Not My Head, My Heart

Luna walked down the halls of Canterlot castle. She was almost finished lining the halls with the lavender she had picked only hours ago when she noticed a tall white figure approaching her with a low head and ears dropped from attention like they normally were and fallen back. Only one pony in all of Equestria had that stature; her sister.

“Hello Luna.” Celestia mumbled as she approached. “I’m to tired to help put up the lavender, maybe some other time.” Celestia yawned loudly as she walked past Luna. She gave no ‘good night’ or any type of farewell but Luna watched hopefully just in case she did. But the most she witnessed was Celestia retiring to her quarters just down from where she was.

Luna sighed and got back to work. She only had 3 more bouquets left to hang when a group of high nobility ponies walked past. She heard one of them scoff as they walked by. She heard the group exchange whispers with only one word audible to her, “Nightmare.” Luna felt a sudden rush of emotion. She felt sad, angry, and hurt at the same time. She attempted to ignore her own feelings and return to the task at hoof.

She had finished the chore of hanging the lavender with finesse and such elegance that anypony would have been impressed. Luna looked around to see if there were ponies admiring her work like they do her sisters. But it was nighttime, and any sensible pony would be asleep by now. She turned and headed towards her own quarters far down the castle.

There I can enter the dream realm, she thought, someplace ponies are happy to have me around.

As she turned the first corner she spotted a batpony guard wandering the castle. The stallion seemed to be looking for something, or somepony. “Is there anything I could assist you with?” Luna asked. The guard jumped slightly at the sound of her voice, and in noticing her, bowed respectfully. “At ease. Tell me, what are you looking for?”

The guard stood at attention and replied, “Why, you, your highness. I am your new personal guard. After you had not returned to your quarters I went and searched for you.”

Luna smiled a little. “Well I appreciate the gesture. Come, escort me to my quarters then. What is your name stallion?” Luna walked past the guard who, in turn, walked alongside her. Luna noticed that this particular batpony was as tall as her, which was uncommon for anypony. Let alone a night guard.

“My name is Supernova mistress. But you may call me whatever you like.” Luna’s smile spread and was now a full, closed-mouth smile.

“That’s a cute name.” Luna said. This made Supernova blush. “I think I’ll call you Nova. Tell me Nova, when did you join the night guard?”

“I just joined the ranks today your highness. I was given the honor of protecting you.” Supernova responded.

“Ah, I see.” Luna’s smile faded. She started to feel doubtful of

Supernova noticed her sudden change of mood and expression. “What is wrong princess?” He asked. He was afraid of having upset the princess on his first night. “Are you thirsty? I can get you a glass of water or the finest wine in town.”

“No I am not thirsty.”

“Hungry? Cold? I can get you whatever you want. It is my job after all.”

“No, none of those things.” Luna took a slight veer off course to smell the lavender on the walls, and to readjust a bouquet that was tilted to one side. “Do you like the lavender? I put it up every night before ponies go to bed.”

“Yes I do like it. I read somewhere that it is supposed to help ponies get good sleep right?”

“That is why I put it up.”

“That’s very thoughtful.”

Luna stopped walking and turned to look at the batpony. “Are you only being nice to me because it is your duty?”

Supernova took on a confused expression and stopped too. “What ever do you mean princess?”

“I overheard a group of ponies talking about me. One of them said the word ‘nightmare’.”

“Are you sure it was directed at you your majesty? If so I can go and place them in the dungeon if you wish.”

Luna sighed. “Yes I am sure that it was directed at me. My own sister didn’t even wish me good night. And no, I don’t want you to throw them into the dungeon Nova.”

“Okay your highness. And just because Princess Celestia forgot to say good night to you does not mean she wishes bad things upon you.” Supernova reassured in a warm voice. The pair continued walking and were now close to Luna’s door. Luna looked at Supernova.

“Thank you for assisting me back to my room. And thank you for not running away, Nova.”

This puzzled Supernova. “Whatever do you mean your majesty?”

Luna looked at the ground as they were now right in front of her quarters.

“Here your majesty, allow me to open the doors.” Supernova reached out his hoof and gently pushed one of the doors. It opened enough for Luna to walk in.

She hesitated a moment before entering. “Enter.” She commanded, but in a soft gentle tone, as if she was trying to put a filly to sleep. Supernova did as he was told. Luna shut the doors quietly behind him.

“Is there something that you wish to speak with me about?” Supernova asked. He was secretly terrified that he had made the princess angry, and he was to be sentenced to death. He watched as Luna walked toward her desk, very neat and tidy, and removed her silver slippers. Next was her chest piece.

“Yes.” Luna responded to his question as she removed her tiara. “You are not afraid of me?”

“No. I have no reason to be afraid of such a bea- I mean, noble princess.” Supernova blushed, embarrassed by his mistake. Luna turned to face him.

