THE EMPEROR COMES BITCHES!!!

I was walking home to my apartment having been at the grocery store. If you’re wondering how i looked back then was six feet tall with brown hair and blue eyes. The clothes i had on was a black hoodie with a white shirt underneath, blue pants and black sneakers. I was 18.

I had lost my parents and brother in a car accident a few months ago. Their car had been hit by an eitghteen wheeler going full speed past a red light. The reason why the driver didn’t see the red light was because he was shit faced drunk. He had been arrested and charged with vehicular manslaughter and a prison sentence of one year. I cried when i had to go to the hospital and identify their bodies. I had gotten all the money my mom, dad and brother had put on my bank account. The reason i didn’t use all of it was because i was rational and saving my money for a later date and paying my bills. I had to move out of the house i had been raised in since the bills were to expensive to pay.

As i entered my apartment i heard an oddly familiar voice. “This is a nice place you got here.” I turned towards the voice and saw a strange man sitting on my sofa looking around at my apartment. He had on a black business suit with black shoes the kind business people wear. I dropped my groceries and got into a fighting stance looking cautiously at the man. “Who are you? And how did you get in?” I was pretty sure i had locked my door before i had left.

“Now now. Is that any way to talk to a god?” The man finally looked at me. His eyes were yellow and his irises were red and a long fang was sticking out of his mouth. I would be a complete idiot if i didn’t know who was in front of me. “Discord.” I immediately relaxed. Discord was my favorite character in MLP, yeah i’m a brony sue me. He knew the importance of balance between order and chaos, he made chaos when it got to orderly and it never hurt anyone.

Discord smiled when i said his name. “Ah so you do know me. But do you know why i’m here?” I looked at him entrigued as to why he was here so i took the bait. “Shoot.” He smiled wider somehow his lips reaching up to the top of his head. “Well you see Celestia and her ponies have gotten a bit too orderly back home and i want someone to bring a bit of chaos into their lives. Not to mention their enslavement of their own males and every other species simply because ‘they aren’t worthy’” He said the last part with air quotes. I got filled with shock and anger at hearing that the characters from my favorite TV show would do such a thing but i hid my shock since i was curious about Luna.

“What about Luna?” I asked him with my hands in fists shaking in anger. “Luna was sent to the moon for a thousand years when Celestia started enslaving the stallions and raiding other countries. Celestia said that she did so that Equestria can survive. You know with the gender ratio and all that. Naturally Luna didn’t like it and rebelled she failed and was sent to the moon as punishment. She’s returned and she acts like she’s okay with what her people have turned into but i can see the hate for what her sister has done under her facade.” He said said that last part with an evil smirk on his face. “Why me?” I was confused as to why Discord would pick someone like me.

“Well because you haven’t got anything left to lose! You know loss like the back of your hand and the people of Equis have lost a lot to the ponies. I want you to stop the ponies and bring balance back to Equis.” I looked down in thought thinking about Discords proposal. The only other person i had been close to was my grandma but she had died a year ago. As Discord said i didn’t have anything to lose. I looked up at him determined “I’ll do it.” Discord filled with glee so much that he changed out of his human form and into his regular form. “Excellent! Before i send you off i’ll have to give you something so that you have a chance against the ponies.” He aimed his hands towards he and an immense pain enveloped my body. Before i could scream the pain was gone and i fell down on my knees panting heavily.

Discord waved one of his arms in a wide arc and a portal opened up besides me. “Now go and good luck. You will learn about your powers in due time.” I nodded at him and got up. I turned towards the swirling portal and stepped through leaving my old life behind.

Everfree Forest

A portal opened in the Everfree and out i came. The portal closed behind me and i looked around the clearing trying to figure out where i was. Before i could take one step forward i heard several growls behind me. I turned around and saw several pairs of yellow eyes stare at me from the bushes. Out of those bushed came about four timberwolves. I took a fighting stance ready to fight them. They growled at me and slowly circled around me. I did my best to keep my eyes on all of them. Suddenly one of them jumped towards me claws at the ready. I didn’t dodge it fast enough and it’s claws cut deep into my flesh all the way to the bone. I screamed in pain looking down at my arm seeing the cut bleeding like a river but suddenly the pain and the bleeding stopped and to my amazement my wound started to heal. In seconds the deep wound i had gotten from the timberwolf was healed completely not even leaving a scar.

I heard another timberwolf jump at me but this time i dodged it not letting my newfound ability get to my head. One of the wolves took a swipe at me with it’s sharp claws but i jumped back. I looked around trying to find something that would help me fight against the timberwolves. I spotted a thick wooden branch a few feet away from so i jumped towards it just as another timberwolf leapt at me with it’s mouth wide open. I had just gotten the branch and i swung my hardest at the incoming timberwolf. I heard something crack and a thump several feet to my left. I opened my eyes to see to my amazement that the branch had broken completely in two.

Wondering how i could have done this i heard something getting up to my left. I looked to my left and ten feet away was the timberwolf i had swung the branch at slowly getting up. I was shocked that i had hit it so hard to throw it that distance. Reminding myself that there were other timberwolves i threw the branch aside now confident that i didn’t need it. I looked at the rest of the timberwolves but they were backing away from me since now i wasn’t an easy prey like they thought i had been. I heard the timberwolf i knocked to the other side of the clearing jump towards me thinking that it could surprise me. I quickly spun around and punched it square in the snout. I heard a loud crack akin to breaking wood and the timberwolf was launched over me and over to it’s companions. It got up and i saw that it’s snout was bleeding sickly green sap which i guessed was their version of blood.

