…"

Below her, Fluttershy shifted and Pinkie frowned, her eye twitching.

"I thought… that what I had done before was… water under the bridge…" she smiled tiredly, "a cloud in the breeze, as pegasi would say."

Carefully, she dragged a hand down her face. "I did so much damage to you. I hurt you all so much. I thought at the time that there was no place for me that I didn't forge for myself. I thought I could manipulate you all. I did. Back then, this wasn't home to me, but a stepping stone for some stupid plan I had in mind." She coughed into the back of her hand.

"I-I did h-horrible things," she said, "I broke friendships, and I.. I-I just…" she shook her head, taking a deep breath.

There were mutterings from the crowd as slowly they forgot their anger and daydreaming. Sunset's voice was soft... hesitant. It didn't carry the usual strength and assurance it had before, even when she had swore she wasn't anon-a-miss.

Even when she lied.

"I wanted to leave it behind… to be a better person… to not be a monster again."

Some students exchanged glances. Was this where she would confess?

"I thought you had forgiven me… despite all the horrible things I did… a-and I just took it, this second chance I thought I had. This forgiveness I thought you'd gifted me with, despite my failures and my hubris and my machinations."

Sunset swayed, but her balance held.

"I was very happy."

Some people in the audience shifted uncomfortably.

"This doesn't sound like a confession," Daisy whispered to Rose.

"I-I don't have…" Sunset licked her lips, "In… back home, Tartarus is a real place, where they send those that have committed unforgivable crimes and are unrepentant." She smiled. "We have no idea what's beyond however… green pastures? A great library?"

Pinkie was now twitching uncontrollably, eyes wide, unable to say anything as the others looked in concern.

"Anyway," Sunset said into the microphone, which produced a loud rumble when she leaned forward more than she apparently intended, "we do have a-a way, to atone… those that-feel remorse, but cannot be forgiven."

The last word was a harsh whisper, and Sunset braced herself on the podium, her head leaning forward. She chuckled. "I-we… usually it's done after a speech. N-not before."

She looked down at the assembly of students, some confused, some wide-eyed.

"Anon-a-miss showed me that I am not forgiven yet," Sunset said. She giggled. "It's funny, the Princess told me this kind of thing wouldn't—it wouldn't hurt." She shook her head. "Head on the message, Shimmer."

She looked up.

"I'm so sorry I for what I did to all of you; that your anger would run so deep, that even my friends were hurt so badly by me that I never had a chance to defend myself… my actions caused this… they caused Anon-a-miss to do what she did."

Sunset shuddered. "So, I-I want to leave… to leave you all with-with a message, now that I am… going…"

There was a screech as her legs gave under her and she held on to the microphone, dragging it down with her as she fell to the side, knees and elbow hitting the floor, hard.

The microphone hit the wood with loud thump that shook the whole room, amplified as it was. She dragged it closer. "I know it was my fault that you had so much cause to doubt me," Sunset whispered into it. "but everypo—" She chuckled. "Everyone here can do better than me. Even… anon-a-miss."

The microphone rolled from her hand, her breathing raspy. Deep, but slow. Too slow.

"Sunset!"

"You idiot!"

"Don't!"

She couldn't see them, but she could hear them. It didn't matter. They would know, now, that she was sorry.

o.0.o

As the spell completed, Sunset's body exploded into dots of light that moved on an invisible breeze, floating down and touching every person in the room.

"If anyone could be the Queen of the Prom it would have been you. I'm sorry I stole it from you."

"Your plants and flowers were always amazing. I hated what I did to you three when I drove you apart. Your garden was beautiful. It was the only place in school I could find calm."

"I remember you. Be more sure of yourself, you're wonderful as you are. I'm sorry I chased you and made you regret so many things."

"I'm sorry you felt I was cheating you away from your sister."

"I'm sorry I made you feel insecure after all the effort you put into building your body into what you want it to be."

"I'm sorry I mocked you when you were being kind."

"I'm sorry I made you look like you had played a cruel joke on Applejack."

"I'm sorry I ruined your parties so many times out of petty anger."

"I'm sorry I never really told you how I loved your dresses."

One by one, the specks of light faded as they touched each frozen student and staff member, each with a single, heartfelt message, until they were all gone.

It was sincere. It was honest. It was heartfelt and true.

Trixie wished that she could say back she was sorry too… for wanting revenge. For hiding Sunset's homework after the fall formal.

Rose wanted to apologize… because she had seen many times before the serene smile Sunset had had when she had been in her garden before, but hid away the new one they had worked on... because she didn't want Sunset to be part of it ever again.

Apple Bloom just wanted to say she should have just talked to her.

Fluttershy wanted to say she had forgiven Sunset but this last thing had been too much a reminder of days past.

One by one, the heroes realized they also were petitioners. That they had fed and fostered their own hate as well, past beyond reason, and beyond proof. That they had wanted Sunset to be guilty; to prove that they were better than her... only to finally come to the understanding that it was they who had truly given Anon-a-miss the power to bring their hate forth.

And—like a window cracking and crashing down into pieces—they all realized right there, that they had lost their chance to say what they wanted in return.

End

Author's Note

This goes to prove I too can be depressive at about 2k words per hour.
I suppose this will get some downvotes, heh. That's okay, it's not a happy story, and certainly not something a lot of people will be (should be?) happy about.
Where was I going with this? I… just don't know why I wrote it, exactly. Maybe it was all the Anon-a-miss fics.
Maybe it's forgiveness... and what I've seen recently from people that just can't seem to either ask for it or give it.
Maybe it's because I managed to say so many things before it was too late… and only could say the rest when it was.
10/02/18 did quick cleanup. Nothing major.