“Remove your armor. It makes you seem tense, serious.” Luna ordered. Supernova hesitated.

“Your highness I am to wear-“

“Remove your armor.” Luna repeated, cutting him off. This time, Supernova did as he was told. He removed his helmet first. Then proceeded to unstrap his back armor. It slid to the floor and he placed his helmet on top of it. He then slid off his combat horseshoes. Luna watched with attentiveness.

“I have done as you instructed your majesty. Why did you have me do this?” Supernova asked.

“Nopony is allowed to be in my quarters with armor on.” Luna answered. “Now then, I’ve brought you in here to ask you a few questions Nova.” She sat down in front of a pre-lit fireplace and motioned for Supernova to join her. The nervous batpony sat next to Luna as they looked into the fireplace.

After a moment of silence Supernova mustered the courage to speak. “What were you going to ask me princess?”

Luna looked over at him. “Do you think I’m a monster?”

Supernova’s eyes widened. “Why that’s absurd! Why would I think you’re a monster princess?”

“Because everypony else does.”

“Do you wish for me to throw them into the dungeons? I can do these things I have authority.”

“No Nova, I do not wish for you to throw them into the dungeons. And that’s beside the fact that I said everypony. Our dungeons aren’t big enough for that.”

“Do you wish for me to throw only the nobility in the dungeons since we know that they speak of such things?”

Luna rolled her eyes “Next question. Why did you join the royal guard?”

“To protect royalty, of course. What other reason would I be in the royal guard?” He knew the real reason he was in the royal guard, and that was not it. Luna seemed to know it too.

“You have to request to be put in the position you are in now to even be slated for it’s training. Why did you choose to protect me instead of my sister?” Luna raised an eyebrow.

Supernova gulped. “Uh, I’m a batpony. I am nocturnal so it made more sense for me to be put in this position.”

“You would not request it just for that.”

“Why would you think that?”

“Because nopony would.” Luna was already struggling to keep her composure and could barely speak without giving into tears. “Everypony thinks I’m a monster. That all I ever was and I’m going to be is Nightmare Moon! That I hate my sister and want to take over Equestria! Nopony wants to hear my side. Nopony ever gives me a chance...” her voice broke and she could no longer speak. Her ability to fight the tears was no more.

She collapsed into Supernova’s chest, sobbing heavily. He wrapped his front right leg around her. “That’s not true your majesty. Barely anypony remembers Nightmare Moon. They all believe it’s just some old foals tale.”

Luna continued sobbing. She looked up at Supernova. “R-r-really?”

He looked down at her. “Really. You are loved. Not only by your sister, by Eqeustria. By me.”

“That’s not true!” She cried. “Celestia is everypony’s favorite! They love her precious day and they disregard my night!”

“That’s not true! There are hundreds of creatures that love the night.”

“Creatures. Not ponies, and don’t say batponies because they are nocturnal by nature.”

Supernova frowned at this remark.

“N-no offense.”

“I know you didn’t mean it, I have said many a thing similar about ponies.”

Luna was still sobbing, much lighter now, almost like a cry. “Y-you don’t think that I’m a horrible pony? That I’m hideous?”

“You are the most beautiful mare in all of Equestria your highness.”

“Don’t call me that.” Luna snapped, much to Supernova’s surprise. Luna was now lightly sniffling. “I don’t like that.”

“Well then what am I to call you?”

“Call me Luna, as I call you Nova.” Luna snuggled deeper into his embrace, his chest was still damp from her tears. “You really think I’m beautiful?”

“I do not think you are beautiful. I know you are beautiful. And you shouldn’t hide your emotions like you try to.” Luna looked up at him and he released his hold.

“Why’s that? Everypony will think I’m weak or a cryfoal.” She replied. “I don’t need my emotions for anything else and I find it better that I keep my feelings to myself.”

“Isn’t that what happened with Nightmare Moon?”

“Well I tried to tell Celestia but she was always busy. So I figured if I kept my emotions in check I wouldn’t turn into her again.”

“Tell me Luna, what do you use when you cast spells?

“I concentrate. I think about what I want to do. I use my brain.” She replied, slightly confused.

“Do you use emotions?”

“Yes.”

“How much of a role do they play in spells?”

“Most of the power needed comes from emotions and feelings.”

“Then don’t “think”. You didn’t need to concentrate as hard as you think when you cast spells or use magic. You see, I’ve been studying about how magi- hmmpf!” Supernova had been cut off by Luna’s soft kiss.

“You just told me to not use my brain as much when casting spells. The tried to lecture me on- mmpf!” It was Luna who was caught off guard by Supernova’s kiss this time. “Hey no fair!”

And so their game goes. Each night they play it. Each night their affection for each other grows. With her heart Luna has gifted Supernova eternal life like hers. They keep it a secret. Or at least they thought so, for one night Celestia tells Luna she knows.