It was then that i saw that the injured timberwolf was slightly bigger than the others. The other three timberwolves growled at me for injuring their pack leader. I gave them a hard look daring them to come at me since they saw me crack their leaders snout with a single punch. They must have had taken it the wrong way since all three of them charged towards me teeth and claws at the ready. They all leapt at me at once so i rolled forward right under them and grabbed the wolves on sides tails. I roared and swung with all my new found might. When they hit the ground both of them shattered into pieces. The middle timberwolf landed behind me and turned towards me, seeing that two of it’s packmates were shattered it looked at me with absolute hatred. With hatred fueling it’s actions it charged straight at me thinking that it was gonna work this time. It opened it’s mouth wide open showing razor sharp teeth. I balled one of my hands into a fist and waited for it to come close enough for me to finish it. Once it had gotten close enough i swung my fist directly at it’s head. It’s body shattered upon impact with it’s teeth only inches away from my throat.

I looked at the pack leader as the shattered remains of the timberwolf fell down on the ground. It looked straight at me and bowed it’s head in respect. It walked back into the bushes and disappeared from my sight. I was confused as to why it would leave and why the other timberwolves weren’t reassembling themselves. I walked over to one of the heads of the timberwolves and picked it up. I could see green mist coming out of the head but nothing else to indicate that it had magic in it. I guessed that somehow i must have sucked them dry or negated the magic binding together their bodies. I dropped the timberwolf head and looked around the clearing making sure that there weren’t any other predators in the bushes. After i was sure i decided to get a lay of the land so i picked a direction and started walking.

An hour later

After an hour of walking i found a very familiar castle. That castle was the castle of the two sisters. I quickly spotted the bridge leading to the castle and walked over to it looking at it with a sense of dread since several of it’s wooden boards were missing. No doubt having fallen into the abyss below it. Not wanting to fall down into the abyss i remembered my fight with the timberwolves and my new strength. I smiled to myself as an idea formed in my head. I bent my legs and jumped my target being the other side of the bridge but i put to much power into my jump so i had no control of it and i slammed face first into the ground in front of the main gate of the castle. I got up and spit out the dirt that had gotten in my mouth thanks to my landing. I walked into the castle entering it’s main hall. From there i searched for the throne room. It took me several hours due to how maze like the castle was even in it’s ruined state. I walked up to the two thrones and sat down in the one with the mark of the sun on it. Since i didn’t have anything to do i thought about plans for ridding this world of the Equestrians and their tyranny.

I started to hear a small buzzing sound and i looked around trying to locate it. I found the buzzing to come from a fly flying around. I swatted at it to make it go away and suddenly a blue screen appeared in front of me. I looked over the screen and on the top it said Army and in the middle it had names of several factions from several universes. Those being Warhammer Fantasy, Warhammer 40k, Supreme Commander 1 and 2, Starcraft 2, Star Wars, Gears of War, All the Command & Conquer games,Total Annihilation, Several Total War games, Halo, Warmachine, Hordes, Wargame European Escalation, Wargame AirLand Battle, Wargame Red Dragon, World of Tanks, World of Warplanes and World of Warships. I put my finger on the first faction of Warhammer Fantasy ,which were the Beastmen, and it showed me the different units that faction had. Each unit had a picture on the far left side and besides that picture were a gauge of how many there were of that unit. All of the gauges were empty and i noticed numbers under the gauges. All the numbers were zero obviously but the maximum number shocked me beyond all belief. That maximum number was a hundred trillion! I couldn’t believe that i could have that many of each unit. I could take out the Equestrians with just the beastmen. But they would quickly find ways to defeat my troops if i kept sending the same at them. I decided to train beastmen first and then units from other factions later on. But first i had to figure out where i was going to have that many troops. The castle wasn’t big enough for ten thousand let alone a hundred trillion. I would have to repair and expand the castle if to be able to house at least ten thousand. But i wouldn’t do it alone.

I looked at the Train button that was underneath the gauges of the Gor unit and pressed it. A smaller screen popped up letting me chose how many i wanted to train. I selected one and saw that it would take two minutes to train. I pressed the secondary train button and the smaller screen disappeared. While i waited i looked over what the two grey buttons besides besides the Train button said. One of them said Summon while the other said Revive. I wondered what the two buttons meant but before i could think more about it another screen appeared telling me that my gor had finished traning and if i would like to summon it with the classic Y/N underneath. Curious as to what it meant by ‘summon’ i pressed Y. Not even a second after i had pressed the button the screen disappeared and an fiery orange portal opened up in front of me and out stepped the gor i had trained. At least now i knew what the Summon button does. It looked at me fearlessly standing seven feet tall with it’s crude axe in it’s left hand. It then kneeled and said in perfect english “How may i serve you my lord?” The smile i had on my face when he said that was legendary.

Canterlot

Meanwhile in Canterlot screams of pain and moans of pleasure could be heard from Celestia’s bed chamber. The moans coming from the monarch while the screams coming from the minotaur bull she was riding. “Please! No more!” The bull begged tugging hardly at his magical restraints. Celestia responded with a hard slap to his face with her magic. “Shut up! I’m close!” She let out a sream of ectasy as she landed hard on his pelvis. The pelvis having been through this hard riding for hours gave a loud crack. The bull screamed in pain as his pelvis had been broken. Celestia looked down at the bull with sadness. She got off of him and lifted him up in her magic. She put him out in hallway and told the guards standing on both sides of her door. “This one broke. Dispose of it and bring me another one.” The guards nodded and took the minotaur bull to what would soon be his death while Celestia smiled sadistically in her chamber having no idea what was happening in the everfree.